"Hey dude, what's up? I haven't seen you since last semester! That study abroad must have been fucking sick, especially with the foreign cuisine... Me? Yeah, having the dorm to myself definitely let me get 'comfortable'. I mean, without a roommate around, who would object to me letting this gut breathe? Better yet, who would object to me growing this gut? I really only leave this room for classes and fast food runs. I ain't got no one to impress but me, myself, and I."
















