Miss Lara M's minion

Female domination, Female-Led Relationships and many kinky things [chastity, cbt, ruined orgasm, etc.].

[denial-permanente]

do either of you remember the last time Tom was allowed traditional intercourse, or what it was like? was it a gradual tapering off? do you ever celebrate the "last time"?

It's funny that men who can't seem to remember birthdays and anniversaries manage to remember the date of their last orgasm 🤔

It's not unusual for Tom to spend weeks or months locked up, and we didn't know at the time that it was going to be permanent. And since he is often denied or only allowed a ruined orgasm, all we remember is that the last time he was allowed to come inside me was somewhere between February and March of 2018.

While I do sometimes enjoy him telling me how long he's been locked and denied, I honestly don't care much about keeping track of dates and things. Especially now that I've decided that this is permanent, what does a few weeks more or less matter?

However, because I do enjoy knowing that it has been some period of time, I also decided that we will take the count from the easy to remember date of April 1st. 😉

And no, I don't do anything special to celebrate that date. The way I see it, Tom is locked up for my pleasure, not his own. If there is any special treat, it's that I allow him to focus even more on pleasuring me.

[denial-permanente]

Hey :)

You mentioned that Tom is allowed to cum quite often while you have sex with his faux cock. May I ask how often that is? And how does he feel after that kind of (ruined) orgasm? Does his submissiveness drop at all? Is he still horny afterwards?

Did I say quite often?

Although I enjoy when he tells me how long it's been, I honestly don't bother keeping track because it's really not that important to me. The important thing to me is that he is locked up... just keeping him locked makes his libido higher, and all it takes is a little cage check from me to turn his low simmer into a boil. 😈

Tom says that he doesn't really keep track either, but it works out to about once a month that we make love and I either allow him (or sometimes make him have) a caged orgasm. But it varies. His last stretch was over 2 months. But I've also given him them 2 "dates" in a row, although not very often. It depends on my mood. And somerimes we make it into a game where he tries to hold back and I try to make him. I always win when I put my mind into it, but sometimes I let him stay denied. Again, it's all about how I feel at the time.

Tom has said that up until a couple of years ago, the caged orgasms felt weird. Not totally ruined, but never very satisfying. But by the time he passed his 3rd year being permanently locked up, he discovered that they were becoming very enjoyable. He says that I've rewired his brain so that they now feel as good as what he remembers them feeling like in the old days. I can tell you that when it happens, he makes a lot of noise, and grabs my hips, and does even more bucking and moving that he used to do. It sure looks like he's enjoying them to me. 😆

I don't really consider him to be submissive, but usually I can tell he's "off" for a day. He's still affectionate, but the passion isn't totally there. But after another night, he wakes up the next morning as horny as ever. I think it's because the cage never comes off, and without the stroking and pumping, maybe when he comes now he's only 90% satisfied? I don't know. Again, all those little details just aren't important to me. All I care about is that I always have a loving and attentive husband. 😊

[denial-permanente]

Have you ever tried pegging your husband now that he is locked up, or do you tease his locked cock with a vibrator like in some of the chastity memes?

First, I have to say that i really hate the word "pegging." You can tell that it must have been made up by a man. 🙄

But no, I do not do anything like that. I don't have anything against it, but for me, the idea is too dommish or mistressy or something. Personally, I prefer to lay back and have Tom do all the work to pleasure me. As it should be.

In the past, I have tried using a vibrator on his cage. I don't care for it because it makes him have a fast, very ruined orgasm. Where's the fun for me in that? And honestly, I don't even care for it on me for those same reasons. My husband makes me have plenty of orgasms from intercourse, and that's how I prefer to have them.

Also, I can make him aroused enough to come in his cage when we make love, which makes me feel like a sex goddess.

Finally, I do not "tease" him, in the sense that I do not do anything special to get him aroused. Tom is perpetually 16, and has no problem getting aroused. 😂 In fact, that's one of the reasons that I enjoy keeping him locked up.

[denial-permanente]

Did you allow him ruined orgasm?

No. Never. Sort of.

I don't understand the fascination that a lot of men seem to have for "ruined" orgasms. I've had a few ruined ones myself, and I can tell you that I did NOT like them at all! Several years ago, I became interested in ruining them on @that-tom-allen, and I think that I became pretty good at it. He hated them and loved them at the same time. He even looked forward to them, even when he knew that's what I was going to do. Men are so weird.

However, once he was locked, that was it. I do not remove his cage for any sexual reason. That means no "teasing", whatever that means, and no orgasms, ruined or not.

I want to make it clear that this is not out of cruelty or punishment. I want my husband to focus all of his sexual energy on me, and me alone. I feel like if I unlock him for anything like that, then he will lose that focus, and start looking forward to me doing things with his caged cock.

While I do allow him to come in his cage sometimes, it's always a spur of the moment decision for me based on my mood. It is not a reward for him, it's more because I enjoy making him come. It makes me feel powerful and a bit sexy to know that I can make him do this while he's locked in a tight steel cage.

So... no, I don't do anything that will shift his focus from me to his caged cock.

[denial-permanente]

This question is for Mrs Edge. First, thank you for the time and energy that you put into this blog. My husband and I have been in this lifestyle for a few years, and even though you say you aren't a domme, your "real world" advice has helped me become more confident in dominating my husband, and my husband being a better sub to me. My question is, have you ever felt guilty about enjoying your Vixskin more than your husband? How did you get past that?

Before we got into this lifestyle, I rarely came from intercourse, even though I do enjoy it. For the last few years I prefer to have my husband go down on me, because I come much better that way. Then I unlock him to let him have his fun 😉, then I push his head back down to clean up, and then lock him up again.

We have used a strapon in the past, but it was always hit or miss for me. Because of your advice, we bought a Vixskin like yours, and tried the trick of heating it up first. It was amazing 🔥 and now it's a regular part of our lovemaking. My husband goes down on me, then he puts on the Vixskin and we have sex, and I almost always come now. And that's the problem.

I found that after I come, it "ruins the moment" for me if I unlock him and let him have sex with me. Personally, I would just prefer to lay still and just feel "him" in me while we kiss and be close, and I can float back down, if you know what I mean. 

He hasn't said anything, but I think he feels a little badly because he seems to be working harder at trying to make me come, even though we both know it won't work. And then I feel a little badly for him, not to mention a little guilty, because I find myself feeling that what I really want is to just leave him locked so it doesn't spoil my own enjoyment.

So this made me wonder if you have felt guilty about doing the same thing? And how did you get over it? 💋 Karin

Hi Karin. First, thank you for writing and letting me know that you have gotten something helpful from our blog.

I think I understand what you're really asking. When we were new at this, we got into using a strapon faux cock early on because I actually prefer intercourse. But sometimes I would unlock my husband after a few weeks just to feel him inside me, even if I did not allow him to come. But sometimes I would allow him, or even want him to come, either as a reward or just the idea in the back of my mind that I "should" allow him.

Over time, I became more comfortable with the idea of keeping him denied, both from coming and being inside me. It didn't happen overnight... but I have to admit that things started "clicking" for me when we started using the Vixskin. Maybe the more lifelike feel made me more comfortable? Maybe I felt a little more connection? Or maybe enough time had gone by that I was already feeling more confident in myself? I do remember that I could literally go for months without feeling like I needed or wanted to unlock him.

Here's something to think about. I always came from intercourse with my husband... but using the Tex (and now the Ranger) gives me more (and stronger!) orgasms. I think it's because before I was maybe distracted by thoughts of "I hope he doesn't come too soon" or "why is he slowing down now?" or "I was almost there and he changed pace." I realized that with my husband locked, using the Tex felt like "him" without all the mental distractions and I could focus just on myself. And now with the Ranger, it's, well, the same thing... just bigger and better if you know what I mean. 😉

So... about feeling guilty. Once I realized that my husband both wanted an orgasm and wanted me to deny him at the same time, I realized it was truly my decision because he would be both happy and frustrated no matter what I did. 😂 I used to ask him if he wanted to come and of course he said yes. But then I started asking if he wanted me to keep him locked... and he said yes to that, too. Once I became confident that denying him did not make him disappointed, I stopped having any guilt over it and just enjoyed his being totally focused on me. It also meant that when I was "finished", that I really could just lay there and snuggle without worrying about him. Not in a neglectful way, but because in our relationship, he gave that power to me. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right. But if you're his domme, then your husband has given you that power, too. Ultimately, he wants you to take it.

One more thing. You mention that you haven't talked to him about how he's feeling. I'm not really good at those conversations myself but it's important that you ask him what's going on in his head... especially if you think he's acting differently. He may be having second thoughts or he may be thinking something totally different. But you really need to know about it so you don't get any weird surprises when you least expect it.

Good luck and let me know how you're doing!

[denial-permanente]

How often do you allow him to have ruined orgasms?

It's hard to say. I never keep track of anything... and if he leaks a little or if he comes a lot, to me it's all coming. Last year I was allowing him to come maybe once a month or so. This year I have only allowed him to come twice. I don't have any schedule or anything... it's all about what I think is hot at the time. As it should be.

[denial-permanente]

Curious as to how you worked up to having your husband permanently locked, and what kind of cage do you have your husband locked in? Is he pierced? I find the idea of being locked up to be very exciting, but not sure i could handle it permanently. Thank for your time. Mark

Worked up? I am a cruel high class Mistress trained in the old ways. I did not have to "work up" my submissive husband to anything... I just bought a bespoke custom made cage on ebay and locked it on him. Now he is my slave and is lucky that I allow him a yearly ruined orgasm in his cage.

You will probably get a lot more answers if you read our porn blog here:

Frequently Asked Questions

[denial-permanente]

Hey Tom, what is the longest amount of time you've gone without ejaculating?

🔏 In 2023, @mrs--edge only allowed me to come twice. Not that she intended it, that's just how things worked out. And of course, it was in my cage, because that's just our dynamic now.

About ten years ago we had a fifteen month period during which I was not caged, but was not allowed to have an orgasm. However, because it made me way too sensitive for PIV, she would would give me a ruined orgasm every few months. Afterwards, we decided that having me caged was just better all around, for the both of us.

I know some guys have it tracked to the hour, maybe even the minute, but I stopped that ages ago.

[denial-permanente]

My wife does the same thing. Just stops when I really worked up. I can't climax in my chastity like Tom. I think that might be more frustrating. What has been the longest you have denied him of any type of orgasm? Which is more exciting for you, watching hime climax in his cage or totally denying him of one?

About 10 or 12 years ago I made Tom go without orgasm for 15 months. He was not caged. I did ruin a few during that time because he was so sensitive that he was pretty much useless for sex. 😂

Right now he has not come since last May, maybe around Memorial Day. I probably will make him go until at least then before I allow him to have another one. Then maybe once a year after that, I haven't really decided.

[denial-permanente]

Funny thinng is we started full time chastity at the same time last year and going I thought a year when it started. Now I don't know how long it will be before I have an orgasm or a ruined one for that matter. How do you define a ruined orgasm? Is it a climax in your mind?

I have been locked "full time" for most of the past 25 years, and literally "full time" since near the beginning of 2018.

I no longer know how to define a ruined orgasm. Mrs Edge used to ruin mine by stroking me with her hands, and then stopping just before the spasms, and squeezing hard to prevent the expected physical release. She has also stopped any touch a few seconds before so the spasms (and subsequent release of fluid) were very weak.

We used to consider my caged orgasms as ruined. However after almost three years of not having any other kind, my brain became rewired, and I began enjoying them. Now, they have become more intense than coming the old way.

I've stopped thinking about "climax" type orgasms. Mrs Edge spent a few years giving me really intense caged orgasms, maybe every month or so. Then a couple years ago that dropped off. I had two in 2023 and two in 2024.

There have been a couple of times that my body just released some semen without much warning. No feeling or orgasm involved, so I don't even know if that was "ruined" or just an emission. Frankly, I think we are beyond tracking what we do anymore.

🔏

[yesmissnyx]

How do you feel about ruining a man's orgasm?

It's fun and I do it often 😈🙏

[yesmissnyx]

In the mood to ruin some poor, unsuspecting sub's orgasm 😤

[yesmissnyx]

🤍 Your Yearly Cum Budget 🤍

Now that we're rounding on the new year, I just had a brilliant idea:

Giving you a cum budget for the year.

Only letting you cum X-many times in a whole year, and if you run out, you don't get to have a satisfying orgasm until the next January 1st.

Doesn't that sound evil?

How many times do you think would be fair?

Fifty two would give you one a week, but I think that might be too much...

Twenty four? That's two orgasms a month. Maybe more, if you're willing to go without for a stretch of time...

What about twelve? Just one a month. Then every month would be like Locktober and No Nut November.

Could you stand even fewer than that? Or would you lose your mind completely?

Would you try to space them out evenly? Do you think you could even control yourself? Or do you think you'd hit August and have to go for MONTHS only edging and MAYBE ruining, if I let you?

Because I wouldn't let you cum. Even if you cried and begged and bargained. What...did you think this would be easy?

You agreed to this, sweetheart.

Just a fun little thing to think about during the new year 🖤

[yesmissnyx]

I was just about to test my new toy but since I saw your post about wanting to ruin a sub's orgasm, how could I do anything other than oblige? I'll keep edging until my brain leaks out, for you miss :]

A sacrifice at my altar of denied and ruined orgasms is always welcome 🥰

[yesmissnyx]

Hi! Love you and your blog ❤️ I was just wondering what you get out of ruining someones orgasm? And your favourite way to do it?

Thanks!

In case you haven't picked up from probably every other post on my blog, I have a Thing for orgasm control, hehe~

There's a special kind of cruelty that comes from letting someone cum, but making sure they aren't satisfied by it! Maybe it helps let off a little steam so they can edge more, or maybe it just makes them want their next orgasm even more desperately...

To answer your other question, I have a couple of favorite ways! First is to have them edge for awhile and then giving them the choice to either keep edging, or cum but ruin it 😈

Second way is hand-frees, which generally works better for people with penises. Either with a vibrator, a butt toy, and/or making them hump a pillow. I really love watching them grind and spurt helplessly, especially since not everyone can cum this way 😤💞💞💞

Making subs do it to themself is pretty much always my favorite!

[yesmissnyx]

ruined orgasms?

My rating: Oh HELL yes

Ruined orgasms are part of a well balanced chastity and denial diet!

I'm neutral toward them as an individual kink, but in combination with other kinks? Yes. Very yes.

There's just something so deeply hot about getting someone to the very edge...making them struggle to hold it together...pushing them aaaalmost past their limit...giving them permission to cum RIGHT as they're about to lose control...

Only to take your hand away and ruin it 😈

This is also another kink that is SO much fun to do from a distance. Making someone ruin their own orgasm is such a fucking power trip, especially if they've been edging for an ungodly long time.

For added tears, make them choose between staying denied and getting to cum...but ONLY if they ruin it for you 😈😈😈

Also, can I say that I love watching someone completely helpless as they thrust against nothing but air, cock spurting uncontrollably as they moan and struggle through a ruined orgasm?

God, yes 🥵

(Send me a kink or scenario and I'll rate it!)

[female-led-couple]

malechastitynow.com have sent back my custom built Contender cage after I returned it for adjustments to the P.A locking cylinder position.

Catch the un-boxing and refitting/relocking of @female-leds-boy over on my OnlyFans.

https://linktr.ee/femaleledcouple

[muffleduk]

(kneeling in chastised obedience for @female-led-couple 🔐🙇) What an auspicious day MS. Love the video, and enjoyed the excitement and joy in your voice. Fingers crossed it all works out over the coming days and YOUR cock has finally found its 'forever home'. I appreciate that the day of permanent inescapable chastity has been a long time coming, with disappointing frustrations along the way. I especially liked the fact YOU didn't allow him a final erection before switching to the contender. Did that cross f-l-b's mind at the time? @female-leds-boy

Tumblr peeps, if you're not already a subscriber and you want to see todays event then you know what you need to do.

Thankyou MS 🔐🙇

[female-leds-boy]

@muffleduk I will beg at an appropriate time around the Christmas holidays for an erection, @female-led-couple has been known to let me thrust on my knees between HER patient leather boots once or twice a year. It would make good content for your subscribers MS?

[muffleduk]

(kneeling in chastised obedience for @female-led-couple 🔐🙇) Ahhh @female-leds-boy so you're still clinging on to the prospect of a future erection. If all goes well with fitment I'd reconsider that thought if I were you. I get the distinct impression that MS may well want to keep you locked up and erectionless longer than you think. Just my opinion. Thankyou MS 🔐🙇

[female-led-couple]

I know you are thinking from a desperate place @female-leds-boy but seriously?! 🤣 How many erections did you have during the time you were free waiting for stretches and the p.a piercing to heal??? Far too many! So you’ve had enough in the past year to last a lifetime. If this cage causes no discomfort or issues it won’t be removed anymore this year at all!!!! Not.A.Chance. Silly boy.

[supersublocked]

Knelt in Submission to @female-led-couple

Uh oh! Looks like somebody’s on the naughty list this year! 😂🤣😂🤣 🎅

I can’t blame a sub for trying, but I don’t think MS will struggle for content 🤷🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️