The airport scene (Mike & El hiding their hurt feelings)
El at the airport notices the card (for the flowers) says "from mike' .She's hurt but fakes she's not upset. But later brings up all the letters he sent her that say "from mike" ( which imply he doesn't romantically love her).
Meanwhile mike sees Will's painting (supposedly for a girl Will "likes"). And mike's secretly upset but then acts like he's not and just says coldly "cool". Later they makeup and stare longing at eachother and say "cool". Then Will grabs the painting We're getting a romantic painting scene.
El was upset a piece of paper showed mike didn't romantically love her. And mike was upset a piece of paper implied Will didn't romantically love him. The drama!!
A needlessly thorough breakdown of Mike's erotic power fantasy, and season 4's obsession with embarrassing secrets.
We already know Mike's bedroom in season 4 is queer-coded, but this poster alone is loaded with homoeroticism, and I had to write about it.
Before I do, I want to point out that bedrooms are associated with privacy, and as such, they should not only showcase a character's personality and interests, but their private thoughts.
Mike has multiple posters in his room, but this one specifcally hangs above the head of his bed where he sleeps, meaning it reflects his inner thoughts, dreams (subconscious) and desires.
On an antique website, this poster was sold as "Psychedelic Wizard Summoning Beast Wicca Poster"
Here is a high-definition image of the poster for your viewing pleasure:
Colours
Firstly, the most prominent colours featured are red and blue, but yellow and green also make an appearance. All four of these colours are connected to Byler.
Blue and green are Mike's colours, and red and yellow are Willâs colours.
Iâve made a post which discusses the significance of red and blue to Mike and Willâs relationship here.
Although blue is Mike's representative colour, Will the Wise has already been depicted wielding blue magic through both Willâs painting and this official poster artwork.
Therefore, the wizard in this poster represents Will.
This leads me to another theme of this poster:
The Occult
The devil is in the details after all!
We have a wizard (Will the Wise), wearing blue and red robes, while summoning a demon from a red cauldron which emits blue plumes of smoke.
A cauldron signifies alchemy, which is like an ancient and proto-scientific form of chemistry.
Funny, because Mike and Will have good chemistry, and as seen in the examples above, red and blue seem to represent that chemistry.
The cauldron has a pentagram drawn on it, which is where the Wiccan symbolism comes in. There is also a ritual circle drawn on the ground, a common practice in Wicca to summon spirits. So this is defintely the summoning of a demon.
And yes, I do believe this is depicting a demon (of sorts), and not a dragon.
Partly because we already associate demons with summoning rituals, but also because when I completed a reverse image search of the poster to find the original, I found similar depictions of demons: large, muscular, winged and horned. It also somewhat resembles the Balrog from Lord of the Rings.
(Which was defeated by a wizard no less!)
Some examples included below:
This theme of the occult foreshadows one of the plot-lines of season 4: The Satanic Panic, Mike's association to the Hellfire Club, and the belief that Hellfire is a satanic cult.
In fact, despite the club having multiple members, Jason seems to focus on Mike second to Eddie when he begins his witch hunt.
The demon in this poster represents Mike.
Like many, my first reading of this poster was that Mike was simply into buff dudes (who could blame him?). But because of Will's association to spell-casters, and the themes of season 4, I'm now inclined to believe the demon represents Mike himself.
However, the physicality of the demon may still be important. Yes, it's slightly homoerotic, but it could also be referring to Mike's potential struggle with body image and expectations of masculinity.
Mike is mocked for his body type this season, and although he didn't overhear, I imagine he's recieved similar comments before.
He also compares himself to Lois Lane, and El to Superman. On the surface, there's nothing wrong with this gender-bent dynamic at all. It's a fun subversion of the usual trope!
But the thing is, Mike doesn't want to be Lois Lane. In his fantasy escapism, he's Mike the Brave: a courageous paladin/ knight.
And speaking of brave knights and fantasies...
Power Fantasies: Heteroerotic vs. Homoerotic Desire
I concede that this demon does resemble a dragon, and that choice could be intentional
A dragon may subconsciously invoke the traditional male power fantasy of the brave knight who slays the beast in order to rescue the beautiful maiden.
This trope has already been referenced in season 2 through the arcade game Dragon's Lair, which foreshadowed the love triangle between Max, Lucas and Dustin.
Mike understands how the whole heterosexual thing works: He's supposed to be the heroic knight, and his love interest (El in this instance) is supposed to be the beautiful maiden.
Now, El is both beautiful and a maiden, but she's not in need of rescuing. In fact, that's another plotline of season 4: Mike reckoning with the fact that El does not need him, like how Princess Daphne needs the knight.
Mike and the Cali crew quite literally go on a rescue mission for her, only to find that she's escaped her captors herself.
(Of course, they do still rescue her from being stranded in a desert, but the lack of action makes it less of a rescue mission and more of a chauffeur situation).
El being strong on her own is a good thing, but Mike's frustration and confusion about this does highlight something important: He doesn't really know how to be in a heterosexual relationship if he's not performing it.
Their relationship doesn't look like how he thinks it should to others - and that makes him anxious.
From Mike's perspective, if he can't be the brave knight and El won't act as the helpless maiden, then how else is he supposed to act? And how long until others start to figure out that he's not who he pretends to be?
And the thing is, Mike likes that El is powerful! He genuinley admires her. It's only when he tries to figure out how that fits into their romantic relationship that he gets nervous.
This trope doesn't just provide Mike with a social script for what a heterosexual relationship might look like, though. It's also a very common heterosexual power fantasy.
And yes, it is sexual in nature:
The knight exerts his dominance and showcases his physical prowess by conquering the beast through violence.
Violence is associated with hyper-masulinity, as well as sex itself: they're both visceral bodily experiences, that arise from arousal or excitement, and end in physical reward.
Once the knight has vanquished the dragon, he is rewarded with the beautiful maiden: his sexual conquest.
If it sounds misogynistic and crass, that's because it is. But I'm going to do something I rarely ever do for straight men: cut them some slack.
Because a power fantasy is not meant to be politically correct! It's meant to be arousing and self-indulgent.
It's also meant to be a little bit embarrassing, and something we usually keep to ourselves (or express through fiction and metaphor).
Some heterosexual women may indulge in their own sexual fantasies of being rescued or ravished by muscular menâKaren Wheeler, for example.
But Mike didn't care much for Princess Daphne, and his poster doesn't depict a dragon being slainâso what is his fantasy?
Looking back to Mike's poster, its imagery is very different to the knight slaying the beast and resucing the maiden, even if it may subconsciously invoke it.
It's missing two key (heterosexual) components: the knight, and the beautiful maiden.
There's just the spell-caster and the beast: both masculine entities, who are not competing, but rather... collaborating.
The beast here is not dangerous or threatening, even if it appears large, menacing and is rippled with muscle.
It's been intentionally summoned after all; it is still obedient and amenable to the much smaller wizard.
This is a subverted (queer) power fantasy!
The beast is not subdued through violence for the purpose of attaining a woman: The beast is instead subdued through magic (energy, intellect, attraction) for the purpose of... what exactly?
Well, you might summon a demon if you want to strike a deal (make a deal with the devil), meaning the demon has something the wizard wants.
In return for doing the wizard's bidding, the demon may possess the wizard's soul (a permament tie).
It's a mutual exchange of energy, and both parties are getting something out of it.
It's extremely high stakes, but (presumably) high reward.
A little bit like pursuing a homosexual relationship in a conservative small-town during the 1980s.
It's also incredibly taboo (due to the occult) and therefore erotic.
That's because this poster presents a homoerotic fantasy.
Let me break Mikeâs fantasy down for you:
The powerful and mesmerising wizard subdues (or tames?) the equally powerful and intimidating demon, so they can make a deal and do something considered sinful.
Neither is afraid of the other. Rather, they are excited about what they can accomplish together.
Once the bidding is complete, the demon then owns the wizardâs soul for eternity. The wizard knew what he was getting into though, and the benefits outweighed the risks.
Yowza!
We have sinning, equal power yet mutual submission, seduction and temptation (the wizard seduces and the demon tempts), and an eternal soul tie.
That is indeed an erotic fantasy.
Interestingly, in this fantasy Mike (the demon) appears physically larger and stronger than Will (the wizard), but Will still holds a certain power over him.
He's a spell-caster after all, and don't forget that a spell can also be referred to as a charm.
In fact, Charm Person has been an available spell type in dnd since it's first edition.
Basically, in Mike's power fantasy, it may be him who looks badass, but Will is the charming one with influence, and Mike is under his spell.
This fantasy appeals to Mike because it resolves him of his guilt and shame:
Mike is not the pursuer or initiator here, Will is: he's the summoner. Will is summoning him, and Mike is simply answering the call.
(While being depcited as a demon no less, which represents corruption, temptation and hedonism).
It also makes the fantasy less vulnerable:
If you have feelings for someone and you're not sure those feelings are returned, you might fantasize that those feelings are not only reciprocated, but reciprocated with enthusiasm.
Nothing screams enthusiam quite like an elaborate occultist ritual, or being willing to give up your soul.
It still has a very romantic element, though:
I think the whole being eternally bound to someone through a (demonic) contract thing is just a wild and fantastical metaphor for marriage and long-term commitment.
Itâs the romantically indulgent aspect of the fantasy: through this deal, Willâs soul (and therefore the crux of his being), will belong to Mike alone.
Subconsciously, this is what Mike wantsâsomething to tether and bind them together.
Force them together, even.
(And yes, I do interpret Mike as somewhat of a possessive lover, just not to an unhealthy extent. I mean, we all saw season 2, right?)
"But how does this fit into Mike's fantasy of being a heroic paladin?" I hear you ask.
Well, there's a difference between an escapist fantasy that makes one happy, and a fantasy that arouses.
Mike's happy fantasy is just like Will's: a world where they can be together with their friends, be the heroes of their own story, and fight against repression.
This is not that, however: this is a fantasy which both excites and frightens him.
However, that's all it really is: a fantasy.
It's not real, and it doesn't accurately represent Mike and Will's real life dynamic.
It's just a teenaged boy's secret romantic fantasy, that only he knows about. Hence why it is manifested inside of his bedroom, above the place he sleeps.
But the writer's love to give Mike a hard time.
Bedrooms and Privacy
Funnily enough, our first look at the poster occurs in a scene where Mike's privacy has been invaded.
Nancy barges into Mike's room while he is only partially dressed, and he appears quite flustered. He was reading El's letter, but it's the demon poster that's framed beside his head, representing his private and inner-most thoughts.
This scene is hilarious, but it's also quite pitiful. I have a fourteen year old brother myself, and when I visit home I never open his door without knocking.
Like Nancy, I might not care if I find him in his underpants (I changed his nappies when he was little), but I understand that for him... it would be mortifying.
It's exposure - and it's uncomfortable!
Mike's partial exposure here is not indecent (he's basically in his pajamas), but it still gets the point across: Nancy has barged in on Mike's alone time, and he feels embarrassed and exposed.
This parallels another scene with Dustin: His mother (almost) barges in on him doing something secret (changing his grades), so he pretends to be naked so she'll leave him alone.
She respects this, while wearing a look of fright and disgust.
And of course, another scene concerning Lucas: Erica threatening to tell Dustin the "gross" and embarrassing thing she found under his bed.
Season 4 has an obsession with exposing (or threatening to expose) embarrassing secrets!
All of these scenes either take place in a bedroom, or refer to a bedroom. They're also all about privacy being violated, or embarassing secrets being exposed.
Additionally, they're all accompanied by an innuendo, which is relevant:
If season 3 is about the party experiencing the metaphorical horrors of puberty, then season 4 is about the mortifying exposure of being within its throes.
We know what Dustin's embarrassing secret is: His D- in Latin.
We can also infer what Lucas' embarrassing secret is: probably something sexual, hence why Erica thinks it's gross.
But Mike's secret?
Well, it's not made clear. He was caught doing something perfectly innocent: reading a letter from El. What's embarrassing about that?
Nothing.
It all comes back to the homoerotic demon poster, I'm afraid, and the power fantasy that Mike has attached to it.
And Will also has a secret in his bedroom when we first see him:
The painting!
The thing is, Will brought it to the airport with the intention of giving it to Mike right away.
Eventually, he settles for giving it to Mike in the van (which had a lack of privacy), after the two had multiple scenes which utilized the interruption trope.
Itâs a recurring pattern this season: Mike and Will are interrupted just like Nancy interrupts Mike, Mrs. Henderson interrupts Dustin, and Erica interrupts Dustin and Lucas.
And honestly, I think the painting reveal would have played out very differently depending on the setting, with each location offering a different level of emotional vulnerability:
At the airport: a lighthearted gift, no speech needed.
In the van: a meaningful gift with a speechâbut it's only a half-truth.
In Will's bedroom: a deeply personal gift, with a speech that finally tells the full truthâbecause they have privacy.
Whereas Mike's room contains a homoerotic fantasy (the poster) that he considers an embarrassing secret, Will's room contains a homoromantic fantasy (the painting) that was always intended to be shared.
But secrets can't be contained forever, especially in a narrative setting. It's tension which boils to the surface.
In Mike and Will's case, that tension has been bubbling for multiple seasons now.
Both their secrets will inevitably be revealed in season 5. The only question is whether they'll finally get a little freaking privacy when it happens.
(And if Mike is able to accept that his secret isn't actually that embarrassing at all).
AND WHILE WEâRE ON THE SUBJECT of mikeâs closet being supernaturally destroyed. it wasnât exited confidently from the inside, it wasnât pried open gently by a dear friend. this is not gonna be a tender and cute âNancy, Iâm⊠Different.â Itâs going to be VIOLENT itâs going to be EXPLOSIVE and itâs going to be in-your-face obvious. Itâs going to leave a path of rubble in its wake and spew splinters on everything comforting. and it is not going to heal fast. iâm very excited for volume 2 ok.
it was really heartening to learn that the purpose of creating such a thick uterine lining during the menstrual period was to prevent the implantation of embryos rather than encourage them, and that our uterus is basically flushing out anything it deems unworthy during the period itself rather than âpunishingâ us for not being pregnant (which is how itâs usually framed). itâs almost as if your female body is more concerned with the protection and continuation of itself rather than being used as a procreative vessel.
the fact that weâve come to accept the idea that our reproductive organs are punishing us for not being continuously pregnant is proof of how deeply patriarchal brainwashing has convinced women that we are nothing but broodmares for âtheirâ children.
I take it all back; when I told you I wanted to be away from you forever, you know I didnât mean that right? When I said that I didnât love you at all, I just loved the thrill and danger of you, that being with you was like wondering through a funhouse of warped mirrors, know that I didnât mean that. When I say âI never want to see you againâ what I mean is that I am consumed by you, I am overcome by you, you are the most joyous thing Iâve ever seen. What I mean is that I am afraid of the wolf inside of me that is capable of howling your name again and again. I take it all back, the times I didnât leave a voicemail, when I called you a ragged, bloody thing, caught the bus home even though I could have lingered a little longer. Here it is, the knob of desire within me mouthing yes, a bird flapping its wings in the name of you, each knot in my spine rippling, arching toward you. I take it all back, the times we lay next to each other not touching but we could have, we should have. The blood in the bathtub, the broken sobs knocking the very life out of you, the rocks thrown at the window. The truth is, your hand is on my neck and Iâm all heat and shake and reaction. The truth is, when we were together it was like the beauty of rearranged furniture, like nothing else. The truth is Iâm going to spend forever trying to replicate that feeling.
jessica therese, âI Take It All Backâ (via contramonte)
youâre going to fall in love with a girl
with hair a little longer than mine, another writer-type with all sorts of ideas about things but perhaps a little less aggressive about them, youâre going to kiss her in the ways i taught you and youâre going to figure out some new ways too and when the two of you have sex, she will be just a little bit better at it than i ever have been
youâre going to fall in love with a girl that smells good enough you bury your face in the curve of her neck and her tummy will never growl like
mine always did. sheâll be deep and mysterious but she wonât come with the heavy past sitting on her shoulders. she wonât ever keep you awake with worry. sheâll always text you back
and never bite too hard and never act in a way she canât explain later. she will not cry when she gets drunk, sheâll just fall asleep beside you.
youâll fight with her sometimes because all couples fight but it wonât be with the teeth and claws that we had, it will be almost gentle, it will be over before it really gets going
youâre going to love her until youâre no longer really sure if what we had was all that special. youâll start badmouthing me to all your friends. youâll forget about me in most moments and eventually you wonât even be able to tell someone what our first date was or our first kiss or even if you fucked me
the last time that we spoke. iâll just be gone to you, just a memory of a memory, a girl with dark eyes, a half-capable poet, some word on your tongue youâre no longer sure of but you remember that you used to know it.
i will no longer be important.
âIâm still holding out hope that somehow someway weâll end up together in the endâŠâ /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their loverâs once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds Iâve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.
After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, âis love a feeling? Or is it a choice?â We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, weâd never have a lasting relationship of any sort.
She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.
Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the âfeeling of loveâ had vanished or faded and they werenât happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.
The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.
Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. Iâve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. Iâve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.
I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.
