Recent Experience With TSA Less Than "Touching"
Well, I flew recently, and thankfully it involved being on a plane at the time. I've never actually attempted other methods of flight, but I imagine them to be a little less convenient. Yes, even less convenient than the dreaded...AIRPORT SECURITY.
Mind you, I actually started flying post 9-11, so I really have no idea what blissful utopia flying was before that. I can only imagine passengers were courteous, bags never got loss, instead of scrutinizing you at security, they took off your shoes and rubbed your feet. Not this Alcatraz where I have to actually empty my pockets and go through a scanner, I mean that's the kind of things a decent American only has to endure when they, say, go to a major sporting event, some museums, concerts, or government buildings. So it's not like Americans should be used to any kind of security checks.
But on a more serious note (ha), I had been hearing horror stories about pat-down molestation, the unforgivable invasion of privacy caused by these Orwellian body-scan machines. And then, it came my turn... I had to step into the odd machine... placing my feet where I was told, striking some odd pose just so those electronic eyes could undress me... and then it was swiftly over, a TSA agent checked my right side quickly, and sent me on my way. I don't feel my privacy was invaded, I don't feel as though I were stripped and exposed to the whole world, and realistically, I find the idea that a blue-tinted image of me with my junk visible exists somewhat funny, and moreover sorry for the poor guy who has to spend his day looking at smurf-crotches. Granted, I wouldn't want it broadcast out to the world, I do have some sense of propriety, but if the TSA reads this, I'd like a copy of my crotch-shot.
To that end, I'd like to offer a helping hand to the TSA in maintaining this level of security and making travelers feel more at home. Firstly, fundraising: Get some consenting models, take strange blue-tinted pictures showing off their junk, and have a XXX-rated playboy and playgirl style poster. People buy all kinds of things with naked people in it, so I'm sure this would be an airport best-seller!
Second, we need to improve screening. Start hiring good looking men and women of "negotiable moral standards" as specialized TSA agents. Have one of each gender at each security checkpoint, and offer voluntary pat-downs, passengers choice of agent. For those who would like to be doubly-sure they're not doing something illegal, strip-searches could be conducted in which both the agent of choice and passenger are stripped, to make the passenger feel a little less awkward. I'm fairly certain voluntary security screening would rise, and the only complaint would be that the agents weren't thorough enough.