JUST A LITTLE DOSE OF LOVE FOR YOU ALL
Let me just say my peace before I write my piece:
I am not back from hiatus. As a matter of fact, think of me as a unicorn on Tumblr -- I will only post when I’m feeling slightly inspired which is, sadly, very rare nowadays. Technically it’s not very sad because I am actually very happy with my life right now. I’m just extremely lazy and not motivated to post on here.
I would prefer that you do not ask me about my season of ‘Are You The One?’ but if you absolutely cannot resist, feel free to shoot me a message. I will probably punch my computer (it’s a fucking piece of shit anyway), hate you for a mere 60 seconds and most likely ignore you BUT I will assure you that I read just about every message…so don’t feel totally ignored.
Lastly – ONLY because I know that someone is going to ask me – I am not dating Chris. I will never date Chris again. I do not like Chris. So if I am over it, you should be as well. Guys, lets not be naïve, it was a reality television show. Yes there is the glitz and the glamour, and yes, momentarily we all get caught up and blinded by it. Once that aspect disappears, a lot of other things disappear as well (such as my feelings for Chris) and it is back to actual reality. I wish that I could explain reality television to you without sounding like an asshole but you’ll never believe me until you get to experience for yourself…which may be never, so I’m basically just an asshole.
Anyway! I’ve missed you all and still appreciate every single one of you more than you’ll ever know. Let me give you a brief update on my life.
Yes, I finally made the move to Los Angeles! I’ve been out in California for about 5 months now, living in Hollywood. Feel free to stalk around the area and try to find me, I’m always down to say what’s up but I usually never leave my apartment…so there’s that. If you’ve been stalking my social media you know that Dillan is my roommate and we definitely like to confuse everyone and pretend that we are dating BUT I can assure you that we are not. He is an amazing human being but we are just good friends. Truthfully, if he didn’t move out here with me, I would have gone insane after the first month of being out here. LA will fucking eat your soul.
I am currently unemployed. Being on MTV is all fun and games until you put it on your resume and no employer takes you seriously! I also do not know what direction I want to take in my career. Do I want to work in the music industry? Do I want to host events or shows? Do I want to write for professional blogs or magazines? Do I want to write a fucking novel? It gives me anxiety that I haven’t figured out what path that I need to be on at 25 – seriously, when the fuck am I going to grow up? Anyway, I’m open to hearing what path you guys think I should take so shoot your suggestions to my inbox.
(I just farted on my pillow and now I’m freaking out. If I wake up with pink eye, I’ll let you guys know. Testing that theory tonight.)
^ so I think that’s a great segway for my big news!
I have found my other half out here in Los Angeles. I have told my friends and family for years now that the reason why relationships haven’t worked out for me was that the person I was meant to be with was out here. Now by no means am I saying that I’m going to marry the guy – hell, I’m sure I’ve called multiple guys I’ve my other half – but I will say that I have never been treated so well by anyone that I have ever dated in my past, like he treats me now.
I read an article that encouraged people to fall in love quickly and with many different people. Being in love is something that’s in the mind; you literally can convince yourself that you’re in love with anyone. Falling in love is more of an act of obsession. Falling in love is a phrase you use when you cannot describe exactly how you’re feeling about someone. I’m falling in love with my boyfriend, granted its only been two months, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t in love with him already. He’s a rare breed of man: he’s selfless, he appreciates me, he isn’t afraid to be completely open with his feelings and he isn’t afraid to fall in love with me too. I am a very lucky woman.
With that being said, loving someone is completely different than falling in love/being in love. It is easy to fall in love but loving a person is more complex than just saying three words. Loving a person is being able to appreciate them entirely, embracing their flaws and molding their lifestyle with your own in order to better yourself. Loving a person is going the extra mile for them – waking up in the morning a half hour early to make sure they have a hot cup of coffee before their eight hour workday. Loving someone is knowing that you would want them to be happy no matter the circumstance. I hope that one day I will be able to experience something so powerful and so beautiful as it is to love someone. I hope that I am already on the right track.
Like I said, you can fall in love with as many people as you want but to truly experience what its like to love someone, is a very rare event. So don’t be scared to fall in love, you never know what else it can lead to.
Until next time you guys…
PS: I didn't proof read this, so I probably sound like a huge jackass but SWAG.
PSS: Feel free to send me questions and nice things and mean things!
PSSS: Also, thoughts on the new season?
