sup jerkwads

my names dave egbert im pretty cool im sure youve heard of me before theres nothing non awesome about me in fact i am the chillest motherfucker ever cant say that about my counterpart though hes pretty much a whiny little bitch that cries all the time christ ((this blog is NSFW and contains things that are probably triggering)) ==> User: Visit normal Dave Egbert account.

[shadowdavebert]

ps promise me youll never be overly chipper like ever

yeah whatever dude

[shadowdavebert]

heres your daily reminder of how much you suck you suck so hard that youve been hired by 10 brothels

frick off asswipe

[shadowdavebert]

> You grimace for half a second at the fake tea and decide not to take a sip just yet.

yeah i know how it goes

i havent seen you in a while i guess uh….

been sleeping a lot and all that

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

>You take a sip and sigh in content. You always make the best tea. <3

yeah ive been sleeping a bit too its weird too because sometimes ill be awake and then sometimes im not…. but its not on purpose?…or something im not sure how to describe it and im sorry :( 

[shadowdavebert]

hm maybe youre lucid dreaming or something

sounds kind of like it maybe i dont know

i pretty much just tire myself out until im too beat to stay awake

then i pass out heh

livin the thug lyfe right

> Sighs and picks up his teacup.

sometimes though i wish i could get out of here for real

[shadowdavebert]

i am 10000000000000% done with you

[turntechgodtits]

are you really or is that code for “please dani slam some more suessicals my way” because i think you want some more suessicals 

[shadowdavebert]

hey man go for it

youre the one having to write them

lemme see what you got

[shadowdavebert]

no

no i do not want to join a dance club

or dance the night away

i do not want to do any of these okay

i dont dance

[turntechgodtits]

well okay sam i am you do not dance you do not twerk youre just one big fat jerk 

and guess what kid lets settle the rules ive been playin you for a fool

i know you do not dance and twerk away although its questionable if youre gay (most likely you are)

so i will not ask if you do dance and i will not ask if you prance i will not shall not ask those things since its too much for the shadow douche king

[shadowdavebert]

i am 10000000000000% done with you

[shadowdavebert]

hey dani whats up

> Takes a seat next to her and grins.

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

>You pour out a cup of tea for him before pouring one for yourself. Of course by tea you mean water.

tee hee~ well you know the usual baking cookies checking on tumblr sleeping you know how it goes :) 

[shadowdavebert]

> You grimace for half a second at the fake tea and decide not to take a sip just yet.

yeah i know how it goes

i havent seen you in a while i guess uh....

been sleeping a lot and all that

[billciipher]

lozzy

[turntechgodtits]

((I just need this here. Okay? Okay.))

[shadowdavebert]

oh okay ill uh

be right over then gimme a sec

/MAGICALLY TELEPORTS OVER THERE BECAUSE I’M LAZY

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

>Inside Dani’s bedroom + tea party area because also lazy.

hi davey!~ hi!!! :D 

[shadowdavebert]

hey dani whats up

> Takes a seat next to her and grins.

[shadowdavebert]

fuck off i dont want to join a dance club thats gay

i dont dance man shut up

[turntechgodtits]

so you do want to join a dance club you want to come out of the closet and dance the night away

got it 

[shadowdavebert]

no

no i do not want to join a dance club

or dance the night away

i do not want to do any of these okay

i dont dance

[tarif]

190-Almost. But not quite.

[shadowdavebert]

alright ill be waiting

just give me a holler

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

yay!~~ you can come in now if you like itll mean waiting for the cookies to bake but we can pass the time by talking and drinking tea :) 

[shadowdavebert]

oh okay ill uh

be right over then gimme a sec

/MAGICALLY TELEPORTS OVER THERE BECAUSE I'M LAZY

[shadowdavebert]

no i do not pop and lock to coldplay i said YOU were the one poppin and lockin not me

[turntechgodtits]

you were really quick to dismissing that though so okay we have some confirmation to your twerkin and poppin skills man maybe you should just join a dance club you would suck at it but hey you would get all your twerking desire out of your system 

[shadowdavebert]

fuck off i dont want to join a dance club thats gay

i dont dance man shut up

[shadowdavebert]

well i guess i can squeeze a tea party into my very busy schedule

im a busy man you know

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

oh goodie! ill go and prepare everything now!! X3 i swear you wont be disappointed. itll be awesome~ 

[shadowdavebert]

alright ill be waiting

just give me a holler

[shadowdavebert]

nah i bet you do something worse like pop and lock to the backstreet boys am i right

[turntechgodtits]

pop and lock… really now douche canoe youre really letting out your dance moves and schedule to me one at a time arent you

so lets see… if you twerk it to owl city than i guess you pop and lock to coldplay 

[shadowdavebert]

no i do not pop and lock to coldplay i said YOU were the one poppin and lockin not me

[shadowdavebert]

that sounds uh

cool i guess yeah

ive just been hanging out here i guess

doing a whole bunch of nothing

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

well i needed to change up a lil from hosting tea parties that and… well some of my usual guests were disappearing so i decided to just explore a bit which is scary but fun i suppose

oh oh!!!! you should come over to my castle then we could have a tea party i nice one at that :D 

[shadowdavebert]

well i guess i can squeeze a tea party into my very busy schedule

im a busy man you know

[shadowdavebert]

hey dont be talkin shit about my genericass life

shut up

like your life is any better

[turntechgodtits]

oh excuse me i meant your generic ass shiny booty life is that better princess

and yes yes my life is better than yours i dont twerk to owl city so thats an automatic upgrade 

[shadowdavebert]

nah i bet you do something worse like pop and lock to the backstreet boys am i right

[shadowdavebert]

nah you just gotta learn

’s fine though dont worry about it

are you okay

[shadow-dani-deactivated20150914]

okay :) oh…well im alright ive actually started to explore a bit more just around my castle and peering out my door though i did try to step outside and wander down the street… it was interesting :) 

[shadowdavebert]

that sounds uh

cool i guess yeah

ive just been hanging out here i guess

doing a whole bunch of nothing