flippy/end/mal!!!
she / star / toon . minor . i change fandoms every five weeks .
art tag / text tag / blog list
slightly ext. info abt me under the cut, more can be read in my carrd

Janaina Medeiros
Not today Justin

#extradirty
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
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oozey mess

PR's Tumblrdome
Three Goblin Art
DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

No title available

JVL

@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
Today's Document
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from North Macedonia

seen from Romania
seen from North Macedonia

seen from United States
seen from Algeria
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from North Macedonia

seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from North Macedonia
seen from United States
@ruinationz
flippy/end/mal!!!
she / star / toon . minor . i change fandoms every five weeks .
art tag / text tag / blog list
slightly ext. info abt me under the cut, more can be read in my carrd
and so it is, eclipsing all that you were .
such impossible bliss
my two moods watching best friend play fdc emio while knowing exactly what happens next
this man ^ has been consistently ragebaiting him so far
my two moods watching best friend play fdc emio while knowing exactly what happens next
i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.
i wrote this 7 years ago, somehow. every day someone else finds it and whispers to me - oh, i understand this. something always turns in the wash of my stomach: i am so, so glad you feel seen. i wish you had no idea what this post was about.
i wrote this while working in a program for new writers. on wednesdays, two of the teachers would be contractually obligated to read our writing aloud to the group of 300+ teens. i had never read my work in public before. i had something like 6k poems and was panicking about it. none of them are good enough. sometimes the train is howling. it is hard, actually, sometimes, even as an adult.
and then i thought - what is one thing i wish i could tell all of them. each of these 300 kids. what did i need to hear, at 16?
i wanted to tell them about the day you wake up, and the sun feels warm finally. i wanted to tell them about carving a life out of soapstone, your hands turning bloody. i wanted to tell them that sometimes yes - it actually does feel easy. i wanted to tell them about weddings and cookie dough and long road trips. about albums of new music and old friends laughing and the sound of snow falling.
you will learn the pattern of the train. you will learn to close your eyes when you hear the engine rumbling. you will learn to let yourself have the grey days in their lily-soft numbness. sometimes it will feel like life is wet paint, and god has smeared your canvas across a sewer grate. sometimes it will be so boring it isn’t even pronounceable - the tenacious, soundless blankness. survival isn’t just ugly nights and wild mornings. it is also the steady, unimportant moments. it is just driving with your seatbelt on. it is calling a friend on the way home. it is burying your face into the fur of your dog.
when i had finished reading this poem aloud, the auditorium was silent for a solid minute. someone stood up to take a picture of where it had been projected onto a screen, and then three more people followed the action, and then - like a bad internet story, people remembered they were supposed to be clapping. kids came up to me after it - thank you for writing that. i think i hear a train coming.
i would write this differently now, i think, but it has been 7 years. i still live by the tracks. i also haven’t picked up a blade in over 10 years. the scars are still there, but these days i only pick up scissors to cut my hair. i know why you can’t tell your mom about it. i know how the numbness slips over everything, a restless horrible cotton. i know how when you dropped the dish, you weren’t crying about the broken glass. i know about feeling like all the roads have closed their exits, that you aren’t supposed to still-be-here - and yet.
i am still here, and still yours, and i haven’t forgotten. what i’m saying is if any hope is calling to you - i know it’s hard, but you have to listen. i’m saying keep driving, but slow down the car. sit down in the shower, i’m not judging you. we can stay in the dark with the good hot water and do nothing but stare. notice the stab wound. make it through another tuesday.
i know what it is like to miss yourself. do what you need to. come home to me. i am writing to you, my past self, from the future. i’ll be waiting for you.
and when the train is coming - please move.
Disabled Transfem Needs Help
I'm too disabled to work and, while I have a disability claim, the US government has been putting it off and delaying things and making my life hell for over 5 years at this point trying to get it.
Unfortunately that means I have to beg for money to get by. My partner covers most of the bills but she can only stretch so far. I need about $250 per month to pay the rest on time.
If you can help out or share this, it would really help me a lot, even small amounts.
https://paypal.me/ActuallyRoseLalonde
venmo: PeridotRose
25/250!
Thank you!!!
currently throwing up blood (trying to write a oneshot after a year of not doing so)
this ao3 shit easy.
currently throwing up blood (trying to write a oneshot after a year of not doing so)
sona redesign this time no proper ref. i changed up the outfit a little and she can smell now ig
Telling someone 'no' when you have a boundary is actually doing them a huge favor. Cool people will love you for this. People who are angry or weird about this are not worth caring about at all, and they are the ones being rude to YOU no matter what anyone says.
it's still June 1st here . Happy pie
I don't think I posted my newest sona redesign here wait
tomorrow . Trust kinda
it's still June 1st here . Happy pie
=FORGET=
daffodil