I wish I was in love but I don't wanna cause any pain.

[taylorxalexandra]

I don’t even know! I…let’s just ignore that moment of…embarrassment. I’m pretty sure you’d win in any kind of fight against me for anything, so I’m glad too! Really?! I mean, I shouldn’t be excited about pushing alcohol on you, but I like having duet partners

[shaylaslade-blog]

But why feel embarrassed at all? I think it’s pretty adorable because I mean, I did that, even though you already knew me for weeks now. Are you sure I’ll win just because I’m that good or will you let me win? Trust me, you wouldn’t be pushing me into it, I’ll probably just jump right in myself.

[shaylaslade-blog]

( text ✉️ slayla 🔥🔥🔥 )

aiden: aw, you're always so sweet to me, shay ❤️ I was living life in the best way I knew how. Being as much of a dipshit as humanly possible. Lbr everything I say is weirdly satisfying to YOU.

aiden: im the perfect angel of a human what are you even talking about, me? Mean? Shay I would never! I would love to know. You can't tease me like that! Well you can and it's kinda our thing to tease each other but now I'm super curious like any good friend, to know how you're feeling because I'm a good friend that cares about how you're feeling. That's success in my book. DONT LOL AT ME! THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT.

shayla: i'm a sweet person aiden, like there's nothing i wouldn't say to make you feel better about yourself. well, clearly it wasn't enough but that's okay, i'm here now, baby. what makes you say that?

shayla: yeah yeah but really, i would cut your dick off and happily go to jail for it but act all innocent and be sent free. it is our thing that's why i love teasing so much but if you must know because you care so much as a friend, i'm having so much fun /feeling/ myself and sure, you could be joining in on the fun but you are out getting drunk. i hate you a lot bc wow you are so stupid. LOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL ARE YOU AFRIAD I'LL DROP YOU FROM MY LIFE?

[shaylaslade-blog]

( text ✉️ slayla 🔥🔥🔥 )

aiden: I can't be good at everything okay. Without you our friendship and my life would be in shambles. Shambles shayla, shambles! Damn you're so harsh but it's weirdly satisfying for me.

aiden: fuck yes, proof I can get away with anything. jk that's a lie I hardly get away with anything. You're feeling sexual right now? Let's talk about that, this is a safe place to share. me? having a lot going on? pshhhhhhhhh it's all sunshine and unicorns for this guy over here. Or is it rainbows and sunshine? Sunshine and rainbows? Fuck it. I WAS KIDDING DONT THROW THAT SHIT AT ME.

shayla: at least you are a dipshit, so it's all good to me. i know, like fuck what were you doing before me? probably living the most boring life ever. everything i say is weirdly satisfying to you lbr

shayla: you better be nice to me aiden or i'll make you really sorry for ever hurting my feelings. Oh, wouldn't you love to know? if only you were here, we wouldn't be doing any talking but you would definitely know what i was feeling. you literally confused me so much that now i'm not sure what it is. LOL YOU GET SO MEAN WHEN I THREATEN TO STOP THIS FRIENDSHIP.

[kimxstcloud]

Pfft. Nothing compared to mine, clearly. Yeah, yeah. Thankfully, I had noticed weird things before this, and told my boss. Also, they caught him on surveillance sneaking into the principal’s office to get my number. He’s too stupid to own a phone. I hope his parents realize this now. Eck. 

[shaylaslade-blog]

Not at all like we should totally hang out more because I feel like I haven’t truly lived until now. Oh good, what a fucking creep then like I just hope my kids turn out better than that. They should really transfer him then because you shouldn’t have to deal with that as a teacher.

[shaylaslade-blog]

( text ✉️ slayla 🔥🔥🔥 )

aiden: because I'm me? That's why, good enough answer. I make up for being talented at other things, it blocks out the oddness.

aiden: you should feel honored I always think of you first when I'm drunk. Aren't people more truthful when drunk? Idek? I miss everything these days, I'm disappointed in myself. You're trying to get me to admit things while I'm drunk LOOK WHOS BEING TAKEN ADTANTAGE OF NOW!

shayla: true tho, like it's questionable but im the one still making this friendship work. well you are just lucky you are bc if not, i would have dropped you already

shayla: alright, i'll take that, all is forgiven. not always, i just more sexual than usual so.. you have a lot going on so it's okay. IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP THIS THEN.

[shaylaslade-blog]

( text ✉️ slayla 🔥🔥🔥 )

aiden: oh shit, that weirdly turned me on and I'm kinda scared for my mental state.

aiden: if I promise to text you sober next time will that make you feel better? I'm a giver, shayla. I give and I give and I get drunk just so I can say dirty shit to you

shayla: okay now im questioning why i'm friends with someone so weird like wow

shayla: yeah it actually would be i'm feeling so used rn. you totally missed that lyric but whatever you're lame, i can't blame you. oh is that right? bc sober you is horrible at sexting right?

[shaylaslade-blog]

( text ✉️ slayla 🔥🔥🔥 )

aiden: what's cookin' good lookin'?

aiden: im kinda maybe a little bit intoxicated and my autocorrect is working wonders right now.

shayla: the men i eat for breakfast ofc

shayla: i should really be hurt that you only text me when you're drunk but nah you say the dirtiest things to me and that's fucking awesome

[kimxstcloud]

After a week of standardized testing with the eighth graders, a last minute trip to Peoria(a.k.a. suburbia u.s.a., lemme just gag now), being approached by a man on Saturday who asked me “how much I was,” and receiving a horrifying dick pic from one of my eighth graders, I have finally a night where I don’t feel like pulling my hair out. My mood can be perfectly described in one emoji: the upside down smiley face. I swear I’m gonna stab myself in the leg with a number 2 pencil soon. 

[shaylaslade-blog]

God Kim, and I thought my life was fucking dramatic. And second you received a dick picture from an eighth grader? You should be careful about that because if the parents found out they might think that you were asking for it and shit would just go so badly for you.

[aidenfoster-deactivated20170307]

“You’re more than all that, you know that, right? I mean, jokes aside and obviously it’s a great quality of yours, you know I like it but really. I’m not trying to get all sappy on you or anything like that just thought you should know there’s more to you than the dirty stuff. A lot more to like when it comes to you.” Aiden shrugged with a smile on his face. “I mean, personally I love the dirty talk and the dirty things you do. You can tie me up anytime but I don’t know? Sometimes it’s good to hear that people like you because of more than one thing?” Letting out a laugh, realizing he got a little more serious with what he was saying than he intended – he had to find a way to make it light again which was why he laughed and shook his head. It was funny how Aiden and Shayla started out, they began as two people that wanted one thing and now they were best friends. Shayla knew that he wasn’t the best of guys, she knew that he had problems – maybe she didn’t know all his problems but she knew there was a darkness to him that he did his best to avoid. She knew what he liked, what his dreams were, what his favorite tv shows and bands are, she knew so much about him and he knew so much about her. They were more than two people that had sex, they were best friends. Nothing more, nothing less in their minds but that and Aiden liked it that way. Everything came to them very simply and nothing seemed permanent. They were having fun and they happened to really enjoy being around each other which made things a lot more fun. They were both willing to learn more and more about each other. It was almost like they didn’t have to tell the other that they were there for them or ask them every second how they are doing because they know the other one was there and was always willing to listen.  It was hard for Aiden to open up to anyone, even his friends but Shayla seen some of the ugly sides of him. It could be times when they’re having sex – those moments he becomes a different person or it could be when they are hanging out and out of nowhere the emotion behind his eyes fade away. She’s seen little things that make him who he is with all the time they spend around each other and that right there made it a little easier for Aiden to talk to her. She hadn’t judged him so far for the uglier parts of himself – he didn’t think she would start now. “The Bonnie to my Clyde, huh? Are you looking to get into some trouble with me? Or I guess I should say more trouble with me. You’re kinda my ride or die, aren’t you?” Smirking at her, Aiden shrugged his shoulders once again, tilting his head to the side slightly before lifting it. “I guess, I would be your ride or die too.” Shayla was attractive to Aiden, she knew that, he knew that, anyone that knew them knew that. It was obvious he thought she was. She could wear anything and it wouldn’t change the fact that he thought she was attractive. “Let’s get one thing straight, I wouldn’t be the only guy that would get tuned on by that. You’re hot. I’m just the only guy that doesn’t give a fuck and will say things even if they make me look weird.” Once they were parked Aiden laughed at her comment, relaxing his back against the seat as he looked out towards the lights of the city. “Well, I am apparently a psychopath, so you never know?” He kept his eyes on the view as the different thoughts started to run through his mind and her words from earlier that he could tell her what’s on his mind ran through his thoughts. “You know what’s super depressing but true? I’m pretty sure I’m gonna end up alone. No friends, obviously no relationship, I wouldn’t be surprised if I lose my family too. It seems to be an ongoing pattern with me and I don’t know if I’m tired of it or weirdly accepting of it?” 

[shaylaslade-blog]

"Awe, Aiden who knew you had such a soft spot? That was actually really nice, I mean I don't get that often because I play everything off with my sexuality and it's like I don't want to hear what people really think of me. I mean, I'm a slut let's be honest here but hearing it from someone else isn't as easy to take in and I'm glad you see me more than my body." It was kind of odd really, although they are mostly best friends, it's not like they have to be good at it, they already make each other feel good in different ways so he didn't have to say what he did. "I'll keep the tying you up in mind the next time we have sex in your bed because Tabby, knows about us and it'slike whatever but we can't have sex at my place anymore." She should bring up the fact that now Ruby was living with her and bring a guy home just to fuck is not good parenting. "You are too. I'm not just saying it because you did but really, you think you are the shittest person I know but you aren’t. I know some really shitty people and god, it gives me nightmares sometimes." That was a whole different story with Beth, one that she wishes she could just forget about but it still haunts her to see Beth that way and she never knew that much evil in her life. Aiden’s laughter brought her out of her thoughts and she unbuckled her seat beat to look over at him with a confused look, it had almost seemed force and she didn't understand it. She already knew him well enough to know that when he started to act odd it meant he was trying to cover something up. They were almost too weird that way, to know someone that much but that's what she liked about them, being such good friends to know each other that well. The difference between him and her other friends was that she didn't have to talk about her pain so much, 'to let everything out,' because sometimes that just sucks to do when she doesn't want to talk about anything at all. Shayla would let out all of her pain through sex, the harder she went the more wanted to escape and he succeeded in doing just that for her. There will come a day when this would end, even though right now they want the same thing, in the end they will be on different paths and she could only hope that they will still be best friends. She could sleep with anyone else but she will never have someone like him in her life.

She had recently gotten pass her own darkness, the things that eat up her thoughts at night and it stopped her from feeling love. Being in love and being loved. Although she's been hurt over and over again by love, the feeling never gets old to her, the love that she receives from her family makes her happier than she have been for a long time and being loved by someone is almost too good. That’s why deep down she knows they would never work, not when Aiden has his darkness to deal with. It's selfish but she can’t love him when he won't be able to love her in that way. The dreams she has for herself doesn't match his. That doesn't mean that he isn't capable of being loved, she's seen the way his eyes change. He's in the moment and he doesn't even realize it because if he had, he would already stop this and there are times like this way he cares about how she feels too, not just what she feels. Maybe he isn't the person for her but he will be for someone that will see pass all his issues and love him for those too. "More trouble, of course. Is that even a question though? I'm your ride or die because I know if I can to you with blood on my hands you would be there to clean me up. What are friends for if you can't come to them with blood on your hands?" She gleefully smiled at him. Shayla won't deny it, she knows that she catches people's eyes, it just comes with blonde hair and blue eyes but Aiden, he was the kind of guy your parents warned you to stay away from. Tall, dark, handsome, eyes that just make you want to continue looking into. It was like the devil himself. "Okay, weirdo, maybe you should keep that kink to yourself but now I know how to get you even more turned on than before." Shayla only mirrored his actions as she said, "what if I give you car sex? Probably not the kinkiest thing on your list but would that give me a free pass?" But he hadn't laughed along with her and when she looked over at him it was like for a moment he wasn't there with her anymore. "I want you to shut up and never talk that way about yourself again. When you say things that aren't true, you start to believe it and then you start to think that you aren't worthy of anyone but you are. You have issues you have to deal with, sure, but we all do. You just have to work at it and make something of yourself." 

[taylorxalexandra]

S-Speed up…like..what we’re talking about? But…didn’t we just say we don’t really follow the whole norm of people our age? Or did I just say that in my head…I really shouldn’t be flustered, I see you daily. This…is embarrassing. Well…okay, I’ll bargain with you on costumes. We can go Grease, if you sing one of the songs with me!

[shaylaslade-blog]

Honey, why are you shy all of a sudden, am I really making you feel all flustered? I don’t even know what I did. Well, I’m known for speeding things up, maybe other people take it slow but life is short and when I want something, I kind of want it now. I’m glad that I don’t have to fight you on that. Enough alcohol in me and I would sing anything with you.

[aidenfoster-deactivated20170307]

There were things clearly wrong with Aiden, anyone could see that from the moment they say hello. He had a lot to work on with himself and other people but the best thing about being friends with Shayla was that she didn’t judge him for who he was. She let him feel and think the way he did without trying to stop him. Maybe it was because they were both a little different from standards most put on themselves. Most people would look at them like they were crazy if they told these people that they were having sex and they were best friends, they’d probably look at them like they were the two biggest idiots on the planet but they weren’t some love story waiting to happen - at least that’s what they both believed totally and completely. They were two people that weren’t afraid to say what they wanted and they weren’t afraid of telling the other exactly what things meant to them. Shayla and Aiden had everything out on the table, there was no room for confusion or mixed emotions because they had been clear about it all since day one. It was all about using each other and they were both more than okay with that, it was all about driving the other crazy and they were also okay with that. To top it off they became close friends during it all and that was something else they were both more than okay with and not willing to ruin if things turned sour – which they wouldn’t let happen if they had the power to. “Your skill for making everything dirty is probably one of my favorite qualities about you.” He smiled, “Well, that and your need to torture me any chance you get.” Aiden would right then and there push her against whatever wall was closest and give them both something they wanted but he had other plans in mind tonight, not that ripping her clothes off was something he didn’t want to do, he wanted to and she was making it more and more difficult for him to hold back from doing so. Looking at her hand on his shoulder before looking back and her he nodded before letting out a laugh and shake of his head at her last comment. He knew she was being real with him and if he did have to talk she was there. He didn’t take that for granted and didn’t ignore it. “It’s good to know that you’d wanna see where the body is if I was to go on some psycho murder spree.” He laughed. Sitting in the car, he began to drive to the spot he was telling her about before. There was nothing really special about it, it was somewhere he’d go to be alone, even write his music or to simply think and this time he wanted to bring her because he wanted to think about things but he didn’t want to be alone. It seemed like an ongoing thing for Aiden, he was always alone and even when he had the company of someone he felt alone, except now. “You’re right, you’re hot, you could be wearing a garbage bag and you’d still turn me on. I’m sure I’m not the only one that thinks that.” Approaching the spot he looked at her quickly before looking at the road again. “Just know I’m not bringing you anywhere to kill you, you’re safe.” Aiden parked the car, it kinda looked like they were in the middle of nowhere, parked right in front of a cliff but beyond it was a perfect view of the city. Other than the city the spot looked sketchy and not at all appealing but Aiden liked that. He liked how it look like shit but then you look out at the city and it looked pretty. There was something symbolic about it, something he wouldn’t ever admit to actually thinking. 

[shaylaslade-blog]

Accepting people for who they are isn’t that hard for her to do, it might have came from the fact that when she was younger, when she didn’t have the strength she does now, she was never really the girl everyone wanted to spend time with. She let darkness take over her life and so she never wanted anyone to feel the way she once did. She sees the darkness in him to but she doesn’t want to push him, not until he’s ready to let her in. Sex for her doesn’t mean all that much, not really, it’s so easy to give up her body for someone else, to let them have her in such a way and giving it to Aiden is so fucking easy. There’s isn’t a question about it and she knows what people probably think that they can’t be friends for long, that soon enough one of them might ruin it and maybe they will but that’s the thing with them, they know that as soon as one of them catches these feelings they shouldn’t, then they’ll stop because this isn’t what they signed up for. Being friends wasn’t either but having someone on her level without anything real happening was amazing, it was amazing to just have a guy friend she could talk to about anything really is so great, having him as wingman, or even teasing him is so fun that she never wants any of it to stop. The only thing she wishes she could talk to him about was Ruby, how she might still love her ex, how she doesn’t know how to be a parent and it sucks that she can’t share this part of her life with him, afraid that he’ll think too much into it. Even when all they do is talk about their wants and needs, it’s just different when it’s about something as serious as this. Still, she swallowed the thought and put on a smile at his words, “oh and here I thought my best quality was actually doing dirty things was.” She smiled back at him as she laughed, “you say that like you hate it, I didn’t hear any complaints from you the last time I tied you up. I’m pretty sure you wore that tie knowing exactly what was going to happen.” Shayla wouldn’t mind it one bit if he decided they should stop sleeping together in order to save their friendship because she really did truly care about him and losing him sounded worst than stop sleeping with him. “I could be the Bonnie to your Clyde so it’s a good thing that i got your back.” Sometimes not feeling like a booty call was kind of nice and although they could have found somewhere to actually do the deed, she was more interested in where they were going. Much have been important if he had to wake her up in the middle of the night for. “I’m pretty sure you are the only one that would get turned on by me wearing a garbage bag, normal people would get turned on by me simply not wearing anything at all.” Laughing as she turned to him, arching an eyebrow, and a tilt in her head, “you do know that’s what people who are about to kill someone say right?” And when he parked the car, she looked over at the view and it’s like time stopped for a minute because it was gorgeous, she’s so used to seeing people and not really the scene and here she was looking at something that meant something to him.

[rosiesinclair-deactivated202106]

Nope, your stuck with me. I’m just super busy, BUT we can get together?

[shaylaslade-blog]

I would want nothing more than for you to stuck with me as your friend for life. Of course we can, is that even a question? Anytime of the day or night.

[rosiesinclair-deactivated202106]

Shay, let’s be real. I’ll clear my schedule for you. 

[shaylaslade-blog]

No, but really, I’m a little shocked because apparently I’ve been losing friends from left to right.

[shaylaslade-blog]

OKAY HOE, IT’S LIKE MIDNIGHT AND I’M AN OLD PRUNE THAT HAS WORK IN THE MORNING BUT LIKE YOU SHOULD SURPRISE ME WITH LUNCH. UNLESS YOU ARE WAY TOO FAMOUS FOR ME NOW.

[rosiesinclair-deactivated202106]

LAAAME

But yes, we’ll do lunch!!

[shaylaslade-blog]

TELL ME ABOUT IT BUT THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I’M A BOSS.

Whaaat?? You still have time for little old me?

[shaylaslade-blog]

OKAY I CAN’T BELIEVE I STILL HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO LISTEN TO IT. LIKE I BET IF WE WERE STILL ROOMMATES, WE WOULD BE DANCING TO IT.

[rosiesinclair-deactivated202106]

BITCH COME DOWN I’M STILL DANCING.

[shaylaslade-blog]

OKAY HOE, IT’S LIKE MIDNIGHT AND I’M AN OLD PRUNE THAT HAS WORK IN THE MORNING BUT LIKE YOU SHOULD SURPRISE ME WITH LUNCH. UNLESS YOU ARE WAY TOO FAMOUS FOR ME NOW.

[rosiesinclair-deactivated202106]

I’M NOT EVEN SORRY FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I’VE PLAYED LITTLE MIX’S NEW SONG. 

[shaylaslade-blog]

OKAY I CAN’T BELIEVE I STILL HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO LISTEN TO IT. LIKE I BET IF WE WERE STILL ROOMMATES, WE WOULD BE DANCING TO IT.

[shaylaslade-blog]

shayla ✉ nyx

Nyx: I think I'll just have too. Oh, I know you do. You want me to be completely engulfed in everything you are. The dirtier, the better. Evidently not, since you just texted me to tell me just that. Good, I enjoy making you feel good whether it is in a sexual situation or not. Though, the latter is my favorite. I could never tire of the sounds you make for me

Shayla: Do you think about me when you are alone too? Bc I'd definitely would be okay with that. I really do, can you blame me tho? Makes it all the much better when you're here with me. Full of excitement and everything. Well, truth be told that's not the only reason, I was just kind of thinking of you. Really? How much do you like it when I beg you to come or maybe you love it when I'm panting your name over and over again?