Shawn Ellefson

My name is Shawn Ellefson. I'm the guitar player and founder of Immaculate Destiny, the fastest, most technically proficient band in the world! We're gonna show New York exactly what we're made of, get a huge record deal and take over the fucking music industry! Beyond music, I like to party, get fucked up, have sex and basically live the rock and roll lifestyle. If you have any questions ask me and if I'm in the mood, I might answer them.

[audrey-abbott]

Sometimes… I forget what a great writer you are, especially when it means tugging on someone’s heartstrings. Yes, Shawn. Yes. I want to give this a chance, too. But if we’re going to make this work, and I need this to work… The drinking, the drugs, it has to stop. No matter what I feel for you, for your own good and for us, I need you to stop. Can you do that?

Well, it’s either spend my days singing in the background or center stage as an up-and-coming artist. Besides, it’s not like it’ll be forever, or change my career path… It’s just something for now. I want to do it—with you.

[shawnellefson]

...I can't promise you perfection Nat. But I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to be better. For you. And..I guess for me too. 

Y-You do? Well...I wasn't expecting that. Let's go make that call then.

[audrey-abbott]

  That’s… That’s very romantic. But, you want to be with me? Are you positively sure that’s a good idea? I know that, on the outside, I’m drop dead gorgeous and insanely talented. But on the inside, I’m a mess; neurotic, self-centered, ambitious control freak who doesn’t know how to have fun. And to top it all off, I’m not good at relationships. In fact, my track record shows that everything took a backseat to my career. Are you—Just, are you sure that you want to be with me, knowing that? And knowing how different you and I are? Knowing that you and I are completely opposites?

What—Why didn’t you talk to me first?! Shawn, opportunities like these are one in a hundred. Maybe it isn’t as unique as the starring role in a musical on Broadway, but it’s an opportunity that I would have wanted to know about.

[shawnellefson]

Do you honestly think I didn't consider that? Please Natalie, I know how egocentric and self absorbed you are. I know that your career will always come before me. And I know beyond all else that our chance of success is about one in a million. But see the thing is Natalie, I don't care. I know all of your flaws and I like you not despite them, but because of them. You are the one and only person I have a shot of being happy with and I don't want to let that chance slide. Because our chance of success may be one in a million, but to me you are the only one in the the world. 

So what? Are you saying you do want to do it? Cause I can still call him back and accept it. He said he'd have us anytime if we changed our minds.

[audrey-abbott]

Witty, I didn’t know sobriety suddenly made you a key-note conversationalist. A shot… With me? Because you and I are… Feel free to finish my sentence here.

WHAT?!

[shawnellefson]

Technically I can't finish your sentence. By adding a word I would be starting my own, not finishing yours. But what we are depends on you. I want to be with you. I've decided that much. Thus the soul crushing attempt at sobriety.  You really think I would be trying this if I didn't want to be with you?  Ha, no. See, the way I see it, you're the only thing that makes me feel like I don't need to drink to get through the day. I figured I had to make a choice; you or the booze..... and I chose you. But if I made the wrong choice then please feel free to tell me now so that I don't have to endure this horrible craving for alcohol anymore.

Yeah we got offered a record deal. But I figured you wouldn't want to lower yourself to that standard, so I turned it down.

[audrey-abbott]

  Trying to behave? That’s a new development—I like it. Did you… Did you stop drinking completely?

Well, on top of the pile of disappointments where my career is concerned, my mom and mama are coming into town in a few weeks. Which is a problem, since I’ll have to explain to them that even after two years of putting me through the best performing arts university and financing everything… I’m still just a chorus line dancer.

[shawnellefson]

No Nat, I only stopped drinking alcohol. I need to drink liquids to survive, otherwise I'll go through this thing they call dehydration.. But where alcohol is concerned yes, I've given it up completely. It sucks, but not nearly as much as the alternative of knowing I don't deserve you. At least this way, clean and sober I have shot.... God..I wish I could have a shot right now.

Your moms are coming? Well you'll be able to tell them you got offered a record deal that you aren't gonna take, because you did. I got the call this morning. Old Time Records wants to sign us. Us being the key word. One of their talent agents saw us perform that one night. So that's something to tell them anyway.

[audrey-abbott]

  Anything I can do to help take the edge off?

[shawnellefson]

There's nothing you can do here. Hahaha.  But you  can sit down and keep me company so that I don't punch anyone's face in. I'm trying to "behave"

Hey...is everything okay? You look...stressed.

[shawnellefson]

This whole sobriety thing is harder than I thought it would be. Ugh.. word of advice to everyone, don't give me a reason to punch you or I will, cause this sucks

[audrey-abbott]

You're One In A Million | Shawn and Natalie

[audrey-abbott]

  Somewhat startled by his sudden movements, Natalie follows wordlessly in suit. Anywhere reasonably private would do for her at this point, so long as she had him. It was a dangerous thing, desire. It is the only thing that can make you disregard all logic and sanity. In many ways, they were alike; musically inclined, driven yet lonely souls. Together, they made beautiful music. Music that could melt even the coldest of souls. But would that be enough? Natalie, being the neurotic, type-A personality that she is, often looked at every example provided to her. Would that be enough for them to sustain whatever they had, beyond friendship and what was beginning to form? The question disappears from her mine when he begins climbing the ladder, as if challenging her to disregard all sanity (and safety, given that they were walking up a random fire escape) for a crime of passion. With a coy smirk, Natalie extends her arms and follows behind him. “I want this now—I could care less where it was,” that was always the beauty of being such a blunt human being, she never feared letting her desires known. Upon reaching the rooftop, she feels New York city become silent. Maybe it was the distance from the ground, or that they were together. But it’s silent apart from the music dancing between them—and she knows that this was the start of something.

Natalie takes a quick glance around the city, noting the lights and the serenity of it all. The city that consumed her and left her so alone… And now she felt like she wasn’t a part of it, but somewhere completely separate from Manhattan, with someone who never made her feel alone again. She takes the silence for a moment, allowing it to fill her in, before she turns around and stares into his light eyes. He’s handsome, ruggedly so, like a dark knight or an anti-hero. She strokes his face with her hands, feeling the slight stubble against his jaw. Everything was quiet now, she didn’t need to rush with him. Chewing down on her lower lip, she eyes him up and down with unrelenting desire. She wanted every part of him at this moment, with the wind coursing through her body. Purposefully, she reaches for the buttons of his shirt and unbuttons them at a seductively slow rate, keeping her eyes on him and a playful yet cool expression on her face. Unbuttoning the last button, she slides it off of Shawn’s arms, the warmth of his skin welcoming her. Closing the space between them, she presses her warm lips against the crook of his neck, nibbling on the soft skin as her hands now make their way to his belt buckle.

[shawnellefson]

As the two young musicians, who had been thrust into emotions they had not been looking for, reached the top of the building, Shawn took a moment to absorb the sight: Thousands of buildings, lit up against the night sky, could be seen stretching high above the ground for miles. As Shawn looked out at the city he had come to with the hopes of getting a record deal, and remembered the success and the fan base that he had left behind in San Francisco, he realized for the first time that it felt worthwhile. It was true that he hadn't yet found the success he had been so sure would be his once he came to New York, but  he had found something, that was in a lot of ways, a million times better. He had never let himself fall in love with anyone before, but as he gazed upon the city that never sleeps, and then returned his gaze to the girl who he shared the rooftop with, he felt like even if the record deal never came, coming to New York had been the best choice he had ever made. 

Letting Natalie undo the buttons of his shirt, Shawn gazed upon her face with a smile that betrayed him, showing that inside he was slightly nervous. Appearing calm, collected and without nerves was something he was normally very good at; he had to be with the career he had chosen. But trying though he was to appear as calm and without nerves as he always did, Shawn couldn't manage to do it. These nerves were unlike any he had felt before. He wanted what was about to come to be enough for Natalie; he didn't want to disappoint her. He had never disappointed anyone in bed before, but he had also never cared about anyone else enough to be nervous about it. When Natalie finished pulling his shirt from his torso, he could feel the cool night air touching his skin. Pulling her closer to him, Shawn slowly pulled her shirt from the bottom her her waist over her head. Planting his lips longingly against hers again, he shoved his nerves to the side. It was like a kiss of courage, and it made him feel ready. Feeling Natalie's hands at his belt, Shawn placed his own on each side of her hips, before placing the tips of his fingers inside the waistline of her skirt. Opening his eyes and staring into her daringly, a mischievous smiles spread across his face.

Reaching farther down into her skirt, he let the  fingers of his right hand find their destination. Pulling her closer to him with his free hand, Shawn kissed her hard and passionately again, using his index of his right hand to pleasure her. 

[sarpelui-archive]

One of the bartenders at the club apparently thought it would be a good idea to drink themselves under the table on my dime….Useless humans, I swear.

[shawnellefson]

The world is full of idiots. And typically they get worse under the influence of alcohol. Speaking as a guy who has been the idiot more times than I can possibly remember, I would know.  

I don't normally do what I'm here to do; actually I never do what I'm here to do. But I want to apologize. For my shitty behavior. 

[audrey-abbott]

You're One In A Million | Shawn and Natalie

[audrey-abbott]

  His warm lips moving along hers felt infinitely better than Natalie ever anticipated a kiss to feel. There were little to no barriers between them. They were both raw, open; quite a feat for two people supposedly “passionate” yet so deep into their own shells. His body is warm against hers, causing a tingling sensation to run through her body. Perhaps if her emotions didn’t swallow Natalie whole, she could comprehend the true weight of her actions. This man, Shawn Ellefson, wasn’t someone she should be involved with. Both her mothers would have a fit to find out that Natalie was involved in a man like this; non-Ivy League, white collar professional with a clean record sans drugs, alcohol abuse, and more. He was, by the very definition, a bad boy. But how could someone that made her feel so whole, who understand passion and music with the same fervor she did, be so bad? They had something; fire. It was a burning attraction with affection that drew them in. As he pulls away, she feels light headed. Her lips still tingle, recalling his against hers, and her body still shook with unyielding desire. Shawn’s light eyes seem so much lighter under the dark ambiance of the bar, striking Natalie’s attention and sending a jolt of energy down her spine. “You better not be,” Natalie returns bitingly, her voice raspy and light with a teasing smile on her face. By no means did Natalie share his experiences with bedding women. Yes, Natalie had her fair share of both men and women behind closed doors. Never one for relationships (but open to her desires), it was unsurprising that Natalie had an intriguing list. But something about Shawn; perhaps the way he treated her with such care and adoration, made her feel safe. With him… She was one in a million.

Taking his hand into hers with a seductive smile curved on her face, the very one that convinced those around her that she was more suited to be a model than a singer, she pulls him towards the door until they’re out in the streets of New York City. Without a moment’s hesitation, she presses her lips into his again. Their bodies come close together, Natalie pressing her chest against his and feeling the heat of his body. Her hands sensually slide down from his shoulders into his leather jacket, feeling the sheer fabric of his shirt underneath. His hard chest causes goosebumps to run down her arms. Her hands stop right at his belt, tugging him even closer and feeling the sensations of her body come alive. “Mh… Shawn,” Natalie moans against his lips in between kisses, barely acknowledging the side glances sent to them by the people on the streets. “Somewhere… Now,” she practically begs. She needs him. She wants him. Never has she felt such an overwhelming desire to have someone in her life.

[shawnellefson]

For the first time in his memory, Shawn was ignoring his demons, without the use of drugs or alcohol. Instead, it was Natalie, the first person he had ever truly and deeply cared about, that made them go away. As they kissed passionately, Shawn felt truly alive. He felt open and real. With Natalie, there was no need for the barriers or defense mechanisms. The walls he had erected to protect himself came crashing down around him as they embraced, and even if he could only ever be this real with her, that was far more than he ever thought he would be able to be with anyone. As the two of them held each other tight in their embrace, Shawn could feel two types of desire; one highly familiar to him, the other completely foreign. He had felt the sexual desire before, even if it was never to the level he was feeling now. But the desire to be with Natalie, to have a meaningful relationship, and to be emotionally involved with her, was something he had never felt for any other girl before.

The request of Natalie to have him then and now was not  exactly surprising to Shawn, but it was pleasantly reassuring. He had been suppressing the thought that his desires for her might be stronger than hers for him. It pleased him to know she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. Forcing himself to break away from her lips took every ounce of strength and self control Shawn possessed. In that moment, it felt as though they were not meant to be separated under any circumstances. Glancing around the street, he tried to find a place where they could go to indulge in their desire. Noticing a fire escape in an alley, on the side of a building across the street, Shawn looked up to see how high it went. Seeing that it reached the rooftop, he grinned in spite of himself. Pulling Natalie behind him, Shawn crossed the road, reaching the alley. Climbing up the ladder, he looked down and gestured Natalie to follow. "If this is too dingy for you then please feel free to give me a suggestion. But it was the most immediately available, and I figured you wouldn't want to wait any more than I do." 

[bradley-walsh-deactivated201309]

  What is great?

[shawnellefson]

When people understand sarcasm. Meaning you, are oh so great.

[davecampbellnyc-deactivated2013]

  Did something terrible happen? Or is something actually great and you’re just saying it strange? Did you win the lottery?

[shawnellefson]

Somebody clearly isn't completely familiar with the concept of sarcasm. Yes I totally won the lottery. Isn't that marvelous?

[lisetteroberts]

  Better things to do than be talked down to for a light hearted joke? Yes.

[shawnellefson]

I'd talk down to you anyway sweetheart. That's what I do. I'm the egotistical asshole rock star. But please, feel free to leave then. Actually, you know what? You stay, I'll go, I was just finishing up anyway. 

[lisetteroberts]

  You’re sarcasm is showing…

[shawnellefson]

What can I say? It just doesn't like to stay hidden.Tell me, as helpful as your stating of the obvious is, don't you have better things to do with your time? 

[shawnellefson]

Well..this is just fucking great.

[audrey-abbott]

You're One In A Million | Shawn and Natalie

[audrey-abbott]

.

I’m Here, for once, Natalie truly believed him. Not that many ever tried to change her mind in the first place. From the get go, she was aware that she had thrown every possibility of having someone for her dream. Yet here Shawn was, someone so different and so like her, aiding her at one of her lowest points simply because she asked—because he wanted to. The next flood of words sent Natalie’s heart beating rapidly. For so long, those words have only ever been uttered by herself or her mothers. But never in her life would she imagine having someone hold her and say it to her, with absolute conviction. And the fact that he was saying it without shame, made her heart melt even further. But when he says what she feared, that there had to be something else outside of Broadway, Natalie begins unsure. What was life outside of Broadway? Surely she didn’t know. Would she give up everything for a chance at knowing? And then her question is answered, by the adoration and passion in his tone, and in his kiss. His kiss, so different from the last. It’s almost angry, as if begging Natalie to see what he saw. It struck her bones like lighting, taking the wind out of her. Maybe it was the swirl of alcohol or the emotional turmoil (or maybe it was what she refused to accept), but she felt herself responding almost immediately. It’s what she needed, the comfort and perhaps the affection that she had been deprived of for so long.

But he’s pulling away—damn it, why did he do that?—and steps away from her. Her eyes flutter open, relaxed by the passion of his kiss. But seeing him walk away gives her a decision; stay and wallow in her isolation, or remedy it by taking a step towards him. He was imperfect, so was she. He smoked too much, she has never lit up. His specialty was metal, hers was show tunes. But despite their differences, he truly saw her—just as she saw all of his merits. The good man hiding underneath the surface. Taking her drink, she presses it against her lips and takes one final gulp, taking it all in. Placing it on the bar table, she rises from her seat and makes her way towards him. “Shawn!” Calling him out, Natalie takes his arm and turns him around. Staring into his eyes daringly, she barely blinks before speaking again. “I… I want…” Placing both of her hands against his neck, she runs her thumbs along his jaw. She wasn’t drunk. Uninhibited by the alcohol, perhaps. But not drunk. Natalie had a clear view of what she wanted, what she needed. And because she was a Robins-Grant, she went out and got it. “I want you,” Tilting her head upwards, she presses her lips against his, this time with absolute certainty and need.  Her arms slide down towards his hips and bring him closer, kissing him with much heat and passion.

[shawnellefson]

Figures I would screw up the only good thing I had going. Shawn reflected with bitter distaste for himself. As he moved towards the exit of the bar, he felt certain that Natalie would never speak to him again, and he could not even blame her. He speculated that by forcing a kiss on her, he had done something she would never forgive him for. I let my emotions get the best of me.  He thought grimly. This is why I've never been emotionally involved with anyone.  As the reality of what he had just done set in, Shawn consciously decided to go home and drowned his own sorrows the best way he knew how: alcohol. But as he approached the door, her voice calling his name brought him to a halt. Feeling her grasp on his arm, he turned around, preparing himself to deal with the look of rage he expected to see on her face. But when he turned, he did not see the angry face that he had anticipated. 

As Natalie tried to express what it was that she wanted, Shawn wondered what it could be. His heart sank when he considered the possibility that she never wanted to see him again. There was look of daring, almost defiance in her eyes, and he was sure that she was about to tell him off. But for the second time that day, his anticipation proved to be off. As he heard the words I want you come from her mouth he was sure he must be imagining them. But as she pulled him close to her and placed her lips against his he knew he had heard right. Kissing her back at full force, it was as it had felt that first time they kissed, the night they had performed together; it felt like standing on top of the world with someone there who actually wanted to know him.  He never wanted to break away from her again, but realizing that they were kissing in the middle of a bar, Shawn pulled himself away reluctantly and looked down into her immaculate face. Grinning down at her, Shawn felt sure so long as he was with her he would never be lonely again. "Ask and you shall receive" He smirked, winking at her and gesturing toward the door. "Let's get out of here, and go somewhere a bit more private. I'm not even close to done  kissing you yet" 

[audrey-abbott]

You're One In A Million | Shawn and Natalie

[audrey-abbott]

  With a sad smile on her face, Natalie nods slowly and returns to her seat. Quietly, she takes hold of the coaster, bending it until it’s in half. She came to this bar yearning to talk her problems out; about how she was doubting her dreams, doubting herself, and doubting her potential. Surely Shawn would understand. Underneath his rugged, arrogant exterior there was a man with fears and insecurities much like herself. But seeing him now, and recalling his own praise for her abilities, she feels almost embarrassed to admit the thoughts buzzing through her head. “Thank you… For the drinks, and for coming out here tonight. Believe it or not, I don’t have that many friends,” she says with high sarcasm, staring down at her empty glass for one moment. “But that’s my fault, isn’t it?” With a bitter laugh, Natalie faces the drink placed in front of her and smiles gratefully. “I have medals and certificates… And not a single person in this bloody world, outside from my mom’s, who actually cares about me and doesn’t want to strangle me half the time!” Natalie could feel the words falling out of her mouth and onto Shawn, but she was frustrated. The world seemed to be closing in on her, and she found the need to express all of her frustrations. “What… What is wrong with me?” She whispers underneath her breathe, her glassy blue eyes finally turning to stare into Shawn’s. “I try so hard… And I want it, more than anyone wants anything… I work and I work, and it’s like—It’s like no matter how hard I try, I’ll never have my dreams.” With a sad laugh, she shakes her head and buries her face in the palm of her hands. The idea that everything she ever wanted would never be hers was unnerving, but not as much as the next words that would come from her mouth.

"And a part of me wonders, if I still truly want it… Or if it’s something I’ve committed to, so I don’t worry about the fact that I’m twenty-three, and I essentially dress like a striper and sing ‘la la la’ in the back ground. Or the fact that I have no friends. Or that…” Natalie looks up from her hands, cheeks pink at the admission; “Or that I haven’t had sex in months. It’s been months! I don’t want a relationship, which is worrisome in itself… But I haven’t had fucking sex in months and it’s like… I’ve given up so much, yet have so little to show for it!” With an air of finality, she stops and takes the drink before her, unabashedly drowning it in a matter of gulps. After years of banning the consumption of alcohol beyond holidays, to have liquor swirling through her body and ridding her of her inhibitions was a welcome change. 

[shawnellefson]

Stepping up to the bar, Shawn spoke to the bar tender. "Give me the usual" He said to the man, who nodded in understanding, turning to get Shawn his drink. Turning back to Natalie, Shawn smiled and shrugged. "I've been in here a lot" He told her truthfully. "So tell me what's on your mind" 

Listening to her words, Shawn felt a strong desire to hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. Refraining from doing so, he listened to every word she said, never interrupting or showing any indication of having something to say. He wanted to let her get it all out, knowing it would be better for her if she did. When she finally finished, Shawn slowly and tenderly took her face in his hands. "Listen to me" He said gently, forcing his pale blue gaze into her glassy blue orbs."Maybe it was true in the past that no one else cared about you. But those days are over Natalie, because I'm here." Letting go of her face, Shawn took the drink in his hand that the bar tender brought him and took a swig. Turning to look at Natalie again, Shawn saw a girl whose dreams were crashing around her. He understood how she must feel; he knew if the same thing happened to him that was happening to her, his life would be a complete mess. At that moment he wanted more than anything to let her know that she still had a chance, and that it would all be better. "Natalie" He said quietly,  hesitating to try to find the right words. He thought for a long moment, before deciding to simply let them come out the way they came to him. "You are the most amazingly talented musician I have ever met." He began, feeling to passion boiling up inside of him, before it finally unloaded. " And if Broadway can't see that, then screw them! You don't need them Natalie. You're beautiful, talented, driven and determined. And I believe in you. I believe that the world will know your name, because one way or another you will find a way to persevere. If things don't work out with Broadway, you'll find another way to let the world see your talent, because this is what you were born to do." And before he knew what he was doing, he was wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him. He was kissing her with a passion he did not understand, but as quickly as he did it, he pulled himself away. Hating himself, he turned away from her, scared to see her rage. "I-I'm sorry" He said with his back to her. Picking up his glass and draining it, Shawn stood up to leave.

[charlotte---parker-deactivated2]

Well, I'm sick.

[charlotte---parker-deactivated2]

  I’m not walking around in the city. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[shawnellefson]

 Either way you're not in your bed. Instead you are here.. complaining. And you know, as much fun as it is to listen to you go on about how you're apparently dying, I think I'm just gonna go find something to do that doesn't make me want to shank my eyes out. If you want to stop crying about your apparently impending doom, you're welcome to join me.