5 Dating Tips
Be Prepared:
Know where you're going, who you want to meet, and know what you'll be eating and drinking or what you'd like to have. Be prepared for all situation, pack essentials in your purse, and know what's going on in the world. If you want to meet a man in finance, read up about finance before you head out, if you're interested in men who are in business, read up about international business. Be prepared with different subjects to talk about, be physically prepared, and be prepared to meet people. You can't walk out of your home expecting to not succeed, walk out of your home with a positive attitude and know that you'll succeed in all of your endeavours. If you're going on a date some someone special or just want to meet someone specific, you need to be prepared for every possible situation, then you can handle everything that comes your way properly.
I used to steam and perfect my outfits, use a lint roller, and get my shoes and stockings ready and hour before I got in the shower and at least 2,5 hours before I did my makeup. I was always ready to go out. I was always in that mindset. I was the sort of woman who didn't like to bother with Mr. Right Nows, I liked to be in the mindset of knowing that I could easily go out and find my Mr. Right if I believed that I could. There's a mindset of success that you need to have, you can't believe you'll fail. I wanted to be with a man that I could thrive and grow old with, laugh and cry with, have late nights and early mornings with, and enjoy life in all it splendour with. I didn't see the point of going out over and over and trying life with a million men when I knew there's was only one for me. I didn't consider that of have to look forever, I only considered the fact that I knew that I would be happy and whole in the future with the man that I knew I'd marry.
Make a list of the things you won't negotiate:
What are the things that you'd never consider in a man you're with? Would you date a smoker or a drinker? Would you date a Protestant if you're a Catholic? Would you date a man who does casual party drugs? Would you live your life with a man who's seriously overweight and doesn't want to change? You need to make a list of the things that you would absolutely not consider in a partner, money comes secondary but the fact of the matter is that there's nothing worse than being with someone who you're supposed to love but wishing every moment that you were alone.
There are some men who don't want marriage, if you are desperate to be married, don't settle down with them. Put it on your non-negotiable list that you'd like to be married within 5 years and find a man that you'd like to be married to. There are men out there who want to be married and will propose to you, find one of them. There's no need to be with a man who doesn't want to marry anyone and try to convince him to marry you. You don't want to force anyone into marriage if they're not absolutely enthusiastic about being with you.
The proper man for you will propose to you when the time is right, the proper man for you will be the man you need to be with, and if he's willing to quit alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes to be with you, he'll do it without you feeling like you've forced him into making decisions that he doesn't want to do. When you find him, you'll know. There's nothing like having non-negotiables so you know exactly what you need out of a relationship and you know the sort of man that you're looking for. There's no shame in having expectations for someone.
Establish your longterm goals:
What do you want from life and from your marriage in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and 20 years? Where do you see yourself now and where do you want to see yourself? What do you want? You need to know what you want and have an idea of what you need within certain time frames. Would you like to be married within 5 years and have a baby within 7 years? Would you like houses? Do you want to travel? Do you want jewellery? What do you want? Figure out what you want beforehand so you have an idea of what sort of man you want to spend your life with. Your longterm goals need to match the longterm goals of your potential husband, if not, then you probably won't be compatible in the long run. If you have an idea of the goals and the things you want and you meet a man who's capable of giving you those things, consider a relationship. Once you find someone, you don't need to keep looking, it'll lead to disappointment. Once you find someone you love and want to be with, stop looking for someone better, settle down, and grow up.
Be candid about your values:
I'm a religious woman, even though Frederick was Lutheran when I met him, his paternal family is extremely Conservative and Catholic. I began going to Lutheran Church when I moved in with him in Sweden because it was convenient and because it was the church that his maternal family went to. When we moved to England, he realised that it would be easier to go to Catholic Church and he preferred it because it was familiar. I was raised with traditional values and Catholic values and he was as well. One of the reasons why we worked together was because of our similar values. If you're a conservative and very religious, it's probably not going to work out with a man who's an atheist and who's very liberal. Don't waste your time on men who don't have values similar to yours because they won't change.
I'm happy at home but I work 2 hours daily with my husband because he needs me. I leave the house. He's perfectly happy to let me leave if I want to. I'm always evolving and I'm happy with a man who's able to adapt. Do you have the same values towards Sex? Politics? Children? Religion? Staying home? Money? Know what you need from a man and know that you need to be certain with your choices. If you can't speak about things and agree, you need to consider how your life would be together. There's a reason conservatives date and marry conservatives, there's a reason Christian women date Christian men, and there's a reason why liberal men and liberal women marry and date. They all share similar values with each other.
List down all the men you meet and write down what you liked and didn't like about them:
For every date you go on and for every man you meet, write down what you didn't like and what you liked about them. It's important to know what you like in a man. You should list down qualities, hobbies, jobs, and other positive things that you like about the men that you've met that you like so you can begin to look for the things that they all have in common. If you know what you like, you'll have an easier time when it comes to finding what you're looking for in a potential husband.
Same with the negatives, list the negative things so you know what you don't like and don't think you'd like in a potential husband. If you meet men with bad behaviour, note that bad behaviour down so you have an easier time identifying it in a potential husband. Knowing all of the things that you consider negative and being able to identify them in a future husband are so important, you don't need to sift through men when you can take your list of negatives and make the process so much easier on yourself. Knowing what you consider negative and figuring out on your own time is so important to growing up and learning what you need in a potential husband.
I think it's much easier to make a list of all of the things that you do and don't like in men that you meet than to make a list with no experience. Yes, you can look up certain qualities and such and list them but what if you decide that you do like them? I thought that I could never love a man who was aggressive, Frederick threw one punch and took my ex boyfriend out and I realised just how much a little bit of aggression when defending my honour could light my fire. I dislike conspiracy theorists, I know the earth is round, and I could never be with a man who believed in conspiracy theories and thought the earth was flat. There's nothing to it.
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