no, because HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY FLIRT. I HAVE NO IDEA AND THIS GUY OFFERED ME HIS JACKET CAUSE I SAID IT LOOKS COMFY. HOW DO I RESPOND TO THAT. AHHH
-sincerely an asexual omnisexual demi-girl with anxiety
(Y/N): Fred, I have such an immense infatuation with you, it surmounts the most embellished wonders of our nature. I can undoubtedly proclaim that I have an unequivocal, inexorable amorous fondness for you.
Fred: ...
Fred: ...what?
(Y/N) *sigh*: I love you to the moon and back.
Fred: Aww, babe, I love you to the moon and back, too.
My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. U might have the strength and size but I have pure, unfiltered rage.
Was anyone else like, a really smart/gifted student in Elementary and (some of) Middle School and they read all of these higher up books (even though they didn’t exactly understand them) because school told them too? But then when you got older (say in High School) you were just burnt out and continuously go back to those old YA Series you used to read? Or you go back to read the YA books/series that you wanted to read but school would let you because they were “too childish” for you? Books/series like Percy Jackson, Hunger Games and, Harry Potter. Or do you just end up reading fanfic because they not always too complicated or too simple? Cause I was a gifted/really smart kid in Elementary and majority of Middle School (started to fall in 8th) and now I’m in High School (I just finished my Freshman year/Class of 2024) and I find myself heading back to the books. Especially Hunger Games and Percy Jackson because I never got to finish them.
I WAS WATCHING 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU AND MY USUALLY EMPTY HEAD THOUGHT OF SOMETHING AND NOW I HAVE A REQUEST 🤭
Reader can be like Chrissy’s sister and Jason wants to take Chrissy to prom but he can’t bc reader has to go with a date so Jason gets desperate and like pays Eddie to take reader since he’s like the only person that wouldn’t be scared away by reader. Basically like the whole plot of ttihay. Like fluff in the beginning and some angst when reader finds out about Eddie and Jason’s deal but it ultimately ending with fluff🫶🏽😩
PLEASE!!! AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR BUT I COULDNT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS REALLY CUTE😭
anon i love you for giving an excuse to watch ttihay for the thousandth time again mwah! rewrote this a bunch but it came out too long so it’s basically just a retelling with short little flashbacks (italics). sorry this is so bad and got so long i am a mess | wc; 4.4k (what!!!!) [not edited btw]
you fell in love with eddie munson. it happened little by little, day by day.
it happened when he found you at a record store, a new van halen cassette tightly clutched in your hands.
“whatcha got there?” he asks, sliding in to lean on your car door.
“jesus christ! why do you do that?”
eddie smiles innocently. “do what? charm you with my looks and… charm?”
you snort. “no, freak me out by just appearing out of thin air.”
“yeah whatever, whatcha got?” he repeats.
“1984.”
“you like van halen? y’know, i’ve got the same name as eddie van halen.” he brags, pushing his hair out of his f ace.
you shake your head. “i do like halen. sucks you aren’t in a band like eddie can halen though.” you pout.
he gets this crazy look on his face, like he’s been waiting for you to say that. “i am in a band. not van halen-esque, but a band.”
“no you aren’t.” you gape. he nods. “oh my god! what kind of music do you play? metal? rock? that awful pop i hear on the radio? please don’t tell me you play pop music.”
eddie laughs loudly, his head hanging back and everything. he decides to tease you. “we do actually, can’t believe you’re calling my music shitty.” he mimes a tear falling down his cheek.
you want to reach out and hit his shoulder for joking with you, but you don’t. you stand there and laugh and shake your head.
eddie feels weird, having a girl laugh with him and not at him. “are you afraid of me?”
“afraid? why would i be afraid of metalhead eddie munson?” you say in a teasing tone.
he catches on. “okay, so you aren’t afraid, but i can bet you’ve thought about me naked.”
you play along. “you’ve caught me, i’m always thinking about what tattoos you have under there.” you gesture to his shirt. his face turns a bright pink color and before he can say anything in response, a loud engine cuts him off.
jason carver.
he parks directly behind your car and turns off the engine, getting out with a smug look on his face.
“good luck with that.” eddie says, finding the courage to wink. he walks off.
“god, what is it, asshole day?” you say, directed sort of towards jason as he walks by, chewing his stupid gum and spinning his stupid keys on his stupid finger.
you sigh. you were impulsive, a flaw you could admit. a flaw that made you climb into your car, switch to reverse, turn around and…
“what the fuck?!” jason cries. hit jason carver’s stupid car.
you’ve left a sizeable dent in the driver’s side. you’re impressed with your work, and it seems like eddie is too, as he came back just to laugh and nod to you.
it’s what jason deserves after being weird around your sister. it’s like ever since she got on the cheerleading team and became chrissy cunningham, ‘queen of hawkins high’, he beelined to her and won’t leave her alone. she didn’t mind him though, he was a jock and jocks date cheerleaders.
it happened a little bit when you actually saw him perform in his band, that one fateful night at the hideout.
“you’re in corroded coffin?” you shout over the radio music. not as good as eddie’s.
“that’s me. you like it?”
you nod. “it was great! usually not the biggest fan of metallica but, y’know, i liked it.”
“not the biggest- okay, i need to show you their good stuff later.” he says, stern and serious, but he’s smiling.
you nod and laugh. “looking forward to it.”
“so uh, why’re you here? you don’t look like a drinker.”
you shake your head and hold up a coke can. “i’m not, can’t stand drinking. i just know carol and wanted to catch up.” carol was the owner of the hideout and a long time family friend.
a beat passes before eddie speaks up.
“there’s party soon. i’m sure you’ve heard.” he clear his throat.
“what, because i’m obviously such a party-goer?” you joke. “i have. i’m definitely not going.”
“what if you went with me?” he asked. it was a little tempting. eddie was fun, parties were not fun. eddie would make parties fun.
you shake your head. “no can do. look, i gotta help out my mom with some stuff so i uh, gotta go.”
eddie nods. “wait, so what do you say?” he pouts, trying again.
you laugh and shake your head. “you never give up do you?”
“was that a yes?” he calls as you’ve already slipped away.
“no!”
eddie laughs. “was that a no?” he’s even louder than before.
if he had been closer, he would’ve heard you giggle before responding. “no!”
“9:30!” he shouts one last time, just loud enough so that you can barely hear it.
it happened a little bit when eddie took you to that party, then took care of you when you got too drunk.
“i’ve been looking for yo- woah wait. i think you need to sit down.” his eyes are wide at your expression, smiling dopily and eyes halfway closed.
“you’re pretty.” you say, words slurring.
“how much did you drink tonight?” he asks, holding you up. from your perspective, you’re standing perfectly fine.
you wave him off. “dunno, maybe,” hiccup. “four.”
“for what? shots?”
“beers. bottles.”
eddie sighs, closing his eyes for a second. “okay, we have to leave before you hurt yourself or something.”
you want to protest, but that’s when you can feel a headache coming on. you nod. “‘kay.”
eddie takes you to a nearby swingset, away from the noise of the party and the smell of cheap alcohol.
“wanna tell me why you’re drinking? thought you didn’t like that.”
“my dad’s a major asshole. he’s like, awful about dating. did you know that,” hiccup. “chrissy wants to date jason, and vice versa, but since my dad’s weird she can’t.”
eddie already knows. “why’s that?”
“if i don’t date, neither does she. i don’t wanna, but i feel so guilty.” your words are slurring again, your thoughts not completely coherent.
the bills are weighing down eddie’s pockets like bricks. “sounds shitty.”
you nod. “i’m also just being a high schooler.”
eddie laughs, though it’s strained, nearly choking on guilt. “i think i should get you home.”
you jump up and shout. “no! i can’t have some drunk guy,” hiccup. “driving my car!”
eddie laughs and helps you to steady yourself. “‘m not drunk, didn’t just in case you needed help.”
that’s when you felt it, that foreign feeling creeping throughout your body, hitting your heart.
eddie took you to your car and helped you inside, a hand placed on your head to protect it. he buckled you in, because he needed you safe.
he drove you home, driving the speed limit and glancing at you whenever he could, just to make sure you were okay.
he turned on the radio and smiled when it was van halen's girl gone bad from that same album you had bought earlier. it was perfect. eddie felt happy.
the volume low. loud enough to be heard, but not enough to hurt your head. "i should do this." you mention.
"what? start a band?"
you nod and hum. "i think i'd be good at it."
"y'know, i'm in a band. i could recruit you as a new member."
you burst out into laughter, although it wasn't funny. "what metal songs use a tambourine?"
eddie shrugs. he's parked at your house. "you play the tambourine?"
you shake your head and laugh, eyes scrunched up. "no, but i bet you i could. my father would love that, being in a band."
eddie turns the radio off, not wanting you to get distracted. he's never been good with words. "you don't strike me as the type that would ask your father for permission."
you shake your head. "so now you think you know me?"
"i'm getting there." eddie says. he's so happy inside, getting to know you.
"the only thing people know about me is that i'm a big reader with no friends. that i like jane austen a little bit too much. that i've read the dune books like fifteen hundred times."
"so you're a nerd like me?"
you nod, then backtrack. "i'm not a dungeons and dragons and tolkien nerd, but basically."
you stare at eddie for a second, and he stares back. you have this look of fondness on your face, but eddie just chalks it up to your influenced state.
he clears his throat. "so uh, what's up with your dad? he's a pain in the ass."
you nod, clearing your throat as well. "not a pain in the ass, just wants me to be someone i'm not."
"like chrissy?"
you laugh hard, nodding. "like chrissy." you repeat.
"look, i know everyone's all wrapped up in chrissy right now, but uh," he pauses, rubbing his eyes. "she's without."
now it's his turn to have this look of fondness on his face. you don't say anything, just stare, a smile creeping onto your face. "you're not as weird as i thought you were."
eddie laughs, knowing you're still really drunk. it's a breathy laugh, weird and stuck almost.
you close your eyes and lean in, your drunk brain thinking it's the best idea.
as much as eddie wants to, he knows it's not the right time. he clears his throat after what seems like an eternity. "maybe we should uh, do this another time." he hurts saying it, and he knows that he's hurt you too, just from the look on your face.
you scoff, leaning back. you climb out of the car, your car, and leave him to be alone.
it happened a little bit when he surprised you by reciting parts of the love letter wentworth wrote to anne in persuasion.
you were at the new library, the one that opened up recently. it just so happened to carry every jane austen novel, your favorites. you were browsing through, looking for anything that struck your fancy when you see a head a wild hair from the other side.
eddie notices you noticing him, and he runs around to the other side where you are. he puts on his best performance. "i can listen no longer in silence. i must speak to you by such means as are within my reach."
"what are you doing here?" you ask, eyes narrowed.
he continues. "you pierce my soul. i am half agony, half hope."
"god you are so," you start.
he cuts you off, smiling wide. "charming." you give him a sour look and walk away. "wholesome!" he tries again.
"unwelcome. you can't just, fucking, read off a love letter and expect everything to be okay." you try to make yourself sound as confident as you can.
"you're not as different as you think you, you know that?" eddie knew because he was different. you and he were much the same.
"you're not as badass as you think you are." you spit back. eddie wants to protest, to tell you he doesn't think he's badass, far from it. but you push a used copy of pride and prejudice to his chest and walk away.
it even happened when he sang house of pain in the cafeteria after everything, still persistent.
you were sitting in the cafeteria alone, your friends all ditching or with other people you didn't know. you were pushed around the food on your tray before you heard a heavy thump, causing you to look up.
eddie munson, hawkins very own metalhead, was standing on a cafeteria table with a mic. he was staring directly at you. he raises the mic to his mouth, and the music starts.
he laughs into the mic and winks, something silly, even for him.
he dances wildly, nearly stepping on everyone's food.
"say you're gonna leave me, 'cause i only tie you up"
you want to scowl, to walk out and leave him to embarrass himself, just like he did to you in your car. but you don't. it's stupid and awful but you smile and laugh.
teachers have come to the commotion and were running around trying to catch him. he's running this way and that, avoiding the teacher's hands and grabs.
"i always loved you tender, but you only like it rough." he laughs before continuing, tripping up on some lunch trays. "woman bound for glory, why you're leavin' me again?"
you want the song to continue, but a teacher jumps up and grabs the mic from him and speaks into it. "munson, detention." the mic was really the nail in the coffin.
he looks to you and shrugs, smiling like an idiot.
you can't control your laughter, shaking your head.
even when you snuck him out of detention.
you pulled your shirt down, enough to allow a little bit of skin to show. it was after school, detention in mr. andes room.
you blew out a large breath, then walked in. or waltz in really.
"hi mr. andes." you say in a sweet tone.
eddie looks up, knowing your voice. it's high and sweet but it's you.
"oh hi there, what can i do for you?" he asked, leaning back onto his desk.
you tuck hair behind your ear, smiling. "i just had some uh," your voice cracked. "i'm so sorry. i was just thinking about some things we could do to make the school library better."
he nods and chuckles. "you do like reading."
you nod. "i do." you move and try to steer him away from the window, his back fully faced towards it.
you glance at eddie, then at the window. he gets the hint, gathering his stuff quietly.
"so, i came up with - oh my! your bicep!" you hold his arm, squeezing to really sell it. "you don't - you don't take steroids do you? 'cause i heard they can really disintegrate your uh, package."
"uh-" the teacher starts, then is distracted by a thud behind him. eddie was not good at climbing through windows. eddie finally gets out, exactly when you pull back mr. andes attention to you.
"sorry about that, let's talk about this later, yeah? the library and... stuff... yeah." you walk back to the door, mr. andes trying to call you back. you run out to find eddie as soon as you've left the room.
he was looking for you too, finding you quickly.
"oh my god! i can't believe you did that with your..."
"my charm? my wits?" you tease, knowing he was talking about your appearance.
"seriously, i can't thank you enough. do you uh... sorry if this is weird, do you smoke?"
"cigarettes? no, can't stand the smell."
he shakes his head. "weed."
you think about it, you don't smoke. but you could. "i guess i could rewind."
eddie smiles wide. "okay i have some stuff in my van if you wanna?"
"i think i'd like that."
you felt it a little when you got high with him.
"this is nice, why haven't i done this before?" you giggle. you were sitting in eddie's van, him on one side, you on the other.
"you haven't known me." he laughs.
your eyes are droopy. "does it always make you feel happy every time?"
eddie nods. "i guess. at least for me."
maybe it was the weed or his hand on your ankle. but something made you scoot closer to him, take his face in your hands, and lean in. this time he leaned in too, connecting your lips.
again, maybe it was the weed, but it was the best kiss you've ever had.
he smiled against your mouth, making you smile too.
"go to prom with me." it's not a question.
you're still smiling when you pull back, but it's faint. "no."
"c'mon, why not?"
"because i don't want to. because it's a stupid tradition."
"it'll be fun, you might surprise some people."
you suddenly felt extremely sober, leaning back fully. "why are you pushing this?" eddie just looks at you, staring, like he doesn't have words. "what's in it for you?"
shit, he thinks. he's been caught. you've found out about his deal with jason. he was paid to take you out, just because jason wanted chrissy. "nothing. can i not want to be with you? i gotta have some ulterior motive?" he asks.
you laugh, bitter. "you tell me."
eddie doesn't like that. he doesn't like hurting you, but ultimately, he did. he did when he took jason carver's stupid fifty dollars. "i don't think you should smoke anymore." he tries to joke, he tries to lighten the situation, he tries to make you laugh.
you don't though. you shake your head. "i think i need to leave." so you do.
after that, it went downhill. everything did.
"chrissy?"
"come in." she says. she's laying on her bed, watching a movie.
you sigh. "i'm sorry for prom. sorry i'm not like you, queen of hawkins high."
"you don't care," she whispers.
"i do. i do care."
chrissy sits up, glaring at you. "you don't! i don't get to go to prom because you don't feel like it! its... it's not fair."
you didn't know how to go about this. you decide to talk about jason. "jason never told you we had history, did he?" she shakes her head. "before he was the jason carver of hawkins high, we were friends."
"yeah, okay." she sneers like she doesn't believe you. you can admit it does sound weird.
"we were friends, but he tried to make a move on me and after that, i realized he was shitty and full of himself and someone i wouldn't want to be friends with."
chrissy's expression changes. "why didn't you tell me?" she knew he was a dick and full of himself. all he talked about at that party was his modeling career. a part of her hoped it wouldn't work out.
"i wanted to let you make up your mind about him."
chrissy stands up, glaring at you again. "so you let dad hold me hostage." she says it more like a statement. "i am not stupid enough to repeat your mistakes."
you stammer. "uh, i guess i thought i was protecting you."
"not letting me experience anything for myself is not protecting me." she closes her eyes before she gets too heated. "leave."
"what?"
"i want you to leave me alone." she opens her door, gesturing for you to leave her room.
when you finally went to prom, everything was okay. until it wasn't.
eddie met you at your house. he wanted to hug and kiss you and tell you sorry over and over again until you believed it. he settled for holding your hand over the center console.
"you're staring," he says, smiling from the driver's seat.
"you're in a suit."
he nods. "i am, something i had laying around. i'm handsome, right?"
he doesn't expect you to laugh and sincerely say, "yeah. you are."
eddie's nearly shaking by the time you get to the hawkins high gym. he had a plan, a plan to get you to trust him again.
"why're you shaking?" you ask, feeling his hand.
he shakes his head. "dunno, prom's scary."
you laugh because prom is scary. "i'm sorry."
"for what?"
he's leading you into the gym, the music getting louder and louder. "for like, questioning you and stuff. i don't believe you'd do anything bad."
eddie tries his best to smile, to make himself look innocent. "it's alright."
once inside, you dance and eddie spins you and laughs. it's just you and him right then, and it feels amazing.
the song ends and eddie lets go of you. "i have to go, i'm not leaving, but i sort of am? you'll see." and he's gone. next thing you know, he's on stage with a guitar in hand, members of his band surrounding him.
a familiar song starts. "you didn't." you mouth.
"i did." he mouths back, his eyes on you.
it's parallel to the event in the cafeteria, eddie on the tables, singing house of pain by van halen. people around you look confused, because why is eddie munson, metalhead and freak, singing for someone?
his eyes on you make you feel like the only girl in the whole wide world.
you forget time, like it's just whirling around you.
"gonna fix it so you never leave. this house of pain." he sings. the song's ended and eddie's already making his way through the crowd to you.
he kisses you like it's the first time again, only you're both sober. lovesick maybe, but sober.
"i can't believe you." you whisper, only for him to hear.
he's smiling like an idiot, a smile you've grown to love.
"hey! why the fuck is chrissy with someone who's not me?" jason appears from behind you. he's directed his harsh words towards eddie, who's eyes are wide. "i didn't pay you to take out y/n just for chrissy to ditch me!"
eddie doesn't respond, his eyes are on you. you're hurt, broken beyond belief. your eyes are watering, blurring eddie to an outline.
"nothing in it for you, huh?" you say. it's quieter than you want, but he hears it. he hears it because he's tuned to you.
you clench your jaw, trying to hold in the tears and sobs and hurt. you walk past, hitting his shoulder.
if you had stayed, you would've seen chrissy walk up to jason, smiling sweetly and innocently. her expression changes dramatically, and quickly. she punches him in the face, his nose.
"what the fuck?!"
she punches him again. "that's for my sister!" she knees him in between his legs. "and that's for me."
jason falls to the floor, hands clutching his nose and crotch. it's a sight to everyone around him.
you felt stupid, falling in love with eddie munson.
"wait!"
"no, eddie."
"it wasn't like that, i swear." he reaches you, holding your shoulder. you pull away.
you scoff. "what was it, like a down payment now and a bonus for kissing me?"
"i didn't care about the money!" he didn't, he was holding onto all the money for you, to do something nice for you once he's fixed everything. everything won't get fixed, he thinks. "i cared about... i cared about you."
"you are everything i thought about you from the beginning," you say, as calm as you can.
you start to walk away and eddie panics. he doesn't know what else to do other than kiss you. you push him away and run out of there. he's messed up. he really has.
in the present, you're in english class, ready to present a poem you had written for an assignment, one that was assigned however long ago. you felt weird, you didn't have eddie anymore. your father apologized for being weird and allowed you to go to an out-of-state college.
unfortunately for you, eddie was actually in the class, something that rarely ever happened. he had his head down and was bouncing his leg up and down.
"okay class, who wants to present their poem first?"
no one steps up, so you do. "i do."
eddie looks up, glancing at you. you aren't looking at him. once you're in front of the class, he notices your hands shaking. he hates that.
you take a deep breath before starting.
"i hate the way you talk to me
and i hate the way you cut your hair,
i hate the way you drive your van,
i hate it when you stare.
i hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme."
you laugh to make it seem like you're not tearing up. it doesn't work.
"i hate it... i hate the way you're always right
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry."
eddie's looking at you now, studying your expression.
"i hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you don't call.
but mostly, i hate the way i don't hate you,
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all."
eddie's bouncing both legs and wringing his hands. he feels weird, an emotion he can't name. it's not bad, it's nice. like you didn't forget about him.
"sorry." you whisper, wiping your tears before gathering your stuff and leaving.
the day didn't get much easier after that, classes going by like you were walking in molasses. too slow.
when the final bell rang, you wasted no time in getting to your car. you didn't want to face eddie.
in your car, you saw something shiny. a brand new tambourine sitting on the seat. "you're shitting me." you say to yourself.
eddie's there suddenly, right by your side. "do you like it?"
"it's for me?"
eddie laughs. "of course, for when you join my band."
you shake your head laughing. "how'd you-?"
"eh, had a little extra cash." he jokes. "some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl."
you smile, hiking your shoulders up. "is that right?"
"didn't really work though, not sure falling for her was a part of the deal."
you get this look on your face, a mixture of fondness and love and pure admiration. "really?" you know the answer.
he nods. "yeah, i mean it's not every day i find a girl that makes me want to break out into some van halen song."
you laugh, hard. you think about the cafeteria song, and the prom song, all for you. all for you by eddie munson.
he pushes your hair back and kisses you. it's not like the other times, it's sober, unlike the first. it wasn't mean to fix anything, unlike the third. it was real and nice and you wanted it.
you break away to talk. "you can't just buy me a tambourine whenever you screw up."
"i know, but there's always spoons, or maracas, or-" he begins listing off.
you cut him off with another kiss. you were fine with a tambourine, as long as it meant you could be with eddie.
bitches be like “this is my comfort show” and the show’s just about a bunch of gay kids with daddy issues running around killing monsters from a different dimension.
I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.
My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay pot, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the colour you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.
But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.
I was a gifted child once. I was the golden girl. And one day, I burned out.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire
People who hate on Grace Van Dien for shipping Eddie and Chrissy are just misogynistic. Y’all seriously hating her and calling her creepy, obsessed, making up theories that her co-star hates her, just because she ships two fictional characters? But when Joe says the same, it’s crickets, because he’s a “cute baby” and he doesn’t understand what he’s talking about?Maybe put down the phone and seek psychological help. This parasocial relationship you have with that man is insane. Y’all trash talking Grace ain’t gonna make him f*ck you.
