one eloquent bastard

tragedy is when i cut my finger • comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die • mel brooks

[seb-isalright]

hi! human garbage queen Lo here with a second babe.  this is my boy sebastian alrbight and I love him dearly!

•(more about the boy below)•

—— wait, that’s not FROY GUTIERREZ ! it’s SEBASTIAN ALBRIGHT who identifies as CISMALE. a TWENTY year old JUNIOR and a MEMBER of BETA OMEGA RHO. SEB is FUN LOVING, IMMATURE and studying CREATIVE WRITING. you can also find them working as a SALES ASSOCIATE at THE LAST BOOKSTORE. will HE even have time to do anything else? 

○ seb was born in Boston, Massachusetts to a college football coach father and a small business owner mother. has a thick af spanish accent

○ definition of a “class clown”. he was always the one goofing off or making snarky comments in class. most of his high school life was surviving bullies by making them laugh and spending afternoons in detention for pointing out that the mole on his math teacher’s balding head looked like pangea. also, the most common thing he hears is “sit down and shut the fuck up, albright.”

○  if you can get past the constant puns and he incessant picking on, seb is the most trustworthy and loyal person you’ll ever meet. if you’re his friend, it’s likely you’re a friend for life.

○ seb decided to capitalize on the fact that he was a sarcastic asshole and declared a creative writing major, hoping to write for either comedy shows or create a stand-up career of his own.

○  he and his father have an extremely strained relationship. his father has always been the kind of person who has one view of what a man is. that’s athletic and strong. seb is not that. his father doesn’t mean to be so hard on him, but calling him a pussy and a fag hasn’t helped him become a more manly guy. some of his brothers have started to mirror his dad and the boy has basically become the family punching bag.

○  a few years ago, seb was in what he thought was a pretty amazing relationship with a pretty amazing girl. everything seemed to be perfect and some people would even call them #relationship goals. however, a few months into the relationship, the girl started putting sebdown for everything. what he wore, what he said, what he did: it was all scrutinized. then, after he tried to end things one night, she became physical. of course, as so many do, seb accepted her apology and entered into an abusive relationship for over a year.

○  seb still has a lot of ptsd from his abusive relationship. whenever someone talks to loud, raises a hand, or starts to get argumentative, he will be on the verge of a panic attack. he’ll never divulge why he acts that way since he doesn’t want to seem so weak for it. even his father said, after he admitted it to him, that “you shouldn’t have let yourself get beat up by a girl.”

~HMU for plots, cuties!