hi yall, i'm starting this page just to talk about my book, never love an anchor! it's fanfiction canon backstory for a character i created in my friend's dnd campaign.
it follows malyk and ro'a, childhood lovers who drift apart after a traumatic loss and find each other when the time is right. i started their story as shorts to give malyk depth and quickly fell in love with them and here we are :)
and yes, the title is inspired by crane wives' song which very accurately shows the relationship between these little guys. you can listen to it here. it's also on their playlist, which i will be dropping shortly and frequently updating!
if you'd like to hear abt updates, sneak peeks, as well as my general thoughts as i descend into this fixation then please do follow!
"The intimacy lingered with a promise of ephemerality and it meant more to know this would not last long. The fragility of their contentment was reason enough to tighten their grasp– a silent plea for an exception. Maybe things could be different this time. Maybe they would not have to end."
book is currently at 214 pages ! I still have much to write but i am nearing the end.
im currently looking into a variety of self publishing options, many of which restrict where my else my work can be posted (thanks a lot amazon) , hence the lack of real snippets!
that and, well, spoilers. but more to come soon !
this lil project means so much to me :) yawl got no idea
"How beautiful it would be, she thought, to belong everywhere. To look around the world and find new places to plant her roots in. How beautiful it would be to share this with someone else- someone who understood her passion, someone she could share her love with. To feel what she felt, and to live and die with."
Ro'a Sìltsan, a water genasi born in Sweyn, shares her friend Malyk's desire to explore the unknown. Ro'a is gentle, caring; her kindness is often her greatest strength and weakness. She cares for those she loves deeply and strives to do what she can to improve the lives of those around her. Her loss only deepens her love for the world as she begins to search for where she belongs. She strives to do the right thing for others as well as herself- even if that means making the hard decisions.
"so this is love / so this is what makes life divine / i'm all aglow,"
the avatar's love
can't imagine :
"i can't imagine what a world would be / without you / all the birds would stop their songs / without you / all the things right would feel so wrong"
we'll never have sex :
"oh, you kissed me just to kiss me / not to make me cry / it was simple, you are sweetness / let's just sit a while"
valentine, texas :
"let's drive out to where dust devils are made / by dancing ghosts as they kick up clouds of sand"
as the world caves in :
"and as the earth burns to the ground / oh boy, it's you that i lie with"
skyfall :
"where you go, i go / what you see, i see / i know i'd never be me / without the security / of your loving arms / keeping me from harm"
two slow dancers :
"it would be a hundred times easier / if we were young again / but as it is / and it is / we're just two slow dancers, last ones out
wasteland, baby! :
"and the day that we'll watch the death of the sun / that the cloud and the cold and those jeans i have on / then you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs / wasteland. baby / i'm in love / i'm in love with you"
lonesome love :
"why am i lonely for lonesome love?"
cherry wine :
"oh but she loves / lie sleep to the freezing / sweet and right and merciful / i'm all but washed / in the tide of her breathing / and it's worth it, it's divine / i have this some of the time"
first love/late spring :
"so please hurry leave me / i can't breathe / please don't say you love me / 胸がはち切れそうで / one word from you and i would / jump off of this / ledge i'm on / baby / tell me don't / so i can / crawl back in"
i bet on losing dogs :
"i know they're losing and i'll pay for my place / by the ring / where i'll be looking in their eyes when they're down / i wanna feel it / i bet on losing dogs / i always want you when i'm finally fine"
nine lives :
"cats have nine lives, i have three / i gave all to you, saved none for me / it's true, it's true / screw the timeline, i lost track / was it really me who had my bags all packed up first? / guess i'm giving up again"
bag of bones :
"mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight? / i'm tired of this searching, would you let me go? / and i can take a little bit more / let's shake this poet out of the beast"
it's over isn't it :
"Isn't it over? / you won, and she chose you / and she loves you and she's gone / it's over, isn't it? / why can't i move on?"
nothings new :
"and won't you please call it, if our time is through? / 'cause i know that we fall apart, when nothing's new / nothing's new"
tongues & teeth :
"and when you come in quick to steal a kiss / my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear / and i know that you mean so well / but i am not a vessel for your good intent"
star :
"that love is like a star / it's gone, we just see it shinin' / it's traveled very far, i'll / keep a leftover light / burnin' so you can keep lookin' up / isn't that worth holdin' on? / you know i'd always been alone / 'til you taught me / to live for somebody"
ultimately :
"i think i'm better when i'm with you / but i worry when you're gone / i think i need to learn to love myself / i must learn to be strong / so for now we'll say goodbye / although it pains me in my heart"
never love an anchor :
"on some level, i think i always understood / that a ship could never really love an anchor. / so, i did the only thing that i could / and severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor”
night shift :
“now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young / take back what you said / can't lose what you never had / i feel no need to forgive but i might as well / but let me kiss your lips so i know how it felt”
easier :
"if you woke and i was gone / from the house that we made our home / would it bend you, break you, overtake your heart / like it did my own? / and if i were someplace else, would this be easier?"
absence :
“if i just vanished, do you think you'd manage? / or would you disappear right beside me? / do you think you're ready when/ i go unsteady? / lover, please prepare for my absence”
thick skull :
“only i know where all the bodies are buried / thought by now i'd find 'em just a little less scary / might get easier but you don't get used to it / keep on autopilot, hey, hey / what's the body count up to now, captain?”
the moon will sing :
"the moon will sing a song for me / i loved you like the sun / bore the shadows that you made / with no light of my own / i shine only with the light you gave me"
i'm your man :
"i'm sorry i'm the one you love / no one will ever love me like you again / so, when you leave me, i should die / i deserve it, don't i?"
learning to hate you as a self defense mechanism :
"but when i saw you both, with your shoulders touching / sitting so close/ i knew i'd hold on to this feeling / i'd hold on to anything at all / was it my fault? / because i easily confused you / for someone who would hold my hand / when things got hard, when things got dark"
cornerstone :
"i'm worried i'll forget your face / and i've asked everyone / i'm beginning to think i imagined you all along / i elongated my lift home / yeah, i let him go the long way 'round / i smelt your scent on the seatbelt / and kept my shortcuts to myself”
love is a laserquest :
"and do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you're there? / or have somebody's goodnight kisses got that covered? / when i'm not being honest, i pretend that you were just some lover / now i can't think of there without thinking of you / i doubt that comes as a surprise"
once more to see you :
"if you would let me give you pinky promise kisses / then i wouldn't have to scream your name / atop of every roof in the city of my heart / if i could see you / once more to see you”
cellophane :
“didn't i do it for you? / why don't i do it for you? / why won't you do it for me? / when all i do is for you?”
all i wanted :
“i could follow you to the beginning / just to relive the start / and maybe then we'd remember to slow down / at all of our favorite parts / all i wanted was you”
i don't smoke :
“i'm what's left of when we / swam under the moon / now the rest of my days are just / waiting for when / you come down and tell me / i was meant for you, baby"
moon song :
"so i will wait for the next time you want me / like a dog with a bird at your door"
francis forever :
"i don't think i could stand to be / where you don't see me / on sunny days i go out walking / i end up on a tree-lined street / i look up at the gaps of sunlight / i miss you more than anything”
the deal :
"i want someone to take this soul / i can't bear to keep it, i'd give it just to give / and all i will take are the consequences / will somebody take this soul?"
i want you :
“you're coming back / and it's the end of the world / we're starting over and i love you darlin' / and i am done, dear”
ribs :
"the dark doesn't frighten me / i chose to close my eyes / it is mine, it is mine / the night doesn't frighten me / i chose to let it thrive / it is mine, it is mine"
pink in the night :
“i could stare at your back all day / and i know i've kissed you before, but / i didn't do it right / can i try again, try again, try again”
a night to remember :
"underneath the sheets / you enchanted me / and whispered sweet nothings in my ear / i shivered beneath you / all wrapped up in embers / it was a night to remember"
heaven :
"and the dark awaits us / all around the corner / but here in our place / we havе for the day / can we stay awhile and listеn for / heaven”
bewitched :
"you bewitch me / every damn second you're with me / i try to think straight but i'm falling so badly"
nocturne (interlude)
always been you :
"it's always been you / and you've seen all my darkest fears / like you've known me for a thousand years / the boy who's really underneath / all the scars and insecurities, baby / i swear that you've been sent to save me / you're the only one my heart keeps coming back to”
my love mine all mine :
"nothing in the world belongs to me / but my love, mine, all mine, all mine / my baby here on earth showed me what my heart was worth"
unraveling :
"but now my love is gone / and i am left unraveling / unraveling"
fun fact i am a HUGE totally normal fan of avatar, so many of the names for people and places in my book are in na'vi! i'll be updating this list as i continue to add more lore :)
side note : not everyone's name means something (ex i just really loved the name malyk) but if it has one, it'll be here!
these meanings *can* be considered spoilers for what is ahead for the characters but im putting them here anyways, continue at ur own risk i guess??
"On some level, I think I always understood
that a ship could never really love an anchor.
So, I did the only thing that I could
and severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor.”
Born to parents Tisay and Yuey in the undersea village of Sweyn, Malyk is a water genasi and druid. She holds a natural curiosity for the world around her that often led her to exploring by herself as a child, worrying her parents as she disappeared for hours at a time. Malyk is headstrong, confident, and impulsive, often looking to others around her for a voice of reason. Despite the loss she has suffered in her life, she continues on, albeit begrudgingly. Her love for Ro'a- as well as the friends she unexpectedly made in her explorations- give her a reason to keep going.
