Even muddiest waters run

this is where i dump my garbage

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

dad ever so casually dropped into conversation this evening that it was cancer they found in his kidney, it’s gone now, i knew it was though. i just knew. apart from my grandad’s death (a long time ago), cancer has not really come into my life much before. now in the space of a year both my boyfriend and dad have had it and got rid of it. i just feel a bit weird and blank about it. 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

I got asked to speak on a panel at a creative careers talk at King’s College this week, how cray is that? here’s me being an adult. I’ve got my first weekend off for a little while this week and the first time I’m seeing really good music for a while (jamiroquai and helena hauff in one night thank uuuuu!!) so I’m well excited. I’m in the most ridiculous situation at work atm whereby there are five managers including myself - one of them is my boyf but no-one knows, one of them refuses to talk to me because i don’t reciprocate his feelings for me (he’s treated past members of staff the same apparently for the same reasons), one of them is refusing to talk to me because i’m the only person in the whole company who calls her out on shit, and the other is my manager. lols. i’m somehow still really really enjoying it though. pretty damn all-round happy. djing is actually going so well as well :) 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

B is the fucking best thing that has happened to me in so long!!!! I feel so at peace with the world. We have had the odds stacked against us in so many ways and we are still so bloody happy and it’s so fucking great and I’m so lucky.

The venue re-opens this week and it’s ya girl who’s been manning the promotion and I so so hope it goes well, I have a feeling it will do, I will be so proud if it does :)  

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

plus b is back from australia tomorrow it’s been three weeks i am excite :))) 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

this is gonna sound really cliche but the music industry is so strange. got pissed with our ceo yesterday and one of the directors was telling him that he thought i’d make a really good promoter for electronic music, which is lovely, but obviously won’t happen. i’d never really thought of myself as being a promoter because i don’t think i’m 1. arrogant or 2. schmoozy enough, but dollop is part of the company and the guy who does that is actually very kind and their lineups are pretty good. it’s just so wrong that i get treated so well by them and b’s been treated so horrendously badly, i feel really conflicted about it. every time i get drunk with work people i feel so embarrassed and worried the next day, so many #important people and i either waffle on too much or say nothing at all and look really dull. anyway. life’s good i’m just finding it really strange navigating through all of these social situations 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

Got drunk at the Tate and made some feminist meme-referencing art

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

B makes me feel at peace with the world :) 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

:) 

[rocknrollwitches]

PJ Harvey, Bjork, and Tori Amos

[tastefullyoffensive]

“What is this, a cat tree for ANTS?!” (via cewallace9)

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

guess who’s got a boyf after 5 and a half years of singledom #itme 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

Women’s march yesterday was fucking wonderful. 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

me n b are still togevs, it’s been just over 3 months, i think this a thing, i’m so happy. i think dad is okay. work is pretty incredible really, i can’t believe my luck. went to nottingham again on monday to do this quarterly review thing (i was the only girl out of 10 people loool music industry anyway) and then we all got smashed and it was great. everything’s great. i’m so happy and so lucky. 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

dad got pneumonia, last time he got pneumonia he had to have a valve in his heart replaced and was in hospital for six weeks, they’ve found a spot on his kidney, i knew it wouldn’t be long before this happened, i’m so glad i’m going home on friday, i’m so sad and so lonely. 

[marqweabyss]

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

I’ve been putting hundreds of fairy lights up around the venue, look how pretty our stage looks :)) 

[scrapofsassafrassssghjo]

for about a month now i have been seeing a man who is quite a lot older than me (he’s 34). i’ve not felt this way for years and years and nothing like this has happened to me for equally as long and i’m seriously falling for him. i only met him recently because he nearly died of blood cancer. i am so happy that he’s here and it’s been so strange to meet someone after something like that’s happened to them, to know that we so easily could never have met. i have been so worried about how much they’re overworking him since he started work again. he stayed here last night and had a night sweat and is really worried about it and i didn’t immediately realise why. i just looked it up and now i am fucking petrified and he’s calling his oncologist and the reality of this situation has completely overwhelmed me