It took a decade but I've finally given in

Hello, I've only just joined tumblr despite lurking for about a decade. I'm mostly here to annoy my brother. Friend of birds and bats, enemy of trees and monkeys.

[vykodlak]

commerson’s dolphin looks like malayan tapir looks like commerson’s dolphin

[vykodlak]

[seaemberthesecond]

it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

[thereforealiar]

"you should be at the club" incorrect "you should be at pirate weekend at the renn fair" well this we cannot refute.

[c-rowlesdraws]

Wizards of the Coast: gnolls are brutal and violent beasts, they’re dumb as rocks, the only thing they love more than murdering unsuspecting adventurers is eating them afterwards

Me: okay but what if some of them were, you know, chill, like they were just dudes? They’re still people, surely they can’t all be evil as a rule, I don’t like the implications of that

Wizards of the Coast: no they LOVE murder and they’re super evil. In fact, their god is really a demon, and all of them are also demon-possessed? They live in abandoned ruins and stuff because they can’t build their own villages or create anything, all they know how to do is steal and destroy. Also don’t feel bad about killing the baby ones when you’re clearing out a settlement, they’d for sure grow up to be evil no matter what, it’s fine

Me: cool that sucks, anyway I made a gnoll, she’s nice and her name is Sweet Pea

I love 1) having elaborate imaginary arguments, 2) creating characters out of pure spite for disappointing lore, and 3) hyenas

[aberrantemotion]

Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay

[iz-robin]

One of these has the moral standing of a cartoon villain, the other might save the country.

Welcome to British politics.

[matthgeek]

Well that's not staying in the tags

[helenmask]

I thiiinkkkk I'm done

[pangur-and-grim]

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

[pangur-and-grim]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[kholdseid]

[sighinastorm]

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

[the-haiku-bot]

As dandelions

to sidewalks, so onions to

refrigerators.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[friendly-asteroid]

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

[friendly-asteroid]

Excellent. Here she is, being super brave:

[totallyuniquelily]

[skunkes]

[t00thpasteface]

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

[44prop]

one normal day in british politics that’s all i ask for . will never happen

[penny-anna]

People of tumblr, I believe in you. I trust you to make the right choice. I truly believe we can make this a reality. We have the power. We can achieve anything we put our minds to.

We CAN make Count Binface the next Tumblr sexyman.

[pangur-and-grim]

it is funny when I get asks like “haven’t seen grim in a while. is she okay?? is she dead? do you love her?” and then while I’m typing an answer, Grim is sprawled across my arm like this

[pangur-and-grim]

don’t look at all my lip balms

[puddlebrigade]

there are four coasters and you put the coffee cup on a book

[pangur-and-grim]

don't look at that either

[dungeonmastersconsortium]

yeah, sure, it was the "power of friendship" that defeated you, and not my super cool "mega bone explosions" spell that I worked really hard on, whatever idiot

[schrodingers-anarchist]

Thinking about how Grace casually gave Rocky a computer with basically All Human Knowledge.

How did the people of Erid feel when they got that? I mean, here's this thinking machine they apparently had no concept of, containing all this advanced knowledge of things they had no idea about like radiation and relativity...

My headcanon is that they're gonna feel like total assholes for not sending something similar back, so they end up using the laptop and Grace to make a human-compatible primer of Eridian science including the recipe for xenonite and their spaceship, then launch it towards Earth.

But the laptop didn't have just science texts; it had fiction and music and games. So they add a bunch of Eridian cultural stuff too.

So now there's this ocassional information exchange between planets lightyears away from each other that use astrophage to send probes full of the latest knowledge and news. By the time the civilizations advance enough to travel and contact, Earth and Erid are like old friends.

[autisticlittleguy]

Imagine humans getting samples of Eridian music. Imagine the kind of songs developed by a culture who can see sound, have 5 vocal chords, computer brains, and perfect memory. Eridian dubstep would fry your brain. This is giving Doritos to victorian era children all over again.

[disasterdrow]

i just know an earth rapper over eridian beats is the hardest track of all time. imagine...

[burins]

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change