attn:

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Hi, my name is [redacted]

And I'm a (covert) narcissist

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current mood: Frantically pawing through boxes/bags/piles of belongings/papers searching for proof of driving school attendance for my driving test on Friday About 6 hours south Leaving on a bus leaving in less than 2 hours At 3am

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I still don't know what Zumba is/looks like

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iconic

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me after cutting caffeine from my diet 2 months ago: *has a green tea @ 3pm* *is wide awake at 2am* nice nice

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Mattie really likes hanging out on butts and between legs

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Distinctions

"I have a body" vs "I am a body" ***** "I don't have the time for X" vs "I'm not carving out/giving myself the time for X"

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I’ve noticed this summer’s nights being cooler than last and that coupled with the long rainy weeks in the beginning give me hope we’ll experience an actual autumn

I can’t take much more blinding stupefying heat+light

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I just peeled back another layer of my psyche and found an until now undiscovered pocket of self-delusion!

Neat!

(I’m going to start doing a lot more. Of many things that I never knew I liked it because i’d convinced myself I wasn’t “good at,” meaning capable of receiving praise for, them, never once actually asking myself whether I enjoyed doing the things.

Huh.)

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I'm going to sit in an empty computer lab sometime tonight hacking away at the final paper of my undergraduate career* scarfing down room temperature soup straight from the can

*once I stopped viewing academic success as the be-all, end-all this phrase really started to bug me. i think that’s because i imagine a fresh-faced 18 year old with Plans For Life, and it doesn’t jive with me. I don’t have that focus yet, and feel like a kid dressing in their dad’s suit calling the past few years a “career”

maybe that’ll change. once I find something I want to build upon.

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eeeeEEEEEE