Welcome to Sexy Sexy Universities, or SSU, where we ship personifications of schools, colleges and universities, worship butts inside a library and let out all our feels by singing in the middle of a golf course while punching the ground as an homage to our Patron Saint of Feels, Zac Efron. BITCHES BE CRAZY Disclaimer: This blog is predominantly NSFW and will contain a lot of slash, femslash and what-have-you. Tread at your own risk, motherfucker. This blog is just for FUN and is in no way meant to insult anyone. I mean, look at our icon, it's got all the colors of the Big 4; s'all 'bout unity, bro. You need to get a life if you're gonna take this shit too seriously.
AU-ish TomxPhil, because I wrote this for a class and changed up the characters a tiny bit.
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You sat there, waiting at the bar, absent-mindedly wiping beads of moisture off of the side of your glass. The bursts of laughter, the thumping sounds of shot glasses being slammed down on a table, all the sounds of regular, happy people were all elsewhere. You only sit there in quiet contemplation, running your fingers through your dark blonde hair, wondering when Francis was going to arrive.
It was here, at this very bar, where you two met. Laughing, grinning, Tom Santos, that was you, sitting amongst friends who had just finished finals and were celebrating. You kept glancing at the next table, at a bunch of noisy Ateneans who were teasing one of their friends.
The man only laughed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is that what we’re calling people from Ateneo now? Last time I checked, I’ve been with you guys, and not with the activists over at UP.”
One of your friends noticed how distracted you were and glanced at the group beside them as well. He nudged your side, smiled and muttered, “Hey, Uste, looks like you’re not the only one.”
You grinned, playfully shoving your friend. “Shut up, man. Don’t bring that whole ‘university nickname’ thing up again. That died down years ago.”
In spite of that jab, you kept glancing over at the bespectacled man in the maroon shirt anyway. After a while, he stood up to order more drinks at the bar. By now, the whole table had noticed your behavior and picked up on what they had already assumed to be your little crush on the Atenean from the other table, and had started egging you on to go and talk to him.
“He’s at the bar! Now’s your chance.”
“Come on, Tom!”
“Go na!”
You smiled faintly, took a gulp of your drink, and stood up. Weaving through the tables and people, you finally arrived, standing just behind the guy who’s been such a distraction. You push your way into the space beside him, all too aware of how the crowd was pressing you together. Determined to at least talk to him, you clear your throat a little.
“Hey.”
“H-hi,” he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.
“So, uh, you come here often?” What. You mentally slap your forehead.
He grinned, visibly relaxing. “Really? You’re gonna use that line on me?”
Minutes pass, and you stumble back to your table, subconsciously noting down and mentally filing away everything you noticed about Francisco Cruz. The way he makes random gestures while talking, the almost exaggerated look of his shrugs, his smile, that almost intoxicating scent of his cologne…
“So, snagged yourself another one?” your friend’s voice snaps you back. You wave a dismissive hand. “He seemed like a cool guy.”
“Ooh, Tom’s got himself his first man-crush!”
You feel a slight warmth creeping up your neck and cheeks as you guiltily glance over at the next table again. Francis was smiling and peering over the edge of his glasses vaguely in your direction.
Crap, they’re right. …No, maybe he’s just smiling at some chick behind me or something.
You throw a quick look behind you and see a plain mirror mounted on the wall. Francis had already looked away, but you find yourself beginning to study his features through the mirror.
It all happened so fast. Anticipating his arrival with his friends every week at that same bar, striking up casual conversation, and being incorporated in their group if your friends weren’t there with you. All of it did nothing but make you fall even faster for Francis, against your will. It’s not right. It’s not …Christian. Being with Francis made you so happy, but once you were alone, everything felt so wrong.
You shake your head slightly, bring yourself back to the present. Present day Tom who was in a relationship with Francis already. There were days like this, ones where you wake up, and the first thing you feel is that little nagging, jabbing feeling of just plain wrong. So you go back to the place where everything happened, focusing on remembering why this isn’t supposed to be wrong, focusing on those days you sat here, drinking to forget how wrong you feel. Of course, Francis would find you, stop you, and at some point during the day would be another one of those conversations where he would reassure you that everything is all right.
Apparently, not today. You knew he had classes today, and that he wouldn’t be able to stop you this time. So when he stood up from a booth in a corner with a girl, you just froze and turned away, trying to hide yourself as much as you can. You heard his laugh as you maneuvered your way out of the bar, avoiding the two completely.
You head back home, thoughts of Francis cheating on you whirling in your mind. He can’t be doing that this soon. You haven’t been together for an entire year yet, and he’s already tired of you? Your phone beeped. A message from him.
“Classes just ended, you wanna meet up before I head home?”
Lies.
You take a deep breath and decide right then and there to just nip it in the bud immediately.
“Sure. Not at the bar though, I just came from there. Maybe at the park? It’s close enough anyway.”
So you change directions and start walking toward a nearby park, quiet and still in the early evening, when all the little kids have already gone home. A slight chill was already setting in by the time you brush off fallen leaves from a bench and settle in to wait for Francis. Not too long after, you see him walking up toward you, smiling. As soon as he sat next to you, the flowery scent of a woman’s perfume wafts over on the slight breeze. You stiffen, clenching your hand into a fist at your side, trying hard not to burst with accusations.
“Hey… Tom, you okay?” He made to reach for your hand, but you cross your arms, acting like you’re just trying to warm yourself.
“How’d your classes go?” Total avoidance.
“Eh, fine, I guess? Why won’t you answer me? I just want to know if you’re okay.”
“…Didn’t you realize what I said a while ago?”
“About what?”
“I was at the bar. A while ago.”
“Were you drinking again? Tom, I told you, you can just talk to me if you—“
“You were there.”
Silence. Francis paused, and looked away. You look down at your hands on your lap and gently run your fingertips over the faint lines on your wrists. He’s never really asked about those. You wonder if he was trying to be sensitive, or if he even cared at all.
“You lied to me.”
More silence. You glanced at him, and he had his face buried in his hands. Another breeze passed, tousling Francis’ hair, bringing that flowery scent toward you again, making you feel a little sick. It was bad enough that your stomach was already turning from all these things you were feeling.
The silence was beginning to become overwhelming. The lack of an answer did nothing but make you feel even less sure of yourself. You were beginning to feel that trusting Francis was a mistake. The guilt began to gnaw at you again, doubt was creeping back.
You couldn’t wait forever, and the cold certainly wasn’t helping. Finally, Francis looked up from his hands and sighed deeply, looking straight ahead, not even toward you. Another long pause, and you’ve had enough. You stand up and start walking away.
So for Mia’s school event, I’ll be going as an archer since it’s a mmorpg class and the theme is games…. Actually I might not even be following the theme at all. Screw the system hahaha. //Hopingthey’dstilletmeinwiththese
Posted this both on my tumblr and here as well~! I guess it's very obvious now what uni I cosplay already (◡‿◡✿)
*: ･ﾟ✧ Admin Cessie *: ･ﾟ✧
Thomas ran as fast as he could. He couldn’t afford to let him leave without them both saying their actual goodbyes. He already checked their secret place, the library, the museum, and everywhere else he could think of. He finally found the person he had been looking for right beside the Arch of the Centuries.
“I promise I will and I won’t forget you at all, Tom.”
Dylan looked at his lover one last time and slowly his hand slipped away. He started walking away again and in a few moments he was gone. Thomas could only look at his hand and clench it close. Tears that he had been fighting back rolled down for he could no longer keep them in.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
‘But you did forget….’
Thomas stared at the arch in front of him. It had been 10 years ever since he and the one he loved parted at that very place. All was left that day was a broken heart and the ring he had given Ryan. It was a ring that now signified their now dissolved love.
-----NOTE------
As promised I submitted a fic~ <3
Admin Cessie
Testing out my new art style, so I drew First-Year-First-Sem!UP, Dressed-down!CSB, and Hell Week!ADMU.
Headcanons involved:
UP was a "fresh-looking" freshie who looked so gentle and innocent. Then second sem came around.
When CSB is dressed down, SHe uses her normal hair, which I like to think is a bit shaggy and long, but still gorgeous. SHe's such a natural beauty.
ADMU is part-model, so during Hell Week, he sucks the remaining life out of his students to make him look more mysterious-frustrated-hipster-dream-boy and less I-am-an-academic-zombie-android-person.
“A long time ago. It’s a long story.” Before Salle could even think of the right words to throw, his lips met involuntarily against his companion’s. It was awkward yet felt so beautiful to him to have a tingling feeling creep upon his entire body as the sweet smell of what he prophesizes to be ‘love’ wrap itself around him.
“Indifferent, you say?” Salle smirked as he parted his lips from his friend. His eyes met the other with a different feel to it.
“What was that for? I’m confused.” Said the other. “Salle, I’ve no time for these games of yours. I told you before; I don’t want to stay where I am right now.”
It all seemed so hopeless. Sale held his companion’s hand and thought that nothing will matter at this specific moment in time for he is already with the one who makes him lose all focus. It all seemed impossible to be able to gently claim what he wanted. Here it was, right in front of him—was the only thing he’d ever want, only to see it wanting to run away.
Without any moment to waste, the silence slowed down the changing drop of time as Salle carefully and quietly made his way to wrap his hand around his friend’s. “There is no more room for escape.” Salle thought. For he had the hand he wanted to touch trapped in his. He looked towards his right (where his companion was), and saw those blue sparkling gems that complemented the colors of the starry night. Although not the most beautiful scene, his heart raced in mixed emotions that exhilarated him. With much a surprise to arrive, that pale skin of the person at the right had tones similar to a true ‘Belle’; a small flush of red across the cheeks with such an intriguing face that grabbed the young man’s attention.
“You look beautiful.”
“You don’t even know me.” His friend smiled. “Why did you want me to see you for the night?”
“I just wanted to see you.” Salle politely answered as he sat down by the grass, inviting his friend to sit beside him. “I know you like a beautiful starry night. I can’t really give you a lot, but here’s something for you. I mayn’t control the arrangement of extraterrestrial or natural things, but it was very lucky for me to actually see ahead of time that the night was going to be this lively.”
With a few giggles in-between words and phrases, his friend leaned that lightweight head gently on his shoulder, exactly like how he planned.
“I have something to tell you”
“What is it, Salle?”
“I… I lo—" Without having the chance to gasp for air to continue, Salle met the lips of his friend. It was no longer him who made the move, but the favor was returned. The kiss ended much faster than the first time he felt it. He knew that something was wrong.
“I know, and I’m touched. Truly, I am. Albeit confused, I love you too, but I can’t.”
“You make everything impossible.”
“And that’s why I love you.” He said, immediately confusing Salle.
“Why can’t you? Didn’t you tell me you love me? Stop confusing me with your words.” The lad was confused, but he could not contain himself. He had this immense feeling of exhilaration running through him. His heart was pounding; his breathing was beyond indescribable by his puzzled mind. The feeling that he was experiencing delighted him. That piece of heaven was slowly touching his lips and hand.
“I cannot let myself to let you go away from my sight.” He continued. His companion looked at his eyes with such a beautiful expression plastered all over that face in which Salle wanted to lock his eyes to.
“I’m no woman whom you can love, Salle. I cannot complete your dreams, nor can I love you like a real one. Even so, I still love you, Salle. Good-bye. I love you.”
With that said, Salle loosened his grip upon his supposed ‘lover’. Off goes his lover-to-be, upon breaking that intimate holding of hands.
“I love you, Neo, and so I’ll set you free. When can I see you again?”
“Eventually. Good-bye.” Neo whispered as he bid Salle one last kiss, preparing to leave, to disappear from his beloved’s life once and for all…
It was so close, but so far away. Sadly, all that Salle could do was to watch everything he had planned fall down to pieces. The consolation seemed little, but worth it. The fight was an automatic loss, but he still won somehow. Without anything to do anymore, he stood up and went to the same direction as Neo’s, and walked straight ahead… His mind all tangled up to the love of his companion.
Best if you've read all of the previous Dokument Chapters before reading this.
Eto na. Lakas ng loob lang, Tomas. Kaya mo ‘to.
Ako’y napabuntong-hininga. Hindi sa takot, hindi sa pagod pero dahil ako’y sabik na sabik. Sa paglabas ng mga kapwa-estudyante ko sa silid-aralan ay tila ako’y lalong napapasaya. Kinuha ko ang aking bag.
Ngayon ay dapat wala akong dahilan para makaramdam ng kahit anong uri ng pighati. Ito ang araw para magsaya’t magdiwa. Ang ngiti mo, sa wakas, ay makikita ko muli.
Naglakad ako palabas sa aking unibersidad at sumakay ng dyip papunta sa LRT station.
“Sa Katipunan Station, ho.” Wika ko sa ‘teller’, sabay sa pagbigay ko ng aking bayad. Tiningnan niya ako ng mabuti gamit ng kanyang mga matang halos walang ka-kulay-kulay at sigla. Sabay ng kanyang buntong-hininga ay kinuha ang aking bayad at walang-ganang ibinigay ang maaari kong tawaging “tiket” na aking kakailanganin sa pagsakay ng LRT.
Wala na ba akong nakalimutan?... Narito ang pag-ibig. Nasa puso ang mga salitang ihahain para sa kanya. Sa pagkapa sa aking bulsa, naroon ang ebidensya; sa aking braso, nakahiga ang tamis. Ang sobre’y narito sa tamis, at ang tunay na mensahe ay nasa ebidensya. Perpekto na ang lahat, ang kulang nalang ay siya.
Halos wala na ‘kong paki sa mga taong nakapaligid sa’kin. Paminsan-minsan ay mahuhuli ng aking mga mata ang kanilang mga mukha na nakatitig sa akin. Ang mga mata nila ay dahan-dahang tinititigan ang aking katawan—kung ano ang suot ko at sa aking mga dala. Lalo na ang mukha kong halos natutuyuan na ng pawis sa oras na ito. Hindi ko na sila bingyan ng pansin.
Lumipas ang ilang sandali nang huminto ang tren sa Katipunan Station. Bumukas ang mga pintuan nito at dumeretso na ko palabas ng estasyon.
Ito pala ang tinatawag na Aurora Boulevard. Marami-rami rin pala ang dumadaang dyip dito; mabilis, maingay, at mausok.
“Kuya, pahinge naman po ng onting barya… Kahit kaunti lang…” Wika ng isang dukhang mama na nakaupo sa isang sulok sa tabi ng isang ekwelahang may pangalan na “St. Bridget School”.
“Ah! Sandali lang po, Kuya.” Sagot ko sa kanya. Huminto ako sa harap niya at hinalukot ang aking shoulder bag para makuha ang aking pitaka. Binuklat ko ito at kumuha ng bente pesos. Iniabot ko ito sa kanya nang may ngiting kasabay.
“M-Maraming salamat, iho.” Bigkas niya habang nakangiti.
“Walang anuman po, kuya. Pasensya na’t ‘yan lang ang mabibigay ko sa ngayon.” Ang sagot ko. Ngumiti ulit ako sa kanya lalo nang nakita ko ang liwanag at kay gandang kulay sa kanyang mga mata na punung-puno ng ligaya. Ni hindi ko man napansin ang magulo niyang buhok na tumatakip sa iilang detalye ng kanyang mukha dahil sa kanyang ngiti na galling sa puso. Gumaan ang aking pakiramdam. Kay sarap talaga makakita ng ngumingiting dukha dahil natulungan mo siya.
Di nagtagal nang makakita ako ng dyip na dumadaan sa pinakasikat na Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Nilakad ko ito agad at sumakay. Dili hindi ito agad umandar dahil nais pang papunuin ng tsuper ang dyip. At nang mapuno na ito ng mga pasahero, sumakay na ang nasabing tsuper at nagsimulang magmaneho.
Nagulat ako sa daloy ng trapiko. Sa pagkaalam ko, ang pangkaraniwang reputasyon ng Katipunan Avenue ay ang mabibigat nitong trapiko. Siguro nga naman na tunay akong sineswerte ngayon dahil sa mabilis at deretsong takbo ng dyip. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay nakarating na agad ang dyip sa Unibersidad.
Agad-agad akong bumaba kasabay ng mga iilang “Iskolar ng Bayan” na nakasabay ko. Isa-isa silang naglakad papunta sa kanilang mga pupuntahan.
Kinuha ko ang aking cellphone at agad-agad na binuksan ang messages.
“Phil! Guess who’s here in UP? Hehe. Maghihintay ako sa Sunken Garden. May dala rin akong sorpresa para sa’yo! Hehe. :)
-Tomas”
Sa pagdating ko sa Sunken Garden, tunay akong napangiti sa sigla ng mga tao rito. Tumuloy ako at naghanap ng uupuan. Pagtingin ko sa may puno ng mangga ay nakakita ako ng maaaring paghintayan. Tutal, kaming dalawa ni Phil ay lumaki sa probinsya kung saan ang mga puno ng mangga ay laging pinupuntahan at ginagawang tambayan.
Sa lahat ng aming mga alaala ni Phil ay tiyak na nariyan ang puno ng mangga. Ni hindi yan nawala sa kahit anong eksena sa aming buhay bilang magkakaibigan.
Oo… Natatandaan ko lahat ng mga pangyayaring iyon. Noon bata palang kami ay halos parang pinagdugtong na ng tadhana ang aming mga landas. Sa kasimulaan palang ng aming mga araw sa mababang paaralan ay naging magkaklase na kami. Lalo na noong kami’y magtatapos na sa ika-anim na baitang. Ang matatag na ebidensya ng aming pagkakaibigan ay nagsimula sa maaaring sabihin ay isang munting laro lamang. Sa pagtatapos namin ay doon kami nagsimula nang mangarap na sana’y tuluyang lumago ang aming pagkakaibigan.
Sa pagtungtong naming sa hayskul ay tunay na nagkatoto ang aming pangarap. Dito ko lang din naramdaman at naunawaan ang totoong kahulugan at kahalagahan ng “pagkakaibigan”; na ito’y tunay na nagpapaganda sa mga araw at gabi. Miski ang pinakamadidilim at pinakamalalakas na unos ay di sapat para sirain at tuluyang ilunod ito sa kanyang mga tubig.
Alas singko y media na… Nasaan na si Phil…?
Dalawang oras na pala akong naghihintay kay Phil… Bumigat ang aking dibdib. Hindi siya ganito. Kaya tagal ko na siyang kilala at alam kong hindi siya ang tipong nang-iiwan o nagpapahintay. Kinuha ko muli ang aking cellphone pata tingnan kung mayroon akong natanggap na mensahe galling sa kanya.
Pero wala…
Nagsimula na kong magduda. Ayaw ba ‘kong pansinin ni Phil? Hindi na ba niya ‘ko natandaan o nakilala man? Ako’y yumuko at hinawakan ang aking krusipiya.
Panginoon ko… Nasaan na po ang aking matalik na kaibigan? Sana po ay walang mangyaring masama sa kanya. ‘Wag niyo po siya ilagay sa daan ng kapahamakan. Nagmamakaawa po ako sa’Yo, Panginoon ko… Dalhin niyo po ako sa kanya…
Paunti-unti ay nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa. Hindi naman sa napapagod na ‘ko sa paghihintay pero… Nakakapanakit sa damdamin ang ginagawa ni Phil sa aking ngayon…
Itinaas ko ang ulo ko pagkatapos magdasal. Tiningnan ko ang aking paligiran, umaasa para Makita si Phil…
Sa aking sorpresa’y nakakita ako ng isang binata na naka-kamisetang kulay marun.
Ang kanyang likod ay buhok ay walang dudang kay Phil.
Agad-agad akong tumayo ay binuhat ang aking mga gamit. Naglakad ako mabilisan para habulin siya.
May katabi siyang binatang naka-asul… B-bakit mo hawak… Ang… Kanyang kamay…? A-ano ‘to…?
Bigla akong namanhid… Parang huminto ang lahat. Nabitawan ako ang aking mga dala malipan sa aking bag sa suot ko. Lumingon ang binatang naka-marun at ang kanyang katabing naka-asul.
Si Phil nga ito…
Tiningnan ko ang mga mata ni Phil na nakatitig sa aking mga mata. Gusto kong umiyak, umalis, maglaho! Ang nararamdaman ko ay higit pa sa mararamdaman ng isang tao na may pusong durug-durog at sawi. Masyadong masakit ang nararamdaman ko… Sobrang lalim ng sugat na umabot sa puntong ‘di ko na maramdaman. Sapilitan akong ngumiti.
“Phil… Ah… Ni hindi mo man sinabi sa’kin na may kasintahan ka na. Ha… Ha… Sige, mauna na ‘ko. Pasensya na kung ako’y nakadistorbo… Paalam, Phil…”
“H-Ha!? T-Tomas! Sandali lang!! Tomas!”
Miski ilang beses ka sumigaw, mahal ko, ay ‘di ko na kayang lumiko muli. Isang tingin lang sa iyon mga mata ay baka lalo lang ako masawi. Hindi ko na kayang masaktan nang magmuli. Patawarin mo sana ako, Phil. Minsan ay mas nararapat pala na ‘di natin pinangako sa isa’t isa ang pagkakaroon ng pagkakaibigang lalago ng lubos.
Dere-deretso lang ang paglalakad ko. Ni hindi ko maiwasan ang tuluy-tuluyang pagguho ng aking mga luha sa aking mga mata. Gusto ko siyang makausap. Gusto ko siyang mayakap…Hindi ko man lang naibigay sa kanya ang dala kong bulaklak sa aking braso at ang singsing naming noong kami’y nasa mababang paaralan pa… Ni hindi ko man nasabi sa kanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman para sa kanya…
O, Maginoong tadhana. Bakit mo kami pinaglaruan ng aking kaibigan? Hindi ito nararapat! Tunay na wala kang kabaitang ipinakita sa’min! O, Maginoong tadhana, kami ba’y nagpapaaliw sa’yo? Sa akala kong isang magandang istorya ay wala—kung ‘di isang alamat nalang.
This is a continuation of Phil's Dokument (Doku's 1-3). In the next succeeding chapters/part "Dokument", Tomas will be the one who's narrating.
Best if you've read the previous Dokument Chapters.
Sa wakas. Wala na ko masyadong kailangang asikasuhin ngayong linggong ito. Kakatapos lang ng prelims naming at, malamang ninanais kong magpahinga muna’t dumalo kay Phil. Matagal-tagal nang panahon ang lumipas simula ng aming paghihiwalayan na nangyari sa araw ng aming pagtatapos sa hayskul. Siguradong sigurado ako na hustong maliligayahan siya sa aking pagdalo sa kanya.
Ito na rin ang pagkakataon upang masabi ko sa kanya ang aking nararamdaman...
Ako’y napangiti dulot sa pag-isip nito. Totoo, may gusto ako kay Phil. Wag n’yo na’kong pagtawanan dahil sa aking sekswualidad, pero ito ang tunay kong nararamdaman. Akala ko noon na ang aking pagmamahal kay Phil ay ang pagmamahal ng isang tao sa kanyang matalik na kaibigan. Kinakailangan lang pala ng panahon upang maunawaan ko ng husto ang ligalig ng aking pag-ibig na ibinabahagi at binubuhos ko sa kanya. Ako’y nagkamali pala. Ang pagmamahal na ito ay higit pa sa pagmamahal ng isang tao sa kanyang matalik na kaibigan.
Ngunit, ako’y napapaisip ng husto. Eh, pa’no nga naman. Ako’y lumaki ng halos buong buhay ko sa Katolikong paaralan, at alam ko na ang ganitong klaseng pag-ibig ay di sumasang-ayon sa batas ng Simbahan... At sa Diyos.
Pero wala na akong magagawa. Ito ang tunay na Tomas. At kung sino man ang totoong Tomas ay ito ang ginugusto ng Poong Maykapal. Ni hindi siya nagkamali sa landas na inilahad niya sa’kin. Kung di mabuti ang pagiging ganito, ay dapat kinuha na ng Demonyo ang aking kaluluwa.
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