sexbeforesmoking @sexbeforesmoking - Tumblr Blog

hautescouture

carmen kass and ehrinn cummings by ellen von unwerth for british vogue september 1998

workingsofmymiind

myangelsona

okawawebster

There was a boy I knew who met this girl at school, they both were adorable together they were so nervous to talk to each other but I was friends with both of them. But we hadn't all hung out together before until I asked them if they wanted to go hang out on this roof that had easy access from the alley behind the building, we met at the building and they were standing there together not talking and like twiddling they're hands together. It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen these two were just a year older than me but I was the same height as them so it didn't make much a difference. But we finally started heading up the ladder and got to the roof and we sat there and watched cars drive by and smoked cigarettes, we listened to music and just talked and they finally got to know each other and before i even knew it they were texting and talking and calling each other. I was a little sensitive bastard in school so when my friend told me him and her were talking about starting a relationship I damn near teared up cause they were cute together, and two days later they were dating and it was like a fairytale watching them talk and geek about little things one another did. Seeing them smile and look at each other the way they did made me smile, then two months into they're relationship Emma told us that she was gonna move and that next day she was taken out of school to pack and move. Me and Daniel were just a duo now Emma and Daniel talked every day on the phone he would smile when he told me about they're phone calls and nick names she would give him. Then one day Emma didn't think she could handle a long distance relationship so she asked to take a break, and Daniel never smiled after that a week later Daniel shot himself in the head alone in his room listening to clay pigeons on repeat and reading his and Emma's messages, his mom told me he always talked about me and said nice things and I hadn't met his mom at the time and that being our first interaction she told me "im sorry this has to be our first conversation but Daniel committed suicide yesterday" 4 days later, Emma sent me a message asking me to tell Daniel to reply to her messages I told her "i thought his mom would have told you" she asked me what and I told her "Daniel killed himself" I got left on read and I messaged her for nearly 30 minutes trying to comfort her, the next day her mom posted to Facebook that her daughter had succumb to mental health issues, that's love I guess

recaption

zegalba

Stephan Sinding: 'Adoration' (1903)

vintageeveryday

London, 1969. Photograph via Glen Fairweather.

braaainwaaash

evilllica

The balloon

have you ever kissed a panther?:

this woman thinks she's a panther

and sometimes when we are making love

she'll snarl and spit

and her hair comes down

and she looks out from the strands

and shows me her fangs

but I kiss her anyhow and continue to love.

have you ever kissed a panther?

have you ever seen a female panther enjoying the act of love?

you haven't loved, friend.

you with your squirrels and chipmunks

and elephants and sheep.

you ought to sleep with a panther

you'll never again want squirrels, chipmunks, elephants, sheep, fox, wolverines,

never anything but the female panther

the female panther walking across the room

the female panther walking across your soul,

all other love songs are lies

when that black smooth fur moves against you

and the sky falls down against your back,

the female panther is the dream arrived real

and there's no going back

or wanting to —

the fur up against you,

the search over

and you are locked against the eyes of a panther.

~ Charles Bukowski

#art #poetry #bukowskipoems #charles bukowski #bukowksi

sexbeforesmoking

we've got empty mouths,

open throats.

Oct '19

sexbeforesmoking

“humanity is inherently selfish and bad"

bbbrrrghuhjfkg. humanity is seeing a stranger's grocery bag break open on the sidewalk and harvesting fruits and veggies from the branch-like cracks of the asphalt for them, just because you can. humanity is helping a lost child find their mother on a crowded beach, looking for the ladybug-patterned parasol with their hummingbird-small hand in yours. it's an elder's fingers wrapped around your arm as you help them up the stairs because the elevator is broken, and feeling like you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing, like this is what you would've been doing had you been alive centuries or even millennia ago. there will always be a heavily pregnant woman who will smile at you when you give up your seat, a nice blind man in the fruit aisle who will ask you to please pick the riper plantain for him, a tired cashier whose face will light up when you compliment their tattoo sleeve.

humanity is connection.

sexbeforesmoking

I wish I was in more complete understanding of myself and my role within this wondrous world, and by that I mean I wish I was as stupid as you.

I wish I didn’t question everything and just go with it.

I wish I was so small in my understanding that I could build a model of this world, the universe and through my own comprehension, my own analysis, figure it all out.

And the point comes when I realize that there’s this dirty, filthy rapist in my mind, in my world, my society, my work that wishes to destroy, that wants to be unleashed, to fuck up their systems, tear down their trees, to corrupt those tiny boys and girls.

And I say rapist because people don’t like that being said.

They don’t mind it being done—they just mind it being said.

I want to despoil, to take away the innocence of it, because innocence disgusts me. But it’s all grotesque banality.

The empty self, this half being and every day another crack forms, another splinter breaks away and hope is gone and without feeling.

I want something in a wrapper, something in new silk panties, some old crusty piece of meat, something with the authority of a badge, or an instructional print out.

I wish I was just like you and conclude that I must be of huge importance, that I’m the center of the world: my pockets are full of change, and through this change I can enact change.

I wish I could care about all that lipstick, those things, you know those things, those things you care about and those cars and people, all that tripe. On what scale do you measure the worth of these people?