oozey mess
if i look back, i am lost
almost home
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ellievsbear
Sweet Seals For You, Always
RMH
One Nice Bug Per Day
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
pixel skylines
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seen from Brunei
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@shakentothecore
Finally went back to the studio for a day to sit and watch rehearsal before my girls went to the first competition of the season and they presented me with this! So so kind of them for doing so. I swear chocolate is the LAST thing I need to be eating considering I'm not getting any exercise BUT I will enjoy it nonetheless.
Oops
So I fell off the bandwagon a little bit. So I'll do a catch up post and some pictures. So I went for my two week follow up with my doctor. I went in and did some X-rays before seeing the doctor and then went in to the exam room. He said that everything is healing fine and I need to continue to use the crutches for the next 4 week 😭. I wasn't particularly thrilled to hear this as I really wanted to be off these crutches BUT he did say I could drive as long as it didn't cause me any pain so I was out of that exam room like 🏃🏾💨 I'm kidding BUT that was nice news to hear considering I really wanted to get out of the house without being chaperoned. He said I could "cheat" a little bit and put some weight on it but for the most part nothing more than toe bearing weight. I was hoping to start PT by the first week of March but that doesn't look like it'll be happening. I'm just ready to get my life back to its normally scheduled program. I am also ready to be back home in my own bed and space. Sure being in a big house with endless tv channels and free food is nice but I like my independence, hence the reason I moved out in the first place. I also got my stitches out. The incision site isn't big at all but does continue to itch some. As for the pain there isn't much. I notice it more when I get in and out of the car and when I am rolling over in bed. Getting off the toilet is a lot easier and painless now. Walking on it doesn't hurt but going up and down the stairs without crutches is a bit difficult. So I won't be pushing it much. Since I know I can walk the hard part will be sticking to these crutches instead of walking everywhere. I also have been cleared to work as long as I'm sitting down, which isn't really feasible with my jobs. I can halfway teach my kids sitting but dance for the company is a definite no. So the wait continues... End post
Day 12
The rain... “ Rain came down in gusts seemed to laugh at us till daylight”
Pretty much the same mundane day, with one exception...the rain. Today it rained, and while crutching around the house I decided to stand on my front porch and listen to the rain. The smell, the feel, the sound. It was amazing. I miss the feeling out of being outside.
Mood of the day
“So burn me like cedar, I request another dream, I need a forest fire”
I'm ready to be back to this 😔
“ I've been to the moon, don't tempt me I've been where you are, God help me I've been to the moon and stars for you And now it’s your turn to go for me too “
Day 11
Wake up, eat, watch netflix, shower, nap, watch more netflix, eat, sleep.
Another boring day.
I’m less itchy though which is a plus! I also realized I cant sit criss-cross applesauce which is sad. I’m hoping this surgery haunt compromised my ability to turn out.
“So come bring your love here with all its mistakes Speak to me softly like lovers do Here are the fragments I saved for you”
Day 10
The day after my outing is harder than I thought. Maybe it was a better idea to just have stayed in and not gone out at all. Today has been really hard. I haven’t wanted to do much of anything (not that I really can anyways) I’ve laid in bed most of the day watching different ballets. Today is super bowl sunday and I couldn’t care less so it’s not like I even have that to look forward to.
My dad decided we should make homemade pizza to eat while the game was on. It took everything in me not to cry on the dough. I was miserable while making the pizza. Everything is setting me off. I got up from the bar and left in a hurry because the guy who sang the national anthem was irking me. I’ve done absolutely nothing noteworthy today. I just want my freedom back. I need to be back
end post
Day 9
Freedom...well kinda...
Today it has been a week and a day sine I’ve had my surgery and was supposed to be the day of my escape from my parents house. I set up a hair appointment to get pampered a little and then was hoping to swing by my place to retrieve my mail and be out and about. Because I cant go out alone (according to my parents, not my doctor for the record) I has a chaperoned outing which I wasnt the happiest about but whatever I got out of the house.
I love my hairstylist, she’s awesome. They really should get a raise because I’m sure i’m not the only person who uses my hairstylist as a therapist (I tip her well rest assured). She didn’t have a client immediately after me so she took her time and we laughed and talked and even made friends with the girl who was in the chair next to me.
After leaving the hair salon my dad I think was under the impression that we were going to swing by my place to get my mail and hightail it home...no no no...not so quickly. I suggested target (a large place with lots of things to look at and somewhere I could spend a solid hour in especially since I’m moving at a slower pace before) After a little coaxing my dad said okay and off to target we went. Low and behold as I’m crutching around target I run into Gabby, a friend of mine who dances for the same company I dance for and my most recent sugar plum for nutcracker. I told my dad after a quick chat with her “See I told coming to target was a good idea!”
After target we were headed back to the house. Coming back was a harsh reality that I really missed being out an about. Walking in the park, along the beltline, going to lenox, lunches and dinners with friends. I missed my freedom. I shut down for the rest of the night knowing it is probably going to be another week or so before I am leave the confines of this house.
end post
Day 8
I got up before 10 AM today, so that was a plus! I was teased with going out to lunch but...that didn't happen. When I tell you I am ready to be out and not on crutches. I am ret ta go. I watched one of my favorite movies Clue. It was never not be funny. Read a GQ magazine. Sorted through some old papers and bank stuff. I'm supposed to going to get my haircut tomorrow and was going to run a couple errands and book a lunch date but I'm on house arrest and can't go anywhere without supervision so...there went that idea. What I really want is nothing more than to go for a stroll in the park. Nothing would make me happier...well that or a trip to Lenox. I don't think they really understand how it feels to be cooped up in this house. I'm ready for a change of scenery. Also I don't know if my bone is starting to grow or mesh in my leg but I've been having some odd discomfort in my femur. And my incision site still itches End post
Day 7
Ready 👏🏽 to 👏🏽 go👏🏽 So the highlight of my day was my brother stopping by for lunch. Thanks to him for breaking up the monotony of the day. He actually understands my desire to get out of this freaking house. Other than that I was rather boring. I am seriously ready to get out of the house. I need to be in the open air. End post
So this lovely picture right here is the breakdown of the Cold Compression machine that was delivered to my house the day before my surgery. Yes you read that correctly $11,040.00 is the cost to use this machine for 16 days post surgery. They also included a gallon is distilled water (which they didn’t charge for…Im surprised). I’ll be sure to include a picture of the machine as well. It’s designed to prevent blood clots in the legs as well as keeps the swelling down at the surgical site. I will also say that’s the out of pocket price PRE insurance. As far as I know insurance took care of the cost for this machine (and thank god they did) but I’ll be sure to double check and update if I get a bill from them if insurance didn’t cover part of this.
Day 6
Well today was rather mundane with just a sprinkle of work in there.
Woke up, later than I normally would. Since I’m not on my pain pills anymore my sleep patter has returned back to light sleeper. I was able to do a little bit of work today editing music but wasn’t enough to feel like I was actually doing my part in the world and making a contribution to a greater good.
One of the funny things I experienced today was when you lay in bed majority of the day you lose track of the days. I have a planner which is my “bible for time” I write down everything so I know where and when I need to be. As I was sitting and having dinner today my dad asked me when my rent was due. I completely forgot today was the first! I had several deposits that hadn’t been made and bills that needed to be paid, I’d locked myself out of my bank account trying to log in, I was so focused on this surgery that after my brain turned into mush. Needless to say everything is paid and life can resume.
I do wish I had a project or something to work on though. I’ve been watching Bates Motel (great series, especially if you loved Psycho) and Those People, which is a move on Netflix. I also made a hair appointment on Saturday to get out of the house so that’s a plus. I’m going stir crazy being at my parents house. Other than that same day, same stuff...
end post.
A wonderful edible arrangement from a group of student that I teach. I love my LDS kids. ICE y'all are the sweetest. And thank you for sending something healthy. I'm not trying to gain any weight while on bedrest.
Day 5
Sometimes you just have to get out... Sometimes you just have to get out, it might not be the out you want, but some sunshine on your face and wind blowing through your hair does the soul a world wind of good. Today started off as another mundane day. Awoken by my mother as I lost track of yet another day spent sleeping in. Prior to this I'd always been up when the sun was. This usually aggravated my sleeping partners as I'm not one to stay in bed. I'm a walking definition of "up and at 'em" but for some reason I've been sleeping in, I guess I need the sleep but I'm not happy about developing the habit. The hours I stay asleep are still few and far between. I can't stay comfortable for very long so I'm constantly switching sides and sleeping positions trying to find one where some part of my body doesn't go numb or lock up. This is also day 2 without any taking any pain meds. No Oxy, no Tylenol, no nothing. I wonder if I'm actually crazy or if my pain tolerance is higher than most. Sure I've got discomfort but it's not near as bad enough to make me want to take anything. I have however discovered something odd today and that is my incision site itches really bad. I don't want to scratch it for fear of ripping out my stitches but patting it doesn't get rid of the itch. It's become kind of frustrating. I've showed so I know I'm clean. I'm hoping it goes away soon. My big "to do" of the day was crutching a short distance (a whole two houses) down the street while my mother walked with me. She's a big believer in getting some sun. While it seemed dumb to me to walk around the neighborhood (I would have preferred Lenox Mall) I think that it was good for me. Admittedly a little more difficult than I was expecting arms and upper body wise but at this point anything that feels remotely close to working out is something I need to be doing regularly. I'm ready for some freedom. To get out and live live again. My follow up app on Feb 9th can't come soon enough. Until then I'll be twiddling my thumbs and laughing at WatchCut "Truth or Drink" videos. If you aren't familiar with what I'm talking about please YouTube them. They've been really my only source of laughter for the past two days aside from some small banter with my parents. Also to the friend whose texted me religiously everyday since I've had my surgery, Thank You. You know who you are and it means more than you know. End post.