Se um dia alguém perguntar por mim
Diz que vivi p’ra te amar
Antes de ti, só existi
Cansado e sem nada p’ra dar
Meu bem, ouve as minhas preces
Peço que regresses, que me voltes a querer
Eu sei que não se ama sozinho
Talvez devagarinho possas voltar a aprender
Meu bem, ouve as minhas preces
Peço que regresses, que me voltes a querer
Eu sei que não se ama sozinho
Talvez devagarinho possas voltar a aprender
Se o teu coração não quiser ceder
Não sentir paixão, não quiser sofrer
Sem fazer planos do que virá depois
O meu coração pode amar pelos dois.
Not only did I get a brand new microphone this christmas, I also found the instrumental version of this gorgeous song. I can never do Salvador’s version justice (I even had to change the pitch slightly), but I couldn’t help myself.
Go listen to the original. Trust me.
Here's the cover illustration of Astarion by @tkingfisher , a Baldur's Gate 3 novel, that I had the immense pleasure of painting for Penguin Random House and Wizards of the Coast!
Book is out on September 29th, 2026, and the audiobook will be narrated by Neil Newbon himself! (x)
Mumbled thoughts under readmore. Hope everyone is doing okay <3
I'm not sure what's happening in my head right now. I'm just... tired, I guess. Anytime there's a quiet moment, my mind turns on itself. There's so much hatred in there for how I am, how I feel, and I'm just tired of it all.
I kept telling myself it'd be okay. In time, I'd find the things I've been dreaming about. And I didn't. I found other things. Lovely, precious things. But never what I wanted, how I wanted it. And it's infuriating that I emotionally refuse to accept it and move on, like a child who didn't have her way.
Some days I just wish it'd all stop. Then the quiet moment passes, and I can breathe again. I can distract my mind with other, less daunting things. But it always comes back.
I don't know if I'll ever get where I want to be. Some ships have sailed past me many years ago, and until I learn how to let go I don't think I'll ever be alright.
I wish I could turn it off. Guess it's just a bad day right now, it'll pass. Hang in there, everyone.
Reading the new checks that might come in due to the Online Safety Act in the UK and this is actually bullshit
[Image Transcript:
And how will I prove my age?
There’s a number of methods a site or app might use to ask you to confirm your age. They might do this check themselves or use another company to do the check. These methods include:
Facial age estimation – you show your face via photo or video, and technology analyses it to estimate your age.
Open banking – you give permission for the age-check service to securely access information from your bank about whether you are over 18. The age-check service then confirms this with the site or app.
Digital identity services – these include digital identity wallets, which can securely store and share information which proves your age in a digital format.
Credit card age checks – you provide your credit card details and a payment processor checks if the card is valid. As you must be over 18 to obtain a credit card this shows you are over 18.
Email-based age estimation – you provide your email address, and technology analyses other online services where it has been used – such as banking or utility providers - to estimate your age.
Mobile network operator age checks – you give your permission for an age-check service to confirm whether or not your mobile phone number has age filters applied to it. If there are no restrictions, this confirms you are over 18.
Photo-ID matching – this is similar to a check when you show a document. For example, you upload an image of a document that shows your face and age, and an image of yourself at the same time – these are compared to confirm if the document is yours.
End Transcript.]
Not only is this such a fucking breach of privacy, but this is going to hurt adults in vulnerable and abusive situations. Some adults don’t have bank accounts or credit cards or even a fucking phone. I’m one of them. I could not give half of this information even if I wanted to. What the fuck is this. Fuck the UK government. This isn’t going to protect kids, this is just going to hurt adults, and I know full well when they say “sites that allow pornography” they’re going to be going after sites that have huge amounts of queer content, like tumblr and Ao3. Queer kids are gonna lose their fucking communities because of this shit. Abuse victims are going to lose online support systems because of this.
I’m genuinely fucked off about this, and worried about whether I’m going to lose every single one of my online friends. Anyone in the UK, please email your MP and sign this petition. It needs to reach 100k signatures to pass through Parliament.
I’m only hoping the backlash will be big enough for them to stop implementing these measures.
We want the Government to repeal the Online Safety act.
Anything we Yankees can do to voice our displeasure at this? This absolutely is violating and it's creepy. It absolutely will be used as a test run for implementing something similar here if it doesn't get loud pushback, and even before it does, we all share the same Internet, so it will, in some way, affect us even across the pond.
As far as I know, the best thing non-UK people can do is simply share the petition around, because it’s not possible for anyone outside of the UK to sign it (otherwise the petition can be deemed invalid). But definitely keep your eyes on American laws, because it’s likely they’ll attempt to implement them there too. The UK itself is basically copying what Australia has been trying to do with their under-16s ban.
If you're in the UK, please sign the petition and start calling and emailng explaining that you don't support fascist laws in your country. Because this is fascism. It's tracking and keeping lists of what people do on the internet so that vaguely written laws can be interpreted to punish people for not being the right sort of people.
If you're not in the UK, please reblog and share anywhere you can.
An illustration commemorating the 50 years of the Carnation Revolution that took place in Portugal on the 25th of April of 1974, and the woman, Celeste Caeiro, who gave the revolution its name with a simple gesture :)
The muses have granted me a little reprieve from my ongoing art block woes - and like a lot of folks here I am not immune to the charms of Baldur's Gate 3
Here's Fray and Merry, my two Tav babes. Fray is a high elf sorcerer with the durge background, and Merry is a tiefling ranger with the urchin background. I like to imagine they go through the story in the same timeline - the girls do not get along great, but through the power of my omnipotence and make believe, everyone is one big, happy family by the end. I need that sugar rush babey.
Hello lovely people. I'm afraid I don't have any new art to share, nor anything of importance to say. I'm doing well, all things considered, working towards finding my own feet and feeling alright about being me. I hope any of you reading this are getting by too. More than that, hope you're thriving however you can!
I've got a lot of noise in my head at the minute - my mind is always very dramatic about any inconveniences, but I know writing about it helps me tidy it up a bit. Will probably delete this at some point, but putting it all under a read more just to save your dashboard. Just a trigger warning, will probably mention anxiety, depression and solitude, though thankfully I'm not in a dark place right now. Just messy and uncomfortable.
I'm a lucky bastard, I really am. I've got a lot of good things in my life, things I have taken for granted (and still do, in some cases).
I'm also riddled with fear, anxiety and very nasty thoughts. I've a hard time maintaining human connections, and have basically isolated myself away from old, trusted relationships in my daily life (both by circumstance and design, i like to make things more challenging it seems) My days have become a balancing act of managing my energy/emotional levels to make sure I don't spill - and when I do, it stops everything. It's been a while since I've found emotional peace, even times and places I'm meant to feel emotionally safe in can be badly disrupted by circumstances out of my control. Because of that I'm in a constant state of exhaustion. Sadly, I'm sure most folks would agree that seems to be the norm for a lot of us.
And I'm learning to deal with it. I've found the most wonderful therapist, who works perfectly with me and my mind. We've been getting through some very important challenges lately, I can easily recognise all the progress we've made. It's wonderful, really.
But of course, there's bad days. I actually don't think I've had a good day in years. I can recall plenty of good moments, and many more wonderful moments too. But there's always something pulling me back to reality, to the notion that I still have such a long way to go, so many more fears to face. That I'll always be inclined to be anxious, to doubt myself, to feel utterly spent. I'm sure in time these happy moments will become longer, more prevalent and memorable, but it's a distant hope I cannot grasp yet.
I'm realising more and more that I've lost myself. Or maybe I've lost who I thought I was. I've realised so many things about myself these past 2 years, things I'm almost proud of, things I'm terribly ashamed of, things I desperately want to change for the better, things I just have to accept and work with. I'm trying to rewrite who I am, to become someone who I can live with a bit better. One could say trying to become a better person, but I guess that's relative.
Most days I wish I thought less. And at the same time, I feel like I don't think that much at all. I'm floating by without much thought or direction, but my mind is loud and disruptive purely by instinct? Out of fear, out of paranoia, it doesn't shut up but more often than not it's just panicked noise without substance. Just like this post, it just carries on without a clear purpose.
Guess what matters at the end of the day is that I'm still here. Unwilling and painful or distracted and content, I'm here. And so are you. Whatever the past or the future is, we're here now.
Take good care of yourselves, even when you don't feel like it. Allow yourselves to just be here. Some days that's all it takes.
8 years flew by too fast. Remake of this old post (and referenced In bed, 1892 by Toulouse-Lautrec) to try and dust off my art skills. Not sure I’m 100% pleased with it but I’m glad I stuck with it. Missed them.
[ID: Illustration of a pale grey horse with a dark smouldering head from which a great deal of smoke erupts. The smoke climbs onto a very dark stormy sky, the colors slowly blending together. The foreground is made up of lots of dried prairie grasses.]
