[unseemlyndisturbed]

fics rankings

ao3

currently writing calenture and too many fics for gross hollanov week

tag index, please search these tags before you send an ask

media recommendations

spoiler unsafe

[nocoastposts]

Pillow Talk | E | 3.1k

AU - roommates | fluff and smut | caught masturbating | pillow humping | first time

Shane claws at the sheets, drunk on the image of Ilya pounding into him relentlessly.

‘Tell me how it feels, Hollander.’

“Feels so good, don’t stop,” Shane whines emphatically, cheek shoved flat against the bed.

He’s so fucking close, right on the precipice of release. He feels a familiar trembling in his thighs, a spark igniting at the base of his spine. He speeds up even more, rutting against the damp pillow as his orgasm approaches.

“Ilya, fuck, I’m close, I need -”

“What do you need, Hollander?”

Shane’s eyes fly open and his movements screech to a halt, body shooting upright and moving off of the pillow as if it’s burned him. He stares in wide-eyed horror as Ilya smirks at him from the doorway.

Fuck.

Shane and Ilya are friends and roommates. When Ilya stumbles upon Shane during some “alone time”, he decides to stick around.

In lieu of WIP Wednesday, I'm tagging some mutuals who might be interested and whose WIPs and fics I really want to see!

@anincompletelist @porcelainmortal @octaviaabadassblakee @hollanovshome @bitbybitwrites @tearsofshane @probablily @naturalpr3y @nevcolleil @unseemlyndisturbed @anyroomsrio @billowyy @eusuntgratie @onpurposewrites @emilywritesfics @silverssorrysoul @wendydarling95 @shanebug @orchidscript - and anyone else who wants an open tag to share their work!

[unseemlyndisturbed]

i can’t get over the white people dragging you on twitter for a fic you haven’t written that they were probably not going to read anyway. really not sure what brownie points they’re trying to win with each other by being fake mad at a niche that doesn’t involve them but thanks for all the things you’ve put out. you are genuinely one of the most inspiring authors i know of and im excited for that raceplay email

people indeed like to whack for the sake of whacking, lol. i’m staying off twitter because i don’t want said whackings to discourage me in anyway. i understand that this is a loud minority that are very detached from my reader base, and haven’t engaged in my work in any meaningful way, but getting these asks are very grounding. as well as all the dear people that have sent me messages, thank you all so much, and you still are thank you! i will not be able to get back to you on twitter (funny, i have not recieved many direct message requests insulting me or telling me to harm myself hmmmm only public appeals that don’t tag me directly interesting, lol), but just know i appreciate the sentiment.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

I love everything you write but I love following your blog because I absolutely adore your own think pieces and take aparts on your fic. You’re so intelligent and introspective and it showcases in your work!

thank you sweetheart. half the fun is the analysis in the end, and i’m glad that you guys enjoy engaging with me.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

It’s weird to see the fandom jumping you over topics that both lead actors don’t seem opposed to enjoying…I mean we know Connor’s into taboo and let’s be honest Hudson’s leaked letterboxd was real so he’s into it too 😭 I feel like Hudson would really like ur fanfics, actually.

haha i cannot say anything about their personal takes but this is very sweet of you to say :). i’d hope so.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I love your work and you're one of my favourite writers! I hope you're not stressing yourself out too much and that you're doing well. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and take care <3

you are all so, so sweet, thank you :) <3 hope everybody is doing well.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

how does one become friends with you?? 🥲

catching me at a good time in dms, but i will say i’m not too sure right now is the best time for that loll, i’m already quite a private person, and i know a lot of people are looking for. gotchu moment and i have no interest in my personal conversations being posted without context.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

the sad truth of this fandom is, no one is as “woke” as they pretend to be. shunning or ignoring content simply because it makes you feel things you don’t want to feel is a naive and childish way to consume media. exploring complicated topics is part of understanding them, and race play has the potential to bring up a lot of very important & worthwhile conversations.

a young black creative has a much more vast idea of race, ethnicity, and complicated mixed race relationships than a lot of the people criticizing them. maybe, you should all think about why you went to the most abstract racist end goal for shane when unseemly mentioned race play. maybe, you should all also think about the implications of drawing a line in the sand with what things their writing has explored and what things you think it should be “allowed” to explore.

if you can read a rape fic and not worry that the author is off finding vulnerable young men to assault, can you then read a fic with race play and not worry that the author is off hate criming asians? some of these critiques are flying a little too close to the sun and i fear we’re starting to witch hunt / circle back to antiblack sentiments.

learn to be moved by art and figure out how to feel a little bit uncomfortable when consuming content critically, or censor your media and stop seeking out nuanced art just for the sake of complaining

i appreciate you, and i agree with a lot of the sentiment, but i see how people’s sensitivity change drastically depending on personal experience. i feel like a lot of my readers haven’t been put into either of the positions shane/ilya are in in my fics, and thus it’s much easier to consume. i understand that, and i understand this is triggering and difficult. i can also understand the reactions.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

can i ask a genuine question? would you be willing to write raceplay involving a black woman, perhaps svetlana, in the same way you're willing to write it involving an asian man? if not, what makes those situations ethically different to you? i'm asking because i'm trying to understand whether your principles are consistent or whether they change depending on which race is being fetishized

i would be, completely. the situations are not ethically different to me at all, especially because the purpose behind me writing the fic doesn’t changed, as i have explained before. the fic would be a lot less interesting to me because i just like ilya and shane more as characters. but i have no problem with translating the fic (which i haven’t even started working on, haha, i think it’s quite funny that a concept which hasn’t even reached paper yet is having people so up in arms) into something that would fit for svetlana and ilya whilst still depicting the issues i’d want to portray.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

Hi! Just wanted to say that I'm such a big fan of all your work. The writing for rck is legitimately as well written and engaging as any published splatter punk I've read, if not better. It's sick in the best way.  Don't take this the wrong way, but I was shocked to see you are only 19!  AI could never make up what's in your brain. I don't support AI use, but I also understand that people make mistakes, and it's clear that your stories are all you. I sincerely hope you don't get discouraged at the negative comments about the content of your work. People on Twitter can be really morally performative. Love from a fellow freaky brain <3

thank you :).

[unseemlyndisturbed]

had to unfollow you on twt because people were harassing me in my dms calling me a dirty racist. i’m so sorry im weak. i will follow and support your fics nonetheless 😞

no please, don’t worry about that, do what’s best fro you. i had the idea of any of my readers being harassed at all. unfollow me on twt :), i’ll continue to post here too + start posting about fic updates here as well. honestly, days before any of this started i was talking to my mutuals about how much i disliked having a bigger account. i think i might leave my main up for posting about fics, make a smaller private one? hm.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

shane dissecting ilya to help him. to find the place where it went wrong so he can carve it out. so ilya can be happy again. so shane can understand every little piece of ilya, never mess up for him again. (not a writer but this is my little submission to gross hollanov week <3)

this is absolutely beautiful, if i didn’t already have a handful for dark!shane prompts for ghw i would write this, maybe for another day?

[unseemlyndisturbed]

do you fw bottom Ilya?

i love bottom ilya and will write it some day, i’ve had an idea but it’s just porn w plot which is boooooooring but trust i’ll slip it into a fic or two.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

are all the mods for gross hollanov week 18+? i saw the new account manager on twitter didn’t have age in bio and just wanted to be 100% sure. thank you

yes they are 18+ i can confirm :)

[unseemlyndisturbed]

i personally follow u on twitter and am a fan of both connor and hudson. i never got the vibe from you that you were a hudson hater. 🫩 it’s legal to like only one of them if you don’t actively shit on the other loll and a problematic following can literally not be noticed. i rted toxic hudson/connor haters by mistake too. i love your fics and hope you aren’t taking this too hard. 🫰🏻

thank you! i have friends that don’t like francois, i have friends that are mostly solo stans for hudson, i am not into serious rpf (though i have read connor/hudson fans connor/francois before because a good fic isn’t a good fic). hudson is great, i understand why people love him, connor is great, i understand why people love him too, but i also understand why people wouldn’t want to engage with either of them. complicated complicated things, indeed. i think anyone who has engaged with me 1 or 1 knows where i stand, but i just want all my hudson-loving-readers to know they’re welcome.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

why are they whacking a black person for writing race play😭😭😭😭😭

i think my race plays a role but still isn’t enough. some people just hate the concept of the kink at all, fair, fair, whack me whack me. on the other hand, some people are just worried about the way it will be written, and i haven’t spoken about the concept really because i hate spoilers. i want to write this but ensure it’s, like i’ve said, a good and realistic depiction of the struggles of racial dynamics in mixed relationships. it is completely consensual kink, and there is social commentary in the porn, obviously, hm.

[unseemlyndisturbed]

do you actually think writing race play about an asian character isn’t racist because you’re black? I want to highlight the fact that you’re black, writing race play about a group you aren’t in. If Asian people are telling that it’s racist, do you care at all?

of course i care, except for most of my friends that are advocating for me to write this are asian. those are the takes i want to hear regarding this topic. i care, i care completely, but a lot of the arguments i’ve seen are straw manning and resorting to insults. that doesn’t really say much. i think, if anything, the best thing for me would be to co-write this work with an asian mutual. the fic isn’t just about the raceplay alone, none of my fics are every about the sex, only, i want to depict the racial dynamics as authentically as possible. that is so important to me, the most important thing.