God I'm so envious of d's ability to fall in love like it's nothing. I know ofc that it's caused him a lot of grief, falling for the wrong people, etc etc. I can't help it. I see him starting to fall in with t and doing stuff with them and ofc r, but then also t and k apparently have been hooking up/seeing each other for At Least a month (seeing each other maybe even since December which like. The 3 of us are in a group chat, I thought we were close, I knew they'd started hanging out without me but gd), a maybe seeing bosh soon, even r and l having casual sex and I'm like damn what's wrong with me. I want to feel wanted I want to feel those butterflies from a new thing with someone! But I'm like not wired that way, I don't easily get crushes on people, I even less often actually develop feelings for people, and I don't have much interest in hookups. I think maybe I would've been fine, selfishly, if I still had his attention officially to myself. Obv he's always had crushes, he's always been overflowing with love, but ig I felt special that at the end of the day I was the only one for him, and he was the only one for me. I still really only have interest in him. But I knoww that in all likelihood he is poly by orientation and I'm generally fine with that (obviously, since we've been poly/open for like 4 or 5 years now) but sometimes I just get in my head about it. It probably wouldn't feel so bad if I could also go out there and date and have fun or if I felt like I could connect to people on a deeper level but it feels like I can't, all my relationships plateau at a certain point so I'm just on the outside looking in at all my friends getting closer and being intimate and embedding themselves in each other's lives and I have no choice but to either be okay with it or isolate myself further
pixelskylines
vaporwave
kianamaiart
titsay
izzy806
kaledo-art
