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Sade Olutola

if i look back, i am lost
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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oozey mess
EXPECTATIONS

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@senecavelvet
Early 20s Michelle was so pretentious! I love u tho! You did it as a way of survival itās okay tho! It was a way for us to distract from shit that was really going on deep down and now that weāve got all that bs out of the way weāre really starting to dig deep now and apply theory to practice. We used to be too tired to take care of ourselves we couldnāt be there for others or anyone in community we were exhausted. I forgive you though we ended up living a lot of life.
Lessons at 22
1. Do whatever you can to wield power over your autonomy, whether you find this in the occult, some new age religion, whatever the fuck, if itās helping you fucking stick with it as a form of meditation
2. You need a constant solitary morning/evening ritual. If you donāt get enough of this and you spend too much time with others and neglect this, you will feel āoffā.
3. Dress a little uncomfortably to keep yourself awake, take that time to look like a boss ass bitch in the morning
4. You are growing into yourself and you know what you like and you know what you donāt. Wear the damn jacket and donāt care about being too brashā people in the south just donāt know how to dress themselves
5. You will still have those days, you will have those attacks that seem like they come out of nowhereā get the fuck up, have you eaten? Have you walked around outside? Showered? Stick to your routine and go outside and walk. Your mind will create more productive thoughts and your anxiety will wash away as youāre doing your makeup.
6. You know you have a tendency of falling in too deep too fast, donāt trust someone until you see them walk their talk. Donāt say I love you until after youāve had your first major fight. Radical radical vulnerability is best saved for your acting class, protect yourself but remain tender.
7. Get off your phone
8. If the relationship is happening too fast, distance yourself, make time for yourself, donāt lose yourself. You are whole as you are. Donāt fall prey to the false sense of comfort. You will feel an uncomfortable sadness if you are around said person for too long. You need to remember you need your own space.
9. Ground turkey, southwest salad and espresso seasoning
10. Youāre not done with puberty until youāre like 24. Take better care of yourself, itās okay to refocus and re center. Your bodyās still changing and itās getting weirder
11. Shit happens, whatāre you gonna do, refer to Stoicism
12. Write write write write write write every day, itās what helped you recover and what helped you manifest the great things you achieved
13. Imposter syndrome is a bitch and anxiety is a slut stop letting them fucking win!!!
14. Youāre actually pretty good at teaching your peers philosophy and you make pretty badass scores on those exams because you actually learned to conceptualize shit that mattered to you. The grades kind of matter but in the grand scheme of things, the shit youāve been learning is applicable to adapting to different modalities of thought in your art
15. Itās okay to take a break from your main artistic medium
16. I know itās been a year and you think you suck, but pick up your paintbrush and take out your sexual frustration on a canvas and not on the dude youāre gonna regret
17. Stop trying to be the best at everything and stop thinking that a capitalistic notion of success will bring you happiness, how are you going to be authentic with yourself?
18. Your meaning and purpose in life are not monolithic, they are constantly shifting and evolving
19. If you have no meaning, make it your meaning to find a meaning or make it your purpose to overcome your apathy and/or mental chemical imbalances
20. Minimalism in your wardrobe has taken you very far. Quality>quantity
21. Donāt settle
22. You will meet new people every day at the coffee shop, go there when youāre sad. Everyone there is so damn supportive and theyāre all going through it
23. Practice vulnerability within reason
24. Once you stop defining people by what they do, you shed a layer of your ego and you stop projecting what you feel like you should be doing with your life
25. Become more honest with your therapist and stop feeling ashamed for having daddy issues. Youāre not the problem, itās a deeply rooted hermeneutical epistemic injustice.
26. Healing isnāt easy, itās a process, confront your dad
27. Stop hiding
28. Why the fuck did you think you were fat back then, stop that. And do more grocery shopping.
29. Thereās a sense of empowerment you finally feel once you embrace every part of yourself and you donāt feel bad for being curvier. (Itās bs how itās fetishized so much more now but srsly) once you dress a certain way that makes you feel comfortable, it changes your entire day
30. Itās not a race. Life can be like a sledgehammer beating you tf up, but as long as youāre surrounded by people who care and love you, itās easy to forget about all that shit
31. āIām falling in style right now, but Iām getting back up, and thatās okayā
32. As long as youāre consistently making progress, thatās all that matters, no matter how slow
33. There are loopholes to everything, find them. Take advantage
Love looking back at my mind on hereā¦.
Lessons at 28:
I never finished what I wrote. Anywho.,
thinking about this
Anok Yai attends the 2023 Heidi Klum Halloween Party
Fashion Week Spectator | Your daily dosis street style
Amy Beager (British, b. 1988)
Perfume, 2021
Acrylic and Oil on Canvas
Check out my cute Pixel App Icon Pack ⢠ᵠā¢Ā ā”
ā¤Ā BUY ITĀ ā¤
i highly recommend getting custom icons for your desktop, i got mine free here !! adds so much cuteness
METAMORPHOSIS, 2017-2018
https://www.instagram.com/loisycohen/
Published by Vogue Italia
Photography: Lois Cohen
Styling: Indiana Roma Voss
Concept & Art Direction: Lois Cohen & Indiana Roma Voss
NGL Iād be back on here more regularly if there werenāt as many ads.Ā
Iāve had a hard day, but I feel like Iāve gone through a journey of change to become more resilient
moonlight,detail
Ok felt like posting this to my main since I feel comfortable knowing a lot of people wonāt see this but itāll still be seen by someone. .
My mental health is on a decline and I havenāt been properly addressing it. Lately Iāve been numbing and masking this fact
I am making it a personal commitment to schedule my doctors appts this week. These past two months have been extremely reminiscent of my college downhill mental health experiences
I am recognizing the importance of a clean space and how that greatly impacts my health.
I am recognizing how important having a creative community is
Richard Corben and Richard Courtneyās Night on Bald Mountain, 1979, via @GregRozeboom