Inside i am just like you

proofs and poetry by Seye Kuyinu

[seye]

when my mind paints you

when my mind paints you

it paints in vivid colors

a portrait of beauty you would see

of models on magazine covers

or pageants with sashes on

you would think

with the amount of detail

and color, i must

be seeing you often.

but i see you often

every time i lay my head to sleep

thinking about how you conquered the day,

what smoothie you blended,

what chocolate you snacked on in bed,

the thoughts that visit you in my absense.

i think about our last days together,

replaying in this same mind

the last time a pixeled screen

rendered your face live in my palm.

i scour old voice notes,

flip through digital photos,

to keep this memory fresh

and that’s why my mind can always paint you

in vivid colors.

when my heart

[seye]

dying just to breathe

crying just so you can bleed

you’ve lost every sense

and of purpose

you can’t even spell my name

when i’m the One you need

[seye]

my condolence for your lust

[seye]

every kiss,  the first one

[seye]

i was like the sun waiting all day to kiss the moon but when ever i came up she went down

beautiful forbidden lovers never able to meet to share warm kisses

she blows me kisses from afar and then i burn in my awakening

[seye]

I hear hushtones

I can't hear your voice When you don't talk to me I can't learn from you When you don't teach me

But I hear the hush tones  Even in your sulk

[seye]

You gave all of you Your sorrows your grief Your comfort your love You protected his ego And chained his pride

All of this And he treats you Like sorrow like grief And he let go, changed his mind. After all of this You find shelter In true love 

[seye]

So we go this last time, weary but hoping. Hoping that this time Things would change. They said an angel stirred The pool at Bethesda. We said we've tried everything. They said Bethesda. "They said". And we said. 

[seye]

will we survive winter? 

[seye]

i was forgiven  so i don’t know  what you’re talking about 

[seye]

Dare to call me lover and I will redefine what your heart thought love was 

Like a defibrillator I will put life into what may have stopped

[seye]

i really want to write the next chapter with you- the one that ends well.

i really want to write the next song with you- the one with the picardy cadence ending

i really want to write the next script with you - the one with the sunset ending

let’s create our own stories

[seye]

Everglow

and it looks like  you’re all I’ve known

  everglow

i’m 

falling through a landslide feeling like it’s the first time

it kind of feels like i’m on a landmine 

threading carefully like

it’s an everglow

[seye]

i’d let it get dark so i can see your face from the moon’s glare from behind the curtain call i have no words to spare no papers to sign no flags to burn many bridges to cross no countries to fall no walls to defend no lines to draw

but I’m drawn

to you

[seye]

you’re obsessed by the camera lights and would do anything to be in the spotlights you forget the source

powder, towels and cucumber patches shiny gowns, golden pendants and latches you forget who beauty is.

i will be there to remind you 

[seye]

how do i know you? i hear the secrets you keep  when you sleep

[seye]

only if you could just let go

cheap thrills, fast rides, one night stands and fast songs are not my things

but i stumble down concrete walls hoping to fall fall into the right arms

and yours is what i found so can you stay with me not tonight but forever

sometimes i tell myself i'm buying time but we can't get back lost time

we can't get it back and that's why i point it to you each morning when i realize

it's one more day to tomorrow so can you stay with me not tonight but forever

i've never loved you harder than i did yesterday and tomorrow holds so many uncertainties

we can't just fade like we never met like we never held each other like we never kissed

and so i'm trying to say: can you stay with me not tonight but forever

can i make you believe one last time that we are not all the same let's make this one our own i'll give you all i got just to make it work not tonight but forever

but you're so far away you're so far away so far away far away away only if you could just let go

there's so much i can give to you just say you want me to, my roots can break the ground our leaves can be new pages

only if you could just let go