Let's Talk About Sex!

Some people REALLY enjoy having sex; some people don't want to have sex at all - and that's all okay! A blog dedicated to demystifying sex talk and with a goal to be as inclusive as possible in the normalization of talking about all things sex. We are sex worker positive, as well as trans inclusive. The mods here are both intersectional feminists, and will be posting about a variety of topics, not all related to sex. Visit our "about us" tag for more information on who we are, and what this blog is about. We welcome submissions as well as any questions related to anything - not just sex! We are here to offer as much help in anything to the best of our ability, and if we are unable, we will do our best to guide you in the right direction. Note: Hover over "Links" for more links to guide you! There you'll find our about us, commonly used tags, about our Thursdays here, recommended blogs, and more!

[sexquestionshotline]

How long does sex generally last? Like if you're having sex with your partner, how long is it on average?

It depends on the people having sex. I know this isn’t the answer you are looking for, but I’ve had sex in a couple minutes or in a couple hours. It also depends on what you’re including in your idea of sex. All in all, I wouldn’t worry too much about how long sex should last as long as you and your partner(s) are having fun and everyone is satisfied. 

[sexquestionshotline]

What age is normal for girls to start masturbating?

Whenever a girl feels ready to start masturbating. There is no right or wrong or “normal” time to start masturbating. I just recommend being in the comfort of your home or somewhere with privacy because interruptions are no fun. If you feel ready, explore your body! 

[weavemama]

reblog if u have more followers than milo yiannopoulos’s book sales

[sexquestionshotline]

The time the photographer saw us

This could have been a REALLY bad story, but it ended up just being funny. Basically, I had just gotten birth control (it was effective right away don’t worry!) So my partner and I decided to do something adventurous (but not with the intention of getting caught). We hiked about 30 minutes out on a not superbpopular trail, until we came to a pretty fence overlooking a river gorge. We stripped real quick, all giggly from fucking where we could get caught. Neither of us considered what we would do if someone did come by.

All is good times and pleasure, until I feel something wet on my foot. I look down and see two dogs, attached to a leash being held by a photographer walking along the trail. He makes eye contact with me, says “nice day for it” and keeps walking. My partner and I had both finished right as he was walking up, so we frantically got dressed and ran back the way we came along the trail. Now whenever we talk about public sex fantasies, one of us will turn to the other and say “nice day for it” and we’ll both break out laughing!

[sexquestionshotline]

This was the chosen story from the submissions as the winner for the vibe <3 thank you so much everyone for sharing! 2

[sexquestionshotline]

While @spontaneousxlover is also right, sometimes doctors do feel vaginal exams are needed for some young adults (although I would debate the ethics of performing one on a person not old enough to even consent to sex) it would still never be ok for your mom or anyone else to try and make you have one, regardless of if it's recommend or not. A vaginal exam done with force or coercion is legally and ethically rape at worst and violates your right to informed consent at best.

@ the last post 

thanks for the input, anon :)

[mikaeled]

Jessica Chastain on the importance of Planned Parenthood

[plannedparenthood]

What are the chances of getting an STD if you have unprotected sex?

Someone asked us:

What are your chances of getting an STD if you have unprotected sex? (Like, percentage-wise).

People often want to know, in exact numbers, how likely they are to get a certain STD. But these numbers are impossible to nail down. There can be a lot of variables, like: what kind of sexual things you’re doing; what kinds of protection you are or aren’t using; whether your partner(s) has an STD or has been tested recently; how many partners you have; and the fact that there are many different STDs that are spread in different ways.

Even if we could say you have an X% of getting Y infection if you do Z sex act, there’s no way to know which side of the statistic you’ll fall on. You could do something really risky and luck out and dodge the STD bullet. Or you could be suuuuuper careful and still end up with an infection. But that DOESN’T mean that it’s not worth trying to avoid STDs. Even though having safer sex can’t totally eliminate the risk of STDs, it really lowers your chances.

I’ma use driving as a metaphor here. Every time you drive, there’s a risk you might have an accident. And every time you have sex, there’s a risk you could get an STD. The only way to be 100% sure you won’t get in a car accident is to never get in a car. And the only way to be 100% sure you won’t get an STD is to never have sexual contact with another person.

Having safer sex is kind of like using seatbelts: it’s one of the best ways to avoid serious injuries if you do have an accident, but there are no guarantees. Even though people wearing seatbelts sometimes get hurt, it’s still a good idea to use them because they lower your chances of getting seriously injured and keep people safer overall. Same with condoms and dental dams: they can’t prevent every single infection, but they’re still one of the best ways to avoid STDs if you do have sex.

TL;DR: there’s no way to know your exact risk of getting an STD. But what we DO know is that the best way to lower your chances of getting an STD if you have sex is to have safer sex (hello condoms and dental dams) and make sure you and your partners get tested for STDs regularly.

-Kendall at Planned Parenthood

[positivedoodles]

[Drawing of a pink and purple dragon saying “I hope you get all the awesome things you want in life because you deserve them. You deserve the best.” in a pink speech bubble.]

[sexetc]

Is it true that the week before you start your period you excreted more clear stuff from your vagina?

Hi amazingly-diffrent-blog,

Thanks for your question. The small amount of fluid that is released every day from a vagina is called vaginal discharge. On a typical day, its purpose is to clean the vagina. 

The color, consistency and amount of discharge that is released from the vagina released can vary throughout the month. When someone is getting close to ovulation, the discharge will be thin and stringy, almost like an egg white; other days it may be cloudy or yellowish. If the discharge is ever greenish or greyish or has a foul or musty smell, it may mean that you has an infection and she should make an appointment with a healthcare provider right away.

I hope this helps.

[a-real-feminist]

[thelatestkate]

you’re worth the fight

[cheyannedraws]

Happy Women’s Day! Here’s some body positivity for my fellow lady-identifying individuals. A quick little doodle in a style inspired by @littlefroggies and @gunkiss. Vastly different from my normal paint-y thing, but fun. Your body is beautiful. <3

Don’t Judge My Pudge!

[niki-smith]

Another five page kinky comic I drew last year! This one’s about getting started with wax play. Be safe and have fun!

[sexquestionshotline]

Favorite sex story

So this one time, I was at my Dom's play studio. It was summer, and it's an old house so it gets hot. He had a fan on a chair in the doorway to the room we were in as we were having sex. He decided he wanted to go get a toy/tool from the other room, so he got up and left to go get it. As he went through the door, I heard this fast THUMP THUMP THUMP. He didn't seem to react to it, so I didn't say anything until he came back. When I asked what the sound was, he said his cock had gotten INTO THE FAN and got hit by the blades!! But he just checked the condom for damage and got right back to fucking me silly. To this day I can't help but laugh when I think about his indestructible cock. XD

[sexquestionshotline]

For the pap smear Anon... If you're under the age of 21 you do not need a pap smear, and if you are not sexually active you do not need a pap smear, and your mother should know this. It seems like your mother is not giving you a choice here either? And no ethical doctor would give an underaged girl a pap smear she doesn't need or want. What they are trying to force you into a medical exam not for your benefit but rather for theirs and this is attempted sexual assault.

@ anon regarding the pap smear 

forgive my lack of knowledge on the topic

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

Almost everybody must have already watched the video police has released of Philando Castile’s legal lynching. Cop , who murdered him was acquitted despite the fact that the video clearly shows us Philando telling the officer he has a gun in his car and that he’s a legal gun owner. This is ridiculous how our justice system fails black people and how one particular group of people chooses to remain silent once a black person gets killed for legally carrying a gun.

Source

[sexquestionshotline]

I'm very inexperienced when it come to most things sexual with guys. I'm scared to give a blow job because I have a bad gag reflex and don't wanna you know throw up on his dick (lol). Do you have any tips on making it easier? thank uuuuu in advance:)

I know your question was asked a while ago, we apologize for the delay! 

When it comes to the gag reflex, it will take a bit for you to get used to - you have something going in your mouth that’s never been there before. Go slowly, communicate with your partner when it’s feeling like it’s too much, take breathing breaks, and mostly just go about it at your own pace! A lot of folks I’ve been with have enjoyed gagging me with their dick, tho, tbh. If it’s not something you’re into, then it’s a no go, but if you enjoy it - as i do as well - then all the better! 

here’s some other oral tips from a post we made a while back: 

Explore your partner’s body. Discuss with them beforehand if it’s something that they like (not everyone enjoys oral) and ensure that its something that you’re comfortable with as well. From there, it is just a matter of exploration.

Have them guide your head with their hand/hands. I usually will say with a new sexual partner “show me what you like”. If you are unsure of what they like, and how they want you to move, let them guide your head. Get a feel for what feels good by being in tune with their body movements, their noises, whatever it is that your partner does that shows they’re enjoying what is happening.

I’ve heard some people talk about their partners using teeth, and how they were too caught up in the moment to mention the discomfort. I recommend doing your best to avoid teeth.

With saliva, lubricate their penis, and (as you mention a bad gag reflex) perform it in the best way that you feel comfortable. I’ve straight up spit before, but that was just me in the moment and what we were both okay with. Do what works for you.

Lick the sides of the penis, as well as focus on the tip. And with that:

Variations: Take a break for a moment from sucking to stroke their penis. Stroke it while you are sucking or licking the tip. Go slow at times, and speed up at times. Again, though, it all depends on what your partner likes. Not everyone with a penis likes it the same way!

Be comfortable and confident! A bad reflex does not equate being bad at performing oral. You can perform oral without having a whole penis in your mouth. It can involve licking, etc. I’m sure you’ll do great!

And something I was unsure of myself the first few times: the ever present “spit or swallow”. Think about it beforehand. Every person’s semen tastes differently, and the first (and only) time I swallowed it was terrible (but that’s just me). I either have spit, but honestly most of the time its either not the end of the sexual experience, or they cum in other places. Spit or swallow is not the end game, and that’s okay.