$$$

call me jack. 18+. heavy gif warning for desktop.

[sexiestmanever1]

pistolwhips‌:

Quite the handle you’ve got there. Sexiest man in his corporate space station, maybe? You get the real rugged types down here on terra firma.

come on, baby, don’t spread misinformation like that. my handle is entirely accurate, and we both know it.

[sexiestmanever1]

@pistolwhips hey girl.

[sexiestmanever1]

@icarusux THANK you. finally someone who agrees with me. i’m sick and tired of hearing, “oh but jack, don’t you realize how important accountants are to the maintenance of your company?” shut the fuck up to those idiots. 

[sexiestmanever1]

god fucking DAMN it! i hate these stupid, annoying wastes of space. why am i even PAYING them? if you’re an accountant, you really deserve all the shit coming to you.

[sexiestmanever1]

faizahs‌:

i’ll believe you when hyperion gives me that paid vacation i was promised.

if there’s nothing to miss about me, why are you always around my office?

[sexiestmanever1]

faizahs‌:

i’m certain i can. unless you’re fine with losing your best programmer.

oh come on, honey, don’t be like that. be honest with yourself. you’d miss me if you left, and nowhere else has perks like hyperion.

[sexiestmanever1]

faizahs‌:

can’t do what, sir? i’m simply negotiating.

yeah, negotiating. i’m your boss, you can’t NEGOTIATE with me.

[sexiestmanever1]

aw, fucking come on. i was trying to think of a fitting first post to kick off the blog, and faizah had to come around and RUIN it. 

[sexiestmanever1]

faizahs‌:

your morning bedhead says otherwise, sir.

hey, now wait a minute. i’m pretty sure that somewhere in your employment contract, there’s a clause or two about how you can’t do this.