Terrance
I saw the boss writing in a book one day, I asked her what it was. She said it was a diary. Heh, my ma always told me I should keep a diary, but it never seemed important. Now I really wish I had. When everything went to hell, I guess sometimes thinking about the good times is the only thing that keeps me going. Like poker night with Sal, Jim, and Andy, heh, used to clean those guys out every week. I should see if I can get a poker game going with our group. Just need some cards. Or the time I went skinny dipping with my boo and we almost got caught by the hotel staff. Heh…nah, the past isn’t the only thing I guess, but one of the big things…Was that maybe someday life’d be normal again, you know uh…legal pad?
The other thing that has kept me going is how much people need me. I mean, not to toot my own horn, but since Rowyn died, I’ve picked so many bullets out of the boss, and sewed up so many wounds…Might not go into danger with them, but I’m happy to have my place supporting them from the back. I mean…when I first met them, I thought “What the fuck is up with these crazy white people?” But…I dunno man, it’s like…inspiring, like just how much the boss refuses to give up, how she encourages us all when I can tell, on those times she comes in shot up, stabbed, bruised, I can tell she just wants to break down sometimes, but she doesn’t. I think that’s another reason I stick with them.
The boss isn’t it either, Jonas reminds me of my great uncle Moses. If Alyssa is the person who inspires everyone, Jonas is the one who keeps them afloat emotionally and protects them. I mean, old guy has even helped me out once or twice. He protects us and I really can’t ask for much more from anybody. Can see it in his eyes that he cares, he’d have been a great doctor.
Miles is a weird ass cracker, I mean, he means well, like all of them mean well. But he’s a bit nuts. Just like…I’ve seen him stand in place, staring at the sky for hours. It can’t be healthy right? He doesn’t get hurt much, so I haven’t had many chats with him.
Shit, guess this is more of a thought log than a diary. But…I don’t say much. I’ve been told since med school that it’s good to get feelings out, and I guess if I die or something they can figure out what I thought of them. Whatever. It’s my diary; I’ll write what I’ll want.
Ed’s a nice girl, a little weird, and you know, a miracle of modern XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX that arm of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and what the fuck is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real roXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Guess Alyssa will have to be it’s doctor, I’m worthless for that.
Mmm…Thinking about death. I know I shouldn’t. It’s just so hard not to. I mean, writing it just above really reminded me. I’m not tough like Alyssa, or some weird Wizard like Jack. I’m a hell of a doctor, I mean, I studied abroad. Don’t uh, really remember much of the language, but I learned a lot about medicine. But that doesn’t help against bullet wounds or disease, bites…Hm.
Look, if any of you find this on my dead body…if it’s up and around, put it down would you? Sorry I wasn’t tough enough to survive. I really hope that you guys are alright, and don’t let my passing drag you down. You’re awesome people. You’ll be alright. Keep moving and don’t you ever give up alright?
Personal request, if I die, there’s a locket I keep on me, it’s got a picture of my little sister in it, keep an eye out for her, take her in if you meet her. Her name’s Flora and she lived with my folks. I hope they are alright, and I’ve been keeping an eye out for them, but if I’m dead, I can’t really do that anymore. Just uh…Do what you can alright?
Jeez, I didn’t know how much writing a diary really can bring a guy down, I think I’ll take a little break and write some more later. It’s kinda nice, but looks like they are coming out of the lumber mill, and they are pretty torn up. Gotta do my thing.
Terrance Mensah