静炎の騎士

All your sorrow, tears, and experiences Will guide you towards your SMILE, So gather them all in your arms and hold them CLOSE {Independent Hijirikawa Masato RP Blog from Uta no Prince Sama} Image Credit

[seixn]

( Ren ):

@seixn​

      typically, ren wouldn’t wake up earlier than masato unless his schedule forced him to. but an special occasion like this one was probably the main reason why he would do so. carefully moving from the bed, avoiding any possible noise or moving masato in the wrong way considering his light sleep, his own feet moved in direction to the kitchen decided to spend hours there if necessary. he made sure to take his time, closely selecting his ingredients and trying to convey his own emotions on his cooking– or rather baking.

      a smile slipping here and there, his hands graciously moving as he prepared his mix with all the care in the world. head filled with blissful thoughts and beloved memories, taking his time to also appreciate all the moments together that they have spent up until now. it was great to wake up every morning and see him at the other side of the bed. because it always him and only him, the main reason why jinguji ren would wake up in the middle of the night to have everything perfectly calculated. he knew his schedule, he could read him like the palm of his hand. and as the time passed, he could smell the scent of the freshly baked melon pan. 

     knowing that it was almost time for him to wake up. ren finished with his preparations, clean the kitchen as fast as he could and placed a small candle on top of one of the buns. the plate beautifully decorated with syrup as he coordinated not to touch the bread as after all, he learnt the recipe just for this day. and taking his creation in his hands, he directed himself towards the room getting closer to the pianist. “i have a special surprise for you this year.” he mumbled before leaning in, bringing the freshly baked melon pan as masato’s own personalized breakfast and placing a soft kiss to his forehead. 

      “happy birthday, my prince~” 

            When he woke up, it was to the muffled sound of water running and a sweet scent filling the room. Usually, he woke up easily with the ring of his alarm, but when he did not feel the vibrations of it or hear the ringing in his ears, he knew he could stay in bed undisturbed, just a little longer. When his mind caught up to his senses, he reassured himself further, snuggling into his pillow and the sheets, knowing Ren would have woken him up if he had to leave. That’s all he could think of before his consciousness went back to drifting in between sleep and the present. Something smelled sweet, he notes again, and he can’t put his hand on what it is. It smelled like sweet cookies, a warming scent that had him hum softly as his cheek buried itself further under the blanket.

            Did he sleep late last night? Maybe he did. There were a lot of words exchanged, acts, things they wanted to do, reminders to be made and shown. Finally, they just slept exhaustedly.

            The door creaks open, and this time, he peels his eyes open, long lashes still brushing his cheek, tickling him as he struggles to move, push himself up and stare up dazedly at the ginger. It was rare to see him up so early and not dressed for work, and he was carrying something. A surprise? Oh, he’s not used to being the sleepy one in the morning. But it’s fine, isn’t it. Just for this one day. “Thank you,” he slips out breathlessly, voice still locked in his throat as they were his first words of the day. He slips forward, without shifting the tray, he leans close, hand rising to tug on his sleeve and lets gravity pull it down, telling him to sit on the edge of the bed.

            Hair a mess with his horrible sleeping posture and habits, what little of his clothes managed to stay on is slipping from movement, and he rubs the top of his head onto the other’s shoulder, face buried in his chest. Still half-asleep, that’s what it is. “Ren...” He wants his hands in his hair, and he tries to convey it through actions, showing the top of his head while he continues to keep his face against him, slowly slipping up to hang on in the crook of his neck. “Hot coffee... Black... I want some. Your drink too. Please...” Bring it all over so they can eat together, and stay here together.

            Masato still had more things to thank him for, still had to tell him how much he appreciates the gift, and he wants to eat what was given and he assumes was hand-made considering the warm, toasted scent in the air. But for now, he’s too comfortable and content in the lull of sleep and the sweeter smell coming from the ginger, the warmth too good compared to the cold morning winter air.

[seixn]

( Ren ):

        ah. maybe his joke was going too far for masato to handle, but the ginger couldn’t help laughing at such OVERDRAMATIC reaction. some things definitely never changed, and the mere idea of thinking about masato freaking out was honestly hilarious even if hew knew he would cause him ETERNAL panic. “my, my. just because i enjoy a good tiramisu from time to time my diet is automatically bad?” ren did take good care of his health, in fact he could even be considered underweighted according to his height but he did not escape from a guilty pleasure like a bag of chips from time to time. he thought he deserved it, a way to thank himself for the hard work. or at least he saw it that way, because the idol was aware it was pretty much a WHIM than anything else.

      as well, he did took quite pleasure in bother him about their relationship mostly because masato always gave him the same answer. ‘why rushing?’, even though it was a joke just to see him exasparated it still contained half of the truth. but was he the one to blame? ren has been in love with masato for 18 years or so, wanting to put a ring to his finger in front of family and friends was something he has been dreaming of for years. “masato, it’s been three years since we got engaged.” he answered, laughing softly as he got closer to the pianist and held him tenderly. “or are you just waiting for me to turn 30, is that it? because that’s soon too.” and he wouldn’t admit that he was a little bit concerned about his age. he was young not so long ago and it felt like yesterday, but looking back at his trajectory as idol he knew that he wasn’t just what he used to be. but he brushed out that thought from his head and decided to press another kiss to his forehead.

      “it’s another joke, honey.” oblivious as always. “we’ll do it whenever you are ready, okay? i got to share bed with you and convinced you to keep living with me, and that makes me the happiest man alive.”

          It was exactly because he knew Ren wouldn’t say anything regarding their relationship and status without meaning it, even if it was used as a joke, that he had to ask him. He wanted to know, because even years before when they were still starting to reform their friendship and then opening up to each other, the ginger had already been all in, suggesting marriage and a long life with him. He really loved that genuine part of him, that despite appearances and the character made in front of the camera, it was known to anyone who decided to listen to his words how serious he was and his kindness, even if he tried to hide it in embarrassment. Even now, he shows hints of his worries, and then immediately pulls back and tries to shrug it off with some distraction or another.

            “You really can’t be honest even after all these years, huh?”

          His fingers rested beneath his chin, and he pulls his face down to peck his lips, staring at him long and hard, wondering what was going through the ginger’s mind now. “Three years... Is rather long.” He’s genuinely not sure how long engagements were supposed to be, considering the only time he had anything to do with one before this was his own as a child. He had given it no thought, hadn’t even been excited or met the girl, now probably woman, more than a few times. That had lasted years, but he supposes these two didn’t have any similarities as neither party were putting in much effort. He and Ren were already living together, spending their time with each other and he knows he’s being spoiled by the older man again; waiting for him instead of pushing him forward. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if he did...

          “... I know I said we should get married when we were less busy.” He starts, and he lets his fingers move up from his chin to his cheek, caressing it tenderly. “But at this rate, it seems work will never stop. Although it’s something to be thankful for, I don’t want to make you wait either. So, I’ll take it back.” Gently, he pinches his cheek as a playful punishment before letting go. “Don’t call it a joke. I want to marry you. It’s been said years ago and many times in our time alone. If you want something, then say it. If you want to get married now, say so. If you say it now, I’ll say ‘yes’. Why is it that you can nag and whine for some things so easily, yet when it comes to these important things, you always start pulling back the moment I question you about it. I don’t know whether to take it seriously or let it pass as a joke.” Then, he gives a soft hum. “Or, are you waiting for me to ask you?”

[seixn]

( Ren )​:

@seixn​ / x

        from the very start there was no wrinkle, and just by seeing masato’s face he could tell that so much was going through his head. he was probably panicking, looking serious in the outside but forcing himself not to frown as it would make the ‘wrinkle’ worse. it was hilarious at most, and he was holding back the chuckle that threatened to come out. but it didn’t take him too long to realize he didn’t want to take the joke that far, however he did decide to continue with his teasing. “so, so… big. oh masa, that wrinkle over there.” he paused dramatically, making a sad face on purpose as if he was trying to show pity.

        “that wrinkle represents your ugliness! inexistent.” and that was enough for him to finally let out the chuckle as he got closer and placed a kiss on top of his forehead. “i’m lying, babe. there’s no wrinkle. just that beautiful mole over your eye and soft, beautiful and pale skin. no need to worry, you look as handsome and young as when you were in high school.” which wasn’t a lie, masato’s genes seemed to devour the years because all of them looked young. even masaomi but he wasn’t going to mention him for obvious reasons. still ren believed they were young, but the industry sometimes could be cruel and he knew any particular change in their faces might cost their careers. “oh, sorry. i didn’t want to make you feel self-conscious.” he mumbled, cupping his face with both of his hands before giving him a quick peck on his lips. “your beauty is eternal, and i’m thankful to wake up next to such work of art everyday. ah~ i’m feeling infatuated now, we should get marry now, right here~”

        Here he was, thinking hard about this problem the ginger pointed out, even to the point he was thinking of Ichinose and Ittoki, and how to involve them without making a scene, and he sees that teasing look. He catches it, only just barely, and within the mess of his thoughts and lack of doubt towards the other, he almost believes it was his mistake. Only, Ren’s words were getting a bit too pointed to not be a joke, and that wasn’t part of their relationship anymore. Then, the pure drama in his words as he continued already had his face freeze and his lips part, realizing he was, without a doubt, lying. Masato stays still, or is made to stay completely frozen for a minute, trying to push away the thoughts he previously had before he could move and...

        A loud smack to the ginger’s chest, huffing loudly with a frown on his face. “Ren!” He shouts rather loudly, but the anger in his voice subsides because of how much the older man continued to smother him with an apology and other compliments. He really, really hates how he can’t get mad at him anymore, but he is also glad of it, but knows that it was because Ren never did anything to really upset him these days, and he appreciates the touch and reassurance as well.

        “You should learn what to joke about and what not to.” His voice is a little husky with how low it was, exasperated and honestly just not sure how to react anymore. So, he takes it out by poking Ren in between his brows, choosing the exact same spot the other had touched earlier. “I take care of my skin and am careful of what I eat. The day I get a wrinkle, I wonder how many you’ll have with your diet.” There’s a pout on his lips as he leans in, pressing his side against the others. “... We’re engaged.” He starts, then tilts his head. “We can get married... Whenever we want.” He uses the finger once poking his forehead to tickle beneath his chin, drawing the line of his jaw. “You’re always saying how you want to get married right away so casually... I also want to, but is there a reason to rush?”

[seixn]

Casually stares for a very long time, on purpose, trying to add mystery to it as he finally opened his mouth to speak. "Is that a wrinkle I'm seeing there?" Ren murmured in his usual playful tone, index finger pointing at his forehead. There was no wrinkle at all, just ethereal beauty but the idol just felt today was a "Tease Masato Day".

@hancfubuki

He was staring too much.

Actually, it was a very common occurrence for the ginger to continue staring at him, but usually, his expression was a bit more... Different. Loving, teasing, branching from those two. Now, he was looking at him with a blank stare, and Masato braces himself for some surprising claim, or a tease, only to feel his finger poke at his forehead.

“Wrinkle...?”

This time he frowns, then quickly stops himself because he didn’t want to worsen it if that was really there. What... should he do? He personally didn’t care too much, it wasn’t as if he was that young anymore and a few wrinkles should be normal for his age. But as an idol? As an actor? Was it alright? Maybe it would be a part of him to add to his roles, but he’s still too young to act such roles. Should he call Ichinose and ask him what to do? He probably knew best how to fix problems like this, skincare being one of the things he was well versed in. No, if it’s Ichinose, he might know the answer but would freak out, possibly. Should he be telling Ittoki? To send the message? Or...

“Is it bad?” He finally decides to ask Ren instead, lips frowning a little as he tries not to wrinkle the skin between his brows anymore, which only gave him a weirdly disoriented look on his face.

[seixn]

" MAAAAAA-SAAAAAAAAAAA-TOOO!" Tomochika yelled from the top of her lungs before the blue-haired idol was brought into a sudden embrace. "Hiya! I've missed you!"

        ?!!

        As soon as her voice reached his ears, and he saw the running figure, his arms had opened instinctively to catch the blurred red figure, arms wrapped around the other tightly so neither of them fell to the ground. “Shibuya, I have missed you too.” And he slowly lets his arms fall. “You’re as full of energy as always.” He uses a lightly teasing tone, but the ends of his lips tilt up, a warmer look on his face.

        “However.” Then, he starts. “I just came out of practice so I’m not very clean. It’s best not to get too close.”

[seixn]

( Ren ):

           “don’t know~ maybe you will change your mind.” with a teasing tone, he softly touched the tip of his nose with his index finger. a cocky smile showing up from the corner of his lips as he noticed how the pianist was slowly getting closer, holding his hand. at this moment, he just felt like teasing as he knew pretty well that asking for a break wouldn’t be an issue for neither of them. but still, he felt like he had the right to tease him a little like the old times. oh, the bickering! something that he truly didn’t miss at all. to think that it was just their way to get closer to each other, how immature they used to be. 

           though, before he could continue with his nerve-wrecking jokes, he was abruptly silenced by masato’s lips. and of course he didn’t complain about it, instead he gladly responded to the kiss and started to slowly deepen it as well as masato did. “my, my~ someone is a little impatience today.” he managed to say between kisses, his hands moving to reach for his body and pull him closer than before. he really adored when masato started acting this way, call him needy or anything, it was an act that completely drove him crazy. 

          “sure i can. now, though? i believed we were just getting started.” a soft pouting voice coming from him, but he didn’t hesitate in getting closer again, hungrily looking for his lips as a few giggles fled away. finally letting his arms resting over his shoulders, his fingers were to playfully mess with the blue locks. “your hair feels longer.” he mumbled softly, pressing his forehand against his, staring at him with tenderness. “hmm~ still as stunning as always.”

              Masato gave a purse of his lips, shaking his head lightly as he moved closer. “I’m not going to change my mind.” At least, he can clearly state that this side of him was influenced by the ginger. Be it an innate part of him that he had suppressed or something he had come to learn by living with him, sometimes he considers it age- he was definitely more relaxed. A few wrongdoings slipped by, taking a break for personal reasons finally registered as something necessary, and he was slowly starting to accept that he didn’t always have to stop himself from doing something simply because it sounded fruitless as long as he wanted to do it. He did. He wanted to go out and travel, do something together again. This time, without involving cameras chasing them around.

              A pleased sigh breathes out of his lips as he feels the other’s hand touch him, held him and pulled him close. Impatient... Maybe he was. It feels like forever since they last had time to give more than a few fluttering kisses as they left at random hours of the day or night for work. “Are you not impatient to touch me too?” There’s an upset tone to his voice, but his word choices and the upwards curve of a smile on his lips as he moves his kisses lower to his neck says otherwise. He comes back, takes his lower lip in between his teeth and bites hard enough as if was punishing him, but not enough to cause more than a numb sting. “I thought that was your attempt at seducing me.”

              “Not now. I was just planning ahead,” he murmurs as he kisses him once, again, and again, until he heard those giggles he missed, and he pauses because he wants to listen to them, purple eyes staring at the signs of laughter on his face, humming softly as Ren’s fingers played with his hair. “Does it?” He pulls back a little, just enough to slip one of his hands up and pinch a few strands of his hair, pulling it out until it slips out of his grip, eyes narrowed to watch. “It’s been a while since I cut it. Should I go have it trimmed?” Then, as he finishes speaking, he slips his hair behind his ear, his hair too straight that a few strands slips out anyways. “However-”

              “You seemed to like it when I do this.”

              He leans forward, face close to the ginger’s as their noses bump, and his head tilts so he can kiss him again, one of his hands slipping under his shirt, with a little patience left to stay holding his waist, his thumb drawing lazy circles on his stomach. “

[seixn]

( Ren )​:

         nowadays, he barely had any presentations as an idol. it took him a few years, but he was able to become a producer and he was working on his own projects as well. he still wished to open his own agency as one of his dreams was to become like shining ( unironically ), and were things that he wanted to work with step by step. still, he could be seen in his office sometimes wandering in his thoughts because the LONELINESS would always DISTRACT him. still, it was a behavior normal on ren, since a very young age he would get lonely for no reason and as it was mentioned before, he at least LEARNT how to control it, even if he used to dedicate time to very self-destructive practices. right now wasn’t the case.

           his life was INCREASINGLY getting better through the years. he was able to get EVERYTHING he ever wanted and he was so cheesy enough to say that it was thanks to masato getting back in his life. it still felt so SURREAL, at times when he was alone working and remembered that masato was actually his romantic partner, he could be seen smiling like an idiot. not to mention that he already moved on from the whole idea that he was unable to love. sure, a whole NEW world was open to him with so many possibilities to be happy and he, for sure, was enjoying every single second of it. but of course, there must be balance and in this case, they had to pay with their time due the life both of them CHOSE. 

           and t didn’t take him long to PREDICT masato’s movements, letting out a chuckle and feeling TEMPTED to lick his finger when it was laced over his lips. adorable and strict as always, showing DOMINANCE in a way only masato could do.”alright, dinner first.” he mumbled as he happily accepted the kiss that was offered. though, masato did have a point and of course if he didn’t actually check on ren’s actions he would probably go and cry the producers about letting masato have days off, or probably just paying for them as it was the EASIEST way. “should i record this to have it as a backup?” he teased, knowing better than anyone that they couldn’t really make plan due their HECTIC and fast-paced surprise schedule.

             he gladly took the second kiss, this time with his own hand cupping on masato’s cheek. ”you.” cheeky and straight-forward, as always. “just kidding, you are of course the dessert, babe~” another kiss was pressed on masato’s lips, but this time it was ren taking the initiative. “italian food is always an option.”

            “Why record it?” Ren may be impulsive, but Masato would plan his way thoroughly and get what he wants. He doesn’t need to worry, because he’ll also pull the strings behind the scenes so the producers and staff are prepared to handle Ren or him coming in and asking for a sudden break. If they can stop their family’s army and their melon pan war from behind the shadows, they can convince a few common people. There’s no change to the fact that that he has been brought up to be a leader even if he has left that part of his life behind.

            Masato gives a straight face at his reply. There he goes, teasing and acting cheeky despite knowing that he was simply playing with fire. Then again, he probably shouldn’t be surprised. Ren was the type to jump into things if it seemed interesting, and maybe that shows up in the smaller things too. Added with a kiss from the other, he felt a wave of affection and perches his hands down, curving his back like a cat as he leans forward, head tilted up and one hand slipping over the covers till he found Ren’s hand.

            He heard the other speak, but he didn’t care. Masato closed his lips on the ginger’s again, the hand on his slipping up to his elbow, then his upper arm, tugging him forward so they were closer. “Why must it be a joke?” He lifts his other hand as well and grabs his arms on both sides, holding him tightly in place as he nibbles on his upper lip, tongue slipping in and urging him to give in and return the gesture. “I changed my mind.”

            “‘You’ first.”

            At least, he didn’t think he was all that hungry yet. Maybe just a little bit, but he couldn’t help himself as he draws a finger down the line of his jaw and tips the other’s chin, deepening the kiss. “We can eat anything you like. Will you drive us there?” He wasn’t feeling picky today, and Italian sounded perfectly fine. Ren could be the appetizer or something of the sort.

[seixn]

( Mai )​:

@seixn​

          “onii-sama! i love you!” 

         “I love you too, Mai.”

[seixn]

( Ren )​:

            “hmm i don’t know~ you are such a mysterious person.” he mused at the question, chuckling softly while he continued with his affections. it was one of those days in which he felt EXTREMELY clingy than usual, even though it was something CHARACTERISTIC of ren, or at least what others could notice behind closed doors. now, at the mention of retirement he couldn’t help but laugh a little. they were young, for sure but the entertainment business sometimes was CRUEL and he was aware that probably they were seen as veterans already. which they were, it was a fact he couldn’t deny but it was funny to remember how excited they used to be when quartet night helped them and probably new generations of idols saw them the same way. 

            as his shirt was tugged, he understood the first time and simply leaned against him. snuggling over his chest with a soft smile blossoming from the corners of his lips. “don’t be. i know you are busy, besides i do get lonely often.” a statement hard to admit, but it was something that he learnt to understand through the years. besides, in that time his feelings of loneliness were >UNBEARABLE, so this time it was actually something he could handle considering that there was, for sure, someone waiting for him at home. it was something that reassured him over YEARS by now, and hoped that there were still DECADES to come, as masato said before. “you make me sound so needy, though… well, i guess i am.” he let out a sigh, closing his eyes as he made himself comfortable on masato’s arms. “how do you feel about having dinner out tonight? i was planning to cook, but we barely have time these days to spend time together.”

            a date, he meant. because he was still a HOPELESS romantic even if he didn’t like to admit it. besides, spending quality time with masato was something that he truly needed these days, especially with the amount of work they have been presented with. “let’s have a date like the old times~” something way too fancy and extravagant for everyone’s taste, probably. and it didn’t take him long again to squish against him, forgetting completely what personal space was ( not that he cared to begin with ). “or maybe we can ask for a few days of vacations and go somewhere else. what do you think about that? i think i like that idea better.”

          They were without a doubt, veterans in terms of being idols. However, Masato genuinely felt there was much to learn as an actor, and there must be something out there he has yet to experience. Age aside, he still was at an age where he wanted to try everything, take on a challenge or two because he still had the energy and spirit to do so.

          It didn’t make the fact that their time was taken in bulks any less true, however. They were very busy, always leaving at odd hours and coming home after dark, occasionally coming back in the early morning as the sun rose from the horizon, shades pulled, and falling right to sleep. It wasn’t a regulated schedule or lifestyle, but it wasn’t horrid. But the same as Ren, he did occasionally feel lonely. He could forget it while he buried himself in work, but those sudden moments when he raises his head from his script, and he smells the scent of his perfume or sees something tasty while walking by the street on the way to the studio, the first one that came upon his mind would be Ren and how he’d love to share this with him. Then, he would feel bitter loneliness as he couldn’t see him right away. So, he understood. However, he didn’t want to let go of what he had now either.

          “Calm down and let me speak.”

          Bombarded with all these suggestions and questions, he presses his fingers to his lips to make him stop so he could answer before he speaks again, because with how the conversation was moving, it was obvious the ginger would start changing their schedules if left alone. However, as soon as his fingers touched, his eyes flickered down, then up at his eyes. “... Dinner first.” His fingers slip down to his chin, and he leans in, kissing him tenderly, keeping his lips pressed to his. “We can get a vacation together at the end of the month.” At least to prevent the producers from crying, and it matches their actual anniversary date.

          Just because, for no reason at all, he leans in and kisses him again, flicking his tongue on his lower lip. “What do you want for dinner?”

[seixn]

( Ren )​:

@seixn​

         “look at me.” a sweet mumble left his lips while his hand slowly reached for his cheek. with such DELICACY, his palm cupped his face to softly make him look in his direction. blue hues staring at purple with a SWEET smile gracing his face. and what could be the reason? you might ask. it was simple, normal people would celebrate anniversaries once a year, but for ren it was such an IMPORTANT event he celebrated it for a WHOLE month. and well– he actually never asked masato if he was comfortable with the idea but truth to be told, their relationship has been so STABLE by now that it almost feels like they CELEBRATE every day the fact that they are now together. “do you still love me even though i’m getting old?” a chuckle escaped followed a smile that never left his face leaning into masato until their foreheads were pressed together. 

           “it’s been five… six years? hmm~ i already lost track of time~” a kiss, onto his cheek. “and our special date is also coming soon~ i have so many things prepared for this year.” another kiss over his other cheek. “even though you don’t like when i do extravagant plans for us.” a third kiss, this time on his forehead. “but i can’t help getting excited every year.” one kiss more, this time over the tip of his nose. “i’m just… so lucky~” and it seemed like this time he was going for his lips, but instead he started rubbing his cheek against his, being the clingy being he usually is  in the commodity of their house.

            “don’t leave me alone anymore. we should just retire, adopt a dog and move wherever you want.”

          When a large hand cups over one side of his face, he gives no resistance as his gaze is moved towards ginger hair and eyes as blue as the sea. So, he silently stares, a usually cold-looking gaze softened as he sees a smile, a questioning little hum leaving his lips as he rubs his cheek against his palm.

          “Do I seem like a person who would quietly let someone I do not love touch me so intimately?” His words, albeit lined in a way such that it sounds like mockery, his tone however held his true feelings; Simply, to tease. Because despite their lack of fights, there was still this lingering essence of competitiveness that merely showed in a more affectionate gesture nowadays- no, these past few years. He was getting soft.

          Purple eyes hide behind closed lids as their foreheads touch, and he basks in the affection he gives him, the warm touch of his lips urging a hum out of his throat, tilting his head into his touch. “It’s only been a few years. Isn’t it a little too early to lose count? We still have decades to count towards.” As his eyes open, he lifts his hand and delicately touches his cheek with the tips of his fingers, moving up and raking his hair back, taking a good look at his face. He was all excited again, and although he could hear the knocking on the back of his mind, it was mild and ignorable compared to the expression he earned by letting him be. He relents. If it makes him happy to do it, he supposes there’s no reason to stop him. Besides, he can always speak up if he really hated it, and he trusted Ren not to do that to him on purpose any longer.

          “I-..t hurts to breathe.” Squashed by a face all of a sudden along with his body considering their close proximity, he pats him on the back before tugging gently on his shirt. “We’re too young to retire,” he replies as he pries the other off for a bit of room to breathe, leaning in to leave a kiss on his cheek to calm him down. A warm smile graces his lips and affection filled his eyes.

           “I’m sorry for making you feel lonely.” Here, he’ll open his arms and offer him to hug or cling if he wants to. “I’m here right now.” He’s in the mood to spoil, or maybe he just missed him a lot more than he admits.

[seixn]

(‌ This man can’t clean up after himself ):

             “i was so depressed you weren’t here that i couldn’t clean.”

            “Stop making excuses and help clean up.” Knocks top of his head lightly.

[seixn]

            “It’s so messy around here.” Picking stuff up from the ground.

[decadentintegrity]

So, sad news.

My computer, specifically my windows program, decided to self-erupt and I had no back-up files for anything on my PC. Hence, I am now iconless and don’t remember if I ever uploaded them anywhere (most likely not).

I’m kind of just blurred out because it’s finals week and I’m too busy to even panic, but in short: I lost all my files and programs, I lost all the icons I made since I was 12, I lost all the wips of writing I’ve ever done, I’ve lost every one of my school material and lost save files for things that might no longer exist on the internet because they’re old.

I’m too busy to write from finals obviously but I don’t know how I feel about remaking all the icons I lost, which may have added up to more than thousands with the vast amount I had. I’ll come back and write simply bc I really do love writing, but it’s just too much to think about all the things that are now lost in the void. iconless rping here I go.

[jupiter-e-no-chikai]

Visit Original Link

Please support the original release if you can!

[seixn]

(‌ Ren ):

             for how long is this going to continue? he wondered that so many times, a RECURRENT thought that started wandering in his mind from the beginning of this STRANGE relationship. he also wondered if it was ALRIGHT for them to be together. were they a good match? he was starting to doubt it, as whenever he made a movement a situation like this happened. at this moment, ren didn’t know how to react. there were a lot of emotions trapped within his head, but he couldn’t exactly let them out one by one, the only emotion that seemed to NATURALLY flow was the anger that boiled through his veins whenever this happened. but at this point, he didn’t know what to do anymore, or what to think. masato was really something else, an ENIGMA that he was unable to decipher and one that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to understand. some people and things were better without anyone trying to read them further, and maybe, masato was simply just one of them.

             when he was pushed away, he could feel his heart ACHING for a few seconds. confusion along with mild anger were starting to appear, but he was able to HOLD it as he didn’t want to cause another scene. it was impossible, at least that’s what he thought. but it was also impossible to get AWAY from him. he was a MASOCHIST, that was for sure, because despite of how confused masato made him feel he couldn’t stop thinking about him. he had this awful NEED to stick with him, even though this wasn’t working at all. that’s why, his blue eyes traveled all the way to fix on masato’s position, examining and trying to find a VALID reason to understand why he was acting this way. perhaps he was just too IMPULSIVE with his desires that he was unconsciously pushing the president away. but was he at fault? this was him, feeling COMFORTABLE with the other, it was him TRUSTING the younger student and acting as he would normally do, without MASKS. but yeah, that was the problem.

             there was no mask at all over his face, and it was troublesome. if it were another person, ren wouldn’t doubt in acting interested when he really was not. he could be suave, flirty and confident. but with masato, this was simply IMPOSSIBLE. he tried to act suave but it didn’t work, he was flirty most of the times but he was starting to feel NERVOUS about his own actions. he didn’t have confidence in himself and he was SCARED to mess it up as he has been doing for the past few weeks. masato was definitely getting on his VULNERABLE side, and he wasn’t sure if this was what he REALLY wanted. to be known, it sounded hard. it sounded like something really hard to do, mostly because he always had the idea in his head that he as an unlovable person. he was loved and wanted when he acted as if nothing mattered, but deep inside he was someone with really self-esteem problems, someone who believes he is not able to find love, and someone who is mostly SCARED of being alone for the rest of his life. he acts like a lone wolf who enjoys to be solitary, but the truth is, that he feels terribly ALONE, and it’s the feeling he hates the most.

              without any warning, his hand moved by reflex trying to hold onto masato’s arm, luckily, he got to grip his arm. “don’t.” don’t what? he was FROZEN, something that almost NEVER happened. ren, the one who was the ‘best’ with words, frozen here over a simple apology. what a shame, this really wasn’t him. or worse, this was actually him. disgusting, he is getting to know the real jinnomikado ren. “why are you apologizing for? i should be the one doing so.” goddamn idiot. he snored, letting go of his arm and just pushing himself over him, taking the other into a hug.

                “i’m really tired of this. of us… not working at all. but i don’t know if we are even trying.” he let out a sigh, hugging him harder than before. “i know i’m not the best at this, but i’m trying as well. and sometimes i forget that you’re not used to this, but whenever i see you i have the need to jump over you and not leaving you alone. unlike me, i know. or well, i should say it’s the real me. i’m really clingy, and i know that’s my problem. but i’m…” a pause as another sigh comes from the ginger’s nose. should he say his real thoughts? what if they keep scaring masato away? “i’m sorry, i just… i don’t want to be alone. please, don’t leave me alone. i need you, i wouldn’t know what to do without you. i know i seem a lone wolf, and i am. but this feeling of loneliness it’s horrible and it eats me from inside, but it disappears whenever you’re close to me. you’re the cure for all my sorrows, and i know it’s selfish on my end but, i really don’t want you away. you can’t go away. i can slow down, i will try to slow down. but i need some of your patience as well. i’m as new as you are, i don’t really know how it works but, i want to make it work. just for you, and me. for the sake of us.”

                The grip on his arm made him jump, and he turns his head almost violently back, getting hit by his own hair. The light sting is ignored because he’s not sure whether to panic and take his arm away and make a run for it or stay there, frozen to the ground as if he was chained to the spot, weighs in his shoes unable to move. The latter, as he did exactly that and his body refused to comply, taking one small step so he was facing the other, and slowly, taking one step so that he was standing in front of him.

                His words make him frown, though it was filled with confusion than anger, unable to decipher what he meant. Those were easy words, but in the current context it somehow made no sense, and he squints his eyes, furrowed brows and thinned lips, still jittery inside. “You don’t have to apologize.” Because Masato had been the one to say yes, he had agreed, and he had been completely willing. It was just that he had no idea how to react anymore, things got out of hand too much too fast.

                A gasp escapes him, and he tenses up when he’s held, hands in the air and losing its place, feeling his cheeks heat up and heart race before he slowly puts on hand to his back, giving a gentle pat. He couldn’t help himself, because as the other talks, he sounds so pained, so confused, and he realizes that maybe he was being too harsh. Why was he afraid of the other anyways? Many reasons, yes, but he wasn’t afraid of Ren, he was just afraid of himself and what he was doing. This should be something he dealt with, not being forced upon the other as if he was the problem; Especially when he directly told him to kiss him and gave him that chance. The other hand slowly slips out of his grasp, holding onto the back of his shirt as he takes a deep breath to relax, awkwardly leaning his face into his shoulder. He’s not that great, he wants to tell the other as he continues on, but that feels like an insult to the other’s feelings, so he gulps that back down, giving another gentle pat to his back, tilting his head down so his nose buried in the collar of his shirt. “I don’t know either. But I’d like it to work.” Neither of them were used to this, or had any idea, and maybe he needs to relax and open a bit more instead of keeping everything in his head.

                “I have a suggestion...” A very stupid one because just how horribly uncool can he get? But he really doesn’t think he can deal with Ren’s fast pace normally. He’ll be eaten whole if he does that, so step by step, like how one would teach someone new, he plans a more logical solution. “Once a week,” he starts, and then pauses to wonder if he should say a month, but decides that may be too long when he’s trying to challenge himself to move forward and work for this. “You can tell me to do one thing... Teach me something, or tell me one thing you want me to do. I’ll do it, no matter what.” He wants to die in shame and nerves because he has no idea what Jinnomikado Ren would ask of him, but this is his leap of faith again, trusting him not to ask for something impossible. “My only condition is that we’re both alone and somewhere that no one will find us. It can be anything, and if I’m okay with it...” Another deep breath, one that went all the way into the bottom of his lungs, and he lets it out very, very slowly. “Iwanttodoitagain...”

[seixn]

(‌ Ren ):

            his initial reaction was to CHUCKLE a little bit, while that remarkable smirk of his blossomed from the corners of his lips before curling up to kiss softly his cheek. “you’re not gonna say a word? oh~ c’mon, don’t tell me you’re mad at me for leaving you alone.”

              There’s a light blush over his cheeks when his lips come in contact with his cheek, a slight shyness that came from the long days without the affectionate touches. He craved for it, honestly, and tightened the arms around the other’s waist as he tilted his head up, leaning into his reach. “I’m not mad.” He just can’t find the words to say. “I missed you.” A quick peck to his cheek back, and he smiles lightly. “Welcome back home, Ren.”

[shiningliive]

Heres the covers for Starish’s ‘Solo Best Of’ Albums!

And with all the album titles, the full acronym is revealed:

Suki x Suki Hanamaru Target Is You ☆ Light ☆ Night Rose Rose Romance I Am Here Sweet Kiss Holy Knight