If storms don’t last forever, will love?
Pairing: Sirius Black x gender neutral reader
Word Count: 1,079
Warnings: Mentions of blood, panic attack, death, possible grammatical errors
Type: Angst
Prompts used: 3. I guess this is the end then
17. I really thought we would last
A/N: This was written for @pregnant-piggy 2K celebration and also that this is my first fic so not many people will come across but if you do i hope you like it and please do consider leaving a comment which will really help me improve my writing. Flashbacks in Italics. Prompts are in bold.
GIF is not mine. Credits to whoever made it.
It was heartbreaking, painful but you knew you had to do it. It had been a rough couple of months but you’d be lying to yourself if you said it started a few months ago when you knew it was almost a year ago.
Sirius should have been home 3 hours earlier. You heard a faint knock at the door, taking your wand in your hand you opened the door to a heavily injured Sirius. He was bleeding profusely, his clothes were torn and you could see his torso smeared with blood. Sirius immediately told the password and being a healer by profession it was a tad bit easy for you to analyze and treat his pain and bruising but being his girlfriend and doing this took a toll on you. Mainly because this is not the first time he came looking like this and the fact that you knew it won’t be the last. You gave him a strong sedative and could see he was sleeping peacefully. You stayed awake the entire night to make sure he didn't feel any discomfort, pain or nightmares which were very common after a mission.
You were looking at the photo beside your shared bed. It was a photo of you and Sirius which was taken by a muggle camera. It was your graduation that day and after all the festivities at the castle was over both of you were sitting by the Black lake and discussing your future. It wasn’t anything big, you decided you’ll be living in muggle London with the rest of the marauders considering the fact that it was close St. Mungo’s Hospital where you’ll be joining as a first year resident. You were smiling, reminiscing those memories.
You knew a war was coming. You knew you had to fight. Hell, you wanted to. Being a healer they were your natural instincts, to help and heal the people in the forefront. But none of you anticipated things would take a turn for the worst. Within a span of short time you lost almost most of your friends from school. You knew it was only a matter of time since you lost your family too.
You couldn’t do this anymore. The fact that he might not return home after the next mission swallowed you alive. You had talked to Sirius about this but it was of no use. You wanted to leave but he wanted to stay and fight and be a freakin hero! It went from a talk to an argument where both of you were yelling at each other for no apparent reason. That's how almost all ‘talks’ regarding this matter ended.
You decided you had to talk to him. You had talked to Lily and even though she didn't fully agree to it she did say she’ll think about it considering Harry and the fact he deserved to grow up in a peaceful place. Well on your part it was selfish to even think about leaving in the midst of a war and boy were you guilty, yes you were but the fact that you might your loved ones seemed to kill you more.
A part of you knew that this ‘talk’ would end much like the previous time.
Halfway through your talking you noticed that Sirius wasn't saying anything, he was listening which was odd because all the other times when you had the ‘talk’ he would tell you that the world needed saving and both of you were doing your part, how you cannot flee because that’s what cowards do and his whole dramatic speech about being a hero which sent you fuming and well it was mostly just two people who love each other yelling at one another.
What you didn't expect was his silence where he patiently listened. If you hadn't known any better you would have said he was at least thinking about your decision but knowing Sirius he wasn’t going to agree to it this soon and this was what you feared the most. That part of your brain that always kept reminding you that nothing lasts forever. It was like your worst fears coming true. You managed to have a calm face but your insides were exploding. Your breathing became slightly ragged and you were constantly wiping the sweat off your forehead. One thing you were thankful for was from where Sirius was sitting he couldn't notice your fear or so you thought. Sirius came to the couch and sat beside you. He kept his hand on your thigh and the tears which you were holding back came streaming down. You turned your head away. You could hear him sniffling back a sob.
You knew he wouldn't run and you couldn’t stay like this in constant fear of what might happen and who might die. It was taking a severe toll on your mental health and you’ve reached your breaking point and as much as you hated to say it, it was true.
“I guess this is the end then.” You could see the pain and regret in his eyes, his lips quivering. All you wanted to do was to hug him and tell him everything will be alright but you knew if you did both of you would never be able to let go of the other and you knew deep down this was bound to happen no matter how much you denied it.
“I guess it is” was all that he said before he turned his face away letting the tears run down freely. You got up and packed all your stuff. You stumbled across a piece of clothing. It was a red sweater you got Sirius for Christmas. It was from ‘Mickey’s Twice upon a Christmas, a Disney movie you made him watch. It didn't exactly belong to Sirius, it was more like a shared piece of clothing which both of you wore when you missed the other. You picked it up and smelt it for one last time. It smelt of musk with a tinge of firewhiskey, a smell which you could well associate with Sirius. Trying to fill your entire body with his fragrance you folded the sweater and kept it inside your once shared cupboard and left.
Sirius was sitting downstairs in one of the dining chairs, his eyes bloodshot. He managed a weak smile. Before opening the door you turned back and said “I really thought that we would last”
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Tagging: @iamninaanna
A/N: I want to thank @iamninaanna for giving me push I needed to start writing again. Thank you taja =)
