Ramblings
If you asked anyone that knew me to state my current qualities or traits, it'd include happiness. The truth is I'm not happy nor unhappy. We are living in a society starving for perfection, beauty and pure happiness. We ignore all negativity and strive or linger on any spark of happiness. We yearn for others "perfect" lives and we strive to make our lives better. I've fallen for this desire, I've faked joy and bliss, yet I can't help but revert back to my old self, to the 13 year old that was lost, alone & desperate. She didn't love to hate, or enjoy to be alone, she just wasn't blind or didn't choose to be blinded. We are taught now to believe that life is beautiful, to ignore anyone that doesn't agree or please our purpose. I completely DO urge you to seek your purpose, to do what you love. But be YOU. Realize it's really fucking OKAY to be bitter, unhappy, alone, or indifferent to whatever is popular. Do I want you to be happy? Yes. But you won't be truly happy lying to yourself, proclaiming that the sun is ALWAYS shining. It's great to see the brighter side, but it's also great to see the darkness. You'll be truly happy when you are HONEST with yourself. Break free of STANDARDS. Don't be ANYONE, but YOU. You were designed and created to be different. To be full of love, hate, passion, disgust, creativity, intelligence, fear, happiness or sadness. To this day, I begrudge the people that deserted me or were blind to my pain or despair long ago, but now I know they just didn't understand. Here is my truth. I am who I am because of the pain I went through. I am who I am because of the music I sought connection through and the deep inner self I discovered. I'm not superficial. I've fought battles on the brink of ending life. Do I believe I'm better for that? NO. I'm understanding. The happiest person hasn't had an entire run of perfect days. They've had shit happen to them, that you or I may NEVER know. Maybe, they're the happiest person because they've seen the worst and realized that there's nothing that could be worse than that moment, so saw that life thereafter was better. Live on happy, live on sad. Live on feeling full-heartedly your emotions, whatever the fuck they are. True happiness is through being and embracing your truest self, and no one else. Your acquaintances will disappear with time, your idols will change, your friends will fade, your family will dissolve. You are you, and you alone. Forever, you are you alone, together or apart, you are your best and worst critic. Feel eager to be alone and discover who you are aside from everyone else. Don't waste time, don't fear time passed as wasted. Don't ever be angry at your flawlessly flawed self. Just live in this moment, for whatever it is. Beauty is in raw moments, for life that is. Every person in this world at this very moment has wants, fears, regrets and dreams. Be your own, imperfect individual. Know, I don't know you, but I love you for your exact self, however lost or found you are. I'll see the the hate and I'll see the bliss, I'll just be with you, in whatever moment you're in. I'll want you to embrace your feelings, never end them. Discover truth, by discovering you, then live on. #flawless #truth #fuckyourstandards #truehappiness #depression #happiness #imperfection is #perfection
