The unhinged salad lover

not just salads chips sandwiches and cakes are under my rule as well

[shadysaladtyrant]

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[badgraph1csghost]

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

[badgraph1csghost]

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

[omnicat]

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

[null-is-sparing-you]

Let’s see:

Out of the norm

Perfectly communicates all relevant details

Makes the recipient smile

Yall have no reason to be embarrassed by this.

[shadysaladtyrant]

I have seen this thread on yt shorts eight thousands times, it has finally reached me lol

[beardedmrbean]

Spite can be a incredible motivator

[shadysaladtyrant]

I actually did the math on this (went to my calculator) and came up to the answer that drake dose 1.6 repeating or 1 and ⅔ of a burpee every minute. I used to have to do ten a minute in a 3rd grade gym class.

[maga-lament]

Nobody will forgive me for voting for Trump...

My whole family wants nothing to do with me. I'm out of a job and my roommates kicked me out the morning after the election. They packed my things while I was out and I came back to my items in the front yard. To be fair, I knew they were democrats and I hid the fact that I was a trump supporter until after he won.

I've tried contacting my sister's and apologizing for voting for Trump but two of them have blocked my number and the third is just ignoring me. My bieces and neohews have all blocked me on social media. My parents no longer call me and I haven't seen any of my family since November. They all celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas without me. I tried pretending it didn't hurt and tried masking the pain under being thrilled over Trump's win, but Trump cost me my job now. I have no friends and no family. I'm trying to convince everyone I no longer support him but nobody will listen. What do I do?

[shadysaladtyrant]

Sounds like you only don't support him because people showed you they don't like the shit person you supported. Sucks to suck I guess.

#fucktrump

[kaijuno]

[shadysaladtyrant]

lol

[thememedaddy]

[shadysaladtyrant]

It took me a bit but

Oh Um oh

[mohiy123-deactivated20240725]

‼️Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸

Im’ mohiy from Gaza 🍉🇵🇸 ..I need your help if you can

I am 23 years old. I live under the bombardment and constant aggression against Gaza. Here we struggle with a life of constant death and loss. I lost a large part of my family. We also lost our house in which we used to live. We were displaced more than 10 times from one place to another, searching for safety. In fact, there is no safe place. We had many ambitions and hopes. I graduated from university and intended to travel, work, and many other things. But the war came and destroyed all that. We also had a source of livelihood and clothing shops.🇵🇸🍉

The occupation completely destroyed and burned them all, and we no longer have any source of livelihood. We also lack access to food and drinking water. We suffered from many diseases, such as hepatitis and malnutrition due to the lack of a suitable environment for life, and I had surgery to remove the gallbladder. Here we live in hunger and fear. My mother also suffers from chronic diseases and we cannot find a cure for them. Our lives are in danger. Therefore, I hope you can help, even if just a little, as this will help us get out of death."🇵🇸🍉

The most difficult decision for us was to leave our country, to leave Gaza, to overcome the obstacles we faced and the losses we suffered, and to start a new life from scratch.💔💔

https://gofund.me

Donate to Support Mohi's Fight for Survival in Gaza, organized by Kalie Ganem

My name is Kalie from Baltimore, MD, and I'm raising money for my friend Mohi fr… Kalie Ganem needs your support for Support Mohi's Fight fo

[ana-bananya]

This is @wafaaresh 's brother. I messaged her and she confirmed it was Mohi.

Wafaa also gave me his instagram so I could speak with him. I messaged him about the gfm and he responded to confirm it was his. This Mohi's second account he had to make after the previous one was terminated.

So far Mohi's campagin only has $115/$5,000

[ahmeedhgftvjj]

🫂🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸🍉❤️

[mohiy-gaza2-deactivated20241025]

My new account ✔️ 🇵🇸Palestine| Gaza 📍🇵🇸 Save My Family

Donate to Support Mohi's Fight for Survival in Gaza, organized by Kalie Ganem

My name is Kalie from Baltimore, MD, and I'm raising money for my friend Mohi fr… Kalie Ganem needs your support for Support Mohi's Fight fo

[animentality]

[mothdogs]

[anxietyproblem]

[spooked-gremlin-deactivated2024]

G O O S E

[depsidase]

[shadysaladtyrant]

Why would someone admit that

[wadefeltonism-deactivated202106]

rb if you’d wipe all pedophiles off this earth

[depsidase]

[shadysaladtyrant]

Anyone else feeling a little French

[depsidase]

[shadysaladtyrant]

Just a reminder the rich don't care about you or anyone or anything but themselves. There may be a few exceptions but the majority don't care

[shadysaladtyrant]

Hi, just a warning this post contains personal experience related to SA and Grape. If you are not comfortable with that scroll.

Hi, my name is Lexi. I lived and still do live in MI specifically the U.P. when I was around 7 I was Graped by a close friends brother while at his house across the street from my own. The first time it happened we were in the woods and he convinced me to raise my pink sun flower dress so he could see my underwear and asked to see privates. I did not know it was wrong and he was 11 at the time so I listened to him. The next time it happened me him and his brother (my friend) were downstairs in the basement of his duplex. He had the basement in the rental agreement so he had a couch and TV down there. He convinced me to allow him to have $3x with him down there. He convinced me multiple times to do the same thing over and over through the week and because I was seven I saw no issue with it. I was seven there was no consent, I didn't know what I was doing. One day however I told him no and he pinned me on the bed and told me it was fine. After that he stopped and the next year moved.

His name is Damien, I'm not sure if his last name but he would be around 20 now. Black with brown curly hair and brown eyes. I was not his only victim he had two others I know about. My story may not seem like anything to you, but it has ruled my life for years and I am done letting it.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[depsidase]

[shadysaladtyrant]

Help, this is more of an embarrassment then miss ukulele on YouTube