How to Serve Men
1. Spread your holes
2. Do everything you’re told
3. Shut the fuck up
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How to Serve Men
1. Spread your holes
2. Do everything you’re told
3. Shut the fuck up
And that's why I get "exceeds expectations" on my performance evals. 💦
(Dirty story time for all of you wonderful perverts. The first part is written like texts to a guy who says that he had a drink or two at the bar with his buddy in the middle of the night after wrapping up work at the construction site. The second part is the jerk off material his horny girlfriend sends him to use after work, written while she plays with her pussy. 💦💦)
*-*-*-"-*-*-"-
I'm having dirty thoughts about you and Ed hanging out at the bar after work. Getting you both to jack off over the phone when you leave. You make me feel like such a little nympho. I know you're busy baby, so keep unloading trucks and I'm going to take care of something else.
I wouldn't want my dirty talk skills to get rusty. Imagining what I would say to get both of your sacks to tingle and tighten up for me is fun. Listening to you both tell me how hard I'm making you. That's what I'm going to think about while I touch my pussy. 😘
I'm writing something really filthy as I rub my clit. I hope that you enjoy this later Daddy....
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ed is going to tell me to sit down on his lap but he'll be pressing his swollen cockhead against my little asshole so that it slips inside and I feel my ass getting filled up deep and tight when I sit all the way down. You'll be watching all of this with a big bulge in your jeans, feeling your underwear getting tighter as it stretches over swollen shaft.
You're watching me squirm in little circles to get Ed's dick as deep as I can up inside of me. He has his hands on my hips and is encouraging me to bounce up and down instead. Soon you hear the sound of my ass clapping against his thighs as I ride him so well, sitting up just enough so that when I bounce back down he feels my ass stroking his shaft like the tightest pussy.
You take your fat dick out just as Ed reaches around and starts to play with my clit. He pulls his hand away to show you how wet and juicy getting ass fucked in front of you has made me. You start to play with the head of your cock as he reaches his hand up and pops his fingers into my hungry little mouth, telling me to enjoy how good I taste while I suck them clean. You walk up to where we are on the edge of the bed in the hotel room and stroke your long, thick shaft slowly. You see me watching you with my mouth open and practically drooling as I continue to ride Ed's rock hard dick. I know that I need you in my mouth, balls deep in my pretty face.
Ed tells me to sit up because it's time for me to take care of both of you. I let you reposition me laying on my back with my head on the edge of the bed. Ed kneels between my legs so I Instinctively lift them up like a good girl and show him the juicy hole that he's been busy stretching out. Then I look backwards and up at you, staring into your eyes as I open my mouth and stick out my tongue like you taught me to do, patiently waiting to feel which part of your cock you want licked first.
You keep stroking your shaft and straddle my face, gently resting your heavy, full, nut sack on my tongue. My tongue feels so soft as I start to lap at your nuts, taking each one into my mouth completely. You feel your balls getting completely sucked off, so juicy and warm, and my little tongue never stops licking.
You enjoy watching Ed mount me and soon the rhythm of him deep stroking his cock into me affects how well I can concentrate on your big sack on my lips. You know that it's time to have me air tight and filled from both ends.
You take a step back and suddenly I'm staring at the glossy swollen head of your cock. You know how much I love the sight of your dick so you rub your thumb over your cockhead a few times and watch how badly it turns me on, my pupils dilating as I'm hypnotized at the sight of your cock.
You like how I keep my mouth open and my tongue out like a good girl but you tell me to close it for a moment so that you can gently rub the pre-cum leaking from your tip all over my lips before I start to suck you down deep.
Ed is buried so deep in my asshole and I know that you're getting ready to fuck my face just as good and deep. Without warning you part my lips with your cockhead and lower yourself into my warm, tight throat. It feels like wet velvet gripping your shaft gently as you start to pump. We've been practicing my deep throating skills and when Ed sees your thick shaft disappear in one stroke it makes his dick swell up in my asshole, making it even tighter than it already was.
You're both fucking me so good and I'm already moaning when all of a sudden I feel Ed slip two fingers into my pussy. The juicy, loud sound that it makes as he starts to finger fuck me drives you crazy and you pump my face a little faster, a little deeper.
Each of my holes is so filled up and I hear you laugh at a joke that Ed makes about how contractors are good at filling up holes. I'm glad that you're having a good time playing with me and I spread my legs a little wider, until I feel Ed's ball sack slapping against me with every stroke.
Your balls are resting on my face as you enjoy how soft and extra tight my mouth and throat feel wrapped around your dick.
You reach out and start playing with my big brown nipples just as Ed's thumb starts to circle my clit. This drives me wild and I begin bucking underneath your hands. The sight of me starting to orgasm has you both ready to blow.
Ed keeps his fingers inside of me as you both pull out and start to stroke off. I haven't come yet so you tell me to get on my knees and suddenly I'm kneeling on the floor next to the bed, looking up at both of you eagerly as I touch myself.
Without warning Ed starts to paint my face with several thick ropes of jizz. The sight of your girl happily taking your buddy's load right across her face makes your balls tighten up and I tell you that I love your cock as I patiently wait for my second load.
Your cock explodes in what feels like one big blast of jizz. You watch it hit my mouth, tongue, cheeks, hair. You tell me to hold still and take a photo of me painted up before pulling me into the shower with you.
The clean, cool sheets of the hotel bed feel heavenly and you fall asleep quickly with me curled up next to you, knowing that when you wake up it will be with my lips wrapped around your cock.
xoxo
The universe has a wicked and perverse sense of humor. I know this because it allows cute, sweet, attentive girls with 24/7 libidos that don't quit, to somehow live sexually frustrated existences.
Reminder to all of the guys with daughters out there. Tell them you love them when they're growing up. Hug them. Be affectionate. Make them feel safe. Let them tell you their problems. Let them have feelings. Don't tell them not to cry or you'll "give them something to cry about". Don't ignore them all of the time except for when there's some irrational reason that you scream at them so that the only male attention they get is negative. And yet, it was attention so it "still counts".
Because otherwise, then one day, no matter how successful or attractive or smart she is, she will always down low suspect that maybe she's an unlovable piece of absolute shit. She will have moments of insecurity that seem to confirm this 100% and the chances of her having a partner around to understand and love her through those moments is slim to none. More than likely her moments of self-doubt will only serve to remind her that she's annoying - a nasty little catch 22.
We all joke about "daddy issues", myself included. But the absolutely indelible impact on a woman's psyche is wild. Even if she works through all of her shit, even if 99.9% of the time she feels like an absolute queen, an angel and a goddess -- there will always be that 0.1% of time when she's pretty sure she's an absolute garbage human. She will gaslight herself in ways that you couldn't even imagine if you were trying.
So yeah. Even if they're weird or annoying or frustrating, just love your daughters as much as you can every day. Be the bigger person. Be patient. Even when her hormones explode like pyrotechnics at a KISS concert and you want to duck and cover. Just be there.
And to attempt to end this on a sexy note, the one bright side to Daddy issues is that women who have them tend to be kinky little firecrackers in bed. 🤷♀️
Kisses to all of the men out there who are good real daddies to their actual daughters and/or boyfriend daddies to their grown ass baby girls. Because whether you are proactively avoiding the problem -- or helping to heal the mess that some other guy made -- y'all are the real MVPs. Bless.
PSA for the Good Girls
I now interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to provide a PSA for all of my fellow good girls and to anyone who tends to enjoy being in subspace.
Despite you being all subby and good and sweet, and regardless of what the men or boys in your life are doing or not doing on any given day, when you go to bed and when you wake the fuck up every day, remember:
✨🔥Be a bad bitch, not a sad bitch. 🔥✨
(Well you also have to remember to plug in your rechargeable vibrators but that's another story. 🤷♀️)
And when you need an extra boost of bad bitch, go to the gym and listen to all of the up tempo tracks off Lemonade while running on that treadmill like you're trying to kill it. 🏃♀️🔥
If it's Sunday, then for extra points wear false eyelashes to church and flirt with the pastor. 🕍 🤭
Trust me. If you remember this then you can always enjoy being sweet and subby and dick worshippy the way you like, but with your spirit perpetually intact. At the end of the day, bad bitches make the best good girls. 💝
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 💅
How do I tell my Noom coach that my #1 motivation for getting into shape is being more fuckable so that I can post nude pics on Tumblr for random men to reblog and jerk off to, quit my job and start an Only Fans? 🤔
Also, who wants to come feed me their dick for lunch so that I can stay under my calorie limit?
I deserve to be punished for how I keep promising to post and then don't...I'm sorry but it turns out that taking dick in real life is kind of distracting. 🤷♀️ Plus I haven't mastered the art of typing while my holes are full. I'll try harder. 😇
I'll be posting some new jerk off material soon. My inbox is currently as open as my pussy so that you can send me all of your filthiest story requests/ideas. What I don't use as a writing prompt, I'll use to edge my hot little hole this weekend. 😘
Oh my cunt is so warmed up and ready right now. I would make the perfect little fuck hole. I'm going to rub on my clit for a while and then I'm going to get my brand new ass plug and try that on. Finally I'm going to grab my big thrusting dildo and really abuse my pussy hole like I know you would.
See? I'm a very, very, very good girl. 🍆🤤
My poor, neglected blog. I'll be back soon with new content to get all of your dicks nice and hard. 😘
(via hucowslut, hucowslut, whynotmanup)
(via 1strottenhead)
I'm very good at multi-tasking. Other skills include impressive oral communication and people skills. 🤓💦