What moderate to mild depression actually looks like.
It may look like I’m quite happy on a day off. Just relaxing. Doing nothing all day. Wearing nothing but my dressing gown. Sounds ideal right?
But what you don’t know is...
I’m a girl who loves to be busy
I love to be productive
I live to have a purpose
I love the sun and take any opportunity to be in the sun
I’ve spent the day feeling tired and lethargic
Slept most of today away
Felt guilty for doing nothing
I have spent the day feeling like I don’t have a purpose.
What you can’t see...
My unwashed unkempt hair
My tired worn out eyes
My bad skin from stress and not looking after myself
So instead of doing what I like to relax I have spent the day literally doing nothing. Not talking to anyone. Not eating properly if at all. Because I feel too guilty doing relaxing things so I sit and do nothing.
Notice the sun shining through, it is probably a lovely day out. Normally I would love to be in it. But today I just don’t have the energy to do anything.
So depression isn’t always noticeable. It isn’t always crying and feeling sad. Sometimes you feel nothing. Sometimes you smile. Look behind the smiles of the ones you love. Look for changes and give them a nudge or the support they may need. It’s not always what it seems. See what is out of character for them and love them harder.
Trying to change the views of what people think it is and spread awareness. That’s about all I can do today.
Today I existed.
And sometimes that’s the best you can do.
