⊹₊ ⋆ You and Jungwon can’t stand each other, but you’re stuck in the same friend group. After a tense hangout, everyone else leaves and the two of you are alone. It starts off as an argument but quickly turns physical fast... years of tension, mean teasing, and your secret kink for his dimples explode into something rough.
The group chat had been blowing up all afternoon. Jay insisting on “one last hang before the dorms get too chaotic.” Sunghoon already claiming the biggest couch in the photos he sent. Heeseung promising snacks he would definitely forget. Your own friends piled on just as hard. Maya texted an endless stream of pleading emojis that somehow managed to look judgmental. Sana sent a voice note that was mostly laughing and the words “if you don’t come I’m dragging you by the ankle.” Even Hana, usually the quiet one, dropped a simple "be there or we’re starting without you" that felt more like a threat than an invitation.
You stared at your phone for a long time. The other option was sitting alone in your empty apartment while everyone else laughed without you. That felt worse. So you went.
The other option being Yang Jungwon.
He was already there when you arrived, spread out in the corner of the living room like he owned the place, one long leg draped over the arm of the chair. Black hoodie, messy hair falling into his eyes, that permanent half smirk that made your blood pressure spike on sight. The second your eyes met across the room, the temperature dropped ten degrees.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” he said, voice light, almost bored. “Traffic that bad, or did you just need extra time to practice your resting bitch face?”
Maya, already resting on the arm of the couch with an open bag of chips, snorted into her drink. “Be nice, Jungwon. She actually showed up this time.”
You dropped your bag with more force than necessary. “Some of us have actual lives outside of looking pretty for the camera. Shocking concept, I know.”
Sana grinned from the kitchen doorway, two drinks in hand. “And she’s already arguing. This is going to be a long night.”
Jay groaned from behind her. “Can we not start already? It’s been five minutes.”
“We’re not starting anything,” you and Jungwon said at the exact same time, then glared at each other for the synchronization like it personally offended both of you.
Hana, quiet as ever, just raised one eyebrow and claimed the far end of the couch, clearly settling in for the show with the uncomplaining patience of someone who had seen this too many times before.
The rest of the evening was a fucking masterclass in passive aggression dressed up as a normal group hangout. Every time someone suggested a game, Jungwon somehow ended up on your team. Every time you reached for a drink, he was there first, taking the last can of the exact flavor he knew you liked and cracking it open with a little toast in your direction. When the conversation turned to weekend plans, he casually mentioned the cafe you both secretly loved and then claimed he’d “already gone with someone else,” watching the way your jaw tightened with open, lazy amusement.
Maya leaned over at one point and muttered under her breath, “You two are exhausting,” while Sana openly took side bets with Jake on who would snap first. Hana just kept sipping her drink and looking between the two of you like she was watching a slow motion car crash she had already predicted.
You tried to focus on your friends. You really did. Maya’s stories about her disastrous group project. Sana’s dramatic retelling of a date that ended with her climbing out a bathroom window. Hana’s quiet little comments that always landed harder than anyone expected. But Jungwon was always there. In your peripheral vision. In every conversation. Smiling that easy smile at everyone else while saving the sharp edges for you.
And those dimples.
Every time he laughed at something Jake said, they appeared… deep, perfect little dents in his cheeks that made him look softer than he had any right to be. You hated how your eyes kept finding them. Hated the low, unwanted twist in your stomach every single time. It wasn’t just noticing them. It was worse than that. It was a full body reaction. The second those dimples showed, something hot and stupid and shameful pulsed between your legs. You had spent months trying to ignore it, trying to tell yourself it was just a random physical feature and not something that made you wet. But it was. It was a fucking kink, and you hated yourself for it almost as much as you hated him.
You caught yourself staring again when he smiled at something Sana said. The dimples dug in deep, soft and boyish and completely unfair, and your thighs pressed together under the table before you could stop them. Jungwon’s eyes flicked to yours for half a second. The corner of his mouth twitched like he knew exactly what you were looking at.
By the time people started to trickle off, the apartment had already thinned out. Jake with an early schedule. Sunoo claiming he was “emotionally exhausted.” Ni-ki dragged out by Jay with a half hearted wave. Then Maya stood, stretching her arms over her head.
“I’ve got a morning class. Sana, you coming?”
Sana glanced between you and Jungwon, clearly reluctant to leave the tension behind, but finally sighed. “Yeah. Hana?”
Hana rose more slowly, giving you a long look that said "text me if he starts something and I’ll come back with a baseball bat." “Don’t kill each other. Or do. Just clean up after.”
And just like that, the door clicked shut behind the last of them. The muted variety show on the TV kept playing to an empty room. Empty snack bags littered the coffee table. It was just the two of you left in the sudden quiet.
You stood, gathering your things with deliberate calm. “I’m leaving.”
Jungwon didn’t move from the couch. “Door’s that way. Try not to slam it like last time. The neighbors complain.”
You turned on him fully. “What is your problem with me?”
He finally looked up, eyes sharp under the messy fall of his hair. “My problem? You’re the one who walks around like the world owes you something. Acting all soft with your little girl squad and then turning into a walking attitude the second I open my mouth.”
“Because every time you open your mouth it’s to be an asshole.”
“And every time you open yours it’s to act like you’re better than the rest of us.” He stood then, slow, deliberate. He was taller than you remembered when he wasn’t lounging. The black hoodie hung loose on his frame, but there was nothing soft about the way he moved. “You think I don’t notice? The way you roll your eyes whenever I talk. The way you freeze me out in group chats. The way you look at me like I’m something you stepped in. You don’t even try to hide it.”
“Maybe because you make it impossible.” Your voice was rising, heat climbing up your neck. “You poke and you tease and you act like everything’s a joke until someone actually gets tired of it. Then you act surprised when they push back.”
“Oh, so now I’m the problem?” He stepped closer. The coffee table was the only thing left between you. “You started this. First time we met you looked at me like I was something you scraped off your shoe.”
“Because you were already talking shit about people behind their backs five minutes after meeting them.”
“And you were already judging everyone from your little arrogant self, like your opinion was the only one that mattered.”
You were toe to toe now. Close enough to see the faint flush high on his cheeks, the way his jaw flexed when he was pissed. Close enough to smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with something warmer underneath… skin and heat and the ghost of whatever he’d been drinking. Close enough that when he spoke, you could feel the words against your own mouth.
“I don’t like you,” you said, quiet and vicious.
“Feeling’s mutual.” His voice dropped into something lower, rougher. “So why the fuck do you keep looking at my mouth?”
The question landed like a slap. You hadn’t realized you were doing it. But his lips were parted slightly, and when he spoke the dimples appeared again… those deep, unfair dimples that made him look softer than he was, that made something low and shameful twist hard between your legs. Your stomach flipped. Your cunt throbbed. It was automatic. It was humiliating.
“I’m not—”
“You are.” He leaned in, breath warm against your cheek, voice almost gentle in its cruelty. “You always do. Every time I smile at someone else you look like you want to either kiss me or kill me. Haven’t figured out which yet. Your friends notice too, you know. Maya keeps giving me these looks like she’s trying to decide if she should warn you or me.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
You shoved him.
It wasn’t hard. Just enough to make him take a step back, eyes flashing with something that wasn’t quite anger. Then he was on you… hand fisting in the front of your shirt, spinning you, walking you backward until your spine hit the wall hard enough to knock the air from your lungs. His other hand braced beside your head, caging you in. The impact sent a jolt straight down your spine.
“You like pushing,” he murmured, almost conversational, like he was commenting on the weather. “Let’s see how much.”
You shoved at his chest again. He didn’t move an inch. Instead he caught both your wrists in one hand and pinned them above your head with easy, casual strength that made your pulse stutter hard against your throat. His free hand slid down, fingers spreading over the side of your neck just enough to feel the frantic beat there. Not choking. Just holding. Claiming.
“Still hate me?” he asked, thumb brushing the edge of your jaw in a mockery of gentleness.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He kissed you like he was trying to win an argument.
It was all teeth and heat, no softness, no careful exploration. You bit his lower lip hard enough to make him hiss into your mouth, and he fought back by grinding his thigh between your legs, pinning you harder against the wall. The sound that escaped you was humiliating… high and needy. Jungwon smiled against your mouth, and you felt those dimples press against your cheek. Deep. Soft. Completely at odds with the way he was currently trying to devour you.
The second you felt them, your whole body reacted. Heat flooded between your legs so fast it made you dizzy. Your hips jerked against his thigh without permission. A broken little sound slipped out of you, and Jungwon felt it. Of course he felt it.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, still smiling, dimples carved deep into his cheeks on purpose now. “There it is,” he whispered, lips brushing yours with every word. “That little noise. And that look. You really can’t help it, can you?”
There was a flicker of something softer under the teasing… almost fond… before the mean edge returned.
“Fuck you.”
“Planning on it.” He smiled wider, deliberately, watching the way your eyes dropped straight to the dimples and your thighs pressed together. “Oh my god. You’re actually getting wet from this. From my dimples. While I’m pinning you to the wall and you’re still trying to pretend you hate me.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” His voice dropped into something darker, almost delighted, but the next words came out quieter, almost sweet. “It’s kind of cute, actually. The way you try so hard to look away and fail every single time.” Then the mean smile returned. “It’s a fucking kink, isn’t it? You get off on them. Every time I smile at someone else you sit there with your legs crossed, pretending you’re not throbbing. How long have you been like this? Months? Since the first time we met?”
You turned your face away, heat flooding your cheeks. He caught your jaw and forced you to look at him again, then smiled… slow, mean, and deep enough that the dimples looked almost obscene.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “That’s what I thought.”
His hand left your throat and shoved under your shirt without practice, palm hot against the bare skin of your stomach, then higher, rough over the thin fabric of your bra. He didn’t bother with gentleness. He squeezed, pinched, rolled a nipple between two fingers until your back arched off the wall and a broken sound tore out of you. When you tried to twist away he simply pressed closer, mouth finding the sensitive spot under your ear and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Between rough bites he pressed a softer kiss to the same spot, almost apologetic, before biting again.
“You’re already soaked, aren’t you?” His voice was low, almost mocking, breath hot against the damp skin he’d just bitten. “Arguing with me gets you this worked up? Sitting across from me all night with that attitude while your friends watched, legs crossed so tight, staring at my fucking dimples like you wanted to sit on my face. Pathetic.”
Then, softer, right against your ear: “Pretty, though. The way you get all flustered.”
“You’re the one with a hard dick digging into my hip.”
“And I’m going to use it.” He released your wrists only long enough to yank your shirt over your head and toss it somewhere behind him. The bra followed a second later, straps yanked down your arms with impatient force. Cool air hit your skin for half a breath before his mouth did… hot, open, teeth scraping over the upper curve of your breast. He sucked a dark mark onto the soft flesh while his fingers worked the button of your jeans open with one handed efficiency. Between the rough sucks he pressed a few slower, sweeter kisses along the same path, like he couldn’t decide which version of himself he wanted to be.
You should have stopped him. You should have shoved him away and walked out and never looked back.
Instead you fisted your hands in the front of his hoodie and dragged him back up for another bruising kiss. He let you, only to bite down on your lip the moment you got too bold, hard enough that the taste of copper spread between you. Jungwon licked it away like it was nothing, then kissed the same spot softer, almost gentle, before diving back in.
Your jeans and underwear were shoved down your thighs in one impatient motion, fabric scraping over sensitive skin. The second the cool air hit your cunt he groaned, low and filthy, the sound vibrating against your collarbone.
“Fuck. Look at that.” Two fingers slid through your folds without warning, gathering the slick that had already soaked through. “Dripping. For me. While you still have that look on your face like you want to slap me. All because I smiled at you.”
“I do.”
“Then do it.”
You did. Open palm across his cheek, sharp and sudden. Not hard enough to really hurt, but the sound cracked through the quiet apartment like a gunshot. Jungwon’s head turned with the force of it, then slowly, deliberately, came back to face you. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide. One of those dimples flickered as he smiled… mean, delighted, almost fond.
“Again.”
You hit him a second time. He caught your wrist on the third attempt and pinned it back to the wall above your head, then shoved two fingers into you in one smooth, ruthless thrust that stole the air from your lungs.
The stretch burned. You cried out, hips jerking against the sudden intrusion. He didn’t give you a second to adjust… just curled those fingers and started fucking them into you hard and fast, the wet sound of it obscene in the silence of the empty apartment. His thumb found your clit immediately and pressed down, rubbing tight, relentless circles while he watched your face like he was memorizing every flinch, every broken sound, every desperate little twitch of your hips.
“That’s it. Take it.” His voice was rough now, lower than you’d ever heard it. “You wanted this the whole time, didn’t you? Sitting across from me all night with that attitude, legs crossed so tight while your friends pretended not to notice. Bet you were thinking about my hands. Bet you were wet before I even touched you. Bet those dimples were the first thing that got you going.”
Between the mean words he leaned in and pressed a surprisingly soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, quick and almost sweet, before pulling back to watch your reaction.
“Shut… ah… shut up—”
“Make me.” He added a third finger without warning, the stretch punching a broken, high sound out of you that made his eyes flash with satisfaction. “You’re so fucking tight. Going to feel even better around my cock. Going to take me so deep you’ll still feel it tomorrow.”
He worked you open with deliberate cruelty, scissoring his fingers inside you, pressing against that spot that made your knees threaten to give out. Every time you got close… every time your thighs started to shake and your breath started to hitch… he slowed down, pulled almost all the way out, then slammed back in hard enough to make you cry out. Mean teasing. Exactly what you’d asked for without ever saying the words out loud. And yet between the rough thrusts he kept pressing soft little kisses to your jaw, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, like he couldn’t fully commit to being only mean.
“Look at me,” he ordered when your head fell back against the wall. “I want to see those eyes when you come on my fingers. Don’t you dare hide from me.”
You forced your gaze back to his. His dimples were deep now, cheeks flushed dark, hair falling into his eyes. The sight of them… those soft, boyish dimples on a face that was currently ruining you with three fingers and a mean smile… sent another gush of wetness down his hand. He felt it. Of course he felt it. His smile turned sharper, almost vicious with delight.
“Oh, you really can’t hide it.” He leaned in, almost nose to nose, and smiled wider on purpose just to watch your reaction. The dimples dug in deep. Your cunt clenched hard around his fingers. “These? You get this wet just looking at my dimples while I’m knuckle deep in your cunt? It’s a real kink, isn’t it? You get off on how soft they look while I’m being mean to you. Fucking pervert. Your friends would lose their minds if they knew their sweet little Y/N gets soaked over Jungwon’s dimples.”
Then, quieter, almost sweet against your lips, “It’s okay. I like it too.”
“Jungwon—”
“Say it.” His fingers curled hard inside you, pressing against that spot until your vision went white at the edges. “Tell me you like them. Tell me it’s a kink. Say it or I stop right now and leave you like this.”
You shook your head, pride still clawing at the last scraps of dignity. He slowed his fingers deliberately, almost pulling out completely, and the broken sound of protest that left your throat was humiliating.
“Say it.”
“I… fuck… I like them,” you gasped, the words torn out of you. “I like your stupid dimples, okay? It’s… god… it’s a fucking kink. I get wet every time I see them. Now don’t you dare stop—”
He didn’t.
He slammed his fingers deeper, faster, the heel of his palm grinding against your clit with every thrust. The wet, filthy sound of it filled the room. Your orgasm hit like a freight train… sudden, violent, thighs shaking hard around his wrist as you came with a broken cry that echoed off the walls. You clenched around his fingers so tightly he hissed through his teeth, but he didn’t stop. He worked you through it with ruthless precision until you were twitching and oversensitive and trying to twist away from the intensity. Through it he kept pressing soft kisses to your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, a strange contrast to the way his fingers refused to stop.
Only then did he pull his fingers free. They glistened in the low light. He shoved them into your mouth without warning.
“Clean them.”
You did. Tasted yourself on his skin, while he watched, eyes heavy lidded and dark with something that looked a lot like hunger. When he was satisfied he yanked his own hoodie and shirt off in one motion, revealing the lean muscle of his chest and stomach, then shoved his pants down just far enough to free his cock. Thick, hard, already leaking at the tip. He stroked himself once, twice, smearing the slick from his fingers over the head until it glistened.
“Turn around.”
You didn’t move fast enough. He spun you with firm hands, pressed your chest flat to the wall, and kicked your feet further apart with one foot. The head of his cock dragged through your folds, teasing, collecting more wetness. You tried to push back onto him, desperate for more, but he held your hips still with bruising fingers.
“Ask nicely.”
“Fuck you.”
He slapped your ass hard enough to sting, the sharp crack of it loud in the quiet. The heat bloomed across your skin immediately. “Try again.”
Then, softer, right against the back of your neck: “Come on. You can do it.”
“Please,” you gritted out, forehead pressed to the cool wall. “Just… put it in.”
“Put what in where?” His voice was pure mockery, soft and cruel against the back of your neck. “Use your words, Y/N. You’ve been so good at running that mouth all night. Don’t get shy now.”
“Your cock,” you forced out, voice shaking. “In my cunt. Now. Please.”
He slammed in to the hilt in one brutal thrust.
The stretch was overwhelming… thick and sudden and so deep it punched the air from your lungs in a broken cry. Jungwon didn’t give you a second to breathe or adjust. He set a punishing pace immediately, hips snapping forward so hard the sound of skin on skin filled the room in a filthy rhythm. Every thrust punched another sound out of you. His hands gripped your waist hard enough to leave bruises in the shape of his fingers, yanking you back to meet every slam like he wanted to bury himself deeper than physics allowed.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he growled against the back of your neck, voice rough and strained. “Taking me so well for someone who claims to hate me. Look at you. Arching back for more like you’ve been starving for it.”
Between the rough words he pressed open mouthed kisses to the back of your neck, some biting, some surprisingly gentle.
You could only moan in response, fingers scrabbling against the wall for any kind of purchase. He reached around without slowing, found your swollen clit, and rubbed in rough, tight circles timed perfectly with his thrusts. The double stimulation was almost too much. Your second orgasm built fast and mean, coiling tight and low in your belly until you were shaking with the effort of holding it back.
“Don’t come yet,” he ordered, breath hot against your ear. “Not until I say. You come when I let you.”
“I can’t—”
“You will.” He slowed deliberately, grinding deep instead of thrusting, keeping you right on the edge with the thick drag of his cock and the relentless pressure of his fingers. The denial made you want to scream. Then he did the meanest (and somehow sweetest) thing yet… he turned his head just enough that you could see his profile, and smiled.
The dimples appeared. Deep. Soft. Perfect.
Your cunt clenched so hard around him that he groaned.
“Oh, you fucking liked that,” he panted, still smiling on purpose, still grinding deep. “You just gushed around my cock because I showed you my dimples. While I’m balls deep in you. While you’re still trying to pretend this isn’t exactly what you wanted.” His voice softened for a second. “You’re so cute when you get like this.” Then the mean edge returned. “Say it again. Tell me how much you love them while I’m fucking you.”
“Jungwon… please—”
“Say it.”
“I love them,” you choked out, shame and pleasure tangled so tightly you couldn’t tell them apart. “I love your dimples. They make me so wet… fuck… please let me come—”
“Good girl.”
He picked up the pace again, brutal and deep and relentless, fingers working your clit without a single ounce of mercy. You came hard, walls fluttering and clenching around him, a broken sob torn from your throat as the pleasure crashed through you in waves. Jungwon fucked you through it without slowing, chasing his own release with short, sharp thrusts that kept the overstimulation going until you were shaking and oversensitive and half sobbing against the wall. Through it he kept pressing soft kisses to your shoulder and the side of your neck, a strange, sweet contrast to the way he refused to stop moving.
He pulled out suddenly. The emptiness made you whimper. Then he spun you back around, lifted you easily with his hands under your thighs, and carried you the few steps to the couch like you weighed nothing. He dropped you onto your back, shoved your legs open wide, and slammed back into you before you could catch your breath.
This angle was worse. Deeper. He braced one hand beside your head, the other gripping your thigh hard enough to bruise, and drove into you like he was trying to leave a permanent imprint of himself inside you. His face was above yours now… flushed dark, mouth open, those dimples flashing every time he gritted his teeth or smirked down at the wrecked expression on your face.
Every time they appeared, your body reacted. Another pulse of heat. Another helpless clench around his cock. He noticed. Of course he noticed.
“Still hate me?” he panted, voice rough, smiling on purpose just to watch you fall apart.
“Yes… fuck… yes—”
“Liar.” He leaned down and bit the side of your neck, hard enough to make you cry out, then licked over the mark and pressed a softer kiss there, almost gentle. “You love this. Love taking my cock after talking all that shit all night. Love my dimples even more. Look at you. Completely ruined over them.” His voice dropped into something quieter. “Pretty like this. All mine right now.”
You clawed at his back, nails digging into the muscle hard enough to leave red lines. He hissed and fucked you harder for it, the couch creaking under the force of his thrusts. Somewhere in the haze of pleasure and overstimulation you realized you were saying his name over and over… half curse, half prayer, completely broken.
He reached between your bodies again, fingers finding your swollen, oversensitive clit with unerring accuracy. “One more. Come on my cock one more time and I’ll fill you up. Give me one more. And look at me while you do it. Look at my dimples while you come.”
He smiled deliberately, deep and mean and perfect, and the combination of that visual with the relentless drag of his cock and the rough circles of his fingers shattered you. Your third orgasm tore through you longer and deeper than the others, leaving you limp and trembling and gasping for air that wouldn’t come. Jungwon followed a few thrusts later, burying himself to the hilt and coming with a low, broken groan against your throat. You felt the hot pulse of him inside you, the way he kept rocking through it in shallow little thrusts like he couldn’t stand to stop.
For a long moment the only sound in the apartment was your shared, ragged breathing.
He didn’t pull out right away. Just stayed there, forehead pressed to your shoulder, body heavy and warm over yours. When he finally lifted his head, those dimples were gone. His expression was unreadable… still sharp around the edges, but quieter. Softer in a way that made something dangerous flutter in your chest.
“We should clean up,” he said eventually, voice rough and low.
You stared at the ceiling, still trying to remember how to breathe properly. “Yeah.”
Neither of you moved.
His hand found yours on the couch cushion, fingers brushing once before he laced them together carefully. It was the softest thing he’d done all night. You didn’t pull away.
“Still hate me?” he asked again, quieter this time. Almost careful.
You turned your head and met his eyes. The dimples flickered when he almost… almost…smiled for real, small and private and nothing like the mean ones he’d worn while he ruined you. Your stomach still flipped at the sight. Even now. Even after everything.
“Ask me again tomorrow,” you said.
Jungwon huffed a quiet laugh that sounded almost like relief. Then he leaned down and kissed you properly… slow, soft, and sweet. No teeth. No fighting. Just warm lips moving gently against yours, lingering like he didn’t want to pull away. One hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing lightly under your eye. When he finally drew back, his forehead rested against yours for a second longer than necessary.
“Okay,” he murmured. “Tomorrow.”
He pressed one more soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before finally pulling out. The emptiness made you wince. He stood, still half dressed, and offered a hand to help you up without a single sarcastic comment.
You took it.
The apartment was still quiet. The muted TV still flickered in the background. Outside, the city kept moving like nothing important had happened at all.
But something had.
Your phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later while you were still trying to find your shirt. A message from Maya, "you two kill each other yet or do I need to come back with the baseball bat?"
You stared at the screen for a long second, then locked it without answering.
Jungwon glanced over from where he was pulling his hoodie back on, hair even messier than before. “Your friends checking in?”
“Something like that.”
He didn’t push. Just handed you your shirt when he found it, fingers lingering a second longer than necessary against yours. Then, almost as an afterthought, he smiled… small, private, and deep enough that the dimples showed one last time.
Your body still reacted.
He saw it. And this time, the smile he gave you was quieter. Almost soft. He leaned in and stole one more gentle kiss, brief and sweet, before stepping back.
Tomorrow, maybe, you’d figure out what the hell this was.
Tonight, the hatred still tasted like the best thing you’d ever had. And the bruises spreading on your hips and the ache between your legs… and the way his dimples still made you weak, and the memory of that last soft kiss… felt like a promise neither of you was ready to name.
THE END
I've been busy, sorry for that guys. I still wanted to post something so here is something small! I have so many long fics in my drafts, so look out for that! I'll be out for the next week, so definitely when I come back!
coming off a bad divorce - what better therapy than getting railed in a club bathroom by Sukuna? The only thing is - he lied and told you he was twenty-eight like you are, instead? He's living in a damn frat house. His dick is just a little too good though, so you take his proposal to become friends with benefits - you're a busy mom, after all, no time to date! it's not like he'll end up having feelings for you!
♡﹐pairings- fratboy! sukuna x milf! reader
♡﹐warnings - insecurities, lil hints of angst, Sukuna calling us Mommy - he is a whole needy brat, lwk mean reader (he loves it). guest starring milf hunters Suguru and Satoru <3 oral (m and f receiving) cum play, swallowing, semi public sex, emotions, fluffy and cute ending, lots of feelings, lil age difference - oneshot - 8.8k wc <3
♡﹐creds- art is by my bb @winterrbluess I love her sm hehe <3 also tysm to @lizatonix for beta reading as always!!! divider by @/viviansturns <3
You were swirling your little straw in your pretty pink drink – a little umbrella sitting on the side of the tall glass, as you sat there that night, right after having to meet your ex to drop off your kid for his weekend. It’s just not something you thought would happen to you before you even hit thirty, being a single mom, but here you were, alone for the first time in years.
You try not to feel sorry for yourself, but seeing his new girlfriend when you’d dropped off your son had you trembling with anger. It would be easier if your man was an asshole, a dickhead, but no – he was actually one of those ‘nice guys’. The kind of man that even now tried to be all fucking sweet with you and friendly, giving you this awkward goddamn hug.
He’d even broken up with you in a ‘friendly way’. Some new age, express your feelings in a bullshit manner, as calm as could be as he let you know he’d met someone else, and thought it best to end things. You didn’t even have a clue anything was wrong, no, the sex wasn’t great, but you thought you two made a good team, and you’d been with him for your entire adult life.
Seeing the nineteen-year-old babysitter he got with?
Ouch.
You looked fine as fuck at twenty-eight, though – in fact, you took better care of yourself now than you did partying at her age, but the fact remained he was in his mid thirties and went that much younger.
Yep.
Your friends were disgusted about it, but who were you to say shit? You were a bit of a mess at first, honestly so busy with your career and your kid that you didn’t have all that time to ‘look pretty’ like you probably should have.
“Revenge arc, that’s what you need,” your best friends had agreed.
“Revenge arc?”
“Look fucking hot as shit, get with a man hotter than him,” you had shaken your head at them both as you had brunch, sipping on one of those mimosas and sighing.
“I can’t just hook up, I’ve only been with him forever… what if I…”
“Twitter porn!”
“What!?” You’d scowled right at them both, earning their laughs. “Twitter porn?”
“It’ll teach you all you need to know,” you’d thought them foolish, really – until you’d decided to check.
Oh, your man had never shown you any of that.
You’d been scrolling, soaking wet and ovulating of course, eyeing the way these women were getting fucked with envy, fingered, eaten out – what the actual fuck? He’d only had you suck his cock and then hit it missionary, aside from a couple times letting you ride him.
Maybe you were missing out.
You still couldn’t just go ‘fuck someone’ though, but you couldn’t help but be upset after the brand new girlfriend had gotten you. Hugging you and being all friendly, your kid had just scowled right at her, he may have been six but he was damn near forty with his mentality, and he did not like her.
You’d had to go get a drink, got all cute in a dress you hadn’t worn in about seven years, it was just a little tight on the hips but it looked cute, clearly – walking into the exclusive, fancy club had settled that when there were eyes on you. It was so odd, going to one of these, and alone, but you poked around on your phone, taking a small sip of the tart drink, letting it hit your taste buds.
There were two men buying you drinks, one on the right of you, and one on the left, the two of them talking as you barely listen, wondering exactly what the fuck you were supposed to feel.
They were cute, their attention felt nice, yet you had no desire for them.
“Are you listening?” You blink a bit, sighing.
“Yes, sorry,” the guy was your type… tall, dark and honey tongued, reminiscent of your ex a bit – but that was not what you needed. “I um… have to go to the bathroom. One minute.”
You manage, walking off before the two men can say anything, planning your escape in your head when you run right into a hard body.
“Oof,” you stumble a bit, feeling a huge hand on your waist steadying you, peeking up into ruby red eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Tch, it’s fine,” he mumbled, you felt a little too good against him, he couldn’t help but hold you there, dumbstruck as you stepped back, eyes glancing over your body and lingering on your hips.
Fuck you’re pretty.
“Trying to run away from them?” He smirks at you now, you sigh, looking back over your shoulder to see the two men arguing, before looking back up at this smug looking man.
He’s gotta be younger than you – this big grin on his face, a varsity jacket – that shit told you all you needed to know, especially with his friends in tow, pointing and waving at you like little shitheads. You peek curiously, leading him to look back, glaring and making them turn around, whistling – hands in their pockets.
“Your friends?” You tease, he sighs, looking back down at you.
“You could call them that, I guess…” He gave them a fucking death glare, seeing in his phone now a text from Satoru.
If you don’t tap that milf, I will.
He can’t stand them.
You’re going to walk by when he pauses you – he never has to try, Sukuna has women all the fuck over him, especially in college. Never has one seemed so uninterested until now – making him furious as he realizes his hand is on your wrist. You blink and look at it for a moment.
“Uh, your name,” he manages to say, suddenly nervous.
Sukuna, nervous?
Really now.
“Oh,” you give it to him and he repeats it, making you flustered at the proximity, his hand still touching you. “Yours?”
“Sukuna.”
“Nice to meet you,” you clear your throat now and go to walk away again, this time he damn near shouts your name. “What’s up?”
“Like… fuck, you just…” He hears Satoru and Suguru snickering over there, he may kill them. “Can I buy you a drink or some shit?”
“You’re hot,” you make him blush, assessing him carefully. “But you’re too young for me.”
“Too young? Tch,” he looks you over again. “You’re what, twenty two?”
“Add six to that,” he raises a brow.
“You look good as shit.”
“Oh,” you’re lingering again, tugging at the too tight dress, acutely aware of how you’ve changed a bit since the kid.
Tits, hips, all just a little different from when you were his age, but his eyes seem to eat it up.
“Thank you,” you manage, sighing. “Just you’re a baby.”
He laughs now. “What!? A baby?”
“Mhm,” he’s chuckling and stands so damn tall suddenly – a good six inches on your husband, you can’t help but heat up. “A baby.”
“I’m not a fucking baby,” you raise a brow, earning his glare. “I’m not!?”
“You have on a varsity jacket, with a bud light in your hand,” you tap at the bottle and he scoffs. “What, twenty one? That shit is water.”
“You’re fuckin’ mean,” you just smile at that – you’ve never even been called mean, you were the perfect stepford wife really.
But maybe you like that.
Maybe you like him saying that to you.
“When you grow up you’ll get a finer palate, what are those, your fraternity brothers?”
“No!?”
Yes.
He is not about to let you run off though, so Sukuna leans down a bit, brushing a lock of your hair back, watching it take effect when your eyes dilate. “I’m twenty eight, I’m mentoring those two.”
“Twenty eight?”
“Yep,” he lies straight up, he’s not sure you even believe him. “Can I get you a drink or something?”
“Not bud light.”
“Not that,” he throws that out so fast you laugh. “Gone.”
“I see,” you settle a bit now, unsure if he’s real with it or not, but you do know he’s the first person to make you laugh since the shitshow of a divorce, so you ease up. “I’ll take a drink.”
You take two, in fact, as his other friends are dancing with girls, but his attention is locked on you, his tattoos catching your attention when he slings the jacket off and rolls up his sleeves. Rough hands, black lines darting along the back of them, up those veiny forearms that have your mind wandering.
God he’s hot, in this bad boy way you’d have never gone for when you were in college, no – you went for the ‘nice guy’ who was now fucking the babysitter.
Maybe your friends were right.
Maybe twitter porn could steer you into making this man whimper and cum in your mouth.
Maybe you’re feeling slutty and your mind is making you blush.
“Whatchya thinkin’?” You clear your throat now, leaning back a bit, crossing your legs as his gaze flickers over your thighs.
“Nothing really,” you lie, smiling. “I had a bad day.”
“I could tell.”
“Oh?”
“Easily,” he smirks down at you. “Probably why you’re so damn mean.”
“Maybe,” you admit, when the phone goes off – a text from your ex that your son is fast asleep, making you suddenly depressed. “Shit…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I…” You feel the emotions hit, sighing now. “I’m never away from my kid or anything.”
“Oh? Why tonight?”
“I now have every other weekend without him,” you sip your drink, feeling the warmth hit. “It’s just weird to me I guess.”
“Divorce?” He asks, you nod. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, just was out of nowhere,” you tap your nails on the table a little bit, his hand comes to brush a droplet off your lips, making you falter.
“That’s why you’re here drinking alone and shit, looking that fine?”
“Fine, hmm?” He just raises a slutty eyebrow – two little slits like he’d buzzed them himself. “Me?”
“Yes, you – annoying too.”
“Me!?”
“Mhm,” you shove at him playfully a bit then, sighing.
“If you weren’t a baby, maybe I’d let you fuck me.”
“Oh?” You hardly hold that together, the boldness that you feel with him, as he leans in, his hand on your thigh now, the contact alone making you drip. “If I wasn’t a ‘baby’?”
“Yeah, maybe I would,” your hand goes on top of his. “What a shame though, frat boy.”
“I’m not in a frat anymore,” you clock him too goddamn well. “Should show you just how much I am not a baby, yeah?”
“How are you gonna show me, Sukuna?” You lean close, lips a breath away, and that’s how you ended up here.
In a damn bathroom, pressed up on a marble countertop, with a frat boy plunging two fingers in your messy cunt, murmuring – “Arch f’me, brat”
Of course you arch.
His fingers are so thick and rough, finding spots your husband never even could, honing in on them as he leans over you, kissing you messy, sloppy, saliva just dripping between you both. Your breath catches in your throat as he drinks your pathetic whines, hitting your soft spot in those gummy walls that just quiver.
“Sukuna…” He moans at that, pressing up again, looking at your parted lips as his free hand tugs down your dress, letting a pretty tit slide out.
“Fuckin’ look at you,” he mumbles, they’re so pretty, his thumb brushes over one nipple in a circle, your head falls back for his lips to leave kisses on your throat, feeling you grip him. “So tight, been a while, huh?”
“Oh fuck off,” you breathe out, glaring as your thighs tremble, nails pressing into his jacket.
“Bet it has,” he’s grinning against your skin. “Did he not make you cum at all? Didn’t stretch your cunt out, so it’s this needy?”
“You’re a dick,” you whine out in his ear, arching for more as your cunt dribbles right down. “Such a d-dick…”
“Mhm, not a baby though – I know how to make you cum,” he arches his thick fingers one more time, curling them until you squirt, screaming out barely muffled, he laughs as he pulls back, raising a brow. “Aw, are you pissin’ on me, mommy?”
“You fucking freak!?” You kick at him, but you’re getting overstimulated, his laugh tickling your lips as he yanks his fingers back, shoving them in his own mouth, making yours drop. “You’re…”
“Taste so fuckin’ good,” he moans now, sucking your juices off, gripping your chin now. “Open.”
You do.
You open wide for a frat boy to spit in your mouth – what would the PTA think about this behavior, really!?
Nor the rest of that night, where he bent you over the sink, and fucked into your cunt – wearing a condom only because you made him, because fuck he wanted to hit it raw. Your taste swapping between your mouths as he fucked you against that sink, his cock stretching you, burning you in fact with how big it was, how hard it was to take him like that.
Throwing you around like it was nothing, fucking you and holding your hips as you peered at your slutty little reflection.
Mouth open.
Eyes narrowed.
Cheeks flushed.
Tits slipped from your neckline, one in a big hand as he pumped his latex covered cock inside you, until you shattered, squirting down his boxers, his jeans – he was so desperate he’d lick it off his fingers later for more. Busting in a condom when he’d rather creampie you, moaning your name all pathetic as you grip him better than anyone has before.
He’d been so damn breathless he was weak – him, Sukuna, who had girls just begging for him every night, kissing and wanting to snuggle with a stranger – a mom and divorcee clearly a few years older. Whatever you did to your cunt was frightening – kegels or some shit!? He wasn’t sure, all he knew was it was addictive, so much so as he threw out the condom and you rushed out, he fucking ran after you.
Yep, Sukuna running.
“Can’t just do that and not give me your number,” he’d caught you right in front of the bar, as you leaned against the wall, waiting for your ride to come. “Gonna make me beg for it?”
“It was amazing, yeah? You certainly can fuck,” you touched his lips, feeling the cool air hit. “But you’re young, and I’m a mess.”
“You were a mess on my cock-”
“And you’re an asshole!?”
“I am,” you laughed then, shaking your head. “Number.”
“For what?”
“Don’t you wanna feel that again?” He’d lifted your skirt up right there, you could feel the stickiness of your panties clinging to you as he leaned low. “Let me fuck all that sadness from your pretty head, milf.”
“Milf? Psh,” you’d given in though, taking out your phone. “Fine, give me your number.”
He saved you as that – Milf – with a sneak picture of your tits in that dress smirking while you were oblivious.
You end up saving him as – quarter life crisis.
“So any time I want it, you’ll just… fuck me? Like a fuck buddy or something?”
“Aw you’re so cute, mommy, have you never had one?”
“I have!?”
Not.
You were both liars, really.
“Fine then, we could be… that,” you managed to say, peeking around to see the ride there. “I have to get home though.”
“Text me, mommy?”
“Don’t fucking call me mommy, frat boy brat,” he laughed again.
“You’re the brat.”
“Me!? No,” you’d hopped in the back of the car, leaning back and shutting your eyes – unsure just what you had gotten yourself into, when the phone dinged about half an hour later.
Quarter life crisis – could I have a titty pic, please? I’m so hard and thinking of how pretty they are.
What a little shit.
*****
“This liar,” the address Sukuna sent you to the next week so you could ‘visit him’ on one of your days off while your kid was at school?
A goddamn frat house.
Alpha Beta Capa something or other, clear as day with the damn greek letters on the front of the enormous building, and here you are, with goddamn brownies you baked for him. You don’t know what to bring – it’s too early for wine, and you didn’t wanna come empty handed, but to bring it in a frat house!?
You were gonna look like one of their older sisters or something, embarrassing as shit, you were wearing a pretty simple little sundress too, due to the heat. Looking like Suzy Homemaker when this jerk of a man had indeed lied about being your age. You almost go to put the car in reverse and book it out when he comes running down the steps towards you.
Shit.
He’s waving his big ass arms, grinning even as you scowl over at him through your car window, he leans against it as you lower it carefully.
“Nice minivan, mommy.”
“Nice frat house you baby,” he glares so you roll up the window again, about to book it out as his psycho ass opens your door. “I can’t believe you’re such a little liar, ugh!”
“Well you wouldn’t have talked to me!? We’re barely even different in age, shit don’t go…” You have his big ass in your passenger now, leaning over and putting your car in park. “Seriously, I have my own room and bathroom, all that. Swear none of my friends will bother you.”
“What will this look like, me going in there!?”
“Cute,” is all he manages to say, eyeing your thighs in that dress – some little sunflower one he can’t wait to shove up your hips.
“Cute, hmm?”
“Very cute,” he hates the dumb shit you make him think of – domestic shit that he hoped not to even contemplate for years, but you’re such a damn pretty little wife right now. He can see why you got married young – though he can’t see why some dumbass would let you go. “Did you bake?”
“Yeah,” you mumble, looking back at the two pretty pioneer woman baking dishes you brought. “When I’m nervous I just start baking.”
“It smells good,” he leans close now, taking over everything in your mini van, really, far, far too close. “You smell good, too.”
“Do I?” You whisper, his lips a breath away.
Oh fuck.
You’d thought the drinks may have made it more intense, this feeling with Sukuna, but it wasn’t – you just want him. Inside you again, spitting in your mouth, picking you up and throwing you around like you’re a doll to him. You heat up when he uses two fingers, tilting up your chin.
“How long you got before you have to get the kid?”
“Like a couple hours,” you murmur, feeling guilty then.
He’s at school and you’re…
“Hey,” Sukuna cuts off your thoughts. “You’re allowed to have fun, yeah?”
“I don’t know, I feel so…”
“And what’s the dad doing?”
“Well, he doesn’t even have him often,” you sigh now, shutting your eyes. “He’s probably giving the babysitter bad dick, though.”
“Exactly, so you get your cute ass in here and bring these brownies, hmm?” You laugh, getting a little kiss as he pauses. “That okay outside of… sex?”
“Yes, if it’s okay with… you…” You shut your eyes now. “Imma liar too.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never had sex casually, or… a ‘friends with benefits’. If we’re friends, even… we’re still kinda strangers, huh?”
“So we both lied,” he teases, almost gently for a big, pretentious jerk like he seemed.
You nod, blushing, before shoving at him.
“I didn’t lie like you did! Twenty-eight my ass.”
“Did you really believe me?” You sigh and let him kiss you, and it feels too fucking good. “Be honest.”
Could you really separate sex from feelings, when your dumbass ex husband was the majority of your life? You had your wild phase before him, but it had all been dumbass fratboys who couldn’t make you cum.
Sukuna seemed different from what you remember then.
“Shut up,” that’s your answer as you turn your car off, and he’s chuckling. “We can hang out for an hour but I swear if one of your young ass frat brothers hears me or something!?”
“They won’t, come on.”
Oh, they don’t tease.
They simp over you bringing brownies in.
“Oh my god, for us!?” The white haired one grins and runs right over to you, taking one of the pans. “You’re so sweet, mommy.”
“God don’t call me that, you brats,” you grimace, the dark haired one taking the other gently, his eyes flickering over you.
“Hey pretty.”
You can’t help but blush a bit at him, as Sukuna scowls, shoving the pan in his hands as he smirks at you. “Don’t fucking hit on her you weirdos. Especially you, Suguru.”
“Why especially me?”
“At least she’d never take Satoru seriously.”
“Excuse me!?”
You snort just a bit at the cute man’s pout, they’re both setting the pioneer woman trays down, tearing them open and moaning as they shove their face full of your brownies.
“I’m gonna cum-”
“Satoru what the fuck!?” Suguru is snorting, moaning as he bites another piece.
“Divine.”
“Okay, go fuck yourselves now.”
"Aw, Kuna, don't be like that," the white haired one, apparently named Satoru, whines like a mad little brat, truly, batting his ridiculously long white lashes. "We just wanna get to know your new friend."
"Yeah," the other – apparently Suguru, says, his gaze a little too appreciative as it lingers on the curve of your waist in the dress, where Sukuna’s hand sits as if he can tell, yanking you against him. "She brought us gifts."
"They're for Sukuna," you say then, cheeks burning up at the attention of three hot men staring at you – all over six foot three, all far too handsome, really.
All on you.
It's been a long time since you've been looked at like this, for years you were damn near locked away – just a mom, and now you’re an ex-wife, but they clearly all find you and your brownies pretty damn hot.
You giggle when Sukuna squeezes you hard, tugging you away. “Leave me some, I have other things to eat first.”
“Sukuna!” You panic at that, he’s chuckling, throwing his head back as he leads you away from the kitchen, past two pyramids of red solo cups and bottles of beer from likely last night, towards a big, winding staircase.
“You don’t like getting eaten?”
“I um…”
You’re older than him.
You’re the experienced one in life – you can’t act like some blushing virgin when you’ve had an entire baby and a marriage.
“They heard you!”
“They’ll probably jerk off to the thought,” you follow him up, heading to his room – surprisingly clean, and bigger than you’d expect.
Mostly it smells like his cologne.
You already like that scent too much.
He shuts the door and then turns to you, smirking a bit, pressing you against it, his hand on one side of your head, the other slipping down your bare shoulder, making you gasp. "Now… where were we?"
You're nervous already, your heart hammering in your chest, pulse flaring underneath the brush of his thumb when it brushes behind your ear.
All that bravery out the window, you gotta get it back.
So you smile – real mean.
"I think we were discussing,” your teasing fingers slip down his abdomen, making it tense, his lips parting. “What a little liar you are."
He smirks at that, raising a slutty ass eyebrow and leaning down until his lips are just a breath away. "You’re so mean when you know I could be so sweet to you.”
“You, sweet?”
“Mhm,” he kisses your mouth, just a tease, your nails pressing into your palms at how good it feels. “I think we were discussing me eating your pretty lil cunt."
“Eating my…” He nips at your bottom lip with sharp teeth, leaving little indentations as you gasp out, nails pressing into his shoulders, whines escaping your lips. “My…”
“Pussy, is that better?”
“Maybe,” you sigh into his mouth now, letting him take you over – less frantic than the other night at the club, slower, more deliberate.
He kneels right down, looking up at you, smiling as he watches color blossom on your skin.
“Shouldn’t I be on my knees?” You try to tease.
You’re the one who gives.
You know you can suck dick.
Yet this man loves to throw you the fuck off.
He pushes the little sundress up, bunching it around your waist, usually ruby eyes dark and locked in on the pretty panties you have on, seeing how damp they already are with your sticky arousal. He toys with it a bit, rubbing the stickiness and humming, as your hips arch.
“Sukuna… you’re staring…”
“Fuck yes I am, I didn’t see her that night,” he’s throbbing as he hooks his fingers in the waistband of them, smirking. “Cute lil panties.”
“Mean…”
“I’m serious, who doesn’t love cotton, boring ass panties?”
“Meaner!”
He chuckles and eases them down your thighs until they pull around your ankles, helping you out of them now. “Should I buy you lingerie?”
“Should you?” You manage to tease back – and then he does something your ex-husband never, ever did.
He licks you.
"Fuckin' gorgeous," he murmurs with his mouth full of your juices, more to himself than to you really – your pussy is all puffy and begging for attention, your dress falling now. “Hold it up.”
“Hold it…”
“I said,” he leans in and licks a long, slow stripe up your messy slit, groaning as that taste coats his tongue. “Hold the fuckin’ dress up.”
You do that nervously, your hands slipping into his soft pink hair, tangling in the strands and tugging as he licks you again, deliberately slow, making you so sensitive. "Sukuna! What…”
“I’m eating as I said,” he throws a thigh over his shoulder, his groan vibrating against you, having your thighs tremble, one pressing against his face as he prepares to bury it. “Taste so sweet for a mean fuckin’ brat.”
“Sukuna…” You’re done for when he drags your ass against his face, his chin pressing on your slutty lil hole, tongue slipping up to your clit, mouth wrapping the twitchy lil thing, it jumps for him.
“Hah,” he laughs softly, teeth nipping it, making you smack at him, just making him harder.
“Don’t bite it!?”
“Have you had your pussy eaten?” He asks again, brows together as he slurps you up. “Be honest.”
“No, okay?” He pauses now, pulling back with little strings of your slick dissolving from too plump lips, fucking you up. “I know.”
“Never?”
“No,” you manage to say. “I’m not inexperienced, just…”
“How he didn’t eat this every day, you baking brownies for this mother fucker and sucking him?”
You sigh.
“Yes.”
“Oh fuck him,” you giggle then, suddenly relaxing a bit. “There you go, ease up – I’ll make you cum, hmm?”
“Please…”
“You’re only sweet when your clit is throbbing,” you scoff, but it’s cut off, when he’s licking you again – messier and messier, devouring you, you’re already so close it’s embarrassing. "Look at you… Feel good, mommy?”
“Swear to god you brat,” you shove his head closer, surprising him and yourself, rolling your hips, chasing more of that high, as he palms his cock, groaning. “There, there! Mnh! S-shut you up… hah…”
“Mmm,” he thinks he’s in love when he laps more of you up, greedy, loud sounds that echo in his room, as he lifts you up and pins your hips on the wall, your thighs on either side of his head.
“I’m gonna fall!”
“You’re not,” he chuckles as he holds you up on that wall, you’re damn near panicking at the strong, giant of a man pinning you. “You can take it, just hold on to my hair.”
“Shit, okay,” you never thought in your late twenties you’d be held up on a wall at this tall ass height like it’s nothing, with a handsome fratboy’s face buried in your cunt.
Yet, here you are.
You care much less about your divorce with every flick of his tastebuds against you, shattering for him as he pushes you over the edge.
“Too much, too much!”
“Shh,” he pulls back a bit, easing you down, his chin is slick with your wetness – face so wet it’s embarrassing. "Already falling apart and I haven't even fucked you yet, huh? So fuckin' sensitive." He picks you up again differently, so that your thighs wrap his hips, carrying you to his bed and laying you down. “Still a little ‘baby’?”
“No,” you admit, whining out when he shoves two thick fingers in your spasming walls, curving them against that spot that makes you see stars, like he’s already learned your body. “Not a baby…”
“That’s what I thought,” he leans over you, kissing you and letting your juices spit right in your mouth, you so eagerly open for him it should be embarrassing.
“Mnh…”
"He really never did this for you?" He asks then, chuckling as you squirt down his fingers again, dripping dark spots on his blankets.
“N-no,” you mumble, gasping out, dizzy when he yanks his fingers out of your mess, slapping your cunt and making you hiss. “Ah!”
"You still with me, mommy?" he teases, earning your glare.
"Shut up," you mumble, tugging at his zipper and leaning up. "Fuck me, you brat."
“You’re so needy,” his cock is so pretty and thick you whine out, your body sure remembers that challenge.
Oh, you want it again.
“Condom again?” He asks sadly. “I could give you another baby-”
“Sukuna!”
“What, cum would be sexy in your hole,” he spreads it and pouts. “I’m good if you’re worried.”
“Mmm… cumming in me, I…” You blush. “You could pull out?”
“Tragic,” you laugh again, as he runs the fat, reddened head of his cock through your slick folds, nudging your clit to tease you, making you drool even more.
“Fine, condom then.”
“No!? I’ll pull out,” he smirks, thinking of cumming all over your cunt and shoving it back in.
Toxic shit.
You’re already fucking with him.
“Fuck me already – ah!”
“Shut it brat,” he groans when his cock shoves inside deep in one go, feeling how wet you are, still pulsing from cumming earlier.
For a moment, Sukuna just whimpers.
“Did you… whimper?”
“I’ll beat your ass next time,” he glares, biting your neck and grabbing your thighs rough, pushing deeper into you, stretching you out so damn good it burns. “Didn’t whimper, you’re the one squirting all over.”
“Am not – ah!” The fucker slams into you hard, three, four, five times, before yanking out and laughing sadistically, slapping his cock in the squirting mess he’s made your cunt. “Sukuna…”
“So fuckin’ messy, just washed these, tsk,” he’s ruining you with every mean thrust, it’s better than that night.
Even better than he remembered.
No condom, so he can feel the texture of those gummy walls and how they grip him, ruining him with every stroke, shoving your dress higher when you tug it down, making him pause.
“Covering up?” He glares, and you blush, letting him shove it up again. “Wanna see my cock inside you.”
“I have stretch marks and… ah!” He pauses, scowling and gripping your hips. “Sukuna…”
“Don’t start that shit,” he trails his fingers down one, making you suddenly a little emotional, swallowing nervously.
You never thought they’d be called anything but unattractive.
“They’re cute,” he murmurs, breaking you then. “So cute I wanna cum on them, hah.”
You giggle at that. “Slutty ass boy.”
“Now shut up and lemme see you,” he mumbles, already pussy drunk – he throws you in every position – doggy, prone bone, mating press, fucking every memory out of your mind, having you squirt and gush till he pulls out.
He cums all over your skin, painting it in pretty white patterns, until you’re a fucking mess.
It’s hard to leave Sukuna that day, knees wobbly, skin still sticky in places, you swear the man came everywhere.
“So, that titty pic?” He asks then, you laugh, trying to brush out your hair in the mirror, fixing your dress to look presentable.
“I’ll send you one tonight.”
*****
Oh, you send Sukuna titty pics.
Pussy pics.
Soon you get a jerk off video.
Soon he can’t get your pretty self out of his goddamn head, nibbling on cookies you made him last time you came over, when you sucked him dumb and dry, taking all nine inches in your throat like a pro. When you had him whining like a little bitch and fucking your throat till he couldn’t move.
Sukuna stares at a picture now, sighing.
This can’t just be sex – he needs more of you.
*****
Two weeks later
Sukuna's gripping your waist tight with his huge hands, moaning as you glide right down on his cock, stretching your puffy lips right around him as he lays back in the front seat of the car, cursing at how good it feels.
"Sh-shit... slow down, you fuckin' brat..." He's gasping as you quiver right around him, whining out, your lashes fluttering closed.
"Don't have t-time... soccer game, gotta go to..." He slams you down hard then, pinning you and glaring. "I h-have to take him to..."
"It's not till six, will you slow the fuck down," he bites the shit out of you, buried deep in your tacky lil walls, his own eyes closing at how good you feel. "You told me six."
"But it's five and - ngh! Gonna cum, gonna-"
"No you're not," he grins as you gasp out, pinning you and not moving. "Not till I say."
"You're so annoying," you knew fucking a frat boy a good six years younger than you was stupid, but right now as he's attention seeking and pouty? And you know you need to hop right to your damn mini van and clean up before you get your kid?
You know then especially how stupid this is.
If you just didn't get drunk that night and if he didn't lie and say he was twenty eight...
No, you'd have still fucked him. But now? He's clingy.
Every day for two weeks he writes you nonstop, half the time you’re working or with your kid, and you feel guilty indulging. As a mom, that’s all you were really supposed to do, the marriage was supposed to be it for you. Yet here you are, trembling as he bites your skin, his fingers pressing into your hips, rocking that thick cock up inside you.
You loved hearing from him – your lips would curve, your cheeks would heat up, but you tried your best to shove it down, to focus. Your messages quick, you even have avoided him altogether after a particular time when you’d laid in his arms and he held you tight, and you realized you didn’t wanna leave, not at all.
“Me, annoying? You always leave me,” your hands tug at his locks of hair, entangling and pulling at the root, his breath hot as he trails messy kisses down your chest. “Always runnin’ off, why?”
“Have to – busy, mngh….” you shatter with one more push inside you, gasping out at how good it feel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”
“Wanna go on a date…”
You pause now, blinking as you come down. “What!?”
“Yeah, that so crazy? You barely go anywhere, anyway,” you scoff at that, but it turns into a pathetic little whine as he fucks you faster, leaning back and lifting you up just to drag you back down on it. “Lemme take you out, brat, shit…”
“I can’t, what if – ah! They see me with… younger and…”
“You look my age, just got these,” he grips your hips and smirks. “Maybe they are breedable.”
“You’re hanging out with Gojo too much – ah!”
“Saying someone else’s name while I fuck you? No,” he’s pinning you down now, his tip grazing your sensitive cervix, biting your nipple until it’s bruised.
“Ow!”
“Attention on me,” he orders, as if he’s not desperate and pathetic for you – for just how pretty you are, how good you smell, god even the cookies you bake.
He can’t take it.
“Who’s makin’ you cum like this?” He asks now, a hand on the back of your neck, shoving you down again, tugging your hair at the nape until your juices spill. “Answer me.”
“You,” he smirks – the only sweetness he gets is when you’re fucked out. “You are, Sukuna.”
“So then keep your eyes on me, ah-ah, don’t shut them,” he makes you keep the eye contact, even as your own threaten to flutter closed. “That’s it, gonna make me cum just lookin’ at me.”
“You talk so much shit,” you whisper, but you’re done for when he pulls out, your mess coating him, tip gliding through your slit. “Mnh!”
“Where am I cumming?” He begs to bust inside you, but you’re terrified that somehow you’ll get pregnant or something, even though clearly Sukuna liked that idea.
He was an idiot.
You pull off and he moans.
“Gonna swallow me?”
“Yes,” you whisper, letting him shove the seat back even more as you sink down, lapping your own slick from his veiny shaft.
“God, slutty brat – licking your pussy off like that,” you swirl your tongue around that fat head, he’s jerking he’s so sensitive, cupping your face. “Slutty for me, all for me, huh?”
“You talk a lot when you’re about to cum,” he glares and you suck him, moaning. “Cum, Sukuna, lemme swallow.”
“Mmngh,” he’s not sure what sound you elicit this time, pumping all his cum into your eager mouth, you swallow all of it, greedy with it, moaning around him – so greedy you lap up every drop, cleaning his cock completely. “Look at you, love it, huh? Sucking your cunt off?”
“Maybe,” you admit, flushed when he tugs you back up, kissing his own cum off your mouth.
Sukuna was a freak.
But maybe you were, too.
For him.
You’re kissing messy as your phone alarm goes off, and he’s pouting as you rush over to your minivan – you can’t believe you’re fucking in the car like you’re back in fucking high school or college. He catches you though before you can open the door, turning you and pinning you, tilting your chin up.
“Sukuna I have to-”
“Go on a date with me,” he grunts those words. “No more dick if you won’t.”
“What!? I thought we were fuck buddies?”
“I feel used, like a cheap slut.”
“Maybe you are. Ow!” He’s bit your neck again. “Brat!”
“You go out with me, don’t make me beg, shit,” you sigh, rolling your eyes.
“Why want to go out with-”
“Did I fuck your milf brain stupid?” You smack him, making him moan – he’s a fucking freak. “God, do that again.”
“No!? Ugh, I’ll go if you stop asking and let me leave, one date,” you sigh then, shaking your head. “It’s dumb though, what if someone tells him and-”
“The man fucking a girl half his age?” You blush at that now. “Sorry we’re not about to compare six years to that.”
“He’ll say something-”
“Let him,” he grins all psychotically. “I’d love to meet him.”
“Oh I bet you would,” you ease back now, looking up at him as you lean against the mini van door. “I’ll go out to dinner, I just need a new sitter.”
“Let Gojo watch-”
“Gojo!? No! He’s not responsible enough!”
“I’ll tell him you think that,” you glare. “Break his twinky little heart.”
“You will not even,” you shove at him now. “I’ll get a sitter for Friday night for a few hours, okay? Dinner or whatever…”
“Good, then you’ll get more dick,” you snort and turn away from him, not before he drags your ass back against him, kissing up your neck, wrapping you too tight.
You have so many feelings already you feel dumb.
A date will make them worse.
Yet, he had a point – why were you holding back, so worried what everyone would think when your husband really did get an entire pass from the world?
“Give me a real goodbye, yeah?” You let him tilt your chin. “Kiss me.”
You do, moaning and arching against him, lost for a moment before pulling back, looking at him. “I’ll see you Friday.”
“Mhm, enjoy your soccer game, mommy,” you bite his lower lip hard, making him tug back as you scowl, hopping in your driver’s seat.
Sukuna is in love when you flip him off pulling out.
*****
“What are you doing here?” Of fucking course – the one date you go on, your damn husband would be there with her.
She’s smiling and giggling, looking at Sukuna who ignores her completely, trying to introduce herself as your husband leans over, talking to you in a hushed tone.
“I’m on a date,” you answer calmly, smiling. “You?”
“Where is our son!?”
“With a fucking sitter, are you serious,” you stand then, scowling as Sukuna tenses up next to you. “Come on.”
“What?”
“Now,” you drag him over to a quieter part of the restaurant, heart racing – tonight had been fun.
Actual fun.
Yeah, Sukuna made you cum, and yeah, he was handsome, but the amount of fun you’ve had tonight alone? Even the drive there?
You haven’t felt that shit in years.
You’re not letting your ex fuck it up.
“What the hell is your problem?” you whisper – once you’re away from all the people just trying to have dinner, in one of the hallways leading to the bathrooms.
“My problem? You’re on a date, with a kid!?” He glares over at Sukuna, who’s sitting at your table, calmly sipping the whiskey you’d ordered for him, his eyes fixed on the two of you rather than your ex husband’s girlfriend, who is desperately trying to get noticed. “With our son with a sitter, so you can go out and have fun?”
“Like you don’t! You only have him four days a month!”
“Because you’re a mother, I’m…”
“The dad!?”
“Exactly, it’s not okay for you.”
You scoff then, in disgust as you look up at him, narrowing your eyes.
“He’s twenty-two, and I’m ten years younger than you, how can you say anything about age to me? When there’s a whole child over there.”
“Really?” He flinches as if you’ve wounded him, brows drawing together now, trying to make you feel guilty like he always used to.
It doesn't work anymore.
“That’s not fair. This is about our son. I don’t want some random guy around him.”
“He’s not met him, but you lost the right to have an opinion on who I spend my time with the second you decided to stick your dick in the babysitter,” he glares now – that whole show gone from his face, leaning low over you.
“As if you can keep a man, with how you are? Taking care of yourself now I see, you didn’t dress up for me, did you?”
“Because you made me hate myself,” you whisper, tears stinging your eyes. “You made me insecure, and feel less than.”
“Get some dick and think you’re the hottest?”
“I did finally get to cum,” you admit, smiling all mean right at him now, making him scowl. “And I got eaten out, so I do feel good, yeah.”
“As if you-”
“I’ve had enough,” you cut him off now. “You wanted to be done with me, you wanted to move on – you get it. We will only talk about our son, other than that? It’ll be like we were never together, it’s what you wanted.”
“Wait,” he grips your wrist, irritating you more. “Just wait, shit… maybe,” he looks across your body now. “Maybe I didn’t give you enough attention, but if I knew you could look this good? I wouldn’t have just been with her-”
“You were with her before!?” He sighs, shutting his eyes now. “During…”
“Maybe I gave up too fast, and-”
“No,” you clear your throat, shoving past him now. “Thank you.”
“Thank you?”
“For leaving me,” you say, smiling – even though the shit hurts. “It’s the best thing you’ve done besides give me my son.”
He calls your name but it’s too late, you look over at the girl you now know fucked your man, during your marriage – but you feel bad for her if anything, especially when Sukuna outright ignores her, and your husband is stomping back over.
“I hope you get better than him,” you say to her quietly, she blinks, looking your way. “Good luck with that for now, though.”
“I…”
“Let’s go,” he yanks her away, leaving you to take a breath, as Sukuna’s hand brushes across your upper thigh.
“Hey, everything okay?”
“It’s fine now,” you open your eyes and look at him, picking up that glass of wine and downing half of it in one go. “Just some shit left unsaid – ex-husband drama.”
“Figured it was,” he says, his eyes flicking over to where your ex is now standing awkwardly with his girlfriend, who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.
“She must think you’re hot.”
“She’s not my type,” you giggle now, as his eyes level at you. “What, surprised?”
“She’s pretty, all sweet, bouncy and happy-”
“Maybe I like mean ass, twenty eight year old moms,” you snort at that, rolling your eyes. “Ones who fuck me and t hen run off.”
“I shouldn’t run off on you,” you admit softly, your hand over his, making his own heart race.
Fuck you look pretty right now.
“He looks like he cries after he cums,” you gasp.
“What!?”
“Can he even keep it hard?”
“It wasn’t much to write home about,” you admit, laughing now.
“Small dick and didn’t eat pussy?”
“Sukuna! Oh my god, you’re horrible.”
“Nah, just observant,” he leans forward, all his attention on you – as if the rest of the restaurant, including your shitty, fuming ex isn’t even there. “You handled that shit, fuck… it was so hot to see you put him in his place.”
“It was?” You ask then, softly.
“It was,” you sigh, kissing him right in front of whoever could see. “Made me leak precum.”
“God!”
He throws back his head, laughing like a damn psycho, earning plenty of looks he doesn’t seem to care about.
You fucking really like this psycho too don’t you?
You daresay you fell that night – but Sukuna’s conceited ass didn’t need to know that just yet.
“I wanna keep having fun with you tonight,” you whisper, eyes flickering as he cups your face.
“Then we will.”
*****
You make sure your son is asleep and the babysitter is paid before you let Sukuna in, the door that opens right to your bedroom, giggling as you put a finger to his lips as he moans, trying to kiss you that night.
“Shh,” you whisper, tugging him in and locking the door. “If you wake him up I’ll beat you.”
“Please?”
“Freak,” you kiss him again, sighing as he takes over your entire room with just how big he is, memories scattered across the room you once shared with your husband.
How long had he done it?
How long did he not care?
The thoughts clearly get to you – Sukuna pulls back, looking and swallowing a bit nervously, tilting his head as he cups your face, your hands on his wrists, quiet in the dark of your room.
“He’s across the house but we still need to be-”
“What’s wrong?”
You sigh now, shaking your head, making his lips press together.
“Tell me now, brat.”
“Just some things he said, got me in my head,” you blink tears, one rushing across his thumb. “I don’t wanna ruin the night.”
“You won’t,” he murmurs, stepping back now, taking off his shoes, his jacket, unbuttoning his shirt and studying you. “No dick tonight.”
“Rude!?” He snorts, walking to you once he’s in his boxers, turning you to unzip your dress, letting it fall, leaving you just in the little pair of panties you had – ones he ordered you.
“You wore them, huh?”
“Yeah,” you let him tug you against him. “Why no dick?”
“You’re upset,” your heart falters now.
No way a frat boy understood you better than your man ever did.
Then again, Sukuna was a real man – your ex?
A boy in his thirties.
“What’d the dumb fuck say?”
“Just that no one will stay,” you choke up just a bit as he grips you so tight it hurts, exhaling. “You should head home, or I’ll go sleep in the-”
“No.”
“But I’m a mess,” you turn and he sees your tears, so fucking mad he can’t think. “I’m crying, it’s not sexy.”
“I’m not leaving,” he says again, softer now. “Get in bed.”
“Oh,” you murmur, climbing into the bed, sniffling when he slides under the covers, wrapping you in his big arms, your tears falling on tanned skin, letting him kiss up your cheek, to your temple. “You don’t have to just hold me.”
“Maybe I want to, always leaving me and shit,” you sigh. “Mean mommy.”
“Swear to god, I’ll kick you,” he snorts, kissing your lips again, making you melt in his hold. “Thank you, Sukuna.”
“Mhm, make me breakfast in the morning,” you giggle, sniffling again as you snuggle against his chest. “Pancakes, mmm. Will you?”
“I will, absolutely. I guess you can meet my kid.”
“Is he a brat like you?”
“He’s worse.”
*****
“STRANGER DANGER!”
“OW – SHIT, BRAT WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!”
Oh…
Fuck.
That wakes you up out of a dead sleep as you realize with horror – your son just met your… kind of new boyfriend!? – before you could even introduce him.
“I’ll beat you, mommy! Are you OKAY!?”
“You’re mommy is fine you little shit, ow! Stop kicking me before I head lock your little ass-”
“Sukuna!” You glare, crossing your arms and raising a brow at Sukuna as your kid kicks him again, making you shout his name.
“Sorry mommy,” they both say, making you sigh, walking over and picking your son up, letting him hug you as Sukuna rubs his sore shins.
“It’s okay, Sukuna is, well…” You sigh, setting him down now, looking into his eyes as you get to his level. “He may be mommy’s new boyfriend.”
“I am!?”
“He is!?”
“What’s that mean, kid?” Sukuna shoves at him again, you smack at his hand.
“No pancakes.”
“But-”
“Be nice,” he grumbles an apology, as you look at your son again, smiling. “Mommy has been pretty sad since everything, and he’s made me very happy. Is it okay if he hangs out for breakfast?”
“Can I kick him again?”
“You have a demon child!” Your son laughs and your lips quirk up, affection and something more for Sukuna really tugging at you as you see his flushed cheeks.
Damn you may be really falling for a fratboy.
What sort of quarterlife crisis was this, really?
Well, whatever it was – you are going to enjoy it.
“Say hi, and I’ll cook you both breakfast,” you stand up and put a hand on Sukuna’s shoulder, smiling sleepily as he puts one at your waist for a brief moment. “Good morning, Sukuna.”
“Morning – he attacked me, jumped on me and shit,” your kid sticks his tongue out at the big man. “Does he not get his ass beat? You gentle parenting?”
“I am indeed gentle parenting,” you shove him playfully. “Go wash up before breakfast, baby.”
“Yes mommy!”
“Acting all nice now,” Sukuna’s eyes narrow, you go to cook when he pauses you. “Am I really your boyfriend?”
“If you wanna be, yeah,” he grins all big – achingly cute before he decides to be a perv and pinch your ass instead. “Hey!”
“What a dumb question…” He kisses you quick, sighing against your lips, tummy growling.
“I better feed your ass – go sit.”
“Yes, mom-”
“Sukuna!?”
“Ahem – yeah fine, brat,” he can’t stop the grin on his face – not even when your kid fucks with him again, you look way too cute cooking in the kitchen.
Sukuna could be a stepdad, right?
Beat some sense into your kid, and give you another <3
Patreon for original fics - Kofi link for comms <3
◟in which◝ your boyfriend adores how smart you are, always buried in your studies—he loves it so much he can’t get the thought of fucking you dumb out of his mind
•﹙ 518 ﹚── boyfren! jay ✶ 𝑓. reader┊ custom order 📋 𝒘arnings. . . explicit sexual content smut (mdni) ✿ unprotected sex ﹕ dumbification ﹕ spanking ﹕ hair pulling ﹕ creampie ﹕ nerd!reader ig ❤︎
the sight of you hunch over your textbooks, brows furrow as you concentrate, silently mouthing the words you read drives jay insane. he loves how intelligent you are, how quick-witted you are. but the only thing he could think of right now—after being away so long due to his tour schedule—is how beautiful you look when he fucks you dumb.
"aww what's the matter, baby? am i going too hard on you?" he taunts, his hips snapping forward, fingers gripping your waist hard enough to bruise as he bury himself deeper inside you.
you couldn't speak even if you wanted to, the only sounds coming from your mouth are broken moans and choked sobs, tears streaming down your face the harder he fucked you.
"it’s alright, baby…" he pants, gripping your hair, tugging it back as he drills into you, your spine arching into his pull. "gonna fuck every thought out that pretty head of yours."
the bed creaks softly, headboard tapping against the wall every time your body jolts forward from each thrust. the wet rhythmic sounds of his hips snapping against your skin echoing in the room.
he could feel your walls clenching around him, your body betraying you the faster he pounds into you, the tip his cock kissing your cervix each time.
"you like being fucked like this, don't you?" he grunts, his grip on your hair tightens, forcing you to look up at him. “like being fucked this dumb for me."
you could only offer a sob in response, cheeks stained with tears as your eyes threatening to flutter shut from the overwhelming pleasure. your body was on fire, you could feel everything times ten the deeper he fucked you, hands scrambling to grab ahold of something. anything.
"p-please... i can't—i'm..." you whimper, the words cut off by another sharp moan. you hear him chuckle over the ringing in your ears, the smug look on his face. your breathing grew heavy and uneven, body trembling as your walls grip tightly around his cock.
"gonna cum for me already, baby?" he laughs, his thrusts growing frantic, not daring to slow down his movements. you nodded frantically, body completely wrecked, sheets clinging to your skin from the sweat.
"use your words," he commanded, a sharp smack meeting your ass, leaving a lingering mix of pain and pleasure against your cheek.
"mhmm—yes—fuck, please,” you babble, moaning louder, tears prickled at the corner of your eyes.
his pace sharped up, hand sliding between your bodies, fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles. it didn't take long for you to shatter soon after, walls pulsing around his length, jaw slacked as a breathy sob tore from your throat.
jay's orgasm follows behind only seconds later, his head tips back, a low and ragged groan filling your ears. he buries himself deep inside of you, releasing thick ropes, stuffing you to the brim.
"you did so good, princess" he breathes, voice shaky, pulling out enough for his cum to leak out and spill onto the sheets. he leans forward and presses a kiss against your temple. "so damn good for me…”
synopsis: Jay doesn't bother with the usual sugar daddy theatrics you're used to. You both know what you signed up for.
genre: smut
pairing: sugardaddy!jay x sugarbaby!reader
warning: explicit sexual content, sugar daddy relationship, transactional sex, power imbalance, restraint, rough sex, degradation, objectification, bruising, pain,(lowkey but not really) financial exploitation??
authors note: ladies and gentlefriends, I give you, the antithesis to sugardaddy!hongjoong. this was just supposed to be a lil blurb but I def wanna write more cuz I kinda love mean condescending hard dom sugar daddy jay :/
word count: 357
Jay doesn't bother with the usual sugar daddy theatrics you're used to. You both know what you signed up for.
There's no soft landing, no "how was your day" small talk, no pretense that this was anything other than what it was.
You're bent over the edge of the dresser, the brand new crocodile Birkin you asked for—still in the iconic orange box—sitting off to the side where you’d placed it earlier.
He wanted you to see it while he fucked you.
One hand keeps your wrist pinned behind your back while the other holds your head against the hardwood, angled toward the bag.
His hips snap into yours, quick and brutal, knocking a strangled moan out of you with each stroke. The force is relentless and deep, and your thighs shake from the sheer impact of it.
Jay likes that, you've learned. You can already feel the dull ache blooming across your hip bones where your pelvis keeps slamming into the edge of the table. It's going to bruise tomorrow.
He knows it.
He doesn't slow down.
"You like that new bag, don't you?" he grits out from behind, voice low and rough.
You can't talk. You can barely breathe. The hand in your hair ensures you can't nod either.
"Pretty little thing cost more than most people make in a year. And all you had to do was spread your legs for it."
He’s not looking for a response, but you answer anyway, pulling your feet apart, spreading your legs even wider.
He huffs out a small laugh, then fucks you even harder, getting all his money’s worth. The wet slap of skin on skin echoes through your room.
Proud and happy to be a Yoongi bias once again. The man who uses his riches to build hospitals and help children on the spectrum through music. The man who shares his own mental struggles so others wouldn’t feel alone and who says it’s okay to cry because he'll always root for us. The man who hugs a crying grandma because she misses her grandson. The man who posts tang on International cat day, a day that is for reminding people to be a responsible pet parents and to adopt not shop. The man who drives his bestie to the hospital and pays for his bills because he couldn’t afford it and he doesn’t even want the money back (during a time where he himself wasn’t that rich yet). The man who supports former female producers of Bighit when she wants to go solo (Adora). Also the man who says stuff like "men are dissapointing". The man who cares so silently for his friends by cooking for them, always having an open ear, driving them around and making their homes better through building furniture. The man who makes a talkshow just so his friends can have a platform to talk on. And who then also has female guests on said show who he treats with respect and honour. The man who cares and loves and has a gentle heart. And who treats all his female friends with respect (and who also publicly has the most female friends which you know what they say about a man who women want to be friends with yadayada)
Once again proud to have Yoongi as my ult since 2016. That will never change. My heart is Yoongi shaped. It will always stay Yoongi shaped.
𝑺𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ✶ when you’re scouted to work for hotline 1OO9–a sex phone line—you don’t have much of a choice, rent is due and you’re jobless. But without any background or skills, you’re slowly loosing control. Surely your nice colleagues can teach you their ways, right? ✶ minors do not interact ⸝⸝
☏ 1 - 9OO - 99O DIRTY TALK
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: enhypen x 𝒇. reader 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : porn with plot, smut, reverse harem. 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : phone sex operators (sex workers), gang bang (not all 7), two people sex, oral, handjob, cockwarming, dom/sub dynamics, switch reader, phone sex, lots of dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex, fxf (with a client, just talk), mxm (heejake) degradation, praising, exhibitionism, voyeurism, reader listens to Riki on the phone with a client, they all just horny as fuck, alcohol, clubbing, consent 𝐰𝐜 : ( 20𝑘 ) not proofread
“Ain’t no way. I thought we left sex hotlines in the 70s man.”
Is the first thing your friend says when you tell her you have a new job and you’re starting on monday. She leans closer, eyes a little too wide in your opinion and shakes her head like she’s just heard the dumbest thing ever. Which, granted is a sane reaction giving the bomb you just dropped on her, but if she knew the story behind it, she’d be even more shocked.
It all started a couple days ago in the subway. A bit Squid Game themed if you’re being honest, hence the weird feeling you’re still nursing. You were on the phone with your cousin, waiting for the next wagon to arrive and talking about the awful rent prices. Having just been fired from a corporate job for—and I quote—“not being smiley enough and using way too much sarcasm” (in your defense you only use it when someone’s being actively rude to you), you were left with unpaid debts and way too many bills. So you spent the entire commute shit talking the HR with your cousin, occasionally getting nasty looks from old people passing by.
At some point, the wagon started emptying and when your stop came, you were left alone in the station with a man in a suit. You didn’t pay him any mind, busy spewing nonsense about how the HR ‘had ugly eyebrows and a micropenis anyway’, but when you headed for the exit, you felt a hand on your shoulder.
You remember turning around and having to look up because of how tall the man was. He was carrying a leather briefcase like he was headed to work and when his hand dropped to his side again you clocked the expensive-looking watch on his wrist.
“Excuse me?” he said, all serious.
You looked at him up and down, tilting your head to the side so he could see the very obvious phone pressed to your ear—your way of saying ‘read the room’. But he didn’t in fact ‘read the room’, instead his hand dove in his suit pocket and he dug out a square-shaped piece of paper. It was some sort of business card, a yellow piece of paper with the words ‘Hotline 1OO9’ in the middle and a name on top. Park Jongseong. He held his hand out and adjusted his tie with the other one.
“Let me call you back hold on.” you told your cousin, scoffing before you hung up and put the phone in your back pocket. “Yes?”
The man gave a curt nod and spoke, “I don’t want to come across as weird or sound like a creep, but I’ve been listening to your voice on the subway and I was really interested by the rasp—”
“I’m tired, I wanna go home, so if this is a scam i’m really not in the mood and you can fuck off.” you cut him, sighing aggravated.
“It’s not. I run a freelance company, we work over the phone with clients and I really found your voice interesting, with all due respect. So I decided to just come talk to you, see if you were interested in the whole thing. I’m not really big on scouting people in the street because this is delicate but we’re a…sex hotline company. But you just sounded too good for me to walk away, I hope that’s not disrespectful.” the man explained, lips coming in a tight line.
You rolled your eyes, slightly offended that he thought this was a good idea and you grabbed your phone again, ready to leave, “I’m not interested, thank you.”
He must’ve felt the prejudice in your eyes when you heard the sex work part so he drew his hand back, giving you a little more space, “Its not a cam-girl company or anything. Our staff is mainly men and they only interact with clients on the phone. But i’ll leave you alone, have a good day.”
You nodded, lips drawn in a tight line and you reciprocated the farewell, turning around to head for the exit. But before you could walk up the stairs, the man spoke again.
“It pays well. You know, rent is getting awfully high these days… and my company takes this into consideration. How does 5O,OOO a year sound?”
The bastard.
Needless to say you took the business card, feigning indifference, and the second you got back home you turned on your computer.
You were jobless and on a very thin line money wise, so naturally you had to look into a it a little bit, or else you’d risk ending up in the streets because no company voluntarily seeks out a girl with a diploma so weak. A generic business diploma from a low-ranked private school wasn’t going to cut it, you knew it—so desperate times called for a little reddit deep dive.
The several Google searches didn’t give much detail, just a cryptic website with a phone number and a list of employee names with no picture whatsoever. But when you saw the date of creation of the company, you deduced that it was a very new one and so the website was new aswell.
It was weird really, that guy—you assumed his name was Park Jongseong— was fairly young, why would he go out of his way to create a sex phone line company in 2026? It was pretty much a dead practice, no one sought it out anymore and preferred watching porn or cam girls. What was the point of competing with only fans and trying to revive a dead business?
You typed the company name on reddit anyway, trying to see if this had any sort of Squid Game resemblance, if you were getting yourself into a dangerous survival game or something. But nothing much came up, just a 2 weeks old comment saying,
‘I’m surprised they still do these sex hotline things, I was interested and booked an appointment out of curiosity and as a 63 year old man, it brought so many 80s memories! The downside is that there’s only one woman worker there. But for the homosexual folks, the guys sound very hot ;)’
Well. At least it wasn’t a man-only company—in the optics of you reaching out to them. But only one woman worker sounded a little bit sketchy, not something you’d generally go for. You entered the redditor’s account and found he had fortunately posted something else about the hotline.
The calls are a bit expensive, i’ll give you that. But it’s really worth it, even if you’re not calling to jack off. My favorite one is Jake, you can tell he’s naturally submissive and not just acting. Refreshing to see submissive men in that industry!
You sighed when you found yourself in a dead-end. There was nothing else about that company, and for all you know this could be a staff member self promoting under a spam account, but for some reason it felt like you could give it a try. Not out of selflessness—the moral compass was dead—more out of desperation. It only accentuated the dilemma when you closed the tabs and found yourself starring at the dismissal notice your old employer had kindly left in your inbox.
You tilted your head and looked into the mirror across the room. You smiled at your reflection, wide, teeth and all, and cringed at the unnatural sight. When you tried again, you made it less dramatic and tried grinning with your eyes too.
Fuck them for saying you weren’t smiley enough. You could smile alright.
Your friend now looks back at you, leaning with her elbows on her thighs. “So you just took the job? Do you have a fucking survival instinct y/n?”
You shake your head, “I’d rather work a sketchy job than loose my independence and have to crash at my parents’ place.”
She raises both eyebrows, incredulous, “Well hello? I’m right here, I have a spare bedroom youu know you can always count on me, girl.”
“Did you hear the part about independence baby? You know i’m grateful though, right?” you say, playing with a hair band on your wrist. “It’s not the topic, like I know you’d take me in but I’d rather not loose my apartment at all, you know?”
She makes a small approving sound and leans back on the couch, “Yeah, nevermind. I just never pegged you for the type to work at a sex line, it’s really out of character. You’re always talking about pervy old creeps and stuff…”
You raise a finger, tilting your head like in the cartoons when they have a smart thing to say, “Well, guess what? They have a very specific way of working. You’re not allowed to fake it, if you’re uncomfortable and not into the call you can always say no. The caller will be reimbursed and that’s it. And also apparently the guys who work there are always listening and making sure their colleagues are not weirded out and stuff. All about consent and boundaries.”
Your friends snorts, “Damn, it’s a little crew of woke sex workers.”
You roll your eyes, throwing a pillow at her, “I don’t know it just gives me good vibes you know? After all there’s some very lonely people who want to talk you know? And if they wanna have a wank then be it, as long as they don’t ask me to like.. bark for them or something.”
“And what if they do? What happens then, huh?” she muses, tilting your chin towards you. “You’re not gonna just cancel every phone call, cause let me tell you something, there’s a lot of guys who like submissive women.”
“Well, I don’t know, I have boundaries you know? Submissive is…fine, I guess. As long as they don’t call me their slut I’ll be fine.” you shrug, snapping the band on your wrist.
She giggles, bouncing on her seat like a manic, “I definitely wanna see that. I can’t even imagine it, that shit’s gonna be so funny. You’re like the most dominant girl I know.”
Well, turns out capitalism is the one dominating you. You’re not really on top of the sex food chain anymore because the cost-of living-crisis is fucking you in the ass. A sandwich costs 12 dollars at the subway station near your new job, so you decide to go to work with an empty stomach because there’s no way you’re going to spend your last couple bucks on a chicken sandwich. You’ll eat at lunch anyway.
The company is fairly close to your apartment, only a couple subway stops away in a wealthy neighborhood. It’s surprising how nice the little building looks—although of course they only rent out one floor it seems like they get enough clients to be in this part of town.
You straighten your clothes and buzz at the door, your paperwork in hand. A couple seconds later, the door beeps open by itself and you’re step into a small corridor that leads to an elevator. The buttons all have a name for each company, and it turns out Hotline 1OO9 is on the 3rd floor, under a Japanese food brand. You press the button and fix your hair in the mirror, putting a small clip on the smallest hairs at the front of your face.
The second the elevator doors open you’re in a dimly lit hallway with the ugliest yellow walls ever. You look around, waiting for someone to receive you, but you quickly find a sign on the door that says, “Please do knock on the door, we don’t have a receptionist yet.”
You do just that, and a few seconds later you hear rapid footsteps and a man’s voice saying something inaudible. When the door opens, it’s a tall lanky guy that comes out, he’s wearing a suit but apparently slacks weren’t an option because he’s replaced them by oversized pajama pants with small cartoon imprints on them. He sees your eyes track down to his legs and cringes.
“Oh fuck—sorry. Hello, you’re y/n right? I’m sorry, we were doing photos for the website and I didn’t want to put slacks on, we didn’t get the aircon yet so it’s so hot inside.” he looks down at himself, embarassed. “Come in come in, i’ll call the boss.”
The first thing you think is that it’s so different from a corporate job, you’ve never seen an employee talk so casually inside the company building, much less show up to work in pajama pants. Secondly, when you take a quick glance across the room you notice the lack of desks, there’s only a couch and beanbags, an open kitchen and a big door with a sign that says, “don’t interrupt sexy time”.
“So, I heard you didn’t even need to do a job interview or anything? Boss just found you in the street and decided to hire you.” the guy makes small talk as he heads towards said door.
Come on, what would Park Jongseong even have to ask you in a job interview. If you’ve ever had phone sex? If you’ve ever made a guy cum?
You nod, “Yeah basically.”
The young man opens the door, he silently pads inside and you’re left alone in what seems to be the break-room/reception. There’s a coupe moving boxes—you suppose they haven’t had time to unpack everything yet—and a big pile of paperwork on the coffee table near the sofa. You instantly get closer, trying to see if they’re court filings or something of the sort. You can never be too sure. But it turns out it’s just forms and electricity bills.
When you hear footsteps you instantly straighten up and hold your own documents closer to your chest. This time the tall guy is accompanied by none other than the boss.
Jongseong is wearing a suit (with the slacks) and the same watch he had the other day—which if you look closer looks like a Roblox. He looks at you with a pleased smile and holds out his hand to shake yours.
“It’s nice to see you y/n,” he briefly squeezes your hand, “This is Nishimura Riki, he’s our main guy, everyone requests him. I’ll introduce you to everyone and then we’ll do a quick meeting in my office, how’s that sound?”
You walk past Riki, following him in the room. The walls are fully black inside, theres a couple of pods aligned like little telephone booths with pink neon lights all over them, it looks like a strip club with just a little hint of office elements such as a printer and a bulletin board. That’s it, the rest is neon lights and apparently…5 guys and a girl standing in the middle of the room.
They seem oddly out of place, is the first thing that comes to your mind. All of them are in suits and the girl in a professional looking dress, one of them—a tall guy who looks a bit like deer—holds a camera in his hands.
“Oh god..” Jongseong sighs as he sees one of the guys dusting off crumbs from his suit, mouth full of chips. “Everyone this is y/n. I count on you to treat her with respect and to show her around the office, explain the basics and help her out if needed.”
The guys nod, all 5 of their eyes raking over your whole face and body, and the girl smiles until her teeth show. You feel a little bit exposed so you let out an awkward laugh. “Hi, nice to meet you.” you bow politely.
It’s a mishmash of simultaneous answers, a couple ‘hey’s and smiles, then Jongseong walks to them and taps each of their shoulders as he introduces them, “This one’s Lee Heeseung” he’s tapping on the guy with a camera, “this one’s Yang Jungwon, this is Sim Jake, this is Park Sunghoon and this is Kim Sunoo.”
They’re all pretty in their own ways, Heeseung has big eyes that look like they have some kind of special effect lighting in them, Jungwon’s face is very expressive, Sunghoon looks a bit more reserved but still gives a shy smile, and Jake just grins all the time like he’s genuinely just a happy guy. But the prettiest one is definitely Sunoo—they’re all insanely attractive but he catches your eye immediately with his doll-like face.
“And this is our only—well second female staff now, her name’s Haejin.” Jongseong points to the girl. She looks gorgeous, she has these big black eyes and when she looks at you, you can already tell she’s going to be a sweetheart.
See if you would’ve been working in an office with only hot people at your last job, you would’ve made an effort to smile more.
2 hours in, you learn that despite its lack of internet presence Hotline 1OO9 is a fairly successful new company. As soon as the staff is done with their website photoshoot, they instantly get back to work in their little phone cabins, diligently picking up calls. It’s a surprise that there are so many customers really—in your mind this was a very underground thing that only Patrick, 63 year old on Reddit knew about. But no, it seems like the customer are just very secretive with what they choose to do in their free time and don’t go out of their way to recommend it on social media.
There’s a friendly atmosphere in the office, like they’ve known each other for a long time, they joke around and it doesn’t really feel like the typical workspace. Refreshing.
In Park Jongseong’s personal room you go over paperwork, the whole hiring process ordeal and a couple of rules that sound totally innate to you. The boss sits in a leather chair across his desk and hands you some forms to sign.
“Okay, these are confidentiality clauses and a couple other things I need you to go over. This one regards your paychecks and this other one I also need you to sign.”
You grab his pen and start going over the documents, knee bouncing over the table. Jongseong observes you quietly, chin propped on his hand like he’s trying to figure out whether you’re uncomfortable or not.
“Are you okay y/n?” he goes.
“Yeah I’m fine, just a little nervous about messing this up is all.” you admit, putting the pen down and sliding the documents over to him.
“Mmh, I know, a lot of my employees felt the same way the first time. So here’s what I had in mind, how about I assign you to a phone call with a female customer? She’s very respectful and nice, a long time client. Only if that’s okay with you though, if women aren’t your preference or anything that’s fine.” Jongseong offers, a thoughtful look on his sculpted face.
Ah, if only he knew.
“That would be very good actually. I think I might not feel that much pressure with a girl.” you nod.
“Perfect, then it’s settled. But if you have any doubts or need any guidance you can always talk to the rest of the employees, they’re really nice you’ll see. They can even give you a few lessons.”
A while after going through basic stuff, including whats required in calls, prompts etcetera, you’re walking inside the neon room along with Nishimura Riki who kindly guides you to a phone cabin. His blonde hair sits messy on his head and the top buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned due to the lack of aircon.
“Call me if you need anything okay?” he winks before shutting the glass door and walking away.
You pick up the phone that’s dangling from the wall, it’s a hot pink case that looks like the ones in those 80s sitcoms. There’s a little leather chair at the corner of the pod, you take a seat and look at the wall. You tell yourself that this is fine, that it’s for the money and that there’s no shame in such a work but really your main concern is embarrassing yourself on the call and not knowing how to entertain these people. You’ve been in a couple relationships and phone sex was a recurrent topic but talking dirty to strangers is a whole other topic.
When the phone in your hands rings, you almost jump, startled.
On the other side of the glass door, you spot Sim Jake watching you from his own pod. When he sees you jump, a small glint of amusement flashes in his eyes before he quickly looks away.
You pick up the call, relaxing in your seat to give the impression you know what you’re doing and you smile, hoping it’ll make your voice sound warm. “Hey, welcome to Hotline 1OO9, this is y/n, how are you doing today?”
The voice on the other end is low, the kind you’d get flustered by in real life. “Hi y/n, I’m good how are you?”
“I’m doing great thank you. This is actually my first time so I hope this will be enjoyable for you.” you say, fiddling with the fabric of your skirt.
“Don’t worry, you have a really pretty voice so this is already going well. Plus I’m not that demanding, I’d like to know your limits and boundaries if that’s okay?” she asks.
“Thank you, you sound very pretty too. For the limits i’m practically open to anything, feel free to talk about any topic.” you tell her.
She chuckles on the other end, “Okay, if you say so. But let me know if i’m saying something that makes you feel uncomfortable okay?”
She sounds really kind, so you hum, “Don’t worry, I’ll let you know, but i’m pretty sure I won’t need to. So, tell me a little more about what you’re hoping from today?”
“Honestly just a nice little chat, I’m…well I live in a very small town and I’d be a pariah if I ever came out of the closet so you know…I can’t really date girls there. The first time I called Hotline 1OO9 it was mainly to have phone sex, i’m no liar. But I talked to Haejin a couple times and it felt so comforting. I felt much less lonely, so I don’t really mind if this stays sfw you know?” the girl chuckles.
“I get it, I’m sure we can figure out the vibes throughout the call. Just know i’m open to both, whatever you need sweetheart.” you smile, genuinely this time.
When you look outside the pod, you find Heeseung and Jake watching you curiously. They’re leaning on the wall of their own pod and as soon as you spot them they quickly look away.
“Thank you, that’s nice to hear. Have I already told you how pretty your voice sounds?” she responds.
You look back at the wall, “I’m sure you did a couple seconds ago, but I liked it. You know when you can tell someone is pretty by the sound of their voice? That’s exactly how I feel about you.”
The girl chuckles, “Is it weird that sweet girls turn me on so much? I must be so deprived.”
“Well if that’s what you like I can be even sweeter. I bet I can even come up with sweet things to say if you tell me what you’re wearing right now” you tease, confidence coming easier than expected.
Turns out you’re a natural…?
“I’m wearing a tank top and my underwear,” she says, and you hear the phone move a bit.
“Mmh, soft little tank top? Is it tight?” you ask.
“It is, what are you wearing y/n?” she pushes back, tauntingly.
“I’m wearing a tank top too, and summer shorts.”
You’re not. You’re actually wearing office attire but she doesn’t have to know.
“Cute. Before anything, do you like being called a good girl y/n? Is that something you’re comfortable with?” you hear her take a soft panting breath, is she already turned on? Did you do good?
You’re tempted to ask her if you’re doing good, for the first time of your life you’re seeking approval. You contemplate the question for a quick second. You’ve never been called that and you’ve already unconsciously made up your mind about it, for some reason. It’s not something you’d ever ask your partner to call you, but it would be a stretch to say it makes you uncomfortable.
“You can call me anything you want pretty.” you respond, one leg crossing over the other.
“Mmh, atta girl.” she smiles on the other end. “I just want your voice and your attention. Can you do that?”
Well damn it if she doesn’t sound hot. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Soft voice for me, please. You’re not in charge right now. You’re just here to listen and answer when I ask.” you feel her get more and more comfortable but your habits get the best of you. You’re not used to being what she’s asking for.
“Alright, soft voice. I’m sorry,” you apologize, shifting in your seat.
“That’s better. Tell me how it feels, hearing me talk like that?” she rasps.
“Strange. I keep wanting to flip it and ask what you’re doing. It’s harder than I thought to just… stay quiet and follow.” you admit. You can tell she noticed the stiffness in your voice.
“That’s okay. You’re allowed to find it hard. You’re still doing it. You’re being a good girl just by trying.”
“…Thank you. I’m not used to hearing that.” you swear you feel something in the pit of your stomach when she utters those tempting words, and your thighs squeeze together for a brief second.
“You don’t have to know how to answer it perfectly. Just take it, okay? I’m gonna touch myself while I talk to you, but you stay still. Hands where they are. No touching.” she orders.
When she hears you hum, she presses, “Words baby. I need words.”
You almost gasp, clutching the phone tightly, “Yes, hands staying put. I’m sorry I don’t really know how to—”
“Shh, it’s fine. You’re doing good.” the words send sparks down your spine until they reach your core. “You’re fine. Tell me you’re my good girl.”
You take a deep breath. Outside, Heeseung and Jake are still pretending they’re not quietly observing, but you can tell they’re seeing your state. It should be embarrassing because they’re complete strangers and you’re the most vulnerable you’ve ever been sexually, but it isn’t. You like them watching, probably speculating in their heads, wondering if you’re aroused or extremely uncomfortable.
Truth is, both are mingling together in your head.
“I’m your… good girl?” you reply.
It comes out with a little interrogation at the end, and you instantly feel as stupid as ever. First day on the job and you’ve probabl already lost a client.
You didn’t expect to come out of your very first call with soaked panties and a dizzy head.
It’s funny how a confident woman can turn the sassiest girl into an embarrassed mess. But you can only admit you liked it, liked the attention and the care. Even more when she reassured you and praised you. That made you feel things you’d never felt before—as silly as it sounds—you’ve never expected to feel this way about a complete stranger.
Your panties are uncomfortably clinging to your pussy as you exit the pod, closing the door behind you. How much of a horn dog are you to be turned on by your job?
Heeseung and Jake instantly get off the wall and clear their throat, “Hey, how did it go?” Jake says with a small smile.
“It went good,” you reply before reframing, “Actually it went kind of bad. I hope I didn’t make us loose a client on my first day.”
Heeseung lifts an eyebrow, “How bad?”
You let out a self deprecating scoff, “I didn’t really know what I was doing, like at all. I expected her to let me lead but it was the opposite.”
Jake observes you, eyes trailing down to your bare legs involuntarily. He catches the tension there and quickly averts his gaze.
“Oh don’t worry, you just have to learn. Jungwon was like that at first but he got better and now he’s comfortable with a lot of different things.” Heeseung reassures you, lightly touching your forearm.
“What about Jungwon?” you hear a voice say behind you.
Turning around, you fall face to face with Yang Jungwon himself, holding a cup of coffee and a cookie wrapped in tissue.
“I was telling y/n about how it took you a while to learn the whole sub thing.” his colleague explains, leaning back against the wall lie he was earlier.
“Oh yeah, it was so weird at first. Random men telling me to be a good boy and take it, eugh. But I learned to enjoy some sides of it and not take it too seriously.” Jungwon explains.
It sounds a little bit off, like he shouldn’t just endure it because it’s part of the job, but you don’t say anything. Instead you’re surprised when he holds out the cookie in his hand before you.
“Here, I got this for you.” he smiles.
You take the sweet in your hand, “Oh thank you! You’re too sweet,”
It’s a caramel and black chocolate cookie, one of your favorites, and it tastes like heaven when you eat a piece of it. Jake mumbles something like, “what about me? I wanted a cookie too,” but you’re the only one who seems to hear.
“Don’t worry about it, how did your first call go?” Jungwon asks, siping on his coffee.
“Awkward. For her definitely. I was a mess, i feel like I wasted her money.” you admit with a self deprecating chuckle.
“I’m sure it’s fine, she can complain to customer service but trust me she won’t.” Jake affirms. “If you ever need pointers, stuff like that, you can let us know.”
Jungwon nods vehemently, “Totally, I’d be happy to help you out. I remember when I was a newbie Riki helped me out a lot and it went smoother afterwards.”
“Love you too man,” a deep voice cuts in.
It’s Nishimura Riki entering the room. He’s changed into casual clothes and ditched the cartoon pants, his hairs a little messy and he looks unfairly good.
“What’s up y/n? How was it?” he asks, almost like an old friend.
“Well, let’s just say I need some help.” you finish your cookie, wiping your mouth with the little tissue.
Riki clicks his tongue, “Anytime,” he looks at you up and down shamelessly, not even bothering to be subtle, and he smirks. “We can talk over lunch. Haejin and Sunoo are gonna eat out but we’ll all be here in the break room.”
A couple hours later and another two more calls in your record, you slip out of your booth. It went somehow smoother. The first guy was just a lonely guy who ended up crying instead of jerking off—which almost triggered your tears because of how sensitive you are—and the second guy was submissive at best, vanilla at worst.
The neon room is empty and everyone seems to have gone to the break room to grab lunch. You open the door and see that they’re already there.
Riki and Jungwon are sitting on a red leather sofa, Jake’s thrown on a beanbag along with Heeseung who’s on the floor eating chips, Sunghoon’s on a metallic chair with a rubik’s cube in his hand, laughing at something Riki’s saying.
“Oh y/n, come sit, come sit.” Jungwon lifts his head up and smiles. “We were just talking about Riki’s next client and how you could maybe listen to their call to get the hang of it.”
You take a sit on the only spot available which is next to him on the couch. Jungwon makes some space for you and hands you a paper towel and chopsticks when he sees you open your bag and take out a tupperware with last night’s meal.
“That would be awkward wouldn’t it? And what if the person doesn’t want that?” you cringe.
Riki responds, “Nah, she won’t mind. She’s a regular and she’s kind of into the whole humiliation and being heard thing. I’ll let her know beforehand though.”
You hum, considering it, but before you can say anything Sunghoon buts in, “What’s the problem though, when you do it what do you find hard?”
You dig into your meal, relaxing on the back of the couch like you’ve known these people for a long time. “Everything. Like to submit in general, I’ve never been… I hope i’m not oversharing but anyway, I’ve never been told what to do and I’m not sure how to respond or what to do, you know?”
Sunghoon nods comprehensively, “If you freeze or don’t know what to say, it’s completely okay to admit it, you know? You could say ‘I’m not sure what to do right now’, some people even like that, the honesty.”
“Yeah, and keep your responses short, just focus on listening and following one small instruction at a time. That’s already submitting.” Heeseung adds, eating his salad.
You feel insanely integrated already, almost like in preschool when you talk to people and instantly become friends with no need for introductions. Except well, you’re ‘bonding’ over bdsm right now, as insane as that sounds.
“Sounds easy but my brain becomes mush when I’m in the moment.” you shrug.
“How did the other two calls go?” Jake asks, now lying on the beanbag.
“First guy ended up crying. Wife left him and he’s lonely. The second guy was okay, he let me take the lead.” you explain.
“Oh so that’s why, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw your eyes get teary.” Heeseung chuckles. “I was walking by, almost knocked cause I thought you were gonna cry because of him.”
“No, I almost crying with him. Kinda caught me off-guard” you smile, recalling his sad voice. “But then I thought ‘what if his wife left him because he was an awful dude’ and got my shit together.”
Riki gives an amused smirk, “Perks of anonymity. I always wonder who’s on the other end—like imagine I’m dirty talking to someone who’s on an FBI watchlist?”
Everyone laughs as they finish their food and when all meals are practically empty, Park Jongseong emerges from his office.
“Already laughing together? That’s good.” he smiles, heading towards the open kitchenette and opening the fridge. “How’d it go y/n?”
You tell him about your first experience and the rest of the morning while Jongseong sits on the chair Sunghoon gives him. He listens and gives the same advice the others provided, before suggesting—just like they did—that you listen to one of their calls.
You learn after a bit of talking that he prefers to be called Jay, that Jongseong’s his official name but it sounds too serious. Everyone shares their age, and it turns out you’re right in the middle, Heeseung being older than you. You all chat cheerfully until Jay’s phone rings loudly in his office and it breaks the moment, calling the end of lunch break.
“Alright, sit down and make yourself comfortable.” Riki says as he opens the door of his phone cabin.
You do just that, sinking down on the little armchair on the conrner of the pod while he takes the other one. Riki extends his legs before him, man spreading on the chair as he grabs the phone in hand.
You think he’s going to say something but his eyes wander outside the pod and his eyebrows cock. “Nosy fuckers.” he mutters.
You follow his gaze and find Heeseung and Jake peeking inside, their hands on the glass like two kids. Do they have some sort of curiosity problem?
Riki gets up and reaches for something on the ceiling of the pod, his shirt lifting and revealing a hint of skin and what looks like a tattoo on his hipbone. This is the type of man you’d gush over outside of work, tall, lean and tattooed. But you have to focus on the task at hand.
He unhooks something and a thick curtain suddenly covers the glass door and plunges the room into darkness. “Shit, didn’t think this through.” he mutters, reaching blindly for the wall.
You stand up to help him find the the light but only end up bumping into him in the process. You feel your forehead hit Riki’s chest and when he finds the light switch you’re entirely too close. You swear you see him smirk as he sits back down on his armchair, spreading his legs like he owns the place.
It should infuriate you—you hate men who do that—but he looks good doing it, and as opposed to the men on the subway he’s doing it on his own armchair and not bothering anyone. Or yeah, maybe he’s just hot and that excuses it.
When the phone rings, Riki looks at you for a second, trying to read your face before he hits the button. “You okay?”
You nod, “Yeah yeah, go ahead.”
“Good girl,” Riki rasps.
You immediately freeze eyes narrowing in confusion, but the tone of his voice sends shivers running down your arms for some reason. He starts chuckling, clutching the phone on his lap, “Relax, it was just to set the mood.”
When you roll your eyes, avertin your gaze, he says a quick ‘Alright, just listen.” before he picks up the call.
“Afternoon,” Riki greets, a smug little look on his face like he just knows hes gonna do some damage.
You don’t hear the conversation at first, so you wonder what the point of it even is, it’s not like you need lessons in being dominant…
“There you are, how are you tonight?” he asks, one draped over his lap in a way that makes him look even manlier—if that’s even possible.
You see him nod before he replies to whatever she said, “Good. Before we start, I have someone here with me, she’d love to hear what a good girl sounds like when she’s being led. And I know you’re a good girl so you’re the perfect example she could get, am I right baby? I’m gonna put you on speaker so she can listen, you comfortable with that?”
There’s a pause during which she says something and he listens attentively, but his eyes are set on you. It’s like he’s silently making sure you’re giving him your full attention. The lesson’s gonna go really well if he keeps looking at you like that.
“Mmh, I thought you might. Say it clearly for her.” Riki smirks, a playful glint in his dark eyes. He clicks on the speakerphone button and puts it between the both of you.
“I’m okay with her listening, sir. I like being heard.”
She sounds young, in her late 20s and is already slightly out of breath. Very much like a specific someone… just not exactly for the same reason. You’re struggling to breathe because the room is a bit narrow and you’re bordering claustrophobia right now. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself instead of admitting you’re intimidated and also never thought your first day would go like that.
“Good girl. She’s sitting quietly right now, just observing. You’re going to stay honest and clear for both of us. Understood?” Riki continues.
And you feel his words in your stomach, cutting thought the barrier of embarrassment and principles because apparently you’ve left those out the door this morning.
“Yes sir.” the woman answers obediently, and you wish you could say you’re taking mental notes but really you’re focused on the 6ft something man whose gaze is bored into you. You know he’s trying to ‘set the mood’ or whatever, but it sure feels personal.
“Tell me where you are and what you’re wearing.” he questions.
“I’m in my bedroom… on my knees beside the bed, like you usually want. I’m only wearing my panties. Nothing else. My hands are in my lap like you said last time.” she replies, breath hitching like she’s getting turned on by her own submission.
“That’s good, hands stay in your lap ‘kay? You’re not touching yourself until I say so. You’re just gonna kneel there and answer me while she listens to every word. Clear?”
Yeah it feels personal. You cross your legs, feeling way too exposed and your hands fiddle with your skirt nervously.
“Yes sir, clear.”
“Then start by telling her what you are when you’re on the phone with me, baby.” Riki toys with the cord of the phone, looking at you all the while like he’s seeking your full focus.
“I’m a desperate slut who needs to be told what to do, sir.” her voice comes out smaller, you take notes on the tone and the specific words.
Riki clicks his tongue, “Louder. She’s right here. She needs to hear it properly.” The woman repeats it louder and he hums in approval, “Better. You’re doing good. You gonna keep being good for me okay, now spread your legs nice and wide. Keep your hands in your lap— don’t touch.“
There’s a small rustle of movement on the other end before she says in a small voice, “They’re spread sir.”
“That’s a good girl, does it feel nice being heard like that?”
You’re captivated by this stranger under the weirdest circumstances of your life. The way he talks sends warmth pooling in your lower stomach and you feel like an intruder.
The woman hums, “It feels… humiliating. But in the way that makes me wetter.“
Alright, too much information, you think, looking up at the ceiling to try and escape his gaze. The longer you listen the more you ge the hang of it, she doesn’t try to perform, she just does as she’s told, it’s not that complicated. Your thighs press together on the seat, and you’re pretty damn sure Nishimura Riki has noticed it but at least he has office etiquette and doesn’t say anything about it.
Not that anything about this screams ‘office’…
You stand up, legs a little wobbly. No kink shaming but this isn’t really your thing, and you don’t want to start hearing her flick the bean, as much as you’re curious about how Riki would sound talking her through it—
“Going?” the young man’s eyes follow your figure.
“Yup, think I got what I needed,” you whisper, low enough that the customer doesn’t hear.
The next few days are better. You slowly get the hang of it until you’re on a call with a man on your third day, and things go a lot smoother. It starts coming naturally, the pace, the words, everything starts being a little easier once you imagine it’s Nishimura Riki on the phone—
Major slip-up. What you meant is that Riki’s such a good mentor that it feels reassuring to imagine him because he’s not a stranger anymore.
Or at least that’s what you’ve established after eating together for a whole week straight on lunch breaks, sharing details of your lives with the other colleagues and joking around. They’re all extremely friendly and you quickly learn that they’ve all had some sort of financial problems which led to them being desperate for a job.
They’re not even surprised when you share that you were suspicious of Jay when approached you in the subway like the recruiter in Squid Games. They say he likes to do funky stuff like that for the love of the game and joke that he probably had a crush and didn’t know how to shoot his shot so went with the business approach.
You find that hard to believe since Jay hasn’t really talked to you all that much these past few days, but it’s not like it’s important anyway.
You begin noticing that Haejin is the sweetest person alive, she’s genuinely kind and means well—a nice upgrade from your old colleagues who didn’t hesitate to talk shit about you in front of the male staff just to get their attentions—she’s soft spoken and gives amazing advice on how to make the dirty talk flow. Granted that’s not something you thought you’d ever talk about with a woman you’ve only known for a couple days but she’s got a way of making you feel at ease, so much so that you end up telling her over the course of lunch, that you haven’t sex in a few months.
“How do you even live?” Haejin groans like she’s been hurt.
You snort, knife digging in your reheated steak, “I’m doing just fine. Kind of tense with all that sex talk all day long, but it’s fine.”
Haejin nods avidly, “I know right? I was just like you when I first started working here. But then I just became the horniest bitch ever. There’s no other way to put it.”
You chuckle at the curse word coming out of her sweet sweet mouth, “Its like i’m having foreplay all day but no real sex.”
“Oh I totally get it. Even the guys weren’t like that when I first met them. We all came here around the same time and I remember Jake for example, he was so calm and sweet. Now he’s gone mad, one time he even got a boner in the neon room. But don’t repeat it though, or he’ll be embarrassed.” Haejin whispers secretively.
Jake is sitting across the room on one of the beanbags, his phone in hand. He’s wearing jeans a t-shirt that really brings out the color of his eyes and—
Yeah, to be honest it’s just a white t shirt, nothing to do with his eyes. What it brings out though, is the outlines of his broad chest.
“I feel like that’s just natural, it’s basically sex all day long, how can you not react?” you reply, one hand covering your mouth like a true gossiper.
“Er, yeah. You’re probably right. He’s not even the only one, it’s like working with a bunch of sexually frustrated guys. Thank God they’re respectful though.” she affirms.
You look around the room, only Jake and Sunoo are here, Sunoo on the red leather couch doing god knows what on his phone. The rest of them are in the neon room probably working and Jay is out of town for a meeting.
“What you got this afternoon?” Haejin asks you, her fork raised in the air.
“A call with the guy who cried the other day and then a new client. The rest I don’t know yet, I’m waiting for the boss to send in my schedule.” you tell her.
“I’ll get you some tissues jeez, that one’s gonna be tough. Sometimes all these guys need is a therapist I swear.” Haejin rolls her eyes amused.
Before you can even answer, the phone rings on the front desk—or more like the kitchen aisle that Jay has transformed into a reception desk for the lack of one. Haejin grunts but you stand up before she can, “Don’t worry I got it.”
You pick up the call, it’s a delivery guy telling you there’s a package for Hotline 1OO9. “Yep, i’ll be here in a second, let me just get someone.” you reply when he tells you that they’re heavy boxes.
You put the phone down and look at Haejin who’s currently finishing her poke bowl, Jake and Sunoo are also munching on a sandwich so you decide to go call someone else and let them eat in peace.
A couple seconds later you’re softly opening the door to the neon room and peeking inside. It’s practically silent but you can see Riki, Sunghoon and Heeseung are in their respective sound proof booths on a call. In the corner of the room on a little chair he’s probably moved, Jungwon’s sitting with his phone, chin resting on his fist.
“Jungwon.” you whisper shout, hoping he’ll hear.
His head snaps up instantly and his once bored face turns into a smile. “What’s up?”
You point behind you and he understands, standing up to come join you he closes the door behind him. “There’s a delivery guy with some heavy boxes, can you come help me?”
Jungwon nods, following suit as you head out the office. In the elevator there’s a long silence before the doors open to the main entry and you fall face to face with 6 big boxes—screw that, huge boxes. They’re stacked haphazardly in the middle of the main entryway, practically blocking the doors. For a second, you just stand there, staring at them.
“What the heck is this? Did the boss even say anything about some packages?” Jungwon blinks several times, arms already tired just with the sight. He greets the delivery guy and signs the receipts.
“Not to me anyway.” you say when he leaves, crouching in front of one of the boxes and looking for a tag. When you find a tiny tag with an eggplant drawing you instantly understand. “That’s a box of penises.”
Jungwon snorts, surprised. “What?” he crouches next to you, his arms brushing yours and he takes a look at the side of the box. “Yeah that’s definitely a penis box.”
You chuckle, bumping his elbow and standing up to grab the boxes but he doesn’t, “Wait, let me see what’s inside before.” he says.
Before you can even tell him not to, Jungwon rips open one corner of the box and peeks inside—no literally shoves his eyes in the little gap.
“Yeah, it’s dicks.” he states once he comes up.
“How many of them?” you puff out your cheeks, fighting an incredulous laugh and Jungwon shrugs.
“Probably more than a hundred, judging by the number of boxes. Why are they sending hundreds of dildos here?”
You go towards the other box, ripping the corner but more gracefully than Jungwon did. Inside this one there’s a ton of wrapped up pocket pussies, other male sextoys and business cards. “This one has different ones. Who is this even for?”
“Probably for the clients, like freebies or something…?” Jungwon shrugs, bending to lift one of the boxes. The muscles in his arms flex as he hauls the heavy weight, his jaw clenching. The second you bend down to grab one of your own he tuts, “Let me do it, they’re heavy. I don’t want your back to hurt.”
You roll your eyes—although you secretly find it endearing—and you lift up the box, “I’ll be aight. I’m a big girl.”
Jungwon huffs a laugh, “Oh I know you are.”
And what does that even mean??
You practically melt on the spot—though you never show it—and you head towards the elevator careful not to snap your whole body in two with the hefty weight. It’s the goddamn job they do, it’s making them all hot and filthy and you’re starting to become just like them, sensitive to the smallest details and interpreting everything in a weird way. You need to get a grip.
After hauling the boxes inside the elevator, Jungwon gets in beside you and wipes the little bit of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, and of course, his shirt rides up on his v-line. Because it wouldn’t be funny otherwise.
When he catches you looking involuntarily, he smirks, eyes narrowing as the smirk becomes a full on smile. “You okay? Your back hurt?” he asks when you move and subtly wince.
“I’m good—” but you don’t have time to say anything before he gets behind you and places a hand between your shoulders.
The elevator seems to take 20 years to get to the third floor as Jungwon presses between your muscles, softly massaging the flesh, “See, you’re a liar, there’s tension there.”
You scoff, half amused half…turned on? Whatever the heck is happening to your body these days needs to be blamed on the job. “I’m fine, you worry about your own shoulders.”
You turn around at that—big mistake—and end up facing him. He’s taller so you have to look up and when you do, his eyes are slightly hooded, like he’s faded. Your brain screams, ‘dick dick dick dick dick’, so much so that you end up laughing in his face. You’ve completely lost it.
“What’re you laughing about?” Jungwon gives a curious smile, looking down at you.
Blessed be the elevator, you’re saved from having to come up with an answer when it finally stops on the third floor. Thankfully, Sunghoon and Jake are already waiting in the hallway, ready to help with the boxes.
“Boss just called, he’s ordered some freebies for the regular customers.” Sunghoon informs you, grabbing one of the packages effortlessly.
“Is there candy inside? Or like merch?” Jake asks, his eyes widening at the size of the boxes, cocking his head.
“Jake be for real man.” Jungwon chuckles, grabbing a box too, “What kind of merch could he be sending out to these people?”
“It’s dicks and pussies” you add, helpfully.
Jake’s expression turns into one of exaggerated disgust, “Jay’s just gonna send out sextoys?”
“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t tell girls and boys to stroke their shit and talk them through it all day long,” Sunghoon laughs, rolling his eyes.
“What happened with sex toys?” Haejin butts in as you all carry the boxes inside, she holds the door open and looks over curiously.
“It’s for the regular customers,” Sunghoon explains, stretching after he drops his box on the floor.
“Hello, I’m a regular customer.” she bows dramatically, “No jokes I hope we get to have one too.”
Jungwon laughs, “Just take one, I’m sure he’s not gonna spend an hour counting sextoys.”
Best believe Haejin does take one, she even invites all of you to do the same but only Sunghoon seems unbothered enough to suit himself. As for you, it’s not like you’re ashamed of using sex toys but holding a dildo in your hands in front of three buff guys isn’t not something you’d really like to experience today.
A couple minutes later, Riki and Heeseung emerge from the neon room and sit next to Sunoo on the couch. The oldest throws his head back until it hits the wall and groans, “I’m so tired.”
“What happened?” Sunoo asks him.
“The girl I just got a call with wanted me to call her my ‘little horny slut’.” he grunts, burrying his face in his hands.
“Why the fuck are you complaining right now?” Sunghoon blurts, incredulous, “I just spent 20 minutes on the phone with a girl who wanted me to call her ‘bad little gold-digger’.”
Riki snorts, one hand covering his mouth, “I usually don’t kink shame but how the fuck is that enjoyable.”
Before anyone can start venturing into this embarrassing topic, one of the phones in the neon room rings loudly, starting everyone.
“Oh shit, fuck. Forgot about the crying guy.” you say cryptically as you hurry towards the room.
You forgot you had work. Perfect.
You hear Haejin chuckle, “What is she talking about?” she asks when you’re out of sight.
You slip inside your pod and quickly grab the phone. In a hurry to pick up you press the button a couple of times and speak into the microphone, “Hello, this is y/n, good afternoon.”
But no one answer, it’s just a mess of static and creaking noises so you push the button again. “Heeello, this is y/n good afternoon.”
Crickets.
You put the phone down and make a beeline for the break room, once you’re there all of their heads snap up to you. “Can someone help with my booth, the phone won’t work I can’t hear the other person and there’s like static and stuff.”
Everyone turns their heads to Jake at the very same time, like he’s the assigned handyman of the office. Well apparently he is, you learn when Sunoo says, “Ask Jake, he’s always the one who fixes the phones. He knows his way around electronics.”
Jake stands up promptly, dusting off his jeans and looking over to where you stand with a sheepish smile, “I’ll help you.”
He follows you into the neon room and inside the pod, crouching in front of the cables. “We always get technical difficulties these days, I don’t know why Jay won’t just change the phones. Were you only hearing static?”
You nod in response, crossing your eyes with furrowed eyebrows, “I picked up and couldn’t hear a thing.”
Jake tweaks some buttons, a very focused look on his face, and once he estimates he’s done he looks up at you from where he crouches. “Try calling him back now, tell me if it’s fine.”
You do just that, sitting at the edge of the armchair you dial his number and wait. Once the ringing stops you finally hear a voice,
“Hello?” you call.
“Oh, finally, I thought you—” the rest is completely inaudible. You look down at Jake and give him a thumbs down. “Do you hear me?” the man tries again.
“I can hardly hear you, my colleague is trying to fix the issue, I’m so sorry.” you apologize, a little self conscious, “can you try and speak again for me?”
There’s a little bit of static before you can finally hear the man again, “—worry, you’re worth the wait. Take your time but—”
You curse under your breath as the line cuts again, and Jake messes with the cables, eyebrows pinched together, “Can you repeat that for me darling?” you tell the other man.
But Jake snaps his head up with a small, ‘huh?’ cheeks flushing like he thinks you were talking to him.
“Not you, dummy.” you whisper, pointing at the phone with a chuckle.
“I said don’t worry you are worth the wait, and to take your time but to not hang up on me.” the other man repeats.
“I won’t hang up on you, my colleague’s working on it as we speak.” you assure him, “How about we start? I don’t wanna waste your time.”
You hear him hum, pleased, “Whatever you like, I’d wait for you anyway.” he says, sounding a little desperate already.
You didn’t catch that side of him the other day because he unfortunately started crying midway through the actual dirty talk, but right now he sounds a little bit needy. He’s a divorced millenial but he seems particularly submissive, so a win is a win.
“You’re cute,” you fake-chuckle seductively, well aware that Jake is a couple of inches away, “What are you doing right now?”
You hear the sound of fabric ruffling and the smallest groan, “I’m in bed right now, I have my—”
The static starts again and you softly tap on Jake’s shoulder, “It’s cutting again, what should I do?” you whisper.
Your colleague holds a cable in his hand and looks up, “Just ask him to repeat and keep going while I figure this out, tell him he’ll get a price reduction or something.”
You nod, “Can you repeat handsome? I’m so sorry I couldn’t hear you.”
“It’s okay mommy, I said i’m in bed and I have my dick in my hand, hope that’s okay.” the man says, big emphasis on the mommy part.
You cringe, rubbing the corner of your eye as you fight to maintain your composure in the awkward situation. There’s a 50 something year old calling you mommy on one side and a very handsome puppy-looking boy on the other.
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” you get back into character, leaning back against the armchair.
You see Jake’s shoulders twitch imperceptibly as he continues working but he doesn’t turn around or make a sound. On the end of the line, the man lets out a pathetic little moan, “I’m sorry mommy, i’m sorry. I’ll be better.”
Oh my days, you think to yourself.
But what cancels the second hand embarrassment is Jake’s reaction when you speak next.
“Look at you apologizing, that’s a good boy. Now don’t touch it until I say.” you tell the old guy in a low voice.
You swear you see Jake’s cheeks turn completely red, his hands slightly shaking as he works the electronics. And somehow that’s so much more thrilling than a guy calling you mommy. You think about what Haejin said earlier when she mentioned the state Jake was in ever since he started working here. The idea of toying with him seems so amusing, because as unprofessional as it sounds, what is even professional about this job in the first place?
“Yes mommy, I’ll—” the other man says, the line glitching again. You assume he’s saying what any submissive guy would say, which is ‘I’ll be your good boy’, it sounds coherent so you don’t even bother asking him to repeat.
“Mhh, that’s right. You’re doing so good f’me” you answer, eyes fixed on the back of Jake’s neck, which is completely flushed red. “I bet you want to touch that cock real bad, don’t you?”
You hear your colleague take a sharp intake of air and his fingers almost slip off the cables he’s working on. He’s pulled taunt like an elastic, nervous and fidgety, and you just want to mess with him all day long if that’s how his reactions escalate.
“Yes yes, please,” the man whines on the phone, fabric rustling as he most likely moves on his bed, restless. “Please, I’d do anything.”
“Aw, you’d do anything?” you taunt, voice progressively getting lower, “what if I say you can’t touch yourself today, would you do that?”
Jake’s breath audibly hitches and he drops his head closer to the wall, trying not to loose it. You can tell he’s a weak weak man in this moment, but he’s genuinely trying to make it seem like he’s fine. He messes with the buttons a couple of times before quickly standing up, dusting off his jeans once again. When he raises a thumb in question, he still doesn’t quite meet your gaze. You hum in response, noticing that the static on the phone has finally disappeared.
You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ and smile at him but he doesn’t reply, just blushes madly and scrambles out of the pod. You don’t even hear what the man is saying on the other end, toofocused on Jake’s retreating figure.
He doesn’t even bother closing the door behind him, which is why seconds after you hear Sunghoon’s voice saying, “Man, what happened to you? Don’t tell me you—…oh you horny motherfucker…”
A couple weeks go by, during which you do nothing but have fictional sex with strangers over the phone and hang out with your colleagues like you’re still in high school.
Nothing about it is professionally really, just a bunch of touch deprived idiots cracking jokes in between calls because it saves you from going insane over the fact none of you are getting laid.
You tell your friend everything when you’re outside of work, and she listens with a slightly incredulous look. She’s never heard of such an—and, I quote—“perfect job.”
She seems to think working with 7 hot men, a beautiful woman and talking about coitus all day long is the ideal job.
And while you’re grateful for getting paid doing absolutely nothing, it’s also starting to take a toll on your health. You’ve been having incessant wet dreams these past few days, to the point where you come into work pent up and frustrated, and seeing a bunch of fuckable men doesn’t help in the slightest.
The calls go smoothly with occasional little incidents such as a weird client asking for way more than he should be asking—pictures, because yes apparently he’s entitled to pictures because you work for a sex hotline—but other than that it’s all routine by now.
You find yourself spending more and more time with Heeseung, grabbing coffee before work in the morning, talking about life and office gossip. He even introduces you to photography and sneaks a couple picture of you when you’re not looking. One day Haejin even says he looks like he likes you, but you don’t think much of it, everyone’s desperate and pent up in that office after all.
You eat lunch with Sunoo a couple of times, he’s a very sweet guy, a little sassy sometimes but never mean. He lets you in on all the lore, inside jokes and stuff you’ve missed since they all started working together; he tells you about the time Riki’s ex called the hotline so he would give her another chance—after she cheated mind you—and you laugh for hours about a video of Haejin running and bumping into Jay by mistake.
You quickly become friends with them, though sometimes you question if ‘friends’ is an accurate description for your relationship. It’s not crazy really, but at times you’re left wondering if getting turned on by a so called friend really makes it a friendship.
Like that one time when everyone else had work to do, leaving you and Sunghoon alone in the break room—or more specifically, on the sofa.
You recall your thighs touching and neither of you moving away even though Riki and Sunoo had vacated their spots. Sunghoon was tired when he threw his head back against the wall, extending his legs in front of him and lifting his arms up in a stretch; you remember seeing his shirt lift up to reveal a small line of hair that led straight into his pants and your thighs pressed together in a matter of miliseconds.
Averting your gaze you noticed his protruding adam’s apple, the shape of it so beautiful you had to completely look away. But then you felt his eyes burning into the side of your face, you had to look out of curiosity.
Sunghoon was gazing at you with a lopsided smile, his eyes hooded. It almost took the breath out of your lungs—blame it on the deprivation—but you held his gaze, a challenging glint in your orbs.
“You have nice eyes.” he said, the fatigue almost making him sound high.
The corner of your mouth lifted in a small smile of your own, “Why are you saying that?”
“I don’t know, you’re pretty. Is that a weird thing to say?” Sunghoon replied, deliberately lifting his arms higher before dropping them to his lap.
“My eyes and now me in general?” you teased.
“Come on, you know you’re pretty. Everyone’s been saying it.” he chuckled, eyes dropping to your lips for a second.l before going back to your eyes.
“No one’s been saying that.“
“Well yeah, they didn’t say it to your face. But trust me they did. Especially Jake, he’s been all weird lately.” Sunghoon affirmed.
You swore the tension was going to kill you right then and there, the way he was looking at you was making you feel like you were bare in front of his eyes. You didn’t even know him all that well, you’d talked to him a lot over lunch but it was superficial, nothing too intimate. Now he was looking at you for the very first time like he wanted to devour you. How weird.
“Well that’s sweet, thank you.” you smiled, your eyes unable to leave his. And while the knowledge that Park Sunghoon thought you were pretty didn’t really change anything, his gaze said a couple hundred things in only a few minutes.
Lord have mercy for you were close to sinning.
“And he went like ‘tell me who’s pussy this is’, erm bitch not yours??” Haejin takes a deep imitating voice.
She’s perched on the arm of the sofa, making big movements with her arms as she narrates her last call and everyone listens. You’re crammed between Heeseung and Jungwon, Jake falling asleep on the beanbag while Riki sits on the floor in front of the couch.
“The audacity to say that to a sex line operator.” Sunoo comments. He looks almost peaceful if you didnt look closely and noticed his leg bouncing and his jaw slightly clenched.
The thing is, you’ve kind of had suspicions that the two of them—Sunoo and Haejin—were somehow involved together. Maybe it’s the way they often eat alone together, or how they’re extremely touchy with each other, constantly brushing their hands together and sneaking glances when the think no one’s looking. You’re not falling for it though, you can tell the difference between friends and people who have fucked.
The sneaky bastards.
“I know it’s just dirty talk but I wanted to laugh so bad,” Haejin continues.
“You’re so strong cause I would’ve been laughing already.” you snort.
Heeseung bumps your arm playfully, “You would’ve been laughing cause you don’t usually like it, there’s a difference.”
You raise an eyebrow looking over at him, “who says I don’t like it?”
There’s a silence in the room and you almost think you said something out of line, but then again what’s ‘out of line’ in here?
Heeseung huffs a laugh, “I thought you weren’t into that shit?”
“Doesn’t mean I’m against it.” you answer. “I like a good surprise.”
His eyes trail down your face to your lips and his tongue darts out to lick his. He’s being so obvious yet it’s so enthralling you want to melt into the couch.
The moment is cut short when Haejin clears her throat and waves a hand between both your faces, breaking the spell. “Hello? Get a room please.”
Sunghoon groans, “Whole room horny.”
Heeseung smiles, throwing his head back on the back of the couch while the whole room sounds like a bunch of desperate teenagers. It’s almost time to go back to work but everyone’s dreading the prospect.
Riki brings in his 2 cents, “I say we should go to the club and all get laid this weekend.”
“100% agreed,” Jake says, voice muffled by the beanbag he’s currently lying face down on. “I can’t go on like this.”
No one has time to give their opinion because the door to Jay’s office opens and he comes out holding a stack of papers, a pair of serious glasses perched on his nose.
“I don’t know if you guys remember this conversation we had a couple weeks back? Yn you weren’t there yet so I’m just gonna brief you in on this idea.” he starts, “We talked about implementing duo calls to our list, so you guys would be paired up on calls depending on the requests. I received a couple requests for Y/n and Riki and also Sunoo and Haejin this afternoon, how does that sound to you guys?”
You look around and find Riki’s eyes already on you, he seems to be just as surprised as you are. Since the other day, there’s been a slightly tense atmosphere between the two of you, like you’ve walked in on an intimate moment even though it was professional.
You can still hear his voice and it sends shivers down your spine whenever you’re catapulted back to that moment. Now to know the boss wants you to both participate while sitting next to each other in those narrow cabins is somethjng else. Sure, you’ve done it in front of Jake but it was just to mess with him, now you have to be serious and somehow collaborate in your dirty talk, if that makes sense.
“But like, how would that work? What would need to do?” Haejin asks, cocking her head.
Jay holds out a peace of paper, proud. “That’s why I printed these out, I’m gonna need you to go somewhere together in pairs. I gave you each a specific scenario and I want you to rehearse okay? These people are willing to pay a good price for this, so i don’t want it to be rushed.”
“Customer is male, he likes the idea of cuckholding but wants to be involved too. What can you do to make it sound authentic while also interacting with him?” Riki reads.
He’s sitting across from you in his booth, legs spread as he lounges on his armchair. You agreed to rehearse with the curtains drawn for maximum privacy because you both know how curious the rest of the staff can be, but the con is that now the cabin feels so much smaller and Riki’s playing right into it.
He’s got bedroom eyes, always looking at you like he’s trying to say something with them and he plays with the knowledge that he can get you flustered easily.
“First of all, you’re gonna have to come closer to me since we only have one phone. Then we should give him a lil show, talk to each other, imply we’re doing actual things to each other etcetera.” Riki says, folding the sheet in half, “Can you fake moans?”
You almost snort, “For 300 dollars yes I can.”
Three hundred is the price the man is offering to pay to hear you both. You’d almost be flattered…in another world.
“We don’t wanna risk it though, let me hear you.” Riki insists.
You shake your head immediately, “I’m not gonna just moan out of the blue. Trust me I got this, I’m gonna do good.”
Riki’s smirk widens, his gaze darkening, “Oh I know you’re gonna do good y/n.”
You’re tempted to look away, his gaze too heavy on you, but his words are what do it. You’re a whole different person around him and he seems to notice, seems to find it amusing, really. You look down at your shoes, tapping them on the floor distractedly.
“Come here, let’s rehearse before he calls” he cuts through your silence, beckoning you with his finger. It’s with hesitant legs that you stand up, not really knowing where to go, and stand awkwardly next to his armchair. “Just come sit here, we can’t be too far apart or he’ll notice.”
You zero in on his pointer finger tapping his thigh and your eyes widen a little bit. That was never in the job description—though you should’ve expected it with how comfortable everyone is. You bury your embarrassment somewhere your brain can’t find and you lower yourself to sit on Riki’s lap.
“That’s it mama, sit down.” he encourages in a low voice. His hand comes up to your hip, touch light and respectful in order to steady you.
“Mama?” you chuckle nervously, back pressed against his chest, amused by the nickname.
“I’m rehearsing aren’t I?” Riki says against the back of your neck, his breath fanning on your sensitive skin. “Come on, dont be shy, gimme a moan. You have to make him believe it.”
You shake your head, hair brushing his shoulder, “It’s gonna sound awful.”
But Riki doesn’t seem to care. You can feel him getting closer by his breathing against your neck until you’re sure his lips are merely inches away from your skin. “No it’s not, you can do it.”
You huff a laugh but it comes out oddly weak as your head lolls involuntarily. Every part of your body is stimulated by only the feeling of his breath, how pathetic does that sound? You’re so deprived that the thought of his lips being so close brings you to utter weakness.
“I cant just moan like that, what if I sound off?” you say, breathless.
Riki doesn’t reply, instead you feel his lips brush your nape and your eyes flutter shut as you fight to stay focused. He trails a path down to your shoulder, pressing his lips over the fabric of your top until he finds a bare strip of skin. Simultaneously, his hands lightly squeeze your sides, and when you shift on his lap he squeezes harder. Your breath hitches and he seems to hear it because his fingertips travel to your ribs before settling on your stomach. Riki traces circles on the part that’s not covered by your top, his lips playing with neckline of it.
The moment he leaves lazy open mouthed kisses all the way to your jaw from behind, you gasp, clutching the hem of your skirt with shaky fingers.
“There you go. Sound so pretty. Is that all it takes?” Riki teases, teeth nipping at your earlobe. “I knew you could do it, I’m just gonna have to keep you right here all through it.”
You feel his tongue dart out to taste the skin where jaw meets neck and you instinctively brace yourself with hands on his thighs, to which he reacts to with a low hum. You don’t even know what this is, what you’re doing, but it feels too good to stop. It’s like being denied water for months and finally getting to drink. Except Riki’s like Mountain Valley Spring Water.
He squeezes your hips, fingers venturing into the skin of your exposed thighs. “You can do better can’t you?” he rasps against your neck.
You’re left lightheaded and unable to reply so he only makes it worse. Riki squeezes, traces patterns all the way to your inner thighs and stops right there. That’s when you nod, needing his touch like air. You can’t bear to feel him stop.
“Good girl, show me then.” he praises, teeth grazing your skin.
The next thing you know, Riki spreads your legs on his lap and his hands settle on your inner thighs. He’s touching one of your most sensitive spots and you just cant control the moan that comes out of your mouth.
It’s a mix of a pant and a moan, low and soft, and Riki seems to react physically to it. His hands squeeze the fat of your inner thighs and wander higher, right where your skirt bunches up.
“What if I just slip those panties to the side,” he emphasizes by hooking his finger to the hem of your panties, never actually touching you. “and have you sit on my cock all through the call. Would that make you moan alright?”
Your breath goes wild as you throw your head back shamelessly, you’re pretty sure he’s managed to get your panties soaked with only a few PG 16 touches. “You’re crazy,” you whisper shakily.
“Am I? The door’s closed and we’re supposed to put on a show for him anyway.” Riki chuckles lowly. “If you don’t want to it’s alright mama, I won’t push.”
You shake your head and nod simultaneously, completely out of it. You don’t even know what you want except that you need to feel something.
You could cry if you’re left on the edge once again after enduring it for weeks.
“That a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, pretty?” the bastard laughs again, amused by your state of evident arousal. He lifts the hem of your panties and snaps them back into place, his other hand stroking the skin of your hip.
“Yes, yes.” you gasp, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
Riki hums, but he doesn’t rush to take them off, instead he cups your cunt through the fabric and presses his palm against your clit. He presses in pulsing motions, until your legs are closing around his hand and he has you boneless on his lap.
That’s when you feel his bulge pressing against your ass, thick and rock hard, and everytime you shift in pleasure, it twitches through his jeans.
“You’re soaking right through the fabric, pretty.” he whispers against your ear, fingers toying with the wet patch in the front of your panties. “Gonna take these off now, that okay with you?”
You nod instantly, spreading your legs for him to access. The second you do, he tugs your panties to the side, and the air hits your sopping cunt. Your walls clench around nothing, desperate to feel him, and Riki takes his sweet time, grabbing the phone in one hand and unbuckling his pants with the other. “A shame I can’t see your face like this mama, turn around f’me.”
You obey, on shaky legs you turn around and sit on him, facing him. Now you can clearly see his face, his flushed cheeks and messy hair, hooded eyes and the thick bulge in his pants. It looks like it hurts when he palms himself, buckle in hand.
“Go for it.” he rasps, bringing your fingers to his zipper.
While you unzip him, Riki strokes your cheek and tugs gently at the hair in the back of your head. When you’re done he lifts his hips a bit and tugs his jeans down to his knees along with his Calvin Kleins. His cock slaps against his lower stomach when he frees it, tip weeping precum all over his pelvis. It’s already fiercely erect, standing out proudly against his happy trail, pressing upward toward his stomach.
Before you can do anything, the phone rings in his left hand and he sighs shakily. “Come here then, sit on it.” he rasps.
You look at him through your lashes as you wrap a hand at the base of his cock and lift your hips, angling him below your pussy. You feel your thighs shaking as his tip brushes your clit, and you brace yourself on his chest, eyes closing.
The moment you sink down and take the head of his cock in, Riki groans, gripping your hip. “Such a good girl— fuck…look at you.”
He looks down at where your bodies meet, your pussy accommodating his thick length as best as you can, and he shuts his eyes, adjusting to the intense suction. When you take more of him he whispers, “Can I pick up the call now?”
You nod breathlessly and when he’s all snug and entirely inside of you, you moan. Before pressing a button and accepting the call, Riki takes one last look at his cock stretching you open.
“Hello, this is Riki and Y/n for Hotline 1OO9, how’s your day?” he says with a steady voice, except or when you listen closely to his messy breathing.
Riki presses the speaker button and holds the phone between you both. How are you even supposed to come up with words when he’s stretching you like that? You can only clench around him until you feel every ridge and every vein like they’re memorized.
“My day’s good, thank you for picking up.” the guy on the other end says, his voice a little bit shy.
Your head falls forward on Riki’s shoulder and your forehead rests there. At the sight, his cock twitches inside you and he pushes in deeper, trying to reach the deepest part of you. To that, you moan, nails digging into his arms. You want to move so bad, you wanna fuck yourself on his cock and finally reach a long awaited orgasm.
The customer must hear every little sound you make because he asks, “Are you close to each other?”
Riki chuckles, one hand grabbing your ass and kneading it, “Got her on my lap, must be why she sounds so breathless. Don’t you baby?” he kisses your jaw.
You hum, weak all over. But Riki won’t have it, he grabs your chin and puts his thumb on your lower lip, “Use your words. Can you do that for me?”
You nod, “yes, yes.” and he rewards you with a sharp slap to your ass. “Good girl,” he praises.
It’s like the man on the other end of the line fades away, you can’t even hear his voice, just Riki’s and whatever he’s doing to your pliant body. His eyes are endless pits of darkness when he looks at you, pushing his thumb past your lips, and as you suck around it obediently, your walls clench around him and your hips shift.
“Uh-huh, who said you could move?” Riki takes his thumb out of your mouth and grips your hips to stop you.
You grip his arms, your belly moving with each ragged breath you take, and Riki’s cock throbs inside. He takes both your hands and holds them together behind your back, having you there seated on his dick, pride stripped away while a stranger listens.
“Oh look at that, you’re making such a mess.” Riki hums, looking at where you’re linked, his lower abdomen covered in your slick. “She’s so wet, soaking all over me,” he tells the man.
You don’t even hear his reaction, the need to move so intense it buzzes in your ears.
“Oh baby, you wanna move so bad, don’t you?” Riki taunts, giving the smallest thrust. But it’s enough to make you crazy, thighs shaking and body rocking.
When he speaks to the other man, you shiver, “She’s a mess, shaking on my cock. You should see her, so pretty when she just takes it.”
“Fuck… please, I can’t.” you plead, looking a Riki though your lashes, desperate for more movement. He’s so deep inside of you that even the smallest thrust makes you see stars.
“You want this?” his hips buck up, tip of his cock hitting a delicious spot inside of you. Your gummy walls cling to him, pulsing and keeping him right there, and he groans. “So tight, course you want it, you’re practically choking my cock.”
You hear the other man’s happy sounds but you shut his voice out, focusing on Riki.
“More, please.” you beg.
“Should I give her more?” he asks the customer with a smug smirk.
“No, not yet.” the latter decides, panting.
Riki shrugs, looking at you, “You heard him baby, just stay still.”
You’re not even sure you can take it. Every slow pulse of his heartbeat travels right through the shaft and presses against the softest parts of you, each one makes your hips twitch with the need to fuck back. You can feel how hard he is—impossibly hard—yet he holds himself completely still, breath controlled, hands locked on your wrists to stop you from grinding. Because Riki is so still, you can feel everytime he leaks inside of you, his precum warm and sticking to your walls.
“Mmh, that’s good. You’re doing so good.” Riki praises, squeezing your wrists, his cock pulses and his hip twitch just a tiny bit, making him just as disobedient as you were. “Fuck, she feels so tight ‘round me.”
Something starts building in the pit of your stomach, you don’t even know why or how, but it just does. Your thighs quiver and your forehead drops to his shoulder once again, your mouth parted in a silent moan. But Riki doesn’t let you, he cups your face and forces you to look at him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“Nuh-huh, eyes on me.” he coos, stroking your flushed cheek while one hand still secures your wrists. “You’re such a mess, that pussy’s squeezing me so tight. Look at you, dripping all over.”
Riki pushes your chin down and makes you look at where you’re connected, he brings his hand there and collects the slick that’s coating his pelvis, fingers shiny. “She’s soaked, I should fuck her now, don’t you think? What if I just…” he bucks his hips, tip hitting your g-spot until you moan in pleasure. “… do this a couple times and leave her there shaking?”
He seems to react to whatever the man says on the phone—which you just don’t hear because apparently you have selective hearing—and he abruptly stops. You whine in frustration, rocking just a bit on his lap to find some sort of friction, but there’s just his heavy cock stretching you out and pulsing inside you.
“Please,” you whimper, “please, I need it.”
Riki squeezes your wrists unmoving and he kisses your collarbone, “You’re gonna have it when he decides baby. I don’t make the rules.”
You clench around him, the whatever that was building in your lower stomach intensifying everytime he opens his filthy mouth, you wanna hit him, make him fuck you senseless until you don’t even remember which day it is, but you can’t do shit. If the client weren’t there you would’ve already rode his cocky ass into tomorrow.
But it gets to a point where it’s just too much, your pussy grips him times and times again, almost in a rhythm, which makes his tip brush against your spot and your eyes roll back. You don’t even have to rock your hips to feel some sort of dizzying friction, and it seems like Riki’s understood it too, the way his cock twitches and his balls draw up. He hisses when you squeeze particularly hard and his eyes squeeze shut in agony.
“She’s gonna come without me even moving, I don’t have any room she’s squeezing so tight,” Riki tells the customer, then he looks at you and speaks, “I bet you’d sound so pretty if I could just fuck you properly, wouldn’t you?”
The next second, you feel his cock throb violently and his lips meet your neck, smugness all gone, “fuck, stop squeezing or I’m gonna cum baby.”
You whimper, a useless string of ‘please, please please’ coming out of your mouth and you clasp your hands together while he still holds them.
“Stay still,” the customer says, panting. “Both of you.”
You nod even though he can’t see you, but you’re so close it hurts. You pant, walls milking Riki’s cock as he fights it himself, sucking a spot in your neck. It’s too much, you try not to, but it just comes unbidden, you clench one last time, the head of his cock against your cervix, and your back arches.
“Fuck, I can’t—” you moan, eyes shut and head thrown back. Riki instantly looks at you, mesmerized, and he thrusts the tiniest bit to chase the friction. “I can’t..”
You come apart, your hips twitching over and over as you fight not to bounce on him. The lack of movement makes your climax feel denser, heavier, like it has nowhere to go except deeper into your body. You shake through it staying still, every pulse of your orgasm squeezing down on the hard length that refuses to move, until you’re left trembling and oversensitive with him still buried inside you, unmoving, as if nothing’s happened.
“That’s it, it’s okay. Fuck… she came so hard, didn’t even do anything,” Riki groans, hips stuttering, but before the customer can say anything he leans to your ear and whispers, “get off, i’m so close pretty.”
You shake your head, and when he releases your wrists you moan in contentment, “can I make him cum?” you ask the man on the phone.
He replies with a breathy voice, “Yes go ahead,”
So you take your cue, you brace yourself on his shoulders and when you start moving your own body screams in pleasure, everything sensitive. Riki throws his head back in a groan and his cock nearly slips out with how wet you are. When only the tip remains inside of you, you drop back down on his lap.
“Oh fuck—” Riki moans, gripping your ass, hips, anything.
He watches you through hooded eyes as you fuck yourself on his cock, his orgasm closer and closer, “I’m gonna come, doll. Just—get off.”
You shake your head once again, pressing little kisses to his shoulder as you bounce on his cock, “I’m clean and I’m on birth control,”
Riki groans, as if relieved he’s not gonna have to pull out and he bucks his hips, meeting your movements. “Fuck…you’re gonna—ah shit, keep going baby.”
You follow his lead, and a couple of bounces later, Riki’s cock is throbbing and the phone, which had been sitting on the arm of the armchair, almost falls. You scramble to grab it and hold it between the two of you, because he didn’t even notice, too fucked out to care. A string of ‘fuck fuck fuck’ comes out of his mouth and his hips stutter, his fingers digging into your flesh.
His stomach tightens under you and a broken sound leaves his throat. It’s a sign Riki’s control is fraying. You feel his cock swell even thicker inside you, the head pressing hard against that spot that makes your thighs shake and his grip on you tightens.
“Fuck—don’t stop,” he manages, voice rough. “Just like that—”
Before you or he knows it, he’s cumming.
Riki’s whole body goes rigid underneath you. A raw, punched-out sound tears out of his throat as his cock starts pulsing hard inside you—sticky surges of heat flooding deep. You can feel every spurt, the way his cock kicks and throbs while he empties into you. Riki’s hands clamp down on your hips hard enough to hurt, holding you flush against him so he can keep pumping cum as deep as possible. His thighs are shaking, his stomach is clenched and you feel he’s still trying to thrust up into you even while he’s coming desperate little movements that force every drop further inside.
Riki looks wrecked. Eyes half-lidded, mouth open, chest heaving, but his hands are still gripping you, unwilling to move even just a bit.
There should be a study on how greedy a girl can be, because the second you receive a text from Sunoo a couple days later, saying ‘tomorrow night is club night’ you reply without a second thought.
You’re not exactly planning on getting laid again—not that you’ve had your fill with Riki—you’re just looking to go out and party. But, if the opportunity presents itself you won’t decline, that’s for sure. You’re not sure why, but the scenario you fall asleep with doesn’t involve any handsome stranger on the dance floor. It’s involuntary but you can’t help but think about Riki, about Jungwon in the elevator, Jake in the booth, Sunghoon and Heeseung. Even Jay—if you’re being honest—but you wouldn’t actually go there, he’s your boss.
A little imagination doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s fine.
But is it crazy to be this level of greedy and imagine stuff with 5 different men?
Whether you’re thinking about them individually or not is irrelevant, but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be ashamed to indulge in your filthy thoughts.
Things have been going smooth over at Hotline 1OO9. You like that what happened with Riki hasn’t changed the atmosphere one bit, nothings awkward, you just have a nice little secret thing you two together.
You’ve never really talked about it, for you it was just part of the job, a ‘professional’ act heightened by obvious sexual frustration. You were just two ticking bombs waiting to go off, two consensual adults who took advantage of the circumstances.
It would be a lie to say it hasn’t happened again though.
Just the other day, you were walking past him in the empty break room and his fingers accidentally found your ass. He squeezed and you were a goner. You snuck in his pod and made out for god knows how long, dry humped like horny teens and you ended up on your knees sucking him off while he praised you.
You’ve found a new pleasant sense of reward in not being in control. You love it when Riki pulls your hair, calls you a good girl and slaps his dick on your tongue. It makes your stomach feel all warm and fuzzy when he says in that deep voice of his, “such a pretty girl on her knees for me like that.”
It would be a tremendous lie to say that you haven’t thought at least 20 times about the other day when in the break room, Riki sat next to you on the couch and slipped his hand on your thigh while everyone was talking.
It’s safe to say Sunoo and Jungwon noticed, then said something like, “In plain sight?” which made the others notice as well.
After all you were a group of shameless adults—the job had made you so unbothered about sex—so no one said anything about it. Sunghoon just winked exaggeratedly at Riki and Heeseung grabbed your other thigh in retaliation.
You fall asleep thinking about how it would feel to have them share you, as stupid as it sounds because you know it’s never gonna happen. You’ve read enough reverse harem books to know it sounds extremely pleasurable, you don’t have to choose and get a little taste of everything—a taste of five different worlds if you will.
When you think about it too deeply you feel like a whore so you just shake the thoughts aside and let sleep take you.
Come the next morning, you’re walking inside the office with a cookie jar and your purse. The cookie jar was your mom’s doing, she passed by a couple days ago and dropped them off, saying you should give some out to your colleagues. But because she thinks you still work at your old company—which is huge—she made 5 jars, so your kitchen counter is currently crowded with chocolate chip cookies.
You drop them on the coffee table in the break room and you immediately clock in with Jay. He’s wearing a crisp suit today, as per usual, and his hair is styled to perfection making him look like every woman’s dream.
“Good morning y/n.” he greets with a smile, “We got feedback on the website by the way. It was that guy from the call with Riki, he said you were awesome and recommended it. He even put heart emojis.”
You smile, “Morning sir, awesome news.”
Jay must notice how jolly you are because he asks, “What’s got you all smiley today?”
Pregnancy glow? Today’s lunch packed in your bag? What can you even say instead of the truth? It being that you’re a sexually pleased woman who’s gonna be even more sexually pleased tonight.
“Nothing sir, I’m always like that.” you shrug, smiling wider.
Your old boss’s email comes to your mind and you quickly shut up. Being notably not-smiley is what got you fired, so it’s best you refrain from speaking.
“When we first met you told me to fuck off and thought I was a scammer y/n, I don’t think you’re always like that.” Jay chuckles, going through paperwork like the busy man he is.
“Well yeah, but with all due respect boss, you sounded like a mix of that Squid Games recruiter guy and El professor in La Casa Del Papel.” you clutch your purse, half expecting him to get mad like your old boss would.
Instead he just chuckles, clearly agreeing. “I know, I did sound weird. But I’m glad you took the time to think about my offer and didn’t jump to conclusions. Now look at you, 20 requests a day, successful as ever.”
That you are. Now thanks to your critical thinking you can afford rent and not be worried about unemployment. And if someone has to say anything about your line of work they can go fuck off. You give Jay the brightest smile you can manage, “Thank you for not firing me because I don’t smile often sir.”
Jay laughs, a little confused but amused, “What? That’s not a reason to fire someone.”
And you’re sure if you had more money maybe you would’ve sued that damn company. There was always something a little fishy with that excuse anyways.
The day goes by fairly fast, you don’t even go out of your pod much because of how many calls you’ve been scheduled to today. Some are fine, some are weird but not a big deal because you get paid in the end.
Some guy called just to ask for sex advice, which you found particularly funny because not once did he initiate any type of conversation other than ‘how can I make my current girlfriend feel good?’ you gave him all you knew, tips and tricks and then hung up with an amused smile.
You ate lunch with your colleagues as usual, talked about inviting the boss to your little night out but opted not to because it was weird and probably unethical.
After eating you and Jungwon sat on the sofa and watched videos on his phone, your chin on his shoulder. He scrolled through his timeline and made occasional comments, looking at you from the corner of his eyes at times. When Jake came by, he sat next to Jungwon and adopted the same position you did, watching with the both of you.
But as soon as you heard the boss move in his office you straightened up and pretended to look at the wall, aware of how unprofessional it looked.
Jay came out and stopped right in the threshold, looking at you with raised eyebrows. “What’s with the faces? Break’s over in 20 folks.”
Dominated by the work system, you got up exactly twenty minutes later and got to work. Riki interrupted you a couple times, just “swinging by” as he said, to squeeze that ass he seemed to love, then walked back to his own pod like he’d accomplished his mission.
But the last time he did it—curtains be damned—Heeseung was walking by and saw everything. He didn’t make a big deal out of it, just snorted and said “sharing is caring man.”
You decided not to dwell on it because he was probably joking, but—surprisingly—there were a few instances of you imagining what ‘sharing’ implied.
The rest of the afternoon went by fast, and the next thing you knew you were clocking out, saying your farewells to no one but Park Jongseong who, unfortunately, wasn’t invited.
Your ass looks fabulous in your dress and everyone seems to think so too.
The way Jake looks at it says a lot actually, it’s like he’s seen a ghost, his eyes avert and his cheeks get red immediately like he’s judging himself for the thoughts he’s having.
Sometimes, if you’re being honest, you look at Jake and wonder how he does the job he does.
If you were to see him in the subway you’d think he works in engineering or teaches astronomy and only has sex once in a blue moon. But apparently the man does get laid, he’s just not cocky with it.
Riki, though, is plenty cocky. Once he gets a good look at your ass he gives it a squeeze, not really caring to be sneaky.
Haejin notices and points at him, “I knew you guys fucked.”
Jungwon and Heeseung snort. You’re waiting in line at the club entrance and you’re all pressed together along the wall, a thick cigarette smoke fog hovering over the crowd. Someone’s smoking cigarettes after cigarettes and it’s making your nose itchy.
“I swear to God if you’re greedy and wanna steal my hookup tonight I’ll make sure you get fired Rik.” Sunghoon points at him accusing.
One of his Riki’s hands goes to your lower back and he answers, “I’m good man, the club is all yours.”
It wouldn’t be Riki if his hand didn’t slip down to your ass for the nth time and squeezed. He then proceeds to lean down to your ear and whisper, “I’m hoping I get to take you home tonight.”
You snort, swatting his hand away playfully, “What if I want a change?”
Riki settles his hand on your hip this time as the line progresses, “Well I can share. How’s that for a change?” he smiles.
“You’re willing to share with a complete stranger?” Jungwon raises an eyebrow, leaning against the wall.
“I don’t know, any of you interested?” he looks around, expecting them to be grossed out.
When everyone raises their hand but Sunoo, you look surprised, and with filthy contempt, your mind files it as a very important information.
The latter looks at Haejin and raises an eyebrow, attempting to be secretive. As soon as he does that she drops her hand to the side and you pretend you didn’t see what happened.
“Well guess that settles it. Fill out forms and email them I guess.” Riki rolls his eyes, prentending to be jealous.
Sometime after, the bouncer finally lets you all in. You walk to the bar in a tight group and order a couple drinks to start the night. You don’t drink all that much so you get a single cocktail and decides it’ll be the last.
You all walk through the crowd, the speakers blaring ‘Kiss me thru the phone’, bodies are all pressed together, slick with sweat and you spot a few people making out savagely already.
Riki and Heeseung stay behind you all the time, like a fridge protecting its snack, and you notice Haejin’s pressed tightly to Sunoo’s chest. It’s not even a surprise when the slick bastard glares at a guy he’s caught looking at her.
Jungwon notices and looks back at you, amused, but neither of your say anything.
Once you’re deep inside the jungle of bodies you all stop. Sunghoon’s already looking around like he’s searching a prey and Jake’s eyeing the ceiling like he wants to go home.
So what better than to mess with him? You grab his arm and start dancing with him, trying to lighten him up a bit with a couple back and forth rocks to the beat of the music. He relaxes after a little bit and starts easing into it, hands coming up naturally to your hips as he smiles.
By the time the third song comes around, everyone’s having fun. Sunoo’s pressed up against Haejin, Sunghoon’s already found a girl to chat up and you’re still with Jake, only this time there’s Riki behind you and Jungwon on the side sipping on his drink. You’re boxed by them, grinding your ass shamelessly on Riki while Jungwon watches with a playful glint in his dark eyes and Jake quite literally endures, cheeks as red as wine. You make sure he’s not uncomfortable by asking him a couple times in his ear, to which he replies by getting even more flustered by your proximity.
But Heeseung’s nursing a drink—not at all unhappy—he’s wearing a dopey grin like he’s having the time of his life even though he’s not doing anything. You turn around to look, and reach for his arm, dragging him closer so he doesn’t feel left out. He holds onto Jungwon and starts dancing, moving his body to the bass boosted music. It would be a lie to say he’s not a bit drunk, his cheeks are flushed and he’s grinning like an idiot—even more than Jake usually is—he holds onto Won for dear life and nearly spills jis drink when someone passes by.
“Heeseung man we just got here like an hour ago.” Riki snickers, amused. “Get your shit together or you’re not gonna get laid tonight.”
He just beams, taking another sip and moving his hips, “Nopeeee, don’t care.”
Riki gets closer to you, pressing his front to your ass, indirectly pushing you closer to Jake and Jungwon in the process. It feels nice to be between all of them, especially the way Jake grips your hips and looks at you like you’ve hung the moon.
But soon after, Heeseung starts feeling dizzy and says he wants to grab some fresh air, and Won volunteers to go with him so he doesn’t stay alone. They slip out of sight and you’re left sandwiched between Jake and Riki’s bodies, the latter hardening almost imperceptibly against your ass.
It’s not even a surprise, you’ve noticed how high his stamina is, it’s like he’s always up for it, always ready to go. Jake’s a little further away, so you can’t exactly feel him, but it wouldn’t be a revelation if you were to find out he’s hard—it seems to be his default reaction, he even gets hard when he sees good food apparently.
When Sunghoon comes back, he looks defeated and points at the girl he was talking to, declaring, “She was trying to get over her ex and find someone to make a sextape with.” he sighs, “tonight’s not my night.”
“There’s plenty fishes in the sea,” Riki comforts him, gripping your lower back.
Sunghoon gets closer, taking the spot Jungwon vacated, “Only one fish I want anyway.” he looks at you when he says that, then back at Riki, “Where did Heeseung and Won go?”
Jake intervenes, “They’re outside to grab some air.”
“Bro, they can’t come back inside if they go out. Are they fucking stupid?” Sunghoon scoffs, looking around and squinting towards the exit.
At the same exact moment your phone buzzes in your purse, vibrating on your sides. You slip your hand inside and grab it, it’s Jungwon.
“Yo, no one’s picking up their phone. The bouncer won’t let us come in again.” you hear him, his voice muffled with the sound of the music.
And yes, that’s the story of how you all end up on the sidewalk, sitting side by side on a line just because the dumbfucks couldn’t ask the bouncer for information before going out. Heeseung’s been apologizing profusely and you tell him it’s not his fault everytime, that it’s all good and you were tired anyway.
News flash you weren’t, you were just getting started. But can’t win em all.
It’s quickly forgotten about when Heeseung suggests you all come to his place for some drinks. Everyone accepts happily, except well….Sunoo and Haejin who look at each other and clear their throats.
But before they can say anything, the party host scrambles towards them.
“Yes you guys can just go home and fuck like rabbits. Trust me we know.” he slurs on unsteady feet.
There’s a silence before everyone snorts including Haejin and Sunoo who instinctively get closer now that the ‘secret’s’ out.
“We all knew, you guys are obvious as fuck.” Sunghoon states, smiling widely.
You part your ways and head to Heeseung’s small apartment conveniently located a couple blocks away from the nightclub. The whole way Riki and Jungwon have to hold him so he doesn’t trip although he says he’s not that drunk. Once you’re in front of his building he struggles to get his keys out and Jake has to dig in his back pocket to find them. “Stop touching my ass man.” Heeseung giggles, swatting his hand away when he gets the keys out.
When he manages to open the door, Heeseung stumbles inside and calls the elevator. You look around at the group of men encircling you and feel like the world’s biggest slut, anyone who would see this would think you’re a total whore and whatever other prejudiced words they can come up with.
But in truth, you don’t really care all that much, you like being slutty at times, it’s fun and doesn’t harm the environment anyway.
When the doors open to the second floor, Jake already prepares the keys to open Heeseung’s door. He waits for him to sign which one is his and quickly works it open.
“I’m sorry for the mess,” Heeseung mumbles as he kicks off his shoes in the entryway. The apartment is spotless so you don’t even know what mess he’s talking about.
Probably the mess in your panties—
“Yeah you’re drunk man, go to sleep,” Riki chuckles, pushing him towards the hallway like he knows the house.
“I’m not even tired, gimme some water, I’ll just shower and sober up,” the man groans like a child, holding onto the wall.
You grab the first bottle water of bottle you see on the kitchen counter and uncap it, handing it to him. When you realize he’s not even gonna be able to drink it, you push it to his mouth, one hand cupped under his chin and you tilt the bottle. Heeseung’s heavy eyes are on you while he drinks. “So pretty,” he mumbles when he’s done, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Yeah, get line,” Jungwon pushes him playfully.
Riki escorts him to bed, but not before Heeseung makes a point of kissing your cheek and exclusively telling you goodnight. You pat his hair and watch him get carried away to his bedroom with a fond smile.
“Alright let’s see where he keeps his booze,” Sunghoon starts looking through his friend’s drawers, in the kitchen too. When he finally finds his stash of alcohol he holds a bottle of vodka to his chest. “This motherfucker only has cheap stuff.”
“That’ll do,” Riki snatches the bottle from him when he comes back, one hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer.
Once seated on the couch, you all get comfortable, Sunghoon props his socked feet on the coffee table ontop of Hee’s electricity bills and yawns as he stretches. Jake finds the fluffy armchair in the middle of the living room while you sit between Jungwon and Riki and uncap the vodka bottle, pouring it in little plastic cups they’ve found in the kitchen. You hand them to the four boys, not in the mood to drink yourself. Riki drops a kiss yo your cheek as a thank you, obviously mocking Heeseung earlier.
“It’s a fail for everyone except those bastards Haejin and Sunoo,” Sunghoon sighs into his cup, emptying it in seconds.
His arms flex as he puts it on the coffee table and you find yourself looking at his biceps, or him in general. The way his body is sculpted, the shape of his broad shoulders, everything looks good—it’s something he has in common with the three other boys, they’re all equally handsome everywhere.
“Speak for yourself,” Riki mutters, eyes bored on the side of your face, one hand on your thigh. When you turn to look at him he smirks, emptying his cup in one gulp.
“Yeah just go ahead and fuck right then and there you bastards,” Sunghoon groans, frustrated.
“You’re jealous as fuck Hoon,” the boy holding your thigh teases, shooting him a playful look. “Should‘ve gone with the sextape girl.”
“I’d rather choke, I’lll just live vicariously through you man, it’s okay.” he cringes at the thought, dusting off his perfectly clean t shirt.
There’s a silence before you decide to be extremely unhinged. You turn to look at Sunghoon through your lashes and you joke, “Don’t you want the real thing?”
There’s a long moment. You think you’ve said something dumb when you see Sunghoon’s mouth open and close, but when he presses his palms to his face and groans you melt in your seat. “Don’t say that y/n.” he breathes out, a little desperate in all honesty.
“What’s wrong with what she said?” Riki teases, a smug smile on his face as he squeezes your thigh.
Jake looks at you from the armchair, shifting in his seat, he looks like he’s heard the craziest thing ever, his boba eyes widening by the second. Jungwon’s also gazing thoughtfully at you, like he’s trying to figure out if you’re joking or not. Although you originally were, their reaction only fuels the inner monologue you’ve been having these days, until you’re not entirely sure you’re fooling around anymore.
“Did you even hear her man??” Sunghoon replies, man spreading on the couch like he owns it. “Y/n you can’t be saying that. It’s not even funny.”
“I wasn’t even joking though,” you shrug, looking at him innocently, although the smirk on your mouth tells a whole different story.
Riki cups your chin and tilts your head towards him, eyes already zeroing in on your lips. His tongue darts out to wet his own, plump lips parting and lower one going between his teeth.
“Don’t even bother, I think he doesn’t want to,” he teases, giving Sunghoon a taunting look before focusing back on you. “I’ll take care of you baby, how’s that sound?”
You swear you hear Jake’s hitch from his spot but before you can turn your head to verify, Riki wraps a hand around your neck and pulls you closer until his lips are merely inches away from yours. The bastard looks you right in the eye and gives you that haunting playful smirk before he dives in. His lips melt into yours and without giving it much thought he parts them, tongue slipping in your mouth in a filthy kiss. Riki’s fingers tighten around your neck, making it a point to make you moan for him, so his friends can only marvel at the sight. You gasp into the kiss, tongue dancing with his, all the while his other hand snakes down to your hips and tugs you closer, almost on his lap.
You couldn’t even hear the rest of the world if you wanted, your ears ringing with how bad you want this. It feels exhilarating to know you’re being watched, three pairs of eyes burning into your skin from all sides of the room. It only seems to pump Riki meaner, his hand squeezing your throat until you’re dizzy and moaning into the kiss, it’s the perfect amount of pressure, not too much just enough to render you a mess.
“Sound so fucking pretty,” Riki rasps as he lets go of your lips and finds a spot on your neck to suck on.
Your eyes open and you find all three men staring right at you, as expected. Jake’s frozen, his mouth slightly ajar and his hands gripping the leather of the armchair. Sunghoon doesn’t have his hands on his face anymore, he’s got them gripping his thighs, jaw clenched. And Jungwon looks wrecked, the paper cup crumpled in his hand as he fights the urge to reach and join.
When Riki sucks a dark spot in your neck, your lips part and the moan you let out makes all three boys tense in their seats. “That’s right baby, let them hear.” you feel Riki’s smirk against your skin.
“You’re not playing fair man,” Jungwon groans, captivated by the sound of your pleasure.
Riki let’s go of your skin with a wet pop, “What do you think baby, am I being fair?”
You smile dizzily, “I did tell Sunghoon he could have the real thing and he didn’t even answer, so I guess you’re being fair.”
The latter instantly protests, “I thought you were joking y/n, I didn’t think you—”
You cut him by getting up on wobbly feet and making it in front of him, before he even knows what’s happening you’re climbing on his lap. “This okay?” you whisper in his ear as you fully settle, legs bracketing his.
When his arms instantly wrap around you, the answer is made clear. Sunghoon nods, looking at you like a divinity, “Could’ve already been doing this a long time ago.” he states, pulling closer until youre snug right against his core.
“You should’ve said something then,” you smile against his jaw then nip at his earlobe until he shivers. You feel the other men’s eyes on your body as you start moving in Sunghoon’s lap, grinding down on the front of his pants. “Should’ve kissed me right on the break room couch that other day.”
Sunghoon lets out a breathy laugh, gripping your hips as he fights for his composure, he’s about to say something but Jungwon beats him to it, “You had a chance and fucked it up, how stupid can you be.”
With his foot, Sunghoon kicks the other man’s leg, trying to focus solely on your beautiful face, “As far as I know you didn’t make a move either.”
“He’s right, you should have too,” you lean towards Jungwon, still on his friend’s lap, and you catch his expecting lips in a kiss.
He tastes like vodka when his tongue slips into your mouth. He’s a messy kisser, all tongue and teeth, biting your lip occasionally. You feel Sunghoon’s cock throb in his pants and moan into Jungwon’s mouth at the feeling.
“Jake man, come closer. Come watch her.” Riki tells him, beckoning with a curled finger.
You hear him get up before he takes the spot you vacated earlier, eyes a physical weight on your body. Sunghoon bucks his hips to remind you of whose lap you’re on, his hands come down to your ass, wanting you so much closer than humanly possible and your reply by rocking your hips on him, indulging in the friction. It feels so good, Jungwon’s tongue caressing yours, Sunghoon’s thick cock practically begging to be taken out and the other boys looking like they don’t wanna miss a single second of it.
When you break the kiss, your lips are connected to his by a string of saliva that breaks when you look at Jake, beckoning him closer. He stands up ever so obediently and walks over to you. From where you sit you have to look up at him, the sight only making the problem in his pants harder, you trace a path up his thighs and cups him through his pants. “Gimme kiss,” you practically purr.
Jake nearly folds like trash origami, his hips buck to meet your hand and when you finally kiss him he melts. You go slower with him, tongue grazing his in a tantalizing way, you give his clothed cock a squeeze and he whimpers in your mouth, needy as ever. When you break the kiss he chases your lips, cheeks a deep red and lips shiny.
“Sit down and watch.” you order, not even doubting he’ll do as he’s told.
When Jake sinks down to the floor, you look at the man whose lap you’re sitting on and grin, wiggling on his aching dick. Sunghoon’s eyes follow your wandering hands as you cup him through his pants and tug at the zipper, when asked he lifts up his hips and lets you take his cock out. His is incredibly thick, smaller than Riki’s but impossibly thick you’re sure your fingers wouldn’t fully touch if wrapped around it. To test that theory you put you grab him and it’s with no surprise that you note your fingers don’t touch around the base.
“Can’t even wrap my hand around it Hoonie,” you say in a small voice, giving him a light stroke that makes his hips jolt. You take his own hand in yours and bring it to his leaking cock. “Show me how you do it.”
To your side, Riki and Jungwon are breathing harder, the latter palming the bulge in his jeans, both their eyes stuck on you like you’re some sort of succubus. But when Sunghoon’s hand wraps around his cock, it’s Jake who nearly whimpers. You look over to him and cup his chin, pulling him closer so he can get a better view. “You wanna see so bad baby?”
Jake nods vehemently and swallows hardly, “You look so pretty like that,”
You lean back and drop a kiss to his lips, licking them while you get back to Sunghoon. He’s steadily pumping himself now, fingers on his balls while he thrusts in the crease between his thumb and pointer finger. “Fuck,” he groans, “put your hand on me.”
You cover his own hand with yours, tightening his grip on his cock and move it up and down, guiding the friction. You collect the precum with your palm and use it as lubricant for your strokes. Sunghoon focuses on the base while you pump the tip, your hands slick and meeting each time you glide. It’s filthy—even more so when you spit on his tip and his cock twitches, his head throwing back in utter agony. You use your saliva and tighten your grip, thumb rubbing his head while the other works with his own. Riki’s unbuckled his jeans by now, palming himself while patiently waiting for his turn.
“F-fuck,” Sunghoon pants, a slave to his pleasure now. “Jungwon come here, use her mouth”
His friend gets up as quickly as possible and travels to the side of the couch where he stands, gaze bored on your hand working. “Cmere baby, open up,” he encourages as his thumb settles on your lower lip, pushing past it.
You lick around his thumb, suckling as your hand goes faster on Sunghoon’s cock. Jungwon hums in admiration as his other hand quickly undoes his jeans and lets them drop to his knees. “You’re gonna be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth now, okay?” he taunts, boxers tugged down as well.
Jungwon’s cock is long, a thin patch of hair leading from his lower stomach to it, and it stands proudly, leaking so much that’s it’s made a stain on his boxers. When you nod, he doesn’t seem to think it’s enough and shakes his head disapprovingly.
“What did I teach you baby?” Riki intervenes, delivering a light slap to your ass. “You gotta use your words.”
You nod again, a soft ‘yes’ coming out of your parted lips. Sunghoon practically thrusts into his and your hand, making a mess of precum on his stomach. But before you can even wipe it off, Jungwon presses his cock against your lips, rubbing his own precum all over them until they look plump and like you’ve put gloss on. The moment he pushes his dick past your lips, you swear you feel Sunghoon’s heartbeat in his cock. Airs gone rancid by now, all three of them watching Jungwon’s length fit perfectly inside your mouth, his breathing hacking out wet.
“Mmh, fuck… look at you baby, look at those pretty lips,” he groans, cupping your face almost tenderly if it wasn’t for the other hand tangling in your hair and pulling slightly.
Your eyes roll back behind your closed lids and you suck him in, hollowing out your cheeks before letting him go with a pop and resuming with messy licks. You practically makeout with his tip, suckling on it, licking each and every side until his thighs tense, you don’t stop until the room fills with filthy sounds. Your fingers keep working Sunghoon’s dick all the while, tangling with his own in a wet mess under Riki’s approving gaze.
“Look at you…” he hums, sneaking behind you to drop a kiss on your bare shoulder. His tongue traces a path up to your neck and sucks a dark spot, causing you to moan around Jungwon’s tip. “You’re so good at this, look at Sunghoon baby, he’s gone already.”
Your eyes find him below you, his head is thrown back, eyes wild and wanton, hand working through his own pleasure like he’s drunk on it. Jungwon’s hips shift until he’s practically fully sheathed in your mouth, regaining your attention. He tugs at your hair—noticing how eager you get when he does it—and one of his hands goes to your ass so he can lift up the hem of your dress. He smirks at Jake who—if he’s being honest—feels terribly lonely on the floor, and delivers a sharp smack to your bare ass.
Jake watches the flesh move with the echo of Jungwon’s slap and fights to not burry his face in between your sweet thighs. You swallow around the man’s cock, a ring of saliva forming and dripping down your chin, making a proper mess of your collarbone in the process, Riki resumes his his taunting kisses on your neck and one hand comes to squeeze that ass he loves so much.
He hooks a finger in your thong, tugs at it only to watch it snap back in place, “Such a pretty ass, you’re just pretty all over aren’t you?”
Riki’s mouth travels up to your jaw and cheek, and when he gets close enough, he licks around your mouth to clean the mess of saliva you’ve made. Jungwon actually freezes for a second, seeing how close he is to his dick, but the low groan he emits says a lot about how he feels.
“Messy girl,” the youngest teases, licking his own lips while stroking your ass cheek. You’re so lost in pleasure you start rocking your hips against Sunghoon’s thighs, which he notices by the way his breathing gets shallower and his mouth hangs open.
Your mouth leaves Won with a pop and you look back at Jake, miserably sitting on the floor, gazing up at you like admiring a painting. “You can touch me baby, go ahead.” you tell him, lips curling into a cheeky smile.
It doesn’t take more than a millisecond for his hands to be on your ass along with Riki’s. Jake kisses his way up your spine, sending shivers all over you body, he traces every ridge of every bone and makes it a point to let you know you are beautiful and wanted. Your head lolls, fingers loosing cadence on Sunghoon’s cock—but fear not, he wraps his own around yours and guides them up and down the slick length with a low groan.
“Can I taste you, please?” Jake looks up at you with those boba eyes and those thick lashes, “Let me make you feel good.”
You suddenly get up off of Sunghoon’s lap, leaving him breathless, cock twitching and eyebrows furrowed, Jungwon’s stroking himself lazily, watching your every move. When you sink down on the floor and push Jake to a lying position, Riki hums approvingly.
You straddle his lap, your lips find his chest and place sparse tender kisses all the way to his pale neck, you only give him a taste of your mouth before shifting. The man waits with wide eyes that get even wider the second your thighs bracket his face, but when you’re done hovering and sit down, Jake whimpers. You settle your your full weight down onto his mouth, his nose is buried against your clit, his lips sealed around you, and every time he exhales you feel the warm rush of his breath against your soaked cunt.
You’re dripping onto his tongue, you feel it all over, your thong when Jake pulls it aside and it hits your skin. You look up at the others, quite proud of the hold you seem to have on them, and you beckon Riki to come closer. He doesn’t even wait, he knows exactly what’s his to take and so in a swift movement, his pants are discarded on the floor along with his calvin kleins.
“That’s my girl,” he breathes out, one hand twisting your hair in a loose ponytail. His cock throbs at the sight of you on your knees and just as he’s about to press it to your lips, you lift a finger.
It’s a shameless move, and you’re not sure how you’re going to manage but you call Sunghoon over. He rises from the sofa like he’s been waiting for the invitation, cock still flushed and shiny from your earlier attention, the head glistening as he steps closer. Riki’s grip in your hair tightens just enough to tilt your face up, and the second Sunghoon is within reach you open your mouth for him.
He slides in slow, letting you feel every thick inch while Jake’s tongue works greedily beneath you. It’s so tantalizingly good that every part of you is set aflame, the heavy length of Sunghoon stretching your lips while Jake’s mouth seals tighter around your cunt, nose pressed firm against your clit. You moan around the cock in your mouth and the vibration makes Sunghoon’s hips stutter.
“Fuck,” he breathes, one hand coming to rest at the back of your head. “Look at you go…”
Riki watches with pleased eyes, still stroking himself slowly beside you. Jungwon has moved closer too, standing just off to the side, fist wrapped loosely around his cock as he drinks in the sight of you—mouth full, ass still marked faintly from earlier. You love it, you’ve never felt so full—albeit technically totally empty.
Jake’s hands come up to grip your hips, pulling you down harder onto his tongue and he licks into you like he’s starving for it in messy strokes that make your thighs tremble. Every time you rock forward to take Sunghoon deeper, you grind down onto Jake’s face, smearing yourself across his mouth and chin. He loves it though, you can see his hips buck in the air, waiting for some kind of friction.
You pull off Sunghoon’s cock just long enough to catch your breath, a string of saliva still connecting your bottom lip to the head. “Don’t just stand there,” you tell Jungwon, voice rough. “Come here.”
Needless to say he steps in immediately. You wrap your free hand around him, stroking in time with the way you sink your mouth back down onto Sunghoon and Riki’s fingers stay twisted in your hair, guiding the rhythm.
The latter leans in close to your ear, “You’re soaking him, baby. Poor Jake can barely breathe and he’s still trying to get his tongue deeper.” He nips at your earlobe. “You gonna come on his face while you’ve got Sunghoon’s cock down your throat?”
The words send a violent pulse straight between your legs. Jake moans against you like he heard them too, the sound vibrating through your cunt, and your thighs tighten around his head. Sunghoon’s breath is getting ragged above you, every time you hollow your cheeks he curses under his breath like he’s about to combust.
Jungwon’s hand covers yours on his cock, showing you the exact pace he wants, the exact twits of your hand he prefers, while his other hand reaches down to squeeze your breast through the half-open dress. You’re surrounded—mouths and hands on every side—and the only thing you can do is take it.
You roll your hips harder against Jake’s face, chasing the building pressure, and he answers by sucking your clit between his lips and flicking his tongue against it in quick strokes.
The pleasure coils tight and low in your stomach, and you’re not even sure when was the last time you’ve felt so good. You’re so close it almost hurts —thighs shaking, breath coming in sorts of short gasps around the cock in your mouth.
As for Sunghoon, he’s been hard for so long already, twitching against your tongue every time you hollow your cheeks, and you can taste how close he is. His hand tightens at the back of your head, hips starting to push forward in these little aborted thrusts like he can’t help it anymore.
Riki’s still got your hair in his fist, watching everything with that smug smirk. “Look at Sunghoon,” he murmurs against your ear, “he’s been leaking since you first touched him. Poor thing’s about to lose it.”
You moan around the cock in your mouth and the vibration makes Sunghoon’s whole body jolt. You can tell he wants to say something to Riki, prideful as always, but he’s cut short by the force of his pleasure. Jake’s hands squeeze your thighs harder, pulling you down so his nose is crushed against you, tongue fucking into your cunt like he’s trying to get every drop. The pressure on your clit is perfect and so constant that you feel the coil in your stomach snap.
Your thighs shake hard around his head as you come, grinding down onto his mouth with broken little whimpers that vibrate around Sunghoon. They all watch you with hooded eyes, mesmerized while you’re dripping onto Jake’s tongue, pulsing against his lips, and he just keeps licking through it like he doesn’t need air. The pleasure rolls through you in heavy waves, making your fingers tighten around Jungwon and your throat flutter around Sunghoon.
That’s what pushes the latter over.
“Oh fuck, y/n…” he groans, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, “I’m gonna—”
He curses under his breath, hips stuttering, and then the next you know he’s cumming hard down your throat with hot pulses that you have to swallow around because he’s buried so deep. His hand fists in your hair, holding you there while he empties into your mouth, dick throbbing heavily against your tongue. You can feel how much he’s been holding back, the way every spurt seems to drag another wrecked sound out of him.
Jake, him, is still lapping at you through the aftershocks, messy and eager as usual, while Riki strokes himself faster at the sight of Sunghoon’s hips jerking and your throat working. Jungwon’s breathing is ragged beside you, watching his friend’s face like it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
When you finally pull off Sunghoon’s cock a string of saliva and cum connects your bottom lip to the head, and he looks completely gone—eyes an endless pit of darkness, mouth hanging open.
Riki laughs quietly, thumb brushing the corner of your messy mouth. “Good girl,”
But nobody had time to say anything or resume any movement because it suddenly comes to your attention that someone is standing at the door.
“Why does everyone always leave me out of things?” says a tired voice.
Heeseung has his fists clenched like a little kid getting out of bed to warn his parents he threw up, he glares at the boys but his eyes soften once he sees you still sitting on his friends face like it’s the most normal thing.
“You were drunk, man.” Riki clarifies, his cock lying untouched on his stomach.
“Couldn’t have you waited until I sobered up? Oh my god, in my own apartment bro.” the man groans, pointing to himself, “I’m sober now, i slept it off.”
“I don’t think it works like that man,” Jake says, muffled from under your cunt. You quickly get off him, wiping the cum from off your mouth. “I’m pretty sure it takes like 8 hours to sober up.”
Heeseung pulls out his phone while everyone sits back down, you put your dress back on your ass and sit on the floor, stroking Jake’s thigh. “Let’s fact check then, motherfucker. Cause I feel pretty sober right now seeing you guys leave me out like that.”
He does a quick google search, eyebrows raised like he’s sure he’s gonna make a point, and once he has the answer he says, “Hah. See?” he holds out his phone presenting a random page about alcohol and consent. “Nobody even asked me if I consented to it, you guys just did your thing without me. How sad is that.”
You snort, amused, and grab his phone to scroll down the article, your eyes quickly scanning the words. “I mean, he doesn’t seem confused, he’s not slurring, or behaving unusually.” you turn to him, “Do you want to join?”
Heeseung nods avidly, hair bouncing with the force of his agreement. But you cock your head, “Are you sure?” you ask him, “Spell my name backwards then count to 20.”
Jungwon chuckles, sitting next to Riki, and he watches with amusement as the former drunk spells your name backwards perfectly and counts to twenty.
Heeseung still looks a little wounded even after doing it without a single stumble, so you decide right then you’re going to make it up to him. You signal him with a tilt of your chin toward the couch and he sits without question, thighs spreading just enough for you to drop to your knees between them.
You lean in slow, nuzzling the soft skin of his inner thigh first, then higher, mouthing over the thick outline trapped in his pants. When you finally free him, the head is already shiny and leaking, it makes you wonder how long he’s truly wanted this. You take your time, tongue flattening against the underside in lazy strokes before you finally sink down, lips stretching around him.
Heeseung’s hand finds the back of your head almost immediately, fingers threading into your hair, not to push, just holding on like he needs the anchor. His breath keeps hitching every time you hollow your cheeks and drag up slow, the way he looks at his friends says a lot about how good this feels for him.
Jake drops onto the couch right next to him, close enough that their shoulders brush and their knees knock. But you’re so focused on the wet slide of your mouth that you almost miss the moment their faces tilt toward each other. It starts as a brush of lips, hesitant and questioning, then deeper, tongues meeting. You don’t even notice how it starts, but the next thing you know, they’re fully going at it, tongue and all.
The second they realie what they’re doing, though, they jerk apart like they’ve been burned, eyes wide, both of them flushing hard.
Jungwon’s already there, one hand on the back of each of their necks, shoving their heads together again with zero hesitation.
“Who the fuck cares if you’re boys,” he says, voice low and amused, “just kiss each other.”
You moan around Heeseung’s cock at the sight, the vibration making him twitch hard against your tongue. Jake’s cock is still untouched in his pants, a heavy line straining the fabric, but Heeseung’s hand is already there, palm rubbing over it through the material while they kiss again, messier this time, like the words unlocked something.
Heeseung doesn’t last. You feel the warning pulse, the way his thighs tense under your palms, and then he’s spilling across your tongue with a broken sound, hips stuttering. You suspect the sensations were only heightened by the feeling of Jake’s tongue and that makes your thighs squeeze together. He cradles your cheek after, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth where a little cum has escaped, eyes soft and a little dazed as he watches you swallow.
Nishimura Riki’s been quiet long enough.
“My turn,” he announces, sitting on the floor and offering you a hand. He makes a whole show of it—turning you so everyone can see, peeling the dress up your body inch by inch like he’s unwrapping something expensive, then hooking his fingers in the thin strings of your thong and dragging it down your legs so slowly it almost hurts.
When you’re bare he pulls you into his lap, ass up and facing the others so you’re presented to the room.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, hands spreading you open for them. “So fucking pretty like this.” He spits, the warmth landing right on your cunt, then uses two fingers to smear it around, circling your clit before pushing inside slow. “Already dripping for us again. Taking it so well.”
The others are stroking themselves while they watch—Sunghoon and Jungwon on either side, Jake and Heeseung still half-tangled. It’s no surprise when you notice Heeseung’s hand now fully inside Jake’s open fly, working him slow and unashamed. Riki keeps fingering you, dirty little praises spilling out under his breath, spreading your cheeks until you have to brace on the floor, face down.
A couple minutes after he’s lifting you like a ragdoll, both hands under your arms as he makes you straddle him, he finally lines up but only then does it occur to him how irresponsible this is.
“Condom?” he asks Heeseung, snapping his fingers at him.
The bastard doesn’t even hear, too engrossed in Jake’s kisses, his hand wrapped around his cock tugging lazily. Riki throws a discarded pillow at him, and his head snaps up.
“Condom man.” he repeats.
Quickly, Heeseung finds a stash of condoms in his cabinets and throws one at his friend who diligently tears it open and puts it on. You line yourself with his length and wrapping your arms around his neck you rub your sopping cunt against his tip. “Tssk, stop moving baby, you know how I get when you tease.” Riki warns with a click of his tongue.
When he sinks in in one long thrust, Riki doesnt even give you time to adjust, he grips your hips and guides you into a steady ride.
“Fuck… that’s it, mama. You gonna ride me like you did last time in the phone booth?” he rasps.
Sunghoon’s head snaps up, “You fucked in the pods???”
Riki only chuckles smugly and bucks up hard enough to punch a moan out of you, “and she liked it, didn’t you baby?” he squeezes your cheeks together and plants a kiss on your mouth.
“Mmh, yes.” you whimper mindlessly, just enjoying yourself, eyes closed with abandon.
You feel Sunghoon and Jungwon move closer, so you do what a professional multitasker does, you take one in each hand, stroking them in time with the roll of your hips, then lean to the side to suck Sunghoon deep before switching to Jungwon, alternating until your jaw aches in the best way. Riki just keeps thrusting up, filling you perfectly, hands roaming your waist, your tits, your throat until there’s no part of you left untouched.
Jake and Heeseung are practically seconds away from fucking—the latter has Jake’s cock fully out now, stroking him while they kiss like they’re starving, both of them flushed and clearly a lily embarrassed about how far they’ve gone. You catch Jake’s eye over your shoulder and smile, voice rough from the cock previously in your mouth.
“There’s no judgment here. Go ahead. I know you want it, Jakey.”
It acts as some sort of approval for him because the next second he’s out eating Heeseung’s mouth again. You start riding Riki faster, hips snapping down harder, chasing the thick stretch of him.
But all the while, your eyes stay locked on Heeseung and Jake—watching the way their hands wrap around each other’s cocks, stroking in desperate rhythm while they keep kissing like they can’t stop. Every time their mouths meet you clench around Riki without meaning to.
He notices, ever so attentive.
Riki’s hands come up and grab your cheeks, squeezing them together so your lips pout, forcing you to look at him while he thrusts up to meet every drop of your hips.
“Look at you,” he groans, voice rough. “I can feel your cunt clench around me when they kiss. Dirty girl… does that turn you on?”
You nod desperately, a broken little sound escaping as he keeps fucking up into you. “I knew it. My dirty girl likes to watch, huh?” Riki rasps, fucking you stupid.
Jungwon’s already kneeling next to you, close enough that his breath hits your skin. He leans in and mouths at your neck, sucking soft marks while his hand works his own length in tight strokes—desperate for the release he’s been holding onto all night. His free hand finds your breast, thumb brushing over the nipple before he ducks lower and takes it into his mouth, sucking hard. His moans vibrate around your peaks, and your little sounds of pleasure only seem to pump him meaner, to the point where his teeth graze them now.
Riki’s thrusts turn sharper, angling just right, and the pressure builds too fast. You can’t even think, saliva gulped down in a mewl as he fills you over and over again. You moan his name over and over, gripping his arms, “Please, fuck.. Im so close, please.”
Your begging only entice him more, his hips n snap up until he’s grazing your cervix. Air’s gone thick with the stink of want, everyone caught up in some sort of trance.
Out of the blue, you find yourself coming for the second time that night with a shaky cry, walls fluttering and squeezing around him. The way you sound is enough to tip Jungwon over the edge as he spills hot across your thigh with a muffled groan against your tit, still sucking like he can’t let go.
You feel Riki empty inside the condom, gripping your ass and muttering your name again and again, mouth hanging open. He’s undoubtedly having one of the best orgasms he’s ever had, if he’s not counting the delicious one in the phone booth, that is.
Across the couch Heeseung and Jake follow almost at the same time, making each other come in a mess of wet kisses and shaky hands, both of them panting into each other’s mouths as they paint each other’s stomachs and fists.
Your legs give out, unable to catch up. You slump forward onto Riki’s chest, still so full of him, forehead mashed to his collarbone while he wraps both arms around you and holds you there. It’s almost tender if it wasn’t for the stench of sex and the loud panting of men.
“You did so good,” Riki murmurs into your hair, one hand stroking slow up and down your spine. “So fucking good for us.”
Everyone’s quiet for a minute, just catching their breath and their minds as well. Then there are gentle hands everywhere.
Jungwon wipes the mess off your thigh with careful fingers before pressing soft kisses along the same path. Sunghoon brings a warm cloth and cleans between your legs while Riki is still inside you, murmuring quiet praise the whole time. Heeseung and Jake lean in from either side, kissing your shoulders, your neck, the corners of your mouth, whispering how pretty you looked, how perfect you felt.
They take turns kissing your body like they’re worshipping every inch. It’s safe to say your body is sore, but your body could use more. That’s why even after witnessed them cleaning you up, you lift yourself off of Riki’s lap and walk over to Sunghoon.
“More,” you simply say against his chest.
And heck if he indulges.
rüe’s a/n : okay i’m sorry if it’s messy, took me a while to finish this one so the endings a bit rushed. reblogs and feedback is appreciated! 💗if the plots all over the place it’s cause it’s a smut originally so i didn’t really think about the plot that much. taglist: @waeclr @whymsikl
which one of them do you think y/n should go out with? unbiased😭
*˓͏͏ ✤ 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐕𝐎𝐖𝐒 ⎯⎯ 𝐖𝐂 : 𝟖.𝟓𝐊 ꒰ oral (fem received), p in v, creampie, multiple orgasms, semi-public, risk of being caught, dirty talk/praises, light spanking, possessive behavior, dom! jungwon, quickie, engaged couple ꒱
The constant murmur of the water fountains set the rhythm of a morning that seemed to have begun far too early for you. Between the endless list of dresses tried on, your mother’s insistence on every seam, and the enthusiastic comments from Jungwon’s mother as they walked through the city’s most exclusive boutiques, you had barely had a second to take in the day. The staff of the Yang residence followed them at a discreet distance, elegantly carrying the parade of bags that testified to the efficiency and excess of the outing, before crossing the glass doors that opened onto the vast rear garden of the property.
Upon stepping outside, the warmth of the afternoon was softened by the impeccable shade of the main porch. The table, dressed in linen and porcelain beneath the pergola, already gathered the three men of the family, who interrupted their conversation the moment the soft clink of the china announced the arrival of the women.
Jungwon did not wait for the servants to step forward. His gaze found you instantly among the group, cut with that natural elegance he had commanded since childhood, dressed in the measured comfort of high society. He rose with a fluid motion and pulled out the chair beside his own, extending a hand toward you in an open invitation to take the place reserved at his side.
“At least I can rest easy knowing my daughter is in the hands of a true gentleman, someone who will know how to take care of her as she deserves,” your father commented, directing a satisfied smile at Mr. Yang as he observed the scene from the opposite end of the table.
Jungwon did not lose his composure for even a fraction of a second. He kept his attention firmly on you, yet answered toward Mr. Kwon with that nuance of respectful charisma he handled to perfection, charming the elders without ever sounding arrogant.
“Of that you need not have the slightest doubt. I will make certain to treat your daughter as the exceptional woman she is, today and always,” he assured them in a serene voice with a thoroughly mature inflection.
While he spoke those words with impeccable social sobriety, you began settling into the chair. Then he leaned in to adjust it with soft precision, and without rushing, took the cloth napkin, unfolded it, and placed it carefully over your lap. His fingers brushed the fabric of your dress before he took your hand with delicacy, raising it to the height of his face to press a firm, lingering kiss upon your knuckles.
“I missed you all morning,” he whispered very close to your ear, in a tone so low and rough that the rest of the table could barely perceive the movement of his lips.
An instant warmth rose up your neck to your cheeks, forcing you to offer a discreet smile. Though Jungwon’s constant attention had never been foreign to you—since the complicity you shared had been taking shape long before their surnames signed an official engagement, the transition to being betrothed had given a different weight to every interaction. You knew well that this attentive, gentlemanly facade that dazzled both sets of parents was nothing more than the deceptive cover of a book whose more intense, and frankly less proper, chapters were read only by the two of you when no intrusive gazes were present.
In any case, lunch unfolded pleasantly, amid the subtle clink of cutlery against porcelain and a fluid conversation, punctuated by the complacent laughter of both families. Preparations for the engagement occupied the center of the table, until your mother brought up the evening’s gathering: a prenuptial reception that the Yang family would host at the residence to officially present the union before their closest circle. Mr. Yang was quick to nod with satisfaction, underscoring the importance of formally introducing the two of you to strategic partners and investors whose influence, sooner or later, would be at the disposal of both of you as future heirs.
“Do you have your suit ready for tonight? I don’t want to see you rushing at the last minute, Yang Jungwon,” his mother interjected, turning an inquisitive look toward him.
Jungwon finished savoring a final cut of his juicy steak, chewed with deliberation, then set his utensils on the plate before answering with the impeccable composure that characterized him.
“I’ve been overseeing a couple of matters with Father and Mr. Kwon since this morning, so I forgot to stop by the tailor’s. But I’ll go pick it up in a moment, there won’t be any delay, I promise,” he admitted, offering his mother a reassuring smile, and then turned in your direction.
“I can go with you if you’d like,” you offered at once, seeking his gaze naturally. Jungwon watched you for a second, and a spark of mischief crossed his dark eyes before he gently shook his head.
“The idea tempts me, because nothing is better than your company, love. But I’d rather build anticipation,” he replied, keeping a tone steeped in affection as genuine as it was calculated. “I want to surprise you tonight, just as I know you’re going to leave me breathless when I see you in whatever you’ve chosen.”
Behind the courtesy of his words, the nuance in his voice transmitted a clear and implicit message: “It isn’t wise for us to be alone just yet.” You knew perfectly well what he meant; proximity without witnesses would only complicate the restraint both of you were trying to maintain, and which already hurt so much. You smiled with complicity and slid your hand across the table to brush against his.
“All right, I’ll wait. Though I can already imagine how handsome you’ll look, babe,” you accepted with simulated docility, and he curved his lips into a faint smile. A gesture of discreet approval.
Taking advantage of the fold of the tablecloth that hid the lower half of the table, he slid his other hand beneath it. Without any of those present suspecting a thing, his fingers pressed firmly against your thigh, ascending dangerously close to that place which family etiquette had forbidden him to desire before the marriage certificate was signed. The contrast between the coldness of protocol and the heat of his grip made you hold your breath for an instant. In the eyes of your parents and his, it was nothing more than a tender exchange between two young people in love and destined to be together.
Ah… if only someone knew…
But anyway. The afternoon dissolved into a whirlwind of impeccably coordinated activity. The residence staff came and went adjusting the floral arrangements, verifying the garden lighting, and polishing every corner of the mansion. In the room that had been assigned to you (yes, they had granted you an individual space, arranged under the strict premise of avoiding “temptations” prior to the wedding), the styling team hired by your mother-in-law put the final touches on your hair and makeup.
When at last you were alone, you studied yourself in the mirror. The pearl-white satin dress fell with exquisite fluidity over your figure, secured at the neck and leaving exposed a pronounced back neckline that supplied the exact dose of elegance and sensuality. It was not a revealing design, yet you were absolutely certain it would steal every gaze… and, above all, shatter Jungwon’s self-control. You finished the look by fastening your heels and applying to your wrists and neck a few drops of the perfume he had given you the night they became engaged.
With the scent still fresh on your skin, you stepped into the hallway and walked directly toward your fiancé’s room.
Inside the chamber, the silence was broken only by the soft tick of the watch Jungwon was finishing adjusting on his left wrist. In front of the full-length mirror, his figure was far from the polish he displayed before the adults: the white shirt remained unbuttoned, leaving visible the firm, defined contour of his chest and abdomen; the black silk tie hung untied over his shoulders, and the dark slacks rested unfastened at the hips, hinting at the elastic of his boxers and the descending line of his member beneath the fabric.
A couple of soft knocks on the wood broke his concentration.
“Come in, it’s open,” he indicated without fully turning, assuming it was one of the household attendants. Yet when your figure reflected in the glass, the air caught abruptly in his throat. He went completely still.
The sight of you crossing the threshold, wrapped in the pearly fall of satin that molded your waist and exposed the clean curve of your shoulders, erased at once any executive or familial thought he might have had. You looked simply divine, like a vision conceived solely to disarm him.
And as if that were not enough, he noticed at once the faint blush that tinged your cheeks upon finding him half-dressed, and that reaction of yours was the final trigger. Forgetting the tie, the watch, and any trace of the prudence he had so firmly preached during lunch, he turned completely and closed the distance between you with firm, inevitable steps.
“My God…” he murmured in a husky voice, stopping mere centimeters from you while his eyes traveled over every detail of your face before descending along the neckline of the dress as you turned to show him every detail. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look? Are you aware that you’re going to drive me insane before the night even begins?”
A soft laugh rose from your throat, a low and melodious sound that resonated in the intimacy of the room with open coquetry, without the slightest trace of regret.
“Oh, believe me, I know perfectly well. I’m not unaware of my own actions and decisions,” you answered with a challenging nuance in your voice, finishing the turn. Then you closed the remaining gap until you stood a breath from his chest.
Your gaze descended without any modesty, traveling slowly over the anatomy you knew by heart: the toned firmness of his torso, the subtle relief of his pectorals, and the defined line of his abdomen that dipped toward his hips, partially hidden by the edge of his underwear and the unbuttoned waistband of his trousers. Nor did you overlook the evident reaction of his body; the accumulated tension beneath the fabric of his pants traced a firm silhouette that left nothing to the imagination.
Jungwon followed the direction of your eyes, and a dark smile, steeped in self-satisfaction, curved his lips.
“If you keep devouring me with your eyes like that, I swear I’m going to forget there’s a hall full of people waiting downstairs for us to pose as the saintly couple everyone thinks we are,” he warned in a voice rough with need. Yet his actions immediately contradicted the sense of his words.
His hand circled your waist with possessive firmness and pulled you against him without ceremony, pressing your body to his so that you could feel with total clarity the devastating effect your mere presence had on him. He slid his other hand to your back, cupping his palm over the bare skin exposed by the dress’s neckline. The smoothness beneath his fingers ignited a violent impulse in his mind: the almost uncontrollable temptation to turn you, pin you against the mattress, and strip away the dress until you were naked and entirely at his mercy, collecting with interest everything he had spent hours imagining doing to you.
The atmosphere between the two of you grew so dense that the air seemed to weigh in the lungs, an electric tension that increased with every shared breath.
“I can’t help it, my love. Truly… I can’t help looking at you and wanting you this way,” you murmured almost against his lips, letting your warm breath brush him, while you brought your left hand to the nape of his neck. That was the drop that overflowed the glass.
Jungwon eliminated any remaining space and tilted his face to capture your mouth in a kiss that bore not the slightest relation to the chaste, reserved propriety both of you displayed before the public eye. It was a hungry, wet, and hot encounter, where tongues sought each other with fierce urgency, fed by the restrained longing of the day and the frustrating weight of family restrictions.
Still wrapped in the frantic rhythm of the kiss, Jungwon took your right hand and guided it firmly downward, pressing your palm directly over the rigid prominence marked in his boxers so that you would feel the magnitude of his hardness. Immediately afterward, his own hand descended to the curve of your backside, molding your cheeks over the dress with a possessive squeeze that lifted you slightly against his hip while his lips left yours to descend blindly, scattering burning kisses and sucking at the sensitive skin of your neck.
A broken moan escaped your lips, murmuring Jungwon’s name in a visceral reaction to the searing brush of his mouth and the firm contact of his hands on your body. He interrupted the path along your neck to ascend the line of your jaw, depositing short, heat-laden kisses before stopping millimeters from your mouth.
“You’re not helping me at all to maintain the posture of a gentleman and respectful fiancé…” he murmured in a rough voice, his agitated breathing striking your skin. “You really shouldn’t have come in like this, sweetheart.”
You answered him with a smile as sensual as it was defiant. Far from stopping, you continued rubbing your open palm over the bulge in his boxers, exerting measured pressure on the rigid silhouette of his cock, which molded itself to your hand, savoring the almost direct stimulation you were giving him. A soft gasp escaped him at your boldness.
Without breaking the fluidity of the moment, he turned you firmly, leaving you with your back to his torso. He inclined his face to place a trail of deep kisses on the exposed skin of your spine, while both his hands advanced forward to knead your breasts over the satin. Instantly he noticed the absence of a bra when the fine fabric could not hide the way your nipples hardened under his touch. With an instinctive movement, he pressed his hips against your ass, rubbing rhythmically against you so that you would feel the weight and hardness of his member with greater insistence.
The acceleration of their breathing marked a point of no return. You knew that a few more seconds in that position would ruin any possibility of maintaining composure. So, from one second to the next, you gently freed yourself from his hold, turned around, and put a couple of steps between you, bringing your fingers to your lips to slow the pace of the scene.
“We have to calm down now, Wonie,” you sighed, trying to regulate your own breathing. “If we keep going at this rate, the last thing we’ll do is go down to the reception. Besides… at any moment someone could come looking for us.”
Jungwon let out a low growl of frustration, but conceded the point reluctantly. He ran a hand over his face and proceeded to adjust his underwear and zip up his trousers, making a conscious effort to ignore the painful erection that still gripped his groin. He tucked the tails of his shirt into the waistband, buttoned the garment with a certain haste, and fastened the leather belt over his waist.
While he dressed, you took the opportunity to smooth the invisible wrinkles from your dress and carefully check your reflection in the mirror, making certain the lipstick had not smudged after the whirlwind of kisses. Once your appearance was verified, you approached him. Without a word, you stretched out your hands to adjust the collar of his shirt and took the ends of the silk tie to tie the knot with skill. Jungwon did not waste the closeness; he circled your waist with one arm, holding you pressed to his body while he watched the concentrated movement of your fingers.
A couple of dry knocks on the wood interrupted the silence, and immediately the door opened. Jungwon’s mother crossed the threshold, stopping when she saw the image of the two of you in the center of the room. Something that, at first glance and without prior context, appeared entirely innocent.
“But what a marvel… You both look impeccable. Definitely, my dear son, you already have an exceptional wife at your side,” she commented with a moved smile, clasping her hands.
Jungwon did not look away from your eyes for even a second. He kept his arm firm around your waist and offered his mother a measured reply, steeped in a double meaning that only you could decipher.
“I agree, Mother. I am an extremely fortunate man,” he answered with charisma, though the curve of his lips and the inquisitive gleam in his gaze carried an openly suggestive nuance.
Mrs. Yang advanced a couple more steps into the room and took you delicately by the arm, inviting you to separate from him. “Well, dear, since you’re already ready, it would be ideal if you come downstairs with me so I can introduce you to some of the family’s partners and friends who are arriving.”
You glanced sideways at Jungwon and then at your mother-in-law, searching for a diplomatic excuse to gain more time at his side. “Actually… I would like to go down with Jungwon; I would feel much more comfortable. Besides, I was only helping him finish adjusting his suit,” you explained in a sweet tone, offering your best smile and praying she would swallow the excuse.
Nevertheless, Mrs. Yang clicked her tongue lightly and shook her head in a dismissive yet affectionate gesture.
“He can finish on his own, dear. He’s not a little boy. Come, let’s not keep the guests waiting.” Without giving room for further objections or excuses, she guided you toward the hallway, leaving Jungwon alone in the middle of the spacious room.
Silence settled once more in the place. Jungwon remained motionless, watching the open door through which you had left, before shifting his gaze to the full-length mirror. The prominent and evident bulge beneath his trousers was still exactly there, intact and unrelenting. He let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair to clear the frustration.
Definitely, that was something he would have to take care of by his own means before daring to go downstairs.
On the other hand…
The ground floor of the enormous Yang property had been transformed into the epicenter of a majestic event, packed with guests distributed almost everywhere. Circular tables with elegantly upholstered chairs filled the indoor space, all wrapped in an impeccable décor that fused good taste with the ostentation characteristic of their class. Consequently, the glass doors leading to the rear garden remained wide open, revealing how the exterior housed even more groups of attendees and floral arrangements that decorated the evening under the light of the garlands.
It was precisely in that outdoor area that Mrs. Yang decided to take you as if you were her most prized trophy, dragging you from one group to another and introducing you to an endless list of people. From distant relatives you had never seen in your life, through influential business partners of her husband, to old friends from high society.
At some point during that social parade, the pain in your feet began to become unbearable because of the heels. On the verge of exhaustion, you discreetly turned toward where your parents were standing, casting them a silent and urgent look that pleaded for help. However, they merely returned rehearsed expressions of encouragement and support, urging you with subtle gestures to keep smiling and interacting as protocol dictated. Sighing imperceptibly, you rolled your eyes the moment they turned their backs and, with all the diplomacy you could muster, briefly excused yourself from your mother-in-law and her circle of friends to take a breath.
Intending to rest, you headed toward the main table that had been designated exclusively for Jungwon and you. Yet the moment you took your seat and unfolded a decorative fan resting on the tablecloth to cool your face, the figure of your fiancé finally appeared among the crowd. In that same instant, his father’s voice resonated through the space, calling you to join Jungwon once more at the center of the scene and proceed with the long-awaited official presentation before everyone present.
Fulfilling the expectations of his lineage, Jungwon delivered a brief yet masterfully rehearsed introductory speech. He spoke with the ease and composure of someone who had spent his entire life preparing to lead, presenting himself as the legitimate heir of the Yang family and assuring, with magnetic charisma, that he would be as relentless and competent in the world of business as he would be in his romantic commitment.
Immediately afterward, he yielded the floor to you with an elegant gesture; your intervention was far more concise, presenting yourself with firmness and grace as the heir of the Kwon family, limiting your words to what was strictly necessary without losing a single ounce of sophistication.
Once the formality concluded, the two of you were finally able to return to your table. Before enjoying the seats, you first had to deal with the insistence of a professional photographer who kept demanding various shots and angles to immortalize the event, and afterward with the constant procession of guests who approached to congratulate you and exchange a few words. Tolerating the bustle surrounding you was genuinely exhausting, though at least the dinner was exquisite and you enjoyed the privilege of being the sole occupants of your table. Thanks to that, Jungwon took advantage of the intimacy of the tablecloth to rest one of his hands on your thigh, offering you silent support throughout the evening.
“Why did you take so long to come downstairs?” you reproached him in a low voice, leaning slightly toward him while maintaining a smile for the rest of the room. “If you’d delayed five more minutes, I swear your mother would have forced me to shake hands with the president himself, if he’s around here somewhere.”
An authentic, low, and raspy laugh escaped Jungwon’s lips at your complaint. He found it frankly amusing to hear you exaggerate the situation, though deep down he knew you weren’t far from the truth, considering how extremely sociable and calculating his mother could become at events of this kind.
“I’m truly sorry for the delay, baby,” he replied, drawing close enough for his breath to caress your ear. “Believe me, I wanted to be down here right away. However, I found myself obliged to take a good moment alone to solve the ‘little problem’ you caused and left unresolved inside my pants.”
The surprise disarmed you for an instant, your eyes widening at his boldness before a stifled giggle escaped you. “You’re a complete pervert, Wonie~” you whispered, shaking your head, still smiling in amusement.
“I’m the pervert?” he countered immediately, arching an eyebrow with malice. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the one who walked into my room and didn’t show a single drop of shame while looking me over, much less when you touched my cock while we were kissing. You were devouring me, and now here you are, sitting so properly, pretending to be a chaste and decent lady…
He made a tactical pause, sliding his fingers a little higher up your leg before delivering the final blow.
“When in reality, you’re the same girl who just a couple of nights ago was moaning my name at the top of your lungs, begging me to give it to you harder while I buried myself to the hilt and pulled your hair. Not to mention how afterward you were riding me as if your life depended on it.”
The impact of his words, summoning such raw and heated images in the middle of a reception like this, flushed your cheeks scarlet in a second. Because inevitably, the familiar sensations awakened in your body, and the blood rushed through you. To make matters worse, your panties were already a mess beneath the dress, soaked since the moment you had been in his room, and only growing unbearably sticky against your most intimate place.
Completely flushed, you reacted by giving him a discreet but firm little smack on the arm in an attempt to silence him. The sudden movement did not go unnoticed, immediately capturing the attention of some nearby guests who, far from suspecting the explicit nature of the conversation, merely interpreted the touch as a charming and complicit gesture, typical of two young fiancés hopelessly in love.
As the evening progressed, glasses of champagne continued circulating amid refined conversations and a brief moment on the dance floor where the two of you shared a measured dance. However, the constant proximity and the restriction imposed by the watchful gazes of those present only fueled a voracious hunger, making restraint a practically impossible task.
Seizing a moment of collective distraction, Jungwon slipped through the crowd with the ease of someone who knew every corner of his home, staying clear of fixed stares. Moments later, he locked eyes with you and gave you a subtle gesture, a silent cue only you were equipped to interpret. Without thinking twice, you stood and made your way among the guests, sweetly excusing yourself with the pretext of heading to the powder room to retouch your makeup.
Following the invisible trail he had marked for you, you entered one of the mansion’s secondary hallways. Jungwon emerged from the shadow of a column and, with a firm nod of his head, indicated a door concealed in the wall paneling, an access clearly not intended for ordinary visitor traffic. You crossed the threshold and immediately faced him with curiosity.
“What is this place?” you asked in a whisper, observing the narrow, sober corridor.
“A private passageway,” Jungwon answered, offering a calm smile as he took your hand firmly to guide you through the dimness. “It connects the ground floor directly to the upper wing.”
You climbed a series of hidden stairs with agility until you reached another small door at the end of the stretch. When he pushed it open and stepped forward, the surprise left you momentarily speechless: you had just emerged, nothing more and nothing less, into the very same individual room your mother-in-law had assigned you for the stay.
“I never would have imagined this room had an access like this…” you admitted, looking around with disbelief. Jungwon closed the hidden panel behind him and gave you a sly smile, charged with charming self-assurance.
“It was my ace up the sleeve, my love,” he confessed, closing the distance toward you. “I planned to sneak in through here later, once the party was over and my parents were deeply asleep. That way we could make love all night long without worrying about anyone’s restrictions or schedules.”
He turned for a second to head toward the main entrance of the bedroom, sliding the bronze latch with a dry, definitive click that sealed the isolation of the place.
“But… I’m afraid I find myself in absolute need of advancing the plan. Because frankly, I can’t stand even one more second,” he continued, turning back to you with eyes darkened by desire.
Before you could articulate a response or attempt a joke, Jungwon took you by the waist and pulled you abruptly against his torso, capturing your lips in a kiss infinitely more hungry and voracious than the previous one. The impact of their bodies made the urgency contained for hours detonate without remedy.
Your hands, already restless and desperate to feel the heat of his skin, immediately sought the buttons of his shirt to undo them in haste, while his hands rose to the nape of your neck to skillfully undo the fastening that held the dress at your throat.
The satin tie gave way and the upper part of the dress fell, leaving the bare skin of your chest at the mercy of Jungwon’s hands. He did not waste a second in kneading your breasts with hungry urgency, squeezing them, brushing the nipples with his fingertips until they hardened against his palm. The contact tore a muffled sigh from you that was lost against his neck when you tilted your head to bury your lips in his skin, scattering hot, wet kisses over his accelerated pulse. Your fingers finished freeing the last buttons of his shirt, pushing it downward to strip his torso completely bare.
He interrupted the contact with your breasts only long enough to shed the shirt and toss it aside. Without the barrier of fabric, he wrapped both arms around your back and pressed you firmly against his naked torso. You felt the direct heat of his skin, the firmness of his muscles tensed by excitement and, lower down, the evident hardness of his erection brushing you through the cloth. You circled his neck with your arms, continuing the trail of kisses along his jaw and neck, while his hands descended over your figure. He guided the fabric of the dress over your hips with deliberate slowness, caressing the curve of your ass as he went, until the garment finally fell to your feet, leaving you only in a pair of white lace panties.
Without breaking the current of electricity that enveloped them, he gripped your backside firmly, squeezing the flesh between his fingers, and lifted you into the air to carry you straight to the wide bed. He laid you on the mattress and positioned himself over you, touching your face with unhurried caresses while his kisses descended again toward your mouth, deeper, more demanding, his tongue brushing yours with promise.
“We have to be quick, love. It won’t be long before they notice neither of us is in the hall and start looking for us,” he murmured against your lips, his breathing ragged yet maintaining that intense, possessive gaze. Until he made a brief pause, leaning in to delicately bite the lobe of your ear before whispering into it, his voice hoarse with desire : “That said… I guarantee I’ll fuck you again later, when we no longer have commitments to fulfill or authority figures prowling the house. I won’t have to hold back then. Though I don’t plan on holding back right now either.”
A playful smile curved your lips at his warning.
“At least the promise of a second round leaves me more at ease. One is never enough,” you answered with sarcasm, running your hands over his abdomen without any modesty. And taking advantage of that closeness, you descended toward the waistband of his slacks, unbuckling the leather belt and freeing the main button.
You lowered the zipper with deliberate slowness, feeling the heat and hardness of his cock through the fabric, before beginning to slide his trousers down his hips. Yang, noticing the haste with which you were trying to undress him, let out a low chuckle and gently caught your wrists to move your hands aside.
“Don’t get desperate, beautiful lady~” he teased, winking at you with malice, though the tension in his jaw betrayed how much it cost him to restrain himself.
You gave him a playful little smack on the chest in response, rolling your eyes with amused indignation. “You’re the one who just told me we had to hurry, idiot,” you retorted, consternated, and poked him in the side with your finger.
Jungwon released a low laugh and rose so he could quickly remove his shoes. And just like that, without wasting more time, he pulled off his trousers and boxers in a single motion, discarding the last garment. He stood completely naked before your eyes: the imposing figure, the defined muscles, and his thick, hard cock, erect against his flat stomach, reaffirming without reserve the desire he felt for you. Once free of restraints, he positioned himself again on the bed, looming over your body, the tip of his member brushing the fabric of your underwear while his eyes traveled over every centimeter of you, ready to take what was his.
From one second to the next, he leaned over the mattress, shifting his body downward until he settled firmly between your open legs. With a precise movement, he hooked a finger in the edge of your lace panties and shifted them aside, exposing your wet, glistening pussy, shiny with arousal. The cool air brushed your most sensitive skin for an instant before the heat of his gaze replaced it. He let out a low growl, a mixture of possessiveness and pure delight at contemplating how your swollen, slick folds betrayed how much you wanted him and how ready you were.
Without hesitating a second, he pressed his lips against your mound in a burning, open-mouthed kiss. Immediately afterward, he unfurled his tongue to trace a warm, firm, slow stripe from your entrance to your clit, carefully parting your folds. The taste of your arousal coated his tongue as he enclosed that small bundle of nerves between his lips and sucked it with skill, dragging his tongue in precise circles. The direct stimulation made your body react instantly; you moaned his name aloud, your back arching, and you tangled your fingers in his hair, instinctively lifting your hips off the mattress in search of more friction, more pressure, more of that hot tongue that was covering you entirely.
However, Jungwon interrupted the oral torture and rose onto his knees. The sheen of your wetness still glistened on his lips. He took his erect member in one hand, pumping it just a couple of times; the thick vein pulsed under his fingers and the tip already shone with a thread of precum. He used the hot, slick head to give you a couple of playful taps against your clit, rubbing it up and down, before aligning himself at your entrance. Without too many contemplations or detours, he thrust his hips forward and sank into you completely in a single deep stroke. You felt how he opened you, how every centimeter of his thick, hard cock slid pushing against your wet walls until he was fully buried, the bone of his pelvis colliding against yours.
A coordinated gasp escaped both of you. The heat of his body filling you, the intense stretch, the pulse of his length inside you. Without wasting time, he gripped your legs and raised them until they rested on his broad shoulders, achieving an angle that allowed him to penetrate you even deeper. He began thrusting without the slightest hint of gentleness; driven by need and the explicit intention of making you lose control, he drove into your body with force and constant rhythm. Every thrust was deep, wet; the obscene sound of skin against skin and of his cock entering and leaving your soaked pussy filled the room. He sought to make you completely drop the composed young-lady façade you had worn all afternoon. The intensity of his movements made your breasts bounce with every thrust, the hardened nipples trembling, a sight that finished clouding his judgment.
Even with your legs up, you moved your hands and lowered them into the gap between your thighs until you reached his defined abdomen and pelvis, caressing the tense, hot skin that collided against yours, feeling how the muscles contracted with every thrust. Jungwon lowered his gaze to your fingers and a malicious, fascinated smile curved his face.
“It’s obvious you can’t keep your hands off me, is it?” he teased in a ragged voice, without slowing the strokes in the slightest. Every thrust pushed you a little farther into the mattress, the head of his cock brushing that sensitive spot inside you that made you tremble.
He noticed at once how your eyes drifted, fascinated, toward your feet resting on his shoulders and then descended over the relief of his torso, admiring the way his pectorals defined themselves more sharply from that angle, the skin glistening with sweat, the muscles tensing.
“And apparently… Neither can your eyes. You’re a complete pervert, my love, admit it,” he added with smugness.
“Shut up… you… you’re no better than I am. You were the one who corrupted me,” you managed to articulate between broken moans, deliberately tightening your walls around him, feeling how he pulsed harder inside you.
Your beloved fiancé let out a low, raspy laugh, throwing his head back for a second before delivering a particularly hard and deep thrust that tore a sharp moan from you. He filled you completely, the impact making your clit rub against the base of his cock, forcing you to dig your nails into his abdomen in an attempt to anchor yourself to the pleasure that washed through you in waves.
In response to your grip, he firmly took both of your wrists and guided your hands upward, pressing your palms directly against the hot, sweaty skin of his chest. You felt the accelerated heartbeat under your fingers, the hard muscles against your hands.
“In that case… touch whatever you want, gorgeous,” he ordered in a demanding tone, locking his dark eyes on yours while maintaining the relentless rhythm of his hips. Every thrust was deeper, wetter, the sound of your bodies joining growing more and more obscene. “Put your hands wherever you please, because for this I’m yours… I’m your man and very soon your husband.”
He leaned his torso closer to your ear, letting his breath scorch against your neck while he continued fucking you hard, the weight of his body pressing you into the mattress, his cock striking that precise point over and over.
“Get used to it, Mrs. Yang, because this is exactly how I’m going to have you almost every day once we move in together. Just you and me. I plan to take you on every damn surface of the house we’re going to share.”
Following his words, he tilted his face to place kisses on each of your ankles before sliding his hands along the inner sides of your legs, his fingers advancing over the sensitive, trembling skin. He spread your thighs firmly, securing his grip as he rose onto the bed, his dark gaze fixed between your legs.
“Come for me, my love,” he demanded in a rough, raspy voice dominated by desire. “I can feel how tight and hot you are, how you squeeze me every time I push in… I know perfectly well how close you are to falling apart.”
In an instant, he sat back on his heels and shifted your legs from his shoulders to the height of his forearms, opening you even wider to his gaze. With a firm tug, he lifted your hips above the mattress, leaving only your shoulder blades resting against the sheet. The change in angle made his thick, slick cock brush an exact, deep point inside you. The head pressed against that sensitive place with every millimeter, tearing a sharp moan of pure pleasure from your throat.
“Don’t stop… It feels so good like this, Wonie… I’m so close,” you pleaded with broken breathing, while at the same time holding your breasts in your hands, playing with them.
Responding to your plea, Jungwon brought one of his hands to the place where their bodies joined. He felt the soaked heat of your pussy, the lips that parted around his cock. With the pad of his thumb he began pressing and rubbing your swollen clit in a rapid, precise rhythm, sliding his finger in firm circles, determined to give you the orgasm first. His own ragged breathing and the tension in his thighs betrayed that he wouldn’t last much longer either; the base of his cock pulsed inside you, bathed in your fluids.
That double stimulation was the final trigger. You moaned his name at the top of your lungs as the climax hit you fully. Your interior contracted furiously around his cock, the walls squeezing him in rhythmic waves, milking him, sucking him. A warm rush of your arousal soaked the base of his cock and slid down your thighs. Your entire body began to tremble under Jungwon’s grip; your legs turned to jelly, the muscles shaking uncontrollably while the spasms of orgasm swept through you from head to toe.
Yet he was not willing to give you even a second of respite. He pulled out of you abruptly with an obscene sound, then stepped down from the bed, standing at the edge of the mattress. Taking you by the ankles, he pulled you forward until you were at the very limit of the bed, your ass almost hanging off. He immediately leaned over your face to capture your lips in a desperate, hungry kiss, plunging his tongue into your mouth to drink the sighs that still escaped your chest, the salty taste of your skin mixing with his.
“I’m not finished with you yet, Mrs. Yang,” he murmured, brushing your cheek as he pulled away, his voice hoarse.
Without waiting for a response, he took you by the waist and flipped you over on the bed with almost ridiculous ease, dominating your body entirely at his will. He let out a sigh of fascination at seeing how you obeyed, ending up with your ass raised, your back pronouncedly arched, and your hands held docilely against the small of your back. Your already-used pussy was completely exposed in that position, a thread of your fluids sliding down the inner side of your thigh.
Jungwon contemplated the scene for a couple of seconds, admiring the erotic vision you gifted him: the arch of your back, the residual tremor in your thighs, the glistening of your open, soaked pussy.
“You’re so beautiful…” he praised in a deep voice, before raising his hand and delivering a firm spank to your right cheek. The dry, fleshy sound echoed through the room; the impact left a burning pink mark on your skin, the flesh trembling under his palm. “You look so sexy like this for me.”
Without further delay, he aligned the head of his cock against your entrance. He pushed and sank into you again in a single deep stroke, opening you all at once once more. The wet, obscene sound of his cock driving fully into your soaked pussy filled the air: a fleshy, slick slap as his pelvis collided with your ass. You felt every vein, every centimeter of his thickness sliding through your still-sensitive and contracted walls, stretching you, filling you to the hilt. Holding you firmly by the hips, his fingers digging into your flesh, he resumed a hard, fast, relentless rhythm.
Every thrust was a deep blow, the sound of skin against skin and of his cock entering and leaving your soaked interior setting the pace. He was shamelessly chasing the point of no return, determined to reach his own orgasm inside you.
The constant overstimulation and the implacable rhythm of his thrusts dragged you, almost involuntarily, into coming apart again. Your entire body contracted in a second violent climax; the walls of your pussy clamped around him in tight, rhythmic waves, milking him, while a new warm rush of your arousal soaked his length. Jungwon received every spasm with a mixture of pride and absolute possessiveness, showering you with rough, explicit praise against your skin, murmuring how good you felt squeezing him, how perfect you were coming around him.
Right afterward, he finally found his own release. With one last brutal thrust, he buried himself in you to the hilt, the bone of his pelvis slamming against your ass, and held himself there. A deep, ecstatic growl left his lips as he threw his head back. You felt the first hot, thick spurt of his cum shoot into the deepest part of your interior, followed by another and another, filling you in pulses while his cock throbbed and contracted inside you. The heat of his release expanded, thick and abundant, mixing with your own fluids until you felt completely soaked and full of him.
Little by little, the intensity of their breathing began to ease. Jungwon let himself fall gently onto your back, embracing you around the waist while scattering warm, unhurried kisses along your spine, still trembling slightly from the residual of his orgasm.
“Are you okay, darling?” he asked in a voice still roughened by the effort, brushing his cheek against yours with genuine concern. “Tell me I wasn’t too rough… I know I got carried away, and considering how little time we’ve had since our intimate life started in secret, I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”
An exhausted yet deeply satisfied smile curved your face. You could still feel his hot, thick cum inside you, an intimate, viscous reminder of what you had just done.
“I’m perfect, you don’t have to worry,” you answered softly, turning your face a little to seek his lips and leave him a short kiss. “In fact, this was the best thing in the world. And if it’s like this now, I can already imagine everything we’ll do once we have no rush and no fear of being caught”
Jungwon smiled against your skin, pulling you a little tighter against his chest.
“I love you,” he murmured with a sincere sweetness that contrasted with the savagery of moments ago. “I promise you that later, when we’re alone, I’ll take all the time in the world to be better, go slower, and spoil you the way you truly deserve.”
“And I love you, Wonie. I really love you so much,” you whispered, feeling your heart melt a little more for him.
He began to slide out of you with infinite care. His cock, still semi-hard and glistening with the mixture of both of you, withdrew with a soft, wet sound; as it did, a thick thread of his cum immediately slipped from your entrance, warm and viscous, sliding down the inner side of your thigh. He was ready to curl up beside you even if only for a couple of minutes. However, reality did not take long to assert itself.
A few dry knocks suddenly resonated against the main door of the bedroom, making both of you tense instantly, freezing in place. The alarm was total when, from the other side of the hallway, a single call was heard.
“Daughter, are you in there?” asked the unmistakable voice of your mother, sounding clearly through the wood.
They stared at each other for a second of absolute panic, eyes wide. Neither of them made a single sound. When she received no immediate reply, your mother did not call again; instead, a metallic noise froze them completely. The doorknob began to turn and was rattled up and down, being forced from the outside in a silent but insistent attempt to enter the room.
Moving on pure survival instinct, both of you rose from the mattress in all haste. Jungwon gathered his scattered clothes from the floor in record time and, buttoning his shirt halfway and with his shoes in hand, cast you one last warning look before disappearing into the dimness of the secret passageway through which you had arrived.
For your part, you slipped back into the satin dress with agile, trembling hands. It was only then, while readjusting the straps at the neck to return them to their perfect place and finally answer.
“Yes, Mom, I’m here!” you exclaimed, raising your voice enough for her to hear, trying to make your tone sound as casual and calm as possible. “I’m coming out now, I had to use the bathroom in this room because the ones downstairs were all occupied, and I took the chance to do a quick touch-up as well.”
In front of the mirror, your hands worked with millimeter precision while you spoke. You reapplied lipstick to cover any trace of the hungry kisses, wiped with a tissue the small spots where sweat and makeup had mixed, and arranged a couple of rebellious strands that had come loose from your hairstyle. Every movement made you aware of the cum that continued to slowly slip inside you, a secret, obscene reminder of what you had just shared. Once you looked as impeccable as at the start of the night, you walked with forcibly steady steps and unlocked the latch.
When you opened the door, your mother looked you up and down. Fortunately, she seemed to suspect absolutely nothing of what had just occurred mere meters from her.
“Well, hurry up, sweetheart. We need you downstairs right away,” she urged, taking you by the arm with a certain impatience to pull you out of the room. “They’re about to make the final toast in your honor and, to top it all off, we can’t find Jungwon anywhere.”
You chose not to make any comment regarding your fiancé’s whereabouts. The residual heat between your legs and the thick wetness soaking your underwear were secrets only the two of you shared.
“Then let’s hurry, we shouldn’t keep the guests waiting,” you answered naturally, offering a rehearsed smile. You took your mother’s arm and accompanied her downstairs.
Upon reaching the ground floor and advancing toward the open glass doors that led to the garden, Jungwon’s figure emerged in an extremely timely manner from the hallway that connected to the passageway. He looked neat and perfectly put together, as if nothing had happened.
Feigning impeccable surprise upon locking eyes with him, you went straight to meet him. Under the pretext of an affectionate greeting and the relief of having found him, you approached to very discreetly adjust the collar of his shirt and align the knot of his tie. Jungwon caught the hint immediately; he circled your waist with a strategic embrace to disguise the closeness, pressing his forehead to yours.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, baby. I was starting to believe you’d abandoned me to my fate,” he murmured in a tone loud enough to convince those present, though the sly smile on his lips was only for you.
Your mother, seeing them reunited, hurried them with a gesture of her hands, indicating that they should go out into the garden once and for all.
They were escorted to their special table, where the glasses filled with champagne already awaited them. The final toast proceeded under the warm lighting of the night, with all the guests raising their glasses in blessing for the prosperity and success of the future marriage. Both of you acted with the naturalness and grace expected of you, thanking them with courteous bows.
Yet in the eyes of the guests, you were the perfect picture of high society: two graceful, well-bred heirs destined to be together. But while you raised your glasses and the applause resonated around you, a shared glance over the rim of the crystal and a faint smile held the only truth that mattered to you: the certainty that this engagement was not a cage, but the perfect excuse to belong completely to each other, tonight and for the rest of your lives.
synopsis: with your grade on the line, you swallow your pride and ask Jungwon, the one man you can’t stand, for help. but his teaching methods seem to be a bit…unethical.
wc: 3.5k
warnings: yang jungwon x fem!reader , one sided enemies , mean dom!won , humiliation , academic humiliation ( is this a thing ) , oral m!receiving , fingering , p in v , mocking , spit , hair pulling , creampie (don’t do it) , breeding kink , hate fucking (i think idk lowkey) , dumbification , crying , pet names (baby, good/stupid/dumb girl, slut) , cum eating , edging , not proof read
roses thoughts… i really wanted to get something out so here’s this filth LOL. i’m working on a longer, more personal fic as well. no idea when it’ll be out but make sure you keep an eye out ok… as always, asks and reblogs are always appreciated
playlist: feel good - clara la san // bad thing (bunny hop) - ariana grande // freak - doja cat //
Your foot taps on the marble flooring, leg practically vibrating with nerves.
“As a reminder, your final will be worth almost half your grade,” your teacher continues, pointing at the syllabus she’s displayed on the white board. You hadn’t paid much attention to it the first day of school, mostly because it was never something you had to worry about before.
School’s always been easy for you. One of the lucky ones, your mom would say. Your brain was almost like a sponge with how easily it soaked in new information.
But this class–yeah. It was no joke. And your grade was definitely seeing the results of that.
“To those of you with less than proficient grades at the moment,” your professor's eyes lock onto yours, which makes the anxiety stirring in your chest even worse. “I would heavily suggest finding a tutor.”
A tutor.
You’ve never needed a tutor before. You were the one doing the tutoring. Now you’ve become just like those students that used to come to you for help, and you’d be lying if you said your ego wasn’t taking a hit.
The big fat D you’d gotten on your last test flashes through your mind. Just one in a sea of bad grades, all that were pulling your grade into places you’ve only heard of.
You need to do well on this final if you want to pass the class, that much is obvious. But who the hell would you even ask? You don’t really know anyone here besides Riki, but he’s somehow doing even worse than you are, which is saying something.
Your eyes flicker around the room, darting from face to face in the hopes anyone will look promising.
And then your eyes land on him. Yang Jungwon. He’s sitting in the very back, glasses pushed up his nose and his cardigan bundled around him. To anyone who doesn’t know him, you’re sure he looks the picture of innocence. Just a studious guy who definitely doesn’t spend his time hanging around with his frat brothers and fucking anything that moves.
But you know Jungwon. You understand what subunit of men he falls under.
He’s a womanizer to the highest degree. And the worst kind at that, because he knows that women will fall at his feet without him even having to lift a finger.
You can’t stand guys like that. Men who think that they are entitled to sex simply because they’re attractive. It doesn’t help that most girls are too blind to look further into what type of man he is before they fall into his bed.
Or maybe you’re just thinking too much into it. Though you doubt that.
When class ends, you almost don’t walk over there. It’s too embarrassing, you think. To have to admit to anyone–especially Yang Jungwon–that you need help.
But then the failing grade you’ll surely get if you don’t has you swallowing your pride and forcing yourself to walk over to him.
He doesn’t notice you at first, too busy packing his laptop into his bag. You can actually look at him now that you’re so close and not halfway across the room.
Black hair. Deep, brown eyes. If he was anyone else, you might even think he was attractive. But the thought of falling into his honey-lined trap has you completely disregarding the idea.
You clear your throat, fingers messing idly with the hem of your sweater. “Hey.” You say, the word coming out as more of an awkward squeak then anything else.
He lifts his head to you, eyes looking over you lazily, like he was expecting this. Like he was expecting you. You know that’s probably just your insecurity speaking, but it still makes you feel hot with embarrassment.
He shoulders the strap of his bag. “What’s up?”
It takes everything in you to not turn tail and run. Just looking at him and imagining the smug look you’re sure will wash over his face makes you want to scream. You have half the mind to think he’ll assume you’re asking for help because you want in his pants, which is simply just not true.
You have never wanted anything more than to stay completely away from that STD-machine he calls his dick.
You sigh and run a hand through your hair, ignoring the tangles that catch along your fingers as you do. “You’re good at Anatomy, right?”
He just shrugs. “Depends.”
You raise a brow. “Depends on what?”
His lips raise slightly, threatening to break into a smirk. “On why you’re asking.”
Even though every single fiber of your body screams at you to find literally anyone else, you force yourself to say the words anyway. “I need a tutor,” you mumble.
Jungwon doesn’t look surprised in the least. He hums and takes a small step closer to you. “A tutor, huh?”
You take a step back. “That’s what I said, isn’t it?” You don’t mean for your tone to come out as hostile as it does, but it’s impossible to not feel irritated when it comes to Jungwon.
He huffs out a laugh. “Just making sure,” he says. “I never really took you as the type to need tutoring.”
I’m not, you want to say. Actually, I’d probably beat you out in every other class.
But you doubt offending him is going to make him want to help you. So, instead, you just sigh out, “yeah, well, I do. So are you going to help me or not?”
He pauses for a moment, like he really has to think about it, before he shrugs and gives you a small nod. “Sure, why not? I’ll tutor you.”
Your lips slip into a tight lipped smile. It’s the most polite thing you can really manage at the moment.
“Okay. Cool. Let’s meet at the library this weekend?”
Jungwon shakes his head. “Nah, come by my dorm. Better learning environment.”
You just roll your eyes. If he thinks the two of you will be doing anything except for studying, then he’s a lot dumber than he claims to be.
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In all honesty, you don’t really understand how you got here. On your knees in between Jungwon's thigh, while he fists a handful of your hair and forces his cock down your throat.
You’d been studying—at least, you think so. You aren’t sure if you can call him laughing at you everytime you messed up an answer studying.
“Come on, baby, open up for me.” He grunts, palm practically encasing your skull and pushing you further down onto his dick. Spit dribbles at the corner of your mouth, threatening to drip onto your chest.
You choke around his length, your nails digging into his thighs. He hasn’t let you up for air once–hasn’t even pretended he was going to give you some kind of reprieve. Instead, he’s laughed at you for it.
You flatten your tongue against the base, flicking the tip of the muscle against the vein running up his cock. He groans at the feeling, head tilting back before he forces himself to look down at you again. As if he doesn’t want to miss a second of this.
The feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat makes a fresh onslaught of tears cloud your already blurry vision, and Jungwon has the audacity to smirk at it.
He wraps your hair around his knuckles and forces you off his cock. You splutter for air as you come up, chest heaving and lips swollen. You can still taste his pre-cum on your tongue.
“You cryin’?” He asks, though he says it without any type of concern.
You feel your lower lip wobble with embarrassment. “I-I’m not–”
“No, you are.” He grins. “What? Is my cock too big for your tiny throat?”
Part of you wants to say yes—wants to scream at him for being too rough. Actually, you want to scream at yourself for getting into this situation.
But then you think about the smug look that will no doubt be on his face if you tell him exactly what he wants to hear. So, instead, you take in a breath and take him back into your mouth.
He gasps as you do, and you mentally give yourself a point. You might be the one with his cock down your throat, but you're also the one with most of the power. At least, for now.
You swirl your tongue around the tip, lapping up the precum that drizzles in steady streams. Jungwon doesn’t shy away from being loud, and the moans that pour from him encourages you to take him deeper.
This time, you remind yourself to relax your throat and breathe through your nose. And ever so slowly, you manage to take him all the way to the base. Your nose smushes against his pelvis bone, filling your senses with sweat and his expensive cologne.
“Fuck!” He practically yelps, little whimpers falling from his lips the longer you deepthroat him. “Good fucking girl,” he gasps, “all you’re good for, right? Sucking dick and, hah, nothing else?” He chuckles, but it’s shaky. “Can’t even pass a fucking final.”
The reminder makes something twist low in your chest. A mix of embarrassment and…arousal. The reminder is a low blow, you’re sure he knows that, but it doesn’t piss you off like you think it should. Instead, heat pools between your legs, and you have to rub your thighs together in the hopes you might get any kind of relief.
Jungwon sees it, because of course he does. “You like that? Being reminded of just how fucking dumb you really are?”
You attempt to deny, but the words come out muffled. It sounds more like you’re gargling then anything else.
“Can’t even speak properly, stupid, stupid girl.” He laughs.
But even though he’s trying to play it cool, you can feel the way his thighs are shaking. Can feel how his hips jerk up every-so-often, searching for even more friction. Greedy.
You hollow out your cheeks, and force yourself to take him even deeper. His tip has far surpassed the back of your throat, forcing you to gag around him.
He lets out a long, high-pitched sound that nearly sounds like a wail. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum–”
His hips jerk uncontrollably into your mouth, and then he’s spilling into you. Ropes of cum fill your throat. The taste is bitter and tangy, and your nose scrunches up at it.
You want to spit it out like you do with every other guy, but he forces you off of him, deep dark eyes looking into yours, and he says, “swallow.”
If someone were to ask you why later, you’d tell them you were under spells. That Yang Jungwon put a curse on you and that’s why you listened.
But you know the truth.
Your throat bobs as you swallow the milky substance, and he grins as he watches it go down. He brings a hand up to your chin, and then uses his thumb to part your lips. “Open.” He says. You listen.
You part your lips and let your tongue fall from your mouth, showing him that you’d done exactly as he said.
He makes a sound deep in his chest, something akin to a rumble, and then uses his thumb to press down on your tongue. When he’s satisfied with what he sees, he retracts his hand and runs it through your messy hair. “Good girl.”
You hate that the praise goes right to your core.
He stands then, grabbing you by your arms and forcing you to your feet. He spins you around so the back of your knees hit the mattress. “You wanted to study right?” He murmurs against your ear. His breath sends a shiver down your spine. “Then let’s study.”
He pushes you down onto the bed, and then immediately positions himself on top of you and crashes his mouth onto yours. The kis is messy, his tongue licking into your mouth and driblets of saliva falling from the corners of your lips.
He kisses you like a man starved. Like you’re the only girl in the world. He kisses you like he could never get enough of it.
Slowly, he trails his hand down your stomach, all the way to the hem of your sweatpants. He doesn’t even give you a moment to realize what he’s doing, too busy keeping you occupied with his mouth. It’s not until he’s cupping you through your panties do you realize.
You gasp against his lips, and he smirks. Like he was expecting that reaction from you.
“For every question you get right,” he starts, lips ghosting yours. “I’ll give you some relief. Okay?”
Your eyes fly open, eyebrows knitting together at the sheer audacity. This is how he’s choosing to tutor you? By holding your own pleasure over your head?
“Jungwon–”
He ignores you. “Where part of the female body has the highest concentration of concentrated nerves?” He asks.
You furrow your brows. You don’t remember ever learning about this. But the feeling of him against you, completely unmoving, is enough to have you pouring out answers.
“The, um, the breast?” You murmur.
Jungwon clicks his teeth. “You really are just a dumb slut, aren't you?” He laughs, emphasizing his words with a light pat to your pussy. You jolt at the sensation, a breathless, needy sound falling from your lips.
You swallow, cheeks growing hot from humiliation. “I don’t know, Jungwon. We–We never learned this!”
But he doesn’t care. “Use that brain of yours and think. Unless you can’t even do that.”
You swallow, thinking of every single spot in your body that might have a good amount of nerve endings. Your fingertips, maybe? Or the skin at the bottom of your feet? Or the–oh.
The clitoris.
“The clitoris.” You mumble, voice barely above a whisper.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
You let out a huff of frustration. “The clit.” You say louder.
Jungwon grins, teeth on display as he does. “Smart girl.”
And then his hand is pulling your panties to the side and he’s rubbing your clit with his thumb. The pressure is light, just a featherlight touch to show you he’s there, but it’s enough to have you squirming.
“What chemical is released in the brain during intercourse?” He brings a finger up to your entrance and his thumb furthers the pressure on your nub. The feeling is intoxicating to say the least, bordering on not enough.
But, you genuinely have no idea the answer to his question. “Um, d-dopamine?”
He forces a finger inside your hole, immediately curling it against that spongy spot inside you. You cry out at the feeling, hands searching for anything to grip on. One of them settles on the sheets, while the other settles on his bicep. He raises a brow. “Maybe you aren’t that stupid after all.”
The next agonizing ten minutes pass like that, with him asking you questions you couldn’t possibly know the answer to and withholding pleasure every time you get it wrong.
It’s absolutely infuriating and extremely arousing all at the same time.
It takes a second, but you eventually feel that familiar coil begin to tighten in your stomach. Your hips roll against his fingers, chasing any and all relief he’s willing to give you.
“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum—” You gasp.
But Jungwon doesn’t let you. He slips his fingers from your cunt, leaving you unbearably empty, and you nearly sob at the feeling.
“No, no, no,” you cry.
Jungwon laughs. He brings his fingers to his lips and sucks them clean, never breaking eye contact with you as he does.
“You think you deserve to cum?” He questions, leaning down licking up the stray tear that falls from your eye. His tongue trails from your cheek all the way to the corner of your eye. “Girls who can’t even pass a simple anatomy final don’t get to cum.” He mumbles against your skin.
You whine. You don’t even care about your pride anymore. All you can think about is the release that was ripped from you.
Jungwon pauses, lips quirking up slightly as he seems to get an idea. He leans in even closer, lips brushing your ear, and he says, “not unless they beg for it.”
You swallow. On any other day, you’d laugh in his face for even suggesting it. You begging Yang Jungwon to let you cum? Yeah, in his fucking dreams.
But now the idea isn’t that far-fetched.
You avert your gaze. “Please.” You murmur.
“Ah-ah,” he tsks, hand grabbing your chin and forcing your gaze back onto his. “Say it like you mean it.”
Your cheeks are burning with embarrassment. Your entire body trembling with want and with the urge to run away. But you swallow it down, because the want to have some kind of release overpowers any humiliation you might be stuck with afterwards.
“Please,” you say louder. “Please let me cum. Please, Wonnie, I need it so bad.”
He groans, eyes squeezing shut momentarily before he’s reaching down and aligning his cock with your folds.
He doesn’t give you any type of warning, just pushes the head of his cock into your hole and doesn’t even give you a chance to adjust as he pushes himself to the hilt.
You let out a drawn out whine, your legs trembling as you attempt to accommodate his length. He’s big—bigger than anything you’ve taken before— and you swear you feel him in your throat.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he mumbles, burying his face in your neck.
Slowly, he begins to roll his hips into yours, punching the air from your lungs everytime he rubs against your g-spot.
“W-Won—” You mumble, practically going cross-eyed. Your nails take down his back and leave long, red lines in their wake. Lines he’ll proudly wear and show off for the next week.
“Such a dumb baby,” he laughs. “Needing me to tutor you and ending up with my cock in you instead. Is this what you wanted? Wanted me to fill you up with my cum and make you a mommy?”
Your eyes widen at the idea. It should turn you off. You’re too young and you can’t stand Jungwon. Having a family with him would really be the end of you as you know it.
But, instead the idea of him filling you with his cum over and over again until it takes has you pulsing around him.
You shake your head, but it’s weak. Insincere.
“Yeahhhh, you do. Dirty fucking slut.” He brings a hand down your body until he finds your clit and begins rubbing circles into the nub.
You cry out, thighs shaking. Your orgasm builds quicker this time after he’d denied you the last time. This time, you don’t bother warning him, though you’re sure he can feel it.
“Gonna cum on my cock, baby?” He asks, tone filled with fake concern. “Go on then. You earned it.”
That’s all it takes before you’re breaking, your back arching and eyes rolling back from the force of it. Your blood practically goes cold and your vision goes white.
It’s intense, and Jungwon moans at the feeling of you pulsing around him.
“Shit—gonna fill you up, okay? Gonna fill up my dumb fucking girl.”
He cums with a small groan, his load shooting into you and painting your walls a ghastly white.
When it’s over, you lay there and let your mind wander as he catches his breath.
You, despite vowing not to, just let Jungwon fuck you. And even though you know you should, you don’t regret it in the least.
Yeah, you’re another notch on his ever growing belt. Yeah, next time you see him you’re going to want to die.
But…you’ve never had anyone fuck yoh that good before. Now you understand why so many girls beg him for seconds.
He lets out a shaky breath as he pulls out of you, his chest still heaving.
And then, without an ounce of shame, he says, “same time next week?”
𝑺𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ✶ when you’re scouted to work for hotline 1OO9–a sex phone line—you don’t have much of a choice, rent is due and you’re jobless. But without any background or skills, you’re slowly loosing control. Surely your nice colleagues can teach you their ways, right? ✶ minors do not interact ⸝⸝
☏ 1 - 9OO - 99O DIRTY TALK
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: enhypen x 𝒇. reader 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : porn with plot, smut, reverse harem. 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : phone sex operators (sex workers), gang bang (not all 7), two people sex, oral, handjob, cockwarming, dom/sub dynamics, switch reader, phone sex, lots of dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex, fxf (with a client, just talk), mxm (heejake) degradation, praising, exhibitionism, voyeurism, reader listens to Riki on the phone with a client, they all just horny as fuck, alcohol, clubbing, consent 𝐰𝐜 : ( 20𝑘 ) not proofread
“Ain’t no way. I thought we left sex hotlines in the 70s man.”
Is the first thing your friend says when you tell her you have a new job and you’re starting on monday. She leans closer, eyes a little too wide in your opinion and shakes her head like she’s just heard the dumbest thing ever. Which, granted is a sane reaction giving the bomb you just dropped on her, but if she knew the story behind it, she’d be even more shocked.
It all started a couple days ago in the subway. A bit Squid Game themed if you’re being honest, hence the weird feeling you’re still nursing. You were on the phone with your cousin, waiting for the next wagon to arrive and talking about the awful rent prices. Having just been fired from a corporate job for—and I quote—“not being smiley enough and using way too much sarcasm” (in your defense you only use it when someone’s being actively rude to you), you were left with unpaid debts and way too many bills. So you spent the entire commute shit talking the HR with your cousin, occasionally getting nasty looks from old people passing by.
At some point, the wagon started emptying and when your stop came, you were left alone in the station with a man in a suit. You didn’t pay him any mind, busy spewing nonsense about how the HR ‘had ugly eyebrows and a micropenis anyway’, but when you headed for the exit, you felt a hand on your shoulder.
You remember turning around and having to look up because of how tall the man was. He was carrying a leather briefcase like he was headed to work and when his hand dropped to his side again you clocked the expensive-looking watch on his wrist.
“Excuse me?” he said, all serious.
You looked at him up and down, tilting your head to the side so he could see the very obvious phone pressed to your ear—your way of saying ‘read the room’. But he didn’t in fact ‘read the room’, instead his hand dove in his suit pocket and he dug out a square-shaped piece of paper. It was some sort of business card, a yellow piece of paper with the words ‘Hotline 1OO9’ in the middle and a name on top. Park Jongseong. He held his hand out and adjusted his tie with the other one.
“Let me call you back hold on.” you told your cousin, scoffing before you hung up and put the phone in your back pocket. “Yes?”
The man gave a curt nod and spoke, “I don’t want to come across as weird or sound like a creep, but I’ve been listening to your voice on the subway and I was really interested by the rasp—”
“I’m tired, I wanna go home, so if this is a scam i’m really not in the mood and you can fuck off.” you cut him, sighing aggravated.
“It’s not. I run a freelance company, we work over the phone with clients and I really found your voice interesting, with all due respect. So I decided to just come talk to you, see if you were interested in the whole thing. I’m not really big on scouting people in the street because this is delicate but we’re a…sex hotline company. But you just sounded too good for me to walk away, I hope that’s not disrespectful.” the man explained, lips coming in a tight line.
You rolled your eyes, slightly offended that he thought this was a good idea and you grabbed your phone again, ready to leave, “I’m not interested, thank you.”
He must’ve felt the prejudice in your eyes when you heard the sex work part so he drew his hand back, giving you a little more space, “Its not a cam-girl company or anything. Our staff is mainly men and they only interact with clients on the phone. But i’ll leave you alone, have a good day.”
You nodded, lips drawn in a tight line and you reciprocated the farewell, turning around to head for the exit. But before you could walk up the stairs, the man spoke again.
“It pays well. You know, rent is getting awfully high these days… and my company takes this into consideration. How does 5O,OOO a year sound?”
The bastard.
Needless to say you took the business card, feigning indifference, and the second you got back home you turned on your computer.
You were jobless and on a very thin line money wise, so naturally you had to look into a it a little bit, or else you’d risk ending up in the streets because no company voluntarily seeks out a girl with a diploma so weak. A generic business diploma from a low-ranked private school wasn’t going to cut it, you knew it—so desperate times called for a little reddit deep dive.
The several Google searches didn’t give much detail, just a cryptic website with a phone number and a list of employee names with no picture whatsoever. But when you saw the date of creation of the company, you deduced that it was a very new one and so the website was new aswell.
It was weird really, that guy—you assumed his name was Park Jongseong— was fairly young, why would he go out of his way to create a sex phone line company in 2026? It was pretty much a dead practice, no one sought it out anymore and preferred watching porn or cam girls. What was the point of competing with only fans and trying to revive a dead business?
You typed the company name on reddit anyway, trying to see if this had any sort of Squid Game resemblance, if you were getting yourself into a dangerous survival game or something. But nothing much came up, just a 2 weeks old comment saying,
‘I’m surprised they still do these sex hotline things, I was interested and booked an appointment out of curiosity and as a 63 year old man, it brought so many 80s memories! The downside is that there’s only one woman worker there. But for the homosexual folks, the guys sound very hot ;)’
Well. At least it wasn’t a man-only company—in the optics of you reaching out to them. But only one woman worker sounded a little bit sketchy, not something you’d generally go for. You entered the redditor’s account and found he had fortunately posted something else about the hotline.
The calls are a bit expensive, i’ll give you that. But it’s really worth it, even if you’re not calling to jack off. My favorite one is Jake, you can tell he’s naturally submissive and not just acting. Refreshing to see submissive men in that industry!
You sighed when you found yourself in a dead-end. There was nothing else about that company, and for all you know this could be a staff member self promoting under a spam account, but for some reason it felt like you could give it a try. Not out of selflessness—the moral compass was dead—more out of desperation. It only accentuated the dilemma when you closed the tabs and found yourself starring at the dismissal notice your old employer had kindly left in your inbox.
You tilted your head and looked into the mirror across the room. You smiled at your reflection, wide, teeth and all, and cringed at the unnatural sight. When you tried again, you made it less dramatic and tried grinning with your eyes too.
Fuck them for saying you weren’t smiley enough. You could smile alright.
Your friend now looks back at you, leaning with her elbows on her thighs. “So you just took the job? Do you have a fucking survival instinct y/n?”
You shake your head, “I’d rather work a sketchy job than loose my independence and have to crash at my parents’ place.”
She raises both eyebrows, incredulous, “Well hello? I’m right here, I have a spare bedroom youu know you can always count on me, girl.”
“Did you hear the part about independence baby? You know i’m grateful though, right?” you say, playing with a hair band on your wrist. “It’s not the topic, like I know you’d take me in but I’d rather not loose my apartment at all, you know?”
She makes a small approving sound and leans back on the couch, “Yeah, nevermind. I just never pegged you for the type to work at a sex line, it’s really out of character. You’re always talking about pervy old creeps and stuff…”
You raise a finger, tilting your head like in the cartoons when they have a smart thing to say, “Well, guess what? They have a very specific way of working. You’re not allowed to fake it, if you’re uncomfortable and not into the call you can always say no. The caller will be reimbursed and that’s it. And also apparently the guys who work there are always listening and making sure their colleagues are not weirded out and stuff. All about consent and boundaries.”
Your friends snorts, “Damn, it’s a little crew of woke sex workers.”
You roll your eyes, throwing a pillow at her, “I don’t know it just gives me good vibes you know? After all there’s some very lonely people who want to talk you know? And if they wanna have a wank then be it, as long as they don’t ask me to like.. bark for them or something.”
“And what if they do? What happens then, huh?” she muses, tilting your chin towards you. “You’re not gonna just cancel every phone call, cause let me tell you something, there’s a lot of guys who like submissive women.”
“Well, I don’t know, I have boundaries you know? Submissive is…fine, I guess. As long as they don’t call me their slut I’ll be fine.” you shrug, snapping the band on your wrist.
She giggles, bouncing on her seat like a manic, “I definitely wanna see that. I can’t even imagine it, that shit’s gonna be so funny. You’re like the most dominant girl I know.”
Well, turns out capitalism is the one dominating you. You’re not really on top of the sex food chain anymore because the cost-of living-crisis is fucking you in the ass. A sandwich costs 12 dollars at the subway station near your new job, so you decide to go to work with an empty stomach because there’s no way you’re going to spend your last couple bucks on a chicken sandwich. You’ll eat at lunch anyway.
The company is fairly close to your apartment, only a couple subway stops away in a wealthy neighborhood. It’s surprising how nice the little building looks—although of course they only rent out one floor it seems like they get enough clients to be in this part of town.
You straighten your clothes and buzz at the door, your paperwork in hand. A couple seconds later, the door beeps open by itself and you’re step into a small corridor that leads to an elevator. The buttons all have a name for each company, and it turns out Hotline 1OO9 is on the 3rd floor, under a Japanese food brand. You press the button and fix your hair in the mirror, putting a small clip on the smallest hairs at the front of your face.
The second the elevator doors open you’re in a dimly lit hallway with the ugliest yellow walls ever. You look around, waiting for someone to receive you, but you quickly find a sign on the door that says, “Please do knock on the door, we don’t have a receptionist yet.”
You do just that, and a few seconds later you hear rapid footsteps and a man’s voice saying something inaudible. When the door opens, it’s a tall lanky guy that comes out, he’s wearing a suit but apparently slacks weren’t an option because he’s replaced them by oversized pajama pants with small cartoon imprints on them. He sees your eyes track down to his legs and cringes.
“Oh fuck—sorry. Hello, you’re y/n right? I’m sorry, we were doing photos for the website and I didn’t want to put slacks on, we didn’t get the aircon yet so it’s so hot inside.” he looks down at himself, embarassed. “Come in come in, i’ll call the boss.”
The first thing you think is that it’s so different from a corporate job, you’ve never seen an employee talk so casually inside the company building, much less show up to work in pajama pants. Secondly, when you take a quick glance across the room you notice the lack of desks, there’s only a couch and beanbags, an open kitchen and a big door with a sign that says, “don’t interrupt sexy time”.
“So, I heard you didn’t even need to do a job interview or anything? Boss just found you in the street and decided to hire you.” the guy makes small talk as he heads towards said door.
Come on, what would Park Jongseong even have to ask you in a job interview. If you’ve ever had phone sex? If you’ve ever made a guy cum?
You nod, “Yeah basically.”
The young man opens the door, he silently pads inside and you’re left alone in what seems to be the break-room/reception. There’s a coupe moving boxes—you suppose they haven’t had time to unpack everything yet—and a big pile of paperwork on the coffee table near the sofa. You instantly get closer, trying to see if they’re court filings or something of the sort. You can never be too sure. But it turns out it’s just forms and electricity bills.
When you hear footsteps you instantly straighten up and hold your own documents closer to your chest. This time the tall guy is accompanied by none other than the boss.
Jongseong is wearing a suit (with the slacks) and the same watch he had the other day—which if you look closer looks like a Roblox. He looks at you with a pleased smile and holds out his hand to shake yours.
“It’s nice to see you y/n,” he briefly squeezes your hand, “This is Nishimura Riki, he’s our main guy, everyone requests him. I’ll introduce you to everyone and then we’ll do a quick meeting in my office, how’s that sound?”
You walk past Riki, following him in the room. The walls are fully black inside, theres a couple of pods aligned like little telephone booths with pink neon lights all over them, it looks like a strip club with just a little hint of office elements such as a printer and a bulletin board. That’s it, the rest is neon lights and apparently…5 guys and a girl standing in the middle of the room.
They seem oddly out of place, is the first thing that comes to your mind. All of them are in suits and the girl in a professional looking dress, one of them—a tall guy who looks a bit like deer—holds a camera in his hands.
“Oh god..” Jongseong sighs as he sees one of the guys dusting off crumbs from his suit, mouth full of chips. “Everyone this is y/n. I count on you to treat her with respect and to show her around the office, explain the basics and help her out if needed.”
The guys nod, all 5 of their eyes raking over your whole face and body, and the girl smiles until her teeth show. You feel a little bit exposed so you let out an awkward laugh. “Hi, nice to meet you.” you bow politely.
It’s a mishmash of simultaneous answers, a couple ‘hey’s and smiles, then Jongseong walks to them and taps each of their shoulders as he introduces them, “This one’s Lee Heeseung” he’s tapping on the guy with a camera, “this one’s Yang Jungwon, this is Sim Jake, this is Park Sunghoon and this is Kim Sunoo.”
They’re all pretty in their own ways, Heeseung has big eyes that look like they have some kind of special effect lighting in them, Jungwon’s face is very expressive, Sunghoon looks a bit more reserved but still gives a shy smile, and Jake just grins all the time like he’s genuinely just a happy guy. But the prettiest one is definitely Sunoo—they’re all insanely attractive but he catches your eye immediately with his doll-like face.
“And this is our only—well second female staff now, her name’s Haejin.” Jongseong points to the girl. She looks gorgeous, she has these big black eyes and when she looks at you, you can already tell she’s going to be a sweetheart.
See if you would’ve been working in an office with only hot people at your last job, you would’ve made an effort to smile more.
2 hours in, you learn that despite its lack of internet presence Hotline 1OO9 is a fairly successful new company. As soon as the staff is done with their website photoshoot, they instantly get back to work in their little phone cabins, diligently picking up calls. It’s a surprise that there are so many customers really—in your mind this was a very underground thing that only Patrick, 63 year old on Reddit knew about. But no, it seems like the customer are just very secretive with what they choose to do in their free time and don’t go out of their way to recommend it on social media.
There’s a friendly atmosphere in the office, like they’ve known each other for a long time, they joke around and it doesn’t really feel like the typical workspace. Refreshing.
In Park Jongseong’s personal room you go over paperwork, the whole hiring process ordeal and a couple of rules that sound totally innate to you. The boss sits in a leather chair across his desk and hands you some forms to sign.
“Okay, these are confidentiality clauses and a couple other things I need you to go over. This one regards your paychecks and this other one I also need you to sign.”
You grab his pen and start going over the documents, knee bouncing over the table. Jongseong observes you quietly, chin propped on his hand like he’s trying to figure out whether you’re uncomfortable or not.
“Are you okay y/n?” he goes.
“Yeah I’m fine, just a little nervous about messing this up is all.” you admit, putting the pen down and sliding the documents over to him.
“Mmh, I know, a lot of my employees felt the same way the first time. So here’s what I had in mind, how about I assign you to a phone call with a female customer? She’s very respectful and nice, a long time client. Only if that’s okay with you though, if women aren’t your preference or anything that’s fine.” Jongseong offers, a thoughtful look on his sculpted face.
Ah, if only he knew.
“That would be very good actually. I think I might not feel that much pressure with a girl.” you nod.
“Perfect, then it’s settled. But if you have any doubts or need any guidance you can always talk to the rest of the employees, they’re really nice you’ll see. They can even give you a few lessons.”
A while after going through basic stuff, including whats required in calls, prompts etcetera, you’re walking inside the neon room along with Nishimura Riki who kindly guides you to a phone cabin. His blonde hair sits messy on his head and the top buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned due to the lack of aircon.
“Call me if you need anything okay?” he winks before shutting the glass door and walking away.
You pick up the phone that’s dangling from the wall, it’s a hot pink case that looks like the ones in those 80s sitcoms. There’s a little leather chair at the corner of the pod, you take a seat and look at the wall. You tell yourself that this is fine, that it’s for the money and that there’s no shame in such a work but really your main concern is embarrassing yourself on the call and not knowing how to entertain these people. You’ve been in a couple relationships and phone sex was a recurrent topic but talking dirty to strangers is a whole other topic.
When the phone in your hands rings, you almost jump, startled.
On the other side of the glass door, you spot Sim Jake watching you from his own pod. When he sees you jump, a small glint of amusement flashes in his eyes before he quickly looks away.
You pick up the call, relaxing in your seat to give the impression you know what you’re doing and you smile, hoping it’ll make your voice sound warm. “Hey, welcome to Hotline 1OO9, this is y/n, how are you doing today?”
The voice on the other end is low, the kind you’d get flustered by in real life. “Hi y/n, I’m good how are you?”
“I’m doing great thank you. This is actually my first time so I hope this will be enjoyable for you.” you say, fiddling with the fabric of your skirt.
“Don’t worry, you have a really pretty voice so this is already going well. Plus I’m not that demanding, I’d like to know your limits and boundaries if that’s okay?” she asks.
“Thank you, you sound very pretty too. For the limits i’m practically open to anything, feel free to talk about any topic.” you tell her.
She chuckles on the other end, “Okay, if you say so. But let me know if i’m saying something that makes you feel uncomfortable okay?”
She sounds really kind, so you hum, “Don’t worry, I’ll let you know, but i’m pretty sure I won’t need to. So, tell me a little more about what you’re hoping from today?”
“Honestly just a nice little chat, I’m…well I live in a very small town and I’d be a pariah if I ever came out of the closet so you know…I can’t really date girls there. The first time I called Hotline 1OO9 it was mainly to have phone sex, i’m no liar. But I talked to Haejin a couple times and it felt so comforting. I felt much less lonely, so I don’t really mind if this stays sfw you know?” the girl chuckles.
“I get it, I’m sure we can figure out the vibes throughout the call. Just know i’m open to both, whatever you need sweetheart.” you smile, genuinely this time.
When you look outside the pod, you find Heeseung and Jake watching you curiously. They’re leaning on the wall of their own pod and as soon as you spot them they quickly look away.
“Thank you, that’s nice to hear. Have I already told you how pretty your voice sounds?” she responds.
You look back at the wall, “I’m sure you did a couple seconds ago, but I liked it. You know when you can tell someone is pretty by the sound of their voice? That’s exactly how I feel about you.”
The girl chuckles, “Is it weird that sweet girls turn me on so much? I must be so deprived.”
“Well if that’s what you like I can be even sweeter. I bet I can even come up with sweet things to say if you tell me what you’re wearing right now” you tease, confidence coming easier than expected.
Turns out you’re a natural…?
“I’m wearing a tank top and my underwear,” she says, and you hear the phone move a bit.
“Mmh, soft little tank top? Is it tight?” you ask.
“It is, what are you wearing y/n?” she pushes back, tauntingly.
“I’m wearing a tank top too, and summer shorts.”
You’re not. You’re actually wearing office attire but she doesn’t have to know.
“Cute. Before anything, do you like being called a good girl y/n? Is that something you’re comfortable with?” you hear her take a soft panting breath, is she already turned on? Did you do good?
You’re tempted to ask her if you’re doing good, for the first time of your life you’re seeking approval. You contemplate the question for a quick second. You’ve never been called that and you’ve already unconsciously made up your mind about it, for some reason. It’s not something you’d ever ask your partner to call you, but it would be a stretch to say it makes you uncomfortable.
“You can call me anything you want pretty.” you respond, one leg crossing over the other.
“Mmh, atta girl.” she smiles on the other end. “I just want your voice and your attention. Can you do that?”
Well damn it if she doesn’t sound hot. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Soft voice for me, please. You’re not in charge right now. You’re just here to listen and answer when I ask.” you feel her get more and more comfortable but your habits get the best of you. You’re not used to being what she’s asking for.
“Alright, soft voice. I’m sorry,” you apologize, shifting in your seat.
“That’s better. Tell me how it feels, hearing me talk like that?” she rasps.
“Strange. I keep wanting to flip it and ask what you’re doing. It’s harder than I thought to just… stay quiet and follow.” you admit. You can tell she noticed the stiffness in your voice.
“That’s okay. You’re allowed to find it hard. You’re still doing it. You’re being a good girl just by trying.”
“…Thank you. I’m not used to hearing that.” you swear you feel something in the pit of your stomach when she utters those tempting words, and your thighs squeeze together for a brief second.
“You don’t have to know how to answer it perfectly. Just take it, okay? I’m gonna touch myself while I talk to you, but you stay still. Hands where they are. No touching.” she orders.
When she hears you hum, she presses, “Words baby. I need words.”
You almost gasp, clutching the phone tightly, “Yes, hands staying put. I’m sorry I don’t really know how to—”
“Shh, it’s fine. You’re doing good.” the words send sparks down your spine until they reach your core. “You’re fine. Tell me you’re my good girl.”
You take a deep breath. Outside, Heeseung and Jake are still pretending they’re not quietly observing, but you can tell they’re seeing your state. It should be embarrassing because they’re complete strangers and you’re the most vulnerable you’ve ever been sexually, but it isn’t. You like them watching, probably speculating in their heads, wondering if you’re aroused or extremely uncomfortable.
Truth is, both are mingling together in your head.
“I’m your… good girl?” you reply.
It comes out with a little interrogation at the end, and you instantly feel as stupid as ever. First day on the job and you’ve probabl already lost a client.
You didn’t expect to come out of your very first call with soaked panties and a dizzy head.
It’s funny how a confident woman can turn the sassiest girl into an embarrassed mess. But you can only admit you liked it, liked the attention and the care. Even more when she reassured you and praised you. That made you feel things you’d never felt before—as silly as it sounds—you’ve never expected to feel this way about a complete stranger.
Your panties are uncomfortably clinging to your pussy as you exit the pod, closing the door behind you. How much of a horn dog are you to be turned on by your job?
Heeseung and Jake instantly get off the wall and clear their throat, “Hey, how did it go?” Jake says with a small smile.
“It went good,” you reply before reframing, “Actually it went kind of bad. I hope I didn’t make us loose a client on my first day.”
Heeseung lifts an eyebrow, “How bad?”
You let out a self deprecating scoff, “I didn’t really know what I was doing, like at all. I expected her to let me lead but it was the opposite.”
Jake observes you, eyes trailing down to your bare legs involuntarily. He catches the tension there and quickly averts his gaze.
“Oh don’t worry, you just have to learn. Jungwon was like that at first but he got better and now he’s comfortable with a lot of different things.” Heeseung reassures you, lightly touching your forearm.
“What about Jungwon?” you hear a voice say behind you.
Turning around, you fall face to face with Yang Jungwon himself, holding a cup of coffee and a cookie wrapped in tissue.
“I was telling y/n about how it took you a while to learn the whole sub thing.” his colleague explains, leaning back against the wall lie he was earlier.
“Oh yeah, it was so weird at first. Random men telling me to be a good boy and take it, eugh. But I learned to enjoy some sides of it and not take it too seriously.” Jungwon explains.
It sounds a little bit off, like he shouldn’t just endure it because it’s part of the job, but you don’t say anything. Instead you’re surprised when he holds out the cookie in his hand before you.
“Here, I got this for you.” he smiles.
You take the sweet in your hand, “Oh thank you! You’re too sweet,”
It’s a caramel and black chocolate cookie, one of your favorites, and it tastes like heaven when you eat a piece of it. Jake mumbles something like, “what about me? I wanted a cookie too,” but you’re the only one who seems to hear.
“Don’t worry about it, how did your first call go?” Jungwon asks, siping on his coffee.
“Awkward. For her definitely. I was a mess, i feel like I wasted her money.” you admit with a self deprecating chuckle.
“I’m sure it’s fine, she can complain to customer service but trust me she won’t.” Jake affirms. “If you ever need pointers, stuff like that, you can let us know.”
Jungwon nods vehemently, “Totally, I’d be happy to help you out. I remember when I was a newbie Riki helped me out a lot and it went smoother afterwards.”
“Love you too man,” a deep voice cuts in.
It’s Nishimura Riki entering the room. He’s changed into casual clothes and ditched the cartoon pants, his hairs a little messy and he looks unfairly good.
“What’s up y/n? How was it?” he asks, almost like an old friend.
“Well, let’s just say I need some help.” you finish your cookie, wiping your mouth with the little tissue.
Riki clicks his tongue, “Anytime,” he looks at you up and down shamelessly, not even bothering to be subtle, and he smirks. “We can talk over lunch. Haejin and Sunoo are gonna eat out but we’ll all be here in the break room.”
A couple hours later and another two more calls in your record, you slip out of your booth. It went somehow smoother. The first guy was just a lonely guy who ended up crying instead of jerking off—which almost triggered your tears because of how sensitive you are—and the second guy was submissive at best, vanilla at worst.
The neon room is empty and everyone seems to have gone to the break room to grab lunch. You open the door and see that they’re already there.
Riki and Jungwon are sitting on a red leather sofa, Jake’s thrown on a beanbag along with Heeseung who’s on the floor eating chips, Sunghoon’s on a metallic chair with a rubik’s cube in his hand, laughing at something Riki’s saying.
“Oh y/n, come sit, come sit.” Jungwon lifts his head up and smiles. “We were just talking about Riki’s next client and how you could maybe listen to their call to get the hang of it.”
You take a sit on the only spot available which is next to him on the couch. Jungwon makes some space for you and hands you a paper towel and chopsticks when he sees you open your bag and take out a tupperware with last night’s meal.
“That would be awkward wouldn’t it? And what if the person doesn’t want that?” you cringe.
Riki responds, “Nah, she won’t mind. She’s a regular and she’s kind of into the whole humiliation and being heard thing. I’ll let her know beforehand though.”
You hum, considering it, but before you can say anything Sunghoon buts in, “What’s the problem though, when you do it what do you find hard?”
You dig into your meal, relaxing on the back of the couch like you’ve known these people for a long time. “Everything. Like to submit in general, I’ve never been… I hope i’m not oversharing but anyway, I’ve never been told what to do and I’m not sure how to respond or what to do, you know?”
Sunghoon nods comprehensively, “If you freeze or don’t know what to say, it’s completely okay to admit it, you know? You could say ‘I’m not sure what to do right now’, some people even like that, the honesty.”
“Yeah, and keep your responses short, just focus on listening and following one small instruction at a time. That’s already submitting.” Heeseung adds, eating his salad.
You feel insanely integrated already, almost like in preschool when you talk to people and instantly become friends with no need for introductions. Except well, you’re ‘bonding’ over bdsm right now, as insane as that sounds.
“Sounds easy but my brain becomes mush when I’m in the moment.” you shrug.
“How did the other two calls go?” Jake asks, now lying on the beanbag.
“First guy ended up crying. Wife left him and he’s lonely. The second guy was okay, he let me take the lead.” you explain.
“Oh so that’s why, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw your eyes get teary.” Heeseung chuckles. “I was walking by, almost knocked cause I thought you were gonna cry because of him.”
“No, I almost crying with him. Kinda caught me off-guard” you smile, recalling his sad voice. “But then I thought ‘what if his wife left him because he was an awful dude’ and got my shit together.”
Riki gives an amused smirk, “Perks of anonymity. I always wonder who’s on the other end—like imagine I’m dirty talking to someone who’s on an FBI watchlist?”
Everyone laughs as they finish their food and when all meals are practically empty, Park Jongseong emerges from his office.
“Already laughing together? That’s good.” he smiles, heading towards the open kitchenette and opening the fridge. “How’d it go y/n?”
You tell him about your first experience and the rest of the morning while Jongseong sits on the chair Sunghoon gives him. He listens and gives the same advice the others provided, before suggesting—just like they did—that you listen to one of their calls.
You learn after a bit of talking that he prefers to be called Jay, that Jongseong’s his official name but it sounds too serious. Everyone shares their age, and it turns out you’re right in the middle, Heeseung being older than you. You all chat cheerfully until Jay’s phone rings loudly in his office and it breaks the moment, calling the end of lunch break.
“Alright, sit down and make yourself comfortable.” Riki says as he opens the door of his phone cabin.
You do just that, sinking down on the little armchair on the conrner of the pod while he takes the other one. Riki extends his legs before him, man spreading on the chair as he grabs the phone in hand.
You think he’s going to say something but his eyes wander outside the pod and his eyebrows cock. “Nosy fuckers.” he mutters.
You follow his gaze and find Heeseung and Jake peeking inside, their hands on the glass like two kids. Do they have some sort of curiosity problem?
Riki gets up and reaches for something on the ceiling of the pod, his shirt lifting and revealing a hint of skin and what looks like a tattoo on his hipbone. This is the type of man you’d gush over outside of work, tall, lean and tattooed. But you have to focus on the task at hand.
He unhooks something and a thick curtain suddenly covers the glass door and plunges the room into darkness. “Shit, didn’t think this through.” he mutters, reaching blindly for the wall.
You stand up to help him find the the light but only end up bumping into him in the process. You feel your forehead hit Riki’s chest and when he finds the light switch you’re entirely too close. You swear you see him smirk as he sits back down on his armchair, spreading his legs like he owns the place.
It should infuriate you—you hate men who do that—but he looks good doing it, and as opposed to the men on the subway he’s doing it on his own armchair and not bothering anyone. Or yeah, maybe he’s just hot and that excuses it.
When the phone rings, Riki looks at you for a second, trying to read your face before he hits the button. “You okay?”
You nod, “Yeah yeah, go ahead.”
“Good girl,” Riki rasps.
You immediately freeze eyes narrowing in confusion, but the tone of his voice sends shivers running down your arms for some reason. He starts chuckling, clutching the phone on his lap, “Relax, it was just to set the mood.”
When you roll your eyes, avertin your gaze, he says a quick ‘Alright, just listen.” before he picks up the call.
“Afternoon,” Riki greets, a smug little look on his face like he just knows hes gonna do some damage.
You don’t hear the conversation at first, so you wonder what the point of it even is, it’s not like you need lessons in being dominant…
“There you are, how are you tonight?” he asks, one draped over his lap in a way that makes him look even manlier—if that’s even possible.
You see him nod before he replies to whatever she said, “Good. Before we start, I have someone here with me, she’d love to hear what a good girl sounds like when she’s being led. And I know you’re a good girl so you’re the perfect example she could get, am I right baby? I’m gonna put you on speaker so she can listen, you comfortable with that?”
There’s a pause during which she says something and he listens attentively, but his eyes are set on you. It’s like he’s silently making sure you’re giving him your full attention. The lesson’s gonna go really well if he keeps looking at you like that.
“Mmh, I thought you might. Say it clearly for her.” Riki smirks, a playful glint in his dark eyes. He clicks on the speakerphone button and puts it between the both of you.
“I’m okay with her listening, sir. I like being heard.”
She sounds young, in her late 20s and is already slightly out of breath. Very much like a specific someone… just not exactly for the same reason. You’re struggling to breathe because the room is a bit narrow and you’re bordering claustrophobia right now. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself instead of admitting you’re intimidated and also never thought your first day would go like that.
“Good girl. She’s sitting quietly right now, just observing. You’re going to stay honest and clear for both of us. Understood?” Riki continues.
And you feel his words in your stomach, cutting thought the barrier of embarrassment and principles because apparently you’ve left those out the door this morning.
“Yes sir.” the woman answers obediently, and you wish you could say you’re taking mental notes but really you’re focused on the 6ft something man whose gaze is bored into you. You know he’s trying to ‘set the mood’ or whatever, but it sure feels personal.
“Tell me where you are and what you’re wearing.” he questions.
“I’m in my bedroom… on my knees beside the bed, like you usually want. I’m only wearing my panties. Nothing else. My hands are in my lap like you said last time.” she replies, breath hitching like she’s getting turned on by her own submission.
“That’s good, hands stay in your lap ‘kay? You’re not touching yourself until I say so. You’re just gonna kneel there and answer me while she listens to every word. Clear?”
Yeah it feels personal. You cross your legs, feeling way too exposed and your hands fiddle with your skirt nervously.
“Yes sir, clear.”
“Then start by telling her what you are when you’re on the phone with me, baby.” Riki toys with the cord of the phone, looking at you all the while like he’s seeking your full focus.
“I’m a desperate slut who needs to be told what to do, sir.” her voice comes out smaller, you take notes on the tone and the specific words.
Riki clicks his tongue, “Louder. She’s right here. She needs to hear it properly.” The woman repeats it louder and he hums in approval, “Better. You’re doing good. You gonna keep being good for me okay, now spread your legs nice and wide. Keep your hands in your lap— don’t touch.“
There’s a small rustle of movement on the other end before she says in a small voice, “They’re spread sir.”
“That’s a good girl, does it feel nice being heard like that?”
You’re captivated by this stranger under the weirdest circumstances of your life. The way he talks sends warmth pooling in your lower stomach and you feel like an intruder.
The woman hums, “It feels… humiliating. But in the way that makes me wetter.“
Alright, too much information, you think, looking up at the ceiling to try and escape his gaze. The longer you listen the more you ge the hang of it, she doesn’t try to perform, she just does as she’s told, it’s not that complicated. Your thighs press together on the seat, and you’re pretty damn sure Nishimura Riki has noticed it but at least he has office etiquette and doesn’t say anything about it.
Not that anything about this screams ‘office’…
You stand up, legs a little wobbly. No kink shaming but this isn’t really your thing, and you don’t want to start hearing her flick the bean, as much as you’re curious about how Riki would sound talking her through it—
“Going?” the young man’s eyes follow your figure.
“Yup, think I got what I needed,” you whisper, low enough that the customer doesn’t hear.
The next few days are better. You slowly get the hang of it until you’re on a call with a man on your third day, and things go a lot smoother. It starts coming naturally, the pace, the words, everything starts being a little easier once you imagine it’s Nishimura Riki on the phone—
Major slip-up. What you meant is that Riki’s such a good mentor that it feels reassuring to imagine him because he’s not a stranger anymore.
Or at least that’s what you’ve established after eating together for a whole week straight on lunch breaks, sharing details of your lives with the other colleagues and joking around. They’re all extremely friendly and you quickly learn that they’ve all had some sort of financial problems which led to them being desperate for a job.
They’re not even surprised when you share that you were suspicious of Jay when approached you in the subway like the recruiter in Squid Games. They say he likes to do funky stuff like that for the love of the game and joke that he probably had a crush and didn’t know how to shoot his shot so went with the business approach.
You find that hard to believe since Jay hasn’t really talked to you all that much these past few days, but it’s not like it’s important anyway.
You begin noticing that Haejin is the sweetest person alive, she’s genuinely kind and means well—a nice upgrade from your old colleagues who didn’t hesitate to talk shit about you in front of the male staff just to get their attentions—she’s soft spoken and gives amazing advice on how to make the dirty talk flow. Granted that’s not something you thought you’d ever talk about with a woman you’ve only known for a couple days but she’s got a way of making you feel at ease, so much so that you end up telling her over the course of lunch, that you haven’t sex in a few months.
“How do you even live?” Haejin groans like she’s been hurt.
You snort, knife digging in your reheated steak, “I’m doing just fine. Kind of tense with all that sex talk all day long, but it’s fine.”
Haejin nods avidly, “I know right? I was just like you when I first started working here. But then I just became the horniest bitch ever. There’s no other way to put it.”
You chuckle at the curse word coming out of her sweet sweet mouth, “Its like i’m having foreplay all day but no real sex.”
“Oh I totally get it. Even the guys weren’t like that when I first met them. We all came here around the same time and I remember Jake for example, he was so calm and sweet. Now he’s gone mad, one time he even got a boner in the neon room. But don’t repeat it though, or he’ll be embarrassed.” Haejin whispers secretively.
Jake is sitting across the room on one of the beanbags, his phone in hand. He’s wearing jeans a t-shirt that really brings out the color of his eyes and—
Yeah, to be honest it’s just a white t shirt, nothing to do with his eyes. What it brings out though, is the outlines of his broad chest.
“I feel like that’s just natural, it’s basically sex all day long, how can you not react?” you reply, one hand covering your mouth like a true gossiper.
“Er, yeah. You’re probably right. He’s not even the only one, it’s like working with a bunch of sexually frustrated guys. Thank God they’re respectful though.” she affirms.
You look around the room, only Jake and Sunoo are here, Sunoo on the red leather couch doing god knows what on his phone. The rest of them are in the neon room probably working and Jay is out of town for a meeting.
“What you got this afternoon?” Haejin asks you, her fork raised in the air.
“A call with the guy who cried the other day and then a new client. The rest I don’t know yet, I’m waiting for the boss to send in my schedule.” you tell her.
“I’ll get you some tissues jeez, that one’s gonna be tough. Sometimes all these guys need is a therapist I swear.” Haejin rolls her eyes amused.
Before you can even answer, the phone rings on the front desk—or more like the kitchen aisle that Jay has transformed into a reception desk for the lack of one. Haejin grunts but you stand up before she can, “Don’t worry I got it.”
You pick up the call, it’s a delivery guy telling you there’s a package for Hotline 1OO9. “Yep, i’ll be here in a second, let me just get someone.” you reply when he tells you that they’re heavy boxes.
You put the phone down and look at Haejin who’s currently finishing her poke bowl, Jake and Sunoo are also munching on a sandwich so you decide to go call someone else and let them eat in peace.
A couple seconds later you’re softly opening the door to the neon room and peeking inside. It’s practically silent but you can see Riki, Sunghoon and Heeseung are in their respective sound proof booths on a call. In the corner of the room on a little chair he’s probably moved, Jungwon’s sitting with his phone, chin resting on his fist.
“Jungwon.” you whisper shout, hoping he’ll hear.
His head snaps up instantly and his once bored face turns into a smile. “What’s up?”
You point behind you and he understands, standing up to come join you he closes the door behind him. “There’s a delivery guy with some heavy boxes, can you come help me?”
Jungwon nods, following suit as you head out the office. In the elevator there’s a long silence before the doors open to the main entry and you fall face to face with 6 big boxes—screw that, huge boxes. They’re stacked haphazardly in the middle of the main entryway, practically blocking the doors. For a second, you just stand there, staring at them.
“What the heck is this? Did the boss even say anything about some packages?” Jungwon blinks several times, arms already tired just with the sight. He greets the delivery guy and signs the receipts.
“Not to me anyway.” you say when he leaves, crouching in front of one of the boxes and looking for a tag. When you find a tiny tag with an eggplant drawing you instantly understand. “That’s a box of penises.”
Jungwon snorts, surprised. “What?” he crouches next to you, his arms brushing yours and he takes a look at the side of the box. “Yeah that’s definitely a penis box.”
You chuckle, bumping his elbow and standing up to grab the boxes but he doesn’t, “Wait, let me see what’s inside before.” he says.
Before you can even tell him not to, Jungwon rips open one corner of the box and peeks inside—no literally shoves his eyes in the little gap.
“Yeah, it’s dicks.” he states once he comes up.
“How many of them?” you puff out your cheeks, fighting an incredulous laugh and Jungwon shrugs.
“Probably more than a hundred, judging by the number of boxes. Why are they sending hundreds of dildos here?”
You go towards the other box, ripping the corner but more gracefully than Jungwon did. Inside this one there’s a ton of wrapped up pocket pussies, other male sextoys and business cards. “This one has different ones. Who is this even for?”
“Probably for the clients, like freebies or something…?” Jungwon shrugs, bending to lift one of the boxes. The muscles in his arms flex as he hauls the heavy weight, his jaw clenching. The second you bend down to grab one of your own he tuts, “Let me do it, they’re heavy. I don’t want your back to hurt.”
You roll your eyes—although you secretly find it endearing—and you lift up the box, “I’ll be aight. I’m a big girl.”
Jungwon huffs a laugh, “Oh I know you are.”
And what does that even mean??
You practically melt on the spot—though you never show it—and you head towards the elevator careful not to snap your whole body in two with the hefty weight. It’s the goddamn job they do, it’s making them all hot and filthy and you’re starting to become just like them, sensitive to the smallest details and interpreting everything in a weird way. You need to get a grip.
After hauling the boxes inside the elevator, Jungwon gets in beside you and wipes the little bit of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, and of course, his shirt rides up on his v-line. Because it wouldn’t be funny otherwise.
When he catches you looking involuntarily, he smirks, eyes narrowing as the smirk becomes a full on smile. “You okay? Your back hurt?” he asks when you move and subtly wince.
“I’m good—” but you don’t have time to say anything before he gets behind you and places a hand between your shoulders.
The elevator seems to take 20 years to get to the third floor as Jungwon presses between your muscles, softly massaging the flesh, “See, you’re a liar, there’s tension there.”
You scoff, half amused half…turned on? Whatever the heck is happening to your body these days needs to be blamed on the job. “I’m fine, you worry about your own shoulders.”
You turn around at that—big mistake—and end up facing him. He’s taller so you have to look up and when you do, his eyes are slightly hooded, like he’s faded. Your brain screams, ‘dick dick dick dick dick’, so much so that you end up laughing in his face. You’ve completely lost it.
“What’re you laughing about?” Jungwon gives a curious smile, looking down at you.
Blessed be the elevator, you’re saved from having to come up with an answer when it finally stops on the third floor. Thankfully, Sunghoon and Jake are already waiting in the hallway, ready to help with the boxes.
“Boss just called, he’s ordered some freebies for the regular customers.” Sunghoon informs you, grabbing one of the packages effortlessly.
“Is there candy inside? Or like merch?” Jake asks, his eyes widening at the size of the boxes, cocking his head.
“Jake be for real man.” Jungwon chuckles, grabbing a box too, “What kind of merch could he be sending out to these people?”
“It’s dicks and pussies” you add, helpfully.
Jake’s expression turns into one of exaggerated disgust, “Jay’s just gonna send out sextoys?”
“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t tell girls and boys to stroke their shit and talk them through it all day long,” Sunghoon laughs, rolling his eyes.
“What happened with sex toys?” Haejin butts in as you all carry the boxes inside, she holds the door open and looks over curiously.
“It’s for the regular customers,” Sunghoon explains, stretching after he drops his box on the floor.
“Hello, I’m a regular customer.” she bows dramatically, “No jokes I hope we get to have one too.”
Jungwon laughs, “Just take one, I’m sure he’s not gonna spend an hour counting sextoys.”
Best believe Haejin does take one, she even invites all of you to do the same but only Sunghoon seems unbothered enough to suit himself. As for you, it’s not like you’re ashamed of using sex toys but holding a dildo in your hands in front of three buff guys isn’t not something you’d really like to experience today.
A couple minutes later, Riki and Heeseung emerge from the neon room and sit next to Sunoo on the couch. The oldest throws his head back until it hits the wall and groans, “I’m so tired.”
“What happened?” Sunoo asks him.
“The girl I just got a call with wanted me to call her my ‘little horny slut’.” he grunts, burrying his face in his hands.
“Why the fuck are you complaining right now?” Sunghoon blurts, incredulous, “I just spent 20 minutes on the phone with a girl who wanted me to call her ‘bad little gold-digger’.”
Riki snorts, one hand covering his mouth, “I usually don’t kink shame but how the fuck is that enjoyable.”
Before anyone can start venturing into this embarrassing topic, one of the phones in the neon room rings loudly, starting everyone.
“Oh shit, fuck. Forgot about the crying guy.” you say cryptically as you hurry towards the room.
You forgot you had work. Perfect.
You hear Haejin chuckle, “What is she talking about?” she asks when you’re out of sight.
You slip inside your pod and quickly grab the phone. In a hurry to pick up you press the button a couple of times and speak into the microphone, “Hello, this is y/n, good afternoon.”
But no one answer, it’s just a mess of static and creaking noises so you push the button again. “Heeello, this is y/n good afternoon.”
Crickets.
You put the phone down and make a beeline for the break room, once you’re there all of their heads snap up to you. “Can someone help with my booth, the phone won’t work I can’t hear the other person and there’s like static and stuff.”
Everyone turns their heads to Jake at the very same time, like he’s the assigned handyman of the office. Well apparently he is, you learn when Sunoo says, “Ask Jake, he’s always the one who fixes the phones. He knows his way around electronics.”
Jake stands up promptly, dusting off his jeans and looking over to where you stand with a sheepish smile, “I’ll help you.”
He follows you into the neon room and inside the pod, crouching in front of the cables. “We always get technical difficulties these days, I don’t know why Jay won’t just change the phones. Were you only hearing static?”
You nod in response, crossing your eyes with furrowed eyebrows, “I picked up and couldn’t hear a thing.”
Jake tweaks some buttons, a very focused look on his face, and once he estimates he’s done he looks up at you from where he crouches. “Try calling him back now, tell me if it’s fine.”
You do just that, sitting at the edge of the armchair you dial his number and wait. Once the ringing stops you finally hear a voice,
“Hello?” you call.
“Oh, finally, I thought you—” the rest is completely inaudible. You look down at Jake and give him a thumbs down. “Do you hear me?” the man tries again.
“I can hardly hear you, my colleague is trying to fix the issue, I’m so sorry.” you apologize, a little self conscious, “can you try and speak again for me?”
There’s a little bit of static before you can finally hear the man again, “—worry, you’re worth the wait. Take your time but—”
You curse under your breath as the line cuts again, and Jake messes with the cables, eyebrows pinched together, “Can you repeat that for me darling?” you tell the other man.
But Jake snaps his head up with a small, ‘huh?’ cheeks flushing like he thinks you were talking to him.
“Not you, dummy.” you whisper, pointing at the phone with a chuckle.
“I said don’t worry you are worth the wait, and to take your time but to not hang up on me.” the other man repeats.
“I won’t hang up on you, my colleague’s working on it as we speak.” you assure him, “How about we start? I don’t wanna waste your time.”
You hear him hum, pleased, “Whatever you like, I’d wait for you anyway.” he says, sounding a little desperate already.
You didn’t catch that side of him the other day because he unfortunately started crying midway through the actual dirty talk, but right now he sounds a little bit needy. He’s a divorced millenial but he seems particularly submissive, so a win is a win.
“You’re cute,” you fake-chuckle seductively, well aware that Jake is a couple of inches away, “What are you doing right now?”
You hear the sound of fabric ruffling and the smallest groan, “I’m in bed right now, I have my—”
The static starts again and you softly tap on Jake’s shoulder, “It’s cutting again, what should I do?” you whisper.
Your colleague holds a cable in his hand and looks up, “Just ask him to repeat and keep going while I figure this out, tell him he’ll get a price reduction or something.”
You nod, “Can you repeat handsome? I’m so sorry I couldn’t hear you.”
“It’s okay mommy, I said i’m in bed and I have my dick in my hand, hope that’s okay.” the man says, big emphasis on the mommy part.
You cringe, rubbing the corner of your eye as you fight to maintain your composure in the awkward situation. There’s a 50 something year old calling you mommy on one side and a very handsome puppy-looking boy on the other.
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” you get back into character, leaning back against the armchair.
You see Jake’s shoulders twitch imperceptibly as he continues working but he doesn’t turn around or make a sound. On the end of the line, the man lets out a pathetic little moan, “I’m sorry mommy, i’m sorry. I’ll be better.”
Oh my days, you think to yourself.
But what cancels the second hand embarrassment is Jake’s reaction when you speak next.
“Look at you apologizing, that’s a good boy. Now don’t touch it until I say.” you tell the old guy in a low voice.
You swear you see Jake’s cheeks turn completely red, his hands slightly shaking as he works the electronics. And somehow that’s so much more thrilling than a guy calling you mommy. You think about what Haejin said earlier when she mentioned the state Jake was in ever since he started working here. The idea of toying with him seems so amusing, because as unprofessional as it sounds, what is even professional about this job in the first place?
“Yes mommy, I’ll—” the other man says, the line glitching again. You assume he’s saying what any submissive guy would say, which is ‘I’ll be your good boy’, it sounds coherent so you don’t even bother asking him to repeat.
“Mhh, that’s right. You’re doing so good f’me” you answer, eyes fixed on the back of Jake’s neck, which is completely flushed red. “I bet you want to touch that cock real bad, don’t you?”
You hear your colleague take a sharp intake of air and his fingers almost slip off the cables he’s working on. He’s pulled taunt like an elastic, nervous and fidgety, and you just want to mess with him all day long if that’s how his reactions escalate.
“Yes yes, please,” the man whines on the phone, fabric rustling as he most likely moves on his bed, restless. “Please, I’d do anything.”
“Aw, you’d do anything?” you taunt, voice progressively getting lower, “what if I say you can’t touch yourself today, would you do that?”
Jake’s breath audibly hitches and he drops his head closer to the wall, trying not to loose it. You can tell he’s a weak weak man in this moment, but he’s genuinely trying to make it seem like he’s fine. He messes with the buttons a couple of times before quickly standing up, dusting off his jeans once again. When he raises a thumb in question, he still doesn’t quite meet your gaze. You hum in response, noticing that the static on the phone has finally disappeared.
You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ and smile at him but he doesn’t reply, just blushes madly and scrambles out of the pod. You don’t even hear what the man is saying on the other end, toofocused on Jake’s retreating figure.
He doesn’t even bother closing the door behind him, which is why seconds after you hear Sunghoon’s voice saying, “Man, what happened to you? Don’t tell me you—…oh you horny motherfucker…”
A couple weeks go by, during which you do nothing but have fictional sex with strangers over the phone and hang out with your colleagues like you’re still in high school.
Nothing about it is professionally really, just a bunch of touch deprived idiots cracking jokes in between calls because it saves you from going insane over the fact none of you are getting laid.
You tell your friend everything when you’re outside of work, and she listens with a slightly incredulous look. She’s never heard of such an—and, I quote—“perfect job.”
She seems to think working with 7 hot men, a beautiful woman and talking about coitus all day long is the ideal job.
And while you’re grateful for getting paid doing absolutely nothing, it’s also starting to take a toll on your health. You’ve been having incessant wet dreams these past few days, to the point where you come into work pent up and frustrated, and seeing a bunch of fuckable men doesn’t help in the slightest.
The calls go smoothly with occasional little incidents such as a weird client asking for way more than he should be asking—pictures, because yes apparently he’s entitled to pictures because you work for a sex hotline—but other than that it’s all routine by now.
You find yourself spending more and more time with Heeseung, grabbing coffee before work in the morning, talking about life and office gossip. He even introduces you to photography and sneaks a couple picture of you when you’re not looking. One day Haejin even says he looks like he likes you, but you don’t think much of it, everyone’s desperate and pent up in that office after all.
You eat lunch with Sunoo a couple of times, he’s a very sweet guy, a little sassy sometimes but never mean. He lets you in on all the lore, inside jokes and stuff you’ve missed since they all started working together; he tells you about the time Riki’s ex called the hotline so he would give her another chance—after she cheated mind you—and you laugh for hours about a video of Haejin running and bumping into Jay by mistake.
You quickly become friends with them, though sometimes you question if ‘friends’ is an accurate description for your relationship. It’s not crazy really, but at times you’re left wondering if getting turned on by a so called friend really makes it a friendship.
Like that one time when everyone else had work to do, leaving you and Sunghoon alone in the break room—or more specifically, on the sofa.
You recall your thighs touching and neither of you moving away even though Riki and Sunoo had vacated their spots. Sunghoon was tired when he threw his head back against the wall, extending his legs in front of him and lifting his arms up in a stretch; you remember seeing his shirt lift up to reveal a small line of hair that led straight into his pants and your thighs pressed together in a matter of miliseconds.
Averting your gaze you noticed his protruding adam’s apple, the shape of it so beautiful you had to completely look away. But then you felt his eyes burning into the side of your face, you had to look out of curiosity.
Sunghoon was gazing at you with a lopsided smile, his eyes hooded. It almost took the breath out of your lungs—blame it on the deprivation—but you held his gaze, a challenging glint in your orbs.
“You have nice eyes.” he said, the fatigue almost making him sound high.
The corner of your mouth lifted in a small smile of your own, “Why are you saying that?”
“I don’t know, you’re pretty. Is that a weird thing to say?” Sunghoon replied, deliberately lifting his arms higher before dropping them to his lap.
“My eyes and now me in general?” you teased.
“Come on, you know you’re pretty. Everyone’s been saying it.” he chuckled, eyes dropping to your lips for a second.l before going back to your eyes.
“No one’s been saying that.“
“Well yeah, they didn’t say it to your face. But trust me they did. Especially Jake, he’s been all weird lately.” Sunghoon affirmed.
You swore the tension was going to kill you right then and there, the way he was looking at you was making you feel like you were bare in front of his eyes. You didn’t even know him all that well, you’d talked to him a lot over lunch but it was superficial, nothing too intimate. Now he was looking at you for the very first time like he wanted to devour you. How weird.
“Well that’s sweet, thank you.” you smiled, your eyes unable to leave his. And while the knowledge that Park Sunghoon thought you were pretty didn’t really change anything, his gaze said a couple hundred things in only a few minutes.
Lord have mercy for you were close to sinning.
“And he went like ‘tell me who’s pussy this is’, erm bitch not yours??” Haejin takes a deep imitating voice.
She’s perched on the arm of the sofa, making big movements with her arms as she narrates her last call and everyone listens. You’re crammed between Heeseung and Jungwon, Jake falling asleep on the beanbag while Riki sits on the floor in front of the couch.
“The audacity to say that to a sex line operator.” Sunoo comments. He looks almost peaceful if you didnt look closely and noticed his leg bouncing and his jaw slightly clenched.
The thing is, you’ve kind of had suspicions that the two of them—Sunoo and Haejin—were somehow involved together. Maybe it’s the way they often eat alone together, or how they’re extremely touchy with each other, constantly brushing their hands together and sneaking glances when the think no one’s looking. You’re not falling for it though, you can tell the difference between friends and people who have fucked.
The sneaky bastards.
“I know it’s just dirty talk but I wanted to laugh so bad,” Haejin continues.
“You’re so strong cause I would’ve been laughing already.” you snort.
Heeseung bumps your arm playfully, “You would’ve been laughing cause you don’t usually like it, there’s a difference.”
You raise an eyebrow looking over at him, “who says I don’t like it?”
There’s a silence in the room and you almost think you said something out of line, but then again what’s ‘out of line’ in here?
Heeseung huffs a laugh, “I thought you weren’t into that shit?”
“Doesn’t mean I’m against it.” you answer. “I like a good surprise.”
His eyes trail down your face to your lips and his tongue darts out to lick his. He’s being so obvious yet it’s so enthralling you want to melt into the couch.
The moment is cut short when Haejin clears her throat and waves a hand between both your faces, breaking the spell. “Hello? Get a room please.”
Sunghoon groans, “Whole room horny.”
Heeseung smiles, throwing his head back on the back of the couch while the whole room sounds like a bunch of desperate teenagers. It’s almost time to go back to work but everyone’s dreading the prospect.
Riki brings in his 2 cents, “I say we should go to the club and all get laid this weekend.”
“100% agreed,” Jake says, voice muffled by the beanbag he’s currently lying face down on. “I can’t go on like this.”
No one has time to give their opinion because the door to Jay’s office opens and he comes out holding a stack of papers, a pair of serious glasses perched on his nose.
“I don’t know if you guys remember this conversation we had a couple weeks back? Yn you weren’t there yet so I’m just gonna brief you in on this idea.” he starts, “We talked about implementing duo calls to our list, so you guys would be paired up on calls depending on the requests. I received a couple requests for Y/n and Riki and also Sunoo and Haejin this afternoon, how does that sound to you guys?”
You look around and find Riki’s eyes already on you, he seems to be just as surprised as you are. Since the other day, there’s been a slightly tense atmosphere between the two of you, like you’ve walked in on an intimate moment even though it was professional.
You can still hear his voice and it sends shivers down your spine whenever you’re catapulted back to that moment. Now to know the boss wants you to both participate while sitting next to each other in those narrow cabins is somethjng else. Sure, you’ve done it in front of Jake but it was just to mess with him, now you have to be serious and somehow collaborate in your dirty talk, if that makes sense.
“But like, how would that work? What would need to do?” Haejin asks, cocking her head.
Jay holds out a peace of paper, proud. “That’s why I printed these out, I’m gonna need you to go somewhere together in pairs. I gave you each a specific scenario and I want you to rehearse okay? These people are willing to pay a good price for this, so i don’t want it to be rushed.”
“Customer is male, he likes the idea of cuckholding but wants to be involved too. What can you do to make it sound authentic while also interacting with him?” Riki reads.
He’s sitting across from you in his booth, legs spread as he lounges on his armchair. You agreed to rehearse with the curtains drawn for maximum privacy because you both know how curious the rest of the staff can be, but the con is that now the cabin feels so much smaller and Riki’s playing right into it.
He’s got bedroom eyes, always looking at you like he’s trying to say something with them and he plays with the knowledge that he can get you flustered easily.
“First of all, you’re gonna have to come closer to me since we only have one phone. Then we should give him a lil show, talk to each other, imply we’re doing actual things to each other etcetera.” Riki says, folding the sheet in half, “Can you fake moans?”
You almost snort, “For 300 dollars yes I can.”
Three hundred is the price the man is offering to pay to hear you both. You’d almost be flattered…in another world.
“We don’t wanna risk it though, let me hear you.” Riki insists.
You shake your head immediately, “I’m not gonna just moan out of the blue. Trust me I got this, I’m gonna do good.”
Riki’s smirk widens, his gaze darkening, “Oh I know you’re gonna do good y/n.”
You’re tempted to look away, his gaze too heavy on you, but his words are what do it. You’re a whole different person around him and he seems to notice, seems to find it amusing, really. You look down at your shoes, tapping them on the floor distractedly.
“Come here, let’s rehearse before he calls” he cuts through your silence, beckoning you with his finger. It’s with hesitant legs that you stand up, not really knowing where to go, and stand awkwardly next to his armchair. “Just come sit here, we can’t be too far apart or he’ll notice.”
You zero in on his pointer finger tapping his thigh and your eyes widen a little bit. That was never in the job description—though you should’ve expected it with how comfortable everyone is. You bury your embarrassment somewhere your brain can’t find and you lower yourself to sit on Riki’s lap.
“That’s it mama, sit down.” he encourages in a low voice. His hand comes up to your hip, touch light and respectful in order to steady you.
“Mama?” you chuckle nervously, back pressed against his chest, amused by the nickname.
“I’m rehearsing aren’t I?” Riki says against the back of your neck, his breath fanning on your sensitive skin. “Come on, dont be shy, gimme a moan. You have to make him believe it.”
You shake your head, hair brushing his shoulder, “It’s gonna sound awful.”
But Riki doesn’t seem to care. You can feel him getting closer by his breathing against your neck until you’re sure his lips are merely inches away from your skin. “No it’s not, you can do it.”
You huff a laugh but it comes out oddly weak as your head lolls involuntarily. Every part of your body is stimulated by only the feeling of his breath, how pathetic does that sound? You’re so deprived that the thought of his lips being so close brings you to utter weakness.
“I cant just moan like that, what if I sound off?” you say, breathless.
Riki doesn’t reply, instead you feel his lips brush your nape and your eyes flutter shut as you fight to stay focused. He trails a path down to your shoulder, pressing his lips over the fabric of your top until he finds a bare strip of skin. Simultaneously, his hands lightly squeeze your sides, and when you shift on his lap he squeezes harder. Your breath hitches and he seems to hear it because his fingertips travel to your ribs before settling on your stomach. Riki traces circles on the part that’s not covered by your top, his lips playing with neckline of it.
The moment he leaves lazy open mouthed kisses all the way to your jaw from behind, you gasp, clutching the hem of your skirt with shaky fingers.
“There you go. Sound so pretty. Is that all it takes?” Riki teases, teeth nipping at your earlobe. “I knew you could do it, I’m just gonna have to keep you right here all through it.”
You feel his tongue dart out to taste the skin where jaw meets neck and you instinctively brace yourself with hands on his thighs, to which he reacts to with a low hum. You don’t even know what this is, what you’re doing, but it feels too good to stop. It’s like being denied water for months and finally getting to drink. Except Riki’s like Mountain Valley Spring Water.
He squeezes your hips, fingers venturing into the skin of your exposed thighs. “You can do better can’t you?” he rasps against your neck.
You’re left lightheaded and unable to reply so he only makes it worse. Riki squeezes, traces patterns all the way to your inner thighs and stops right there. That’s when you nod, needing his touch like air. You can’t bear to feel him stop.
“Good girl, show me then.” he praises, teeth grazing your skin.
The next thing you know, Riki spreads your legs on his lap and his hands settle on your inner thighs. He’s touching one of your most sensitive spots and you just cant control the moan that comes out of your mouth.
It’s a mix of a pant and a moan, low and soft, and Riki seems to react physically to it. His hands squeeze the fat of your inner thighs and wander higher, right where your skirt bunches up.
“What if I just slip those panties to the side,” he emphasizes by hooking his finger to the hem of your panties, never actually touching you. “and have you sit on my cock all through the call. Would that make you moan alright?”
Your breath goes wild as you throw your head back shamelessly, you’re pretty sure he’s managed to get your panties soaked with only a few PG 16 touches. “You’re crazy,” you whisper shakily.
“Am I? The door’s closed and we’re supposed to put on a show for him anyway.” Riki chuckles lowly. “If you don’t want to it’s alright mama, I won’t push.”
You shake your head and nod simultaneously, completely out of it. You don’t even know what you want except that you need to feel something.
You could cry if you’re left on the edge once again after enduring it for weeks.
“That a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, pretty?” the bastard laughs again, amused by your state of evident arousal. He lifts the hem of your panties and snaps them back into place, his other hand stroking the skin of your hip.
“Yes, yes.” you gasp, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
Riki hums, but he doesn’t rush to take them off, instead he cups your cunt through the fabric and presses his palm against your clit. He presses in pulsing motions, until your legs are closing around his hand and he has you boneless on his lap.
That’s when you feel his bulge pressing against your ass, thick and rock hard, and everytime you shift in pleasure, it twitches through his jeans.
“You’re soaking right through the fabric, pretty.” he whispers against your ear, fingers toying with the wet patch in the front of your panties. “Gonna take these off now, that okay with you?”
You nod instantly, spreading your legs for him to access. The second you do, he tugs your panties to the side, and the air hits your sopping cunt. Your walls clench around nothing, desperate to feel him, and Riki takes his sweet time, grabbing the phone in one hand and unbuckling his pants with the other. “A shame I can’t see your face like this mama, turn around f’me.”
You obey, on shaky legs you turn around and sit on him, facing him. Now you can clearly see his face, his flushed cheeks and messy hair, hooded eyes and the thick bulge in his pants. It looks like it hurts when he palms himself, buckle in hand.
“Go for it.” he rasps, bringing your fingers to his zipper.
While you unzip him, Riki strokes your cheek and tugs gently at the hair in the back of your head. When you’re done he lifts his hips a bit and tugs his jeans down to his knees along with his Calvin Kleins. His cock slaps against his lower stomach when he frees it, tip weeping precum all over his pelvis. It’s already fiercely erect, standing out proudly against his happy trail, pressing upward toward his stomach.
Before you can do anything, the phone rings in his left hand and he sighs shakily. “Come here then, sit on it.” he rasps.
You look at him through your lashes as you wrap a hand at the base of his cock and lift your hips, angling him below your pussy. You feel your thighs shaking as his tip brushes your clit, and you brace yourself on his chest, eyes closing.
The moment you sink down and take the head of his cock in, Riki groans, gripping your hip. “Such a good girl— fuck…look at you.”
He looks down at where your bodies meet, your pussy accommodating his thick length as best as you can, and he shuts his eyes, adjusting to the intense suction. When you take more of him he whispers, “Can I pick up the call now?”
You nod breathlessly and when he’s all snug and entirely inside of you, you moan. Before pressing a button and accepting the call, Riki takes one last look at his cock stretching you open.
“Hello, this is Riki and Y/n for Hotline 1OO9, how’s your day?” he says with a steady voice, except or when you listen closely to his messy breathing.
Riki presses the speaker button and holds the phone between you both. How are you even supposed to come up with words when he’s stretching you like that? You can only clench around him until you feel every ridge and every vein like they’re memorized.
“My day’s good, thank you for picking up.” the guy on the other end says, his voice a little bit shy.
Your head falls forward on Riki’s shoulder and your forehead rests there. At the sight, his cock twitches inside you and he pushes in deeper, trying to reach the deepest part of you. To that, you moan, nails digging into his arms. You want to move so bad, you wanna fuck yourself on his cock and finally reach a long awaited orgasm.
The customer must hear every little sound you make because he asks, “Are you close to each other?”
Riki chuckles, one hand grabbing your ass and kneading it, “Got her on my lap, must be why she sounds so breathless. Don’t you baby?” he kisses your jaw.
You hum, weak all over. But Riki won’t have it, he grabs your chin and puts his thumb on your lower lip, “Use your words. Can you do that for me?”
You nod, “yes, yes.” and he rewards you with a sharp slap to your ass. “Good girl,” he praises.
It’s like the man on the other end of the line fades away, you can’t even hear his voice, just Riki’s and whatever he’s doing to your pliant body. His eyes are endless pits of darkness when he looks at you, pushing his thumb past your lips, and as you suck around it obediently, your walls clench around him and your hips shift.
“Uh-huh, who said you could move?” Riki takes his thumb out of your mouth and grips your hips to stop you.
You grip his arms, your belly moving with each ragged breath you take, and Riki’s cock throbs inside. He takes both your hands and holds them together behind your back, having you there seated on his dick, pride stripped away while a stranger listens.
“Oh look at that, you’re making such a mess.” Riki hums, looking at where you’re linked, his lower abdomen covered in your slick. “She’s so wet, soaking all over me,” he tells the man.
You don’t even hear his reaction, the need to move so intense it buzzes in your ears.
“Oh baby, you wanna move so bad, don’t you?” Riki taunts, giving the smallest thrust. But it’s enough to make you crazy, thighs shaking and body rocking.
When he speaks to the other man, you shiver, “She’s a mess, shaking on my cock. You should see her, so pretty when she just takes it.”
“Fuck… please, I can’t.” you plead, looking a Riki though your lashes, desperate for more movement. He’s so deep inside of you that even the smallest thrust makes you see stars.
“You want this?” his hips buck up, tip of his cock hitting a delicious spot inside of you. Your gummy walls cling to him, pulsing and keeping him right there, and he groans. “So tight, course you want it, you’re practically choking my cock.”
You hear the other man’s happy sounds but you shut his voice out, focusing on Riki.
“More, please.” you beg.
“Should I give her more?” he asks the customer with a smug smirk.
“No, not yet.” the latter decides, panting.
Riki shrugs, looking at you, “You heard him baby, just stay still.”
You’re not even sure you can take it. Every slow pulse of his heartbeat travels right through the shaft and presses against the softest parts of you, each one makes your hips twitch with the need to fuck back. You can feel how hard he is—impossibly hard—yet he holds himself completely still, breath controlled, hands locked on your wrists to stop you from grinding. Because Riki is so still, you can feel everytime he leaks inside of you, his precum warm and sticking to your walls.
“Mmh, that’s good. You’re doing so good.” Riki praises, squeezing your wrists, his cock pulses and his hip twitch just a tiny bit, making him just as disobedient as you were. “Fuck, she feels so tight ‘round me.”
Something starts building in the pit of your stomach, you don’t even know why or how, but it just does. Your thighs quiver and your forehead drops to his shoulder once again, your mouth parted in a silent moan. But Riki doesn’t let you, he cups your face and forces you to look at him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“Nuh-huh, eyes on me.” he coos, stroking your flushed cheek while one hand still secures your wrists. “You’re such a mess, that pussy’s squeezing me so tight. Look at you, dripping all over.”
Riki pushes your chin down and makes you look at where you’re connected, he brings his hand there and collects the slick that’s coating his pelvis, fingers shiny. “She’s soaked, I should fuck her now, don’t you think? What if I just…” he bucks his hips, tip hitting your g-spot until you moan in pleasure. “… do this a couple times and leave her there shaking?”
He seems to react to whatever the man says on the phone—which you just don’t hear because apparently you have selective hearing—and he abruptly stops. You whine in frustration, rocking just a bit on his lap to find some sort of friction, but there’s just his heavy cock stretching you out and pulsing inside you.
“Please,” you whimper, “please, I need it.”
Riki squeezes your wrists unmoving and he kisses your collarbone, “You’re gonna have it when he decides baby. I don’t make the rules.”
You clench around him, the whatever that was building in your lower stomach intensifying everytime he opens his filthy mouth, you wanna hit him, make him fuck you senseless until you don’t even remember which day it is, but you can’t do shit. If the client weren’t there you would’ve already rode his cocky ass into tomorrow.
But it gets to a point where it’s just too much, your pussy grips him times and times again, almost in a rhythm, which makes his tip brush against your spot and your eyes roll back. You don’t even have to rock your hips to feel some sort of dizzying friction, and it seems like Riki’s understood it too, the way his cock twitches and his balls draw up. He hisses when you squeeze particularly hard and his eyes squeeze shut in agony.
“She’s gonna come without me even moving, I don’t have any room she’s squeezing so tight,” Riki tells the customer, then he looks at you and speaks, “I bet you’d sound so pretty if I could just fuck you properly, wouldn’t you?”
The next second, you feel his cock throb violently and his lips meet your neck, smugness all gone, “fuck, stop squeezing or I’m gonna cum baby.”
You whimper, a useless string of ‘please, please please’ coming out of your mouth and you clasp your hands together while he still holds them.
“Stay still,” the customer says, panting. “Both of you.”
You nod even though he can’t see you, but you’re so close it hurts. You pant, walls milking Riki’s cock as he fights it himself, sucking a spot in your neck. It’s too much, you try not to, but it just comes unbidden, you clench one last time, the head of his cock against your cervix, and your back arches.
“Fuck, I can’t—” you moan, eyes shut and head thrown back. Riki instantly looks at you, mesmerized, and he thrusts the tiniest bit to chase the friction. “I can’t..”
You come apart, your hips twitching over and over as you fight not to bounce on him. The lack of movement makes your climax feel denser, heavier, like it has nowhere to go except deeper into your body. You shake through it staying still, every pulse of your orgasm squeezing down on the hard length that refuses to move, until you’re left trembling and oversensitive with him still buried inside you, unmoving, as if nothing’s happened.
“That’s it, it’s okay. Fuck… she came so hard, didn’t even do anything,” Riki groans, hips stuttering, but before the customer can say anything he leans to your ear and whispers, “get off, i’m so close pretty.”
You shake your head, and when he releases your wrists you moan in contentment, “can I make him cum?” you ask the man on the phone.
He replies with a breathy voice, “Yes go ahead,”
So you take your cue, you brace yourself on his shoulders and when you start moving your own body screams in pleasure, everything sensitive. Riki throws his head back in a groan and his cock nearly slips out with how wet you are. When only the tip remains inside of you, you drop back down on his lap.
“Oh fuck—” Riki moans, gripping your ass, hips, anything.
He watches you through hooded eyes as you fuck yourself on his cock, his orgasm closer and closer, “I’m gonna come, doll. Just—get off.”
You shake your head once again, pressing little kisses to his shoulder as you bounce on his cock, “I’m clean and I’m on birth control,”
Riki groans, as if relieved he’s not gonna have to pull out and he bucks his hips, meeting your movements. “Fuck…you’re gonna—ah shit, keep going baby.”
You follow his lead, and a couple of bounces later, Riki’s cock is throbbing and the phone, which had been sitting on the arm of the armchair, almost falls. You scramble to grab it and hold it between the two of you, because he didn’t even notice, too fucked out to care. A string of ‘fuck fuck fuck’ comes out of his mouth and his hips stutter, his fingers digging into your flesh.
His stomach tightens under you and a broken sound leaves his throat. It’s a sign Riki’s control is fraying. You feel his cock swell even thicker inside you, the head pressing hard against that spot that makes your thighs shake and his grip on you tightens.
“Fuck—don’t stop,” he manages, voice rough. “Just like that—”
Before you or he knows it, he’s cumming.
Riki’s whole body goes rigid underneath you. A raw, punched-out sound tears out of his throat as his cock starts pulsing hard inside you—sticky surges of heat flooding deep. You can feel every spurt, the way his cock kicks and throbs while he empties into you. Riki’s hands clamp down on your hips hard enough to hurt, holding you flush against him so he can keep pumping cum as deep as possible. His thighs are shaking, his stomach is clenched and you feel he’s still trying to thrust up into you even while he’s coming desperate little movements that force every drop further inside.
Riki looks wrecked. Eyes half-lidded, mouth open, chest heaving, but his hands are still gripping you, unwilling to move even just a bit.
There should be a study on how greedy a girl can be, because the second you receive a text from Sunoo a couple days later, saying ‘tomorrow night is club night’ you reply without a second thought.
You’re not exactly planning on getting laid again—not that you’ve had your fill with Riki—you’re just looking to go out and party. But, if the opportunity presents itself you won’t decline, that’s for sure. You’re not sure why, but the scenario you fall asleep with doesn’t involve any handsome stranger on the dance floor. It’s involuntary but you can’t help but think about Riki, about Jungwon in the elevator, Jake in the booth, Sunghoon and Heeseung. Even Jay—if you’re being honest—but you wouldn’t actually go there, he’s your boss.
A little imagination doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s fine.
But is it crazy to be this level of greedy and imagine stuff with 5 different men?
Whether you’re thinking about them individually or not is irrelevant, but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be ashamed to indulge in your filthy thoughts.
Things have been going smooth over at Hotline 1OO9. You like that what happened with Riki hasn’t changed the atmosphere one bit, nothings awkward, you just have a nice little secret thing you two together.
You’ve never really talked about it, for you it was just part of the job, a ‘professional’ act heightened by obvious sexual frustration. You were just two ticking bombs waiting to go off, two consensual adults who took advantage of the circumstances.
It would be a lie to say it hasn’t happened again though.
Just the other day, you were walking past him in the empty break room and his fingers accidentally found your ass. He squeezed and you were a goner. You snuck in his pod and made out for god knows how long, dry humped like horny teens and you ended up on your knees sucking him off while he praised you.
You’ve found a new pleasant sense of reward in not being in control. You love it when Riki pulls your hair, calls you a good girl and slaps his dick on your tongue. It makes your stomach feel all warm and fuzzy when he says in that deep voice of his, “such a pretty girl on her knees for me like that.”
It would be a tremendous lie to say that you haven’t thought at least 20 times about the other day when in the break room, Riki sat next to you on the couch and slipped his hand on your thigh while everyone was talking.
It’s safe to say Sunoo and Jungwon noticed, then said something like, “In plain sight?” which made the others notice as well.
After all you were a group of shameless adults—the job had made you so unbothered about sex—so no one said anything about it. Sunghoon just winked exaggeratedly at Riki and Heeseung grabbed your other thigh in retaliation.
You fall asleep thinking about how it would feel to have them share you, as stupid as it sounds because you know it’s never gonna happen. You’ve read enough reverse harem books to know it sounds extremely pleasurable, you don’t have to choose and get a little taste of everything—a taste of five different worlds if you will.
When you think about it too deeply you feel like a whore so you just shake the thoughts aside and let sleep take you.
Come the next morning, you’re walking inside the office with a cookie jar and your purse. The cookie jar was your mom’s doing, she passed by a couple days ago and dropped them off, saying you should give some out to your colleagues. But because she thinks you still work at your old company—which is huge—she made 5 jars, so your kitchen counter is currently crowded with chocolate chip cookies.
You drop them on the coffee table in the break room and you immediately clock in with Jay. He’s wearing a crisp suit today, as per usual, and his hair is styled to perfection making him look like every woman’s dream.
“Good morning y/n.” he greets with a smile, “We got feedback on the website by the way. It was that guy from the call with Riki, he said you were awesome and recommended it. He even put heart emojis.”
You smile, “Morning sir, awesome news.”
Jay must notice how jolly you are because he asks, “What’s got you all smiley today?”
Pregnancy glow? Today’s lunch packed in your bag? What can you even say instead of the truth? It being that you’re a sexually pleased woman who’s gonna be even more sexually pleased tonight.
“Nothing sir, I’m always like that.” you shrug, smiling wider.
Your old boss’s email comes to your mind and you quickly shut up. Being notably not-smiley is what got you fired, so it’s best you refrain from speaking.
“When we first met you told me to fuck off and thought I was a scammer y/n, I don’t think you’re always like that.” Jay chuckles, going through paperwork like the busy man he is.
“Well yeah, but with all due respect boss, you sounded like a mix of that Squid Games recruiter guy and El professor in La Casa Del Papel.” you clutch your purse, half expecting him to get mad like your old boss would.
Instead he just chuckles, clearly agreeing. “I know, I did sound weird. But I’m glad you took the time to think about my offer and didn’t jump to conclusions. Now look at you, 20 requests a day, successful as ever.”
That you are. Now thanks to your critical thinking you can afford rent and not be worried about unemployment. And if someone has to say anything about your line of work they can go fuck off. You give Jay the brightest smile you can manage, “Thank you for not firing me because I don’t smile often sir.”
Jay laughs, a little confused but amused, “What? That’s not a reason to fire someone.”
And you’re sure if you had more money maybe you would’ve sued that damn company. There was always something a little fishy with that excuse anyways.
The day goes by fairly fast, you don’t even go out of your pod much because of how many calls you’ve been scheduled to today. Some are fine, some are weird but not a big deal because you get paid in the end.
Some guy called just to ask for sex advice, which you found particularly funny because not once did he initiate any type of conversation other than ‘how can I make my current girlfriend feel good?’ you gave him all you knew, tips and tricks and then hung up with an amused smile.
You ate lunch with your colleagues as usual, talked about inviting the boss to your little night out but opted not to because it was weird and probably unethical.
After eating you and Jungwon sat on the sofa and watched videos on his phone, your chin on his shoulder. He scrolled through his timeline and made occasional comments, looking at you from the corner of his eyes at times. When Jake came by, he sat next to Jungwon and adopted the same position you did, watching with the both of you.
But as soon as you heard the boss move in his office you straightened up and pretended to look at the wall, aware of how unprofessional it looked.
Jay came out and stopped right in the threshold, looking at you with raised eyebrows. “What’s with the faces? Break’s over in 20 folks.”
Dominated by the work system, you got up exactly twenty minutes later and got to work. Riki interrupted you a couple times, just “swinging by” as he said, to squeeze that ass he seemed to love, then walked back to his own pod like he’d accomplished his mission.
But the last time he did it—curtains be damned—Heeseung was walking by and saw everything. He didn’t make a big deal out of it, just snorted and said “sharing is caring man.”
You decided not to dwell on it because he was probably joking, but—surprisingly—there were a few instances of you imagining what ‘sharing’ implied.
The rest of the afternoon went by fast, and the next thing you knew you were clocking out, saying your farewells to no one but Park Jongseong who, unfortunately, wasn’t invited.
Your ass looks fabulous in your dress and everyone seems to think so too.
The way Jake looks at it says a lot actually, it’s like he’s seen a ghost, his eyes avert and his cheeks get red immediately like he’s judging himself for the thoughts he’s having.
Sometimes, if you’re being honest, you look at Jake and wonder how he does the job he does.
If you were to see him in the subway you’d think he works in engineering or teaches astronomy and only has sex once in a blue moon. But apparently the man does get laid, he’s just not cocky with it.
Riki, though, is plenty cocky. Once he gets a good look at your ass he gives it a squeeze, not really caring to be sneaky.
Haejin notices and points at him, “I knew you guys fucked.”
Jungwon and Heeseung snort. You’re waiting in line at the club entrance and you’re all pressed together along the wall, a thick cigarette smoke fog hovering over the crowd. Someone’s smoking cigarettes after cigarettes and it’s making your nose itchy.
“I swear to God if you’re greedy and wanna steal my hookup tonight I’ll make sure you get fired Rik.” Sunghoon points at him accusing.
One of his Riki’s hands goes to your lower back and he answers, “I’m good man, the club is all yours.”
It wouldn’t be Riki if his hand didn’t slip down to your ass for the nth time and squeezed. He then proceeds to lean down to your ear and whisper, “I’m hoping I get to take you home tonight.”
You snort, swatting his hand away playfully, “What if I want a change?”
Riki settles his hand on your hip this time as the line progresses, “Well I can share. How’s that for a change?” he smiles.
“You’re willing to share with a complete stranger?” Jungwon raises an eyebrow, leaning against the wall.
“I don’t know, any of you interested?” he looks around, expecting them to be grossed out.
When everyone raises their hand but Sunoo, you look surprised, and with filthy contempt, your mind files it as a very important information.
The latter looks at Haejin and raises an eyebrow, attempting to be secretive. As soon as he does that she drops her hand to the side and you pretend you didn’t see what happened.
“Well guess that settles it. Fill out forms and email them I guess.” Riki rolls his eyes, prentending to be jealous.
Sometime after, the bouncer finally lets you all in. You walk to the bar in a tight group and order a couple drinks to start the night. You don’t drink all that much so you get a single cocktail and decides it’ll be the last.
You all walk through the crowd, the speakers blaring ‘Kiss me thru the phone’, bodies are all pressed together, slick with sweat and you spot a few people making out savagely already.
Riki and Heeseung stay behind you all the time, like a fridge protecting its snack, and you notice Haejin’s pressed tightly to Sunoo’s chest. It’s not even a surprise when the slick bastard glares at a guy he’s caught looking at her.
Jungwon notices and looks back at you, amused, but neither of your say anything.
Once you’re deep inside the jungle of bodies you all stop. Sunghoon’s already looking around like he’s searching a prey and Jake’s eyeing the ceiling like he wants to go home.
So what better than to mess with him? You grab his arm and start dancing with him, trying to lighten him up a bit with a couple back and forth rocks to the beat of the music. He relaxes after a little bit and starts easing into it, hands coming up naturally to your hips as he smiles.
By the time the third song comes around, everyone’s having fun. Sunoo’s pressed up against Haejin, Sunghoon’s already found a girl to chat up and you’re still with Jake, only this time there’s Riki behind you and Jungwon on the side sipping on his drink. You’re boxed by them, grinding your ass shamelessly on Riki while Jungwon watches with a playful glint in his dark eyes and Jake quite literally endures, cheeks as red as wine. You make sure he’s not uncomfortable by asking him a couple times in his ear, to which he replies by getting even more flustered by your proximity.
But Heeseung’s nursing a drink—not at all unhappy—he’s wearing a dopey grin like he’s having the time of his life even though he’s not doing anything. You turn around to look, and reach for his arm, dragging him closer so he doesn’t feel left out. He holds onto Jungwon and starts dancing, moving his body to the bass boosted music. It would be a lie to say he’s not a bit drunk, his cheeks are flushed and he’s grinning like an idiot—even more than Jake usually is—he holds onto Won for dear life and nearly spills jis drink when someone passes by.
“Heeseung man we just got here like an hour ago.” Riki snickers, amused. “Get your shit together or you’re not gonna get laid tonight.”
He just beams, taking another sip and moving his hips, “Nopeeee, don’t care.”
Riki gets closer to you, pressing his front to your ass, indirectly pushing you closer to Jake and Jungwon in the process. It feels nice to be between all of them, especially the way Jake grips your hips and looks at you like you’ve hung the moon.
But soon after, Heeseung starts feeling dizzy and says he wants to grab some fresh air, and Won volunteers to go with him so he doesn’t stay alone. They slip out of sight and you’re left sandwiched between Jake and Riki’s bodies, the latter hardening almost imperceptibly against your ass.
It’s not even a surprise, you’ve noticed how high his stamina is, it’s like he’s always up for it, always ready to go. Jake’s a little further away, so you can’t exactly feel him, but it wouldn’t be a revelation if you were to find out he’s hard—it seems to be his default reaction, he even gets hard when he sees good food apparently.
When Sunghoon comes back, he looks defeated and points at the girl he was talking to, declaring, “She was trying to get over her ex and find someone to make a sextape with.” he sighs, “tonight’s not my night.”
“There’s plenty fishes in the sea,” Riki comforts him, gripping your lower back.
Sunghoon gets closer, taking the spot Jungwon vacated, “Only one fish I want anyway.” he looks at you when he says that, then back at Riki, “Where did Heeseung and Won go?”
Jake intervenes, “They’re outside to grab some air.”
“Bro, they can’t come back inside if they go out. Are they fucking stupid?” Sunghoon scoffs, looking around and squinting towards the exit.
At the same exact moment your phone buzzes in your purse, vibrating on your sides. You slip your hand inside and grab it, it’s Jungwon.
“Yo, no one’s picking up their phone. The bouncer won’t let us come in again.” you hear him, his voice muffled with the sound of the music.
And yes, that’s the story of how you all end up on the sidewalk, sitting side by side on a line just because the dumbfucks couldn’t ask the bouncer for information before going out. Heeseung’s been apologizing profusely and you tell him it’s not his fault everytime, that it’s all good and you were tired anyway.
News flash you weren’t, you were just getting started. But can’t win em all.
It’s quickly forgotten about when Heeseung suggests you all come to his place for some drinks. Everyone accepts happily, except well….Sunoo and Haejin who look at each other and clear their throats.
But before they can say anything, the party host scrambles towards them.
“Yes you guys can just go home and fuck like rabbits. Trust me we know.” he slurs on unsteady feet.
There’s a silence before everyone snorts including Haejin and Sunoo who instinctively get closer now that the ‘secret’s’ out.
“We all knew, you guys are obvious as fuck.” Sunghoon states, smiling widely.
You part your ways and head to Heeseung’s small apartment conveniently located a couple blocks away from the nightclub. The whole way Riki and Jungwon have to hold him so he doesn’t trip although he says he’s not that drunk. Once you’re in front of his building he struggles to get his keys out and Jake has to dig in his back pocket to find them. “Stop touching my ass man.” Heeseung giggles, swatting his hand away when he gets the keys out.
When he manages to open the door, Heeseung stumbles inside and calls the elevator. You look around at the group of men encircling you and feel like the world’s biggest slut, anyone who would see this would think you’re a total whore and whatever other prejudiced words they can come up with.
But in truth, you don’t really care all that much, you like being slutty at times, it’s fun and doesn’t harm the environment anyway.
When the doors open to the second floor, Jake already prepares the keys to open Heeseung’s door. He waits for him to sign which one is his and quickly works it open.
“I’m sorry for the mess,” Heeseung mumbles as he kicks off his shoes in the entryway. The apartment is spotless so you don’t even know what mess he’s talking about.
Probably the mess in your panties—
“Yeah you’re drunk man, go to sleep,” Riki chuckles, pushing him towards the hallway like he knows the house.
“I’m not even tired, gimme some water, I’ll just shower and sober up,” the man groans like a child, holding onto the wall.
You grab the first bottle water of bottle you see on the kitchen counter and uncap it, handing it to him. When you realize he’s not even gonna be able to drink it, you push it to his mouth, one hand cupped under his chin and you tilt the bottle. Heeseung’s heavy eyes are on you while he drinks. “So pretty,” he mumbles when he’s done, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Yeah, get line,” Jungwon pushes him playfully.
Riki escorts him to bed, but not before Heeseung makes a point of kissing your cheek and exclusively telling you goodnight. You pat his hair and watch him get carried away to his bedroom with a fond smile.
“Alright let’s see where he keeps his booze,” Sunghoon starts looking through his friend’s drawers, in the kitchen too. When he finally finds his stash of alcohol he holds a bottle of vodka to his chest. “This motherfucker only has cheap stuff.”
“That’ll do,” Riki snatches the bottle from him when he comes back, one hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer.
Once seated on the couch, you all get comfortable, Sunghoon props his socked feet on the coffee table ontop of Hee’s electricity bills and yawns as he stretches. Jake finds the fluffy armchair in the middle of the living room while you sit between Jungwon and Riki and uncap the vodka bottle, pouring it in little plastic cups they’ve found in the kitchen. You hand them to the four boys, not in the mood to drink yourself. Riki drops a kiss yo your cheek as a thank you, obviously mocking Heeseung earlier.
“It’s a fail for everyone except those bastards Haejin and Sunoo,” Sunghoon sighs into his cup, emptying it in seconds.
His arms flex as he puts it on the coffee table and you find yourself looking at his biceps, or him in general. The way his body is sculpted, the shape of his broad shoulders, everything looks good—it’s something he has in common with the three other boys, they’re all equally handsome everywhere.
“Speak for yourself,” Riki mutters, eyes bored on the side of your face, one hand on your thigh. When you turn to look at him he smirks, emptying his cup in one gulp.
“Yeah just go ahead and fuck right then and there you bastards,” Sunghoon groans, frustrated.
“You’re jealous as fuck Hoon,” the boy holding your thigh teases, shooting him a playful look. “Should‘ve gone with the sextape girl.”
“I’d rather choke, I’lll just live vicariously through you man, it’s okay.” he cringes at the thought, dusting off his perfectly clean t shirt.
There’s a silence before you decide to be extremely unhinged. You turn to look at Sunghoon through your lashes and you joke, “Don’t you want the real thing?”
There’s a long moment. You think you’ve said something dumb when you see Sunghoon’s mouth open and close, but when he presses his palms to his face and groans you melt in your seat. “Don’t say that y/n.” he breathes out, a little desperate in all honesty.
“What’s wrong with what she said?” Riki teases, a smug smile on his face as he squeezes your thigh.
Jake looks at you from the armchair, shifting in his seat, he looks like he’s heard the craziest thing ever, his boba eyes widening by the second. Jungwon’s also gazing thoughtfully at you, like he’s trying to figure out if you’re joking or not. Although you originally were, their reaction only fuels the inner monologue you’ve been having these days, until you’re not entirely sure you’re fooling around anymore.
“Did you even hear her man??” Sunghoon replies, man spreading on the couch like he owns it. “Y/n you can’t be saying that. It’s not even funny.”
“I wasn’t even joking though,” you shrug, looking at him innocently, although the smirk on your mouth tells a whole different story.
Riki cups your chin and tilts your head towards him, eyes already zeroing in on your lips. His tongue darts out to wet his own, plump lips parting and lower one going between his teeth.
“Don’t even bother, I think he doesn’t want to,” he teases, giving Sunghoon a taunting look before focusing back on you. “I’ll take care of you baby, how’s that sound?”
You swear you hear Jake’s hitch from his spot but before you can turn your head to verify, Riki wraps a hand around your neck and pulls you closer until his lips are merely inches away from yours. The bastard looks you right in the eye and gives you that haunting playful smirk before he dives in. His lips melt into yours and without giving it much thought he parts them, tongue slipping in your mouth in a filthy kiss. Riki’s fingers tighten around your neck, making it a point to make you moan for him, so his friends can only marvel at the sight. You gasp into the kiss, tongue dancing with his, all the while his other hand snakes down to your hips and tugs you closer, almost on his lap.
You couldn’t even hear the rest of the world if you wanted, your ears ringing with how bad you want this. It feels exhilarating to know you’re being watched, three pairs of eyes burning into your skin from all sides of the room. It only seems to pump Riki meaner, his hand squeezing your throat until you’re dizzy and moaning into the kiss, it’s the perfect amount of pressure, not too much just enough to render you a mess.
“Sound so fucking pretty,” Riki rasps as he lets go of your lips and finds a spot on your neck to suck on.
Your eyes open and you find all three men staring right at you, as expected. Jake’s frozen, his mouth slightly ajar and his hands gripping the leather of the armchair. Sunghoon doesn’t have his hands on his face anymore, he’s got them gripping his thighs, jaw clenched. And Jungwon looks wrecked, the paper cup crumpled in his hand as he fights the urge to reach and join.
When Riki sucks a dark spot in your neck, your lips part and the moan you let out makes all three boys tense in their seats. “That’s right baby, let them hear.” you feel Riki’s smirk against your skin.
“You’re not playing fair man,” Jungwon groans, captivated by the sound of your pleasure.
Riki let’s go of your skin with a wet pop, “What do you think baby, am I being fair?”
You smile dizzily, “I did tell Sunghoon he could have the real thing and he didn’t even answer, so I guess you’re being fair.”
The latter instantly protests, “I thought you were joking y/n, I didn’t think you—”
You cut him by getting up on wobbly feet and making it in front of him, before he even knows what’s happening you’re climbing on his lap. “This okay?” you whisper in his ear as you fully settle, legs bracketing his.
When his arms instantly wrap around you, the answer is made clear. Sunghoon nods, looking at you like a divinity, “Could’ve already been doing this a long time ago.” he states, pulling closer until youre snug right against his core.
“You should’ve said something then,” you smile against his jaw then nip at his earlobe until he shivers. You feel the other men’s eyes on your body as you start moving in Sunghoon’s lap, grinding down on the front of his pants. “Should’ve kissed me right on the break room couch that other day.”
Sunghoon lets out a breathy laugh, gripping your hips as he fights for his composure, he’s about to say something but Jungwon beats him to it, “You had a chance and fucked it up, how stupid can you be.”
With his foot, Sunghoon kicks the other man’s leg, trying to focus solely on your beautiful face, “As far as I know you didn’t make a move either.”
“He’s right, you should have too,” you lean towards Jungwon, still on his friend’s lap, and you catch his expecting lips in a kiss.
He tastes like vodka when his tongue slips into your mouth. He’s a messy kisser, all tongue and teeth, biting your lip occasionally. You feel Sunghoon’s cock throb in his pants and moan into Jungwon’s mouth at the feeling.
“Jake man, come closer. Come watch her.” Riki tells him, beckoning with a curled finger.
You hear him get up before he takes the spot you vacated earlier, eyes a physical weight on your body. Sunghoon bucks his hips to remind you of whose lap you’re on, his hands come down to your ass, wanting you so much closer than humanly possible and your reply by rocking your hips on him, indulging in the friction. It feels so good, Jungwon’s tongue caressing yours, Sunghoon’s thick cock practically begging to be taken out and the other boys looking like they don’t wanna miss a single second of it.
When you break the kiss, your lips are connected to his by a string of saliva that breaks when you look at Jake, beckoning him closer. He stands up ever so obediently and walks over to you. From where you sit you have to look up at him, the sight only making the problem in his pants harder, you trace a path up his thighs and cups him through his pants. “Gimme kiss,” you practically purr.
Jake nearly folds like trash origami, his hips buck to meet your hand and when you finally kiss him he melts. You go slower with him, tongue grazing his in a tantalizing way, you give his clothed cock a squeeze and he whimpers in your mouth, needy as ever. When you break the kiss he chases your lips, cheeks a deep red and lips shiny.
“Sit down and watch.” you order, not even doubting he’ll do as he’s told.
When Jake sinks down to the floor, you look at the man whose lap you’re sitting on and grin, wiggling on his aching dick. Sunghoon’s eyes follow your wandering hands as you cup him through his pants and tug at the zipper, when asked he lifts up his hips and lets you take his cock out. His is incredibly thick, smaller than Riki’s but impossibly thick you’re sure your fingers wouldn’t fully touch if wrapped around it. To test that theory you put you grab him and it’s with no surprise that you note your fingers don’t touch around the base.
“Can’t even wrap my hand around it Hoonie,” you say in a small voice, giving him a light stroke that makes his hips jolt. You take his own hand in yours and bring it to his leaking cock. “Show me how you do it.”
To your side, Riki and Jungwon are breathing harder, the latter palming the bulge in his jeans, both their eyes stuck on you like you’re some sort of succubus. But when Sunghoon’s hand wraps around his cock, it’s Jake who nearly whimpers. You look over to him and cup his chin, pulling him closer so he can get a better view. “You wanna see so bad baby?”
Jake nods vehemently and swallows hardly, “You look so pretty like that,”
You lean back and drop a kiss to his lips, licking them while you get back to Sunghoon. He’s steadily pumping himself now, fingers on his balls while he thrusts in the crease between his thumb and pointer finger. “Fuck,” he groans, “put your hand on me.”
You cover his own hand with yours, tightening his grip on his cock and move it up and down, guiding the friction. You collect the precum with your palm and use it as lubricant for your strokes. Sunghoon focuses on the base while you pump the tip, your hands slick and meeting each time you glide. It’s filthy—even more so when you spit on his tip and his cock twitches, his head throwing back in utter agony. You use your saliva and tighten your grip, thumb rubbing his head while the other works with his own. Riki’s unbuckled his jeans by now, palming himself while patiently waiting for his turn.
“F-fuck,” Sunghoon pants, a slave to his pleasure now. “Jungwon come here, use her mouth”
His friend gets up as quickly as possible and travels to the side of the couch where he stands, gaze bored on your hand working. “Cmere baby, open up,” he encourages as his thumb settles on your lower lip, pushing past it.
You lick around his thumb, suckling as your hand goes faster on Sunghoon’s cock. Jungwon hums in admiration as his other hand quickly undoes his jeans and lets them drop to his knees. “You’re gonna be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth now, okay?” he taunts, boxers tugged down as well.
Jungwon’s cock is long, a thin patch of hair leading from his lower stomach to it, and it stands proudly, leaking so much that’s it’s made a stain on his boxers. When you nod, he doesn’t seem to think it’s enough and shakes his head disapprovingly.
“What did I teach you baby?” Riki intervenes, delivering a light slap to your ass. “You gotta use your words.”
You nod again, a soft ‘yes’ coming out of your parted lips. Sunghoon practically thrusts into his and your hand, making a mess of precum on his stomach. But before you can even wipe it off, Jungwon presses his cock against your lips, rubbing his own precum all over them until they look plump and like you’ve put gloss on. The moment he pushes his dick past your lips, you swear you feel Sunghoon’s heartbeat in his cock. Airs gone rancid by now, all three of them watching Jungwon’s length fit perfectly inside your mouth, his breathing hacking out wet.
“Mmh, fuck… look at you baby, look at those pretty lips,” he groans, cupping your face almost tenderly if it wasn’t for the other hand tangling in your hair and pulling slightly.
Your eyes roll back behind your closed lids and you suck him in, hollowing out your cheeks before letting him go with a pop and resuming with messy licks. You practically makeout with his tip, suckling on it, licking each and every side until his thighs tense, you don’t stop until the room fills with filthy sounds. Your fingers keep working Sunghoon’s dick all the while, tangling with his own in a wet mess under Riki’s approving gaze.
“Look at you…” he hums, sneaking behind you to drop a kiss on your bare shoulder. His tongue traces a path up to your neck and sucks a dark spot, causing you to moan around Jungwon’s tip. “You’re so good at this, look at Sunghoon baby, he’s gone already.”
Your eyes find him below you, his head is thrown back, eyes wild and wanton, hand working through his own pleasure like he’s drunk on it. Jungwon’s hips shift until he’s practically fully sheathed in your mouth, regaining your attention. He tugs at your hair—noticing how eager you get when he does it—and one of his hands goes to your ass so he can lift up the hem of your dress. He smirks at Jake who—if he’s being honest—feels terribly lonely on the floor, and delivers a sharp smack to your bare ass.
Jake watches the flesh move with the echo of Jungwon’s slap and fights to not burry his face in between your sweet thighs. You swallow around the man’s cock, a ring of saliva forming and dripping down your chin, making a proper mess of your collarbone in the process, Riki resumes his his taunting kisses on your neck and one hand comes to squeeze that ass he loves so much.
He hooks a finger in your thong, tugs at it only to watch it snap back in place, “Such a pretty ass, you’re just pretty all over aren’t you?”
Riki’s mouth travels up to your jaw and cheek, and when he gets close enough, he licks around your mouth to clean the mess of saliva you’ve made. Jungwon actually freezes for a second, seeing how close he is to his dick, but the low groan he emits says a lot about how he feels.
“Messy girl,” the youngest teases, licking his own lips while stroking your ass cheek. You’re so lost in pleasure you start rocking your hips against Sunghoon’s thighs, which he notices by the way his breathing gets shallower and his mouth hangs open.
Your mouth leaves Won with a pop and you look back at Jake, miserably sitting on the floor, gazing up at you like admiring a painting. “You can touch me baby, go ahead.” you tell him, lips curling into a cheeky smile.
It doesn’t take more than a millisecond for his hands to be on your ass along with Riki’s. Jake kisses his way up your spine, sending shivers all over you body, he traces every ridge of every bone and makes it a point to let you know you are beautiful and wanted. Your head lolls, fingers loosing cadence on Sunghoon’s cock—but fear not, he wraps his own around yours and guides them up and down the slick length with a low groan.
“Can I taste you, please?” Jake looks up at you with those boba eyes and those thick lashes, “Let me make you feel good.”
You suddenly get up off of Sunghoon’s lap, leaving him breathless, cock twitching and eyebrows furrowed, Jungwon’s stroking himself lazily, watching your every move. When you sink down on the floor and push Jake to a lying position, Riki hums approvingly.
You straddle his lap, your lips find his chest and place sparse tender kisses all the way to his pale neck, you only give him a taste of your mouth before shifting. The man waits with wide eyes that get even wider the second your thighs bracket his face, but when you’re done hovering and sit down, Jake whimpers. You settle your your full weight down onto his mouth, his nose is buried against your clit, his lips sealed around you, and every time he exhales you feel the warm rush of his breath against your soaked cunt.
You’re dripping onto his tongue, you feel it all over, your thong when Jake pulls it aside and it hits your skin. You look up at the others, quite proud of the hold you seem to have on them, and you beckon Riki to come closer. He doesn’t even wait, he knows exactly what’s his to take and so in a swift movement, his pants are discarded on the floor along with his calvin kleins.
“That’s my girl,” he breathes out, one hand twisting your hair in a loose ponytail. His cock throbs at the sight of you on your knees and just as he’s about to press it to your lips, you lift a finger.
It’s a shameless move, and you’re not sure how you’re going to manage but you call Sunghoon over. He rises from the sofa like he’s been waiting for the invitation, cock still flushed and shiny from your earlier attention, the head glistening as he steps closer. Riki’s grip in your hair tightens just enough to tilt your face up, and the second Sunghoon is within reach you open your mouth for him.
He slides in slow, letting you feel every thick inch while Jake’s tongue works greedily beneath you. It’s so tantalizingly good that every part of you is set aflame, the heavy length of Sunghoon stretching your lips while Jake’s mouth seals tighter around your cunt, nose pressed firm against your clit. You moan around the cock in your mouth and the vibration makes Sunghoon’s hips stutter.
“Fuck,” he breathes, one hand coming to rest at the back of your head. “Look at you go…”
Riki watches with pleased eyes, still stroking himself slowly beside you. Jungwon has moved closer too, standing just off to the side, fist wrapped loosely around his cock as he drinks in the sight of you—mouth full, ass still marked faintly from earlier. You love it, you’ve never felt so full—albeit technically totally empty.
Jake’s hands come up to grip your hips, pulling you down harder onto his tongue and he licks into you like he’s starving for it in messy strokes that make your thighs tremble. Every time you rock forward to take Sunghoon deeper, you grind down onto Jake’s face, smearing yourself across his mouth and chin. He loves it though, you can see his hips buck in the air, waiting for some kind of friction.
You pull off Sunghoon’s cock just long enough to catch your breath, a string of saliva still connecting your bottom lip to the head. “Don’t just stand there,” you tell Jungwon, voice rough. “Come here.”
Needless to say he steps in immediately. You wrap your free hand around him, stroking in time with the way you sink your mouth back down onto Sunghoon and Riki’s fingers stay twisted in your hair, guiding the rhythm.
The latter leans in close to your ear, “You’re soaking him, baby. Poor Jake can barely breathe and he’s still trying to get his tongue deeper.” He nips at your earlobe. “You gonna come on his face while you’ve got Sunghoon’s cock down your throat?”
The words send a violent pulse straight between your legs. Jake moans against you like he heard them too, the sound vibrating through your cunt, and your thighs tighten around his head. Sunghoon’s breath is getting ragged above you, every time you hollow your cheeks he curses under his breath like he’s about to combust.
Jungwon’s hand covers yours on his cock, showing you the exact pace he wants, the exact twits of your hand he prefers, while his other hand reaches down to squeeze your breast through the half-open dress. You’re surrounded—mouths and hands on every side—and the only thing you can do is take it.
You roll your hips harder against Jake’s face, chasing the building pressure, and he answers by sucking your clit between his lips and flicking his tongue against it in quick strokes.
The pleasure coils tight and low in your stomach, and you’re not even sure when was the last time you’ve felt so good. You’re so close it almost hurts —thighs shaking, breath coming in sorts of short gasps around the cock in your mouth.
As for Sunghoon, he’s been hard for so long already, twitching against your tongue every time you hollow your cheeks, and you can taste how close he is. His hand tightens at the back of your head, hips starting to push forward in these little aborted thrusts like he can’t help it anymore.
Riki’s still got your hair in his fist, watching everything with that smug smirk. “Look at Sunghoon,” he murmurs against your ear, “he’s been leaking since you first touched him. Poor thing’s about to lose it.”
You moan around the cock in your mouth and the vibration makes Sunghoon’s whole body jolt. You can tell he wants to say something to Riki, prideful as always, but he’s cut short by the force of his pleasure. Jake’s hands squeeze your thighs harder, pulling you down so his nose is crushed against you, tongue fucking into your cunt like he’s trying to get every drop. The pressure on your clit is perfect and so constant that you feel the coil in your stomach snap.
Your thighs shake hard around his head as you come, grinding down onto his mouth with broken little whimpers that vibrate around Sunghoon. They all watch you with hooded eyes, mesmerized while you’re dripping onto Jake’s tongue, pulsing against his lips, and he just keeps licking through it like he doesn’t need air. The pleasure rolls through you in heavy waves, making your fingers tighten around Jungwon and your throat flutter around Sunghoon.
That’s what pushes the latter over.
“Oh fuck, y/n…” he groans, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, “I’m gonna—”
He curses under his breath, hips stuttering, and then the next you know he’s cumming hard down your throat with hot pulses that you have to swallow around because he’s buried so deep. His hand fists in your hair, holding you there while he empties into your mouth, dick throbbing heavily against your tongue. You can feel how much he’s been holding back, the way every spurt seems to drag another wrecked sound out of him.
Jake, him, is still lapping at you through the aftershocks, messy and eager as usual, while Riki strokes himself faster at the sight of Sunghoon’s hips jerking and your throat working. Jungwon’s breathing is ragged beside you, watching his friend’s face like it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
When you finally pull off Sunghoon’s cock a string of saliva and cum connects your bottom lip to the head, and he looks completely gone—eyes an endless pit of darkness, mouth hanging open.
Riki laughs quietly, thumb brushing the corner of your messy mouth. “Good girl,”
But nobody had time to say anything or resume any movement because it suddenly comes to your attention that someone is standing at the door.
“Why does everyone always leave me out of things?” says a tired voice.
Heeseung has his fists clenched like a little kid getting out of bed to warn his parents he threw up, he glares at the boys but his eyes soften once he sees you still sitting on his friends face like it’s the most normal thing.
“You were drunk, man.” Riki clarifies, his cock lying untouched on his stomach.
“Couldn’t have you waited until I sobered up? Oh my god, in my own apartment bro.” the man groans, pointing to himself, “I’m sober now, i slept it off.”
“I don’t think it works like that man,” Jake says, muffled from under your cunt. You quickly get off him, wiping the cum from off your mouth. “I’m pretty sure it takes like 8 hours to sober up.”
Heeseung pulls out his phone while everyone sits back down, you put your dress back on your ass and sit on the floor, stroking Jake’s thigh. “Let’s fact check then, motherfucker. Cause I feel pretty sober right now seeing you guys leave me out like that.”
He does a quick google search, eyebrows raised like he’s sure he’s gonna make a point, and once he has the answer he says, “Hah. See?” he holds out his phone presenting a random page about alcohol and consent. “Nobody even asked me if I consented to it, you guys just did your thing without me. How sad is that.”
You snort, amused, and grab his phone to scroll down the article, your eyes quickly scanning the words. “I mean, he doesn’t seem confused, he’s not slurring, or behaving unusually.” you turn to him, “Do you want to join?”
Heeseung nods avidly, hair bouncing with the force of his agreement. But you cock your head, “Are you sure?” you ask him, “Spell my name backwards then count to 20.”
Jungwon chuckles, sitting next to Riki, and he watches with amusement as the former drunk spells your name backwards perfectly and counts to twenty.
Heeseung still looks a little wounded even after doing it without a single stumble, so you decide right then you’re going to make it up to him. You signal him with a tilt of your chin toward the couch and he sits without question, thighs spreading just enough for you to drop to your knees between them.
You lean in slow, nuzzling the soft skin of his inner thigh first, then higher, mouthing over the thick outline trapped in his pants. When you finally free him, the head is already shiny and leaking, it makes you wonder how long he’s truly wanted this. You take your time, tongue flattening against the underside in lazy strokes before you finally sink down, lips stretching around him.
Heeseung’s hand finds the back of your head almost immediately, fingers threading into your hair, not to push, just holding on like he needs the anchor. His breath keeps hitching every time you hollow your cheeks and drag up slow, the way he looks at his friends says a lot about how good this feels for him.
Jake drops onto the couch right next to him, close enough that their shoulders brush and their knees knock. But you’re so focused on the wet slide of your mouth that you almost miss the moment their faces tilt toward each other. It starts as a brush of lips, hesitant and questioning, then deeper, tongues meeting. You don’t even notice how it starts, but the next thing you know, they’re fully going at it, tongue and all.
The second they realie what they’re doing, though, they jerk apart like they’ve been burned, eyes wide, both of them flushing hard.
Jungwon’s already there, one hand on the back of each of their necks, shoving their heads together again with zero hesitation.
“Who the fuck cares if you’re boys,” he says, voice low and amused, “just kiss each other.”
You moan around Heeseung’s cock at the sight, the vibration making him twitch hard against your tongue. Jake’s cock is still untouched in his pants, a heavy line straining the fabric, but Heeseung’s hand is already there, palm rubbing over it through the material while they kiss again, messier this time, like the words unlocked something.
Heeseung doesn’t last. You feel the warning pulse, the way his thighs tense under your palms, and then he’s spilling across your tongue with a broken sound, hips stuttering. You suspect the sensations were only heightened by the feeling of Jake’s tongue and that makes your thighs squeeze together. He cradles your cheek after, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth where a little cum has escaped, eyes soft and a little dazed as he watches you swallow.
Nishimura Riki’s been quiet long enough.
“My turn,” he announces, sitting on the floor and offering you a hand. He makes a whole show of it—turning you so everyone can see, peeling the dress up your body inch by inch like he’s unwrapping something expensive, then hooking his fingers in the thin strings of your thong and dragging it down your legs so slowly it almost hurts.
When you’re bare he pulls you into his lap, ass up and facing the others so you’re presented to the room.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, hands spreading you open for them. “So fucking pretty like this.” He spits, the warmth landing right on your cunt, then uses two fingers to smear it around, circling your clit before pushing inside slow. “Already dripping for us again. Taking it so well.”
The others are stroking themselves while they watch—Sunghoon and Jungwon on either side, Jake and Heeseung still half-tangled. It’s no surprise when you notice Heeseung’s hand now fully inside Jake’s open fly, working him slow and unashamed. Riki keeps fingering you, dirty little praises spilling out under his breath, spreading your cheeks until you have to brace on the floor, face down.
A couple minutes after he’s lifting you like a ragdoll, both hands under your arms as he makes you straddle him, he finally lines up but only then does it occur to him how irresponsible this is.
“Condom?” he asks Heeseung, snapping his fingers at him.
The bastard doesn’t even hear, too engrossed in Jake’s kisses, his hand wrapped around his cock tugging lazily. Riki throws a discarded pillow at him, and his head snaps up.
“Condom man.” he repeats.
Quickly, Heeseung finds a stash of condoms in his cabinets and throws one at his friend who diligently tears it open and puts it on. You line yourself with his length and wrapping your arms around his neck you rub your sopping cunt against his tip. “Tssk, stop moving baby, you know how I get when you tease.” Riki warns with a click of his tongue.
When he sinks in in one long thrust, Riki doesnt even give you time to adjust, he grips your hips and guides you into a steady ride.
“Fuck… that’s it, mama. You gonna ride me like you did last time in the phone booth?” he rasps.
Sunghoon’s head snaps up, “You fucked in the pods???”
Riki only chuckles smugly and bucks up hard enough to punch a moan out of you, “and she liked it, didn’t you baby?” he squeezes your cheeks together and plants a kiss on your mouth.
“Mmh, yes.” you whimper mindlessly, just enjoying yourself, eyes closed with abandon.
You feel Sunghoon and Jungwon move closer, so you do what a professional multitasker does, you take one in each hand, stroking them in time with the roll of your hips, then lean to the side to suck Sunghoon deep before switching to Jungwon, alternating until your jaw aches in the best way. Riki just keeps thrusting up, filling you perfectly, hands roaming your waist, your tits, your throat until there’s no part of you left untouched.
Jake and Heeseung are practically seconds away from fucking—the latter has Jake’s cock fully out now, stroking him while they kiss like they’re starving, both of them flushed and clearly a lily embarrassed about how far they’ve gone. You catch Jake’s eye over your shoulder and smile, voice rough from the cock previously in your mouth.
“There’s no judgment here. Go ahead. I know you want it, Jakey.”
It acts as some sort of approval for him because the next second he’s out eating Heeseung’s mouth again. You start riding Riki faster, hips snapping down harder, chasing the thick stretch of him.
But all the while, your eyes stay locked on Heeseung and Jake—watching the way their hands wrap around each other’s cocks, stroking in desperate rhythm while they keep kissing like they can’t stop. Every time their mouths meet you clench around Riki without meaning to.
He notices, ever so attentive.
Riki’s hands come up and grab your cheeks, squeezing them together so your lips pout, forcing you to look at him while he thrusts up to meet every drop of your hips.
“Look at you,” he groans, voice rough. “I can feel your cunt clench around me when they kiss. Dirty girl… does that turn you on?”
You nod desperately, a broken little sound escaping as he keeps fucking up into you. “I knew it. My dirty girl likes to watch, huh?” Riki rasps, fucking you stupid.
Jungwon’s already kneeling next to you, close enough that his breath hits your skin. He leans in and mouths at your neck, sucking soft marks while his hand works his own length in tight strokes—desperate for the release he’s been holding onto all night. His free hand finds your breast, thumb brushing over the nipple before he ducks lower and takes it into his mouth, sucking hard. His moans vibrate around your peaks, and your little sounds of pleasure only seem to pump him meaner, to the point where his teeth graze them now.
Riki’s thrusts turn sharper, angling just right, and the pressure builds too fast. You can’t even think, saliva gulped down in a mewl as he fills you over and over again. You moan his name over and over, gripping his arms, “Please, fuck.. Im so close, please.”
Your begging only entice him more, his hips n snap up until he’s grazing your cervix. Air’s gone thick with the stink of want, everyone caught up in some sort of trance.
Out of the blue, you find yourself coming for the second time that night with a shaky cry, walls fluttering and squeezing around him. The way you sound is enough to tip Jungwon over the edge as he spills hot across your thigh with a muffled groan against your tit, still sucking like he can’t let go.
You feel Riki empty inside the condom, gripping your ass and muttering your name again and again, mouth hanging open. He’s undoubtedly having one of the best orgasms he’s ever had, if he’s not counting the delicious one in the phone booth, that is.
Across the couch Heeseung and Jake follow almost at the same time, making each other come in a mess of wet kisses and shaky hands, both of them panting into each other’s mouths as they paint each other’s stomachs and fists.
Your legs give out, unable to catch up. You slump forward onto Riki’s chest, still so full of him, forehead mashed to his collarbone while he wraps both arms around you and holds you there. It’s almost tender if it wasn’t for the stench of sex and the loud panting of men.
“You did so good,” Riki murmurs into your hair, one hand stroking slow up and down your spine. “So fucking good for us.”
Everyone’s quiet for a minute, just catching their breath and their minds as well. Then there are gentle hands everywhere.
Jungwon wipes the mess off your thigh with careful fingers before pressing soft kisses along the same path. Sunghoon brings a warm cloth and cleans between your legs while Riki is still inside you, murmuring quiet praise the whole time. Heeseung and Jake lean in from either side, kissing your shoulders, your neck, the corners of your mouth, whispering how pretty you looked, how perfect you felt.
They take turns kissing your body like they’re worshipping every inch. It’s safe to say your body is sore, but your body could use more. That’s why even after witnessed them cleaning you up, you lift yourself off of Riki’s lap and walk over to Sunghoon.
“More,” you simply say against his chest.
And heck if he indulges.
rüe’s a/n : okay i’m sorry if it’s messy, took me a while to finish this one so the endings a bit rushed. reblogs and feedback is appreciated! 💗if the plots all over the place it’s cause it’s a smut originally so i didn’t really think about the plot that much. taglist: @waeclr @whymsikl
which one of them do you think y/n should go out with? unbiased😭
(박성훈) college au. professor!sunghoon × student!reader
“You’re mine now. . . My perfect little pet.”
synopsis: you are a university student completely obsessed with your professor, Park Sunghoon. From the very first lecture, you begin craving his rare words of praise. Soon you’re wearing tighter and shorter outfits just to catch his eye, all while secretly writing your most filthy and forbidden fantasies about him in your private notebook. Until one day, you accidentally leave that notebook behind and he finds it. Now Professor Park knows exactly how desperate you are for him — and he’s done holding back.
a/n: heyy!! this is my first post here, so I'm a bit nervous, but I hope you all like it. any feedback is welcome, I'd really appreciate it <3 happy reading.
comment here to join the tag list! .𝜗𝜚 ݁˖
You walk into the lecture hall on your first day of the semester and choose a seat near the exit because you’re not expecting anything special from an Advanced Ethics class—until the door opens and Professor Park walks in.
He looks almost too young to be a professor, yet he carries an intriguing air of authority. The moment he begins to speak, introducing the course in a low, calm voice, you’re instantly hooked. Something deep in your stomach twists with sudden heat.
You spend the entire class staring at him, barely able to take any notes. He doesn’t smile once during the introductory lecture, and there’s something magnetic about it. He doesn’t seem to care about being liked by his students—he’s simply there, doing his job with strict discipline.
You’ve never been attracted to a professor before, but there’s something about him that captivates you instantly. Maybe it’s the way his biceps flex when he gestures while explaining something, or the fact that he seems almost too cold and professional.
By the end of the class, you feel an intense wave of jealousy over the measured praise he gave to other students. You want him to praise you. You want him to notice you. You want to be his favorite student.
Later that same day, back in your dorm, you make your first diary entry about Professor Park:
"Today I met Professor Park and my God, he’s so attractive. The way his thick eyebrows furrow when he’s explaining something… it honestly got me a little wet. I’m going to try to get his attention in the next classes."
You start sitting in the front row from that day forward, taking real notes and listening attentively to everything Professor Park says.
Throughout the week, you write more entries in your diary:
"God, the way his voice drops when he’s explaining something… I keep imagining him using that same low tone while he tells me exactly what to do on my knees. His hands look so big, with those long fingers. I wonder how they would feel gripping my hips or squeezing my thighs…"
"I want him to bend me over the desk after everyone leaves, lift my skirt, and fuck me hard. I’d stay so quiet for him… or maybe he’d fuck me even harder if I moaned his name out loud? Either way, I just want his cock to stretch me open."
By the end of the first week, he already knows your name because you answer a question correctly in class, where he simply replies with a neutral "Correct," but it’s enough to make your stomach flip.
Still, you want more. Knowing your name isn’t enough — you need all of his attention. So you decide to try something new in the second week.
────────
You wake up earlier to put extra effort into your makeup and outfit. For your first attempt, you go for something natural — soft mascara, a light blush, and a touch of lip gloss. You pair it with a blouse with a subtle neckline and a medium-length skirt that falls just at your knees.
Sitting in the front row, you raise your hand several times, making intelligent and well-thought-out comments because you actually studied for it. When you do, you receive a "Good point" from him, accompanied by a small approving smile. It’s enough to make your heart race.
In the next class, you try a bolder look — eyeliner, a proper lipstick instead of gloss, and a bit of contouring. He glances at you during the lecture, but he doesn’t compliment you. His expression remains neutral. When you make another smart comment, he simply nods. The conclusion is clear: he prefers the natural look, so that’s what you stick with.
Now it’s time to experiment with clothing. The following day, you wear a revealing outfit — a blouse cut low enough to show your collarbones and a shorter skirt that reveals your thighs. Professor Park’s eyes linger a little longer on your cleavage and bare thighs. It’s not obvious, but you notice. Cleavage and shorter skirts seem to work better, so you start leaning into that.
You keep pushing yourself — spending hours studying, pouring everything into every assignment, arriving early to class in hopes of catching a moment alone with him, craving his praise like it’s oxygen. With each passing class, your blouses get tighter and your skirts get shorter, exactly the way he seems to like.
Your efforts are paying off. His compliments come more frequently now — "Well argued" and "You captured the theme perfectly" — making you press your thighs together under the desk.
During one lecture, you participate actively, offering solid arguments and sharp answers, earning even more praise from Professor Park. When the class ends, he stops beside your seat. His gaze drops to your breasts for half a second before returning to your face.
"You’re showing great improvement," he says.
It’s enough to leave you soaked.
That night, your diary entry is filled with need:
"He looked at my tits today. He really looked. God, I want him to praise me while he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me so tight I can barely breathe. I’d call him Daddy so easily — actually, that’s what I’m calling him from now on. I want to be Daddy’s favorite. I’d let him fuck my ass if that’s what it takes to be his good girl."
────────
After your morning class, you’re walking down the corridor when you spot him near the faculty offices, carrying a tall stack of papers and wearing glasses. Now you have a new fantasy — getting fucked by him while he’s wearing those frames.
You quicken your pace, pretending to be focused on something on your phone, and then "accidentally" drop your notebook right in front of him. "Oh no…"
You quickly drop to your knees, letting your short skirt ride up even higher. The view you give him is perfect: you on your knees, looking up with a submissive gaze, lips slightly parted, your breasts nearly spilling out of your low-cut blouse.
His crotch is right in front of your face. The fabric of his pants stretches tightly over the heavy outline of his bulge, the thickness clearly visible. This is exactly what you would see if you were sucking his cock. The fantasy of pulling that thick cock out and taking him down your throat while looking up at him with innocent eyes makes you shiver.
Professor Park makes no effort to help you up. He towers over you, his thick eyebrows furrowed in a rare expression of surprise on his usually neutral face. "Are you alright?" he asks.
Your eyes travel from the bulge right in front of you up to his face. You pick up the notebook and look up again from that perfect blowjob angle, whispering softly, "Yes, Professor. I’m just so clumsy sometimes."
For half a second, his gaze drops — taking in your glossy lips so close to his groin, the way your skirt has ridden up, and how your breasts look even more prominent from this angle. He clears his throat and forces his attention back to your face. "Be more careful next time."
You smile sweetly and finally stand up, tugging your skirt down even though it barely covers anything. "Thank you, Professor Park."
Your panties are soaked and your mouth is watering, the image of his bulge so close to your lips still burned into your mind.
He gives you one last lingering look before walking past you. If he had stayed even a second longer, you might have noticed the growing, hardening bulge in his pants.
That afternoon, you write in your diary:
"Holy fuck, I was literally on my knees right in front of him, exactly like I would be if I were sucking his cock. I wanted him to pull it out, grab my hair, and make me take every inch of that heavy length down my throat. I’m so wet just remembering how tall he looked standing over me. Please, Daddy… notice how desperate your good girl is."
────────
As the students begin to leave when the class ends, you deliberately take your time packing your things, hoping for another interaction with Professor Park. It works. He starts walking toward your seat and stops beside it.
"Miss, stay after for a moment," he says.
"Yes, sir," you reply. Your mind immediately wanders — imagining him locking the door, bending you over the desk, his strong arms pinning you down while his cock finally stretches you open as he calls you his "good girl."
Once the last students are gone, you walk up to him on shaky legs, your panties soaked and your nipples hard, clearly visible through the thin fabric of your tank top.
"Yes, Professor?" Your voice is soft and innocent, but your heart is pounding as hard as your clit. Please, touch me. Fuck me right here. I’ve been such a good girl for you, Daddy. The words echo loudly in your head.
His eyes meet yours before slowly drifting down, scanning you from head to toe. "I’ve noticed how much you’ve improved this semester, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to help one of the students who’s struggling. Sharing notes or a few short tutoring sessions would help a lot."
The disappointment hits you like a punch. You’re standing here dressed for him, dripping wet and trembling with need, and he’s asking you for academic favors. No locked door. No biceps wrapped around your throat while he fucks you hard. Just tutoring another student. "Of course, Professor Park. I’d be happy to help."
He gives a small nod. "Thank you. I’ll email you the details. Keep up the excellent work."
You linger for a few more seconds, hoping he’ll say something else, but he simply turns his attention back to the papers on his desk — clearly dismissing you.
While waiting for the email he mentioned, you write in your diary:
"He asked me to stay after class and I swore this was finally going to happen — that he was going to fuck me mercilessly on his desk, choking me between his biceps and calling me his good little girl, his desperate pet. But nothing happened and fuck, it’s driving me insane. I’m dressing like a slut for him and he still stays so cold and professional. Luckily, I don’t give up easily."
────────
You arrive early and take your usual seat in the front row. As soon as the lecture begins, you pull a cherry lollipop from your bag, unwrap it slowly, and bring it to your mouth. At first it looks innocent — but you make sure it’s anything but.
You suck on it gently at first, your tongue swirling around the shiny red head, then take it deeper, hollowing your cheeks slightly. Your eyes stay locked on him the entire time — watching the way his muscular arms move as he explains the material, the serious tone of his voice, and the way his thick eyebrows furrow in concentration.
Every time he turns toward your direction, you push the lollipop in and out between your lips in slow, suggestive movements, imagining it’s his cock instead. He pauses mid-sentence for half a second as his gaze fixes on your mouth, then smiles — flashing those sharp canines. Holy fuck. Your pussy throbs at the sight.
Feeling bold, you don’t stop. You lick the lollipop from base to tip with long, wet strokes of your tongue. Every time his eyes meet yours, you suck it deep while keeping eye contact.
When the lecture ends and most students leave, he looks straight at you while you’re still sucking on the lollipop and packing your things. "Miss, a word, please."
You stand up quickly and walk over to him, pulling the lollipop out slowly with a wet pop as you reach his desk. Your lips are glossy and shiny as you smile sweetly. "Yes, Professor?" You slip the lollipop back into your mouth while you wait for him to speak.
This time he doesn’t even try to hide it. His gaze drops to your glistening lips, then to your breasts — your hard nipples clearly visible through the thin tank top, no bra as usual. "Your latest essay was…" His eyes finally return to yours, a small mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Incredible."
"Thank you, Professor," you reply softly, matching his mischievous smile. "I’ve been working really hard to be your best student."
He nods. "Good. Keep it up and you’ll certainly become my favorite."
You give the lollipop one final slow lick while looking him straight in the eyes, then turn to leave, swaying your hips in those tiny shorts. You can feel his gaze burning into you the entire way out.
That night, you write in your diary:
"Fuck, the way he stared at my mouth while I was sucking that lollipop… I bet he was imagining how my lips would look wrapped around his cock. I wanted him to grab my hair and shove himself down my throat right there in front of everyone. Daddy looked so tense today, but he still praised my academic effort again. I feel like I’m getting so close to finally making him snap."
────────
The class starts as usual, with you sitting in the front row, paying close attention to Professor Park’s lecture as he discusses the topics in that controlled, precise tone.
In the middle of the lecture, Ni-ki — the guy you’ve been tutoring — leans over from the seat next to you and whispers in your ear, "Hey, are we meeting again today?"
You smile at him and nod, leaning in closer on purpose because you know Professor Park is watching. "Yeah, already missing me, Nishimura?"
Ni-ki stays close, chatting quietly with you while the class continues. You smile widely and laugh at everything he says — he’s so funny and goofy. "We can review that part after class if you want," you say sweetly, loud enough for Professor Park to hear.
Sunghoon’s reaction is subtle but noticeable. His jaw clenches, one thick eyebrow lifting for half a second as he watches the two of you. He pauses mid-sentence when he catches Ni-ki staring at your breasts, then continues with a noticeably deeper, colder voice. When his eyes meet yours again, there’s something different in them. Jealousy.
"Concentrate, please," he says to the entire class, but his gaze is locked directly on you.
After class, when most students have left, you stay behind, pretending to organize your notes. Professor Park walks over to your seat and stops right beside you, towering over you with his arms crossed over his chest. His biceps strain against the sleeves of his shirt.
"Miss… I appreciate you helping Ni-ki, but I’d prefer if tutoring sessions stayed professional and outside of my lecture time."
You look up at him with feigned innocence, biting your lower lip. "I’m sorry, Professor. I was just trying to help like you asked… I really want to be useful to you."
Those words make his cock twitch inside his pants.
"That’s fine, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your performance," he replies. "You’re one of my best students. I’d hate to see that change." He lingers for a second longer, staring at you, before stepping back.
"One of." That’s not enough. You want to be his favorite. The only one.
That day, you write:
"He was jealous today, it was so obvious. Daddy didn’t like me giving attention to another guy and fuck, that’s so hot — it left me soaked. I wanted him to snap right there, drag me to his office, put me on all fours and fuck me stupid. I need him to claim me, ruin me, remind me who I belong to. Please, Professor Park."
────────
Another class ends. This time, you don’t wait for everyone to leave so you can have a brief moment alone with Professor Park. In a rush to meet your friends at a nearby café, you end up forgetting your notebook on the desk — the one filled with all your filthy thoughts about him.
Professor Park is packing up his things when he notices the forgotten notebook on the seat where you sat during class. He picks it up, planning to return it to you next lecture, but decides to open it first to check for a name — just to make sure it’s yours. His eyes scan the first page, then the next, and the next.
"Today I met Professor Park and my God, he’s so attractive…"
"I want him to bend me over the desk after everyone leaves, lift my skirt, and fuck me hard."
"I want to be Daddy’s favorite. I’d let him fuck my ass if that’s what it takes to be his good girl."
"I wanted him to grab my hair and shove himself down my throat right there in front of everyone."
He freezes, jaw clenched tight, every muscle in his body tense as he keeps reading. Page after page of your explicit fantasies — the way you teased him with the lollipop, dropped to your knees in front of him, wore shorter and shorter skirts with tighter blouses, all of it deliberately done to provoke him.
With every new entry, his cock grows harder, throbbing painfully against the confines of his pants.
You only realize you forgot the notebook when you’re already halfway across campus. Panic floods through you instantly — every filthy thought, every "Daddy," every explicit fantasy is written in there. Your stomach twists at the thought of someone finding it and reading everything. You run back to the lecture hall as fast as you can.
When you arrive, the door is slightly ajar. Peeking inside, you see that Professor Park is still there.
Breathless, you push the door open. His eyes lock onto yours the second you step inside. The air feels thick, heavier than ever. His gaze is different now — darker, more intense, hungry. In that same instant, you know you’re fucked.
"You forgot this," he says in a low, serious voice. A cruel smile plays on his lips as he holds the notebook out toward you, but he doesn’t let go when you try to take it.
"Interesting reading…" He flips through the pages again and reads one of the entries out loud. "Please, Daddy… notice how desperate your good girl is." Then he lets out a low, mocking laugh — clearly amused by how desperate you sounded in those notes.
Your face burns with shame. The words get stuck in your throat. What excuse could you possibly give when everything is written so explicitly? "Professor… I—"
He closes the notebook with a sharp snap and pins you with a piercing stare that makes your entire body shiver. "We’ll discuss this later. In private."
He finally releases the notebook. The moment it’s in your hands, you turn and flee as fast as your trembling legs can carry you.
The rest of the day is pure torture. You can barely sleep that night, your mind racing with every possible consequence — and every possible thing he might do to you.
Later that evening, your phone vibrates with an email from him.
My office. Thursday, 4:30 PM. We need to discuss the contents of your notebook.
— Sunghoon Park.
On Thursday, you spend the entire day getting ready. You wear the tightest tank top you own — thin enough that your hard, needy nipples are clearly visible — paired with the shortest skirt you’ve ever worn, one that barely covers the curve of your ass.
At exactly 4:30 PM, you knock on his office door, your heart pounding so hard you feel dizzy.
"Come in," he says from inside.
You open the door slowly. There he is, leaning against his desk with his arms crossed over his broad chest, jaw clenched, a malicious smile on his lips and a hungry look in his eyes as they rake over your body from head to toe. The cold, professional mask he always wore in class is gone, replaced by something much darker.
"Lock the door and sit down," he orders, leaving no room for argument.
You obey with trembling hands, locking the door before sitting down, pressing your thighs together. You can already feel your panties getting wet. For a few long seconds, he just stares at you, his gaze lingering on your hard nipples straining against the thin fabric.
When his eyes finally meet yours, he speaks. "You wrote about wanting me to bend you over this desk. About my arms suffocating you. About calling me Daddy. About dressing like a desperate little slut just to get my attention."
You feel exposed, vulnerable, and shamefully aroused, your pussy throbbing.
"I didn’t… I mean, I—" The words die in your throat as he steps closer, towering over you.
"Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been to stay professional?" he growls. "Watching you in class every day in those tiny skirts and tight tops. Reading how badly you want me to claim you."
Before you can respond, he grabs your waist and lifts you effortlessly onto his desk. His hands grip your thighs, spreading them so he can step between them.
"Professor Park…" you whimper, your voice trembling with need and nervousness.
He kneels in front of you, eyes locked on yours as he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties to the side, exposing your needy, dripping wet pussy. The first touch of his hot tongue against your folds makes you gasp sharply.
"Oh God—" you moan, gripping the edge of the desk.
Sunghoon eats you out like a starving man — with long, slow licks from your entrance to your clit, then sucking hard on the swollen bundle of nerves. Two long fingers slide deep inside you, curling perfectly to stroke that sensitive spot while his tongue works relentlessly.
"Sunghoon, fuck— that feels so good," you whimper, tangling your fingers in his hair. "I’ve waited so long for this…"
He growls against your pussy when he hears you moan his name so casually. The vibration sends shivers through your entire body. His fingers pump faster and deeper as he sucks your clit into his mouth. The pressure builds quickly until you cum hard, thighs trembling around his head, loud moans ripping from your throat as you soak his chin and the desk beneath you.
When he finally stands up, his lips are glistening with your juices. He’s breathing heavily, the massive bulge in his pants straining painfully against the fabric.
"Please, Daddy…" You spread your legs even wider, eyes glassy with tears of frustration and pleasure. "I need your cock. Please, fuck me."
Sunghoon steps forward, pressing his clothed erection firmly against your soaked entrance and rubbing slowly. You moan softly, rolling your hips against him desperately, chasing more friction, but he pulls away again.
"I’m not reckless enough to fuck you in my office," he groans, clearly fighting for control. "No matter how badly I want to bury myself inside this needy little pussy."
You let out a pathetic whine, eyes pleading. He leans in close, gripping your jaw firmly with one hand.
"Tonight. My apartment. 8 PM. If you want me to fuck you properly." He pauses, his voice low and dark. "I’ll send you an email with the address."
────────
You arrive at his building exactly at 8 PM, wearing the sluttiest outfit you own. Your pussy is already dripping down your thighs by the time you knock on the door.
Sunghoon opens the door dressed differently from usual — a simple black shirt and gray sweatpants that do nothing to hide the thick, heavy outline of his hard cock.
"Come in," He orders and you obey, the door closing behind you with a heavy click.
The second you step inside, his reserved professor mask finally shatters and he snaps.
He grabs you by the waist and slams you against the wall, his grip so strong it will definitely leave bruises. "You have no fucking idea what you’ve done to me," he growls, pressing his erection hard against your stomach. "Reading page after page of you begging to be my little whore. Calling me Daddy while thinking about my cock."
You moan, arching into him desperately. "Please… I need it. I’ve needed your cock for so long."
He spins you around and bends you roughly over the back of the couch. Your tiny skirt rides up, exposing your bare, dripping pussy — you didn’t even bother wearing panties. His large hand comes down hard on your ass, making you cry out.
"Look at this desperate little cunt," he says, stroking the spot he just spanked. "Dripping all over my floor." Two thick fingers slide through your folds and push deep inside you without warning. You scream, pushing back against his hand as he fingers you hard, curling his fingers against that sweet spot while his thumb circles your swollen clit.
"You’re tighter than I imagined," he groans, pumping faster. "All those weeks teasing me in those tiny skirts and tight tops… you’re going to take every inch of Daddy’s cock tonight."
He pulls his fingers out, yanks your top up to free your breasts, and spins you around to face him. Before you can say anything, his mouth crashes against yours in a hungry, demanding, almost desperate kiss — his tongue pushing past your lips to claim you completely.
You melt into him, moaning into his mouth while grinding against his hard cock. When he finally pulls back, your lips are swollen and you’re panting.
He walks you backward toward the bedroom, still kissing you between steps, until the back of your knees hit the bed. Sunghoon throws you onto your back, pulls off his shirt, and shoves down his sweatpants — finally freeing his cock that springs out, thick and rock hard with pulsing veins along the shaft. Your mouth waters at the sight.
He climbs on top of you, grabs your thighs and spreads them wide. Without any ceremony, he lines up and thrusts deep inside you in one brutal stroke, burying himself to the hilt in your soaked pussy. "Fuck, you’re so goddamn tight."
Then he starts fucking you hard — deep, merciless thrusts that make the bed creak and his heavy balls slap against your ass with every stroke.
You’re completely lost in it, moaning like a whore because he’s so big and the stretch is overwhelming. "Your cock is so big… you’re stretching me so good."
He leans down and kisses you again, swallowing your moans as he pounds into you. His muscular body pins you to the mattress, his heat and weight dominating you the best way possible.
"You’re mine now," he growls against your lips. "My perfect little pet. This pussy belongs to me now."
Sunghoon presses one hand firmly on your lower belly and starts fucking you with slow but incredibly deep strokes. His cock is so long and buried so deep that you can clearly see the bulge moving under your skin with every thrust.
"I can literally see my cock bulging your tiny stomach. Feel that?" He thrusts harder, pressing down so you can feel the head of his cock pushing against his hand through your body.
You nod, sobbing with pleasure, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Yes, I feel it. You’re ruining my pussy, Daddy. I’m so full."
"My cock is bigger than your little womb can handle… but you’re still taking every inch like a good girl," he groans, almost hypnotized.
"Please, don’t stop," you beg desperately, voice breaking. He fucks you even deeper, one hand still pressing on the bulge in your stomach while the other pins your wrists above your head.
The pressure becomes unbearable until you can’t hold back anymore. You cum hard, screaming as your pussy clenches violently around his cock, squirting while he keeps fucking you through it. The sight and feeling push him over the edge too. He buries himself as deep as your body allows and fills you with thick, hot ropes of cum, groaning loudly as he empties himself inside you.
He slowly pulls out of you, his cock glistening with the mixture of both your cum. You’re panting, legs still trembling from the intense orgasm, when suddenly he flips you onto your stomach without warning. He grabs your hips and pulls your ass up, putting you on all fours.
"Arch your back," he orders. "I want to fuck you like the desperate little pet you are."
You obey immediately, arching your back deeply and presenting your wet, swollen pussy to him. This position leaves you completely at his mercy as his tall, muscular frame towers behind you.
He leans over you, one hand sliding down your spine until he grabs the back of your neck, pulling you up so your back is pressed against his chest. With the other hand, he turns your head to the side and kisses you deeply. His tongue invades your mouth, claiming every inch while his thick cock teases between your ass cheeks.
You moan into the kiss, melting under him. "Daddy… fuck me harder," you beg breathlessly against his lips.
He kisses you even more aggressively, biting your lower lip before pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. "Open your mouth."
You obey without hesitation, sliding your tongue out slightly. Sunghoon leans over you and spits directly into your open mouth — a thick string of saliva landing on your tongue.
You moan pathetically and swallow it all. "Thank you, Daddy…"
"Good girl," he praises with a wide smile, then spits into your mouth again. "Now take my cock."
He pushes you back down onto the mattress, grips your hips with both large hands, and thrusts into you with one brutal stroke. The new angle lets him bury every thick inch even deeper, stretching your tight pussy to its limit.
"Fuck!" you cry out, fingers gripping the sheets. "You’re so deep like this… Oh my God."
Sunghoon starts fucking you hard, his hips slamming against your ass with loud, wet slaps that push your body forward with every thrust. His thick cock rubs against your cervix and every sensitive spot inside you — the obscene sound of your soaked pussy getting fucked filling the room.
He keeps one hand on the back of your neck, pressing your face into the mattress while the other spanks your ass hard in time with his thrusts, leaving red marks on your skin. "Take it," he groans. "This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To be fucked like a bitch in heat by your professor."
"Yes, yes, Daddy." you moan loudly, pushing your hips back desperately to meet his rhythm. "Fuck me harder… I love being your little slut."
He leans over you again, chest pressed against your back, and continues pounding into you mercilessly. Every thrust makes your ass ripple and your tits bounce beneath you.
Sunghoon reaches around and grabs one of your breasts roughly, pinching your nipple without slowing his punishing pace — his heavy balls slapping against your clit with every stroke.
"You’re so fucking tight like this," he growls against your ear, biting your shoulder. "This tiny pussy was made for my cock."
You’re sobbing with pleasure, completely lost in how deep and hard his huge cock is fucking you. "I’m gonna cum. Sunghoon, please... can I cum?" you beg, voice breaking.
He slaps your ass hard again, making you squirm under him. "Cum on my cock like a good girl."
You scream into the mattress as your inner walls clench violently around him, the orgasm hitting you violently. He doesn’t slow down — he fucks you straight through it, chasing his own release.
Until he buries himself to the hilt and fills you with another huge load, pumping rope after thick rope of hot cum deep inside your pussy in heavy spasms.
You’re still trembling and leaking his cum when he pulls out and suddenly flips you onto your back so he can look at your ruined body and flushed, wrecked expression. "On your knees," he commands, his voice low and rough.
You obey instantly, like you always do. Sunghoon reaches over to the nightstand where he keeps his satin ties and grabs a couple. "Hands behind your back, pet." He ties your wrists securely behind you and then binds your ankles, leaving you completely helpless on the bed.
The silk bites into your skin just tight enough to make you fully at his mercy. When you test the restraints and realize you can’t escape, a needy moan escapes you.
"Look at you…" he says, slowly stroking his cock, which is already rock hard again. "All tied up and dripping for me. Exactly how a desperate little slut should be.:
You whimper, your pussy clenching around nothing. "Daddy, please..."
He lets out a cruel laugh, then grabs you by the hair and drags you off the bed to the large full-length mirror on the bedroom wall. He positions you on your knees right in front of it, facing your own reflection. "Eyes open," he whispers into your ear. "Watch what I do to you."
You stare at the obscene image in the mirror: your wrists and ankles bound, your skirt bunched uselessly around your waist, tits exposed, and your face flushed with lust.
Sunghoon kneels behind you, his muscular body making yours look tiny. He yanks your head back by the hair and thrusts into you with one brutal stroke, burying his cock to the hilt.
He starts fucking you hard, deep and punishing thrusts that jolt your bound body forward. His biceps flex as he grips your hips, pulling you back onto his cock with every stroke. The mirror shows everything — your tits bouncing, your face twisted in pleasure, and his body dominating you from behind.
"Fuck, look how well your tight little pussy takes me," he groans. One hand wraps around your throat while the other arm snakes around your upper body. He pulls you back against his chest, smothering you between those massive biceps while he keeps thrusting. Your vision starts to blur from the overwhelming pleasure as you gasp for air, forced to watch yourself being destroyed in the mirror.
Sunghoon unties your ankles and in one smooth motion stands up, lifting your body like you weigh nothing. He presses you against the mirror, your tits and cheek smashing against the cold glass as he enters you from behind again.
The mirror fogs up with your hot breath while he fucks you relentlessly. "You teased me for weeks," he growls in your ear, one hand still gripping your throat. "Now you get to watch yourself get fucked like the whore you are." His hips slam against your ass with loud, wet smacks, his cock driving incredibly deep in this standing position.
You cum hard, screaming as your pussy squirts around his cock and your legs shake violently, but he doesn’t stop. He pulls out, spins you around, and lifts you onto his cock, impaling you completely again. His strong arms do all the work, bouncing your bound body up and down on his thick shaft.
"Beg for it," he demands.
"Please, Daddy, cum inside me again," you sob desperately. "Fill your good girl up… I need it so bad."
He buries himself to the hilt one final time and floods your pussy with another massive load, pumping rope after thick rope of hot cum until it overflows around his cock and drips down your ass.
Still buried deep inside you, he carries you back to the bed and sits you up on the edge of it, standing in front of you. "Open that pretty mouth. Time to clean Daddy’s cock and get your throat fucked."
He doesn’t wait for you to do it. He simply grabs your hair and slaps his cum-covered cock against your tongue a few times before shoving it straight down your throat. You gag hard, your eyes watering instantly as he forces his thick length past your gag reflex.
"That’s it, swallow it all, you filthy little cocksucker," he groans, starting to thrust deep and steady.
You gag and drool uncontrollably, thick strings of saliva running down your chin and dripping onto your tits and thighs. Glk- glk- glk. The obscene sounds fill the room as he fucks your face mercilessly.
You pull against the restraints around your wrists, trying to escape while moaning around his cock. When he pulls out briefly to let you breathe, you gasp desperately. "I’m your dirty little whore, Daddy."
He groans and thrusts back in, fucking your throat harder and faster while holding you in place. Tears stream down your face, but you keep looking up at him submissively. Finally, with a deep groan, he buries himself to the hilt and cums straight down your throat. You swallow every drop like the good girl you are, coughing and gasping for air when he finally pulls out.
Sunghoon releases the restraints from your wrists and sits on the edge of the bed, his cock still hard and glistening, slapping against his stomach. He pulls you onto his lap, gripping your hips possessively. "Get on top, baby," he says, his voice low and rough. "I want to watch you ride Daddy’s cock."
Even though you’re trembling and completely wrecked, you obey. You straddle him, align his cock with your soaked entrance, and sink down slowly, moaning loudly as he stretches you open again. "Fuck… Daddy, you’re so deep like this," you moan, bottoming out with a shaky breath.
Sunghoon leans back slightly, supporting himself on his hands, his thick dark eyebrows furrowed as he watches you. One large hand immediately slides up to your breast, squeezing it hard while his thumb brushes over your sensitive nipple. "Ride me. Show me how badly you wanted this."
You start moving, rolling your hips and bouncing on his cock. He slaps your ass hard. SMACK. the sharp sound echoing as your flesh jiggles. "Faster," he demands, slapping the other cheek even harder. "Don’t be shy. Fuck yourself on me like you wrote in that dirty little notebook."
You ride him harder, your tits bouncing wildly in front of his face. He leans forward and catches one nipple in his mouth, sucking hard while his other hand keeps spanking and groping your ass, occasionally spreading your cheeks so he can feel how tightly you’re stretched around him.
"Oh my God, Sunghoon!" you moan loudly, head falling back. "Your cock feels so good… I love your cock. Please, spank my ass harder!"
His big hand comes down again and again, turning your ass red while his other hand kneads and pinches your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. The mix of pain and pleasure makes your pussy clench around him.
"Look at you… bouncing on your professor’s cock like a whore. These pretty tits are mine." He squeezes them together, burying his face between them, biting and sucking marks into your soft skin.
You’re losing control, riding him relentlessly while grinding your clit against his pelvis with every bounce. "I’m gonna cum, please. Can I cum?" you beg.
He slaps your ass one more time, hard enough to make you scream, then grips your hips tightly and starts thrusting up to meet you. "Cum," he growls against your chest. "Cream all over Daddy’s cock."
You scream loudly, your body shaking violently as your pussy clenches and squirts around his thick shaft. Sunghoon doesn’t stop — he keeps fucking you through your orgasm, spanking your ass and playing with your bouncing tits until he groans deeply and buries himself inside you, pumping another thick load into your already overflowing pussy.
Sunghoon gently rubs your wrists and ankles before lifting your trembling body along with his and carrying you in his arms to the bathroom.
Under the hot streams of water, he presses your body against the tiles, pinning you there. "Can you take one more? Just one more for me, hm? I know you can, baby…"
You nod quickly. "I can."
He lifts one of your legs, lines himself up, and slides back into your sore, dripping pussy. The water cascades over both of you as he fucks you deep and steady, one thick arm wrapped loosely around your throat from behind while his other hand gropes your breasts and rubs your clit.
"You’re such a messy little whore, but so good for me," he whispers in your ear, thrusting harder. "Still leaking my cum down your thighs."
"Yes, I’m yours," you whimper, pushing back against him. "Fill me again, please. Breed me. I want to be yours forever, Daddy."
He pins you harder against the wall until you cum again, moaning his name. With one final deep thrust, he groans and releases inside you once more, making the mixture of cum and water run down your legs.
Sunghoon turns off the water, dries you carefully, and kisses every mark he left on your body. He carries you back to the bed and pulls you into his arms, cuddling you against his chest.
"You were incredible tonight," he murmurs softly, stroking your hair. "Such a good girl for Daddy. You took everything so well."
You nuzzle into him, your voice low and exhausted. "Thank you, Daddy… I loved every second. I’m yours now."
He massages your sore wrists, thighs, and neck with gentle, careful hands, then brings you water and holds the glass while you drink. He cleans between your legs again with a warm cloth, kissing your forehead the whole time.
"Stay here with me," he whispers, wrapping you in those strong arms. "Rest, baby."
You fall asleep feeling safe and warm in his arms, completely owned, satisfied, and already dreaming about the next time.
────────
You wake up slowly, your body sore and marked — your thighs sticky with dried cum, your throat still a little raw. You smile to yourself like a lovestruck idiot, then slip out of bed wearing one of his dress shirts that you stole from the chair in the room.
You walk toward the kitchen, following the smell of fresh coffee. He’s standing at the counter, so you quietly approach from behind and wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his back.
"Good morning…" you murmur, kissing his back softly. "Thank you for last night. I can still feel you everywhere."
Sunghoon doesn’t turn around immediately. He stays still for a moment, then lets out a low, cold laugh that makes your stomach twist.
He finally turns, wearing that same reserved, stern expression he used during lectures as he looks at you like you’re something both pathetic and mildly amusing.
"You’re already acting clingy?" he says, his voice low and cruel. "One night of getting your holes ruined and you think you can play housewife?"
Your cheeks burn, but you still try to be sweet, pressing your body against his and rubbing your hard nipples against his chest.
"Sorry… I just feel so close to you right now," you whisper softly, looking up at him with big, adoring eyes. "I love being your good girl."
He reaches out and grabs your chin roughly, forcing your head back with a firm, almost painful grip. "Look at you," he says mockingly. "So desperate and sweet in the morning. You were screaming like a whore last night, begging Daddy to fill your insides with cum… and now you’re cuddling up to me like a lost puppy?"
Before you can respond, he releases your chin and turns back to the counter as if you don’t even deserve his attention. But you keep trying, stepping forward again and wrapping your arms around him from behind. "Please, Sunghoon… I really like you. It’s not just the sex—"
"Enough," he interrupts sharply. He turns again, grabs you by the waist, and easily lifts you onto the kitchen counter, spreading your legs. The shirt rides up, exposing your bare, still-swollen pussy. "You’re not going to play sweet and domestic after writing page after page about wanting to be my personal cum dump."
"But… I want to make you happy," you say softly, your voice trembling.
He leans in close, trapping you on the counter. "Then stay quiet and keep that little cunt ready for whenever I want it," he says coldly. "Sweetness doesn’t suit a desperate pet like you. Now spread your legs wider and stop pretending you’re anything more than my dirty little secret."
He delivers a hard, cruel slap directly to your clit, making you gasp. Then he steps back, leaving you sitting there exposed, dripping, and aching on the counter while he casually drinks his coffee.
• SYNOPSIS: A fleeting encounter with Park Jay at a high school party leaves a quiet imprint on your then broken heart. Years later, you find him again, now as an icy guitarist of the campus boy band, HYPHENIX. You never spoke again, but you remembered his eyes, his words, his presence and how he lingered at the back of your mind years after. You wanted to reach for him, but he was so far, popular, untouchable that you decided to pour your heart to him in secret, until the secret was revealed but someone else claimed it before you could.
Or in which you pour your heart into anonymous letters for the cold, distant guitarist, Jay, only to watch your best friend claim every word as her own.
• PAIRING: Park Jongseong (Jay) x afab!reader
• WORD COUNT: 21.4k (Part 1)
• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university settings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, strangers to lovers, slow burn, shy reader x popular Jay, down bad reader, betrayal, abandonment, miscommunications or lack of communications, profanities, name calling, stereotyping, best friend's boyfriend, reader is nosy and loves other people's business way too much (my twin fr), fear of rejection and unwanted attention, body image issues in the beginning, toxic relationships and friendships, low-key stalker reader, reader wears glasses, not proofread, lmk if I missed anything.
• SERIES MASTERLIST
• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic turned out to be more lengthy than I initially planned, so I am splitting it into 2 part. Lmk if you want to be tagged for part 2 when I post it. Your likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much for showering my write ups with your love. Happy reading♡♡
The music blaring through the speakers hit you first, deep bass vibrating through the pavement long before you reached the house. It meddled with your heartbeat, getting louder with decreasing distance from the party. You sighed leaning your head on the car's window, the house looked unfamiliar, windows glowing red, blue, green against the night. You didn't know whose house this was, just that your boyfriend said everyone would be there and to let yourself loose from time to time. You fixed the glasses on your nose, and adjusted your jacket, you turned your head to look at your boyfriend.
He looked in your direction briefly when he felt your gaze on him before sighing, "don't stress too much." You gulped, feeling anxious, "I don't really know anyone there Joon," you started, eyes brimming with worry, "you'll stay by my side right?" You heard him exhale a deep breath before throwing a wink at you, "yes babe, don't worry, you look really beautiful today, I'm stressed someone will steal you away from me." You pushed him a bit, blush creeping on your neck as you turned back towards the window.
Cars were lined up the driveway, recklessly parked. You wouldn't expect anything less from high schoolers anyway. You could hear the screams and laughter from the porch, it was loud and chaotic and it made your stomach churned. "Let's go," your eyes followed your boyfriend's actions, and you proceeded to take off your seatbelt. He stood beside the door tapping his foot impatiently, you shook your head and opened your side of the door. He locked the door behind you and started making his way towards the house. You hurriedly rushed behind him, and then slowed your steps down when you reached beside him.
The air was thick inside, tangled in a weird mix of cheap perfume, alcohol and something burning, maybe it was food or the fireworks you didn't know. Your hand latched onto your boyfriend's sleeve as soon as you entered. The environment was warm, crowded, strangers pressed against each other like puzzle pieces that don't belong together. The LED lights stung your eyes. You moved through the crowd tightly pressed against your boyfriend's side. Every corner of the room was alive with conversations you weren't a part of, some shouting over the music, some laughing at their friend's antics, some posing for pictures. The walls of the house felt suffocating though it was relatively big, the energy inside too much, reminding you that you don't belong here.
The music was pounding in your ears, too loud, too bothersome. You stood beside your boyfriend, who anxiously texted his friends asking where they are. Your eyes trailed towards the dance floor, bodies swayed with the rhythm of the music, some too close, some trying not to lose their balance. It happened too fast, one moment your boyfriend was beside you, another moment he rushed towards the other side of the room completely disregarding your presence. Your eyes followed him, your steps following suit. Someone shouted over the bass, out of frustration or joy you couldn't tell.
You grabbed your boyfriend's hand, your action making him stop to look at you. Just in time someone crashed into your shoulder, their clumsy actions making you stumble as a slosh of liquid hit the floor beneath you and onto your heel-cladded feet. The sticky scent of fruit punch or some weird concoction clung in the air, few people gathered around to look at the mess before laughing and stepping over it like it didn't matter. Your feet felt sticky and your boyfriend rolled his eyes at the sight, "how about you go to the bathroom and clean yourself? I'll wait for you here." You grimaced before nodding your head at your boyfriend and making your way towards the bathroom.
You washed your feet and heels with irritation seeping deep in your bones, this is the exact reason why you don't do parties, it's messy and loud and everything you tend to avoid. After drying your feet and heels with tissue, you took a brief look at yourself in the mirror. You combed your fingers through your loose hair to make them a tad bit presentable, fixing your glasses yet again you sighed and texted your boyfriend to meet near the dance floor. You made your way out of the bathroom and towards the dance floor, scanning the room for your boyfriend as you waited for him to text you back.
"Joon?" You tapped his shoulder when you found him leaning on the wall as he chatted with someone animatedly. He turned around, visible irritation laced on his face as he excused himself and made his way in the opposite direction, you followed suit, confused about his sudden discontent towards you. "Joon, where are you going? I asked you to wait for me, didn't I?" He stopped abruptly when he was sure he was away from the eyesight of his friends. You collided with his back, "I was just catching up with my friends! Can't you at least leave me alone for a few minutes?" You shuddered at his high-pitched tone, "you know I don't like partying yet I came since you promised that you'll stay by my side."
"Gosh you're so clingy-" his voice was cut off when someone called out his name, both of you turned around towards the person, "is this your girl Joon? Won't you introduce her to us?" You eyed the girl who smiled at you after giving your boyfriend a sharp side eye. He shrugged, ushering her to join others before he turned towards you. "Take your jacket and glasses off, try to look good for me in front of my friends, I've a reputation to uphold." Your eyes widened at his words rendering you speechless. It was the first time he had uttered those words to you, was he ashamed of introducing you to his friends just as you were? You thought he loved you for you.
All of your thoughts came to a halt when he turned you around and took off your jacket despite you protesting. You weren't comfortable with showing much skin. He knew that the spaghetti strap top you were wearing underneath made you feel more conscious about yourself and your surroundings. He threw the jacket somewhere on the couch, grabbing your hand and made his way towards his friends. "Joon, you know I'm not good with people, what are you doing?" He ignored your pleas as he stopped in front of his friends. You put your head down, hoping somehow they'll focus on your boyfriend and forget that you existed.
"Your girlfriend is really pretty, Joon." One of the girls from his circle chimed, her nails lightly scratching his arms, she didn't even spare you a glance as she went on about how pretty you are, and how funny you must be. Everyone else looked a bit uncomfortable at the exchange aside from your boyfriend and her. Someone cleared their throat to break the awkward tension and your boyfriend snapped from his trance and proceeded to introduce you. Awkward and sympathetic smiles greeted you in return, their eyes meeting with each other like they knew something you didn't. The same girl asked you to have a drink, laughing obnoxiously loud as you declined as if not abusing your liver was a mundane thought to have.
Joon grabbed the drink from the waiter and held your face with one hand as he forced you to drink whatever it was in that cup, you pushed him, startled by him constantly crossing your boundaries without a single care. The whole group gasped as he stumbled backward and fell on the ground. Few of his friends took out their cameras to record the scene. You wiped the remnants of the drink dropping down from your mouth, your eyes fixed on the way your boyfriend glared at you. The girl from earlier sat by his side, words of venom spilling off from her cherry lips as she helped your boyfriend get up. And with the way your boyfriend's hand rested low on her lips and the concern etched on her face, you knew what place you held in your boyfriend's life.
You shook your head as you made your way towards the back of the house, taking off your glasses momentarily to wipe the tears that managed to fall off your eyes. The backyard was nearly empty save it from a few people who were smoking joints in the corner. You made your way towards the small staircase which led towards the gazebo and sat there, contemplating on your reactions towards your boyfriend's actions. You turned to look if he followed you but got more disappointed as you saw him wrapping his arms around the girl instead. You couldn't figure out if the shiver that went down your spine and the goosebumps on your skin was because of your boyfriend's actions or because of the weather.
You let the tears flow, your glasses fogging up as you took deep breaths to control losing your shit right at a stranger's house. This isn't how you planned the start of your weekend to go, yet here you were, drowning in your misery as your mind went back to all the things your boyfriend did previously which you ignored. You were too busy believing in his potential that you forgot to look at how he is in the present. All the lies, the excuses, the missed dates, the secrecy everything played in front of your eyes like a tape record on loop. You blame yourself for letting him play with you for so long.
You stopped crying when a blurry image came into view, you took off your glasses, wiped it with the hem of your top and put it back to get a better view. You heard a sigh from beside you, as your vision adjusted, a handkerchief. You took it in your hand and wiped your tears, unable to look at the person who handed it to you. "Young love, huh? Must be painful..." your eyes fell on the stranger who sat beside you, a half-smile adorning his face, not unkind but more like he knew how you were feeling, "but hey, heartbreak makes a good story for later, right?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his comment, "you're saying it like you're some old man trapped in a hot boy body."
"You're saying I'm hot?" Your cheeks flared up with heat as you let the weight of your words sink in your head, your eyes widened in embarrassment as he just laughed. You took in his appearance, he was laughing with his head thrown back, carefree and unfiltered like he owned the world. His cheeks flushed, either from alcohol or laughing, you weren't sure. His smile was wide, the kind of smile which made people look at him twice even without meaning to. His hair's a little messy, pushed back like he ran his hands through it one to many times. His eyes shined with a tipsy charm as they locked with yours, the kind of eyes which makes you forget your own name even when he's sober.
"I saw what happened back there, thought you'd appreciate a company," his words brought your mind back to your current situation, frown appearing on your relaxed face once again. You sighed, hugged yourself, maybe you could use some company, "I really thought he loved me," you started, head hanging low as you felt shame consume you for being so stupid, "I let him break one too many of my boundaries." He sighed as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. His scent enveloped your senses, calming your frantic heart a little, "dump him, he's not worth it and you're better than this."
You looked at him briefly, "I don't know if I have that much confidence in me, I don't have anyone else other than him." His hand made its way to your chin, lifting it up slightly, you're met with his sharp gaze, "confidence isn't loud you know, sometimes confidence is just choosing yourself over others. And I believe you're closer to choosing yourself than you think." His determined eyes and lopsided smile made your heart skip a bit. He reluctantly removed his hand from your chin, coughing awkwardly as he looked away as if his words didn't really pierced through your heart. "You think so?" You questioned meekly as you fiddled with your fingers. He looked at the sky, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped, "You don't need to be confident to walk away. You just need to take one step. And yeah, maybe you feel like he is all you have right now but he is not all there is. Don't build your entire world around someone who can't hold it for you."
You let his words sink in your chest, your boyfriend was the only person you had, he made sure of that. Maybe deep down you knew you deserved better than him, and maybe you just needed someone else to remind you, "you're great with words, can I at least know the name of the person I am trauma bonding with?" He chuckled at your words, "Jay's fine." You nodded, telling him your name in return. You spent the rest of the night talking with him, your mind drifting far off from your boyfriend as you laughed at him while he explained how he got fed up with his friends who were shit-faced drunk and creating a scene. He told you how parties weren't really his cup of tea but he liked entertaining his friends who loved it. As the night went on you realized he was drunk as well and probably won't even remember this small exchange with you in the morning, yet you were glad you weren't drowning alone in your misery tonight.
"Ah, I need to go. My friends have been calling me non stop and my phone was on silent mode." He was on his feet and off towards the house before you could bring yourself to stop him to ask for his number. You booked a cab to get you back to your house when you realized he didn't take his jacket back with him. You just looked at him as his figure disappeared into the crowd and ran towards the direction he went but you lost him and you wondered if you'll ever be able to meet me again. You reached home, head pounding due to all the crying and a little bit of drink which your boyfriend forced you to drink.
You quickly messaged your boyfriend to call it quits and blocked his number from every possible app you could, not even waiting for his reply. You opened your instagram, your fingers moving before your mind did. You recognized a guy from your school, Sunoo, at the party. He's a social butterfly. Maybe his profile could help you with finding Jay. You opened his profile, sighing in relief as his page was public, you went to the tagged section to see if you could find Jay and there he was. You zoomed in to take a clear look, the picture was blurry but the jacket in the picture looked familiar to the one currently draped on your chair. You clicked on it to see if his username is tagged and thankfully it did. His profile was more low-key than low-key, just some pictures of his guitars, a group picture and a name, HYPHENIX.
The university's campus is louder and lively than it needs to be. The courtyard buzzing with laughter and talks of people huddling together to make memories. People walk in with their little groups, coffee in one hand, backpacks slung over their shoulders, carefree like they've already figured out how to survive here, like they know they belong here. You pass through them like wind brushing past one's hair, your head down, hands clasped around the straps of your backpack. The hallway isn't any better, students rushing to get to their respective classes, some frantic, some lazed out. There's echo of shoes, heels, sneakers, boots, which remind you that you are walking with them, just not beside. Voices overlap, laughter resonates, lockers being slammed shut and class door's daring you to knock and enter. Everyone seems to have somewhere to be, someone to text, someone waiting for them to join and you just wheeze past them, not invisible entirely just easy to miss.
You're halfway to your class when you hear someone call out your name, turn around and smile softly at your best friend, Ava, short for Avalyn, to catch up to you. "Where are you running off to?" You take off your headphones and place it inside the case, "my morning class Ava! You got free time?" She shook her head, her keratin smooth hair swaying slightly at her movement, "I'm trying for cheer squad remember? I'm going for a practice session to get through the audition." You nodded your head in understanding, she had been trying to have a spot in the cheer squad for a while now, she's good at it you think, but you guess popularity plays a key role in getting into the team.
She continued to walk by your side as she gushed about how she's getting better at cheering, you listened to her, that's what you usually do. You bid her goodbye and enter your class. The class went on as usual, nothing out of ordinary. You took notes of the things the professor said, then quietly packed your things to leave. You were placing the headphones in your ears when your eyes landed on a figure standing a few feet away from you, your steps halted and there he was, Jay. He was leaning against a pillar, nodding his head at the person talking with him, one hand raking through his already messy hair. His other hand was holding onto the strap of his guitar case.
You watched him from the entrance of your class, occasionally sliding your finger on your phone screen to appear busy as you stole glances at him. Your eyes blinked a few times, not really believing the sight in front of you. He barely spoke, just nodded along the conversation with a blank expression on. He hadn't changed much, except he was now taller, his features more sharp, and more mature than you last remember. The sight of him made your heart skip a beat, maybe it was because you saw him after so many years or maybe because he hadn't left your mind even once since you had a talk with him at that high school party.
He reminded you of the past version of yourself which you haven't really forgotten. A small crowd gathered around him, he sighed heavily. His eyes scanned around the area, you hid yourself behind the door of your class. You peeked from your place, your breath caught. He didn't notice you, of course he didn't. He excused himself as he started walking towards the opposite direction, the crowd following close behind him and that's when it hit you, how far both of your lives had drifted. There he was, in the spotlight, surrounded by people who admired him while you stood behind the class doors, in the shadows, wondering, watching.
"Where are you?" Ava's voice rang through your headphones as you ordered your coffee from a local coffee shop. You paid the cashier and thanked him as you made your way out of the shop, "at the coffee shop, I'm going out for a bit." You could imagine her pouting on the other side of the phone, her voice whiny, "why are you going out alone? I would have loved to accompany you, don't forget you have me by your side okay?" You pursed your lips as you nodded at her words then realizing she couldn't possibly see you, "I know Ava, but I can't always depend on you right?" She opened her mouth to protest, "you can depend on me, I'm your only friend." You frowned but didn't disagree with her, it was true that she was your only friend, she has been the only one who saw you and has been by your side since the university started and you're glad that she stood beside you and helped you.
"I'll make it up to you okay?" She squealed at your remark, hanging up the phone before informing you about her nail appointment, your eyes unconsciously fell on your own hands, maybe you could get a manicure too. High school was hard after your breakup, with no one by your side but you got through it alone. Now, as you were older and wiser than your high school self, you started to enjoy your own company too. You sipped your coffee as you walked down the street, your feet leading you nowhere in particular when your eyes landed on the familiar mop of hair down the street. You stopped in your tracks, closing your eyes, you shook your head, when you opened your eyes there was no one in sight. You sighed, you're starting to hallucinate about Jay now, it wasn't good for your heart.
You continued your way down the street, ears picking up angry voices across the alleyway. You looked at your surroundings, not many people walk around nowadays. You told yourself you were just stretching your legs, but truthfully curiosity took the best of your senses and guided you across the alleyway where the voices became more clearer as you walked closer. You stood in the corner, your eyes squinting behind your glasses to take a closer look. "I want you to focus on your academics too, Jay. We don't want your silly little hobby to come in the way of your career." Your brows furrowed when your heart a high pitch feminine voice and a name so familiar you could write in your sleep.
You crane your head to get a glimpse of the scene. There stood Jay, his head hung low as he avoided the eyes of two older people, presumably his mom and dad as they lectured him in front of their car. "Your music is taking up more of your time than your academics, don't forget you're going to be the hire of our business, the sooner you realize this the better it will be for you." Your heart sank as they went on and on about Jay's choices and how disappointed they are at him. Your eyes followed his parent's car as it left, then trailed towards the boy who now was crouched down on the road. He took a few rocks from the ground and threw them across the road, his face visibly contoured with hurt and anger.
You took a step forward before deciding against it. You were eavesdropping, which you were sure wasn't welcomed with the scenario that unfolded right in front of your eyes, but watching him slump against the concrete wall, head between his hands, you wanted to comfort him, just like how he did when you were at your lowest. You wanted to help him, encourage him to not give up on his love for music just to satisfy his parents but with the image he had built around himself in the campus, it was impossible for you to just randomly show up to him to console. He would kill you with his stare before you even opened your mouth, so you decided to stay in the shadows and help him with his issues. By being a secret admirer, the book girlie inside of you was dancing in excitement.
Early morning in the campus was just how you imagined it would be, it carried a quiet kind of hush which felt too sacred to disturb. The sun had began to rise not long ago, casting long golden rays across the campus building, few of the students were scattered around the campus, you walked through the hallway which was nearly empty save for some lone students with headphones on or a book in hand, your footsteps were light but quick as you occasionally turned around to check in your surrounding. Your hands tightly clutched around your bag as you overworked your brain to map out the locker room in the building. You relaxed when you found the large 'Locker room' sign hung upon the metal rod, your eyes scanning the area nearby before entering inside.
Few of the students were busy with their own things inside the room, none of them paying attention towards you. Your eyes scanned the area, feet moving towards the locker you were determined to find, you causally scanned the names on the lockers, totally nonchalant if anyone asked you. Your steps came to a halt when you came across the 'Park Jongseong' locker. Peeking your head at the entrance to check anyone's presence one last time, you hurriedly took out the letter you had neatly packed inside an envelope and slid it inside the locker from the small gap that was present. Your hands trembled, heartbeat erratic as you stepped away and started walking towards the cafeteria, your head hung low as you zipped your bag.
You saw Jay pass by you with one of his band members, Heeseung, the vocalist as both of them animatedly chatted about something. Your eyes followed his features, he seemed to be far more relaxed as he laughed at something Heeseung said, that laugh almost reminded you of the night of the party. You wondered what they were doing in the campus early in the morning when your eyes landed on the new notice on the notice board along with various other banners which decorated the walls of the hallway. You stepped closer to have a clearer view of the notice displayed, Symphoria 25, the widely known college fest of your university.
Your eyes went back to Jay and Heeseung who were now entering the locker room, their backs turned towards you. Symphoria, you'd heard a lot about the college fest, it draws in thousands of people not just from the campus but from the city and beyond. A perfect opportunity to showcase your talent and get exposure. Maybe Jay and his band had started early morning practice to perfect their art for the fest, it was inevitable that they would participate in the fest. You checked the time on your phone, you still had a good 20 minutes before your class started so you made your way back towards the locker room, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jay to see if he got your letter or not.
The hallway had started filling in with the usual chatter of students, as soon as you were about to enter the locker room you caught Jay coming out of the room and in a reckless way to avoid facing him you turned around to run in the opposite direction. But luck wasn't by your side and your leg slipped and you fell, right in front of Jay, and his friend Heeseung. "Are you okay?" You recognized Heeseung's voice as he extended his hand for you to take. A few of the students gathered to watch the commotion. Your head was hung low, and you prayed the universe to swallow you whole instead of letting you face humiliation. You held Heeseung's hand to stand up, then immediately let go and hid your face with both of your hands.
Heeseung chuckled at your antics, finding your embarrassed self quite endearing, he looked at Jay whose eyes were trained on you, a subtle frown adorning his face, lips pursed together. Jay tilted his head as he watched, you peeked from the gaps in between your fingers, head still down, your eyes caught the sight of your letter in between his fingers, the letter still sealed neatly. "Hey don't be embarrassed, things like this happen every time," you turned towards Heeseung, your hands still on your face as you nodded at his words and bolted out of the place and towards your class.
Heeseung's eyes followed you till you turned around the corner, confusion etched upon his face like a question scribbled in a language he wasn't proficient in. He turned towards Jay, who was also looking at the direction you just ran to, his expressions blank but with a hint of curiosity behind his eyes. "I guess she was too humiliated to wait and talk, I genuinely thought she did this to have our attention," Heeseung broke the silence, making Jay look towards him. Now one would paint Heeseung as a stuck up individual after what he said, but it wasn't a regular sight for any of their band members to not have girls lining up to have a conversation with them, you'd be the first to avoid them all together. He was genuinely confused with your actions.
Your footsteps echoed off the walls of the hallway in frantic rhythm. Your hair sticking on your face and bag bouncing off your side. You reached towards your classroom door, slowing down just enough to avoid getting slammed on it. You slipped inside and scanned the room for an empty seat. Your chest raised and fell as you sat on an empty seat, you took deep breaths to look composed but the flush of your cheeks and the way your hands gripped the edge of the desk betrayed you. The professor entered the class and began the lecture but your mind drifted off towards the incident that happened back in front of the locker room. You slammed your head on the desk lightly to avoid attention, grimacing about how humiliating the incident was.
"You look tired, did you not get enough sleep?" You glanced towards Ava, who was happily munching her food while her doe eyes stared at you, "Yeah, couldn't sleep." She pouted at your words, shoving your shoulder lightly, "you should take care of yourself more, you worry me so much, you don't have anyone else other than me who takes care of you." You smiled awkwardly at her statement, internally grimacing. Her words are always sweet like honey, the kind that drips with warmth and affection until you realize what comes next, like she's trying to convince you that your light only shines when she's with you.
Your eyes wandered towards the cafeteria door when students started talking in hushed whispered and gasp, there they stood Heeseung, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon, the four members of band, HYPHENIX. Ava followed your gaze, vast smile etching on her face, "aren't they just dreamy? You think Sunghoon's single?" Your head turned towards her instinctively as her voice reached your ears, "since when are you interested in them?" You don't remember her gushing about the band before, sure they were pretty popular but Ava was too obsessed with cheer to ever focus on anything else. She just shrugged, not bothering to reply, you frowned, following her line of vision where Jay was seated with his bandmates.
Your breath hitched when you spotted the familiar looking envelope in Jay's hand, the seal broken off, he had read the letter. Your eyes traced from his hands to his face, watching, observing, like you always do. Jake was talking about something while nudging Jay, Heeseung throwing his back as he laughed and Sunghoon just shook his head, amused by his friends. Jay smiled softly, his eyes still trained on the letter in his hands, playing with its edges gently. You haven't seen him smile like that ever since you saw him, his expressions always so distant and reserved, one would think twice before approaching him. You could tell you weren't the only person to witness it when you heard whispers around you.
"Wow I never knew he could smile like that!", "so the icy guitarist of HYPHENIX knows how to smile?", "is that a letter in his hand? A love letter maybe?", "didn't think of him as the romantic type."
You turned your head back towards your food when you felt Jay's gaze travel towards your table, you hid your face by keeping your palm over half of your face. "Oh my Jay's looking towards me," your eyes met Ava's as she exclaimed happily, gathering attention from a few of the students sitting nearby. More whispers started arising after her exclamation cause indeed Park Jay was looking towards your table, at who? You weren't sure. Your mind unconsciously drifted towards the time when you fell down in front of Heeseung and Jay, and you hoped he didn't remember how you looked.
"Yah Jay you keep on looking at the envelope like it will come alive and tell you who sent you this..." You were making your way towards the last class of the day when you heard Jay's name, looking up you saw the music room sign above the closed door. You walked towards the half opened window trying to listen to what they were talking about. From where you were perched up, you could see Jay's side profile, Jake standing in front of him, you could see half of Sunghoon's face and Heeseung's back, all huddled up with their respective instruments in their hands. "I really wanna know who wrote this, I mean their words hit so close, it instantly lifted his mood as soon as he read it," Heeseung followed as others nodded. Your heart skipped a beat, you stepped away from the window. They said he loved your letter, that it instantly lifted his mood. You smiled sheepishly, a new skip in your step as you made your way towards your class.
Maybe you could continue to support him like this, silently, from afar, without the fear of getting rejected. He would be aware that there's someone who silently has his back, and you wouldn't have to worry about being the center of attention. And that's what you did, you wrote letters for him, every week. Words you couldn't say out loud found a home on paper wrapped in a plain envelope. You poured your admiration, your care, and all the quiet things you felt into the letters. You slipped them into his locker, or tucked between library books you knew he'd borrow, each note was a small piece of your heart, anonymous but sincere. You watched him smile at the words, never knowing they were yours. He would sometimes write back to you, placing his letters inside the library book he last borrowed and when he would come and check the next time, he would smile at its disappearance. He would know you got his letter when you'd mention it in your next one. And somehow, that was enough.
And the campus was big but apparently not big enough to keep your little secret in between you and him. It wasn't the letters that caught everyone's attention, it was him. Jay had always been stoic, guarded, the kind of person who kept people at arm's length, never too close but lately that shifted. He smiled more, his posture relaxed, he didn't shoot anyone with his icy glare for merely talking with him. He lingered longer near his locker, reading something in his hands. His bandmates noticed the recurrence of the letters first then few of his admirers. Questions flooded in their minds, was the guitarist of HYPHENIX finally seeing someone? Who would be the lucky person to capture the heart of someone who never showed interest in dating? And If he was getting interested in someone then who's this mystery person?
And then one afternoon, someone overheard Jay talking with Sunghoon, his voice low as he murmured something along the lines of, "I received yet another letter today, they just know what to say to make my heart skip a bit." Hushed conversations between close friends, fell upon wrong ears and soon enough the campus buzzed with new gossip about this secret admirer of Jay. The talk wasn't about Jay anymore, they were more about what made Jay change, about the anonymous person who poured their heart out on the letters, about how the coldest guy on the campus might have someone who has enough warmth that melts his walls. And how maybe, just maybe, he was starting to care about those letters more.
With each letter you wrote, your feelings for him kept on getting more intense and with all the gossip surrounding you about your own letters you wondered how Jay would react if he ever found out who was behind those letters. It didn't help that Ava seemed to be getting more interested in Jay's love life than focusing on her cheerleading auditions. You had to constantly hear her gush about this mystery admirer of Jay and how an anonymous person was getting more recognition than she ever could even if she tried her best. "Popularity shouldn't be your goal, being good at what you do should be!" You remember explaining this to her when she kept on complaining about how privileged the popular people are with everything.
She wasn't wrong entirely, everything around the campus depended upon how good you were with something and ultimately how much audience you bought with it. Maybe she wasn't wrong about not getting into cheerleading yet because she wasn't famous enough to make the cut and not because she was just decent enough for the sport. Ava is attractive, has friends from every block of the campus, yet she somehow always sticks to you. She goes to parties, easily becomes the center of the room but somehow it's not enough, it's never enough. There's always someone who is prettier, more talented, more popular who steals her show and you get her. Perhaps that's the reason you let her guide and lead your university life instead of trying and failing to meet new people who would befriend you.
For the next few weeks when you walked down your campus, every corner was slowly transformed into a living stage. The air surrounding last-minute rehearsals, buzz of sound checks vibrating against your ear drums, every corner of the university was filled with excitement. Symphoria wasn't just a college fest, it was an emotion, a movement held towards rising artists and their talents. By day the fest was filled with different stalls, and artists showcasing their raw talents to sharpen it for the night show. By the time the night arrives, the main stage would come alive with performances that shake the ground. You were excited to attend the last show of the fest as it was the night HYPHENIX would perform, the most talked about and most awaited performance of the whole fest.
You made your way towards the locker room early in the morning to place the letter inside for Jay to read before his performance. This time though, you had bought a little bouquet of red roses to cheer him up a little with a note that is addressed to him in case someone else misplaced it. You couldn't open his locker enough to put the flowers inside so you decided to keep it above the locker. You walked out of the locker room before anyone could see you, leaving letters inside his locker had gotten a bit difficult with all the attention from the campus. Yet you woke up extra early to not get caught and cheer Jay up for his performance.
You made your way towards the library to finish the rest of your assignments, dropping a message to Ava about meeting you in the cafeteria during lunch. You sat down, opening your laptop to get started. The library was relatively empty, not many students were in the mood to study when there's literal fest going on around the campus. You wondered if Jay will even have time to open his locker today, you heard they had been practicing extra hard for this performance. Lunch time rolled around but Ava still didn't reply to your text, you tried calling but no answer so you ate alone. You made your way towards the locker room to check on the flowers and letters, when you reached there was none, it made you smile at the thought that he received it before his performance just how you wanted.
The evening started off with a blast, you made your way near the left side of the main stage. You look around to find Ava in the crowd and even send a few messages of your location in case she decides to find you. You frowned at her behavior, she was so excited to attend today's show, some of her favorite people were performing, not to forget her constantly ranting about being excited to watch HYPHENIX's performance. They were the last act to perform, everyone from the campus gathered around to watch you with banners in their hands. You crane your head to see if they are coming.
They walked on the stage, your eyes landed on Jay and suddenly the crowd didn't matter. They got in their position, the noise faded, the lights dimmed around everyone else but them and you stood frozen in your spot, eyes never leaving his silhouettes. Heeseung led up to the mic, the crowd erupted, waves of cheers and reckless energy filled up the air, but your eyes were locked on Jay. Jake, the drummer chimed in and suddenly the world was nothing but sound. Jay's guitar and Sunghoon's keyboard roared to life, drums thundered beneath your feet, and the music hit you like a memory you didn't know you'd been holding onto. It wasn't just some random noise pieced together, it was emotion, pouring from the stage and crashing into you like fire and rain.
You watched them, the way their fingers moved on their instruments, how Heeseung's voice danced a high note, how they closed their eyes like the song was something they felt, not just performed and in that moment, it felt personal like somehow, they were singing straight to you. The lights flashed on the stage, the chorus soared. People around you screamed and swayed, but you stood still, like you were spellbound. It was more than music. It was a moment you didn't want to end and in that moment, nothing existed but the stage, the sound, and the feeling of you falling deeper and deeper for Jay.
You felt a wave of emotion so overwhelming that tears strung in your eyes, their performance ended and they bid their goodbyes. The crowd cheered, you were sure they would be the talk of campus if not city for a whole year. Jay looked happy as he made his way backstage and before you could think your feet led you towards the back of the stage to catch a glimpse of him, it was one of the important parts of his musical career after all, you could at least muster up the courage to congratulate him. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be bad to introduce yourself into his life as someone he once met at a random high school party. You were about to enter backstage when a volunteer bumped into you, all the papers in his hands flying everywhere. You managed to apologize to him as you helped him with the papers but your eyes were somewhere else, in search of a person you couldn't get a hold of.
You made your way deeper into the back of the stage, volunteers and performers going on about their works. You located Jake and Sunghoon at the far corner of the stage, Heeseung sitting close beside as they wore brightest smiles and talked with each other about something. You tried finding Jay, your heart beating fast as you tried finding someone who would tell you about his whereabouts. "Uh-hello, do you know where Jay went? The guitarist from HYPHENIX?" The girl randomly pointed towards the exit of the backstage, you thanked her before following the direction she gave. As soon as you were out of the door, the coolness of the night air made you shiver.
Your footsteps slowed, the moonlight casted a soft glow on your face, yet it was still relatively dark. You took a step forward, then another, then you heard voices, familiar and close. Your steps halted when you caught two silhouettes standing close to each other, then your world stopped. One second they were talking, Jay and Ava, the next second his hands were on her neck, pulling her close. Ava stepped forward, her hands reaching for his shirt to stabilize herself. Your hands didn't drop your phone, but it slipped a little in your grip as your breath stilled. A sharp pain sliced in your chest, the silence of the surroundings more louder than the ringing in your ears.
It felt like someone pierced their hand in your heart and squeezed it without any care, like your soul has been ripped apart without any warning. You felt the kind of pain that didn't echo, it throbbed in your chest, deep and ugly. You blinked once, twice, then again for good measure, hoping and praying this was just an illusion, a misunderstanding but it wasn't. It was real. Jay and Ava, kissing each other like the world around them didn't exist anymore. You stood there, watching him hold her like he's afraid if she let go she'll disappear. Your eyes landed on the bouquet of red roses in Jay's hand, the one you brought for him, confusion and hurt etched upon your face, unable to comprehend anything.
Neither of them noticed your presence, they didn't see the way your hands trembled and how your lips parted slightly like your body was trying to breathe through the ache in your heart. They didn't see the way your eyes glossed over with a kind of hurt you knew would take years to heal. You took a step back, suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, the distant sound of people leaving the campus, the humid air, the floor beneath your shoes. You turned around, mind still hazy, eyes unfocused, you stepped on an empty water bottle. Then you hear a soft call of your name, you shut your eyes closed as if it would somehow help you disappear from the unwanted moment you tried to avoid. You heard footsteps coming closer and decided you couldn't possibly excuse your way out of this uncomfortable situation so you took a deep breath and turned back around.
Your eyes landed on Jay before they could even acknowledge Ava, he tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched you. Ava's voice broke your attention from him, she made her way towards you, her arms enveloping one of yours as she beamed at Jay. "This is my best friend Jay," He smiled in your direction, your heart skipped a bit and Ava continued while looking at you, "I told him the truth, that I wrote those letters for him, I couldn't help myself from confessing to him after today's performance, you are proud of me right? I finally got the love of my life." You never once broke your gaze away from Jay as you listened to Ava go on and on about something which you both know she didn't do. You silently listened to her take the credit for the things you did, Jay's smile was wide as he looked at Ava and just like that you couldn't bring yourself to tell the truth.
"Let me drive you both home, it's too late to go by yourself." You sucked in a breath, your head turned towards Ava who nodded enthusiastically at Jay's suggestion. "I'll manage to go by myself, I don't really live too far," Jay shook his head at your words, "It's my responsibility to take care of my girlfriend's loved ones, wouldn't dream of getting on your bad side." Ava chuckled at Jay's words as she leaned against his arms, his own hands slipping on her shoulder pulling her close. You felt like throwing up, you needed answers. Jay pulled out his phone to inform his band members that he'll be leaving first and joining them later.
Reluctantly you agreed with Jay after Ava forced you to say yes and now you were seated in the back of Jay's car as you watched him act lovey-dovey with his supposed secret admirer. Ava's home arrived first and Jay got off to kiss her goodbye, you sighed, lending your head on the window wondering how you were supposed to get through with this. Jay entered the car, you were still sitting on the backseat. He eyed you from the rearview, "I think I've seen you before." You looked at Jay when you heard his voice, contemplating on whether to tell him that he did see you before or not, "well, we go to the same campus...." You trailed off softly, not really minding if he could hear your answer or not, your mind was haywire with everything that happened today anyway.
Jay took one last look at you before shaking his head, chuckling lightly and agreeing with your words. You sent a quick text to Ava about wanting to have a talk with her about the stunt she pulled and she replied she'll tell you tomorrow. You felt the car come to a halt and you straightened up, eyes taking in the familiar surroundings of your apartment, you thanked Jay but he stopped you. He got out of the car and towards your door and opened it, "you don't have to do all this, Jay." But you smiled at his sweet gesture regardless and got out of his car. He bid you goodbye and went off as you watched his car retrieve from your apartment's parking lot.
You couldn't sleep the whole night, mind racing with all sorts of things. The sight of them kissing each other playing in front of your eyes like a mere flashback from a dream you wish you never had, cruelly brought to life. You tossed and turned in your bed, but neither the tears stopped nor did the hollow feeling creeping up your chest. You decided you can't take it anymore, your fingers tapping on Ava's number before you could think. It was late at night, her parents were probably asleep but they always had a soft spot for you. She picked up the phone on the last ring, her voice groggy.
"What are you trying to do? We both know you didn't write those letters..." you heard some shuffling from her end, "right I didn't, but who cares?" You frowned at her nonchalant answer, "the one who wrote the letter might come forward and expose you Ava, it won't end well for you, did you not hear how Jay is?" She groaned at your words, "well if the person was brave enough they wouldn't have pulled this secret admirer shit, I need Jay to get in the cheer team, this is my chance." You sighed, rubbing your forehead as it had started aching, "your relationship is based on lies Ava, it won't do you good, trust me. You're hurting someone else while trying to reach your goals-"
"Don't nag at me, I've already taken the leap so there's no going back, I like Jay and I want to be with him so let it go...just for once, for me, let it go please..." you sighed but stayed silent wondering if you were strong enough to watch Jay be with Ava when she clearly was using him just to gain popularity while pretending to be you, Ava continued when she didn't hear anything from your side, "I'm your best friend, I never asked you to do anything for me, please ignore what I did just this once, I'll treat him right I swear." You cut the call after talking to her for some more time, things got messier than they were supposed to be, and you wondered how things will unfold from now on.
Earlier attending university was something you looked forward to as the constant chattering of students, the latest gossip, the various events and classes helped you ignore how lonely you actually were. But now everywhere you go, there is at least one person talking about the perfect couple Ava and Jay. You tried your best to ignore but you couldn't as Ava started gaining popularity now that Jay won't leave her side whenever he isn't with his bandmates. And you, despite wanting to lay low and finish your degree quietly, were unwillingly dragged into the Ava-Jay love drama since you were her so-called best friend.
Being best friend of not so famous Ava was hard, but being her best friend after she got famous was harder. People randomly started approaching you to gain latest information about their relationship or how they behave out of the campus. They bombarded you with questions about Ava and what she liked and disliked, like you were some kind of assistant they could get information from. It was annoying, and downright disrespectful. You never wanted the spotlight but even if you did, you knew you wouldn't be happy by being labelled as someone's girlfriend's best friend. It was inconvenient at first, then it became blatantly dehumanizing when people started suggesting Ava to be with someone of her 'level' that you were just some charity case of a friend for her. What hurt you the most was Ava's reactions to those things, she just laughed with them, like she couldn't see how disrespectful people were towards you. So naturally you tried your best to ignore her and her 'well-wishers' all together.
"Come on, don't be like that! Jay has told me to make sure you'll be present at the celebration party of their successful performance at the college fest, you know how big of a deal it is for him and his friends," you continued typing your essay as Ava sat on the edge of your bed, begging you to attend the party. "I'll see if I can go...I'm not sure though..." she stomped her feet as she made her way towards your desk, hands sliding into yours to get your attention on her, "please? We haven't spent time together since so long," you sighed, releasing her hold from your hand, "it's because you're always so busy with your cheer, or Jay, or your new friends and not because I don't have time for you."
"It's not like that, you don't like being around people, I can't always cater to your needs right? You should be considerate towards me too, you're so mean," you close your laptop after saving your document and look at her as she begins gathering her things. "I didn't mean it like that Ava-" "I'll give you space, you don't seem to be in a good mood, think about your decision, I'll wait for you at the party and if you won't come I won't go either." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already out of the door. You put your head in your hands as you pulled at your hair, deciding sleeping would be best for now since you had class in early morning.
Attending early morning class felt like stepping into a world half-asleep. Your brain lagged behind as the professor went on and on about topics you were too tired to pay attention to. One of your hands grip on the coffee cup like your life depends on it and other drawing doodles on the margins of the notebook you had opened to take notes. Your eyes hurt and stifle a yawn, thanking the universe when the professor concludes the class. You check your schedule, there's still a 30 minute gap before your next, maybe you could get a refill of your coffee to go on about your day. You smiled to yourself when you stepped out of the class, feeling accomplished that you managed to survive the morning class as you made your way towards the cafe near your university for your daily dose of coffee.
"Hey!" You turned around halfway through the campus when you heard someone call out to you, "in a rush?" Jay waved at you as he made his way towards you, his guitar slung over one shoulder, his smile was easy-going as he finally stopped right in front of you. Sweat formed in your hands as you gulped, "you need something from me? I haven't heard from Ava since yesterday so I don't know where she is..." He laughed slightly, motioning you to continue your walk as he stepped beside you, "no, I'm not here to ask you about Ava, though I know I used to do that a lot but I'm here to talk with you about something else." You looked at him then immediately looked forward because how can you be this close to him and act sane? You adjusted your glasses on your face in nervousness.
"Then what are you here for?" He looked at you, biting his lips in thought and you tore your eyes away to not stare for too long. "For the party...." you halted your steps when you reached the cafe, Jay opened the door and held it for you. You meekly thanked him before entering the cafe, "what about it?" Jay ordered his coffee and you ordered yours, he paid for both the drinks before you could even open your bag to get your purse. "After our performance at Symphoria, we've got quite a few gigs and events to perform at, not to forget it's the day Ava finally confessed to me about writing those letters," you suck in your breath as both of you made your way out of the cafe and back into the university's campus.
He continued, "those letters have helped me a lot, I was going through a tough time but they helped me so much, and they also inspired us to deliver that performance at the fest. So the success of that performance means a lot to my bandmates, me and Ava alike, and since you're her best friend, I need you to be a part of it." He took a few strides forward and turned towards you making you stop your walk, "please? Attend it for me?" You sighed, attend it for Jay? Now you could do that, but you weren't sure if you'd be able to watch them without losing your sanity. "I'm not a party person, Jay and it doesn't help that Ava has other friends to be with, she won't always be by my side and I don't want to hold her back.."
He shook his head dismissing your words before you could elaborate further on how pathetic you'd look trying to enjoy the party alone, a party you don't even want to be at, "I'll be by your side then, all throughout the party hm? I'll make sure you won't feel lonely, I promise." He held out his pinky finger in front of you and if you were being honest he looked so silly you wished you could click a picture but you just sighed, eyes switching from his hands to his face, he looked at you expectantly, "I take pinky promises seriously," the corners of your lips twitched a little as you raised your hand to lock your pinky finger with his. He pulled you close, grinning widely, "thank you for coming, Ava and I would love to have you there," he ruffled your hair before jogging off towards the university's music room.
You faced the mirror, one last time, running your fingers through your hair, you opened your phone, Jay's and Ava's messages lying one above the other, both reminding you to not forget about the party. You fixed your glasses, a hint of irritation seeping in your features as you scanned your reflection, if you ditched your glasses for looks then you won't be able to enjoy the party in HD, but the glasses made you look like the loser you always need to read about in your books. You huffed a breath, reminding yourself about your no more stereotyping rule, your phone started buzzing. You looked at the caller ID, Ava.
"Hey!" You put your phone away from your ear to recheck the called ID, still Ava, "hello?" You questioned as you chew on your lips, "it's me Jay...Ava's phone was in my hand so I called you from her phone, I asked Sunghoon to pick you up from your apartment and I think he would reach in 10 minutes or so, I just called to inform you that.." you heartbeat quickened after hearing Jay's voice, then you registered the words that left his mouth, "Sunghoon? In 10 minutes? I could've taken a cab, he didn't have to leave the party for me, I feel bad." You could hear the music blasting in the background and you wondered if he could even hear you, "nah, I wanted to come pick you up myself since I invited you but my hands are full right now so I asked Sunghoon, and I don't want you to travel alone in the dark, it's not safe out there. See you soon, Ava and I are waiting for you."
You stood in front of your apartment building awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers as you waited for Sunghoon's car to pull up. He didn't take much time, arriving fairly on time. He got out of his seat, his height making you take a few steps back so you don't have to hurt your neck while talking to him. He gave you a smile, his eyes landing on your heel-cladded feet before they locked once again with your eyes. You subconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear, blushing up your cheeks under his intense gaze. He offered you his hand, and you held it after looking at it for two seconds too long. He led you towards the passenger's seat, opened the door and guided you inside the car. You thanked him, a giddy smile plastered on your face as you reminded yourself that this was the supposed bare minimum, but then your thoughts went back to the same high school party where your then boyfriend didn't even look at you, much less open doors for you.
Sunghoon's car reflected his personality, sleek, dark, and polished to perfection. The smell of leather seats of the car mixed with a faint scent of his cologne, and music turned low enough to barely register. You fasten your seatbelt and watch him start the car from your peripheral vision. He didn't say much, and from the time you've noticed him you realized he wasn't a man for many words but whenever he did speak, the attention would be on him. You let yourself relax on the seat and he glanced at your movements briefly. "Thank you for picking me up, you didn't have to, but thank you regardless," You saw him shake his head at your words, a small, barely visible smile dancing on his lips, "it's fine, wouldn't want a pretty girl like you to travel alone at night." You choked on the air, shocked at his words, he laughed loudly, his fang-like teeth showing just enough to make you question if he was just teasing or being serious.
"You're teasing me, didn't think of you as a type to do that," He looked at your pouty face briefly before his attention went back onto the road, "you're easier to tease somehow, but I wasn't teasing when I said you're pretty." He didn't look at you to see your reaction, but your eyes were trained on his profile. His skin was pale, smooth like porcelain under the car's light, his lips full and precise, there was a cold grace to him, and even when he said nothing, he seemed to speak in presence, posture poised, expression unreadable, a flick of his gaze enough to silence a room. He got out of the car when he reached Jay's apartment where the party was in full blast, he helped you get out of the car and led you towards the main door of Jay's house.
"This place feels familiar," you mutter under your breath, Sunghoon looks at you, his head tilted in your direction, leaning in slightly to hear you better over the gradually increasing noise of music blasting through the speakers as you walk. You shake your head at him, laughing awkwardly as you try to figure out the weird feeling in your stomach. The door bursts open even before Sunghoon's hand stretches enough to open it for you, and your breath is knocked off as Jay stands in front of you, an easy going smile etched upon his face. "I'm glad you're here..." he smiles so bright that it's almost impossible to not mirror his smile, like he's genuinely glad you're there to celebrate. "I had to be," your eyes wander off towards Sunghoon who is now standing beside Jay, leaning on the doorframe watching you two, "you left me with little choices to make."
Sunghoon lightly chuckled as those words left your mouth, shaking his lightly at your silent jab at Jay's stubborn behavior he made his way inside the house, leaving you standing alone with Jay. "Where's Ava?" You questioned when you didn't find her waiting for you beside Jay, he sighed, head turning back to look towards the ongoing party, "she must be somewhere, I still have her phone on me, but she's nowhere to be found." You frowned hearing his statement and he quickly made space for you to enter the party, "she gets like that after drinking, she wanders off and suddenly you lose track of her." Jay chuckled at your response still his eyes scanned to room for his girlfriend's presence.
"Jay?" You softly called him, he hummed in return leaning slightly towards you to hear you better. You held your breath as you looked at him, his eyes still wandering across the room to find Ava but then slowly his eyes turned towards you, your lips twitched when his eyes locked in with yours and you gulped before continuing, "go find her, you don't really have to be by my side all night." Jay chuckled at your words, straightening up, he hooked his index finger on the bracelet of your wrist, "well you don't have anything else to do so please help me find my beloved girlfriend," and he pulled you with him into the crowd.
You take in the scene, you spot some familiar faces in the crowd, laughing, drinking, talking with each other. Your heels tap against the floor and you walk exactly behind Jay as he makes room for both of you to walk. The lights flicker in bursts of neon, casting an exciting glow on the crowd. The buzz of conversations rise and fall, people too drunk or too indulgent in the mood to care about the surroundings. You catch a glimpse of Jake talking with some people, beside him Sunghoon and Heeseung are involved in deep conversation about something only they know. Your eyes fall upon where Jay's finger is hooked upon your bracelet, a sigh leaves your lips and in a moment of distraction your shoulder bumps into someone and you lose your balance slightly.
You hold onto Jay's shoulder with one hand to regain your balance and he stops in his tracks, eyes narrowing towards the person you stumbled into, "try to look where you are going next time." The person just waves his hand, mumbling apologies incoherently as he backs off towards the opposite direction. You feel Jay's hand curl around your wrist, firmly and when you lift your head up, he's already looking at you. "You walk in front of me now, you're wearing heels, if you sprain your leg it will hurt like a bitch." You laugh slightly at his tone, his hand pulling you gently towards him and he positions himself right behind you. He's still holding your wrist, his other hand giving your shoulder a slight push to get you walking.
He's so close behind, you could faintly feel his breath on your shoulder. Your eyes scan for your best friend and you turn around towards Jay when you spot her sitting in a corner with few people, drinking happily and laughing with her whole body, "she's there, I think you should get her, I'll get something to drink for myself in the kitchen." Jay's eyes follow the path your finger is pointed at, he sighed in relief, nodding in your direction and making his way towards her. You don't have the courage to watch him go towards her so you make your way inside the kitchen, your hand tracing the spot which Jay held not too long ago. You poured yourself some soft drink, not really in the mood to drink just yet.
"Are you a baby?" You flinched slightly, turning to your side only to find Sunghoon leaning against the counter not too far from you as he poured himself a drink. Your eyebrows furrowed at his words, he looks at you, slowly making his way close to you, "only babies drink soft drinks." You roll your eyes, free hand fixing your glasses. He chuckled lightly, amused at your behavior. "I'm not a baby Mr. Park," he laughed loudly, "that's exactly what a baby would say, your pouty lips and puffed up cheeks aren't helping your case pretty." You immediately straightened up, lips pursed and face blank as you gave him a deadpan look, "I'm not a baby..." He turned around towards the counter, he mixed a few drinks from the table and slided the red solo up towards you.
"You don't seem like a type to drink frequently but trust me with this one, my friends say I'm quite good with drinks." You throw him a suspicious look, hand curling around the cup, you bring it closer to your face to inspect. "What are you both ?" Your head snapped towards the voice, Jay and Ava joining you two as Sunghoon settled beside you, his drink already half empty. "I'm trying to get her to loosen up a bit, she's always so tense." Jay's eyes narrow at his friend's words, "you don't have to drink if you don't want to," You shake your head at Jay's words and you're about to reply when Ava cuts you off, "oh my god! I've tried to get her to start drinking but she always declines me," then her eyes fall upon Sunghoon, a faint smirk forming on her lips.
"I literally made this in front of her, will you try it for me pretty? Just a taste, you won't have to continue to drink it if you don't like it." Ava's smile fell as soon as Sunghoon's attention shifted from her to you, his eyes soft as he looked at you expectantly. Jay sighed from where he was standing, his hand sliding across Ava's waist as he leaned his weight slightly on her, "Sunghoon, if she's not comfortable-" Sunghoon's hand reached forward towards your hand, which was sporting the red solo cup, he gently curled his fingers around your hand and brought the cup towards his mouth, never breaking eye contact with you as he took a sip from your cup, "there, I'm alive, now your turn, just a sip pretty."
You exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding, fingers trembling slightly under Sunghoon's. You brought the cup near you, eyes darting around the other three before you took a tentative sip from the drink. Your eyes widened, a smirk forming on Sunghoon's face, "it'd good right?" You nodded your head with more enthusiasm than you initially wanted to show. Sunghoon laughed, releasing his hold from your hand, eyes falling upon the couple in front of him with smug confidence, "I told ya I'm good at it." Jay gave you a small smile, "you sure you like it?" You nodded your head again, taking yet another sip from the cup and gulping down the whole drink. Sunghoon whistled slowly, feeling proud of himself.
Ava looked at you, "you never drink when I offer...you're so rude and mean to me." Jay sighed pulling her closer, "some people need guidance during their first drinks baby, Sunghoon is good at that. It's not about her being mean to you." From where you stood, you could tell Ava wanted this conversation to go like it did with other people, with them agreeing to every word that spilled from her cherry lips, "want me to make you another one?" You tore your eyes away from Ava and turned towards Sunghoon, "please? This is the first time I'm actually enjoying a drink." And just like that, the night stretched ahead, you smiled to yourself, anticipation settling deep inside you for the night.
"You're tipsy, how many drinks did you have?" You were perched upon the balcony, looking over people who were playing in the pool and around it when Ava's voice cut through the silence. You hummed, standing up and leaning against the railings to have a good look at Jay's house. Your eyes trailed towards the other side of his backyard where people were roaming around, casually. "Is that a gazebo?" You muttered to yourself, leaning in more, squinting your eyes, your glasses slipping off a little. "You're going to fall down if you keep on leaning on the railings like that," you looked down towards the ground, Jay waving off his hand to signal you to back off a little.
"I won't fall," you yelled back, laughing as you fixed your glasses back. Jay shook his head, one hand on his hips while the other massaged his temple, "come down, bring Ava with you." You pouted at his words but still stepped back, holding Ava's hand in yours, you dragged her towards the pool. "Hello ladies, wanna go for a swim?" You smiled at Jake when he approached you both, you released Ava's hand when Jay stood by her side. "Don't wanna," Ava whined as Jay tried to persuade her to join. You looked away, smiling at Jake as you swayed a little, he chuckled at your dazed out state and offered his hand for you to hold. "I'm good though, I don't need your support, but since you're being so nice and offering me your help, I'll take it." Jake laughed as he guided you towards the edge of the pool.
Heeseung joined you and Jake, offering you water, "you wanna go for a swim?" You denied Heeseung's suggestion, eyes looking at the pool as you pouted, "I can't swim." Jake mimicked your expressions, but he looked like a kicked puppy more than a sulky one. You laughed, stepping forward and pinching his cheeks, "you're cute Jake." His eyes widened at your actions before turning into an icy glare when Heeseung slumped forward trying to control his laughter. Jay, Ava and Sunghoon joined you three as the boys teased Jake and occasionally your non swimmer self. You felt at ease, you were expecting to be crying in your apartment by now but you were glad it wasn't like that. None of Jay's friends left you alone, each sharing some moments with you. And by spending your time with them you realized why they are so likeable.
You were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, Ava still beside you. The boys were already playing in the pool, your eyes drifted towards Sunghoon and Heeseung who were now seated on the opposite edge of the pool making fun of Jake who was now being chased by Jay for trying to drown him. Sunghoon's eyes locked with yours and his lips moved to say something, in your own haze you couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say so you got up, edging closer towards the pool, "what did you say?" Sunghoon laughed at your confused self and you pouted. He opened his mouth to repeat what he said when you felt a pair of hands press hard against your back.
Your heart stuttered, feet losing contact with the ground. Your confusion quickly turned into terror and the next thing you knew, your body hit the water. The water was colder than you expected, it swallowed you whole. The noises of the surrounding vanished, replied by a deafening silence. Your hands flailed, legs kicking in panic. Your lungs felt like they were going to collapse, your mouth filled with the taste of chlorine and fear. A pair of arms circled around your waist, pulling your body towards the surface. You gasped as you were finally able to breathe, your chest aching. Someone took off your glasses from your face, your hands grabbing onto the person's shoulder like you were afraid they would let go.
You felt someone else chiming in to help, pushing you on the edge as few people surrounded you. Your vision slightly blurry as you tried to ground yourself, "Ava are you crazy? Why would you push your own best friend into the pool when you clearly know she can't swim?" You were sure that it was Sunghoon who yelled at Ava for her reckless behavior, your head turned towards your left to see Jay by your side, one of his hands was cradling your head while the other removed hair from your face. You turner your head towards the right where Sunghoon was still going off on Ava, her shoulders slumped as she tried to reason out, "I thought it would be fun-"
"Fun?" Ava's eyes turned towards you, her eyes widening at Jay's sharp tone. He helped you sit up straight, Jake crouching beside you to wrap you in a towel. You shivered, because of the water or Jay's expression, you didn't know. Jay helped you get up and sit down on the chair, your legs trembling slightly. His hand slipped around your waist. "Is this your idea of fun, Ava? She could've gotten into serious trouble if I wasn't swimming near her." You looked at her, wishing to find remorse in her eyes but all you saw was humiliation and anger as she glared at you. She turned around, making her way back into the house.
"I'm so sorry about that, you aren't hurt right?" You shook your head, lips trembling slightly, "I'm fine, just a little shock that's it." Jay nodded at your words, sighing as he took in his surroundings. "You guys go enjoy the party inside, I'll take care of this." He motioned Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon to lead the crowd back inside. "Take care of yourself, yeah?" Sunghoon requested before going back inside with everyone else. "You aren't responsible for her actions, plus she didn't mean to do it in the wrong way, she's always been like that..." Jay's eyes snapped towards you in lightning speed, "that still doesn't mean what she did was right, you could've gotten seriously hurt."
You shivered again when the wind passed by you, your head was starting to spin. "I'll bring you some dried clothes, you'll catch fever otherwise," You nodded at his words, your chest and throat aching. Jay lifted your face with his hand on your chin, your breath hitched at the proximity. He slipped on your glasses, adjusting it on your face for you. "Thank you," you mumbled, not daring to say it louder, "I can see you clearly now." Jay laughed, losing his balance on the chair, you extended your hand and he happily grabbed it to balance himself. "I'm glad you can see me now." You laughed with him, amused by everything that unfolded in today's party.
You were perched on the bench beneath the tree on the university's campus. Scrolling through your phone in search of something to distract you while you wait for your next class to start. You looked up at the tree above you, its green leaves falling upon you inconveniently. You packed your belongings back in your bag, pocketed your phone and remembered you had to borrow some books from the library for research purposes. "You seem to be so at peace after wreaking havoc in my life," you turned towards the source of voice, frowning at the way Ava walked towards you, eyes scrutinizing your presence. "What are you saying?"
"The pool wasn't even that deep, Jay and his friends were swimming in it just fine, why did you have to overreact like that, do you even know how much Jay has been lecturing me about that incident?" Ava huffed as she reached near you, crossing her arms and waiting for your reply as if you were a murderer waiting for your conviction. "They could swim just fine because they knew how to swim, if that's your logic why didn't you jump in the pool? You also don't know how to swim right?" Her expression flattered, hands going on her hips as she scoffed at your words, "you know I care about you, I didn't do it because I wanted to harm you, yet I'm the bad guy here, how would I know you'd end up like that?"
You rolled your eyes at her words, but the slight pity in your heart for her was overpowering your senses, "why would you even push me there in the first place?" She stomped her leg, pouting at you as if you denied her favorite candy, "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, tell Jay and his friends that you forgave me okay? Bye." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already walking away from you. Finding the boys wasn't very hard considering they spent most of their free time in the music room. You took in a deep breath before you knocked on the door. You pushed open the door, peeking in to see if it was occupied, Jake was the first person your eyes landed on, beside him sat Heeseung, both of them pausing mid-discussion. Sunghoon sat a few feet away, hands on his keyboard and beside him sat Jay, his guitar on his lap.
You stood at the doorway, not exactly sure why you even decided to entertain Ava's idea but you did it, so she won't have another reason to whine at you and also because you wanted to have some reason to be near Jay, even for a while. "Don't stand there looking like a lost puppy, you planning on coming in?" Your internal monologue ended quickly as Heeseung words rang in your ears. You awkwardly shuffled inside, closing the door behind. "Um-" You started, internally criticising yourself for not thinking through before you entered. Your eyes wandered towards the boys sitting in the room, four pairs of eyes, all focused towards you.
"Come sit here pretty," blush rose upon your cheeks as Sunghoon pointed towards the empty chair beside Jay, you nodded sheepishly, and made yourself comfortable. You were about to start saying something when your eyes landed on them, everyone just went back on doing what they were doing previously like you weren't present there at all, your brows furrowed in confusion and you wondered if you should say what you wanted to say or just slip out of the room. "Guys-" And just like that, everyone's attention was back on you, "yeah?" Jake urged you to continue and you shifted in your seat to turn towards Jay.
"I just wanted to say that the pool incident wasn't that big of a deal, things like that happen when you're trying to play pranks with your friends anyway," you laughed awkwardly, "I don't want you to be upset with Ava because of that." There was a brief moment of silence after you finished what you wanted to say, the silent stretching long enough for you to start rambling again, "she's a very good friend, she has always been by my side when I had no one, she can be a bit childish at times but she's sweet at heart-" "Are you trying to tell that to us or yourself pretty?"
"You, ofcourse." You answered quickly, but fidgeting with your hands was a dead giveaway of your real feelings. Jay put his guitar at his side, sighing once before turning to look at you, "did Ava ask you to do this?" You shook your head no, one hand raising to fix your glasses in place. "I saw you talking with her-" "Oh my God, you did?" "I was lying but you busted your own lie with this one." Your shoulders slumped in defeat, "okay maybe I did come to you because she told me but I was about to do that regardless." You blinked at them, smiling and waiting for them to say something, "you wounded me, we thought you wanted to hangout with us." Your eyes widened at Jake's words, "why would I want to hang out with you guys?"
Heeseung's hand clutched his heart, slouching forward as if it physically pained him to hear that sentence leave your mouth, Jake's hands flew on his mouth, Jay had an amused grin on his face and Sunghoon just smirked, "I'm sorry we aren't cool enough for you to hangout with us pretty.." he laughed watching color drain off your face. "No, it's not like that- I mean- wait you guys- you're twisting the plot, I'm not Regina George!" You sulked slightly, crossing your arms as you watched them topple over laughing at your panicked state, "I just wanted to say that I did not think you guys would want to hang out, since you know...we aren't close, I'm just Ava's best friend."
"You could be my best friend if you want," Jake smiled, throwing an exaggerated wink in your direction, you laugh as he threw his finger hearts. "Seriously though, you're not just Ava's best friend, you're fun on your own okay? Why wouldn't we want to hang out with you, we literally let you in the music room without further interrogating you!" A genuine smile tugged at your face at Heeseung's words, which stretched into a full blown grin when the others nodded their heads in agreement. "And what Ava did was wrong, and she should have apologized to you then and there but she didn't, which was again, very wrong of her." You couldn't bring yourself to deny Sunghoon's words.
Your eyes fell upon Jay who was silent all through this portion of conversation, he sat still, eyes unfocused as he stared ahead, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was listening but had his mind somewhere else, "Jay?" Your soft voice brought him back from his thoughts, he looked into your eyes, "Let's just move past this, guys..." and no one could bring themselves to debate with you further. "It's my birthday in two weeks, we're planning a trip, I was hoping you'll join us.." You pointed your index finger towards yourself, as if anyone inviting you for their birthday was something you had only thought of in your luxury dreams list, Sunghoon gave you a deadpan look, "who else?" Yeah that gave you the answer you were looking for.
The trip to Jay's birthday arrived more quickly than you could decipher. Jake informed you that the trip was more like a staycation on Jay's vacation home, from the moment you arrived at Jay's vacation home you knew you've stepped into something exquisite. The gated driveway winds through lush green gardens until the villa reveals itself, the sleek architecture, coastal elegance and everything about it screams luxury. As Jay pushed open the grand double doors, you're greeted by high vaulted ceilings, polished marble floors, and floor-to-ceiling glass panels that blur the line between indoors and the shimmering ocean beyond, you could hear Ava gasp from where she was standing beside you, Heeseung just chuckled, nudging you to go forward.
The scent of the ocean lingered in the air, and Jay informed everyone about their sleeping arrangements. "Everyone gets their own room?" Jake chuckled at your bewildered, stepping closer to help you put the luggage in your room. You made your way through the open-living room plan towards the first floor where your room would be. You, Heeseung and Sunghoon would be sleeping on the first floor whilst Jake, Jay and Ava would be on the ground floor. When everyone was done checking out the interior, your footsteps took you towards the exterior of the house, where the real magic lied.
A pathway of natural stone leads directly to the secluded beach. The sand is soft, untouched and the water crystal clear. There was not a single soul in sight, only the rhythmic lull of waves and the occasional cry of a distant seagull. "Wow, baby! This is literal heaven," your eyes wandered towards Ava who was now clinging onto Jay's arms like he would disappear if she let go. He smiled back at her, ruffling her hair as he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. You looked away, towards the beach where waves crashed into the shore in a gentle kiss. Your chest tightened, a small frown appearing on your face unintentionally. "You good pretty?" Sunghoon nudged your shoulders with his, his gaze trained towards the serene beauty in front of his eyes. "Yes I am-" "Let's see the beach from up front," before you could reply to Sunghoon you felt yourself getting dragged towards the beach by Ava, Jay shouting behind you to be careful. You looked back, Sunghoon giving you an amused look before retreating his steps back into the villa.
Jake called you back after sometime, deciding that since it was already late, everyone could eat the dinner and sleep away the exhaustion to properly enjoy tomorrow. Everyone wordlessly agreed, too tired to explore further. Everyone bid their goodbye. You went into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water before you went back into your room, your footsteps light. You poured yourself some water, taking a water bottle with you since you felt too lazy to get out of your room again. You slowly made your way towards the staircase leading towards the first floor when you heard light giggles. Your head turned towards the voices instinctively.
Jay had Ava backed up against the wall in between their rooms, their limbs tangled together with a quiet urgency. Jay kissed her like he was falling, fast and fearless and she kissed him back like she knew how to catch, but never intended to. Jay's hand moved from her waist to the door handle, opening it and backing Ava into her room. The door clicked shut behind them, and you still stood there, watching, like you always did. You gripped the bottle tightly, heart heavy and hollow at the same time. You made your way inside your room before your tear could manage to escape. The door clicked shut behind you with more force than you intended but you didn't care, not at this moment when the world around you felt like it was caving in.
"Someone help me with the drinks!" You yelled out to no one in particular as you watched everyone just beeline towards the beach. You put your hand above your head, eyes squinting at the sun. You internally thanked yourself for opting to wear lenses instead, beach and glasses would be a disastrous combination, "let me help you.." You turned towards Jay who slowly made his way towards you. He smiled, taking the box of drinks from your hand and signalling his head towards the lighter box instead. "I would've asked the boys to help with these, you didn't have to help with this." You shook your head, adjusting the box in your hands, "no worries, but if I collapsed right now, tell my parents I died a hero."
Jay's eyebrows rose at your remark, a slight smirk gracing upon his face, "by carrying a box of drinks? How noble. I would crave 'Gone too soon- by a box of Cola' on your tombstone." You huffed a breath, "are you sure we are not hazed? Why does this feel like a punishment?" Jay grinned clearly enjoying your suffering, "I think they went in first to avoid this exact trouble, we were set up." You just shook your head at his words, setting the boxes near each other, Jay ruffled your hair, then Ava called his name and he waved at you before running towards her.
The sun is warm against your skin as you step into the soft sand, the ocean glittering ahead. Around you the world felt lazy and dripped in golden hue but you couldn't shake away the heaviness of your heart. Jake and Sunghoon were already waist-deep in the ocean, calling out the rest of you to join them. Heeseung reclined on a lounge chair, under a fluttering umbrella. Oversized sunglasses perched upon his face as he smirked at the boys playing in the water. Your eyes travelled towards Jay and Ava, who sat a few feet away from you on a shared blanket, their silhouettes framed by the glow of the sun. Ava leaned into him, laughing at something he whispered in her ears.
You knew it was better to look away, that ignorance was the only choice you had in this situation, but you couldn't bring yourself to do that. But your eyes stayed fixed on the way his fingers gently brush a strand of her hair away from her face, and how she leaned her head on his shoulder like she belonged there and maybe she does. You watched as Jay lay down on his stomach, and Ava on her back, his eyes closed as his hand circled around her waist. You wished you could just walk up to him, sitting beside him as your fingers traced your name on his back, not to claim or to mark but to belong, even just for a fleeting moment. But you don't move, you just watch as she calls his name when he runs off towards the boys to play in the water.
"You aren't getting spared just because you are busy daydreaming in your own world, pretty." You screamed as you felt Sunghoon pick you up bridal style and run towards the beach as he spoke. "Yah, you know I can't swim." You tried kicking your legs to get him to put you down but there was no real fight in your attacks, "I know, that's why I'll be near you when you play! Trust me pretty." And with that Sunghoon jumped into the water with his still in his arms. Jake and Heeseung joined you two and helped you with splashing water on Sunghoon's face.
"You're doing good pretty, just hold onto me tight." Your hands were on Sunghoon's shoulder while he had his on your waist as he guided you deeper into the ocean. You shrieked when you couldn't feel anything beneath your feet and his hold tightened around you, his arms now circling around your waist as he pulled you close. Jay watched both of you pinch Sunghoon's ears for his clumsy actions, something twisted low in his stomach and he couldn't explain why watching you both play together made his fingers tighten around Ava's waist. "Jay, it hurts." His attention went back to his girlfriend who looked at him with a questioning gaze, he shook his head, his fingers soothing the skin on her waist as a silent apology.
"Alright, it's enough for the day, let's get back to have dinner." Your head turned towards Heeseung's voice, you walked up to him, others following close behind. "Had your fun?" He asked, one of his eyebrows arching as he spoke, you nodded your head as both of you fell into a casual conversation. "Okay how about we split the chores?" Ava groaned as Sunghoon's suggestion, clearly displeased. She leaned her weight on Jay, blinking up at him as she pouted, "I'm too tired to help..." Sunghoon scoffed unintentionally and Jake's coughed in his elbow to mask his laughter. "You just laid there on the beach and did nothing but you're tired?" Jay threw a glance at Sunghoon, clearly intending to make him shut up, then he looked at you, his eyes soft, "both of you go rest, we will call when everything's ready okay?"
Ava lit up, reaching up to kiss his cheek she ran inside the house and into her room, without a single glance towards the mess everyone was left with. You heard Jake sigh softly beside you, looking at the mess, hands on his hips. You stepped closer, bumping your hips with his, "how about Jay and Heeseung take care of cooking, Sunghoon can take care of collecting the empty drink bottles and both of us will clear the garbage?" He grinned at you, clearly pleased with your suggestion when Jay's voice cut through the air, "we will handle it, you should go and rest, you helped earlier too." You shook your head at his words, "I want to help, so please let me, and the more people are helping the sooner this will be over." You smiled as you pushed Jake towards the cleaning supplements to get started.
"Wow this took longer than we thought," you straightened your back, nodding your head at Jake's complaints. The sun had set and the moonlight casted a soft glow on the ocean. The streetlights were turned on and everything looked straight out of a movie. "We're done with dinner!" You looked at Jake who mirrored your smile, "first one to reach the kitchen is the loser!" You said as you ran towards the kitchen, Jake followed close behind as he complained about you getting a headstart. You laughed when he reached the kitchen first, giving Heeseung a jumpscare when he bumped into him. You laughed at his proud face, enjoying yourself more than you thought when Jay's voice cut in, "Ava's still sleeping, I'll bring her dinner later, let's get fresh and then we will eat."
Dinner was spent with Sunghoon and Jay's bickering while Heeseung just laughed at his friend's banter. Laughter echoed over clinking cutlery, voices overlapping and plates passing with casual affection. "I literally said the first person to reach the kitchen is the loser." Sunghoon laughed loudly at Jake's bewildered face, his eyes round and big as he looked at you, "you're so mean.." You reached out and ruffled his head, cooing at his whiny self, "your fault for not listening properly." He slumped against the chair, giving you faux glasses as other's made fun of him.
"We're sleeping early?" Jay questioned when everyone started complaining about being tired, a gentle frown etching on his face as he looked at you all. Sunghoon nodded his head, "Ava hasn't eaten since afternoon, so feed your girl, we will sleep too now, all the cleaning is finally creeping up on me." Heeseung, Jake and you religiously nodded, making Jay sigh as he prepared a plate for Ava and made his way into her room. "Let's get the cake and other things ready, I believe he will be occupied enough till we get things done," Heeseung whispered as soon as the door clicked shut behind Jay and everyone started preparing for the birthday boy's surprise.
"Okay, I believe we are ready, are we ready?" Jake whispered, box of cake in his hands, beside him stood Heeseung and Sunghoon who had party poppers in their hands. You were given the responsibility to record the moment. You focused the camera on the cake, then slowly backing away to capture all three of them in a single shot. You softly giggled looking at them, a big grin plastered on your face as you recorded them. All four of you were wearing birthday hats, and you couldn't help but coo at how cute the three boys looked. In one of your hands were two birthday hats, one of them extra large since it was meant for Jay. You looked at the timing, signalling them it was time for all of you to huddle outside Ava's room.
You knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Jay to open it. You wondered if giving Jay a surprise while Ava wasn't involved in it was a good idea or not but the plan to surprise was spontaneous, the one which you made while you were cleaning, later Sunghoon informed Heeseung about it when he found him alone. Ava never got out of her room, so you figured it wasn't anyone's fault she wasn't involved. Your heart drummed against your ribs, mind swirling with thoughts that if you catch them in their intimate moments, you couldn't bring yourself to handle that scene again. But all your thoughts flew out of your mind when the door swung open and Jay emerged from the door looking confused.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGSEONG!!!" All four of you screamed, confetti flying everywhere as Jay laughed, completely amused at the little surprise his friends pulled. Sunghoon took the large hat from your hand and placed it neatly on Jay's head. Ava emerged from the room, her hair messy and she was barely awake. You passed the phone to Heeseung and placed one hat on her head. Jay cut the cake, and the rest of the night was filled with questions from Jay about the surprise and what all went down while preparing. Heeseung apologized to Ava for excluding her from the surprise as he explained how the plan was spontaneous and no one got any opportunity to approach her. She smiled at him as she waved his concern off, but when the little party was almost over you could feel her mood getting sour as she looked at you.
You got comfortable on the bed, sighing in relief as your body relaxed. You turned to your side, pulling the blanket closer, you slipped into sleep the moment you closed your eyes, body too drained to resist it. For a while everything around you stilled, the noise, the thoughts, even the time. But after few hours, something stirred, and your eyes blinked open, heart and mind racing. You're half-awake, half-dazed, your body begging you to just go back to sleep. You tried going back to sleep, but it was too late to go back to how it felt before. You got off from the bed and made your way downstairs, maybe Some fresh air would help you with the sleep.
You stepped out of the villa, the air around you lighter and cooler. You made your way towards the narrow stone path, leading you towards the quiet overlook by the cliffside, where the ocean stretches endlessly below. The sky opened with each step you took, you breathe in the air, the wind gently caressing your body. "What are you doing here this late?" You jumped slightly, heart skipping before your mind caught up but you didn't move. Jay stepped beside you, leaning against the railings of the overlook, his eyes trained on your face as you looked ahead. "Couldn't sleep," you whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the moment.
"Something's on your mind?" You finally looked at him, his shirt was slightly crumpled, hair disheveled, his fingers twitched once before he clasped his hands together in stillness, his gaze was hard even though he looked composed from the outside, "you're angry, what happened?" The words left your mouth before your brain could catch up and your lips trembled as he locked his eyes with you. "I'm not angry," he stuttered lightly, clearing his throat and you looked away, biting your lips. "It's Ava right? Wanna talk about it?" He sighed, looking up towards the sky then back at you, contemplating whether he should talk to you about it or not.
"She got angry at me since she couldn't wish me at sharp 12..." You eyes widened at his words, disbelief gracing your face at the sheer absurdity of the situation, he looked at you, sitting down and motioning you to join him, and when you did, he continued, "I was so shock, she was in a sour mood, she wasn't even looking at me when I tried to approach her so I asked her till she told me why she was acting that way," you silently listened to him, feeling bad that he got into such situation on his birthday, "she has always been like that, there was a time when I didn't pick up her call at 12 AM sharp on my birthday cause I slept and she didn't talk to me whole day," you chuckled lightly.
"Is laughing your type of coping mechanism? Considering she's your only friend, and she didn't talk with you on your birthday, doesn't that make her a bad friend?" His questions caught you off guard and you coughed to reduce the awkward tension it rose in the air. "She'll come around, Jay." He looked at you like he was trying to search for some answers he knew you wouldn't verbally give him, "can I share something with you?" His voice was soft as he asked you that and you nodded your head, not finding the courage in you to decline his request. "You're the only person I'm sharing this with, I know you're her best friend so you should probably be the last person I'm saying this to, but from the time I've known you, I know there's no one better than you who would understand me...."
You nodded your head at him to continue, he looked around, his shoulders slumping slightly, "I feel like the Ava in front of me is so different from the girl who used to send me letters..." your stomach dropped at his words, you didn't say anything, you kept your face still but your inside twisted but still you forced a hesitant nod, "like she's very sweet, but the kind of person I imagined her to be, the kind of person I fell for is so different from the reality. We have our sweet moments but they don't feel real to me," he played with his fingers, head hung low, "whenever I try to talk to her about the letters she diverts the topic by saying what matters is the present, her letters always used to see through me, I felt seen in those letter, I didn't even have to say anything but her letters told me they understood regardless, but it isn't the same anymore, it feel so unreal."
"Jay," you sighed wondering what words would even bring peace to his heart, you wanted to tell him the truth, that it was you who wrote those letters and not Ava, but you couldn't bring yourself to confess that. "You're her best friend but I keep on complaining about her behavior to you, don't snitch on me," he pointed a finger at you, "please?" You laughed at his actions, "I won't tell her about this, I promise." He looked at you, eyes squinting as if he didn't believe in your words, "pinky promise?" You stretched your pinky finger towards him and his eyes lit up as he hooked his pinky finger with you.
Jay looked at the ocean in front of him, "relationships are more complicated than I thought they would be." You nudge your shoulders with him to cheer him up a bit, "tell me about it..." you rolled your eyes, standing up and extending your hand to him, the sun would start to rise after sometime and it would be better if you head back so you'd have enough energy to travel back home tomorrow. He held your hand to pull himself up, dusting his pants a bit. Both of you just walked back in without any conversation, the silence more comfortable in between you. "Let's grab something to drink before we go to bed," you nodded, letting yourself be a little bit more selfish for wanting to spend time with him.
The light of the refrigerator drapes a soft glow on his face, highlighting the curve of his sharp jaw, the way his lashes cast faint shadows on his cheeks, his messy hair which somehow still looks perfect to you. And he looks calm, thoughtful even like your heart isn't shattering into pieces right beside him. You took a few steps back, leaning against the counter, pretending to look at something on your phone but your eyes are trained on him. On the way his brows squint slightly to decide which drink to choose, the way he quietly mumbles to himself as if he belongs to a place which is softer, quieter. And you love him. God, you love him.
You swallow the lump forming in your throat, try to tear your eyes from his frame, to have some mercy on your heart. You wish you didn't feel this way, wished you never wrote those letters and kept your love hidden deep in your heart. You wished he would just turn around and look at you like you aren't just his girlfriend's best friend but someone who was actually meant to be his. And he turns around and looks at you, flashing you a quick smile, and it shatters you because it's the kind of smile he gives to everyone, and not the one you're dying to get, the kind he has reserved only for Ava. But you smile back, you pretend like you're not falling apart under refrigerator light for a boy who has no idea what he has gotten himself into.
He makes his way towards you, now handing you a soft drink and leaning right beside you. He takes a sip, humming lightly as if he hasn't tasted the same drink countless times today. "So," he started, putting the drink on the counter and turning towards you, "did you break up with your boyfriend?" You choked on the drink at his random question before calming yourself, "what boyfriend?" You tilted your head as you waited for him to answer, he just shrugged, "the one who humiliated you in my birthday party some years ago in high school." Your jaw dropped before you could stop it, "you remember that? And it was your birthday party?"
He nodded his head, finding your reaction amusing, "I was wondering when you'd say something about it but you didn't." You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again when you couldn't find the words, "so did you break up with him?" You nodded your head at him, "yeah, just after I reached home, I broke up with him and never looked back. I realized it after so long that deep down I knew he wasn't treating me right, I just wanted someone else to remind me of that and you did." His eyebrows arched at your words, his lips twitching into a smile, "guess you owe me a big one then," You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder a bit, "in your dreams Jay."
He laughed at your words, now taking both of your drinks and throwing it in the bin, "I'm glad that I met you, I don't think I'd be here if I didn't meet you that day." He smiled softly at your words, turning towards you, he stepped closer, "I'm glad you're here too, I feel so relaxed right now, it's amusing really..." you tilt your head at him, "what's so amusing?" His eyes went back and forth from your face then to the ground a couple of times, wondering if he should say what he wanted to, "hm? Jay?" He sighed, clearing his throat a little bit, "this," he said, waving his hands in between you two, "what's this?" You chuckled, finding his hesitation endearing. "This thing in between us, it feels," you stepped closer, nodding your head at him to continue, "it feels what Jay?" "Real. It feels real."
"Pretty I feel like Jay's birthday this year is going to be very eventful," you and Sunghoon were sitting on the kitchen island, eating fruits, Ava insisted Jay to spend some alone time with her before you go back home so they were out, Heeseung and Jake were still sleeping. "Why's that?" You questioned as you took a bite of watermelon. "Jay said Ava was upset we didn't involve her in the surprise, which doesn't make sense cause Heeseung apologized for it and gave her genuine reason, right?" You nodded and he continued, "but I believe they got into an argument or something, Jay's been tense but he said that Ava wanted to throw a surprise for him too, all alone, and he agreed because he said it would make her happy."
You hummed in response, knowing well that Ava has a habit of bringing attention towards her in any situation, so it was inevitable that she would ask Jay to do something like that. Surprise for Jay sounded good too, they had been dating for months so she must've had something in her mind. "Let her have her moment, despite the reasons we could've texted her or something but we managed within ourselves so let her show her love towards him the way she wants." Sunghoon nodded, silently agreeing with you as he ate the apple, "I hope everything will go well, she didn't even ask any of us for help," you sighed at his words, praying everything would go well.
Now you're dressing up for the surprise Ava had planned for Jay, she called everyone to the living room when both of them returned from their little outing and informed everyone to dress up nicely after you reached back home and meet in her parent's house since they were out on a business trip, he seemed quite excited about it. You hoped it would live up to his expectations and not end in yet another argument. You sighed watching yourself in the mirror, one hand holding the glasses while the other the lenses. You put the glasses down deciding lenses would be a great option if Ava or for that matter anyone else thought about pushing you into the pool again, you'd at least be able to see your downfall clearly.
You asked Ava if she needed your help and she just shrugged, declining your offer and throwing a snarky comment at you, something along the lines of, "wouldn't want anyone else to take credit for what I am going to do for him." And you just hummed, not wanting to trigger her more by reminding her that of course she'd fear someone else taking credit given that she has done the same to date Jay. Those words sounded very rich coming from her, the hypocrisy was astonishing. You texted Sunghoon the address of Ava's parent's house and asked him to forward it to the other boys.
Your eyes fell upon the clock, and you grabbed your things, booking a cab and texting Sunghoon that you'd reach the house in 20 minutes. He texted a thumbs up emoji, informing you that they would arrive at the house around that time too. You leaned against the car seat, watching the other vehicles pass by you in a rushed blur. Your heart thumped in your chest for some reason and you took a few deep breaths to calm the nerves down. It was inevitable you'd feel anxious, it's all you had been feeling ever since Ava started dating Jay, you were mentally preparing yourself to watch them being all lovey dovey in front of you without having a breakdown yourself.
You arrive at the house, a small envelope in your hand, the evening sky painted in hues of pink and yellows. When you reached the door of the house, you could hear faint chatter from inside the room. You hesitate, glancing down at the envelope with Jay's name written on it and then back up at the faint lights flashing through the living room's curtains. You frowned, texting Ava about your arrival, you twisted the door open after you got a signal from her and stepped inside. You were still standing near the entrance of the house, the house was pitch dark, but still you could hear some murmurs, more clearer than before.
The door behind you swung open, the night air brushing your skin as you turned around to find Jay hesitantly step inside, one hand clutching his phone and the other the door. His silhouette was half-hidden in the shadow. Behind him stood Sunghoon, Heeseung and Jake, anticipation etched on their faces. Someone behind you switched on the lights and Jay blinked, first because of the lights and then towards the crowd in front of him. You heard someone gasp from behind you, "Jay is here," and a loud chorus of "SURPRISE" erupted in the previously silence-filled house. Confetti exploded through the poppers, the music volume rising up like inflation.
Ava's shoulder brushed against yours as she ran towards Jay to hug him, he hugged her back, blinking in confusion. The other three entered the house from the corner, Sunghoon throwing a worried look towards Heeseung who silently hushed him. Jake's eyes locked with yours as he passed by you, then he turned towards his other friends to whisper something. Jay smiled tightly when Ava dragged him towards the mini stage where she kept the cake for him. And his eyes found yours before Ava cupped his cheek to give him a birthday kiss. The music stopped and Ava gathered everyone's attention, "Today's my lovely boyfriend's birthday so first we will cut the cake and then we can continue with the celebration."
Loud cheer erupted at her words, you kept your gift on the corner where everyone else kept theirs and made your way towards the mini stage where others were already present. Ava cheered loudly, a bright smile adorning her face as she took off the cover from the cake, a towering, picture-perfect chocolate cake, glossy with ganache, topped with sparklers and gold-letter candles spelling his name. His smile flattered for a second before he masked it with his politeness. "Ava," he whispered quietly, eyes darting towards the people watching each of his actions in anticipation, "I'm allergic to chocolate." You could see the color drained from Ava's face as she looked around at others. "I ordered a vanilla cake, the bakery may have misplaced my order." She pouted, clinging onto his arms as other people gave her words of sympathy that it's the thought that counts.
You were sitting on the couch beside Sunghoon, in front of you sat Jay and Ava, the music blasted in your ears, but you could still decipher the conversations going around you. Jay tapped his foot repeatedly against the ground, his shoulders tensed as he took a sip from his cup. "You're repeatedly tapping your foot on the ground, if you wanna dance, you could've just said so, come on, let's dance." You could see Jay froze at her words but didn't really resist when she dragged him towards the dance floor. You watch as Ava laughs, all bright and confident, clearly proud of the party she has thrown. You could see her dress sparkle and sway with her. One of her hands was clasped around Jay's wrist and the other waved the crowd off to make some space for them.
You could see the way his shoulders sank when he reached the center of the dance floor, the way his eyes were scanning the room, over the crowd as if he was checking the exits. Ava pulled him closed, dancing around him carefree and unbothered. She turned around to face him, hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer, she leans in for a kiss and he obliges, people cheer around them, flashing on camera making you blind. And he laughed when they pulled apart, hands on her waist as she sways. Your heart tugs a little, with sadness or jealousy you aren't really sure, cause you know Jay prefers to spend his birthday around his loved ones, intimately and not amongst the crowd. You know, because he had mentioned about it in one of his letters.
"You do realize he is not the one you're supposed to be looking at, right?" You jumped at Sunghoon's voice, "huh? What?" He shook his head as he leaned back on the couch, your eyes following his actions, "Jay," he started, taking a look at him briefly before looking at you again, "you aren't supposed to look at your best friend's boyfriend with that intensity in your eyes, what happened to the girl code?" You choked on the air, rubbing the area just above your chest to soothe your breathing. "I'm not staring at him," you glared, clearly caught off guard by his observation, "yeah and I'm Michael Jackson," you rolled your eyes, leaning against the couch, "you're reaching, I was just looking at them dance together," Sunghoon smirked leaning close to your face, "without blinking? Was their dance that admirable?"
You groaned throwing your head back, you could hear Sunghoon chuckling at your misery from beside you, "this isn't the first time I saw you staring pretty..." you turned your head slowly in his direction, he smiled lightly, eyes full of emotions or was it the effect of alcohol he was drinking? "Hm?" He sighed, resting his head at the back of the couch, mimicking you, "I saw how you look at him, at the music room, at his house during our celebration, at the villa, at the beach, the time when he served you dinner," your gaze was fixed on his face as he went on and on about all the times he had watch you fawn over your best friends boyfriend. You couldn't bring yourself to deny all his observations, not when he wasn't looking for your approval anyway, he had observed you and was just stating what he saw.
"Your eyes are so predictable, pretty," He said after he didn't get any response from you and saw you looking away. There was not a single bite in his words, he didn't accuse or blame you for being a bad friend. Your eyes met his again, you couldn't find any sharpness, or any judgement, just softness, like he understood where you were coming from without you having to say anything. Your heart swelled with something you didn't quite understand but felt overwhelmed, "are you always this annoying?" Your words were softer than you intended them to be, and he just smirked, putting his hand on your shoulder, "only when I'm onto something." You sighed but didn't resist his embrace, "you're not onto something, Jay's my best friend's boyfriend." His other hand made its way towards yours to play with your bracelet, "he is, that doesn't mean you wish things were different though." You let me play, eyes lingering on the veins of his hands for a second too long, "I didn't say that," "You didn't have to."
"Where did they go?" Your eyes followed Sunghoon's line of vision, "probably in Ava's room to make out or something," you mumbled quietly but he caught that, "you're not going to sit here and sulk," he said grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, "no girl gets to stand beside me and feel like a loser, that shit is reserved only for boys." You wanted to say something but decided against it when you couldn't think of anything smart to say. He dragged you towards the dance floor, his hands circling around your waist, he abruptly pulled you close, your hands grabbing his shoulders in response. "Focus on me tonight, who knows, tomorrow you might forget who Jay is."
You rolled your eyes at him, hands now comfortably resting around his neck as both of your bodies swayed with the rhythm of music. The night had stretched on, the music settling to something slow and soft. One of his hands slid up to rest against your back, while the other rested snugly on your waist. His actions pulled your body closer to his, from this distance you could count all the moles that were scattered across his face, the curve of his lashes, the point of his nose, and his lips. You gulped, feeling heat rise up in your body at the proximity. You tried looking away but he held you in place with his gaze. You were sure he could hear your heartbeat from how close you were.
One of his hands lifted, his movements slow and deliberate as he looked at your face for any signs of discomfort, his knuckles grazed your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered close and you leaned into his touch. His breath hitched, taking shallow breaths his hand now cradled your cheek, fully, thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. You sighed softly, leaning more into his touch as if leaning felt safer than speaking. You felt him inch closer, your nose barely grazing against his, you could smell him, the faint scent of detergent which lingered on his shirt, his shampoo, and something so achingly Sunghoon. Your breath flattered, syncing with his, for a moment both of you just breathed each other in.
His lips meet yours, softly, no urgency, no rush, like he's taking his time to learn the curve of your lips, a little hesitant, like he was giving you time to back out if you want. It was the kind of kiss that communicated his soft sighs and gasps, one that lingers at the back of your mind even after years. His thumb caressed your cheek, his actions meant less for comforting you and more for anchoring himself and for a moment everything single thought from your mind disappeared. Then his thumb suddenly froze mid-motion, he pulled away slightly, enough to look at your face. "You're crying pretty..." your eyebrows furrowed at his words and you opened your eyes, his thumb caught another tear which fell from your eyes but he didn't press further.
"I'm sorry..." you choked, unable to comprehend the reason behind your tears. You wanted to kiss him, and you did, but you couldn't figure out why the tears started to flow. The hand on your cheek, slid up to the back of your neck and he pulled close. You buried your head at the crook of his neck. "It hurts so bad, hoon." You aren't even sure where it hurts badly, Ava's lie, or watching her living the life you only imagined in your dreams, or the fact that even if Jay knew it was you, it wouldn't have bloomed into something so precious. "Shh, everything will be okay, you don't have to pretend in front of me." His fingers tangled in your hair as he drew soothing circles on your head. You nodded your head, pulling away a little from his embrace and from the corner of your eyes you saw Jay furiously walking down the stairs, his shoulders tense.
"Sunghoon," you pulled away from him and he brushed the remaining of the tears with both of his hands, "Jay." You pointed your finger towards his figure, he shoved people who came into his path, his steps hurried and faze fixed on the main door of Ava's house, "follow him," Sunghoon nudged you in Jay's direction, your face contoured into confusion, "but shouldn't Ava be going after him?" He ran his hand through his hair as he watched Jay near the door, "something tells me he needs you more than he'll need Ava at this moment." You looked at him for a second, letting his words sink deep inside you, after a while you nodded at his direction and turned around to run towards Jay.
Sunghoon watched as your hand slipped away from him, the same hand which he had intertwined with yours a few moments back. He watched it all, the way the tip of your finger slid against his one last time, like sand slipping from his palm, the way your lips trembled when you turn away, the urgency in your steps when you try your best to move through the crowd to reach Jay, and his hand tremble beside him. His other hand lifted up to trace the lingering memory of your lips pressing against it. And when he recalled the way your lips moved against his and how he tasted the salty taste of your tear before catching a sight of it, he wondered if that's what heartbreak tastes like. Like a kiss dipped in honey, ruined by the sting of salt you never meant for him to find.
SUMMARY: park jongseong has one regret and he's spent his entire life atoning for the pain he caused you. when you walk into office under the premise of working together, he's only got one shot to make things right before it's too late.
WORD COUNT: 33.1K
NOTES: this story was originally posted on my other blog, @pprodsuga. I will be transferring some work in due time and this is the first one! if it looks familiar, no need to panic or think I’m plagiarizing.
WARNINGS: contains smut.
PLAYLIST + MASTERLIST
***
When Jay was eleven years old, his father brought him a souvenir back from New York City when he traveled abroad for a week-long business trip. Jay has always been a big dreamer, too lost in his own reality to acknowledge the everyday life of grade school and all that came with it. It’s a tendency that his parents fostered and nurtured, instilling the belief that Jay could achieve anything he wanted in life if he dreamt hard enough.
The “I Heart NY” pin sits in the first drawer to the right of his desk. Besides his quick wit and intelligence, Jay would love to believe that pin is the reason why his desk on the fiftieth floor overlooks the city of Seoul.
Jay doesn’t make mistakes. He’s calculated and smart with his decisions based on cold, hard facts. He trusts his gut and prides himself in taking the high road when things get tough, letting losses go and holding his wins close to his heart. Practicing law isn’t for the weak, and Jay is not weak.
Yet walking into his office feels bleak on some days. The castle he serves doesn’t seem as golden as it once did in the early stages of his career. The gifts given to him by clients and admirers that sit around his office feel undeserved, no matter how many hours he put into making them happy. His only sense of comfort is the large vinyl collection he has that sits between shelf upon shelf for no one to touch but him.
Jay is meticulous in his work, rarely letting anyone into his inner circle without proving themselves first. It’s what makes him a great lawyer and what gave him a respectable name to his firm and others alike—Jay takes calculated risks and trusts no one, other than himself, completely.
Still, his days wane between fulfilling and empty.
He’s one of the first people to arrive at the office with a briefcase in hand and hair slicked back with expensive gel, wearing suits tailored at a few grand apiece. Jay doesn’t leave early either. He watches associates under him file out of the office one by one as the hour goes by until there’s no one left but him. It’s only then will Jay cap his pen or queue an email to send in the morning to make it appear as if he hadn’t spent all night in his office.
Jay loves his job. It gives him a sense of self fulfillment and it brings him joy to win cases for his clients, who range from high-paid celebrities to private equity firms. While the high salary and other liquid assets are perks of his profession, Jay puts his entire faith into his work and lets his winning streak do the talking for him.
He has to, or else law school wouldn’t have been worth it.
For three years, Jay studied from dusk until dawn for the chance to work in the career he’s been dreaming about since he received that ‘I Heart NY’ pin from his father all those years ago. Opening a particularly long chapter that was difficult to analyze never felt like a burden to Jay, not when his life would eventually amount to working at one of the big three law firms in Korea as Senior Partner.
Jay holds more ownership than he once did and manages his own associate now. He’s no longer at the entrance phase of his career. Jay’s responsible for more finances and harder cases the firm encounters, and he knows his boss and the Managing Partner, Lee Heeseung, expects the best from him.
Perhaps it’s why he feels compelled to put on his best smile and work until he feels exhausted because he knows he’ll be proud of it down the line. It’s what Jay assumes; all of the early mornings and late nights will prove to be worth it once he’s able to sit back and look down his long, successful career. People don’t admire him for nothing.
Nothing beats watching the sunset over the horizon as he ends his workday. The golden hues on the sun cascading down the city skyline fills the atmosphere of the office, signaling the end of the day. It’s when Jay feels his happiness. He’ll let the associates go home to catch up on rest and see their friends and families before it approaches a late hour.
Jay, however, stays behind to finish up on projects before his eyes grow weak and when he can’t keep his yawns at bay anymore. He’s already had his moments to leave at an appropriate time when he was a mere associate. Now, Jay has more responsibilities that he needs to maintain in order to feel like he really earned the title of Senior Partner. So he stays an hour after everybody goes home.
Jay is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the sound of knuckles on his glass door.
“Knock knock.” Jake Sim’s voice echoes through the large office, bringing Jay back to reality. He clears his throat and turns around to see the younger man standing before him with a blue manila folder in his hands. “I come bearing gifts.”
“You’re a bit too late. Christmas was four months ago.”
“Ha-ha,” Jake laughs dryly. “Consider this an early birthday present, then.”
Jake presents the folder to his colleague, who opens the file and sifts through the papers at his fingertips. Jay’s eyebrow quirks with interest as he looks between the documents and the man standing before him. It’s something he’s been waiting on for weeks. Something that’ll make or break a case he’s been anxiously thinking about and what’s been making him stay behind until the clock ticks is the only audible sound on the entire floor.
“I’m only going to say this once,” Jay begins. He points at Jake with the folder. “You’re the man.”
“I’m always the man, you just don’t want to admit it.”
The pair smile at each other after a beat. Jay puts the file on his desk and invites Jake to take a seat on the couch by his vinyl collection, one that the man knows not to touch.
“I heard you’re almost done with the Yeon-Choi merger,” Jake says. “Heeseung mentioned it this morning.”
“I’m waiting on a fax from them, actually.” Jay takes his specks off of his face and places it nearly on his desk. “Sunoo’s on the lookout for the document. Speaking of which.”
Jake looks behind him to see Sunoo enter the office space as Jay waves him in. He hands over the stack of documents, freshly printed with the paper still warm to the touch.
“Ms. Kang just faxed it over,” says Kim Sunoo, a first year associate. “Thank you,” Jay says as he receives the document. He looks at Jake. “Now I’m done with the Yeon-Choi merger.”
“You’d think two global giants in the world of finance would be at odds with merging given their competitive streak in the past few years, but they’ve just signed a document that lists a communal agreement to share assets.” Jake watches Sunoo leave and waves goodbye before he walks out the door. “Managing this client was an insane move, even for you.”
“Choi Analytics is nothing if not determined,” Jay informs. “So am I, Sim. You should know that by now.”
“I think you bit off more than you could chew. You only secured that win with two days to spare.”
“I have you, don’t I?” Jay teases with the tilt of his head. “Who was it that told you to talk to Yang Nari and convinced her to take that settlement before we could agree to the terms of the merger?”
Jake laughs. “You, Park Jongseong.”
“It’s all about working smarter, not harder. Remember that.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” Jake says with a mock salute.
“Please don’t ever call me that again.”
“Whatever you say, captain.”
Jay’s mouth quirks. “Go back to the bullpen and finish up the reports. Wouldn’t want you to pull another all nighter.” Jake leaves with a laugh and disappears around the corner.
The large office with glass doors and windows feels like a familiar set up. His workspace, with his name and title underneath it, feels more like a trophy case than a managerial place of work. His walk to his office from the elevator takes him past the associate bullpen, situated right next to Heeseung’s. This space is his sanctuary and he’d like to believe he performs best under pressure. It’s why he doesn’t mind people peering into his office whenever he’s sitting at his desk.
The days are long and the work is hard, but it’s the kind of job that makes Jay feel like he’s accomplished something in his life. Coming in as the sun rises and leaving just after it sets doesn’t feel like a sacrifice, nor does it feel like he’s losing out on opportunities when he’s got a bank account filled with zeroes and a penthouse apartment with the same view as his office. If anyone were to ask Jay about his life, he’d tell them he’s pretty damn happy.
That’s what he tells himself, anyway. Every morning is spent repeating mantras in his head about how far he’s come with the hard work and diligence that came with law school. The late nights and busy weeks spent memorizing cases and writing essays led to his employment as Lee & Associates, where he managed to acquire promotion after promotion through diligent work.
His newest title itself makes people look at Jay with respect, the kind of attitude he used to strive for when he was a humble law student. His early childhood was spent hearing his father talk about winning in court and the importance of believing in yourself when it comes time to face tough decisions. Jay’s father always advised him to do what he thinks is right, or else he’ll live with a regretful consequence for the rest of his life without the chance of rectifying it.
Jay’s loyalty and integrity is what makes people revere him. He stands tall and proud, walking into every room like he built the place with his bare hands. There’s never a hair out of place and his wardrobe reflects his luxurious tastes, always a suit from abroad and accessories to match.
He’s built a good life for himself. His father is still a practicing lawyer while his mother is considering retiring from her wildly successful jewelry business. Jay comes home for the holidays and visits them a few times a month for dinner when he has the time, and he does his best to keep the people around him happy.
After all, that’s what Jay does best.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
It’s Thursday morning and Jay’s week has gone by without a hitch. His clients aren’t giving him a hard time and he hasn’t had a reason to step into the courthouse at all. In addition, he hasn’t heard any of the associates complain about the workload given to them nor has Jake needed help with a problem for Jay to amend.
It feels odd to be as calm as he is. Jay wants to welcome it with open arms and sink into his seat until he feels like he’s vulnerable enough to sleep, but he knows that’s not in his job description. Instead, Jay needs to sleep with one eye open.
“Park,” Heeseung says as he pokes his head into Jay’s offices. “Can you spare a few minutes and meet me in my office? I need to call an impromptu meeting.”
“Sure,” Jay says as he puts a file in his cabinet. “What’s it for?”
“It’s better if we talk behind closed doors. Jake and Sunghoon are already waiting for us.”
Jay anxiously walks behind Heeseung and fixes his tie, patting it to his chest and smoothing it over in an attempt to distract himself from Heeseung’s cryptic words. He sees Sunghoon and Jake in the office and takes a seat on the armrest of Heeseung’s couch.
“What’s so important that you need to discuss this in your office with the door closed?” Park Sunghoon, a fellow senior partner, asks. “We didn’t lose a billion dollars overnight, did we?”
“No, but I know you would’ve caught that before that would’ve happened,” Heeseung quips back. “You aren’t our financial expert for nothing.”
“Damn straight.”
“What did you bring us in for, Heeseung?” Jake asks. Heeseung takes a moment to gather himself, eyes darting around the office before speaking.
“It’s about the Hybe Records case.”
“They’re holding a tight leash on people they sign on their main label or subsidiaries,” Jay nods. “Won't settle for a penny less than the recoupment.”
“Which is why a portion of people signed with Hybe came to us to help them rewrite the contracts from here on out,” Sunghoon adds. “Hybe came to us with a bullshit settlement offer and we declined. We’re still working on finding a chink in the armor.”
“Right,” Heeseung says. “What else do we know about the case?”
“Hybe acts as the bank and their musicians take out a loan to make an album,” Jake says, pacing in Heeseung’s office with his arms outstretched for emphasis. “The artist can use that money however they like and the sales made go right back to the label before they can make a profit.”
“Exactly,” Jay nods, “which is why the label has been terminating their contractual agreement before they can produce the agreed amount of records.”
“Hybe has more than enough money for a buyout.” Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s fucked up.”
“The label keeps the catalog and the money while the musician gets nothing.” Jay frowns.
“We all know it’s why musicians and idols pick up endorsements or pick up acting,” Heeseung mentions. “I mean, the money they get from other ventures supplements their income that they don’t get from music. But because that’s normal practice and it doesn’t help our sob story angle, I don’t know where else to turn to.”
“We’ve been fighting this day and night for weeks. You’re not telling me you’re dropping this, are you?” Sunghoon asks.
“Between Jay’s regular clients, Jake’s assisting, my workload, and your cases, we don’t have the bandwidth to fight this. Quite frankly, I don’t trust anyone to work on this but you three.”
“Is there something we should know about?” Jay inquires. “Did Hybe threaten us?”
“No, nothing like that.” Heeseung sighs. “Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m burnt out. Hybe isn’t making this easy on us and we’re running out of time. What I’m trying to say is I’ve consulted with another firm and have hired outside help. We need fresh eyes on this case.”
Jay nervously runs his hand through his hair.
Heeseung’s right, this lawsuit is eating up most of his hours and consumes his thoughts when he’s off the clock. The people being affected are anywhere between starving artists and people who can afford to pay him his billables without question. But the greater good is what Jay thinks about and realistically, he knows it would hurt him to see so many people lose their avenue to pursue their passions.
Hearing stories from clients makes his heart lurch. Each deposition to discuss what happened behind closed doors with label executives makes Jay’s pursuit that much stronger. To know he has the privilege of obtaining a law degree and being able to work in his dream career without much of a hitch makes him feel guilty when he knows the very people sitting in front of him are putting their passions on the line. It makes him work harder.
He’s no longer the law student that slaved away writing essays and pulling all-nighters to accomplish a task that wouldn’t matter in the long run. Now, all of Jay’s efforts matter. His work will be impacted for years to come and he can’t afford to misstep when handling clients. It’s why he feels so strongly about this case and why it’s hard for him to stop thinking about it when he gets home. A penthouse overlooking the city means nothing if he can’t help the people who got him there.
Jay knows Sunghoon and Jake feel the same way, too. Sunghoon, who came from a similar background to Jay, has always struggled with finding his voice in the business of law. Now as a senior partner with more at stake, he knows his friend will stand his ground if that means his clients walk away with everything they asked for. Jake, a first year associate having graduated law school after taking a few years off from college, is arguably the most sensitive of the three. He loves his work and finds passion in the people he helps represent. It’s why Jay trusts him and why he chose Jake to be his associate in the first place.
To take action on behalf of his clients means to succeed. Jay knows he comes from wealth and privilege, and he’d likely be just fine if he chose a career that wasn’t law. But his foot is in the door because his father was able to give him a legacy standard at law school, and it would be a shame to let that go to waste as if he didn’t have anything to prove. Jay knows he does.
“As we already know,” Heeseung begins to say, “we need all the help we can get on the Hybe Records case. They’re the most powerful label in all of Asia and they’ve got their teeth sunk in every Asian market.”
“They’ve got a dozen smaller labels beneath them and they’re always looking to convince independent labels to give up their ownership,” Jay says. “It’ll be hard to reach a settlement for all of them.”
“I know,” Heeseung sighs. He leans on the front of his desk. “I know you guys can handle it. Between the four of us, we can try to win this thing but it’ll take more time than they’re giving us.”
“Kid genius could probably read up on their files by tomorrow morning,” Sunghoon snorts as Jake elbows his rib cage.
“Don’t be silly, Sunghoon. I couldn’t possibly do that in a single night.” Jake smirks. “Give me two days.”
“Show off,” Sunghoon mutters with a hidden grin.
“Even so, it won’t be enough to fight them. Hybe has hired a plethora of lawyers to back them up and block us out.” Heeseung crosses his arm and is sure to maintain eye contact with the three boys in front of him. “It’s important to keep our clientele, but imagine how much business this would bring if we won.”
“You think that many musicians would hire us?” Jake asks.
“I think that many musicians care about owning their own music and not having to pay back a recoupment.”
“The amount an artist has to pay back before they keep their earnings,” Jake says with pursed lips. “Right. That’s really unfair.”
“That’s the music industry for you.”
“Labels are greedy as shit,” Sunghoon says with bitterness in his tone. “They make a promise to up and coming musicians and swear they’ll be successful by the end of the year, but they don’t really care about that. They’ll give money to make albums but won’t care if these people live or die if they don’t see a late profit.”
“It’s sickening,” Jake adds. “It should be illegal for musicians having to take endorsements and sponsorships just to pay the bills. They look like sellouts.”
“I don’t like it any less than you guys do,” Heeseung responds. “But that’s the way it works. We just need to find a good enough reason for them to settle with us. We aren’t budging on the recoupment.”
“Well, I’m glad we all agree that musicians shouldn’t have to pay back their loan.”
“I’m confident in you all,” Heeseung tells them. “Jay, you’re one of my best guys. You close deals and negotiate settlements like no one I’ve ever seen before. Sunghoon, you’ve been an incredible lawyer since the moment we hired you and you’re the only person I don’t have to keep my eye on.” Heeseung turns to take. “And Jake, you’re a gifted associate with a knack for getting people to tell you the truth. I’ve never met anyone quite like you either.”
“He makes depositions seem like fun,” Sunghoon laughs.
Jake smiles dramatically. “Nobody can lie to this beautiful face.”
“What I’m trying to say is,” Heeseung interjects, “is that you’re all incredible lawyers and I’ve never regretted hiring you.”
“There’s always a but,” Jay comments. Heeseung nods.
“But, our best isn’t enough. Our best doesn’t account for the numerous legal and financial attacks Hybe Records will bestow on us. We’ve been thinking big but we need to think bigger. We need to think outside the box.”
“What do you propose?” Jay asks. “We’ve already gotten a first meeting with Hybe and God knows they’ll pressure us to give them an answer soon. I know that they know we won’t budge and are probably working with a counter move as we speak.”
“We’re bringing in someone from an outside firm.”
“What?” Sunghoon says. “Which one?”
“Tang-Young,” replies Heeseung. “They’re a powerful firm, as we know, and were one of the few who declined to represent Hybe.”
“We trust them, right?” Jake asks.
“We do, yes,” Heeseung confirms with a single nod. “Tang-Young have been kind to us and I’d like to believe we’ve been the same to them. We’ve been invited to consult on cases before and they’ve helped us out in the past, albeit it’s been a while. But we need all the help we can get and they were enthusiastic about assisting us.”
“I don’t know,” Jay says. “Catching someone else up to speed while we’re this far down the line? That seems like busy work. Unless we have another Jake who can read and memorize documents as quickly as he can, I don’t know how much help they’ll be.”
“Oh, I think you’ll be pleased with our colleague,” Heeseung says cryptically. Jay looks at him with confusion. “You guys trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course,” says Sunghoon. “I wouldn’t be working here if I didn’t.”
“Then I’ll need you to trust me when I say the partner working with us is the best in the business. She’s an old friend and someone I confide in, which if you know me, is hard to do unless you work at this firm.”
“Why are you telling us this?” Jake asks.
Heeseung sighs. “I’m saying this now because I didn’t have time to discuss the partnership prior to today because of deadlines and we need all the help we can get. A friend from law school, Kazuha, was willing to help us out since we assisted on that auto lawsuit a few months back.”
“We don’t need to worry,” Sunghoon says. “This is the best law firm in Korea and we have a history of having the highest rate in cases closed successfully. You’re our leader, Heeseung. We know you wouldn’t go behind our backs unless it was important.”
“We need a miracle for this one,” says Heeseung. “Jay’s already running point on this case but he alone can’t handle the burden.”
A sinking feeling festers in Jay’s chest. He knows that name–Kazuha–from when he was in law school and knew her family to have built Asia’s largest corporate law firm from the ground up. They’re respectable, highly profitable, and a company Jay would rather not think about because hearing that name reminds him of his deepest regrets.
His week is offset by Heeseung’s sudden news. Jay has never doubted his elder, especially since Heeseung was a mentor to Jay in his early years of his career, but the hairs on the back of his neck perk up at the sight of Heeseung periodically looking at Jay. He doesn’t think Sunghoon or Jake notices the awkward tension in the room either, too engrossed with talking strategy plans on how to make sure the new, mysterious partner is up-to-date.
Jay fiddles with the rings adorned on his fingers. The expensive jewelry, some of which are presents to himself and others gifts from his parents, provide a temporary distraction for him. They’re warm to the touch with how often he twists them for every word Heeseung speaks. Jay’s throat suddenly feels too dry.
“We’ll be fine,” Sunghoon tells Jake, forcing Jay to tune back into the conversation. “I think we’re all on edge because this is by far the biggest case we’ve handled in the past few years.”
“There are dozens of clients who are filing a lawsuit against Hybe but it isn’t considered class action yet,” Heeseung replies. “We could very well set a precedent if we manage to win this thing.”
“That would put the firm on the map!” Jake exclaims. “Just think about it. If we manage to settle in our favor so that these musicians don’t have to pay the label back, we could set an example so other major labels follow through with no recoupment.”
“This is why everything’s been kept under wraps and why I’ve had to act before consulting you three.” Heeseung finds a pen from his desk and twirls it in between his fingers. “I love this company. I became managing partner not too long ago and my predecessor took his name off of the door and added mine because he thought I could do something with the firm. You three are people I trust more than anyone else and I wouldn’t have agreed to let you work on it if I didn’t believe we could succeed.”
Jay can sense the nervousness and anxiety in Heeseung’s tone. In all of his years working with him, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen the man as on edge as he is now. Heeseung cannot manage to sit still and the pen his fingers are distracting him almost like Jay’s rings are. It’s no wonder they work so well together.
“We can do it, Heeseung,” Sunghoon says in an attempt to quell the atmosphere. “It’s hard and tedious, but what case isn’t?”
“Besides, we have Jay. He is the best closer in Seoul,” Jake vouches, a coy smirk sitting on the edge of his lips as Heeseung merely smiles and shrugs in casual agreement.
The sounds of knuckles rapping on Heeseung’s glass door interrupts their conversation. The image of you standing before him knocks the air out of his lungs.
He’s brought back to when he was a second year law student, struggling in his criminal law class before meeting you for the first time. Your timid and quiet demeanor is nothing compared to the confidence you exude in the present day. Right now, you look put together with your all-black attire and red bottom heels to match. The way you’ve styled your hair allows your face to be seen instead of using it as a tool to hide yourself. Even with all of your perceived shortcomings, Jay remembers you as timid but headstrong. Now, it looks like he’s staring at someone he doesn’t recognize.
Jay feels innocent again, traveling back to a time before work became the sole focus of his life and before the guilt of what he did to you ate him alive. It feels almost unnatural for him to see you in a professional setting. Sitting in the campus library with opened books or looking at you from across the table of a cheap ramen restaurant is where Jay’s used to seeing you.
Heeseung’s office is the last place he’d ever expect to run into you.
The last Jay heard, you were off practicing law in Busan before heading to New York for a few years to consult on Korean-American affairs until your visa expired. He never had the opportunity to see you in court before, not since law school.
There was a time when Jay couldn’t step into a courthouse without wondering if you were inside with him. With every corner turned and every door opened, Jay would anticipate seeing that same beautiful and innocent face locking eyes with him as he stepped into the room. Jay would picture you in those long floral dresses you loved so much staring at him with anger in your eyes, wearing an expression caused by actions he’d never be able to atone for.
Guilt used to eat him from the inside out. The moment his alarm clock woke him up was when the guilt would settle deep within his chest. For a while, this feeling towards the way things ended with you was the reason why he pushed himself to stay in the office after everybody else left, back when he was a first year associate. Guilt led Jay to work three times as hard as everyone else and why he will never leave a stone unturned.
While that culpability subdued with the time that has passed, none of that matters now. Seeing you in Heeseung’s office with a friendly smile on your face makes that sense of wrongdoing resurface all at once.
The woman he sees before him is not the woman he remembers. Jay still has the same overly confident, hardworking attitude he exhibited when he knew you back in law school. He’s still the same person who gets tongue-tied when he looks at you and he’s still the same person who regrets never calling you after you both graduated.
Unlike the disheveled mess Jay remembers from when he last saw you, you’ve become polished. He sees that you’ve grown into yourself with your shoulders held back and head looking straight in front of you instead of casting your gaze to the floor. Your eyes meet everyone in the room, his included. You wear a big smile on your face and take a step forward before bowing towards him and his colleagues.
Jay doesn’t think he deserves that respect from you.
“Jay’s the second best,” you comment. Even your speech has matured. “I happen to be the first.”
“Everyone, meet Kim Y/N.” Heeseung takes a step forward to return your bow and shake your hand, welcoming you into his office.
“Y-Y/N?” Jay stutters, eyes widened in shock when he spots you next to Heeseung.
The reaction is unwarranted and even he can’t believe his words came out like that. Jay pays no attention to Sunghoon and Jake, who look at him with quizzical expressions. Jay can only focus on you, with the way your pantsuit hugs your body and the way your high heels make you stand taller than he remembers you. You’re very confident. Jay wonders what must have changed in the time he last saw you until now.
“In the flesh, Park. It’s nice to see you again.”
“Y/N’s the best chance we got to win this against the biggest record label in Korea,” Heeseung interrupts, forcing Jay to push his thoughts aside. “I don’t need to remind you that our clients are high profile names trying to make a case for musicians who can’t afford to pay back the recoupment. If we lose this, we lose their business. It won’t look good for the company if we don’t secure a public win.”
“A public win means a public loss,” you chime in. “Hybe’s settlement deal is bullshit and we all know it.”
“Exactly.” Heeseung points at everyone in the room before landing on you. “I know we don’t ask for outside help but we need Y/N. I trust everyone to make her feel welcomed and to give her anything she needs.”
“It would be an honor,” Jake says before stepping in front of you to bow with his body perpendicular to the floor below him. “Sim Jayeun, but feel free to call me Jake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He outstretches his hand to you for good measure and is pleased when you reciprocate. His kindness brings a smile to your face.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Jake. I look forward to working together.” The aforementioned nearly falters in his movements as he takes a step back, hearing Sunghoon snickering behind him before you turn your attention to him. “You must be Park Sunghoon. I’ve kept up with your work for a while now. Your work with Kim Mingyu against General Motors was impressive.”
“All in a day’s work,” Sunghoon says as he brushes his shoulders for dramatic effect. “I’m honored that you know about it.”
“You saved Mingyu’s reputation for being a whistleblower and forced the company’s hand to not only change their flawed design, but to pay out the victims. You bled that company dry in the process to compensate for the casualties. That’s something worth talking about,” you tell him. “It’s impressive to me.”
Jay swears he sees Sunghoon blush.
“Thank you,” says the latter, clearing his throat. “It means a lot that you said that.”
“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been either.”
Your eyes move towards Jay and he expects to see nothing short of a scowl painted on your lips because the last time he saw you, he remembers Jung Iseul asked him if he loved you in front of thirty of your classmates.
Jay said no.
He regrets how he handled it. He wishes he could turn back time and tell Iseul and her friends to leave you alone, and tell her the way she acted was nothing short of childish. Jay would like to believe he’d pull you away from wandering eyes and hold you until your eyes were dry if he was able to turn back time and relive that awful moment, but he can’t. The memory of you looking at him with betrayal in your eyes is what keeps him up at night.
Jay thought of his own needs before yours, selfishly acting to protect himself from the embarrassment of a public confession instead of thinking about how humiliating it must’ve been for you. Your classmates were never the nicest and often commented on your quiet and shy demeanor. Jay always tried to do his best to encourage you to be the best version of yourself, growing silently frustrated that you’d allow people to say harsh things about your skill sets instead of proving them wrong. What he failed to realize is that you’d grow into yourself at your own time.
You're not the timid girl you used to be. Jay sees the fruits of your labor standing in front of him.
When you look at him, Jay’s breath catches in his throat. It’s been years since he last saw you in person and he can only imagine what you must be thinking. Are you seething? Are you angry? Are you here for revenge? Do you still think about that night as frequently as he does?
Any thoughts of you being spiteful are thrown out the window when he hears you speak in that same, soft tone you always reserved for him.
“Hi, Jay.”
He’s quiet for a second too long because he sees Heeseung glaring at him from the corner of his eye.
“Hey.” Jay says pathetically, shifting from one foot to another. “Long time no see.”
“Woah, wait. Do you two know each other?” Jake asks, pointing between the two of you.
“We shared a few classes in law school,” you explain. “We even graduated in the same year.”
“Oh, wow.”
You tilt your head as you look at him. “You seem surprised.” “I’m just shocked that you two know each other,” Jake says. “You have the highest closing rate in all of Seoul and you’re telling me you went to law school with my boss?”
“I’m trying not to take offense to that,” says Jay, who furrows his eyebrows. The atmosphere is too much for his liking and suddenly he feels as if his tie is too tight around his neck.
“We knew each other a long time ago, but it’s always nice to see a familiar face.” You smile at Jay before turning to Heeseung. “When do I start?”
“Y/N will be working from our office a few times a week for the next few months to make things easier. She’ll still be handling cases from her firm with an emphasis on the Hybe lawsuit.”
“Thank you for welcoming me,” you tell everyone before looking at Heeseung. “Care to show me to my temporary office?”
He smiles. “Right this way.”
“It was lovely meeting you all,” you say before turning to leave. You pause and turn to face Jay. “It really is nice to see you again.”
He stands in his spot at a loss for words. It feels as if his feet are planted on the ground with no way to make him move. His mouth might as well be hung open with the way he stares at you and merely nods. Speaking makes him feel like he’s going to choke and say the wrong thing, so he opts to say nothing.
You exit behind Heeseung without sparing him a second glance and he watches as your figure disappears around the corner, listening until he can’t hear the sound of your voice speaking with Heeseung. His hands are planted firmly in his pocket, the fabric of his suit providing a distraction from the sudden notion of seeing you after all these years.
He feels Jake and Sunghoon looking at him from the side. Sunghoon merely walks past Jay and offers a pat on the shoulder while Jake enthusiastically stands from his seat and bounces with excitement.
“You know Kim Y/N? The Kim Y/N?”
“It was a long time ago,” Jay says with a small voice. “We used to be study partners.”
“No fucking way,” Jake swears with his hands on his hips. “How come you never told me? She’s like, one of the most respected lawyers in all of Asia. Did you hear about her work on that Cheong-Smith case back in New York? God knows how tedious working between America and Korea must’ve been. She’s so fucking cool, Jongseong. A badass is what she is. I want to be her one day.”
Jay’s mouth quirks in a half smile. He knows you’ve built a reputation but refuses to read about you in the newspaper or listen to conversation where your name has been brought up. It brings painful memories and no matter how much he chastises himself for being in the wrong, part of him can’t help but hurt and yearn for you.
If Jake notices Jay’s quiet demeanor, he doesn’t acknowledge it. The former is pacing in Heeeung’s office with his hands rubbing his face as if he’s won the lottery. Jay’s envious of Jake’s ignorance, in a way. He wishes he could forget that night and re-do his friendship with you. Jay wishes he could meet the person you are now if that means rejecting you in front of your classmates never happened.
“Y/N’s a great lawyer,” Jay finally says. “I’m glad she’ll be working with us.”
“So fucking cool,” Jake whispers in disbelief. He turns to Jay. “I can show her around the office and, you know, show her the ropes.”
“Don’t try anything.”
Jake puts his arms up in mock surrender. “Hey man, I won’t. Y/N’s someone I view as a mentor. I don’t have weird, unresolved romantic feelings like you do.”
Jay opens his mouth in disbelief as Jake winks at him before walking out of Heeseung’s office. He sits with his thoughts and wonders if this meeting was a figment of his imagination and if he’d wake up with you halfway across the world and his life being as normal as it can be.
But he sees you enter your own private space when he walks to the break room and tries not to stare at you too long. It wouldn't be good for his health.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
“This office is pretty nice.”
Your jaw nearly drops at the sight before you. The tall windows overlooking the city boasts a beautiful skyline with pedestrians barely visible from where you stand. The carpeted floor is plush against the click of your heels and the temperature in the room is just warm enough for you to set your suit jacket atop the armrest of the brown leather couch.
“It used to be mine before I became the managing partner,” Heeseung tells you.
“I see. That must be why I like the interior design.”
Coming back to Seoul six months ago wasn’t your idea. But your visa in America had expired and there was no legitimate reason for you to extend your time abroad. With a heavy heart, you packed your bags and returned to the city with unfavorable memories you hoped to put behind you.
However, it seems that life finds a way to throw you a curveball and make you face your fears. Returning to Seoul wasn’t for the faint of heart. The familiar sounds of people walking and talking in the street and the scent of street food vendors warmed your heart as best as it could. The memories of your childhood summers spent frolicking in the city because your parents were too busy pursuing their dreams to entertain yours will forever remain a tasteless memory. The sound of squeaky wheels on vendor carts is bittersweet.
Upon returning, you’d taken a couple of weeks to settle into a new apartment just a few towns outside of the city. The modest apartment is nothing like the penthouse you rented in New York. The amenities were appealing at first, with the tall ceilings and marble statues adorning each room. The affluent neighborhood you lived in felt familiar from your childhood days, although feeling at home wasn’t something you think you could ever do if you lived in a house made of glass.
The mental images of running inside your parents’ gargantuan household with them nowhere to be seen is imprinted in your mind when you close your eyes. Your mother’s office door that always remained closed and uninviting to anyone but your father and older brother felt demoralizing, as did your father’s study, which was never to be entered. The large house felt more like a fortress than a home. The empty hallways with no one to converse with felt like a prison with your bedroom being your only sanctuary.
The two bedroom apartment in a modest neighborhood outside of Seoul feels like home to you. The neighbors who garden when it’s warm out and retreat on rainy days feel like friends rather than people you live next to. The children on their way to school wave at you before work and make you promise not to work too late, which is likely why you leave your office at a reasonable hour. If you bring your work home with you and hide behind your curtains as you pretend to watch TV, that’s nobody’s business but your own.
You jumped at the idea of leaving Seoul as you approached your second year in your law career. The idea of exploring a new country in a language you half-spoke felt more exciting than horrifying. Knowing your mentor had recommended you for the apprenticeship served as the encouragement you needed to pack your belongings and say goodbye to your friends, family, and life as you knew it.
If you’re being honest with yourself, you were running away from your childhood and the wound Jay had opened when he left you alone in front of your classmates.
That hurtful memory reopened itself when Kazuha pitched the idea of working with Lee & Associates on this case. The both of you know you’re her top choice to fight this battle given your brother’s notable status and area of expertise. Your relation to your sibling is a secret you keep close to yourself with only a select few people in your life knowing, preferring to keep yourself out of the limelight as best as you can.
Yet the idea of working with Jay made these unresolved feelings bloom at the surface when you thought you had locked them in a box and threw the key away. The sleepless nights were just shy of affecting your work. Day after day, you’d stare at the Hybe Records file to see what information had been gathered, glossing over Jay’s name on each document and each email that was forwarded to your inbox. It hurt over and over again, just like it did when he left you standing alone, never to return.
But life never works out the way you want it to. Coming back to Seoul was for the best and facing old enemies and seeing old friends is part of your path. Having the grace to prepare yourself makes you reflect on how much you’ve grown in the years you spent away from Korea and that you’re ready to move past the hurdle that’s been keeping you tied down for so long. Or so you tell yourself.
Heeseung knocks his shoulders with yours. “You don’t seem as shocked to see Jay as I thought you’d be.”
“I had a few weeks to prepare,” you tell him as the two of you face the scenery in front. “When Kazuha told me I was her first choice to work this lawsuit, I saw Jay’s name sitting at the top of the file.”
“It’s his case, technically. But we all know you’ll outshine him in one way or another.”
You shake your head. “I’m not here to step on anyone’s toes, Heeseung. I’m just here to do my job.”
“And see an old friend, I’d assume.” This time, you knock your shoulders against his.
“Oh, you know it’s always good to see you when I’m on this side of town.”
Heeseung smiles, pleased. “I know it’s been a while since the two of you have seen each other and I hope you know that you weren’t picked for any dubious reasons.”
“I know, Hee.” The man looks at you, tilting his head to assess the true intentions behind your words. “Seriously, I’m fine.”
“This company would have benefitted from your work,” he replies. “Still, I’m sorry for how things worked out.”
“That was ages ago,” you wave off. “You really don’t need to apologize for it. I appreciate you fighting to hire me, but Jay has done a wonderful job and you can’t deny that.”
Heeseung shakes his head. “No, I really can’t. He’s one of my best. One of the best lawyers in Korea, I’d argue.”
“What does that make me?” you joke.
“It makes you the best in the universe.”
You throw a fond smile Heeseung’s way. “It really is nice to see you again.”
“I meant it when I said you could reach out for anything.
“Most days, I just need a friend.”
Heeseung quirks an eyebrow. “Is that why you text me photos of you baking at three in the morning?”
“Precisely. What else would I text you about?”
The man laughs. “I love the ones where your cat sits on the counter to watch. I love Gerry.”
“For the love of God, Heeseung. Her name is Miso.”
“Yeah, but your cat is orange like a tangerine and in my head, Gerry, is a cute nickname for tangerine.”
“You need to re-evaluate your definition of cute.”
Heeseung smiles at you fondly and tilts his head. He knows he’s looking at a version of you no one in Seoul has seen before. The new person standing before him is confident in herself and her capabilities, no longer shying away from the spotlight. The person you are now could look him in the eye and call him an equal, unlike when you were an emerging teenager dealing with peer pressure and hormonal acne.
“Your mom calls mine from time to time, you know,” Heeseung says after a short pause.
You snort. “Oh God. Please don’t tell me Lee Jiwoo cares about what my mother, of all people, has to say.”
He shrugs. “She doesn’t, but they were neighbors for forty years before my parents moved. I think your mom has some weird attachment to the past.”
“You’re telling me,” you say as you roll your eyes. “I remember as kids, she’d force me to go over to your house with the hopes that we’d fall in love and get married someday.”
Heeseung laughs. “God, you were so hung up on Lee Seokmin that you barely paid attention to me.”
“If I recall correctly, you were head over heels with Kang Ara and that made you a lovesick fool. Who knew you were into older women?”
“She was nice enough to help me with my homework, okay?” Heeseung defends himself as he laughs.
Recounting childhood memories with you feels warm. When you’d left Seoul in pursuit of a career in America, Heeseung knew you were running away from your problems rather than facing them. He grew up seeing the harsh reality that was strict parents who placed too high of a standard on you whereas your older brother remained unharmed by their lashings and expectations.
Heeseung always chided the way his friends would tease him when he walked you home from school or offered to make room for you in his house when your parents were home. He’d witnessed the volatile relationship between the three of you and offered his household as a sanctuary for as long as he could. Heeseung’s parents offered the kind of hospitality he wished you could receive from your own parents.
Still, it feels warm to know you chose to return. Seeing you in your element makes Heeseung think he must’ve done something right all those years ago, even if you briefly lost touch when you moved overseas.
“I’m really grateful for you, Hee.” You lean your head on his shoulder and cross your arms in front of your chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we were kids. You were always so popular with the girls and every guy wanted to be you. I know people made fun of me when we’d walk home from school together. Knowing you defended me and made me feel like a normal person despite my relationship with my parents makes me feel happy.”
“I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?” Heeseung asks. He feels you nod against him. “It killed me to see you fight with your parents and I didn’t care that Han Bora got jealous of you or that Choi Youngchul made fun of me for having a girl around. You were more than that to me.”
“I love my brother, I really do.” You bite your lip to keep a sigh at bay. “But he’ll never understand how my parents treated me. I know he loves me and I know he did everything he could to protect me when we were younger, but he still reaped the benefits from our parents.”
“No apology from them can outdo everything you went through,” Heeseung says. He leans his head on top of yours. “You were my best friend, even if I didn’t say that to you. Everyone at school wanted to be my friend because I went puberty faster than everyone else but you always treated me as the same kid who got a bloody nose after falling face first on the pavement.”
Heeseung smiles when he hears you laugh. “I told you to tie your shoe laces.”
“SInce when do I listen to what you say?”
You pull yourself from him. “Thanks for always being there for me, Hee. I hope you know I’ll work my hardest to win this case.”
A knock at the door brings both of your attention behind you. Jake stands politely and bows his head as he enters when Heeseung beckons him inside.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Jake says carefully.
“Not at all,” Heeseung assures. “Is there something you need?”
“Actually, I was wondering if I could give Y/N a tour of the office. I’d love to show her around so she feels more comfortable and familiar.”
“That’s a great idea, Jake.” Heeseung turns to you. “Why don’t you settle in and make yourself at home for an hour, yeah? Let Jake take you to the cafe that’s across the street and use my company card to pay for it.”
“I’ll never say no to you paying.” Heeseung rolls his eyes at your playful banter but hands you his credit card regardless. Seeing you this open with him warms his heart.
“We won’t be long,” Jake assures.
Jay approaches where the three of you are standing and busies himself in the bullpen when he notices you and Jake walking out of the office. Pretending to be intensely reading a document about finance, Jay prays you don’t see him and waits until the two of you are out of sight to walk towards Heeseung.
His footsteps feel heavy as he enters what is to be assumed, your office.
“I already know what you’re thinking,” says Heeseung with his hands in his pockets.
“Then you know I’m going to ask you what the hell is going on.”
Jay has seen his fair share of hard moments from the man standing in front of him, whether in court or behind closed doors. He knows Heeseung to be someone that mentors by giving tough love and credit where it’s due, playing the role of a fair judge in the name of building a strong career. Jay is no stranger to people being upset with him, least of all Heeseung.
“Do I need to remind you that I'm the managing partner and that I don’t need to consult you on my decisions?”
“You don’t,” Jay begins, “but you know the history I have with Y/N. A little heads up would’ve been nice.”
“We don’t always get a heads up when the stakes are high, Jay. You know that. I tried to be as forthcoming as best as I could but we only heard confirmation a few days ago and you were out of the office preparing for your briefing.”
Jay breathes deeply. “You of all people know we left on bad terms.”
“So you should know that Y/N is like my sister,” Heeseung retorts. Jay can hear the slight venom in his elder’s tone. “I’m able to set aside my differences because it’s my job to do so and because I like you.”
“Heeseung–”
“Have you ever stopped to consider that you’re the only person making this awkward?” Heeseung asks, looking at Jay directly into his eyes. “Nobody else seems to be having any problems with Y/N joining this lawsuit.
“You are one of the best lawyers Korea has ever had the privilege of seeing, Jay. Hell, this company owes you a lot. But you can’t tell me that Y/N being here has affected you this much to the point of coming to talk to me about it in my office.”
Jay remains silent knowing Heeseung’s right, even if his pride refuses to quell.
“You made your choice all those years ago and from the looks of it, Y/N seems to have moved on.” Jay nearly chokes at Heeseung’s words. “You need to move on as well, Jay. Do whatever it is you have to do to get your head straight.”
Jay shuts his eyes for a brief second. “It’s really hard, Heeseung. It’s hard to forget.”
Heeseung’s expression softens. “She’s not seeing anyone.”
Jay abruptly opens his eyes.
“That is not what I meant.”
Heeseung smirks. “Sure it wasn’t.”
“I’m serious, Lee. I just regret how it all went down and I regret not reaching out after graduation. My parents took me abroad for the summer to celebrate. I was so caught up that I didn’t make time for Y/N.”
“You can still make time for her now.”
Jay shakes his head. “It’s too late. I’d bet anything to know she hates me.”
“Well, I know for a fact that she doesn’t. If we’re talking about the same Y/N you and I both knew all of those years ago, then you know she doesn’t hold grudges.”
“But we know she can.” Jay sighs. “You know about her parents.”
“Two people bringing her into this world just to treat her like nothing is far different than a boy not calling her back.” Jay tries to not take his comment to heart no matter how much it stings. “The difference between you and them is that you have the chance to make this right and correct your wrongs.
“But let me make myself clear. You are to work with Y/N and make her feel welcomed during her time on this case. I don’t care how you do it as long as your head is clear and you can work beside her without letting your feelings get in the way.”
“Understood.”
Heeseung’s expression softens. “You know I care about you, man. I wouldn’t have agreed to be your mentor if I didn’t think you were worth it.”
Jay nods. “I know. I just forgot that you two knew each other as well.”
“You should’ve seen Y/N back when she was in middle school. Still as timid as she was in law school but still the kindhearted person we know.”
Jay tries to picture what you were like as a child. He’s seen photos of you from preschool until the day you graduated college and wonders if you were the same shy, timid girl he knew you to be before the two of you parted ways. Would you two have been friends in elementary school? What kind of foods did you like to eat? Did you have a happy childhood?
He knows the answer is complicated. Jay’s assumption is that your parents, who happen to manage the biggest law firm in Korea through defending oil companies, did not value you as much as they valued your older brother. He, who was their prized possession, often tried to pull you into the spotlight with him. Jay remembers you talking about him fondly like he hung the moon in your night sky. It brought him a sense of peace to know there was someone always looking out for you when you were younger.
After all, your brother was the only form of family who came to your graduation during law school.
Jay remembers him standing tall, clad in a mask and clothing that made him unrecognizable. He blended in with the crowd and made himself seem smaller than he actually was in order to remain undetectable by people who weren’t you. Jay always wondered why you were hellbent on keeping your brother’s identity a secret and why you refused to share photos of him despite having shown him other pictures of you in your youth, but it made sense once Jay saw him pull the mask down and smile for a picture.
He knows he doesn’t deserve to ask you how your brother has been or what you’ve been up to since he last saw you all those years ago. Jay feels a lump grow in his throat when he thinks about working with you and having to talk to you about the case against Hybe. He wants to, and he wants to build a relationship with you that doesn’t result in him panicking when you look into his eyes, but he doesn’t know where to start.
“Don’t think too hard about it,” Heeseung advises when he notices Jay growing quiet. “You’ll know what to do when the time comes.”
“Easy for you to say,” Jay says with a sigh. “You weren’t the one who broke her heart.”
“Y/N’s resilient. You and I both know the lengths she went through as a kid and how successful she is now. She wouldn’t have taken this case if she wasn’t willing to work with you. That should be a sign in itself.”
Jay takes Heeseung’s words into consideration, but it goes through one ear and then out the other. His heart won’t stop beating at a rapid pace and he can’t help but feel like there’s no hope for him at all.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Heeseung seems to know you too well.
The cafe across the street speaks to your soul with their delicious drinks and delectable pastry menu. You buy something for Jake on Heeseung’s card too. He merely looks at you with wide eyes and stutters over his words when he asks if you’re allowed to do that, to which you wave him off and say you’ve known Heeseung far too long for him to care about another fifteen dollars missing from the company funds.
“How long have you known Heeseung?” Jake asks as he takes a sip of his drink. The two of you sit cross from one another, basking in the atmosphere of the lunch rush hour.
“Our whole lives, practically. I think his parents moved next to mine way before either of us were born. They always joked that we’d get married and have that fairytale ending.”
Jake raises his eyebrows. “Is that still happening?”
“God no,” you say, shaking your head. “Heeseung is like a brother to me. He’d walk me to and from school when we were younger and hung out with me, back when I was a timid mess.”
“I don’t think I could ever imagine you as shy.” Jake blushes when he realizes he’s speaking candidly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Pray tell.”
“W-Well,” Jake stutters, “it’s just that, people talk and I know you know that. I’ve heard people brag about what an amazing attorney you are and how you dominate the courtroom. Or, you know, even the opposite, when people would tell me sob stories about losing to you.”
You stifle a laugh. “I’d like to think I’ve come a long way since law school. I don’t know if Jay’s ever told you, but I used to be very quiet. I kept to myself a lot. I didn’t have enough confidence to talk in class and panicked every time I was picked for a cold answer.”
Jake shudders. “I hated that. I was somebody who always came prepared to class but being put on the spot made me feel like I didn’t read the material at all.”
“Confidence comes with practice,” you tell him. “This job has built my self esteem, especially when I moved to New York for a few years. I didn’t speak English very well, just bits and pieces from music I grew up listening to and because my brother is fluent as well.”
“Do your parents speak English?”
You shake your head. “Broken English. My brother’s a special case. He listened to a lot of rap music behind our parents’ backs and dedicated so much time into learning how to rap in English that he became fluent. He was obsessed with the show Friends, too. I picked up after him.”
“Your brother seems like a cool guy.”
You smile into your cup. “Yeah, he is. He’s part of the reason why I took this case against Hybe Records. It feels right to fight for the underdog, you know?”
“Jay says the same thing,” Jake tells you. It makes your heart twinge. “He’s been my mentor for the past year and I don’t think I could ever thank him for taking me under his wing. I’m sure you know–he’s the type of guy to be fair and just. I never feel like he’s looking down on me, even when I royally screw up and he has to fix my messes.”
“He used to be really good at talking me down a ledge in law school,” you laugh. “I used to get so hot headed and frustrated every time I couldn't understand a brief or when I’d read for too long. Jay was always the calmer one between the two of us. He’d tell me to take a breath–”
“–and take it easy,” Jake finishes with you. You smile.
“Yeah, that. I still think about him saying that to me when times get tough. Jay was a big reason why I even graduated law school in the first place.”
“I thought you graduated at the top of your class?”
“He and I held equal rank,” you explain. “But mostly, he helped me see the bigger picture, you know? Jay always put my goals into perspective and reminded me why I wanted to become a lawyer in the first place.”
“Why did you?”
You set your cup down. “It feels right to help other people in ways that can’t be seen. No one talks about financial burden or responsibility. I had more than enough privilege growing up and it’s unfair that the rest of the world will never experience that kind of safety. If I can provide some kind of comfort for people going through tough times, who am I to deny them that?”
Jake nods. “I understand. I didn’t grow up in a legacy family myself and it makes me feel better knowing there are good people like you who pursued law. I guess that’s also why I wanted to become an attorney. I want to help people and this is the best way I know how.”
“Does Heeseung still make you guys take on two pro bono cases every year?”
“Three now,” Jake corrects. “But I don’t mind it that much. I love meeting new people and it makes me happy when we secure a win for them.”
“This job has brought me out of my comfort zone and has made me feel more confident while doing it. I owe a lot of that to Jay and Heeseung.”
“I’d love to learn from you,” Jake says honestly. “Even if it’s watching you in depositions or preparing case files. I feel like I could learn a thing or two.”
“I’d love that, Jake.”
He smiles. “I still can’t believe you knew Jay in law school. What was he like? I’ll bet he still had the same, brooding glare when he’s focused.”
“I think that was part of his charm,” you say with a fond smile. “Girls loved him. I mean sure, he came from a powerful family, but I think people were digging the whole ‘I-Don’t-Want-To-Talk-To-You’ vibe.”
“So how did you two end up becoming friends?”
“We sat next to each other in our criminal law class and he was struggling with a few cases,” you explain. “I excelled in criminal law while he excelled in intellectual property, which was a subject I needed help in, and we formed a study partnership in our second year.
“I couldn’t really tell you how we got as close as we did, though. We met in the library a few times a week before realizing being in a quiet environment made us too tired to read. We’d find coffee shops all over town and would end our study sessions with a late night dinner before parting ways.”
“That does sound like the Jay I know,” Jake laughs. “I don’t think I’ve seen him go home before the sun goes down.”
“Everyone knew how diligent he was with his work. He was always so confident in class when answering questions from our professor. I’m pretty sure everyone was intrigued by him. Jay mostly kept to himself until he and I became friends.”
“I can totally imagine Jay being a lone wolf.”
You laugh. “He was, kind of. We started hanging out without the premise of studying shortly after. He was probably my closest friend at the time.”
Jake can see a lingering thought behind your eyes but chooses not to comment, instead checking his watch for the time.
“Oh, we should probably be getting back soon. I’ll show you around the floor so you can get situated before you work.”
“That would be great, Jake. Thank you for volunteering to do so.”
On the walk back to the office, your steps become heavier as the reality of your present sets in. Jay, a former crush and confidant, sits just out of arm’s reach.
You replay the night in your head when Iseul had cornered the two of you at the local dive bar with the rest of your classmates upon celebrating the last final days of law school before graduation. At that time, everyone had received final offers from recruiters and were placed in law firms across Korea, yourself included.
It hurt to know that there was competition with Jay to join Lee & Associates, and that he was the chosen candidate. It hurt more to know that Jay couldn’t bring himself to reject you in private.
Iseul’s smile burns in your memory when you recall the way Jay walked away from you. Her wicked grin has etched itself into your mind, especially when you close your eyes. Time and distance has been kind to you, especially knowing she had moved from firm to firm because of negligence on her part, but you reckon there will always be a part of you that will remain standing in that dive bar feeling like no one would be willing to catch you as you fell.
That sadness planted deep seeds of distrust within you. That melancholy feeling followed you throughout the summertime, especially when Jay didn’t make the effort to call you during the summer that followed graduation.
It felt beautiful to be wanted by someone as kind and generous as Jay. It felt just as wonderful to be wanted by someone who you considered to be sought after. The brooding, quiet boy everyone thought to be mysterious had an energetic, talkative personality if you got to know him well enough. It was no wonder that you developed a crush on him towards the end of your second year in law school together.
When you think about it now, it must’ve been sickening to watch you follow Jay around like a lost puppy. You certainly felt like it from time to time. The two of you only shared one class in your final year together but stuck by each other for study sessions nonetheless. Jay was always more popular out of the two of you, always knowing people who passed him by and waving at other law students. It made you feel like you had to live up to a certain expectation and to branch out in order to be seen with Jay, but he always made it a point to tell you that it didn’t matter how many friends you had. You were always going to be his favorite.
You’d always considered yourself as an awkward, stuttering mess when it came to making friends. Something about Jay quelled your fears about socializing and playing the part of an extrovert with his calm tone and soothing demeanor. On most days, Jay was the person who encouraged you to relax and let your thoughts run wild before making brash decisions. He was the first person to listen to you talk about the burdens your parents placed on your shoulders without insinuating you had to be grateful for the life that you were born into.
You were. You are. But you aren’t grateful for being neglected and being made to feel like being born was a mistake and a burden.
Jay has seen you at your worst, whether it be tearing up over a low test score or coming back from winter break after a couple of weeks with your family. You’d argue that you’ve been with him at his worst too, having seen Jay cry a few times throughout your friendship from frustration and stress. There was something about your bond that made you believe he trusted you with his heart and soul, and something that made you believe you could trust him too.
The weight of your parents’ actions, coupled in with Jay’s selfishness, made you numb for a while.
His silence and the lack of an apology felt like the ultimate betrayal. You deleted his phone number out of anger when you began your position as a first year associate. You kept your head down and used work to distract yourself from the hollow feeling inside of you, often wondering how Jay was doing at Lee & Associates. It hurt to know you didn’t have a relationship with him where you could tell him about your day and discuss the stress of cases within legal limits. It stung to know he likely didn’t care about you enough to repair the bond after not having called you all summer. Deleting his number, as well as all of the pictures and videos you had of him from your phone, felt like the last straw. Jay was no longer going to be in your life.
It was why choosing to relocate to New York was so easy for you. Physically leaving Jay behind meant running away from everyone who had ever hurt you to start anew in a city where no one knew your name; this was a fresh opportunity to become the confident, carefree person you always yearned to be, the type of person you knew you could be. Having to navigate a new environment in a language you barely spoke strengthened your self confidence and demonstrated your resilience. If you could overcome this, you could overcome anything.
Seeing Jay’s name in the original Hybe Records case file startled you, but it wasn’t as jarring as you thought it would be. You imagined what you would say to him if you ever got the chance to see him in person again. Would there be screaming? Would you cry? Would your throat close and feel like you were choking on your words if Jay were to have acknowledged you in any way?
Would Jay apologize for the night he left you?
The answer, you later found out, was none of the above. Instead, seeing the name ‘Park Jongseong’ caused a flurry of evocative memories to replay in your mind. After years of dealing with the torment of not feeling good enough to keep your loved ones around, the struggle to find who you were in an industry unkind to timid people like you dissipated with every hour spent working. The more you worked, the more you strategized about winning cases. The more cases you won, the more confident you got.
Taking on the case against Hybe records was already a no-brainer for you. Your brother is far too passionate about music to ever forgive you for passing up a case you know so much about. Not even Jay could have deterred you from working on it. Even so, you’re eternally grateful that seeing his name doesn’t bring up unpleasant feelings like it did once before.
Jake brings you out of your thoughts when he opens the front door for you. With a bright smile and your guest badge in your hand, you walk past security without a hitch and take a deep breath before following Jake into the elevator and back to the main floor.
“I think you’ll really like the associates and paralegals,” Jake says to make conversation on the long trip to the fiftieth floor. “Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki are my favorites, though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Sunoo’s a first year associate and he’s brilliant,” Jake explains. “He’s quick on his feet and he’s quite bubbly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited to be awake at eight in the morning like he is. Jungwon’s our best parasocial as well. He’s incredibly smart and quick-thinking, and he’s thinking of studying to take the entrance exam to enter law school, actually.”
“Oh wow,” you say with a nod. “That’s incredible. His experience as a paralegal will definitely prepare him for that.”
“I think so too,” Jake agrees. “Riki’s our legal intern for the summer. He’s passionate about his work and really funny. He’s got a natural charm to him, even if his resting face makes him look unapproachable. You’ll like him.”
“If Heeseung trusts you, then I trust you,” you tell Jake, stepping out of the elevator.
“Speaking of Sunoo,” Jake mumbles as he expedites his pace to catch up with the brunette. “Sunoo, there’s someone I want you to meet.”
“Kim Y/N,” Sunoo says with a perpendicular bow. “An honor to meet you, truly. I’m Kim Sunoo”
You reciprocate. “I appreciate your kindness, Sunoo.”
“He’ll probably scream about you bowing to him in the break room,” Jake laughs. Sunoo swats his arm.
“Yah. Maybe if you were half as cool as Y/N, I’d scream about you in the break room.”
Jake pouts before smiling. “I was just telling Y/N how you’re one of my favorite first year associates.”
“He spoke quite highly of you. I heard that you’ll be assisting on the Hybe case with us?”
“If at all possible!” Sunoo exclaims. “I wouldn’t want to overstep.”
“Nonsense,” you say as you wave him off. “I’m sure Heeseung will talk to you about this sooner or later. I saw your name on the file when he and I spoke earlier. I have a feeling we’ll be working together quite often, Kim Sunoo.”
The aforementioned blushes. “That would be amazing.”
“We’ll see you later,” Jake says as the two of you wave goodbye. “See what I mean? He’s a ball of sunshine but his bite is definitely worse than his bark. Sunoo’s incredible when it comes to reading clients to absolute filth.”
“He seems sweet,” you say with a pout. “Who else am I meeting again?”
“Jungwon!” Jake shouts as he knocks on the glass door with the title ‘YANG JUNGWON | PARALEGAL.’
The boy looks up and rolls his eyes before registering you standing behind Jake. You hear him clear his throat and fix his posture before standing, beckoning the two of you into his office.
“Sorry,” Jungwon apologizes with a bow. “I’m sure that, by now, you know how loud Jake can be.”
Jake merely laughs. “It’s because I like you, Wonie.”
Jungwon faces you. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jungwon, your resident paralegal. Let me know if you ever need anything and I’d be happy to help!”
“Jungwon’s the best paralegal Lee & Associates,” Jake tells you. “It’s why he’s the only paralegal that has his own office.”
“Anyway,” Jungwon says, hiding a blush from Jake’s compliments, “this is my second year with the company and I know it like the back of my hand. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need anything.”
“That’s really sweet of you to say, Jungwon, thank you.”
“Anything for a friend of Jay and Heeseung!”
“We’ll probably come back to you before the day ends,” Jake says to the younger boy. “Is Riki still on his lunch break or is he in the bullpen?”
“He got back a few minutes ago.”
“Sweet,” Jake says. “Let’s go meet the rascal.”
Riki and Jake have a closer bond than you expected, with the younger boy greeting his elder with a bright smile and a handshake they seem to have perfected. He turns to you and listens as Jake introduces the two of you before he bows politely.
“Riki’s from Japan but chose to study here in Korea. He and Jungwon want to take the LSAT together,” says Jake.
“あなたは日本語を話していると思います？” you ask him. I assume you speak Japanese?
Riki’s face beams.
“はい、そうです,” he says. Yes, that’s right. ?どこでそれを話せるようになったのですか” Where did you learn to speak it?
“私は高校で学びました。 しかし、もっと練習が必要です.” I learned back in high school. I need a more practice, though.
Riki smiles and shakes his head. “Your Japanese is perfect.”
“Ah, you flatter me too much.” “That was so fucking cool,” Jake says. “You speak Korean, English, and Japanese?”
“Add in a little bit of Spanish and we’re golden.”
“You’re officially the coolest person in this goddamn office.”
“I hope our paths cross before your work here is done,” Riki says with another bow. “I need to get back to work, unfortunately.”
“Please, don’t let me keep you!” Riki smiles at you once again before disappearing into another office. “You're right, I really do like him.”
Jake smiles and points across the room. “The break room is just around the corner and is always filled with coffee, tea, and other snacks. The secretaries at the front of the floor make sure it’s stocked to the brim but if anything is missing, just ask. They’re usually happy to replenish.”
“Good to know.”
“Do you need anything else from me or are you ready to win this goddamn case?”
You smile.
“Let’s win this goddamn case.”
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
In the two weeks that have passed by, Jay still hasn't mustered up the courage to speak to you.
Beyond a polite greeting when the two of you cross paths in the morning, Jay can barely smile at you without his heartbeat betraying him. His chest starts to tighten and his tie feels too tight around his neck when you look into his eyes. If you look deep enough, Jay is sure you see all of the regret he’s harbored for so many years.
Heeseung has had to tell him to get a grip twice already. Jay isn’t slacking at his job as much as he thought he would. But if his mentor and dear friend could notice how awkward he was acting around you, Jay was sure you could sense it too.
In truth, Jay doesn’t know how to talk to you. He’s never felt pain like this before. He yearns to hear your voice speaking to him and to converse like once before, but he doesn’t know how to. This obstacle causes pain within Jay, and he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to say more than a sentence to you before your time with him is over.
Watching you talk freely with his colleagues is foreign to him. Jay can’t wrap his head around the fact that you’re much more confident than you were back when he knew you. The same girl who couldn’t go a few sentences without looking at her shoes is holding eye contact and smiling after she speaks. You don’t cower over your body in an attempt to make yourself look like you’re hiding in your shell. Now, you speak with assertion and hold your chin level with the floor as you hold conversation.
It’s jarring, but a large part of Jay can’t help but feel proud of you. If there’s one thing he knew you wished for back in law school, it was to grow your self esteem. Having parents who belittle your dreams and spoke pathetically about your life choices didn’t leave room for you to understand what liking yourself looked like. The accolades and achievements your parents were bestowed with felt unnatural when you knew it was only a matter of time before they had something negative to say. As attorneys themselves, defending oil companies who don’t care about oil spills in the ocean or bribing employees to keep a quiet mouth about misfortunes never felt like confidence to you. It was cowardice.
Seeing your parents in magazines with a perfect picture smile never made you want to emulate them in any capacity. They look like dolls, playing the role of hardworking attorneys and devoted parents until they cross the threshold of your home, letting the mask fall to the floor. Their confidence felt brazen. They didn’t deserve to be your role models.
Yet, here you are.
Jay doesn’t notice that he’s been staring at you from his office door until Sunghoon knocks his shoulder with his own.
“Quit staring unless you want to look like a creep.”
Jay clears his throat. “I wasn’t staring.”
“Sure,” Sunghoon smirks. “And I don’t handle the majority of our finances.” Jay rolls his eyes.
“I know what you’re gonna say and you don’t need to say it. I know I need to talk to Y/N.”
“You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
“I know, Hoon,” Jay says. He spares one more glance at you before looking away. “But it’s hard to try when I don’t think I deserve any respect or forgiveness.”
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but it’s obvious that something did happen by how tense you are when she’s around.”
“Am I really that bad?”
Sunghoon nods. “Y/N can tell. She keeps looking at you when you walk away.”
“Shit,” Jay curses.
“Whatever happened back then was a long time ago. I obviously don’t know her as well as you do, but she’s been a great asset to the team since she joined. She blends well with everybody and leaves her office door open most of the time. Y/N talks to the associates and interns when she’s taking breaks. She wouldn’t do all of that if she wasn’t willing to talk to you.”
Deep down, Jay knows his friend is right. But it’s hard to convince himself to talk to you when he pictured the agony on your face before he turned around and left you by yourself with the wolves. It makes his heart lurch from left to right. This feeling only quells when you’re out of sight and when he’s distracted with his work.
“Try,” Sunghoon says. “I know it’s scary, but the universe put her right back in your life for a season.”
“I know,” Jay says quietly. “Thanks, Sunghoon.”
“Anytime.”
Sunghoon leaves and Jay fixes his posture, pushing his shoulders back twice in a row. Jay still thinks you are the most beautiful and selfless person he’s ever seen. Looking at you makes him feel like a small volcano has ruptured within his heart and the cage that once kept his adoration for you hostage no longer keeps him in the dark. Jay isn’t the insecure young adult he was when he knew you. Even he is more sure of himself.
Jay thinks you look gorgeous now that you’re smiling more. He remembers all the times he used to take candid photos of you during impromptu moments and the squeals of discomfort you echoed when he would try to take a picture. You used to cover your mouth or shy away from the camera as if you were too embarrassed to be caught. But the way you’re smiling to his colleagues and how animated your conversations are seem to make his heart swell to see how far you’ve come.
Working alongside you in the time that he has makes Jay observant. He’s been in a room with you plenty of times, whether it be for an internal meeting or sessions where each attorney looks through files of documents. You’re still the diligent and hardworking person you were all those years ago. You still tap your pen quietly over the stack of papers and you still like to eat sweets when you’re in the thick of it. When he sees you like this, Jay begins to recall all of the nights spent in the library studying for an exam or rushing to finish an essay before the submit date. Seeing you harbor the same habits you did in law school makes his heart warm.
For as awkward as it is, Jay is glad that he gets to see you as successful as you are. He always pictured the two of you as lifelong friends back when he knew you for six months. You were reliable and honest, loyal to your core, and passionate about your work and hobbies. He loved to hear you talk because it demonstrated your confidence when the two of you were together. Jay would reckong that he’d fly a great distance if you asked him to have a conversation with him.
He loved seeing you switch on for him. One look at you and you were smiling with your eyes closed. Jay adored the way you’d laugh every time he said something mildly embarrassing or the way you would subtly blush whenever he got up early enough to buy you something from the cafe near his apartment. Jay knew he made you flustered from time to time and it brought him great joy to see you look at him like you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
When he made the executive decision not to call you three months after graduating, Jay wondered if it was cruel of him to revel in the way you reacted to him. His heart felt lighter when you smiled at him while making eye contact. He didn't mind carrying your purse when the two of you hung out or remaining the more sober of the two whenever he drank with you. It felt so natural to look after you like that despite not having many people in his life to do that for. It gave Jay a sense of purpose to do so, going as far as to seek for you when you weren’t with him.
He always felt selfish for teasing you with the purpose of seeing that shy smile and seeing you look away from him in an attempt to stop laughing. You looked so beautiful when you were bashful, so humble too. Jay prayed for borrowed time because seeing you between classes wasn’t enough. He always thought you were too cool to hang out with him no matter what other people said because you had a million passions and could talk his ear off about everything and nothing at the same time.
Realistically, Jay knows he can talk to you whenever he wants to. You’ve been mad at him before and have done days without talking to him, but when he took the time to reflect and apologize to you the way you deserved, you always let him back into your hold. Jay knows he has the opportunity to strike up a conversation since you both have been working together for a couple of weeks. He knows you won’t dismiss him.
But when he sees you laughing with Sunoo and Jungwon in the bullpen from his office, he can’t help but think about just how little he knows about you and how much you don’t know about him. Jay knows it’s his fault since he put the distance between the two of you. Yet here you are, talking to people he’s known for years like you’ve known them all your life.
Jay can talk to you, but it won’t be today.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Luck is (or isn’t) on his side when the two of you jump into each other while trying to open the door to the cafe across the street from the law office.
Regretfully, Jay wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking, as his nose was buried deep in an email he was reading as he motioned to pull the door open. It was then he realized he’d bumped into someone. It took him a few seconds to register he had humped into you.
“Oh,” you say, startled.
“Shit,” Jay curses. “I’m sorry. I, uh, wasn’t watching where I was going.” He pockets his phone. “I should really start doing that.”
“You’re lucky I don’t have coffee in my hands,” you say with a laugh. “It’s fine, Jay.”
You let him pull the door open for you after he corrects himself. With his head, he gestures for you to enter first and you give a polite smile as a silent thank you. Jay forces himself not to audibly sigh behind you, instead choosing to glance at the ceiling and pray he doesn’t say anything stupid.
He meets you at the cashier line and notices what you’re wearing. Your forest green dress hugs you in a respectable way, contouring to the ridges of your body. The color looks gorgeous against your skin tone, as does the color of your jewelry. Your coat is dangling from your arms and your hair is styled in a way that makes you look almost glamorous.
“You look stunning.”
To his horror, you look back and catch him looking at you.
“Thank you,” he hears you say after a long pause. Jay feels his cheeks reddening.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “That was weird, wasn’t it?”
He’s surprised when you shake your head.
“Not weird at all. I bought this dress and took the tag off prematurely. I wore it today so I could get use out of it since I’d spent so much money on it, so I’m glad someone likes it.”
That same, shy smile adorns your face. But this time, you aren’t looking away from him. That makes Jay’s heart flutter and for once, he feels like he’s got a shot at making things right with you.
“You really do look stunning,” Jay tells you as he looks you directly in the eye. He doesn’t dare let his gaze wander.
Before either of you can say anything, the cashier is waving you towards the counter. He doesn’t think twice about pulling his wallet out and hanging it to the employee behind the counter when you finish ordering, quickly saying his own order before smiling at you.
“You don’t have to pay for me,” you tell him.
“I know,” he says with a meek smile. “But let me, yeah?”
You don’t fight him on it, namely because the employee has already used his card by the time you could even think about pulling your own out. Jay ushers you to the side where the waiting area is and puts his hands deep in his pockets.
The two of you are quiet for a while. It’s semi busy and the sound of chatter and steaming milk reverberates around the room. Jay looks at you through the corner of his eyes and sees you looking at your watch for the time. If he's to say anything, he needs to say it now.
“It’s good to see you again,” is what Jay settles with. You turn to look at him. “I didn’t realize you were the borrowed partner. It’s good to see that you achieved your dreams.”
You don’t know how to respond. You choose to respond honestly.
“It makes me happy knowing that we both made it,” you tell him. “Heeseung told me he promoted you to senior partner a few months ago. That’s incredible.”
“Not as incredible as being the youngest person to be named senior partner at Tang-Young.” Jay smiles at you. “That’s incredible.”
“It feels that way,” you tell him earnestly. “I used to think days like these were far-fetched, like I’d never be named senior partner or have my foot in the door. It feels crazy to feel put together for once.”
“I know the feeling,” Jay agrees. “I have my own place and haven’t had any help from my parents since I graduated law school. I’ve been on my own for a while now.”
The barista calls out your orders. Jay lets you pick up your beverage before he takes his.
“Do you ever think about when you were a first year associate? I think about sitting in the bullpen all the time. Sometimes it feels wrong to have my own office.” Jay opens the door for you and lets you walk outside first before he follows.
“I picture myself out there when I first joined the firm,” Jay confesses. “I was so young and naive…I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to do with my career yet.”
“It’s insane how much time has passed,” you comment, looking both ways before crossing the street. Jay doesn’t think you say it as you do on purpose, but emotions tug on his heart strings. “I feel like I was just a first year associate only a few days ago.”
Jay swallows harshly. “A lot has changed. Some for the better…some for the worst.”
You finally look at him when the two of you reach the other side of the road. He doesn’t like talking in tongues or minding your language when he speaks to you because he wants to apologize. Jay has spent the last few weeks dreaming about what he’d say to you or what he’d do to make up for his shortcoming years prior but he doesn’t know how to start. He doesn’t know what he should do first or if you’d consider hearing him out.
Today is an indication that you might be, is the conclusion Jay comes to.
The cliches of time slowing down is what he feels when you stop to look at him. He feels like you’re staring through his soul, almost as if you’re inspecting him from head to toe. Jay doesn’t know what you’re thinking and he’s too afraid to ask. He can’t tell what’s going on in your head with your emotionless expression, rocking back and forth to keep his balance.
Did he say the wrong thing? Jay bites his tongue and wishes he could wake up from whatever dream he’s having. This doesn’t even feel real. He can barely hear the sound of taxis and people around him through the thumping of his own heart. Jay can’t see anyone else but you, so he reckons he could open his eyes and still be in his bed.
But he blinks and you’re still standing in front of him.
“Things might’ve changed and so do people. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
He watches you walk towards the entrance of the building and forces himself to jog until he’s walking next to you. Jay catches himself and tries not to bump into the people walking in the opposite direction as him. When the two of you are back on the fiftieth floor, you bow to the secretaries and greet Heeseung and Jake, who are standing next to one another.
“Oh good,” Heesueng says, “Y/N, you’re here. I know you have to appear in court in a few hours and I was wondering if you’d be willing to stop by Attorney Ahn’s office.”
“Ahn?” you ask him quizzically. “What for?”
“We secured an agreement for them to hand over the Hybe’s contracts. They didn’t want to disclose and Ahn tried hard to block this from being filed, but I think Judge Han allowed it to pass. Do you think you could grab the box from his office?”
“Sure thing,” you tell him with a nod. “I should be leaving in about an hour. No idea when I’ll be back, but I planned to put in some extra hours. Might as well get a head start by looking at those files.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” Heeseung praises before walking back into his office.
“I’m kind of offended neither of you invited me to get coffee,” Jake says as he hands Jay a manila folder.
“Maybe if this file was on my desk yesterday, I would have,” Jay says with the quirk of his mouth.
Jake shakes his head dramatically. “Do you see what I have to deal with, Y/N? It’s like he wants to punish me.”
“Punishing you would be making you go to housing court three times a week, but I don’t,” Jay retorts. “Instead, you get to work with the big kids.”
“Atta boy,” Jake says as he elbows Jay’s side. “But seriously, I want an invite next time.”
“We ran into each other this morning but how about you and I go together tomorrow morning, say around eight?”
“I think you’re my favorite attorney!” Jake exclaims.
You turn to Jay. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“Yes,” Jay accepts immediately. “Yeah, uh, I’d love to join.”
“Great.” You look between them with a pleasant smile. “Well if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to prepare for trial. See you this afternoon?”
“Count on it,” Jake says with a mock salute.
You leave the two of them and Jake watches as his mentor forces himself to pry his eyes off of you. In the duration that he’s gotten to see you and Jay work alongside one another, Jake has never seen his mentor at a loss for words before you started to work in the same office. The younger boy looks between the two of you before slipping back into Jay’s, waiting for him to follow suit.
Jake joined Lee & Associates as a first year associate. His designated spot in the bullpen felt scared to him, like it was the one place in the entire office that didn’t make him feel like a belittled mess. Law school was over and Jake couldn’t help but feel nervous about practicing law in the real world where the consequences would be more fatal than a bad test score.
Jay was in need of an associate at the time and there didn’t seem to be anybody who could step up to the plate and deal with Jay’s on-and-off personality, along with the fast pace he kept when working. Before getting to know him, Jay was someone unreadable to Jake. He felt untouchable even though his desk was right in front of the bullpen with the glass doors separating the two of them, mimicking something as dramatic as The Great Wall.
Yet he finds himself seeing Jay like a brother after the time spent together. Jake knows his mentor is anything but a stone cold, hardened attorney people make him out to be. Jay prefers to keep his emotions closer to himself rather than on his sleeve for people to notice at first glance. He loves loyalty and honesty, and will go to great lengths to award people who stand beside him through tough times.
It’s why Jake can see the conflict in Jay’s eyes when he sees him looking at you. Jay’s stare is far away, almost as if he’s looking at the spot you stood in to yearn for what he once had. It takes him a moment or two to collect himself and continue with his day.
Jay clears his throat when he realizes he’s been quiet.
“Do you have the briefing for the damage collection case?”
Jake stares at his friend. “I’ll give it to you if you tell me what’s going on between you and Y/N.”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Jay sputters in an attempt to seem calm. His heart is beating twice as fast. Jake merely shakes his head.
“Nah, man. You look at Y/N like you’re seconds away from telling her you’re in love with her.”
“I am not in love with her,” Jay defends immediately. He sees Jake raise his eyebrow and disconnects eye contact. “We used to know each other in law school and now we aren’t as close anymore.”
“See, that’s the thing. I know that. Everyone else knows that too. But there’s something neither you nor Y/N are acknowledging and there’s tension in the air whenever you two are in the same room.”
“There’s no tension.”
Jake deadpans. “There’s so much tension. Even Riki can sense it.”
“Don’t bring interns into this.”
“I’m not bringing anyone into anything,” Jake replies. “It’s you and your weird mojo that needs to be fixed.”
“My mojo?”
“You’ve been off kilter for the past month,” says Jake. “I’m your right hand, you know? I’m with you for ninety percent of the week. I can tell when something’s bothering you.”
Jay sighs. “It’s complicated, Jake. I…did some things in the past that I wasn’t proud of and I can’t bring myself to talk to Y/N, especially knowing how it all went down.”
“You don’t have to be so cryptic about it,” Jake says sarcastically.
Take a seat,” Jay instructs. “You’ll want to sit down.”
Recounting the story to Jake makes Jay feel like he’s telling a juvenile story about two lovestruck teenagers who were too immature to know any better. He feels the guilt rising to the surface all over again, as if he were shaming his younger self for acting so selfishly.
Truthfully, Jay knew you didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated you. He viewed you as the epitome of sunshine even if you didn’t believe him on most days. Your quiet demeanor hid a blooming flower. You deserved more than a coward who couldn’t own up to his feelings.
They stay in Jay’s office, foregoing the workday to discuss what happened the night he left you and what transpired in the summer that followed. Jay tells Jake that he and his parents hopped on a flight abroad a few days after graduation. He tells him how you were always at the forefront of his mind and how that sad look in your eye imprinted in his mind every time he closed his eyes.
“Shit,” Jake says, leaning back to clutch against Jay’s chair.
“Indeed.” Jay averts his attention to the city below his office from his window. “I don’t know how to act around her. She walks around like nothing happened between us but when I look at her, all I can picture is that look on her face when I walked away.”
“Have you ever considered that Y/N has moved on?”
Jay shakes his head. “Heeseung said the same thing but this isn’t something you get over, Jake.”
“You said it yourself, though. Y/N is a resilient person. You just told me what you admired about her most was that she could see the bigger picture and react accordingly.”
“I used to think she never had the guts to stand up for herself when people were meant to her,” Jay confesses. “I’d get so frustrated and we’d get into arguments because I’d tell her she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. But Y/N would always tell me that some battles aren’t worth fighting. I never understood it then.”
“And now?”
Jay sighs. “Seeing her here, making friends with all of the associates and walking into Heeseung’s office like she owns the place, makes me realize she always knew what she was talking about. I mentioned she didn't have a great relationship with her parents, right? Well, I think part of me always forgot that since I had a great relationship with mine. I was more vocal than she was. I didn’t have a problem telling people off if they deserved it.
“But she was quieter. Maybe it was by nature or maybe it was because she didn’t like talking unless she had a reason to. I don’t know. But when I look at her now, I don’t see that angry, frustrated person anymore. I can’t begin to describe it. It’s like she broke out of her shell and became a completely different person. More confident, I’d say.”
Jake nods. “You know, she told me and Sunoo that she has a tattoo of a butterfly on her hip.”
“A butterfly?”
“A butterfly. A monarch, I think. Anyway, the type doesn’t matter. It’s just funny that you think she’s come out of her shell when butterflies start out as caterpillars and have to go through their metamorphosis period before becoming a butterfly.”
Jay bites his lip in contemplation. Jake continues.
“Monarch butterflies migrate to warm weather once a year because they can’t survive the cold. They fly in groups, hundreds of thousands at a time and build communities. Y/N did the same thing, if you think about it. She left Korea to find herself in New York and returned when she was ready.”
“I never thought about it like that,” Jay says. “I knew she was working from New York but I always thought it was to get away from me.”
“Maybe in the beginning,” Jake adds. “Maybe Y/N needed to get away from you, her parents, and her life as she knew it to find the person she was always supposed to be.”
“I will never forgive myself for not calling her after we graduated.”
“You don’t have to, but I think Y/N has.” Jake leans his elbows on Jay’s desk and looks the man in the eye. “Look, I know I haven’t known her for as long as you have, but in the month we’ve worked together, I’ve learned a lot from her. I’ve seen her talk to the opposing counsel in depositions and learned that she can get to the point without saying much. She’s really confident in herself and is almost always willing to help associates when they approach her.
“What I’m trying to say is, you need to let go of the person you once knew and the person you were back then. You and I both know how far you’ve come in your career and I’m sure Heeseung knows how much you’ve changed as a person since you graduated. But you can’t keep living in the past if you want to move forward.”
Jake’s right and Jay knows it. Every day, he wakes up and his first thought is the memory of you averting your eyes from him at the graduation ceremony. He thinks about his wrongdoings more often than he’d like to admit and can’t seem to move past this feeling of inadequacy when it comes to you. Jay contemplates on whether or not he deserves your respect or forgiveness, the unknown being the obstacle that prevented him from apologizing to you in the first place.
But he needs to let that go. He’s not the person who decides whether or not he deserves forgiveness. You are.
You are the person who dictates how you feel. Not Jay, not anyone else. For the past month, Jay has been overthinking about how to talk to you if it’s not related to the litigation. He can talk to you when it’s in conjunction about the Hyb case, but he can’t talk to you about anything else.
Jay needs to start trusting you and your judgment in a way he couldn’t before. But unlike now, Jay wasn’t in your crossfires all those years ago. The version of him during law school never gave you a reason to overcome the loss of a friendship. In order to understand you better, he needs to stop thinking about you the way you were back then. For right now, you’re a stranger he knows everything about.
“You’re right,” Jay nods. “I’ve been so caught up in dealing with this shock that I forgot Y/N’s had to deal with it longer. It makes sense that she isn’t as shaken up as I am.”
“She’s smart and way more perceptive than you give her credit for. I think Riki’s about to ask Y/N to adopt him because she keeps talking to him in Japanese.” Jake smiles. “Speaking of which.”
Jay quirks his eyebrow. “Speaking of what?”
“You so clearly still have feelings for Y/N.” Jay opens his mouth and immediately closes it.
“Lying to you would be useless, wouldn’t it?”
“I’m also more perceptive than you think. That, and you talk about her like she saved your cat from a tree, or something.”
“I can’t help it,” Jay sighs as he rubs his face. “Being around Y/N makes me feel the way I did all those years ago. I don’t think I ever got over her. She had this ability to keep people in her grasp, you know? Once you peeled back her layers and looked past her shy personality, there she was. Now, it’s like watching everyone else meet the Y/N i knew she always was, just more openly. It’s weird to see her talking to everyone but in a good way, you know? She’s not apologizing for who she is anymore.”
“Like I said,” Jake says, “Y/N’s a butterfly.”
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Later in the afternoon, Jay stops responding to emails when he feels his eyes getting tired from looking at his laptop. The conversation he had with Jake weighs on his mind with every passing hour and his leg bounces with anticipation for your arrival back to the office.
Throughout the entire day, he’s been reminding himself that he has also grown and matured since the last time you saw him. He’s no longer somebody who hates conflict and speaking his mind. His job has taught him the value of saying what you mean and sticking to an argument until the very end. Jay’s tendency to falter in himself has diminished over the years, especially since working at a legacy company such as Lee & Associates.
His success as an attorney plays a factor in his confidence, too. Seeing his father in the courtroom inspired him as a child to pursue a career in law so that he may one day fight on behalf of people who don’t have a voice themselves. Never in his wildest dreams did Jay ever think he alone could make a big difference in the lives of others but he sits behind his desk with a promotion just shy of having his own surname on the door in the main office.
Jay’s job means everything to him. It means working hard after spending countless days and nights stressing over cases and essays in law school. It means working with his colleagues to bring out the best in people and take down companies who value profit over people. It means making a difference in the lives of those who aren’t as fortunate as him. If Lee & Associates wasn’t as philanthropic and as morally-good as Jay would’ve hoped, he doesn’t know if he would’ve said yes to their offer when it was offered to him.
He decides to take a break and head over to the break room when he bumps into Sunghoon, who has a scowl etched on his face.
“Hoon,” Jay says, tugging on Sunghoon’s arm to force him to stop walking. “Are you alright?”
“No,” he mumbles.
Jay’s eyebrows contort in confusion. “What’s happening? Is there anything I can do? Talk to me.”
Sunghoon sighs. “It’s nothing you can fix, unfortunately. Remember when Heeseung asked Y/N to get the Hybe contract files from Ahn?”
“What about it?”
“Y/N met with him in his office and he sent her home with one box.”
“I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing.”
Sunghoon points behind Jay, who sees a room filled to the brim with boxes.
“He sent the rest here.”
The two men walk over to the office and see you standing next to Heeseung with both hands on your hips. You look just short of enraged. Jay swears he can see steam coming out of your ears.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jay says as his eyes scan the boxes piled on top of one another. “How could we possibly get through all of this?”
“Hybe’s burying us in paperwork so we look unprepared in our next meeting,” you say in disbelief. “I wish I could’ve slapped that smug look off of his face when he gave me only one of the damn boxes.”
“We might have to fight about who gets to do that.” Heeseung curses under his breath. “We’ve got two weeks before our next hearing to determine the next step in the settlement.”
“It looks like they’re gonna win,” Sunghoon grains from beside Jay. “They’re not giving up the recoupment clause.”
“The answer is in here somewhere,” Jay adds. “We just have to find it.”
“We’ll be up all night.” You look somewhere between defeated and determined, although Jay isn’t sure which is which.
“Not if we work together,” says Jungwon, who has Sunoo and Riki standing behind him. The five of you look behind you to see them standing in the doorway. “We want to help.”
“We can’t possibly ask you to do that,” Heeseung says. “I know the expectation is that you stay later than six in the evening, but this is too much to ask of you guys.”
“You aren’t asking,” Sunoo insists as he sits down in front of Heeseung. “Jay and Jake already have me working on a few of the case files. It makes sense to have another set of eyes that knows this case well.”
“I want the practice as well,” Riki agrees, taking a seat next to Sunoo. “Jungwon and Sunoo have been teaching me how to read these types of documents and pull relevant information out of them. I’d really appreciate the experience.”
“You’re sure about this?” Jay asks.
“We’re positive,” Sunoo confirms.
“Well, you guys can go home at any point,” Heeseung says. “This goes for everyone in the room. God only knows how much bullshit we’ll have to dig through.”
The sun starts to wane over the blue sky when Jay decides he needs a change of scenery. He’s been sitting in the same chair for a few hours at this point and desperately craves the sweet melodies of soft jazz from his vinyl collection. He excuses himself and lets everyone know he’ll be in his office if anybody needs anything.
You watch him stand up from where you’re seated and as he walks out of the room. You must admit, Jay still looks criminally handsome. That tendency to cower into yourself whenever he looks at you is still present today, especially when he makes room for you to speak during depositions and internal meetings.
For a while, you were hellbent on making an enemy out of Jay for what he did to you. The person you were before leaving Seoul was somebody who would likely paint Jay as a target and a villain for life. The friends you made in New York would entertain you in conversations about boys who have a tendency to break hearts and you always had a story to share.
Even so, time has been kind to you. The years spent focusing on your career and your loved ones has molded you into the kind of person who can see people for who they are, not what they’ve done and have atoned for. Jay has worked all his life to prove himself worthy of being somebody who can take care of himself and stand on his own two feet. In a way, you’ve done the same thing.
Half an hour goes by before you decide you need to stretch your legs. You make the bold decision to take your work with you and pay no mind to Heeseung, who winks at you on the way out.
Approaching Jay feels like a mix between normal and anxiety inducing. Seeing him hunched over his desk with a scowl on his face as he concentrates is nostalgic to you, and it makes you remember all the times you’d search for him after your classes ended just to find him in the library with a gargantuan book beneath his focus. His hair still falls as perfectly as you remember it and he still twirls his pen in his fingers like he used to.
It brings a set of uneasiness to your stomach. You’ve spent years trying to forget Jay before coming to the conclusion that you could never forget someone who once meant so much to you. All of the hatred you harbored for the man you held deep feelings for dissipated when you remembered that he too was growing and trying to find out who he was aside from all he once knew.
Gathering the courage to knock on his door, you force yourself to do it before you convince yourself to back out.
Jay looks up at you like you’re the last person he expected to see. It makes your stomach drop.
“Sorry,” you mutter when he doesn’t motion for you to enter. “I’ll go.”
“No!” Jay says immediately. He clears his throat and puts his pen down, waving you into his office. “Come in, please.” You walk inside and close the door behind you, the sound of soft jazz is reminiscent of the times you used to study with him in his apartment.
“I needed a break from sitting in the same spot,” you tell him, standing before his desk and looking at the decor around the room. “I see you still love collecting vinyls.”
“My collection has definitely grown,” he laughs. You feel his eyes watching you explore his office before you find your way to sit in the chair in front of him.
When the air settles around you, a sense of nervousness washes over your body. Suddenly, you can feel your entire weight on the chair you’re on top of. You can hear the clock that resides from just outside of his office and your mouth becomes too dry to handle.
You’re not sure why you’ve come to see Jay. You don’t know what you’d say to him. All of those nights you imagined a great big showdown where Jay would fall to his knees and apologize to you, just for you to refute his attempts, don’t matter anymore. You look back at yourself and think of it as silly even though that’s what you needed at a time. But part of growing up and learning about who you are is realizing your capabilities and strengths. Being able to reconcile with the past that hurt you without feeling pure anger towards the cause was arguably the hardest thing you’ve done.
You two are grown versions of your unsure, unconfident selves. The wall you spent your teenage years building has fallen down with time, knowledge, and grace. Two beings achieving a high clarity of peace is what’s left in this room.
It isn’t that you forgive and forget. Rather, taking the time to heal and forgive Jay for embarrassing you has made you realize there are worse things than a memory filled with people you aren’t in contact with anymore. Nobody in your life knew about what had happened because you hadn’t bothered to keep in touch with anyone, and no one did the same with you. The shame and burden you carried and blamed on everyone else was misdirected. It was your own insecure nature and unconfident persona that prevented you from healing.
Separating oneself from the pair of people who stripped away your confidence was the lowest you ever felt. The violent words echoing through your ears after a particularly bad test in high school broke your heart for the last time. You would no longer hold any room in your heart for another chance. The pieces of you that shattered onto the floor were swept away, never to be seen again.
You kept your head down for the years of the time you lived with them. There was no use to talk back and fight to be seen by them, even if it was to glare at you for misbehaving. It came to a point where even unloving attention from your parents was enough, settling with the notion that you wouldn’t get what you asked for as you wanted it.
But having realized sweet ignorance was bliss made you sick to your stomach. It made you ashamed to know you had spent so long wishing the people who brought you unto this Earth would look at you. The realization that changing everything about yourself would do nothing but damage in the end, taught you more than you could ever sum into words. It didn't matter if you were loud or quiet. They would never look at you the way they looked at your older brother.
It was hard to come to terms with it. Everyday was a battle against immense frustration and turmoil as you tried to navigate your way as a young adult without the opinions of your parents shoved down your throat. They’d already expected the best out of you, so perhaps being interested in law was the only thing you’ve ever done that made your parents feel as though you were worth celebrating.
Separating yourself post-high school and college was easier than ever before, especially when they hadn’t shown up to your law school graduation.
That final nail in the coffin is what solidifies what remained of the relationship. You wouldn’t see them save for holiday parties to save face, especially when your colleagues and mentors were good friends of theirs. The posed smiles and awkward conversations were part of your way to make connections and play the game before you ended up crying on your bathroom floor. Playing the part of an obedient daughter only to turn into a stranger to your parents was a role you were likely born to play.
“I was wondering if I could look through the paperwork with you.”
Jay’s eyes widen. “With me?”
“Only if you want to! I mean, it was always nice to work with you in the library all those years ago. I thought it might be a nice change of pace.”
Jay looks at you through his lashes and can’t believe the grace he’s been given to have you approach him before he got the chance to. The unexpected load of files put a dent in his plans. It seems, however, that somebody is looking out for him,
“I…I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Jay says. It’s as if the filter on his mouth has disappeared because he can’t stop talking about what he’s thinking about. “I didn’t know you were the person who was going to help us out on this case and seeing you for the first time in years made me think about when we were kids. I probably don’t have the right to say this, so forgive me, but I really missed you.”
That shy smile he always knew you to have adorned your lips.
“I missed you too,” you tell him. “There are a lot of things I’ve done that I wish I could have shared with you. Although I admit I had a few weeks to prepare seeing you before I officially said yes to helping with this case.”
“I used to think about what would happen if I ever saw you in court,” Jay confesses. “I’d like to believe I’d say hi, or something.”
“I probably would’ve done the same thing. Do you still play guitar?”
“Every chance I get,” Jay smiles. “I’ve added a few electric and acoustics editions to my collection. I have an entire music room back at home.”
“I always remembered you being so musically gifted. If you didn’t become a lawyer, you probably would’ve been a successful musician.”
“You always flattered me too much.”
“Why stop now?
Jay smiles at you. “Do you still want cats?”
“I have a cat called Miso. I’ve had her for a few months. She’s still such a small baby. Is it bad that I’m considering getting another one?”
“Not at all,” Jay agrees. “But three might make you a cat lady.”
You pretend to weigh your options. “I’ll think about it.”
“I can’t believe you lived in New York for a few years. I remember you loving the big city.”
“I think I’ve changed a bit,” you tell him. “I love the hustle and bustle, but living in Manhattan made me realize I miss living away from the noise. I like traveling into town and having the option to leave it, you know?”
“Definitely,” Jay nods. “My place is in a high rise so I don’t hear construction noises or birds chirping when I want it to be quiet. I got the chance to move in a few years after I started my job here.”
“I live just on the outskirts of Seoul. It’s a good sized neighborhood in a family town. I like that it’s so quiet. I usually hear children who live in the houses play on the streets on weekend mornings.”
“That sounds like quite a peaceful life.”
You smile at him like you know something he doesn’t.
“Yeah, it really is.”
“Do you ever think about how long ago law school was?” you ask. “Sometimes I pinch myself when I’m given big responsibilities. I pinched myself over and over again when I was named senior partner and nearly gave myself a bruise.”
“I see the associates in the bullpen everyday and think about how that was me ages ago,” Jay responds. By now, he’s turned his attention from the document to you. “I used to be an insecure prick who pretended to have everything under control. I was so desperate to prove myself. I’m sure you know how that feels. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep in the first four years of my career.”
“You and I both. I think my life got more stressful when I started my career. Law school did not prepare me mentally for what it was gonna be like.
“But it’s rewarding, right? I feel like I’m doing something good with my life. And you know Heeseung, you know he wouldn't sign off on clients who are morally corrupt.”
“It feels incredible, honestly. Being able to help people makes me feel like I’ve served a good purpose. I used to think about texting you all the dumb mistakes people made when I was a first year. It’s hilarious to know how many professionals can’t remain professional.”
Jay’s smile weakens as his guilt creeps back into his mind.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly yet firmly.
You look at him. “I know. Let’s focus on the case, yeah?”
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Arriving at the office as the sun is peeking from the horizon is not a new phenomenon for you. Despite the crust that formed around your eye last night, indicating a good rest, you feel somewhat sluggish as you wait for Jake to finish ordering his coffee.
“Jay woke up late again,” he snickers as he pockets his phone. “He probably won’t be at the office until eight.”
“It’s fine,” you tell him. “We all need beauty sleep after yesterday.”
“Ahn can kiss my ass. I felt like I was knee deep in paperwork. My eyes were gonna fall out of their sockets.”
“You and me both,” you sigh, retrieving your beverage and pastry. The warmth lifts your mood. “I’ve seen my fair share of paperwork and dirty moves, but they never cease to surprise me.”
“The audacity of him to give you one box to leave with, too,” Jake says with venom in his tone. “I’ll punch him for you.”
“How about you hold him down while I do the punching?”
“I like your style.”
The office itself is still relatively quiet, save for the few first year associates milling around the bullpen and the break room. The coffee and espresso machine have seen better days, and you make a mental note to tell Heeseung to invest in new ones.
Jake raises his hand in a mock salute as you walk towards your office. The pretty skyline will always remain a marvel to you. To live a life of privilege and to neglect the beauty around you would be a disservice to all that has raised you and all what will be awarded to you. The streets below you begin to fill with people commuting to work. It feels much like New York, where the city never sleeps and the people never lose their dreams.
Working with Jay in his office felt normal. Sitting in front of him and getting to know his life as he built it wasn’t as hurtful as you once thought it would be. With each quip, it felt as if the two of you fell into old habits like there was never a time where the two of you spent any time apart.
You could tell Jay had more to say than he led on. But hearing a full confession or an apology in the office didn’t feel right. It’s why you shut him down. Hearing the sincerity in his voice when he came to apologize, but having a short conversation between looking through piles upon piles of documents, felt too colloquial. You’re owed the decency of no distractions, at least, even if you’ve done the work to grow and heal.
There was once a time you swore you’d never give Jay a second chance and that actions, at face value, mean more than any rectification. Back when you were blindsided by hurt and emotion, the realization that the person you cared about the most leaving you felt like a punch to the gut. If Jay had the audacity to leave you as you were, what good were you to anyone else?
The answer isn’t simple. It wasn’t until you realized running away from Korea and relocation to New York didn’t make you as happy as you thought it did.
You were lying to yourself when you’d smile and tell your friends that it was the best decision you ever made. You had fooled yourself into believing it as you said it, sipping on whatever alcoholic beverage was at hand at the time. But coming home to an empty loft made those unsavory thoughts ruminate in your mind until you fell asleep. Even so, you dreamt about what your life would be like if Jay had chosen to stay.
Years of running resulted in a sudden crash. It was like your life wasn’t as perfect as you made it out to be. You loved the part of you that made a life in New York and you loved the people and the work that was established, but a larger part of you missed your life in Seoul. You missed your friends, your old haunts, and the places you swore you’d never go but found yourself visiting when you came back home. You missed your family too, or whatever was left of it. In the years you spent overseas, you learned to come to terms with the notion that who you are is not a product of people who do not know you. Rather, who you are is an accumulation of your experiences and passions, and nothing else.
That realization made it easier to forgive Jay. Truthfully, you didn’t know if you’d ever see him again and the thought of what you would say if you came face-to-face with him, or what apologies you would’ve wanted to hear from him, didn’t matter. It became something you tossed at the bottom of your priority list because relying on the actions of other people became a dangerous habit of yours. You’d look at yourself in the mirror and slowly begin to like what you saw looking back at you.
To let go of the past feels like freedom. You could dwell on everyone who wronged you and remain spiteful at all of the times you were left to feel like an embarrassment and a burden, but none of that could have ever helped you arrive in the present day as tranquil as you are. Every happenstance, good and bad, happened for a reason, and it isn’t up to you to figure out why.
You’re brought out of your thoughts when Jungwon knocks on your door.
“Y/N?” he asks timidly.
“What’s up?”
“Do you have the time to go over these case files with me?” Jungwon asks. “I know you have a lunch meeting you need to prepare for, but none of the other attorneys are in the office right now and Heeseung needs these as soon as possible.”
You smile at him. “I’ll make time.”
The two of you sit in relative silence for the next twenty minutes, hearing the sounds of paper turning and pens scribbling in the margins. The city’s waking up and people are filing into the office one by one as the two of you remain in the vacated copy room just around the main office. Jungwon suggested relocating to the small corner for concentration purposes and you start to understand why he’s everybody’s favorite paralegal.
“This stuff is insane,” Jungwon comments. You look up at him to see a scowl etched on his face. “How can people willingly take advantage of people trying to pursue their dreams?”
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “It kills me to see greedy corporations treat people like they don’t matter.”
“It’s unfair,” Jungwon says. “If I had my way, I’d stick it to these music executives. Screw Ahn for burying us in paperwork.”
“Making the musician pay back a certain fee feels almost impossible, doesn’t it?” you ask Jungwon rhetorically. “It almost feels like the label is stealing talent and profiting off of it wherever and whenever they can.”
“These poor people are trying to make a living doing what they love. None of this is fair. It’s stupid for labels to require a certain number of albums to be made under contract.”
“Even more stupid when labels cut them loose because they can’t pay back the recoupment quickly.”
“If I had time in the courtroom with Attorney Ahn, I think I’d rip him a new one.”
You laugh. “How long have you been a paralegal, Jungwon?”
“A couple of years,” he tells you. “I’m thinking about other career options in the meantime, but I love my job and I love helping the associates when they ask me.”
“Why would you think of different career paths if this is what you love to do?”
He sighs. “I’m not good at testing. I mean, I took the bar and failed. It feels like it’s too late for me, you know?”
“Well, you could always take it again.”
He shakes his head. “It’s no use. I’m not good at practice tests but I could tell you about any case. I’ve been at this job long enough to discuss concepts and have them make sense, but it’s testing that gets me. I just get so anxious, you know? I second guess myself all the time and I hate that I do that.”
“Testing used to be my greatest enemy.”
“What changed?”
“Jay, honestly. He was always the better student when it came to that kind of stuff. I had really bad testing anxiety but he managed to help me study enough to the point where I knew I would ace them.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize you guys used to be so close.”
“I’d say he was my closest friend in law school. It’s nice to see him again after all these years.”
Jungwon doesn’t press further, instead returning his attention to the documents below him.
“Ending the recoupment expectation means the artist can keep the profit from the moment it’s been released, right?”
“They’ll have to split their earnings with people who worked on the project based on copyright laws, but yes, essentially.”
Jungwon sits with his thoughts and stares at the documents before him. His hands sift through the folders as his eyes dart from page to page.
“This is what I love about my job,” he begins. “I love helping people because it’s what I feel like I was meant to do. I love solving problems and I love fixing them.”
“You owe it to yourself to try, you know,” you encourage. “Going to law school isn’t easy, but not many people can say they have your experience. You’ve got a few years of working with associates and partners under your belt. There’s no reason to be afraid of taking the LSAT.”
“I guess I’m just nervous that I won’t be good enough,” Jungwon confesses. “Every day, I’m surrounded by the smartest people I know who all graduated from the best law school in Korea. How could I ever compete with that?”
His doubt speaks to your younger self, the one who cowered in fear when your parents neglected to praise you for a job well done or turned a blind eye when you asked for advice. Jungwon’s worries speak to the part of you that wished for external validation when it came to your capabilities and strengths, because doing it yourself could only go so far.
His words remind you of moments when you felt small, like the world was too big and you’d never have enough time to discover all the wonders it could bring. You were meek back then, thriving off of whatever little validation they gave you just to have them knock it down. You don’t know why you spent so many years yearning for their approval, but never getting it felt too familiar.
Your acceptance at the most prestigious law school in Korea was met with apprehension. You recall the sinking feeling in your stomach the moment the idea about your worth was proposed; having your parents question your capabilities or how you’d fit in with your peers had you second guessing your career path, leaving you wondering if following your passion was worth the struggle and pain of convincing them to let you pursue it.
They agreed to let you go under the condition that they pay for the first year before you’d need to pay for the remaining two. It felt unfair and it still feels unfair. But what’s done is done and you managed to gain the courage to chase after that dream of yours that always seemed just too far out of reach, and it has paid off.
Now, you look at Jungwon as if he were a ghost of your former self.
“You say you’re worried about committing to a career path, but it seems like you’ve got your heart set on becoming a lawyer,” you tell him. “Don’t you think you should explore that?”
Jungwon smiles at you.
“I think I will.”
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Jay finds you in the break room laughing with Jungwon when he’s able to pull himself away from meetings. You look gorgeous when you laugh as freely as you are, like you aren’t shy about showing people what you look like when you smile. It warms his heart to hear that fluttering laugh of yours.
“You’re serious about helping me study for the LSAT?” he hears Jungwon ask you.
“Dead serious. It’ll take some time but the test comes around a few times a year. Take it easy, okay? There’s no need to rush.”
The younger boy sees Jay approach and nods his head. “I should get going. See you later, Y/N!”
“Jungwon’s taking the LSAT?” Jay asks when the former disappears.
“I’m trying to convince him. He told me earlier about why he’s hesitant to go to law school but I think Jungwon can do it if he really tries.”
“I think so too,” Jay agrees. “He’s the only person in this office who knows what’s going on. Might as well promote him to first year associate. We’ll definitely miss him around the office, though.”
“All the more reason to hire him when he graduates.”
Jay smiles. This kind of generosity is something he always thought of you.
“Anyway, I have a meeting in thirty minutes and I’m considering canceling if not for the free lunch.”
“Hot young finance wannabe taking you out to an expensive steakhouse?” he jokes.
“Try a sixty-year old former housewife afraid that her assets are in shambles when they haven’t been touched in years,” you laugh. “The restaurant is a dim sum place by my apartment and I will never say no to dim sum.”
“Bummer,” Jay says, biting back a smile. “I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee before the afternoon rush.”
“Can we rain check?” you ask eagerly. “I’d love to get coffee with you again.”
“I would love that. Are you going to be back in the office this afternoon, though? I’ll keep my door open for you.”
“I’ll be back around three,” you tell him with a shy smile. “I’ll be sure to knock.”
Jay shakes his head. “You can walk in. I’ll make an exception for you.”
The atmosphere around the office has changed when you come back and sit with him to work. It’s like the distance and wrongdoings have been erased when it’s just the two of you sitting in front of one another, almost as if time has transported the both of you back to law school.
You find that you’re able to get work done much faster without the impending doom of awkwardness lingering around the two of you. Jay’s tendency to skirt around you created a strange atmosphere during the first few weeks of you working in his domain, but sitting with him now makes you feel like things are going to be okay.
For Jay, it feels the same. His guilt has subsided, not because he feels absolved, but because he feels like he’s working towards a better version of himself with you back in his life. Jay has always sworn to rectify his mistakes if he was given the chance to and the universe granting him one last chance by allowing you back in his life feels like a second chance. He doesn't want to mess it up and make you feel the way you did once upon a time.
It isn’t until the sun goes down and you yawn that he registers just how late the two of you have been working. Conversations flow easily and it feels like time has moved too fast.
“Let’s get noodles before going home? For old time’s sake,” Jay asks you.
“It’s like you read my mind.”
He knows of a place not too far from away, a small hole-in-the-wall joint that boasts an array of soups that immediately smell like comfort in a bowl. The waitress leaves the two of you alone after putting your meal in front of you, and you waste no time before digging in.
“Woah, slow down before you choke on the soup,” Jay teases.
“Cut me some slack,” you whine. “This is definitely not the first time you’ve watched me inhale my food.”
Jay laughs. “I remember when you couldn’t stop eating the shumai from across my apartment. You must’ve thrown up twice? I think?”
“That night single handedly made me watch how much I ate in one sitting.” You recoil at the memory. “But I still love shumai. Just not as much.”
“Or that time you went through a phase where you couldn’t stop drinking fruit-flavored punch and got so nauseous that you almost skipped the last exam before winter break.”
“I made it, though! I think I got a ninety-one on that test? But who cares. Law school was forever ago.”
Jay’s eyes soften.
“I really am sorry,” he begins. “I’ve been thinking about when the best time to talk to you is, but everyday there’s something new between the Hybe case and other things that need our attention. So, I’m sorry if right now it seems like it’s coming out of the blue.
“It’s selfish of me to say it when you’re eating, I know. I just want you to know how sorry I am for being a coward and for leaving you standing.” Jay’s eyes falter and he looks back at his bowl of soup before forcing himself to look you in the eye. “I couldn’t tell you what my younger self was thinking back then. Every single day I think about how awful and selfish I was to put my emotions above yours.”
“Jay–”
“I don’t know if this counts for much, I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’ve learned to be empathetic and that I can’t run away from things just because it was too much or because I was scared about how I felt about you.” He swallows harshly. “I really, really liked you back then.”
You bite your lip. “I really liked you too.”
“Working with you for the past few months has made me realize how much of a fucking idiot I was to walk away like that. I should’ve told Iseul to shove it down her throat and walk out with you instead of leaving you alone. I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”
In your years imagining what this moment would look like, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t in a small noodle stop sitting in an expensive dress. It wasn’t at the end of a long workday where your thoughts are all over the place. It certainly wasn’t with Jay sounding as honest and as sincere as he is now.
You prepared to leave in astonishment or throw a drink at him for his audacity. You envisioned yourself laughing in his face and walking away with your hair brushed behind your shoulders, only to peek over and see him fall to his knees in despair. You imagined Jay looking disheveled and helpless, catching his insincerity with a smug grin before telling him to leave you alone forever.
But the man in front of you looks like he’s waited a long time to apologize. He drops his eye contact with you in favor of moving his chopsticks around the bowl, moving the noodles as a way to fill the awkward silence from your lack of response. In truth, your heart is beating three times as fast as it normally does. It doesn’t help that your feelings for Jay never went away. It certainly doesn’t help that his apology feels like one crafted by a mature adult as opposed to throwaway words someone strings together to absolve themselves of guilt.
Jay’s guilty and he knows it. He’s willing to live with the consequences, but your silence is killing him.
Instead of speaking, you push your hand to reach for his and pry his fingers off of his chopsticks. Jay’s eyes snap to your hands touching his, afraid that if he moves, you’ll be gone quicker than he can register.
“You were never one for words,” you begin to say. Jay’s heart sinks to the bottom of his chest. “I remember you having the hardest time carrying a conversation because you were thinking too hard about what to say. I always thought I was the shy one, but getting to know you was a little hard when you said so little.
“I don’t know what changed, honestly. It was like you had a million and one different things you wanted to talk about. I learned that you trusted few people and I knew I was one of them the second you talked my ear off about how you probably would have pursued a career in music instead of law.”
Jay’s mouth quirks. “I remember that.”
“What I’m trying to say is, I know you’re being honest with me now. The fact that you said all of that in a noodle shop tells me more than you know.”
He chuckles. “It’s a little poetic, isn’t it?”
“Considering we spent maybe half of our time together eating ramen, I’d say so.”
He squeezes your hand. “The last thing I want you is for you to feel like I’m forcing you to say something you don’t want to, or even forgive me. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do something you aren’t ready to do.”
“One thing you should know about me is that I always do as I please.” You squeeze his hand back. “You’ll know how I feel, Jay. Right now, I feel very strongly about you.”
The two of you look at each other before the doorbell chimes. You two pull your hands apart as if you’re two teenagers caught holding hands. Jay laughs once he sees your mouth forming that same bashful smile he fell for all those years ago before clearing his throat and enjoying the rest of his dinner.
As for you, the warmth of the broth is almost as warm as your cheeks.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
Nothing is going according to plan.
The Hybe case has taken all of your effort and resources, as well as your mental sanity. As the date for the next settlement hearing, and likely the final one, draws nearer, you feel the walls closing within you with no way to stop it.
It’s taken a toll on you. You’re sure everyone in the office can see it. Sunoo creeps quietly into your office with a polite bow every time he delivers what you ask for, ceasing to make small conversation when he can see how little sleep you’ve gotten. Riki and Jungwon are the same, waving to you from outside of your office because you’ve spent a majority of your time there.
Jay’s noticed it as well. He remembers the moments when you’d hole yourself in your apartment due to exam stress and when things with your family affected you. Back then he would try everything in his power to get you to come out of the cave you created, whether it be staying in his car until you were ready to see him or dropping off meals for you.
It’s not so different now, except this is occurring in the workplace. He sees the dark circles under your eyes and the way your shoulders slump when you’re working at your desk. Jay sees the way you shake your head to fight to stay awake and how unfocused you’ve become during meetings.
Everyone in the office is losing their hope about winning this case. Hybe has drained all of the resources every attorney has put into fighting it. Heeseung feels the pressure from the clients, which in turn has everyone else worrying about if this was a case they were going to lose. The hope everybody exhibited from the beginning of the case until now has dimmed. Nobody knows what went wrong or why team morale has changed for the worse.
It’s late on a Friday night when Jay catches you still in your office. Your coat is still hanging behind your chair and he can see the tissues around your garbage can. His heart lurches when he puts two and two together, and races all over the office until he finds you walking out of the bathroom.
You look at him with bloodshot eyes and tears at the brim. Jay’s tie feels tight against his collar and his suit jacket suddenly feels too warm on his body. Your nimble fingers tremble beside you as you catch your breath, halfway between embarrassed for being caught crying and fighting the urge to jump into Jay’s arms. He hates seeing you cry and he hates knowing that there’s nothing he can do to make you feel better.
Jay makes the decision for you. He wastes no time and tugs you closer to his chest.
He doesn’t pay any mind to your tears soaking his dress shirt, opting to put one hand behind your head. He strokes your hair and wraps his other arm around you to hold you securely within him, using what little momentum he has to rock your bodies from side to side. It feels right to have you in his arms like this. Jay has fantasized about the day you’d let him touch you like this, so intimately woven together as if the two of you were always meant to be together.
Your face feels hot against his chest. Jay feels you rest your cheek on his shoulder and he fights the urge to press a kiss to your head. The office is eerily quiet, with everyone else having left hours earlier. Jay was stuck in a late night meeting before heading back to the office to pick up his belongings for the night. He’s glad he came back.
“Sorry,” you croak, voice sore from holding your tears at bay. Jay lifts his hand to wipe the tears off of your cheek with this thumb.
“Don’t be,” he tells you. “God knows how many times I’ve cried in this bathroom.”
You smile. “You’ve cried in the women’s restroom?”
Jay pinches your arm. “You know what I mean.”
The two of you stay like that for another minute and bask in the silence. Half of the lights have turned off due to lack of movement and it feels liminal to be holding one another without the judgment or prying eyes of others. Jay coaxes you to your office and gently holds your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he pulls you down on the couch. You don’t fight him, letting him pull your body down next to his until your feet are tucked underneath you with your head resting on his shoulder.
Jay doesn’t want to push his luck. He’s sure you can feel his heart beating from where you sit. But your head is within reach and experimentally places his cheek on top of you. When you won’t move away, he closes his eyes for a brief moment and thanks whoever is watching him for the opportunity to be this close to you again.
“Life is so hard,” you say, grabbing his hand and toying with the rings on his fingers. “I feel like nothing I’m doing is amounting to anything.”
“That’s not true,” Jay says to you. He fights the urge to smile when he sees you pick a ring off of his finger and place it on your own hand. “You’ve done a lot of good, you know that? You wouldn’t be here today if you didn’t.”
You return the ring back to Jay’s hand. “I know. This case is keeping me up at night. I get nightmares about Ahn’s stupid, smug grin after telling us we wasted our time trying to fight Hybe.”
“You and I both. Sometimes, our efforts feel futile when all we do is stare at paperwork and hold empty promises to our clients.”
You nod in agreement. “I just want to be at a place where I don’t feel like I’m fucking things up all the time. I spent so long trying to run away from everything but I got tired of doing that before I moved back to Korea. I want to rest.”
The two of you remain silent for a few peaceful moments. It doesn’t feel awkward and neither of you feel pressed to say anything. The comfort that you feel with Jay is something he’s been praying for. He’d reckon that the person he was when you first joined the office would almost doubt the fact that you're comfortable resting in his arms. To him, this is a sign that you’re starting to trust him again.
“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” He tries not to smile when you shake your head.
“Can you stay here with me?”
Eventually, he convinces you to go home after a tiring day. Jay calls a taxi for you and waits with you until it arrives. The smile you give him makes him feel like there’s nothing he can’t achieve, and it isn’t until you kiss his cheek that Jay feels as though he might melt into a puddle.
“Get home safe, okay?” you ask of him.
“Anything for you.”
He closes the door behind you and watches the taxi drive away until it’s out of sight. Jay pulls his phone out and begins to hover this thumb over a certain phone number he hasn’t called in a while, arguing back and forth with himself until he hastily presses the ‘call’ button and puts the phone to his ear.
One, two. Click.
“Hello?” comes the voice from the other line.
“Hey,” Jay says. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry to call you out of the blue. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I’m calling about Y/N.”
“Is she okay?”
“Relatively speaking.” Jay takes a deep breath before continuing. “We’re working on this case together. I’m sure she’s told you about it and I think it’s taking a toll on her. You know how she gets. She closes herself off because she doesn't want other people to worry about her or feel like a burden.”
“Sounds like classic Y/N if you ask me.”
Jay laughs. “I found her crying in the office tonight and we talked a little. I just sent her home in a cab. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but this is Y/N. Can you give her a call and make sure she’s alright?”
The voice on the other end is silent for a brief moment. Jay holds his breath and he swears he can feel his lungs constrict within him. If anything, he’s prepared to have his heart broken in two and for everything he knows to fall apart around him.
“Of course. We both know she would have kept to herself until it’s too late.”
“That we do.” Jay swallows harshly. “I also just wanted to say…I’m sorry. For everything. I wasn’t the greatest friend, haven’t been the greatest friend, but I want to do everything I can to make things right. I’ve already apologized to Y/N but apologizing to you feels right.”
He hears a small chuckle from the other side. “You’re a good person, Jay, even if you make bad decisions every once in a while. The fact that you’re calling me after everything you’ve done tells me how much you’ve changed.”
“I…thank you. I don’t know what I’m looking for. But apologizing feels right.”
“It’s a good start. Thanks for calling, man.”
“Take care.”
The line ends and Jay walks back into the office with a happy heart.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
A knock comes at your apartment door and your heart starts to spike. It’s nine in the evening and you’re sitting on your couch in pajamas with an empty bag of chips on the coffee table. Your ears perk up at the sound and you clutch your phone in your hands until you see a notification come though.
Dearest Brother (Korean cell): Open up!
You lift the blanket off of you with record speed with Miso tailing behind you and open the front door without a second thought.
“Namjoon,” you breathe.
“In the flesh,” he says with that same boyish smile he gives you when he sees you after coming home from overseas. “Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna let me freeze to death?”
“With that attitude, you can starve too,” you say, angling your body away from the door for him to walk in. Namjoon takes his shoes off and slips his feet into the slippers you always keep for him. Miso nips at his ankles until he bends down to pick her up, cradling your beloved in his arms. “What the hell are you doing in Seoul?”
“The boys and I got back earlier this morning,” Namjoon tells you. “Promotions are over and we get two weeks to rest before we start preparing for the next tour.”
“God, I can’t believe you guys are going on tour again,” you say, patting the spot next to you on the couch for Namjoon to sit on. “It feels like you guys just started working on the album.”
“Seokjin said the same thing,” says Namjoon, who puts his feet on the coffee table before you chide him with a playful slap to the bicep. “The guys and I decided we weren’t gonna see each other until tour rehearsals. God knows we’ve spent too much time together in the past few months.”
“How are they?” you ask him. “I’ve only seen updates on those fan accounts that update your every move, which is somewhat creepy but every wholesome at the same time.”
Namjoon laughs. “The guys are fine. Taehyung and Hobi spent most of the promotions shopping and came home with two duffel bags each. Yoongi’s probably gonna sleep for the next two weeks. Jungkook got ripped, and I mean ripped.”
“I saw that, Jesus. He sent me a progress photo and all I could think about was how small he used to be before you guys debuted.”
“Jimin’s just…Jimin. He says he misses you and that the two of you should get together before it gets busy.”
“I would love that.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I missed you guys a lot. More than I care to admit, probably.”
“See, I told you all our sibling rivalry would disappear when we got older.”
“Yah. Whatever you say. We’re still enemies at heart.” Miso purrs against Namjoon’s lap. “I think she likes you more than me.”
Namjoon smiles down at Miso. “Jay called me earlier tonight. He says you haven’t been feeling very well.”
“Jay is a tattletale.”
“Did he lie?”
You sigh. “No, he didn’t.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“So many things that I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the Hybe case, which has made me want to blow my brains out.”
Namjoon nods. “Ah, the Hybe case. It’s funny what a small label could do in ten years.”
“Seems as though your underground rapper dreams came true. Now you’re touring the world and forgetting to bring me back expensive gifts from abroad.” Namjoon chooses not to comment. “You know attorney Ahn, right? Well, he sent us dozens upon dozens of legal files for us to sort through before our next hearing. We’ve gone through eighty percent of them but it feels like we’re going nowhere. It feels useless”
“You’re doing more good than you know,” he tells you. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re giving a lot of hope to a lot of young musicians.”
You sigh. “I hope so. And then there’s the whole thing with Jay…I can’t remember what I last told you. I know I said that my feelings towards him have changed and that I’ve forgiven him, but spending as much time as I have has made me rethink a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Like whether or not it’s stupid of me to give him a second chance or if I should feel ashamed for liking him in the first place.” Namjoon watches you frown. “All those years and my feelings for him never went away.”
“Well, we can’t control how we feel.”
“He hurt me, Joon.”
“I know,” says Namjoon, “but that was years ago. In the months you’ve worked with him, has Jay given you any reason to doubt his sincerity?”
You think about it. “No, he hasn’t.”
“Has he apologized for what he did and is he being respectful of you?”
“Yes,” you say without hesitating.
“There’s your answer. You can’t let the past dictate people. I’m sure there are parts of you that have outgrown your younger self.”
“You know, I can hear the voices of people I met back in New York telling me not to give Jay the time of day and that I should block his number when we finish working this case.”
“Your New York friends knew the person that was angry at him, though. You stopped talking about Jay two years before you moved.”
“I know. I don’t know what’s stopping me from going for it.”
“Have you ever considered that you’re afraid things will turn out the same way it did all those years ago?”
You roll your eyes. “All the time, Joon.”
“Okay, fair point. Have you considered that you’re the one in control of how you react to things?” You purse your lips and Namjoon takes it as a sign to keep talking. “You can think of a million different ways this plays out. Maybe you guys break up after a week. Maybe you get old and live together until you’re ninety. But all of those scenarios are just what-ifs. You’ll never know until you make a decision and stick with it, otherwise your fears hold you back from reaching your true potential.”
“But what if it fails? I’m scared of becoming the person I was back then.”
“Well I, for one, know you’re much stronger than that. Working in corporate law makes you tougher, not weaker. But to speak on your concern, you’re the only person who can control how you react to things. If the timing isn’t right and you feel it coming, then you let go.”
His words sit with you as the soft sounds of the television plays in the back of your mind. For a few months, you’d been worried that you jumped the gun and forgiven Jay in ways the you of the past would never understand. The deep seeded fears of being rejected and left behind creep into the forefront of your mind every so often, leaving you a paralyzed mess.
But Namjoon’s right. You can only control your reaction to what cards you’re dealt with. Any wrongdoing by the hands of others isn’t your fault nor are they your responsibilities.
“As for the Hybe case,” Namjoon says as he brings you out of your thoughts, “I think I have a solution.”
“Oh yeah?”
He nods once. “The guys and I have been talking about this for a while. We’ve known about other musicians suing Hybe longer than you’ve known about this case and we didn’t know how we could help. On one hand, Hybe gave us everything we have now, you know? They gave us the opportunity to become musicians. I don’t know what got lost in translation, but it seems that fewer and fewer artists are able to experience what we did.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“We’re going to make a statement. With your approval, of course.” Namjoon tells you. “I was going to call Heeseung on Monday to set up a meeting with you and surprise you at the office, but tonight seemed like a better time to drop by.”
“Wait.” You use the remote to pause the TV. “You guys are going to speak at the hearing?”
“All seven of us,” he confirms. “It’s not fair that everyone else has to work twice as hard because of Hybe’s standards. We’ve been given this platform and it’s only fair that we use it to help other people.”
“God, I could cry right now.” Namjoon chuckles at the tears that have formed at the corner of your eyes and picks up a tissue before handing it to you. “You don’t know what this means to me, Joon.”
“I always told you I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but I thought that meant buying me gifts paying for my takeout,” you joke, swatting his arm, “not saving the biggest case of my career.”
“I’m really proud of you, Y/N. Not a lot of people are as resilient as you.” He smiles down at you. “Oh, and you should also know about Jay.”
“What about him?”
“He apologized to me too,” Namjoon says. “I know what people sound like when they want something from me or say things because they know it’s what I want to hear. But Jay didn’t sound like that. He didn’t have to say anything since he was calling about you, but that in itself lets me know how sorry he is.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to know. Besides, it’s a Friday night and you have the entire weekend before you see him. Let’s watch cartoons like old times, yeah?”
“Yeah, but you better not sleep in the middle of the second episode.”
Namjoon laughs. “You wound me.”
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
For the first time in a while, you don’t feel imminent doom as Monday approaches.
The sky is as sunny as you feel when you walk into the office. Sunoo and Jungwon seem rather pleased that you’re spending more time outside of your office and Heeseung makes several comments about how your mood has shifted from how it was last week.
“You’re telling me Namjoon stopped by and you didn’t tell me?” Heeseung chides. “I feel like chopped liver.”
“That’s because you are,” you tease. “The guys are resting for the next two weeks before tour preparations. Namjoon, Jimin, and I are going to get dinner one of these days if you’d like to join.”
“I’m taking you up on this invite, thank you very much. Did you know Joon was gonna be back in town?”
“I didn’t, actually.” A knock comes from behind you and the man of the hour appears. “Jay called him.”
“Am I in trouble?” Jay asks. You smile and shake your head.
“Just the opposite. Thanks for calling my brother. It meant a lot to me.”
“You looked like you needed him and I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he tells you sincerely.
“It’s great that you’re both here, actually.” You close the door behind your office. “Namjoon and I talked about a lot of things, one of them being the case. He told me how he and the guys have felt helpless in the past few months to see their labelmates suffer through corporate greed. He told me that they’re willing to testify and speak on our behalf against Hybe.”
“What?”
You nod. “I think they’re starting to understand how unfair the new recording contracts are and want to make a difference. I know Judge Han’s granddaughters are fans of Bangtan, so I think their presence could sway the decision.”
“You fight dirty,” Heeseung says, bumping his hip with yours. “I love it. Are they ready to go up against Ahn?”
You shake your head. “They’re gonna schedule a meeting with us sometime in the next week to prepare. It’s going to be a tight fit with their tour preparations and our hearing, but if all goes according to plan, Ahn should be willing to move the hearing date earlier.”
“This is fucking incredible,” Jay swears. “We owe you one.”
“You owe me nothing,” you tell him. “I love working with you two, honestly. Namjoon however…you might owe him a few.”
“I’ll pay for dinner under the company card and say it was a client business,” Heeseung says. “It’s a done deal. I’m gonna let the others know, if that’s okay?”
Heeseung leaves when you give in the greenlight, leaving you and Jay standing alone in your office.
“I meant what I said earlier,” Jay says. “I owe you one.”
“Seriously, Jay. You owe me nothing. It comes with the job.” He laughs and shakes his head.
“I’m bad at this.”
Jay bites his lip and reaches his hand out for yours, holding a loose grip in case you want to pull back. When you don’t, he takes the opportunity to push his fingers through yours.
“I’d love to take you out on a date,” he says. “As a thank you. But more so because I really like you and want to take you out like you deserve.”
You squeeze his hand. “If I said I wanted to stay indoors because this week will likely kick my ass, what would you do?”
Jay pretends to think. “In that case, I think I’ll cook us dinner while you watch with a glass of wine. If I recall correctly, that’s how most of our Friday nights looked like.”
You bite your lip. “You make a mean steak.”
“Whatever you want is what you'll get. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that this was your way of asking me to cook for you.”
You look at him in faux surprise. “Whatever do you mean, Park Jongseong?” Jay chuckles and takes a step closer towards you.
“Silly girl. I'll cook for us once this case is over, yeah? How does that sound?”
“Sounds like you’re after my own heart.”
Jay learns until you feel his lips land on your cheek.
“That I am.”
He leaves your office without another word and you fight the heat creeping up your neck as you bite your lip. When you turn around, you’re met with Jake and Jungwon’s prying eyes from the bullpen, and watch as they high-five each other whilst giving you an array of thumbs ups and silent applause.
You struggle to get back to work.
*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ
In an unsurprising turn of events, Ahn folds when Namjoon takes the stands. When all is said and done, you find yourself at an all too familiar position with Jay in the kitchen and you sitting behind the counter with a glass of wine in your hands.
He’s grown up, for one. Jay’s back muscles are more defined in his t-shirt as opposed to the dress shirts he wears everyday, giving you something else to look at as he cooks dinner for the both of you. The week wasn’t as bad as you anticipated it to be, but you’re sitting in his penthouse and patting yourself on the back for making the suggestion to stay indoors.
It’s oddly comforting to feel as relaxed as you are in his space, sans wine. The buzz hit you after he gave you a tour of his place and the Jay of the present is definitely not the Jay you used to know. His tastes are elevated and his collection of instruments has nearly tripled. The artwork adorning his walls speaks for his maturity, as does the furniture in his living room. It reminds you just how much the two of you have grown up since law school and how eager you are to explore sides of him you have yet to discover.
The steak is almost done cooking and Jay has spoon-fed you mashed potatoes until they’re to your liking, and you laugh when he celebrates your approval. The seasoned asparagus sits underneath warming lights while the rest of the meal is done cooking, and it wouldn’t feel right to have dinner with Jay without commenting about how much of a professional he looks from where you’re sitting.
You know it’s the wine in your system intensifying your emotions, but you can’t help but stare at Jay’s muscles as he moves throughout the kitchen. He works effortlessly and seamlessly, never neglecting any part of the meal he’s prepared for you. The level of care and precision he’s exemplifying through his cooking, while simultaneously entertaining you, has rendered you a blushing, giggling mess. You’re sure Jay can tell that you’re already buzzed after two glasses, but he promised to drive you home so you don’t have anything to worry about.
Jay looks criminally good in dark clothes. His laid back attire makes him look more attractive to you compared to the suit and tie he wears everyday. Something about seeing Jay like he used to be all those years ago stirs something within you. It makes you cross your legs in your seat and perch forward with your elbows on the counter below you as he puts the finishing touches to the meal.
You requested nothing fancy for tonight upon knowing Jay would drop everything for you to secure a date at the most expensive restaurant and pay the bill to back it up. That could be saved for another today. Tonight is less about wanting Jay to prove himself than wanting to feel comfortable around him, as this would be your first time hanging out with him in his space since law school.
When he’s finished cooking, Jay pulls the smaller dining table towards the tall window overlooking the city below and seats you in your chair opposite his. He tops you off with another glass of wine when you nod, pouring himself a glass as well.
Conversation flows like the two of you are out on a first date. You are, in a sense, but you’re also two long lost best friends who happen to have deep feelings for each other, finding yourselves once again. Perhaps it’s the alcohol that’s settled in your system with the headstart you had compared to Jay, or maybe it’s the soft look of adoration in Jay’s eyes when you laugh at his jokes, but tonight you feel as though you’re the only woman in his life who matters to him.
“I really missed you,” you tell him. Jay looks back at you from the kitchen as he clears the finished dinner plates. Too full to entertain dessert, he leaves it in the fridge until you’re ready to eat again. “I missed this too, you know? Coming over and doing nothing but talking to you, I mean.”
“I’m here if you’ll have me,” Jay says. You’ve followed him to the kitchen, albeit wobbling because of the wine. Jay reaches out and steadies you with his arms until you’re pushing yourself to hug his body with your arms around his middle.
“You’re so warm.” You turn your head to peck at his chest before letting your cheek rest against him. Jay closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your body too, his own lips finding the crown of your head.
“You’re even warmer, but I’ll bet it’s because you had half a bottle of wine.”
You playfully smack his arm. “Hey. You said you’d drive me home so I took that as a sign to get tipsy.”
Jay laughs. “I thought you might say something like that. Good thing I have a higher tolerance, isn’t it?”
You nod against him. “It’s the best.”
“Do you want to go home now?” Jay asks carefully when the two of you have stood in silence for a good minute or two. When you shake your head, he bites back a smile. “Do you want to watch a movie? You can pick something off of Netflix and we can watch it until you’re ready to go home.”
“Sounds like a perfect idea,” you say, sighing out of content.
Jay lets you change into one of his oversized shirts that covers you just enough and you walk out of the bathroom looking like sin. It takes everything in him not to comment because he doesn’t want to scare you away. Jay comes to the realization that you likely aren’t wearing shirts underneath because of how the fabric rode up your thigh as you sat on the couch beside him. He desperately tries not to pay any mind to it for the sake of your comfortability.
Truthfully, Jay wants to wrap you up in his arms and put the blanket he got from his closet over the both of you. But he’s letting you take the lead when it comes to physical contact, unsure of just how comfortable you are with him yet. He’s only just gotten you back in his life. He doesn’t want to scare you away any time soon.
The movie you picked is somewhat interesting, although Jay can’t say he’s too keen on paying attention. In the first ten minutes, you’ve shifted to rest your head on his shoulder and his arm is now resting behind you to accommodate your body. He feels you dip yourself lower as the movie progresses until you’re fully leaning on his chest, and Jay has a sneaking suspicion you’ve been slowly edging your way into this spot to not make him feel uncomfortable either.
He puts his free hand on your hip and squeezes your body to let you know he’s right with you. Jay watches you smile and try to hide it. He thinks it makes you look even more attractive than you already are.
Jay doesn’t know what happens next. Another thirty minutes pass by with easy conversation between the two of you. One thing leads to another and he feels you shifting in front of him, and his mind thinks you’re getting up to tell him you want to leave.
But you don’t. You shift to face him and push your body up until your face is right in front of his.
He can feel your breath on his lips. The scent of wine is long gone but your eyes look like they’re searching for something. Jay sees the way your throat constricts and he tries not to look down past where it isn’t appropriate.
“Is it bad that I want to kiss you?” you ask him just above a whisper.
Jay doesn’t say anything. He doesn't need to. Instead, he leans forward to push his lips against yours.
His lips touch your plush ones as his hands encircle your waist to hold you steady, like he’s afraid you’ll topple over on the couch. Your own hands immediately touch his chest and scrape the fabric like an experimental touch. Your lips feel so soft against his and the sounds of your lips smacking against one another become more audible than the soft volume of the television in the background.
Jay pulls back to see you suppress a grin, but he pinches your side to get you to smile for him.
“You’re a really good kisser,” you say. “Had any practice?”
“Just my pillow and a few posters,” he jokes. “I needed to practice so I could kiss you like you deserve.”
He watches you blush. “Don’t say that. I feel like I’m sixteen again.”
Jay pecks your lips and lingers for a few seconds. “Good. You make me feel like a teenager too.”
“Oh yeah?” you ask, shifting yourself until you’re perched on his lap. Jay watches from beneath you as you steady your body by placing both hands on his shoulders and swinging your leg across his lap.
“Yeah,” he whispers just before you lean down to kiss him again.
Jay feels your hands wrap around his neck to hold him in front of you like you’re afraid he’s going to push you away again. To quell your fears, his own hands take hold of your wrists before he holds your fingers in his own and gives you a gentle squeeze. You seem to loosen up as you smile into the kiss, prompting Jay to do the same.
Holding you feels familiar. It feels like coming home after a long, tiring day at the office to the person he loves the most. Having you in his arms after all this time has Jay rethinking his future and where you fit in it. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s ready to risk all that he has if that means seeing you as happy as you are in this very moment.
You whine when Jay’s lips detach from yours but he smirks into your skin when he hears a soft moan coming from your own upon placing his just below your ear. He thinks how his younger self would’ve killed to hear the sounds you’re making right now and how lucky he is that this opportunity is being granted towards him. You sound like you’re enjoying yourself and that’s all Jay could ever ask of you.
Your hand creeps below his shirt until your nails are raking his abdomen and you moan when you feel the ridges on his body. He sighs against your neck and you’re left speechless at how his physique has changed since the last time you saw Jay shirtless. The ache in your belly leaves you wanting more and you arch your body until it feels as though you’re completely giving into him before pressing your palms against his body.
You two kiss with fervor as the minutes go by. Suddenly, Jay feels your body beginning to rock yourself on his lap as your lips find his own. He feels you tug on his shirt until you push it up his neck, breaking contact with him so that he can pull his shirt off completely.
Your lips feel like heaven against his own skin as you begin to explore every inch of him. He feels you peppering kisses along his jawline and closes his eyes to bask in the feeling of your body so close to his. Jay lets his hands roam around your waist and when you don’t move to push his hands off as his fingers dip beneath the shirt you’re wearing, he smiles to himself and lets his fingertips push the fabric upwards just slightly. The feeling of his hands on your body has you rocking forward until your chest is in front of Jay’s face. You gasp when you realize how hard he’s become underneath you.
“I’m sorry,” Jay begins to apologize. “You’re very attractive.”
You look down and tilt your head, experimentally pressing your lower half on his crotch. Jay emits a low moan, making your mouth quirk in excitement.
“You’re very attractive,” you tell him, slowly rocking your body backwards and forwards.
You move to push Jay’s hands closer to your body and he gets the hint. He uses the momentum to push and pull you into him at the pace you set, watching as your mouth opens in euphoria. Jay finds it incredibly attractive the way your eyebrows pinch in arousal every time the tip of his clothed cock bumps your covered core, and if what you’re wearing is anything to go by, he was correct in assuming you weren’t wearing shorts underneath his shirt.
Your pace quickens with every pass of his cock beneath you. He gets harder and harder, and you get wetter and wetter. Your own slick is rubbing against you from the fabric of your panties and it becomes almost too much to bear. Jay’s hands have found their way to your back as your own body pushes against his. He feels your tits pressing against his chest and the desperation in your hips as you gain momentum while he begins to take control from beneath you.
Jay bucks into you until you let out a particularly loud gasp. His strength surprises you, as does the force with which he thrusts into you. His clothed cock hits you at the most delicious angle while you’re fighting to stand upright against his lap, fighting to grip the couch and his body at the same time. Jay doesn’t let you breathe, however, until you’re pushing him away so that you can access his lips once again.
The kiss is wet and messy. It’s hot in the room and you’re pushing Jay’s hands until they cup your breasts. He pinches your nipples and watches in pleasure as you throw your head back.
“My baby likes that, doesn't she?” He pinches them again when you nod and it sends a shock straight down your spine and where you need him the most.
Jay lifts the shirt just enough to uncover your chest and brings your right bud into his mouth. He licks it with his tongue in an effort to tease you until you’re squirming in his lap. He does the same with the other nipple until you’re pushing yourself against his cock that he grunts and nips at the bud before sucking it with his mouth.
The pleasure is almost too good to form words. Your mouth stays at a permanent ‘O’ with every swipe of Jay’s tongue and he pushes your shirt until you take it off for him. He places his hands on your breasts and squeezes them in his palms as if getting to know your body better, almost like he wants to commit you to his memory.
But you’re impatient. After the long years of daydreaming about Jay, you want nothing more than to have him inside of you.
“Please let me have it,” you whisper against his lips, pushing your body down onto his. “I need it so bad, Jay.”
“We can’t,” he chokes. He doesn’t want to push his luck. “I-I need to drive you home.”
Not even he believes this pathetic excuse.
“I don’t care. Drive me home tomorrow.”
Jay doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He flexes his fingers to distract himself before giving in, placing his grip on your waist and pushing you down onto him. He hears you gasp at the sudden movement and chides himself for being so turned on by you when mere moments ago he was thinking logically.
“Just the tip,” you mutter against his mouth to convince him. “Please.”
“Just the tip,” Jay agrees, pushing his trousers just enough to free his cock. To the best of your ability, you take your panties off without moving from his lap and throw it behind him. He finally feels your pussy glide over him and throws his head back, feeling pure euphoria.
Jay’s cock is thick and long, and you feel it throbbing between your legs. The friction is too delicious to ignore, as is the wet sounds consisting of your arousal covering him. He lifts his head up to watch you bite your lip and look at him with desperation in your eyes. It’s the kind of expression he’s wanted to see from you for so long. Jay can only hope you know that this is how he looks at you.
It’s quiet in the room, save for wanton breaths and the sound of your own arousal mixing with his precum. It’s so erotic to see you as desperate for him as he is for you because he’s yearned for this moment for so long. Jay bites his lip with every pass as you hover above his tip and he tries his hardest not to buck his hips, instead allowing you to move at your own pace.
When you catch the tip of his cock inside of your pussy, the two of you let out an audible gasp at the sudden intrusion. His thick head breaches your fluttering hole as he grabs your waist to prevent you from moving when his tip is fully sheathed inside of you.
“Holy fuck,” you moan, balancing yourself on his hot tip. “Feels so fucking good.”
“Yeah?” Jay asks. “It does, doesn’t it?” You nod rapidly and Jay kisses the side of your mouth before moving to your neck.
You keep yourself steady by gripping his shoulders that are hot to the touch. He flexes when your nails dig into him, causing you to moan at the sight. Jay feels the movement of your throat as he kisses your neck and grunts when he feels your pussy clench around him.
The two of you stay like that for a few minutes until your legs give out and you’re holding onto Jay’s neck as a silent plea for him to take over. He gets the hint, wrapping his arms around your body until you’ve fallen limp against his chest. Jay uses his leverage to slowly pull himself out of you before pushing the head of his cock back in.
The moan you emit against his ear makes him feel like the two of you are starring in your very own sextape. It causes Jay to jerk his hips unexpectedly and push another inch of himself into your pussy by accident. He’s about to apologize until he feels your pussy clenching around him at the sudden intrusion.
“You’re so big,” you whisper to him. “S-So big. So good.”
“You feel fucking amazing,” Jay praises. “Such a wet pussy and I’ve barely done anything to you.”
You whimper at his words while closing your eyes shut and move your head until your cheek rests comfortably on his shoulder. The angle allows you to press kisses to Jay’s jawline and you do so until you feel him begging to thrust into you once again.
The tempo he sets is slow and delicious. He feels every drag as your mixed arousal coats the rest of his cock and Jay feels as though he’s found pure euphoria on earth, the kind that men search for but never seem to find. The shallow thrusts cause his mouth to hang open and his fingers itching to touch your clit, but he doesn’t want to move unless you tell him to.
It isn’t until you’re pushing yourself down onto his length that he speaks again.
“Baby,” he warns. “I thought–”
“Changed my mind,” you tell him desperately. “Unless you don’t want to.”
Jay nods. “I want to. Fuck, I want to.”
You kiss him hard before pushing down on him. “I just want you.”
Jay’s body falls limp when he feels your body glide up and down his cock like you’ve trained your entire life for this very moment. He sees the sweat building between your brows and licks his lips at the way your tits bounce against your chest. It’s sensual the way you look on top of him. Jay brings one of your nipples in his mouth and makes a home there as your hips begin to work his own.
His body feels like it was made for you to use. The desperation at which his own hips chase yours should make him feel embarrassed, but he feels like a lovesick fool. In this moment, everything he’s ever wanted to say to you lies in the power of his thrusts and the way his lips move with yours. It makes him feel like there’s nothing in this world that could take you away from him.
He pushes himself up until you’re clinging onto his body for dear life. The sounds you make push him even harder against your body, drilling his hard cock within you until you’re moaning like somebody’s filming you. It’s all too much for Jay to handle, and he’s glad he feels you come undone before him.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” you moan out, clenching against his cock as it works your body until completion.
Jay pulls out and finishes on your ass just after you’ve come down from your own high. You jolt when you feel his come on your skin but move to kiss him as the two of you come down from your respective highs and he feels your heartbeat against his chest, smiling into the kiss.
“You’re amazing,” he tells you between kisses. He tries to speak but you silence him with more pecks. “Let me clean you up, yeah?”
Your heart feels warm. You nod and let him pry your body off of his, carefully laying on your stomach so that the couch doesn’t see the mess Jay created. He comes back a moment later with a warm washcloth and his trousers zipped up before wiping you clean. The rag is tossed onto the floor as he pulls your body towards him, wrapping your legs around his torso, and pulling your lips to his once more.
“Stay the night?” he asks you.
“That was my plan, but I’m glad you brought it up before I did.”
Jay pinches your thigh and hears you laugh. He could die like this.
“Since it’s a weekend, I think you and I have a lot of catching up to do.” Jay kisses down your neck and between the valley of your breasts, gliding his lips along your stomach until they’ve reached just below your belly button.
“Oh? And what is it you’re promising, Park Jongseong?”
Jay smirks up at you from where he’s positioned.
“I have an idea in mind,” he says coyly, moving his mouth to press a chast kiss on your slit. “It has a lot to do with my mouth and my fingers.” Your body arches when Jay’s tongue licks a bold stripe up your slit.
“I like the sound of that. Would you let me return the favor?”
• SYNOPSIS: A fleeting encounter with Park Jay at a high school party leaves a quiet imprint on your then broken heart. Years later, you find him again, now as an icy guitarist of the campus boy band, HYPHENIX. You never spoke again, but you remembered his eyes, his words, his presence and how he lingered at the back of your mind years after. You wanted to reach for him, but he was so far, popular, untouchable that you decided to pour your heart to him in secret, until the secret was revealed but someone else claimed it before you could.
Or in which you pour your heart into anonymous letters for the cold, distant guitarist, Jay, only to watch your best friend claim every word as her own.
• PAIRING: Park Jongseong (Jay) x afab!reader
• WORD COUNT: 21.4k (Part 1)
• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university settings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, strangers to lovers, slow burn, shy reader x popular Jay, down bad reader, betrayal, abandonment, miscommunications or lack of communications, profanities, name calling, stereotyping, best friend's boyfriend, reader is nosy and loves other people's business way too much (my twin fr), fear of rejection and unwanted attention, body image issues in the beginning, toxic relationships and friendships, low-key stalker reader, reader wears glasses, not proofread, lmk if I missed anything.
• SERIES MASTERLIST
• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic turned out to be more lengthy than I initially planned, so I am splitting it into 2 part. Lmk if you want to be tagged for part 2 when I post it. Your likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much for showering my write ups with your love. Happy reading♡♡
The music blaring through the speakers hit you first, deep bass vibrating through the pavement long before you reached the house. It meddled with your heartbeat, getting louder with decreasing distance from the party. You sighed leaning your head on the car's window, the house looked unfamiliar, windows glowing red, blue, green against the night. You didn't know whose house this was, just that your boyfriend said everyone would be there and to let yourself loose from time to time. You fixed the glasses on your nose, and adjusted your jacket, you turned your head to look at your boyfriend.
He looked in your direction briefly when he felt your gaze on him before sighing, "don't stress too much." You gulped, feeling anxious, "I don't really know anyone there Joon," you started, eyes brimming with worry, "you'll stay by my side right?" You heard him exhale a deep breath before throwing a wink at you, "yes babe, don't worry, you look really beautiful today, I'm stressed someone will steal you away from me." You pushed him a bit, blush creeping on your neck as you turned back towards the window.
Cars were lined up the driveway, recklessly parked. You wouldn't expect anything less from high schoolers anyway. You could hear the screams and laughter from the porch, it was loud and chaotic and it made your stomach churned. "Let's go," your eyes followed your boyfriend's actions, and you proceeded to take off your seatbelt. He stood beside the door tapping his foot impatiently, you shook your head and opened your side of the door. He locked the door behind you and started making his way towards the house. You hurriedly rushed behind him, and then slowed your steps down when you reached beside him.
The air was thick inside, tangled in a weird mix of cheap perfume, alcohol and something burning, maybe it was food or the fireworks you didn't know. Your hand latched onto your boyfriend's sleeve as soon as you entered. The environment was warm, crowded, strangers pressed against each other like puzzle pieces that don't belong together. The LED lights stung your eyes. You moved through the crowd tightly pressed against your boyfriend's side. Every corner of the room was alive with conversations you weren't a part of, some shouting over the music, some laughing at their friend's antics, some posing for pictures. The walls of the house felt suffocating though it was relatively big, the energy inside too much, reminding you that you don't belong here.
The music was pounding in your ears, too loud, too bothersome. You stood beside your boyfriend, who anxiously texted his friends asking where they are. Your eyes trailed towards the dance floor, bodies swayed with the rhythm of the music, some too close, some trying not to lose their balance. It happened too fast, one moment your boyfriend was beside you, another moment he rushed towards the other side of the room completely disregarding your presence. Your eyes followed him, your steps following suit. Someone shouted over the bass, out of frustration or joy you couldn't tell.
You grabbed your boyfriend's hand, your action making him stop to look at you. Just in time someone crashed into your shoulder, their clumsy actions making you stumble as a slosh of liquid hit the floor beneath you and onto your heel-cladded feet. The sticky scent of fruit punch or some weird concoction clung in the air, few people gathered around to look at the mess before laughing and stepping over it like it didn't matter. Your feet felt sticky and your boyfriend rolled his eyes at the sight, "how about you go to the bathroom and clean yourself? I'll wait for you here." You grimaced before nodding your head at your boyfriend and making your way towards the bathroom.
You washed your feet and heels with irritation seeping deep in your bones, this is the exact reason why you don't do parties, it's messy and loud and everything you tend to avoid. After drying your feet and heels with tissue, you took a brief look at yourself in the mirror. You combed your fingers through your loose hair to make them a tad bit presentable, fixing your glasses yet again you sighed and texted your boyfriend to meet near the dance floor. You made your way out of the bathroom and towards the dance floor, scanning the room for your boyfriend as you waited for him to text you back.
"Joon?" You tapped his shoulder when you found him leaning on the wall as he chatted with someone animatedly. He turned around, visible irritation laced on his face as he excused himself and made his way in the opposite direction, you followed suit, confused about his sudden discontent towards you. "Joon, where are you going? I asked you to wait for me, didn't I?" He stopped abruptly when he was sure he was away from the eyesight of his friends. You collided with his back, "I was just catching up with my friends! Can't you at least leave me alone for a few minutes?" You shuddered at his high-pitched tone, "you know I don't like partying yet I came since you promised that you'll stay by my side."
"Gosh you're so clingy-" his voice was cut off when someone called out his name, both of you turned around towards the person, "is this your girl Joon? Won't you introduce her to us?" You eyed the girl who smiled at you after giving your boyfriend a sharp side eye. He shrugged, ushering her to join others before he turned towards you. "Take your jacket and glasses off, try to look good for me in front of my friends, I've a reputation to uphold." Your eyes widened at his words rendering you speechless. It was the first time he had uttered those words to you, was he ashamed of introducing you to his friends just as you were? You thought he loved you for you.
All of your thoughts came to a halt when he turned you around and took off your jacket despite you protesting. You weren't comfortable with showing much skin. He knew that the spaghetti strap top you were wearing underneath made you feel more conscious about yourself and your surroundings. He threw the jacket somewhere on the couch, grabbing your hand and made his way towards his friends. "Joon, you know I'm not good with people, what are you doing?" He ignored your pleas as he stopped in front of his friends. You put your head down, hoping somehow they'll focus on your boyfriend and forget that you existed.
"Your girlfriend is really pretty, Joon." One of the girls from his circle chimed, her nails lightly scratching his arms, she didn't even spare you a glance as she went on about how pretty you are, and how funny you must be. Everyone else looked a bit uncomfortable at the exchange aside from your boyfriend and her. Someone cleared their throat to break the awkward tension and your boyfriend snapped from his trance and proceeded to introduce you. Awkward and sympathetic smiles greeted you in return, their eyes meeting with each other like they knew something you didn't. The same girl asked you to have a drink, laughing obnoxiously loud as you declined as if not abusing your liver was a mundane thought to have.
Joon grabbed the drink from the waiter and held your face with one hand as he forced you to drink whatever it was in that cup, you pushed him, startled by him constantly crossing your boundaries without a single care. The whole group gasped as he stumbled backward and fell on the ground. Few of his friends took out their cameras to record the scene. You wiped the remnants of the drink dropping down from your mouth, your eyes fixed on the way your boyfriend glared at you. The girl from earlier sat by his side, words of venom spilling off from her cherry lips as she helped your boyfriend get up. And with the way your boyfriend's hand rested low on her lips and the concern etched on her face, you knew what place you held in your boyfriend's life.
You shook your head as you made your way towards the back of the house, taking off your glasses momentarily to wipe the tears that managed to fall off your eyes. The backyard was nearly empty save it from a few people who were smoking joints in the corner. You made your way towards the small staircase which led towards the gazebo and sat there, contemplating on your reactions towards your boyfriend's actions. You turned to look if he followed you but got more disappointed as you saw him wrapping his arms around the girl instead. You couldn't figure out if the shiver that went down your spine and the goosebumps on your skin was because of your boyfriend's actions or because of the weather.
You let the tears flow, your glasses fogging up as you took deep breaths to control losing your shit right at a stranger's house. This isn't how you planned the start of your weekend to go, yet here you were, drowning in your misery as your mind went back to all the things your boyfriend did previously which you ignored. You were too busy believing in his potential that you forgot to look at how he is in the present. All the lies, the excuses, the missed dates, the secrecy everything played in front of your eyes like a tape record on loop. You blame yourself for letting him play with you for so long.
You stopped crying when a blurry image came into view, you took off your glasses, wiped it with the hem of your top and put it back to get a better view. You heard a sigh from beside you, as your vision adjusted, a handkerchief. You took it in your hand and wiped your tears, unable to look at the person who handed it to you. "Young love, huh? Must be painful..." your eyes fell on the stranger who sat beside you, a half-smile adorning his face, not unkind but more like he knew how you were feeling, "but hey, heartbreak makes a good story for later, right?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his comment, "you're saying it like you're some old man trapped in a hot boy body."
"You're saying I'm hot?" Your cheeks flared up with heat as you let the weight of your words sink in your head, your eyes widened in embarrassment as he just laughed. You took in his appearance, he was laughing with his head thrown back, carefree and unfiltered like he owned the world. His cheeks flushed, either from alcohol or laughing, you weren't sure. His smile was wide, the kind of smile which made people look at him twice even without meaning to. His hair's a little messy, pushed back like he ran his hands through it one to many times. His eyes shined with a tipsy charm as they locked with yours, the kind of eyes which makes you forget your own name even when he's sober.
"I saw what happened back there, thought you'd appreciate a company," his words brought your mind back to your current situation, frown appearing on your relaxed face once again. You sighed, hugged yourself, maybe you could use some company, "I really thought he loved me," you started, head hanging low as you felt shame consume you for being so stupid, "I let him break one too many of my boundaries." He sighed as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. His scent enveloped your senses, calming your frantic heart a little, "dump him, he's not worth it and you're better than this."
You looked at him briefly, "I don't know if I have that much confidence in me, I don't have anyone else other than him." His hand made its way to your chin, lifting it up slightly, you're met with his sharp gaze, "confidence isn't loud you know, sometimes confidence is just choosing yourself over others. And I believe you're closer to choosing yourself than you think." His determined eyes and lopsided smile made your heart skip a bit. He reluctantly removed his hand from your chin, coughing awkwardly as he looked away as if his words didn't really pierced through your heart. "You think so?" You questioned meekly as you fiddled with your fingers. He looked at the sky, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped, "You don't need to be confident to walk away. You just need to take one step. And yeah, maybe you feel like he is all you have right now but he is not all there is. Don't build your entire world around someone who can't hold it for you."
You let his words sink in your chest, your boyfriend was the only person you had, he made sure of that. Maybe deep down you knew you deserved better than him, and maybe you just needed someone else to remind you, "you're great with words, can I at least know the name of the person I am trauma bonding with?" He chuckled at your words, "Jay's fine." You nodded, telling him your name in return. You spent the rest of the night talking with him, your mind drifting far off from your boyfriend as you laughed at him while he explained how he got fed up with his friends who were shit-faced drunk and creating a scene. He told you how parties weren't really his cup of tea but he liked entertaining his friends who loved it. As the night went on you realized he was drunk as well and probably won't even remember this small exchange with you in the morning, yet you were glad you weren't drowning alone in your misery tonight.
"Ah, I need to go. My friends have been calling me non stop and my phone was on silent mode." He was on his feet and off towards the house before you could bring yourself to stop him to ask for his number. You booked a cab to get you back to your house when you realized he didn't take his jacket back with him. You just looked at him as his figure disappeared into the crowd and ran towards the direction he went but you lost him and you wondered if you'll ever be able to meet me again. You reached home, head pounding due to all the crying and a little bit of drink which your boyfriend forced you to drink.
You quickly messaged your boyfriend to call it quits and blocked his number from every possible app you could, not even waiting for his reply. You opened your instagram, your fingers moving before your mind did. You recognized a guy from your school, Sunoo, at the party. He's a social butterfly. Maybe his profile could help you with finding Jay. You opened his profile, sighing in relief as his page was public, you went to the tagged section to see if you could find Jay and there he was. You zoomed in to take a clear look, the picture was blurry but the jacket in the picture looked familiar to the one currently draped on your chair. You clicked on it to see if his username is tagged and thankfully it did. His profile was more low-key than low-key, just some pictures of his guitars, a group picture and a name, HYPHENIX.
The university's campus is louder and lively than it needs to be. The courtyard buzzing with laughter and talks of people huddling together to make memories. People walk in with their little groups, coffee in one hand, backpacks slung over their shoulders, carefree like they've already figured out how to survive here, like they know they belong here. You pass through them like wind brushing past one's hair, your head down, hands clasped around the straps of your backpack. The hallway isn't any better, students rushing to get to their respective classes, some frantic, some lazed out. There's echo of shoes, heels, sneakers, boots, which remind you that you are walking with them, just not beside. Voices overlap, laughter resonates, lockers being slammed shut and class door's daring you to knock and enter. Everyone seems to have somewhere to be, someone to text, someone waiting for them to join and you just wheeze past them, not invisible entirely just easy to miss.
You're halfway to your class when you hear someone call out your name, turn around and smile softly at your best friend, Ava, short for Avalyn, to catch up to you. "Where are you running off to?" You take off your headphones and place it inside the case, "my morning class Ava! You got free time?" She shook her head, her keratin smooth hair swaying slightly at her movement, "I'm trying for cheer squad remember? I'm going for a practice session to get through the audition." You nodded your head in understanding, she had been trying to have a spot in the cheer squad for a while now, she's good at it you think, but you guess popularity plays a key role in getting into the team.
She continued to walk by your side as she gushed about how she's getting better at cheering, you listened to her, that's what you usually do. You bid her goodbye and enter your class. The class went on as usual, nothing out of ordinary. You took notes of the things the professor said, then quietly packed your things to leave. You were placing the headphones in your ears when your eyes landed on a figure standing a few feet away from you, your steps halted and there he was, Jay. He was leaning against a pillar, nodding his head at the person talking with him, one hand raking through his already messy hair. His other hand was holding onto the strap of his guitar case.
You watched him from the entrance of your class, occasionally sliding your finger on your phone screen to appear busy as you stole glances at him. Your eyes blinked a few times, not really believing the sight in front of you. He barely spoke, just nodded along the conversation with a blank expression on. He hadn't changed much, except he was now taller, his features more sharp, and more mature than you last remember. The sight of him made your heart skip a beat, maybe it was because you saw him after so many years or maybe because he hadn't left your mind even once since you had a talk with him at that high school party.
He reminded you of the past version of yourself which you haven't really forgotten. A small crowd gathered around him, he sighed heavily. His eyes scanned around the area, you hid yourself behind the door of your class. You peeked from your place, your breath caught. He didn't notice you, of course he didn't. He excused himself as he started walking towards the opposite direction, the crowd following close behind him and that's when it hit you, how far both of your lives had drifted. There he was, in the spotlight, surrounded by people who admired him while you stood behind the class doors, in the shadows, wondering, watching.
"Where are you?" Ava's voice rang through your headphones as you ordered your coffee from a local coffee shop. You paid the cashier and thanked him as you made your way out of the shop, "at the coffee shop, I'm going out for a bit." You could imagine her pouting on the other side of the phone, her voice whiny, "why are you going out alone? I would have loved to accompany you, don't forget you have me by your side okay?" You pursed your lips as you nodded at her words then realizing she couldn't possibly see you, "I know Ava, but I can't always depend on you right?" She opened her mouth to protest, "you can depend on me, I'm your only friend." You frowned but didn't disagree with her, it was true that she was your only friend, she has been the only one who saw you and has been by your side since the university started and you're glad that she stood beside you and helped you.
"I'll make it up to you okay?" She squealed at your remark, hanging up the phone before informing you about her nail appointment, your eyes unconsciously fell on your own hands, maybe you could get a manicure too. High school was hard after your breakup, with no one by your side but you got through it alone. Now, as you were older and wiser than your high school self, you started to enjoy your own company too. You sipped your coffee as you walked down the street, your feet leading you nowhere in particular when your eyes landed on the familiar mop of hair down the street. You stopped in your tracks, closing your eyes, you shook your head, when you opened your eyes there was no one in sight. You sighed, you're starting to hallucinate about Jay now, it wasn't good for your heart.
You continued your way down the street, ears picking up angry voices across the alleyway. You looked at your surroundings, not many people walk around nowadays. You told yourself you were just stretching your legs, but truthfully curiosity took the best of your senses and guided you across the alleyway where the voices became more clearer as you walked closer. You stood in the corner, your eyes squinting behind your glasses to take a closer look. "I want you to focus on your academics too, Jay. We don't want your silly little hobby to come in the way of your career." Your brows furrowed when your heart a high pitch feminine voice and a name so familiar you could write in your sleep.
You crane your head to get a glimpse of the scene. There stood Jay, his head hung low as he avoided the eyes of two older people, presumably his mom and dad as they lectured him in front of their car. "Your music is taking up more of your time than your academics, don't forget you're going to be the hire of our business, the sooner you realize this the better it will be for you." Your heart sank as they went on and on about Jay's choices and how disappointed they are at him. Your eyes followed his parent's car as it left, then trailed towards the boy who now was crouched down on the road. He took a few rocks from the ground and threw them across the road, his face visibly contoured with hurt and anger.
You took a step forward before deciding against it. You were eavesdropping, which you were sure wasn't welcomed with the scenario that unfolded right in front of your eyes, but watching him slump against the concrete wall, head between his hands, you wanted to comfort him, just like how he did when you were at your lowest. You wanted to help him, encourage him to not give up on his love for music just to satisfy his parents but with the image he had built around himself in the campus, it was impossible for you to just randomly show up to him to console. He would kill you with his stare before you even opened your mouth, so you decided to stay in the shadows and help him with his issues. By being a secret admirer, the book girlie inside of you was dancing in excitement.
Early morning in the campus was just how you imagined it would be, it carried a quiet kind of hush which felt too sacred to disturb. The sun had began to rise not long ago, casting long golden rays across the campus building, few of the students were scattered around the campus, you walked through the hallway which was nearly empty save for some lone students with headphones on or a book in hand, your footsteps were light but quick as you occasionally turned around to check in your surrounding. Your hands tightly clutched around your bag as you overworked your brain to map out the locker room in the building. You relaxed when you found the large 'Locker room' sign hung upon the metal rod, your eyes scanning the area nearby before entering inside.
Few of the students were busy with their own things inside the room, none of them paying attention towards you. Your eyes scanned the area, feet moving towards the locker you were determined to find, you causally scanned the names on the lockers, totally nonchalant if anyone asked you. Your steps came to a halt when you came across the 'Park Jongseong' locker. Peeking your head at the entrance to check anyone's presence one last time, you hurriedly took out the letter you had neatly packed inside an envelope and slid it inside the locker from the small gap that was present. Your hands trembled, heartbeat erratic as you stepped away and started walking towards the cafeteria, your head hung low as you zipped your bag.
You saw Jay pass by you with one of his band members, Heeseung, the vocalist as both of them animatedly chatted about something. Your eyes followed his features, he seemed to be far more relaxed as he laughed at something Heeseung said, that laugh almost reminded you of the night of the party. You wondered what they were doing in the campus early in the morning when your eyes landed on the new notice on the notice board along with various other banners which decorated the walls of the hallway. You stepped closer to have a clearer view of the notice displayed, Symphoria 25, the widely known college fest of your university.
Your eyes went back to Jay and Heeseung who were now entering the locker room, their backs turned towards you. Symphoria, you'd heard a lot about the college fest, it draws in thousands of people not just from the campus but from the city and beyond. A perfect opportunity to showcase your talent and get exposure. Maybe Jay and his band had started early morning practice to perfect their art for the fest, it was inevitable that they would participate in the fest. You checked the time on your phone, you still had a good 20 minutes before your class started so you made your way back towards the locker room, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jay to see if he got your letter or not.
The hallway had started filling in with the usual chatter of students, as soon as you were about to enter the locker room you caught Jay coming out of the room and in a reckless way to avoid facing him you turned around to run in the opposite direction. But luck wasn't by your side and your leg slipped and you fell, right in front of Jay, and his friend Heeseung. "Are you okay?" You recognized Heeseung's voice as he extended his hand for you to take. A few of the students gathered to watch the commotion. Your head was hung low, and you prayed the universe to swallow you whole instead of letting you face humiliation. You held Heeseung's hand to stand up, then immediately let go and hid your face with both of your hands.
Heeseung chuckled at your antics, finding your embarrassed self quite endearing, he looked at Jay whose eyes were trained on you, a subtle frown adorning his face, lips pursed together. Jay tilted his head as he watched, you peeked from the gaps in between your fingers, head still down, your eyes caught the sight of your letter in between his fingers, the letter still sealed neatly. "Hey don't be embarrassed, things like this happen every time," you turned towards Heeseung, your hands still on your face as you nodded at his words and bolted out of the place and towards your class.
Heeseung's eyes followed you till you turned around the corner, confusion etched upon his face like a question scribbled in a language he wasn't proficient in. He turned towards Jay, who was also looking at the direction you just ran to, his expressions blank but with a hint of curiosity behind his eyes. "I guess she was too humiliated to wait and talk, I genuinely thought she did this to have our attention," Heeseung broke the silence, making Jay look towards him. Now one would paint Heeseung as a stuck up individual after what he said, but it wasn't a regular sight for any of their band members to not have girls lining up to have a conversation with them, you'd be the first to avoid them all together. He was genuinely confused with your actions.
Your footsteps echoed off the walls of the hallway in frantic rhythm. Your hair sticking on your face and bag bouncing off your side. You reached towards your classroom door, slowing down just enough to avoid getting slammed on it. You slipped inside and scanned the room for an empty seat. Your chest raised and fell as you sat on an empty seat, you took deep breaths to look composed but the flush of your cheeks and the way your hands gripped the edge of the desk betrayed you. The professor entered the class and began the lecture but your mind drifted off towards the incident that happened back in front of the locker room. You slammed your head on the desk lightly to avoid attention, grimacing about how humiliating the incident was.
"You look tired, did you not get enough sleep?" You glanced towards Ava, who was happily munching her food while her doe eyes stared at you, "Yeah, couldn't sleep." She pouted at your words, shoving your shoulder lightly, "you should take care of yourself more, you worry me so much, you don't have anyone else other than me who takes care of you." You smiled awkwardly at her statement, internally grimacing. Her words are always sweet like honey, the kind that drips with warmth and affection until you realize what comes next, like she's trying to convince you that your light only shines when she's with you.
Your eyes wandered towards the cafeteria door when students started talking in hushed whispered and gasp, there they stood Heeseung, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon, the four members of band, HYPHENIX. Ava followed your gaze, vast smile etching on her face, "aren't they just dreamy? You think Sunghoon's single?" Your head turned towards her instinctively as her voice reached your ears, "since when are you interested in them?" You don't remember her gushing about the band before, sure they were pretty popular but Ava was too obsessed with cheer to ever focus on anything else. She just shrugged, not bothering to reply, you frowned, following her line of vision where Jay was seated with his bandmates.
Your breath hitched when you spotted the familiar looking envelope in Jay's hand, the seal broken off, he had read the letter. Your eyes traced from his hands to his face, watching, observing, like you always do. Jake was talking about something while nudging Jay, Heeseung throwing his back as he laughed and Sunghoon just shook his head, amused by his friends. Jay smiled softly, his eyes still trained on the letter in his hands, playing with its edges gently. You haven't seen him smile like that ever since you saw him, his expressions always so distant and reserved, one would think twice before approaching him. You could tell you weren't the only person to witness it when you heard whispers around you.
"Wow I never knew he could smile like that!", "so the icy guitarist of HYPHENIX knows how to smile?", "is that a letter in his hand? A love letter maybe?", "didn't think of him as the romantic type."
You turned your head back towards your food when you felt Jay's gaze travel towards your table, you hid your face by keeping your palm over half of your face. "Oh my Jay's looking towards me," your eyes met Ava's as she exclaimed happily, gathering attention from a few of the students sitting nearby. More whispers started arising after her exclamation cause indeed Park Jay was looking towards your table, at who? You weren't sure. Your mind unconsciously drifted towards the time when you fell down in front of Heeseung and Jay, and you hoped he didn't remember how you looked.
"Yah Jay you keep on looking at the envelope like it will come alive and tell you who sent you this..." You were making your way towards the last class of the day when you heard Jay's name, looking up you saw the music room sign above the closed door. You walked towards the half opened window trying to listen to what they were talking about. From where you were perched up, you could see Jay's side profile, Jake standing in front of him, you could see half of Sunghoon's face and Heeseung's back, all huddled up with their respective instruments in their hands. "I really wanna know who wrote this, I mean their words hit so close, it instantly lifted his mood as soon as he read it," Heeseung followed as others nodded. Your heart skipped a beat, you stepped away from the window. They said he loved your letter, that it instantly lifted his mood. You smiled sheepishly, a new skip in your step as you made your way towards your class.
Maybe you could continue to support him like this, silently, from afar, without the fear of getting rejected. He would be aware that there's someone who silently has his back, and you wouldn't have to worry about being the center of attention. And that's what you did, you wrote letters for him, every week. Words you couldn't say out loud found a home on paper wrapped in a plain envelope. You poured your admiration, your care, and all the quiet things you felt into the letters. You slipped them into his locker, or tucked between library books you knew he'd borrow, each note was a small piece of your heart, anonymous but sincere. You watched him smile at the words, never knowing they were yours. He would sometimes write back to you, placing his letters inside the library book he last borrowed and when he would come and check the next time, he would smile at its disappearance. He would know you got his letter when you'd mention it in your next one. And somehow, that was enough.
And the campus was big but apparently not big enough to keep your little secret in between you and him. It wasn't the letters that caught everyone's attention, it was him. Jay had always been stoic, guarded, the kind of person who kept people at arm's length, never too close but lately that shifted. He smiled more, his posture relaxed, he didn't shoot anyone with his icy glare for merely talking with him. He lingered longer near his locker, reading something in his hands. His bandmates noticed the recurrence of the letters first then few of his admirers. Questions flooded in their minds, was the guitarist of HYPHENIX finally seeing someone? Who would be the lucky person to capture the heart of someone who never showed interest in dating? And If he was getting interested in someone then who's this mystery person?
And then one afternoon, someone overheard Jay talking with Sunghoon, his voice low as he murmured something along the lines of, "I received yet another letter today, they just know what to say to make my heart skip a bit." Hushed conversations between close friends, fell upon wrong ears and soon enough the campus buzzed with new gossip about this secret admirer of Jay. The talk wasn't about Jay anymore, they were more about what made Jay change, about the anonymous person who poured their heart out on the letters, about how the coldest guy on the campus might have someone who has enough warmth that melts his walls. And how maybe, just maybe, he was starting to care about those letters more.
With each letter you wrote, your feelings for him kept on getting more intense and with all the gossip surrounding you about your own letters you wondered how Jay would react if he ever found out who was behind those letters. It didn't help that Ava seemed to be getting more interested in Jay's love life than focusing on her cheerleading auditions. You had to constantly hear her gush about this mystery admirer of Jay and how an anonymous person was getting more recognition than she ever could even if she tried her best. "Popularity shouldn't be your goal, being good at what you do should be!" You remember explaining this to her when she kept on complaining about how privileged the popular people are with everything.
She wasn't wrong entirely, everything around the campus depended upon how good you were with something and ultimately how much audience you bought with it. Maybe she wasn't wrong about not getting into cheerleading yet because she wasn't famous enough to make the cut and not because she was just decent enough for the sport. Ava is attractive, has friends from every block of the campus, yet she somehow always sticks to you. She goes to parties, easily becomes the center of the room but somehow it's not enough, it's never enough. There's always someone who is prettier, more talented, more popular who steals her show and you get her. Perhaps that's the reason you let her guide and lead your university life instead of trying and failing to meet new people who would befriend you.
For the next few weeks when you walked down your campus, every corner was slowly transformed into a living stage. The air surrounding last-minute rehearsals, buzz of sound checks vibrating against your ear drums, every corner of the university was filled with excitement. Symphoria wasn't just a college fest, it was an emotion, a movement held towards rising artists and their talents. By day the fest was filled with different stalls, and artists showcasing their raw talents to sharpen it for the night show. By the time the night arrives, the main stage would come alive with performances that shake the ground. You were excited to attend the last show of the fest as it was the night HYPHENIX would perform, the most talked about and most awaited performance of the whole fest.
You made your way towards the locker room early in the morning to place the letter inside for Jay to read before his performance. This time though, you had bought a little bouquet of red roses to cheer him up a little with a note that is addressed to him in case someone else misplaced it. You couldn't open his locker enough to put the flowers inside so you decided to keep it above the locker. You walked out of the locker room before anyone could see you, leaving letters inside his locker had gotten a bit difficult with all the attention from the campus. Yet you woke up extra early to not get caught and cheer Jay up for his performance.
You made your way towards the library to finish the rest of your assignments, dropping a message to Ava about meeting you in the cafeteria during lunch. You sat down, opening your laptop to get started. The library was relatively empty, not many students were in the mood to study when there's literal fest going on around the campus. You wondered if Jay will even have time to open his locker today, you heard they had been practicing extra hard for this performance. Lunch time rolled around but Ava still didn't reply to your text, you tried calling but no answer so you ate alone. You made your way towards the locker room to check on the flowers and letters, when you reached there was none, it made you smile at the thought that he received it before his performance just how you wanted.
The evening started off with a blast, you made your way near the left side of the main stage. You look around to find Ava in the crowd and even send a few messages of your location in case she decides to find you. You frowned at her behavior, she was so excited to attend today's show, some of her favorite people were performing, not to forget her constantly ranting about being excited to watch HYPHENIX's performance. They were the last act to perform, everyone from the campus gathered around to watch you with banners in their hands. You crane your head to see if they are coming.
They walked on the stage, your eyes landed on Jay and suddenly the crowd didn't matter. They got in their position, the noise faded, the lights dimmed around everyone else but them and you stood frozen in your spot, eyes never leaving his silhouettes. Heeseung led up to the mic, the crowd erupted, waves of cheers and reckless energy filled up the air, but your eyes were locked on Jay. Jake, the drummer chimed in and suddenly the world was nothing but sound. Jay's guitar and Sunghoon's keyboard roared to life, drums thundered beneath your feet, and the music hit you like a memory you didn't know you'd been holding onto. It wasn't just some random noise pieced together, it was emotion, pouring from the stage and crashing into you like fire and rain.
You watched them, the way their fingers moved on their instruments, how Heeseung's voice danced a high note, how they closed their eyes like the song was something they felt, not just performed and in that moment, it felt personal like somehow, they were singing straight to you. The lights flashed on the stage, the chorus soared. People around you screamed and swayed, but you stood still, like you were spellbound. It was more than music. It was a moment you didn't want to end and in that moment, nothing existed but the stage, the sound, and the feeling of you falling deeper and deeper for Jay.
You felt a wave of emotion so overwhelming that tears strung in your eyes, their performance ended and they bid their goodbyes. The crowd cheered, you were sure they would be the talk of campus if not city for a whole year. Jay looked happy as he made his way backstage and before you could think your feet led you towards the back of the stage to catch a glimpse of him, it was one of the important parts of his musical career after all, you could at least muster up the courage to congratulate him. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be bad to introduce yourself into his life as someone he once met at a random high school party. You were about to enter backstage when a volunteer bumped into you, all the papers in his hands flying everywhere. You managed to apologize to him as you helped him with the papers but your eyes were somewhere else, in search of a person you couldn't get a hold of.
You made your way deeper into the back of the stage, volunteers and performers going on about their works. You located Jake and Sunghoon at the far corner of the stage, Heeseung sitting close beside as they wore brightest smiles and talked with each other about something. You tried finding Jay, your heart beating fast as you tried finding someone who would tell you about his whereabouts. "Uh-hello, do you know where Jay went? The guitarist from HYPHENIX?" The girl randomly pointed towards the exit of the backstage, you thanked her before following the direction she gave. As soon as you were out of the door, the coolness of the night air made you shiver.
Your footsteps slowed, the moonlight casted a soft glow on your face, yet it was still relatively dark. You took a step forward, then another, then you heard voices, familiar and close. Your steps halted when you caught two silhouettes standing close to each other, then your world stopped. One second they were talking, Jay and Ava, the next second his hands were on her neck, pulling her close. Ava stepped forward, her hands reaching for his shirt to stabilize herself. Your hands didn't drop your phone, but it slipped a little in your grip as your breath stilled. A sharp pain sliced in your chest, the silence of the surroundings more louder than the ringing in your ears.
It felt like someone pierced their hand in your heart and squeezed it without any care, like your soul has been ripped apart without any warning. You felt the kind of pain that didn't echo, it throbbed in your chest, deep and ugly. You blinked once, twice, then again for good measure, hoping and praying this was just an illusion, a misunderstanding but it wasn't. It was real. Jay and Ava, kissing each other like the world around them didn't exist anymore. You stood there, watching him hold her like he's afraid if she let go she'll disappear. Your eyes landed on the bouquet of red roses in Jay's hand, the one you brought for him, confusion and hurt etched upon your face, unable to comprehend anything.
Neither of them noticed your presence, they didn't see the way your hands trembled and how your lips parted slightly like your body was trying to breathe through the ache in your heart. They didn't see the way your eyes glossed over with a kind of hurt you knew would take years to heal. You took a step back, suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, the distant sound of people leaving the campus, the humid air, the floor beneath your shoes. You turned around, mind still hazy, eyes unfocused, you stepped on an empty water bottle. Then you hear a soft call of your name, you shut your eyes closed as if it would somehow help you disappear from the unwanted moment you tried to avoid. You heard footsteps coming closer and decided you couldn't possibly excuse your way out of this uncomfortable situation so you took a deep breath and turned back around.
Your eyes landed on Jay before they could even acknowledge Ava, he tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched you. Ava's voice broke your attention from him, she made her way towards you, her arms enveloping one of yours as she beamed at Jay. "This is my best friend Jay," He smiled in your direction, your heart skipped a bit and Ava continued while looking at you, "I told him the truth, that I wrote those letters for him, I couldn't help myself from confessing to him after today's performance, you are proud of me right? I finally got the love of my life." You never once broke your gaze away from Jay as you listened to Ava go on and on about something which you both know she didn't do. You silently listened to her take the credit for the things you did, Jay's smile was wide as he looked at Ava and just like that you couldn't bring yourself to tell the truth.
"Let me drive you both home, it's too late to go by yourself." You sucked in a breath, your head turned towards Ava who nodded enthusiastically at Jay's suggestion. "I'll manage to go by myself, I don't really live too far," Jay shook his head at your words, "It's my responsibility to take care of my girlfriend's loved ones, wouldn't dream of getting on your bad side." Ava chuckled at Jay's words as she leaned against his arms, his own hands slipping on her shoulder pulling her close. You felt like throwing up, you needed answers. Jay pulled out his phone to inform his band members that he'll be leaving first and joining them later.
Reluctantly you agreed with Jay after Ava forced you to say yes and now you were seated in the back of Jay's car as you watched him act lovey-dovey with his supposed secret admirer. Ava's home arrived first and Jay got off to kiss her goodbye, you sighed, lending your head on the window wondering how you were supposed to get through with this. Jay entered the car, you were still sitting on the backseat. He eyed you from the rearview, "I think I've seen you before." You looked at Jay when you heard his voice, contemplating on whether to tell him that he did see you before or not, "well, we go to the same campus...." You trailed off softly, not really minding if he could hear your answer or not, your mind was haywire with everything that happened today anyway.
Jay took one last look at you before shaking his head, chuckling lightly and agreeing with your words. You sent a quick text to Ava about wanting to have a talk with her about the stunt she pulled and she replied she'll tell you tomorrow. You felt the car come to a halt and you straightened up, eyes taking in the familiar surroundings of your apartment, you thanked Jay but he stopped you. He got out of the car and towards your door and opened it, "you don't have to do all this, Jay." But you smiled at his sweet gesture regardless and got out of his car. He bid you goodbye and went off as you watched his car retrieve from your apartment's parking lot.
You couldn't sleep the whole night, mind racing with all sorts of things. The sight of them kissing each other playing in front of your eyes like a mere flashback from a dream you wish you never had, cruelly brought to life. You tossed and turned in your bed, but neither the tears stopped nor did the hollow feeling creeping up your chest. You decided you can't take it anymore, your fingers tapping on Ava's number before you could think. It was late at night, her parents were probably asleep but they always had a soft spot for you. She picked up the phone on the last ring, her voice groggy.
"What are you trying to do? We both know you didn't write those letters..." you heard some shuffling from her end, "right I didn't, but who cares?" You frowned at her nonchalant answer, "the one who wrote the letter might come forward and expose you Ava, it won't end well for you, did you not hear how Jay is?" She groaned at your words, "well if the person was brave enough they wouldn't have pulled this secret admirer shit, I need Jay to get in the cheer team, this is my chance." You sighed, rubbing your forehead as it had started aching, "your relationship is based on lies Ava, it won't do you good, trust me. You're hurting someone else while trying to reach your goals-"
"Don't nag at me, I've already taken the leap so there's no going back, I like Jay and I want to be with him so let it go...just for once, for me, let it go please..." you sighed but stayed silent wondering if you were strong enough to watch Jay be with Ava when she clearly was using him just to gain popularity while pretending to be you, Ava continued when she didn't hear anything from your side, "I'm your best friend, I never asked you to do anything for me, please ignore what I did just this once, I'll treat him right I swear." You cut the call after talking to her for some more time, things got messier than they were supposed to be, and you wondered how things will unfold from now on.
Earlier attending university was something you looked forward to as the constant chattering of students, the latest gossip, the various events and classes helped you ignore how lonely you actually were. But now everywhere you go, there is at least one person talking about the perfect couple Ava and Jay. You tried your best to ignore but you couldn't as Ava started gaining popularity now that Jay won't leave her side whenever he isn't with his bandmates. And you, despite wanting to lay low and finish your degree quietly, were unwillingly dragged into the Ava-Jay love drama since you were her so-called best friend.
Being best friend of not so famous Ava was hard, but being her best friend after she got famous was harder. People randomly started approaching you to gain latest information about their relationship or how they behave out of the campus. They bombarded you with questions about Ava and what she liked and disliked, like you were some kind of assistant they could get information from. It was annoying, and downright disrespectful. You never wanted the spotlight but even if you did, you knew you wouldn't be happy by being labelled as someone's girlfriend's best friend. It was inconvenient at first, then it became blatantly dehumanizing when people started suggesting Ava to be with someone of her 'level' that you were just some charity case of a friend for her. What hurt you the most was Ava's reactions to those things, she just laughed with them, like she couldn't see how disrespectful people were towards you. So naturally you tried your best to ignore her and her 'well-wishers' all together.
"Come on, don't be like that! Jay has told me to make sure you'll be present at the celebration party of their successful performance at the college fest, you know how big of a deal it is for him and his friends," you continued typing your essay as Ava sat on the edge of your bed, begging you to attend the party. "I'll see if I can go...I'm not sure though..." she stomped her feet as she made her way towards your desk, hands sliding into yours to get your attention on her, "please? We haven't spent time together since so long," you sighed, releasing her hold from your hand, "it's because you're always so busy with your cheer, or Jay, or your new friends and not because I don't have time for you."
"It's not like that, you don't like being around people, I can't always cater to your needs right? You should be considerate towards me too, you're so mean," you close your laptop after saving your document and look at her as she begins gathering her things. "I didn't mean it like that Ava-" "I'll give you space, you don't seem to be in a good mood, think about your decision, I'll wait for you at the party and if you won't come I won't go either." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already out of the door. You put your head in your hands as you pulled at your hair, deciding sleeping would be best for now since you had class in early morning.
Attending early morning class felt like stepping into a world half-asleep. Your brain lagged behind as the professor went on and on about topics you were too tired to pay attention to. One of your hands grip on the coffee cup like your life depends on it and other drawing doodles on the margins of the notebook you had opened to take notes. Your eyes hurt and stifle a yawn, thanking the universe when the professor concludes the class. You check your schedule, there's still a 30 minute gap before your next, maybe you could get a refill of your coffee to go on about your day. You smiled to yourself when you stepped out of the class, feeling accomplished that you managed to survive the morning class as you made your way towards the cafe near your university for your daily dose of coffee.
"Hey!" You turned around halfway through the campus when you heard someone call out to you, "in a rush?" Jay waved at you as he made his way towards you, his guitar slung over one shoulder, his smile was easy-going as he finally stopped right in front of you. Sweat formed in your hands as you gulped, "you need something from me? I haven't heard from Ava since yesterday so I don't know where she is..." He laughed slightly, motioning you to continue your walk as he stepped beside you, "no, I'm not here to ask you about Ava, though I know I used to do that a lot but I'm here to talk with you about something else." You looked at him then immediately looked forward because how can you be this close to him and act sane? You adjusted your glasses on your face in nervousness.
"Then what are you here for?" He looked at you, biting his lips in thought and you tore your eyes away to not stare for too long. "For the party...." you halted your steps when you reached the cafe, Jay opened the door and held it for you. You meekly thanked him before entering the cafe, "what about it?" Jay ordered his coffee and you ordered yours, he paid for both the drinks before you could even open your bag to get your purse. "After our performance at Symphoria, we've got quite a few gigs and events to perform at, not to forget it's the day Ava finally confessed to me about writing those letters," you suck in your breath as both of you made your way out of the cafe and back into the university's campus.
He continued, "those letters have helped me a lot, I was going through a tough time but they helped me so much, and they also inspired us to deliver that performance at the fest. So the success of that performance means a lot to my bandmates, me and Ava alike, and since you're her best friend, I need you to be a part of it." He took a few strides forward and turned towards you making you stop your walk, "please? Attend it for me?" You sighed, attend it for Jay? Now you could do that, but you weren't sure if you'd be able to watch them without losing your sanity. "I'm not a party person, Jay and it doesn't help that Ava has other friends to be with, she won't always be by my side and I don't want to hold her back.."
He shook his head dismissing your words before you could elaborate further on how pathetic you'd look trying to enjoy the party alone, a party you don't even want to be at, "I'll be by your side then, all throughout the party hm? I'll make sure you won't feel lonely, I promise." He held out his pinky finger in front of you and if you were being honest he looked so silly you wished you could click a picture but you just sighed, eyes switching from his hands to his face, he looked at you expectantly, "I take pinky promises seriously," the corners of your lips twitched a little as you raised your hand to lock your pinky finger with his. He pulled you close, grinning widely, "thank you for coming, Ava and I would love to have you there," he ruffled your hair before jogging off towards the university's music room.
You faced the mirror, one last time, running your fingers through your hair, you opened your phone, Jay's and Ava's messages lying one above the other, both reminding you to not forget about the party. You fixed your glasses, a hint of irritation seeping in your features as you scanned your reflection, if you ditched your glasses for looks then you won't be able to enjoy the party in HD, but the glasses made you look like the loser you always need to read about in your books. You huffed a breath, reminding yourself about your no more stereotyping rule, your phone started buzzing. You looked at the caller ID, Ava.
"Hey!" You put your phone away from your ear to recheck the called ID, still Ava, "hello?" You questioned as you chew on your lips, "it's me Jay...Ava's phone was in my hand so I called you from her phone, I asked Sunghoon to pick you up from your apartment and I think he would reach in 10 minutes or so, I just called to inform you that.." you heartbeat quickened after hearing Jay's voice, then you registered the words that left his mouth, "Sunghoon? In 10 minutes? I could've taken a cab, he didn't have to leave the party for me, I feel bad." You could hear the music blasting in the background and you wondered if he could even hear you, "nah, I wanted to come pick you up myself since I invited you but my hands are full right now so I asked Sunghoon, and I don't want you to travel alone in the dark, it's not safe out there. See you soon, Ava and I are waiting for you."
You stood in front of your apartment building awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers as you waited for Sunghoon's car to pull up. He didn't take much time, arriving fairly on time. He got out of his seat, his height making you take a few steps back so you don't have to hurt your neck while talking to him. He gave you a smile, his eyes landing on your heel-cladded feet before they locked once again with your eyes. You subconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear, blushing up your cheeks under his intense gaze. He offered you his hand, and you held it after looking at it for two seconds too long. He led you towards the passenger's seat, opened the door and guided you inside the car. You thanked him, a giddy smile plastered on your face as you reminded yourself that this was the supposed bare minimum, but then your thoughts went back to the same high school party where your then boyfriend didn't even look at you, much less open doors for you.
Sunghoon's car reflected his personality, sleek, dark, and polished to perfection. The smell of leather seats of the car mixed with a faint scent of his cologne, and music turned low enough to barely register. You fasten your seatbelt and watch him start the car from your peripheral vision. He didn't say much, and from the time you've noticed him you realized he wasn't a man for many words but whenever he did speak, the attention would be on him. You let yourself relax on the seat and he glanced at your movements briefly. "Thank you for picking me up, you didn't have to, but thank you regardless," You saw him shake his head at your words, a small, barely visible smile dancing on his lips, "it's fine, wouldn't want a pretty girl like you to travel alone at night." You choked on the air, shocked at his words, he laughed loudly, his fang-like teeth showing just enough to make you question if he was just teasing or being serious.
"You're teasing me, didn't think of you as a type to do that," He looked at your pouty face briefly before his attention went back onto the road, "you're easier to tease somehow, but I wasn't teasing when I said you're pretty." He didn't look at you to see your reaction, but your eyes were trained on his profile. His skin was pale, smooth like porcelain under the car's light, his lips full and precise, there was a cold grace to him, and even when he said nothing, he seemed to speak in presence, posture poised, expression unreadable, a flick of his gaze enough to silence a room. He got out of the car when he reached Jay's apartment where the party was in full blast, he helped you get out of the car and led you towards the main door of Jay's house.
"This place feels familiar," you mutter under your breath, Sunghoon looks at you, his head tilted in your direction, leaning in slightly to hear you better over the gradually increasing noise of music blasting through the speakers as you walk. You shake your head at him, laughing awkwardly as you try to figure out the weird feeling in your stomach. The door bursts open even before Sunghoon's hand stretches enough to open it for you, and your breath is knocked off as Jay stands in front of you, an easy going smile etched upon his face. "I'm glad you're here..." he smiles so bright that it's almost impossible to not mirror his smile, like he's genuinely glad you're there to celebrate. "I had to be," your eyes wander off towards Sunghoon who is now standing beside Jay, leaning on the doorframe watching you two, "you left me with little choices to make."
Sunghoon lightly chuckled as those words left your mouth, shaking his lightly at your silent jab at Jay's stubborn behavior he made his way inside the house, leaving you standing alone with Jay. "Where's Ava?" You questioned when you didn't find her waiting for you beside Jay, he sighed, head turning back to look towards the ongoing party, "she must be somewhere, I still have her phone on me, but she's nowhere to be found." You frowned hearing his statement and he quickly made space for you to enter the party, "she gets like that after drinking, she wanders off and suddenly you lose track of her." Jay chuckled at your response still his eyes scanned to room for his girlfriend's presence.
"Jay?" You softly called him, he hummed in return leaning slightly towards you to hear you better. You held your breath as you looked at him, his eyes still wandering across the room to find Ava but then slowly his eyes turned towards you, your lips twitched when his eyes locked in with yours and you gulped before continuing, "go find her, you don't really have to be by my side all night." Jay chuckled at your words, straightening up, he hooked his index finger on the bracelet of your wrist, "well you don't have anything else to do so please help me find my beloved girlfriend," and he pulled you with him into the crowd.
You take in the scene, you spot some familiar faces in the crowd, laughing, drinking, talking with each other. Your heels tap against the floor and you walk exactly behind Jay as he makes room for both of you to walk. The lights flicker in bursts of neon, casting an exciting glow on the crowd. The buzz of conversations rise and fall, people too drunk or too indulgent in the mood to care about the surroundings. You catch a glimpse of Jake talking with some people, beside him Sunghoon and Heeseung are involved in deep conversation about something only they know. Your eyes fall upon where Jay's finger is hooked upon your bracelet, a sigh leaves your lips and in a moment of distraction your shoulder bumps into someone and you lose your balance slightly.
You hold onto Jay's shoulder with one hand to regain your balance and he stops in his tracks, eyes narrowing towards the person you stumbled into, "try to look where you are going next time." The person just waves his hand, mumbling apologies incoherently as he backs off towards the opposite direction. You feel Jay's hand curl around your wrist, firmly and when you lift your head up, he's already looking at you. "You walk in front of me now, you're wearing heels, if you sprain your leg it will hurt like a bitch." You laugh slightly at his tone, his hand pulling you gently towards him and he positions himself right behind you. He's still holding your wrist, his other hand giving your shoulder a slight push to get you walking.
He's so close behind, you could faintly feel his breath on your shoulder. Your eyes scan for your best friend and you turn around towards Jay when you spot her sitting in a corner with few people, drinking happily and laughing with her whole body, "she's there, I think you should get her, I'll get something to drink for myself in the kitchen." Jay's eyes follow the path your finger is pointed at, he sighed in relief, nodding in your direction and making his way towards her. You don't have the courage to watch him go towards her so you make your way inside the kitchen, your hand tracing the spot which Jay held not too long ago. You poured yourself some soft drink, not really in the mood to drink just yet.
"Are you a baby?" You flinched slightly, turning to your side only to find Sunghoon leaning against the counter not too far from you as he poured himself a drink. Your eyebrows furrowed at his words, he looks at you, slowly making his way close to you, "only babies drink soft drinks." You roll your eyes, free hand fixing your glasses. He chuckled lightly, amused at your behavior. "I'm not a baby Mr. Park," he laughed loudly, "that's exactly what a baby would say, your pouty lips and puffed up cheeks aren't helping your case pretty." You immediately straightened up, lips pursed and face blank as you gave him a deadpan look, "I'm not a baby..." He turned around towards the counter, he mixed a few drinks from the table and slided the red solo up towards you.
"You don't seem like a type to drink frequently but trust me with this one, my friends say I'm quite good with drinks." You throw him a suspicious look, hand curling around the cup, you bring it closer to your face to inspect. "What are you both ?" Your head snapped towards the voice, Jay and Ava joining you two as Sunghoon settled beside you, his drink already half empty. "I'm trying to get her to loosen up a bit, she's always so tense." Jay's eyes narrow at his friend's words, "you don't have to drink if you don't want to," You shake your head at Jay's words and you're about to reply when Ava cuts you off, "oh my god! I've tried to get her to start drinking but she always declines me," then her eyes fall upon Sunghoon, a faint smirk forming on her lips.
"I literally made this in front of her, will you try it for me pretty? Just a taste, you won't have to continue to drink it if you don't like it." Ava's smile fell as soon as Sunghoon's attention shifted from her to you, his eyes soft as he looked at you expectantly. Jay sighed from where he was standing, his hand sliding across Ava's waist as he leaned his weight slightly on her, "Sunghoon, if she's not comfortable-" Sunghoon's hand reached forward towards your hand, which was sporting the red solo cup, he gently curled his fingers around your hand and brought the cup towards his mouth, never breaking eye contact with you as he took a sip from your cup, "there, I'm alive, now your turn, just a sip pretty."
You exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding, fingers trembling slightly under Sunghoon's. You brought the cup near you, eyes darting around the other three before you took a tentative sip from the drink. Your eyes widened, a smirk forming on Sunghoon's face, "it'd good right?" You nodded your head with more enthusiasm than you initially wanted to show. Sunghoon laughed, releasing his hold from your hand, eyes falling upon the couple in front of him with smug confidence, "I told ya I'm good at it." Jay gave you a small smile, "you sure you like it?" You nodded your head again, taking yet another sip from the cup and gulping down the whole drink. Sunghoon whistled slowly, feeling proud of himself.
Ava looked at you, "you never drink when I offer...you're so rude and mean to me." Jay sighed pulling her closer, "some people need guidance during their first drinks baby, Sunghoon is good at that. It's not about her being mean to you." From where you stood, you could tell Ava wanted this conversation to go like it did with other people, with them agreeing to every word that spilled from her cherry lips, "want me to make you another one?" You tore your eyes away from Ava and turned towards Sunghoon, "please? This is the first time I'm actually enjoying a drink." And just like that, the night stretched ahead, you smiled to yourself, anticipation settling deep inside you for the night.
"You're tipsy, how many drinks did you have?" You were perched upon the balcony, looking over people who were playing in the pool and around it when Ava's voice cut through the silence. You hummed, standing up and leaning against the railings to have a good look at Jay's house. Your eyes trailed towards the other side of his backyard where people were roaming around, casually. "Is that a gazebo?" You muttered to yourself, leaning in more, squinting your eyes, your glasses slipping off a little. "You're going to fall down if you keep on leaning on the railings like that," you looked down towards the ground, Jay waving off his hand to signal you to back off a little.
"I won't fall," you yelled back, laughing as you fixed your glasses back. Jay shook his head, one hand on his hips while the other massaged his temple, "come down, bring Ava with you." You pouted at his words but still stepped back, holding Ava's hand in yours, you dragged her towards the pool. "Hello ladies, wanna go for a swim?" You smiled at Jake when he approached you both, you released Ava's hand when Jay stood by her side. "Don't wanna," Ava whined as Jay tried to persuade her to join. You looked away, smiling at Jake as you swayed a little, he chuckled at your dazed out state and offered his hand for you to hold. "I'm good though, I don't need your support, but since you're being so nice and offering me your help, I'll take it." Jake laughed as he guided you towards the edge of the pool.
Heeseung joined you and Jake, offering you water, "you wanna go for a swim?" You denied Heeseung's suggestion, eyes looking at the pool as you pouted, "I can't swim." Jake mimicked your expressions, but he looked like a kicked puppy more than a sulky one. You laughed, stepping forward and pinching his cheeks, "you're cute Jake." His eyes widened at your actions before turning into an icy glare when Heeseung slumped forward trying to control his laughter. Jay, Ava and Sunghoon joined you three as the boys teased Jake and occasionally your non swimmer self. You felt at ease, you were expecting to be crying in your apartment by now but you were glad it wasn't like that. None of Jay's friends left you alone, each sharing some moments with you. And by spending your time with them you realized why they are so likeable.
You were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, Ava still beside you. The boys were already playing in the pool, your eyes drifted towards Sunghoon and Heeseung who were now seated on the opposite edge of the pool making fun of Jake who was now being chased by Jay for trying to drown him. Sunghoon's eyes locked with yours and his lips moved to say something, in your own haze you couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say so you got up, edging closer towards the pool, "what did you say?" Sunghoon laughed at your confused self and you pouted. He opened his mouth to repeat what he said when you felt a pair of hands press hard against your back.
Your heart stuttered, feet losing contact with the ground. Your confusion quickly turned into terror and the next thing you knew, your body hit the water. The water was colder than you expected, it swallowed you whole. The noises of the surrounding vanished, replied by a deafening silence. Your hands flailed, legs kicking in panic. Your lungs felt like they were going to collapse, your mouth filled with the taste of chlorine and fear. A pair of arms circled around your waist, pulling your body towards the surface. You gasped as you were finally able to breathe, your chest aching. Someone took off your glasses from your face, your hands grabbing onto the person's shoulder like you were afraid they would let go.
You felt someone else chiming in to help, pushing you on the edge as few people surrounded you. Your vision slightly blurry as you tried to ground yourself, "Ava are you crazy? Why would you push your own best friend into the pool when you clearly know she can't swim?" You were sure that it was Sunghoon who yelled at Ava for her reckless behavior, your head turned towards your left to see Jay by your side, one of his hands was cradling your head while the other removed hair from your face. You turner your head towards the right where Sunghoon was still going off on Ava, her shoulders slumped as she tried to reason out, "I thought it would be fun-"
"Fun?" Ava's eyes turned towards you, her eyes widening at Jay's sharp tone. He helped you sit up straight, Jake crouching beside you to wrap you in a towel. You shivered, because of the water or Jay's expression, you didn't know. Jay helped you get up and sit down on the chair, your legs trembling slightly. His hand slipped around your waist. "Is this your idea of fun, Ava? She could've gotten into serious trouble if I wasn't swimming near her." You looked at her, wishing to find remorse in her eyes but all you saw was humiliation and anger as she glared at you. She turned around, making her way back into the house.
"I'm so sorry about that, you aren't hurt right?" You shook your head, lips trembling slightly, "I'm fine, just a little shock that's it." Jay nodded at your words, sighing as he took in his surroundings. "You guys go enjoy the party inside, I'll take care of this." He motioned Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon to lead the crowd back inside. "Take care of yourself, yeah?" Sunghoon requested before going back inside with everyone else. "You aren't responsible for her actions, plus she didn't mean to do it in the wrong way, she's always been like that..." Jay's eyes snapped towards you in lightning speed, "that still doesn't mean what she did was right, you could've gotten seriously hurt."
You shivered again when the wind passed by you, your head was starting to spin. "I'll bring you some dried clothes, you'll catch fever otherwise," You nodded at his words, your chest and throat aching. Jay lifted your face with his hand on your chin, your breath hitched at the proximity. He slipped on your glasses, adjusting it on your face for you. "Thank you," you mumbled, not daring to say it louder, "I can see you clearly now." Jay laughed, losing his balance on the chair, you extended your hand and he happily grabbed it to balance himself. "I'm glad you can see me now." You laughed with him, amused by everything that unfolded in today's party.
You were perched on the bench beneath the tree on the university's campus. Scrolling through your phone in search of something to distract you while you wait for your next class to start. You looked up at the tree above you, its green leaves falling upon you inconveniently. You packed your belongings back in your bag, pocketed your phone and remembered you had to borrow some books from the library for research purposes. "You seem to be so at peace after wreaking havoc in my life," you turned towards the source of voice, frowning at the way Ava walked towards you, eyes scrutinizing your presence. "What are you saying?"
"The pool wasn't even that deep, Jay and his friends were swimming in it just fine, why did you have to overreact like that, do you even know how much Jay has been lecturing me about that incident?" Ava huffed as she reached near you, crossing her arms and waiting for your reply as if you were a murderer waiting for your conviction. "They could swim just fine because they knew how to swim, if that's your logic why didn't you jump in the pool? You also don't know how to swim right?" Her expression flattered, hands going on her hips as she scoffed at your words, "you know I care about you, I didn't do it because I wanted to harm you, yet I'm the bad guy here, how would I know you'd end up like that?"
You rolled your eyes at her words, but the slight pity in your heart for her was overpowering your senses, "why would you even push me there in the first place?" She stomped her leg, pouting at you as if you denied her favorite candy, "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, tell Jay and his friends that you forgave me okay? Bye." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already walking away from you. Finding the boys wasn't very hard considering they spent most of their free time in the music room. You took in a deep breath before you knocked on the door. You pushed open the door, peeking in to see if it was occupied, Jake was the first person your eyes landed on, beside him sat Heeseung, both of them pausing mid-discussion. Sunghoon sat a few feet away, hands on his keyboard and beside him sat Jay, his guitar on his lap.
You stood at the doorway, not exactly sure why you even decided to entertain Ava's idea but you did it, so she won't have another reason to whine at you and also because you wanted to have some reason to be near Jay, even for a while. "Don't stand there looking like a lost puppy, you planning on coming in?" Your internal monologue ended quickly as Heeseung words rang in your ears. You awkwardly shuffled inside, closing the door behind. "Um-" You started, internally criticising yourself for not thinking through before you entered. Your eyes wandered towards the boys sitting in the room, four pairs of eyes, all focused towards you.
"Come sit here pretty," blush rose upon your cheeks as Sunghoon pointed towards the empty chair beside Jay, you nodded sheepishly, and made yourself comfortable. You were about to start saying something when your eyes landed on them, everyone just went back on doing what they were doing previously like you weren't present there at all, your brows furrowed in confusion and you wondered if you should say what you wanted to say or just slip out of the room. "Guys-" And just like that, everyone's attention was back on you, "yeah?" Jake urged you to continue and you shifted in your seat to turn towards Jay.
"I just wanted to say that the pool incident wasn't that big of a deal, things like that happen when you're trying to play pranks with your friends anyway," you laughed awkwardly, "I don't want you to be upset with Ava because of that." There was a brief moment of silence after you finished what you wanted to say, the silent stretching long enough for you to start rambling again, "she's a very good friend, she has always been by my side when I had no one, she can be a bit childish at times but she's sweet at heart-" "Are you trying to tell that to us or yourself pretty?"
"You, ofcourse." You answered quickly, but fidgeting with your hands was a dead giveaway of your real feelings. Jay put his guitar at his side, sighing once before turning to look at you, "did Ava ask you to do this?" You shook your head no, one hand raising to fix your glasses in place. "I saw you talking with her-" "Oh my God, you did?" "I was lying but you busted your own lie with this one." Your shoulders slumped in defeat, "okay maybe I did come to you because she told me but I was about to do that regardless." You blinked at them, smiling and waiting for them to say something, "you wounded me, we thought you wanted to hangout with us." Your eyes widened at Jake's words, "why would I want to hang out with you guys?"
Heeseung's hand clutched his heart, slouching forward as if it physically pained him to hear that sentence leave your mouth, Jake's hands flew on his mouth, Jay had an amused grin on his face and Sunghoon just smirked, "I'm sorry we aren't cool enough for you to hangout with us pretty.." he laughed watching color drain off your face. "No, it's not like that- I mean- wait you guys- you're twisting the plot, I'm not Regina George!" You sulked slightly, crossing your arms as you watched them topple over laughing at your panicked state, "I just wanted to say that I did not think you guys would want to hang out, since you know...we aren't close, I'm just Ava's best friend."
"You could be my best friend if you want," Jake smiled, throwing an exaggerated wink in your direction, you laugh as he threw his finger hearts. "Seriously though, you're not just Ava's best friend, you're fun on your own okay? Why wouldn't we want to hang out with you, we literally let you in the music room without further interrogating you!" A genuine smile tugged at your face at Heeseung's words, which stretched into a full blown grin when the others nodded their heads in agreement. "And what Ava did was wrong, and she should have apologized to you then and there but she didn't, which was again, very wrong of her." You couldn't bring yourself to deny Sunghoon's words.
Your eyes fell upon Jay who was silent all through this portion of conversation, he sat still, eyes unfocused as he stared ahead, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was listening but had his mind somewhere else, "Jay?" Your soft voice brought him back from his thoughts, he looked into your eyes, "Let's just move past this, guys..." and no one could bring themselves to debate with you further. "It's my birthday in two weeks, we're planning a trip, I was hoping you'll join us.." You pointed your index finger towards yourself, as if anyone inviting you for their birthday was something you had only thought of in your luxury dreams list, Sunghoon gave you a deadpan look, "who else?" Yeah that gave you the answer you were looking for.
The trip to Jay's birthday arrived more quickly than you could decipher. Jake informed you that the trip was more like a staycation on Jay's vacation home, from the moment you arrived at Jay's vacation home you knew you've stepped into something exquisite. The gated driveway winds through lush green gardens until the villa reveals itself, the sleek architecture, coastal elegance and everything about it screams luxury. As Jay pushed open the grand double doors, you're greeted by high vaulted ceilings, polished marble floors, and floor-to-ceiling glass panels that blur the line between indoors and the shimmering ocean beyond, you could hear Ava gasp from where she was standing beside you, Heeseung just chuckled, nudging you to go forward.
The scent of the ocean lingered in the air, and Jay informed everyone about their sleeping arrangements. "Everyone gets their own room?" Jake chuckled at your bewildered, stepping closer to help you put the luggage in your room. You made your way through the open-living room plan towards the first floor where your room would be. You, Heeseung and Sunghoon would be sleeping on the first floor whilst Jake, Jay and Ava would be on the ground floor. When everyone was done checking out the interior, your footsteps took you towards the exterior of the house, where the real magic lied.
A pathway of natural stone leads directly to the secluded beach. The sand is soft, untouched and the water crystal clear. There was not a single soul in sight, only the rhythmic lull of waves and the occasional cry of a distant seagull. "Wow, baby! This is literal heaven," your eyes wandered towards Ava who was now clinging onto Jay's arms like he would disappear if she let go. He smiled back at her, ruffling her hair as he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. You looked away, towards the beach where waves crashed into the shore in a gentle kiss. Your chest tightened, a small frown appearing on your face unintentionally. "You good pretty?" Sunghoon nudged your shoulders with his, his gaze trained towards the serene beauty in front of his eyes. "Yes I am-" "Let's see the beach from up front," before you could reply to Sunghoon you felt yourself getting dragged towards the beach by Ava, Jay shouting behind you to be careful. You looked back, Sunghoon giving you an amused look before retreating his steps back into the villa.
Jake called you back after sometime, deciding that since it was already late, everyone could eat the dinner and sleep away the exhaustion to properly enjoy tomorrow. Everyone wordlessly agreed, too tired to explore further. Everyone bid their goodbye. You went into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water before you went back into your room, your footsteps light. You poured yourself some water, taking a water bottle with you since you felt too lazy to get out of your room again. You slowly made your way towards the staircase leading towards the first floor when you heard light giggles. Your head turned towards the voices instinctively.
Jay had Ava backed up against the wall in between their rooms, their limbs tangled together with a quiet urgency. Jay kissed her like he was falling, fast and fearless and she kissed him back like she knew how to catch, but never intended to. Jay's hand moved from her waist to the door handle, opening it and backing Ava into her room. The door clicked shut behind them, and you still stood there, watching, like you always did. You gripped the bottle tightly, heart heavy and hollow at the same time. You made your way inside your room before your tear could manage to escape. The door clicked shut behind you with more force than you intended but you didn't care, not at this moment when the world around you felt like it was caving in.
"Someone help me with the drinks!" You yelled out to no one in particular as you watched everyone just beeline towards the beach. You put your hand above your head, eyes squinting at the sun. You internally thanked yourself for opting to wear lenses instead, beach and glasses would be a disastrous combination, "let me help you.." You turned towards Jay who slowly made his way towards you. He smiled, taking the box of drinks from your hand and signalling his head towards the lighter box instead. "I would've asked the boys to help with these, you didn't have to help with this." You shook your head, adjusting the box in your hands, "no worries, but if I collapsed right now, tell my parents I died a hero."
Jay's eyebrows rose at your remark, a slight smirk gracing upon his face, "by carrying a box of drinks? How noble. I would crave 'Gone too soon- by a box of Cola' on your tombstone." You huffed a breath, "are you sure we are not hazed? Why does this feel like a punishment?" Jay grinned clearly enjoying your suffering, "I think they went in first to avoid this exact trouble, we were set up." You just shook your head at his words, setting the boxes near each other, Jay ruffled your hair, then Ava called his name and he waved at you before running towards her.
The sun is warm against your skin as you step into the soft sand, the ocean glittering ahead. Around you the world felt lazy and dripped in golden hue but you couldn't shake away the heaviness of your heart. Jake and Sunghoon were already waist-deep in the ocean, calling out the rest of you to join them. Heeseung reclined on a lounge chair, under a fluttering umbrella. Oversized sunglasses perched upon his face as he smirked at the boys playing in the water. Your eyes travelled towards Jay and Ava, who sat a few feet away from you on a shared blanket, their silhouettes framed by the glow of the sun. Ava leaned into him, laughing at something he whispered in her ears.
You knew it was better to look away, that ignorance was the only choice you had in this situation, but you couldn't bring yourself to do that. But your eyes stayed fixed on the way his fingers gently brush a strand of her hair away from her face, and how she leaned her head on his shoulder like she belonged there and maybe she does. You watched as Jay lay down on his stomach, and Ava on her back, his eyes closed as his hand circled around her waist. You wished you could just walk up to him, sitting beside him as your fingers traced your name on his back, not to claim or to mark but to belong, even just for a fleeting moment. But you don't move, you just watch as she calls his name when he runs off towards the boys to play in the water.
"You aren't getting spared just because you are busy daydreaming in your own world, pretty." You screamed as you felt Sunghoon pick you up bridal style and run towards the beach as he spoke. "Yah, you know I can't swim." You tried kicking your legs to get him to put you down but there was no real fight in your attacks, "I know, that's why I'll be near you when you play! Trust me pretty." And with that Sunghoon jumped into the water with his still in his arms. Jake and Heeseung joined you two and helped you with splashing water on Sunghoon's face.
"You're doing good pretty, just hold onto me tight." Your hands were on Sunghoon's shoulder while he had his on your waist as he guided you deeper into the ocean. You shrieked when you couldn't feel anything beneath your feet and his hold tightened around you, his arms now circling around your waist as he pulled you close. Jay watched both of you pinch Sunghoon's ears for his clumsy actions, something twisted low in his stomach and he couldn't explain why watching you both play together made his fingers tighten around Ava's waist. "Jay, it hurts." His attention went back to his girlfriend who looked at him with a questioning gaze, he shook his head, his fingers soothing the skin on her waist as a silent apology.
"Alright, it's enough for the day, let's get back to have dinner." Your head turned towards Heeseung's voice, you walked up to him, others following close behind. "Had your fun?" He asked, one of his eyebrows arching as he spoke, you nodded your head as both of you fell into a casual conversation. "Okay how about we split the chores?" Ava groaned as Sunghoon's suggestion, clearly displeased. She leaned her weight on Jay, blinking up at him as she pouted, "I'm too tired to help..." Sunghoon scoffed unintentionally and Jake's coughed in his elbow to mask his laughter. "You just laid there on the beach and did nothing but you're tired?" Jay threw a glance at Sunghoon, clearly intending to make him shut up, then he looked at you, his eyes soft, "both of you go rest, we will call when everything's ready okay?"
Ava lit up, reaching up to kiss his cheek she ran inside the house and into her room, without a single glance towards the mess everyone was left with. You heard Jake sigh softly beside you, looking at the mess, hands on his hips. You stepped closer, bumping your hips with his, "how about Jay and Heeseung take care of cooking, Sunghoon can take care of collecting the empty drink bottles and both of us will clear the garbage?" He grinned at you, clearly pleased with your suggestion when Jay's voice cut through the air, "we will handle it, you should go and rest, you helped earlier too." You shook your head at his words, "I want to help, so please let me, and the more people are helping the sooner this will be over." You smiled as you pushed Jake towards the cleaning supplements to get started.
"Wow this took longer than we thought," you straightened your back, nodding your head at Jake's complaints. The sun had set and the moonlight casted a soft glow on the ocean. The streetlights were turned on and everything looked straight out of a movie. "We're done with dinner!" You looked at Jake who mirrored your smile, "first one to reach the kitchen is the loser!" You said as you ran towards the kitchen, Jake followed close behind as he complained about you getting a headstart. You laughed when he reached the kitchen first, giving Heeseung a jumpscare when he bumped into him. You laughed at his proud face, enjoying yourself more than you thought when Jay's voice cut in, "Ava's still sleeping, I'll bring her dinner later, let's get fresh and then we will eat."
Dinner was spent with Sunghoon and Jay's bickering while Heeseung just laughed at his friend's banter. Laughter echoed over clinking cutlery, voices overlapping and plates passing with casual affection. "I literally said the first person to reach the kitchen is the loser." Sunghoon laughed loudly at Jake's bewildered face, his eyes round and big as he looked at you, "you're so mean.." You reached out and ruffled his head, cooing at his whiny self, "your fault for not listening properly." He slumped against the chair, giving you faux glasses as other's made fun of him.
"We're sleeping early?" Jay questioned when everyone started complaining about being tired, a gentle frown etching on his face as he looked at you all. Sunghoon nodded his head, "Ava hasn't eaten since afternoon, so feed your girl, we will sleep too now, all the cleaning is finally creeping up on me." Heeseung, Jake and you religiously nodded, making Jay sigh as he prepared a plate for Ava and made his way into her room. "Let's get the cake and other things ready, I believe he will be occupied enough till we get things done," Heeseung whispered as soon as the door clicked shut behind Jay and everyone started preparing for the birthday boy's surprise.
"Okay, I believe we are ready, are we ready?" Jake whispered, box of cake in his hands, beside him stood Heeseung and Sunghoon who had party poppers in their hands. You were given the responsibility to record the moment. You focused the camera on the cake, then slowly backing away to capture all three of them in a single shot. You softly giggled looking at them, a big grin plastered on your face as you recorded them. All four of you were wearing birthday hats, and you couldn't help but coo at how cute the three boys looked. In one of your hands were two birthday hats, one of them extra large since it was meant for Jay. You looked at the timing, signalling them it was time for all of you to huddle outside Ava's room.
You knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Jay to open it. You wondered if giving Jay a surprise while Ava wasn't involved in it was a good idea or not but the plan to surprise was spontaneous, the one which you made while you were cleaning, later Sunghoon informed Heeseung about it when he found him alone. Ava never got out of her room, so you figured it wasn't anyone's fault she wasn't involved. Your heart drummed against your ribs, mind swirling with thoughts that if you catch them in their intimate moments, you couldn't bring yourself to handle that scene again. But all your thoughts flew out of your mind when the door swung open and Jay emerged from the door looking confused.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGSEONG!!!" All four of you screamed, confetti flying everywhere as Jay laughed, completely amused at the little surprise his friends pulled. Sunghoon took the large hat from your hand and placed it neatly on Jay's head. Ava emerged from the room, her hair messy and she was barely awake. You passed the phone to Heeseung and placed one hat on her head. Jay cut the cake, and the rest of the night was filled with questions from Jay about the surprise and what all went down while preparing. Heeseung apologized to Ava for excluding her from the surprise as he explained how the plan was spontaneous and no one got any opportunity to approach her. She smiled at him as she waved his concern off, but when the little party was almost over you could feel her mood getting sour as she looked at you.
You got comfortable on the bed, sighing in relief as your body relaxed. You turned to your side, pulling the blanket closer, you slipped into sleep the moment you closed your eyes, body too drained to resist it. For a while everything around you stilled, the noise, the thoughts, even the time. But after few hours, something stirred, and your eyes blinked open, heart and mind racing. You're half-awake, half-dazed, your body begging you to just go back to sleep. You tried going back to sleep, but it was too late to go back to how it felt before. You got off from the bed and made your way downstairs, maybe Some fresh air would help you with the sleep.
You stepped out of the villa, the air around you lighter and cooler. You made your way towards the narrow stone path, leading you towards the quiet overlook by the cliffside, where the ocean stretches endlessly below. The sky opened with each step you took, you breathe in the air, the wind gently caressing your body. "What are you doing here this late?" You jumped slightly, heart skipping before your mind caught up but you didn't move. Jay stepped beside you, leaning against the railings of the overlook, his eyes trained on your face as you looked ahead. "Couldn't sleep," you whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the moment.
"Something's on your mind?" You finally looked at him, his shirt was slightly crumpled, hair disheveled, his fingers twitched once before he clasped his hands together in stillness, his gaze was hard even though he looked composed from the outside, "you're angry, what happened?" The words left your mouth before your brain could catch up and your lips trembled as he locked his eyes with you. "I'm not angry," he stuttered lightly, clearing his throat and you looked away, biting your lips. "It's Ava right? Wanna talk about it?" He sighed, looking up towards the sky then back at you, contemplating whether he should talk to you about it or not.
"She got angry at me since she couldn't wish me at sharp 12..." You eyes widened at his words, disbelief gracing your face at the sheer absurdity of the situation, he looked at you, sitting down and motioning you to join him, and when you did, he continued, "I was so shock, she was in a sour mood, she wasn't even looking at me when I tried to approach her so I asked her till she told me why she was acting that way," you silently listened to him, feeling bad that he got into such situation on his birthday, "she has always been like that, there was a time when I didn't pick up her call at 12 AM sharp on my birthday cause I slept and she didn't talk to me whole day," you chuckled lightly.
"Is laughing your type of coping mechanism? Considering she's your only friend, and she didn't talk with you on your birthday, doesn't that make her a bad friend?" His questions caught you off guard and you coughed to reduce the awkward tension it rose in the air. "She'll come around, Jay." He looked at you like he was trying to search for some answers he knew you wouldn't verbally give him, "can I share something with you?" His voice was soft as he asked you that and you nodded your head, not finding the courage in you to decline his request. "You're the only person I'm sharing this with, I know you're her best friend so you should probably be the last person I'm saying this to, but from the time I've known you, I know there's no one better than you who would understand me...."
You nodded your head at him to continue, he looked around, his shoulders slumping slightly, "I feel like the Ava in front of me is so different from the girl who used to send me letters..." your stomach dropped at his words, you didn't say anything, you kept your face still but your inside twisted but still you forced a hesitant nod, "like she's very sweet, but the kind of person I imagined her to be, the kind of person I fell for is so different from the reality. We have our sweet moments but they don't feel real to me," he played with his fingers, head hung low, "whenever I try to talk to her about the letters she diverts the topic by saying what matters is the present, her letters always used to see through me, I felt seen in those letter, I didn't even have to say anything but her letters told me they understood regardless, but it isn't the same anymore, it feel so unreal."
"Jay," you sighed wondering what words would even bring peace to his heart, you wanted to tell him the truth, that it was you who wrote those letters and not Ava, but you couldn't bring yourself to confess that. "You're her best friend but I keep on complaining about her behavior to you, don't snitch on me," he pointed a finger at you, "please?" You laughed at his actions, "I won't tell her about this, I promise." He looked at you, eyes squinting as if he didn't believe in your words, "pinky promise?" You stretched your pinky finger towards him and his eyes lit up as he hooked his pinky finger with you.
Jay looked at the ocean in front of him, "relationships are more complicated than I thought they would be." You nudge your shoulders with him to cheer him up a bit, "tell me about it..." you rolled your eyes, standing up and extending your hand to him, the sun would start to rise after sometime and it would be better if you head back so you'd have enough energy to travel back home tomorrow. He held your hand to pull himself up, dusting his pants a bit. Both of you just walked back in without any conversation, the silence more comfortable in between you. "Let's grab something to drink before we go to bed," you nodded, letting yourself be a little bit more selfish for wanting to spend time with him.
The light of the refrigerator drapes a soft glow on his face, highlighting the curve of his sharp jaw, the way his lashes cast faint shadows on his cheeks, his messy hair which somehow still looks perfect to you. And he looks calm, thoughtful even like your heart isn't shattering into pieces right beside him. You took a few steps back, leaning against the counter, pretending to look at something on your phone but your eyes are trained on him. On the way his brows squint slightly to decide which drink to choose, the way he quietly mumbles to himself as if he belongs to a place which is softer, quieter. And you love him. God, you love him.
You swallow the lump forming in your throat, try to tear your eyes from his frame, to have some mercy on your heart. You wish you didn't feel this way, wished you never wrote those letters and kept your love hidden deep in your heart. You wished he would just turn around and look at you like you aren't just his girlfriend's best friend but someone who was actually meant to be his. And he turns around and looks at you, flashing you a quick smile, and it shatters you because it's the kind of smile he gives to everyone, and not the one you're dying to get, the kind he has reserved only for Ava. But you smile back, you pretend like you're not falling apart under refrigerator light for a boy who has no idea what he has gotten himself into.
He makes his way towards you, now handing you a soft drink and leaning right beside you. He takes a sip, humming lightly as if he hasn't tasted the same drink countless times today. "So," he started, putting the drink on the counter and turning towards you, "did you break up with your boyfriend?" You choked on the drink at his random question before calming yourself, "what boyfriend?" You tilted your head as you waited for him to answer, he just shrugged, "the one who humiliated you in my birthday party some years ago in high school." Your jaw dropped before you could stop it, "you remember that? And it was your birthday party?"
He nodded his head, finding your reaction amusing, "I was wondering when you'd say something about it but you didn't." You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again when you couldn't find the words, "so did you break up with him?" You nodded your head at him, "yeah, just after I reached home, I broke up with him and never looked back. I realized it after so long that deep down I knew he wasn't treating me right, I just wanted someone else to remind me of that and you did." His eyebrows arched at your words, his lips twitching into a smile, "guess you owe me a big one then," You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder a bit, "in your dreams Jay."
He laughed at your words, now taking both of your drinks and throwing it in the bin, "I'm glad that I met you, I don't think I'd be here if I didn't meet you that day." He smiled softly at your words, turning towards you, he stepped closer, "I'm glad you're here too, I feel so relaxed right now, it's amusing really..." you tilt your head at him, "what's so amusing?" His eyes went back and forth from your face then to the ground a couple of times, wondering if he should say what he wanted to, "hm? Jay?" He sighed, clearing his throat a little bit, "this," he said, waving his hands in between you two, "what's this?" You chuckled, finding his hesitation endearing. "This thing in between us, it feels," you stepped closer, nodding your head at him to continue, "it feels what Jay?" "Real. It feels real."
"Pretty I feel like Jay's birthday this year is going to be very eventful," you and Sunghoon were sitting on the kitchen island, eating fruits, Ava insisted Jay to spend some alone time with her before you go back home so they were out, Heeseung and Jake were still sleeping. "Why's that?" You questioned as you took a bite of watermelon. "Jay said Ava was upset we didn't involve her in the surprise, which doesn't make sense cause Heeseung apologized for it and gave her genuine reason, right?" You nodded and he continued, "but I believe they got into an argument or something, Jay's been tense but he said that Ava wanted to throw a surprise for him too, all alone, and he agreed because he said it would make her happy."
You hummed in response, knowing well that Ava has a habit of bringing attention towards her in any situation, so it was inevitable that she would ask Jay to do something like that. Surprise for Jay sounded good too, they had been dating for months so she must've had something in her mind. "Let her have her moment, despite the reasons we could've texted her or something but we managed within ourselves so let her show her love towards him the way she wants." Sunghoon nodded, silently agreeing with you as he ate the apple, "I hope everything will go well, she didn't even ask any of us for help," you sighed at his words, praying everything would go well.
Now you're dressing up for the surprise Ava had planned for Jay, she called everyone to the living room when both of them returned from their little outing and informed everyone to dress up nicely after you reached back home and meet in her parent's house since they were out on a business trip, he seemed quite excited about it. You hoped it would live up to his expectations and not end in yet another argument. You sighed watching yourself in the mirror, one hand holding the glasses while the other the lenses. You put the glasses down deciding lenses would be a great option if Ava or for that matter anyone else thought about pushing you into the pool again, you'd at least be able to see your downfall clearly.
You asked Ava if she needed your help and she just shrugged, declining your offer and throwing a snarky comment at you, something along the lines of, "wouldn't want anyone else to take credit for what I am going to do for him." And you just hummed, not wanting to trigger her more by reminding her that of course she'd fear someone else taking credit given that she has done the same to date Jay. Those words sounded very rich coming from her, the hypocrisy was astonishing. You texted Sunghoon the address of Ava's parent's house and asked him to forward it to the other boys.
Your eyes fell upon the clock, and you grabbed your things, booking a cab and texting Sunghoon that you'd reach the house in 20 minutes. He texted a thumbs up emoji, informing you that they would arrive at the house around that time too. You leaned against the car seat, watching the other vehicles pass by you in a rushed blur. Your heart thumped in your chest for some reason and you took a few deep breaths to calm the nerves down. It was inevitable you'd feel anxious, it's all you had been feeling ever since Ava started dating Jay, you were mentally preparing yourself to watch them being all lovey dovey in front of you without having a breakdown yourself.
You arrive at the house, a small envelope in your hand, the evening sky painted in hues of pink and yellows. When you reached the door of the house, you could hear faint chatter from inside the room. You hesitate, glancing down at the envelope with Jay's name written on it and then back up at the faint lights flashing through the living room's curtains. You frowned, texting Ava about your arrival, you twisted the door open after you got a signal from her and stepped inside. You were still standing near the entrance of the house, the house was pitch dark, but still you could hear some murmurs, more clearer than before.
The door behind you swung open, the night air brushing your skin as you turned around to find Jay hesitantly step inside, one hand clutching his phone and the other the door. His silhouette was half-hidden in the shadow. Behind him stood Sunghoon, Heeseung and Jake, anticipation etched on their faces. Someone behind you switched on the lights and Jay blinked, first because of the lights and then towards the crowd in front of him. You heard someone gasp from behind you, "Jay is here," and a loud chorus of "SURPRISE" erupted in the previously silence-filled house. Confetti exploded through the poppers, the music volume rising up like inflation.
Ava's shoulder brushed against yours as she ran towards Jay to hug him, he hugged her back, blinking in confusion. The other three entered the house from the corner, Sunghoon throwing a worried look towards Heeseung who silently hushed him. Jake's eyes locked with yours as he passed by you, then he turned towards his other friends to whisper something. Jay smiled tightly when Ava dragged him towards the mini stage where she kept the cake for him. And his eyes found yours before Ava cupped his cheek to give him a birthday kiss. The music stopped and Ava gathered everyone's attention, "Today's my lovely boyfriend's birthday so first we will cut the cake and then we can continue with the celebration."
Loud cheer erupted at her words, you kept your gift on the corner where everyone else kept theirs and made your way towards the mini stage where others were already present. Ava cheered loudly, a bright smile adorning her face as she took off the cover from the cake, a towering, picture-perfect chocolate cake, glossy with ganache, topped with sparklers and gold-letter candles spelling his name. His smile flattered for a second before he masked it with his politeness. "Ava," he whispered quietly, eyes darting towards the people watching each of his actions in anticipation, "I'm allergic to chocolate." You could see the color drained from Ava's face as she looked around at others. "I ordered a vanilla cake, the bakery may have misplaced my order." She pouted, clinging onto his arms as other people gave her words of sympathy that it's the thought that counts.
You were sitting on the couch beside Sunghoon, in front of you sat Jay and Ava, the music blasted in your ears, but you could still decipher the conversations going around you. Jay tapped his foot repeatedly against the ground, his shoulders tensed as he took a sip from his cup. "You're repeatedly tapping your foot on the ground, if you wanna dance, you could've just said so, come on, let's dance." You could see Jay froze at her words but didn't really resist when she dragged him towards the dance floor. You watch as Ava laughs, all bright and confident, clearly proud of the party she has thrown. You could see her dress sparkle and sway with her. One of her hands was clasped around Jay's wrist and the other waved the crowd off to make some space for them.
You could see the way his shoulders sank when he reached the center of the dance floor, the way his eyes were scanning the room, over the crowd as if he was checking the exits. Ava pulled him closed, dancing around him carefree and unbothered. She turned around to face him, hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer, she leans in for a kiss and he obliges, people cheer around them, flashing on camera making you blind. And he laughed when they pulled apart, hands on her waist as she sways. Your heart tugs a little, with sadness or jealousy you aren't really sure, cause you know Jay prefers to spend his birthday around his loved ones, intimately and not amongst the crowd. You know, because he had mentioned about it in one of his letters.
"You do realize he is not the one you're supposed to be looking at, right?" You jumped at Sunghoon's voice, "huh? What?" He shook his head as he leaned back on the couch, your eyes following his actions, "Jay," he started, taking a look at him briefly before looking at you again, "you aren't supposed to look at your best friend's boyfriend with that intensity in your eyes, what happened to the girl code?" You choked on the air, rubbing the area just above your chest to soothe your breathing. "I'm not staring at him," you glared, clearly caught off guard by his observation, "yeah and I'm Michael Jackson," you rolled your eyes, leaning against the couch, "you're reaching, I was just looking at them dance together," Sunghoon smirked leaning close to your face, "without blinking? Was their dance that admirable?"
You groaned throwing your head back, you could hear Sunghoon chuckling at your misery from beside you, "this isn't the first time I saw you staring pretty..." you turned your head slowly in his direction, he smiled lightly, eyes full of emotions or was it the effect of alcohol he was drinking? "Hm?" He sighed, resting his head at the back of the couch, mimicking you, "I saw how you look at him, at the music room, at his house during our celebration, at the villa, at the beach, the time when he served you dinner," your gaze was fixed on his face as he went on and on about all the times he had watch you fawn over your best friends boyfriend. You couldn't bring yourself to deny all his observations, not when he wasn't looking for your approval anyway, he had observed you and was just stating what he saw.
"Your eyes are so predictable, pretty," He said after he didn't get any response from you and saw you looking away. There was not a single bite in his words, he didn't accuse or blame you for being a bad friend. Your eyes met his again, you couldn't find any sharpness, or any judgement, just softness, like he understood where you were coming from without you having to say anything. Your heart swelled with something you didn't quite understand but felt overwhelmed, "are you always this annoying?" Your words were softer than you intended them to be, and he just smirked, putting his hand on your shoulder, "only when I'm onto something." You sighed but didn't resist his embrace, "you're not onto something, Jay's my best friend's boyfriend." His other hand made its way towards yours to play with your bracelet, "he is, that doesn't mean you wish things were different though." You let me play, eyes lingering on the veins of his hands for a second too long, "I didn't say that," "You didn't have to."
"Where did they go?" Your eyes followed Sunghoon's line of vision, "probably in Ava's room to make out or something," you mumbled quietly but he caught that, "you're not going to sit here and sulk," he said grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, "no girl gets to stand beside me and feel like a loser, that shit is reserved only for boys." You wanted to say something but decided against it when you couldn't think of anything smart to say. He dragged you towards the dance floor, his hands circling around your waist, he abruptly pulled you close, your hands grabbing his shoulders in response. "Focus on me tonight, who knows, tomorrow you might forget who Jay is."
You rolled your eyes at him, hands now comfortably resting around his neck as both of your bodies swayed with the rhythm of music. The night had stretched on, the music settling to something slow and soft. One of his hands slid up to rest against your back, while the other rested snugly on your waist. His actions pulled your body closer to his, from this distance you could count all the moles that were scattered across his face, the curve of his lashes, the point of his nose, and his lips. You gulped, feeling heat rise up in your body at the proximity. You tried looking away but he held you in place with his gaze. You were sure he could hear your heartbeat from how close you were.
One of his hands lifted, his movements slow and deliberate as he looked at your face for any signs of discomfort, his knuckles grazed your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered close and you leaned into his touch. His breath hitched, taking shallow breaths his hand now cradled your cheek, fully, thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. You sighed softly, leaning more into his touch as if leaning felt safer than speaking. You felt him inch closer, your nose barely grazing against his, you could smell him, the faint scent of detergent which lingered on his shirt, his shampoo, and something so achingly Sunghoon. Your breath flattered, syncing with his, for a moment both of you just breathed each other in.
His lips meet yours, softly, no urgency, no rush, like he's taking his time to learn the curve of your lips, a little hesitant, like he was giving you time to back out if you want. It was the kind of kiss that communicated his soft sighs and gasps, one that lingers at the back of your mind even after years. His thumb caressed your cheek, his actions meant less for comforting you and more for anchoring himself and for a moment everything single thought from your mind disappeared. Then his thumb suddenly froze mid-motion, he pulled away slightly, enough to look at your face. "You're crying pretty..." your eyebrows furrowed at his words and you opened your eyes, his thumb caught another tear which fell from your eyes but he didn't press further.
"I'm sorry..." you choked, unable to comprehend the reason behind your tears. You wanted to kiss him, and you did, but you couldn't figure out why the tears started to flow. The hand on your cheek, slid up to the back of your neck and he pulled close. You buried your head at the crook of his neck. "It hurts so bad, hoon." You aren't even sure where it hurts badly, Ava's lie, or watching her living the life you only imagined in your dreams, or the fact that even if Jay knew it was you, it wouldn't have bloomed into something so precious. "Shh, everything will be okay, you don't have to pretend in front of me." His fingers tangled in your hair as he drew soothing circles on your head. You nodded your head, pulling away a little from his embrace and from the corner of your eyes you saw Jay furiously walking down the stairs, his shoulders tense.
"Sunghoon," you pulled away from him and he brushed the remaining of the tears with both of his hands, "Jay." You pointed your finger towards his figure, he shoved people who came into his path, his steps hurried and faze fixed on the main door of Ava's house, "follow him," Sunghoon nudged you in Jay's direction, your face contoured into confusion, "but shouldn't Ava be going after him?" He ran his hand through his hair as he watched Jay near the door, "something tells me he needs you more than he'll need Ava at this moment." You looked at him for a second, letting his words sink deep inside you, after a while you nodded at his direction and turned around to run towards Jay.
Sunghoon watched as your hand slipped away from him, the same hand which he had intertwined with yours a few moments back. He watched it all, the way the tip of your finger slid against his one last time, like sand slipping from his palm, the way your lips trembled when you turn away, the urgency in your steps when you try your best to move through the crowd to reach Jay, and his hand tremble beside him. His other hand lifted up to trace the lingering memory of your lips pressing against it. And when he recalled the way your lips moved against his and how he tasted the salty taste of your tear before catching a sight of it, he wondered if that's what heartbreak tastes like. Like a kiss dipped in honey, ruined by the sting of salt you never meant for him to find.
⋮ ⌗ ┆概要⨾ maybe you ask for too much, but jungwon always delivers.
梁祯元 𝔁 𝒻 .ᐟ读者 ── 1.4k
explicit content ⋆ smut (mdni)、condescending dom!jungwon、sub!reader、established relationship、degradation/humilation、unprotected sex (don't do this)、hung!won、(slight) size & bulge kink、hints of pain kink、praise kink、 dacryphilia、manhandling、mating press position、mentions of vaginal fingering、petnames used: baby、princess. ⌇ℳ.list
⋮ ⌗ ┆便条⨾ this is cross-ish posted from the jin version i wrote of this fic :3 edited/changed this a bit because jungwon is a little more feral in my mind, so 😁 in any case, this was really fun to write! hope you all enjoy, much loveeeee! <33
Self-sabotage must bloom from within you.
Sprout and sow its roots into you, slow and steady, unsuspecting with a growing sinisterness blamed on something else ─ discipline scarcity, forgetfulness, an unseriousness you'd made more of a joke than stated, your laugh hollowed in its tail end as the weight of consequences push against your chest, crushing ribs and whistling wheezes. You wouldn't say it's terribly detrimental, some of your greatest life lessons are learned through your least loved trait. Life goes on anyways, whether you're your best friend or worst enemy and in those lulls, Jungwon remains stable. Unwavering. Much like he is now, as you tremble under his weight.
He's one of your life's nicest surprises ─ unexpected, serious and with a heart like no other. It makes your brain stutter, lashes batted in increments because what warrants this? You're trudging through life, changes here and there made for your betterment but up to no standard of your own. Not that you're undeserving of him, but at least what you'd read in fictional tales and romantic poems, you thought you would've met him at a better place. In a better version of you, the one that doesn't need body doubling to get anything done, the kind of person who doesn't blank when asked about who they are, what they like. They're all too big of questions, ones you have answers for but somehow feel like don't fit into conversation ─ like they belong to a former life of yours, or deserve no platform at all. With time, and in no time at all, Jungwon fills in the blanks. Draw conclusions of you ringing too close to home, a prickle of unnerve at your nape for your fear of perception. Yet, you yearn. Yearn for love and to be seen, even in the dark crevices of yourself and in true Jungwon fashion, he loves you through it all.
Doesn't mind the clutter when things get bad, when your joke's fall flat or the glossiness of your eyes coming with an impending burst of your chest. Unconditional is the love he holds for you, a something that cannot be revoked or misplaced by over-thought actions or a lack of words. Pressure conjures in his palm, soft yet heavy against your hand's back, a wobbled corner of your lips lifted given before another hand swallows the back of your head, your face burying into his chest. A metallic taste decorates your palate, teeth sunk into your bottom lip in a mask of your wails, a poor attempt if anything before the dam breaks.
You could say you find yourself in a similar situation now. That same too-big feeling in your chest, lungs burning with the breath you forget to take with a vision becoming blurry. It's overwhelm ─ less horrific, with the beginnings of pleasure as you let out a winced whimper, lips clamped into a pale after.
"Look at how good you're doing," Jungwon coos, love in his eyes while they hang low, glued to where you connect. "How perfect you are taking me."
Sheets ruffle, a muffled moan at your throat's back before you pant in desperation, a simmered sting in your eyes and between your legs as Jungwon feeds inches of himself into you. Knuckles burn white, your dropped chin futile in your chanced look down below, unsure how much more length you can take before you're split open.
The inches grind to a halt, a burial to your hilt that has your teeth baring, a keen chocked back whilst your body burns furnace levels hot. Your ears ring like church bells, eyes blinked purposely to clear your vision's haze as your body adjusts to his size, clenching and squirming to his detriment.
He's gracious about it ─ as he is everything ─ not fucking into you like some rapid beast kept away in his chest. The lid of cement contains it, some cracks and frays but nothing sizable enough to hurt you.
Not in any way you wouldn't like, of course.
All glossy eyed with a pant that doesn't cease, your voice finds its sound, vocalise your affirmations accompanied by a nod and with a short pause, a double check for your welfare, Jungwon moves.
He groans, you whimper. Your toes curl with all the lust pooled in your stomach pushed to clog your throat, a feeling of fullness your body doesn't recognise but clings to, even in a dull seethe of pain, reaches out for hints of ecstasy. The more he moves ─ draws his hips back, slick echoing off four walls and announced when he plunges back in ─ the more it's accessible. The more you live for it, back of your head rolling against a pillow's plush as a galaxy dances across your eyes, your moans louder than your ears' rushed blood.
"Aren't you lucky that I'm the one to ruin you and no one else?" Jungwon offers, tone bathed in that lick of condescend you clench at. The grin's shit-eating on his face as he feels the inevitable squeeze, a harder jut of his hips a crack in his composure. He collects, then carries on.
"I took my sweet time with you too, made you come thrice on my fingers before you felt brave enough."
Shadowed in the lowlights of your bedroom, his body magnetizes closer to yours, fingers undoing your duvet grip and weaving his with yours. All with hips at an impossible angle, one that feels like more inches you've had to accommodate for, friction burn on your heels as they glide hot against the duvet, body too small for his dispensed pleasure.
"Tell me," the whisper dances in your ears, bottom lip grazed against the flesh with a slight labour to his breath. It's the single most erotic thing you've ever heard. "Is it worth it, princess? Feeling me in all the way in your stomach?"
"Y─" you choke on enthusiasm, the tears in your eyes pushed past their waterline and down your warm cheeks, lips squeaking out the obvious. "Yes."
"Aren't you sweet?" you hear his smile before seeing it, his face hauntingly beautiful as his pelvis hits the back of your thighs again and again. It spins your head dizzy. "Even sweeter when you're crying for me,"
A kiss bestows the skin of your cheek, a stripe against its warmth as he licks your tear away. All before his fingers squeeze against yours in a sequence of three ─ I. Love. You.
A sob hurtles out your throat, contained in the cross of moans pouring out in generosity, the piston of his hips, feel of his skin and cycle of his breaths making a mess of your body and mind.
"It's okay, baby," his fingers untwine, the hover of his chest not as imminent while his body heat vacates, your legs handled and propped to the stretch of his shoulders. "You know nothing but pleasure with me."
And you do. Even with its beginnings of pain, all nothing but a vague memory as he folds you, your thigh's flesh braced to your chest as his bodyweight bares into into their back. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull as you become untamed, voice's volume foreign to your ears as he chases you off a cliff, his thrusts pushing your head off the pillow and into your headboard. It smacks, your bed creaks, crying with the overwhelm you feel, body with no choice but to suffer the consequences of your actions. Your insistence that you can take it. To your credit, you do, but to an undoing of yourself you cannot overwrite. Ruined by him for anyone else and you wouldn't have it any other way, your tears kissed away before Jungwon's lips find yours, a kiss of death as your orgasm explodes through the cells of your body.
What crosses your mind once the fog clears, when your body's back on Earth and you're more human is that you wish you watched. Saw the tip of him signal beneath your lower stomach's skin, the rosy flush fill the shell of his ears, the growing desperation Jungwon really can't hold back with you before he ruts into you. Letting go, giving you his everything.
You wish you could've seen it all.
Lucky for you, your boyfriend is nothing but willing. A cautious look given before his eyes widen at your legs linking around him, crossing at the small of his back. He laughs then, breathy and low-toned, licking arousal up your spine before he goes again, the feeling of fullness less thought of as self-sabotage and more like love.
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