Spill the tea on Connverse!!
Ahh of course. That piece of shitp. Crap in its own right, but its fanbase’s incessant shoving this down everyone’s throats ironically makes my body reject it. The emetic-laxative combination of Connverse drives me to expel bodily wastes on both ends.
You know, I was tired of main guy x main girl ships twenty years ago. Of course, I really contest Connie being considered a “main girl” when she honestly wasn’t around enough to warrant that role. Her screentime was pitiful compared to the actual main girls (Garnet/Pearl/Amethyst); she’s closer to the CG B-Team in terms of screentime and plot relevance.
But given that there’s literally no other human girls the show really gave a realistic alternative for Steven, and there’s a really really stupid stigma that pairing him with any gem automatically makes you a pedo/racist/rapist/other words antis don’t know the meaning of, Connie’s the only viable one to put in that role.
Also, don’t care if you ship it or not, but if you buy into Sugar’s “Oh, they were always in love!”, then fuck right off with that.
Because A: That’s dumb; that’s not how love works, and fuck you royally if you really believe it was nothing but constant romantic love in the show itself.
And B: The show itself had a whole episode explaining why this very concept is utter fucking bullshit.
As badly written Garnet was for much of SUF, maybe we shouldn’t forget that she had many moments of spilling her own brand of tea that shouldn’t be ignored.
Connverse as a whole is a broken aesop. SUF wasted our time building up Connie as someone who had goals, an actual fucking life outside of Steven, and had common sense to know she doesn’t have time to spend on maintaining relationships, especially after she leaves for college.
But nah, in the end, even though Connie was every bit as dense as the other gems not named Peridot (see: Bismuth Casual) and was largely absent for half of SUF, we’re supposed to buy that she knows Steven’s pain better than everyone else and somehow is the only one competent enough to rally everyone into a plan to calm down the monster.
Which apparently included Connie backpedaling. Look, she had zero reason to enter a relationship with Steven - she could see plain as day that Steven was not only a traumatized mess, but he had no real understanding of what it meant to be in a more serious relationship.
And yet, just as Connie’s set to leave for motherfucking college on the other side of the country, she hooks up with Steven, who’s going to spend much of his time doing cross-country BS.
Tell me Steven could still be cured if Connie just hugged his monster self like everyone else. Because that’s what I want to believe.
And if you do believe that, that means the kiss itself was superfluous!
But if you believe Connie really needed to kiss Steven to turn him back into normal, guess what! That would mean Connverse became canon via emotional blackmail.
At best, they have a long-distance relationship here. One they can’t realistically maintain - like, who the fuck cares if Lion’s there’s to trivialize the distance? Connie’s going to be busy. Busy with shit Steven doesn’t understand. Like seriously, by all rights it should fucking fail. They should break up within Month 1.
Connverse in SUF isn’t the same as Connverse pre-timeskip, let alone Connverse in Season 1 where it was actually decent.
But that’s okay, because as time passes, people change. This would’ve been a good lesson for Steven to learn about how the people you think you’re forever destined to be with end up becoming someone who absolutely is not his soulmate. And that’s not to say the change is bad; Connie’s simply found her own path in life, and it’s one that would likely make Steven miserable as he’d have to force himself to adapt in ways that wouldn’t make him comfortable just to keep up with her.
And no, just because they sank Larsadie for similar reasons doesn’t mean Connverse should have been kept afloat. Larsadie was a background ship that just got the bare minimum of closure, and would have best served as foreshadowing to Connverse ultimately going down a similar path.
And hey, remember that time in Season 5 when Connie was absolutely horrible to Steven?
How did that get resolved, again?
(I mean shit, Lapis never had to answer for what she put Peridot through, but at least they had next to no interaction past that point even after her return; that gives the illusion that actions have consequences!)
Try and convince me Connie and Steven wouldn’t clumsily “work out” all their problems by becoming Stevonnie and leaving it at that.
Actually, don’t. I’m concerned Connverse antis will read this and actually spew essays at me and the last thing I want to do is read some stupid idiot’s manifesto on why this ship is like Jesus if Jesus was a relationship.
germansingergirl
gummygunk
andulkaphoto
kaledo-art
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
