ADULTING 101

Weekly accounts on what’s it’s like to be an adult from someone’s who’s reluctant to be one

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My last hurrah of the fall semester

I haven’t been as active on here mostly due to the fact that I have been busy. The last few weeks have been kind to me sort of. They’ve also been eye-opening as well. There are some things that I can’t mention that I would love to include but I can’t due to certain. However, what I can mention is just as equally as important as the things I can’t mention. 

I went home for the first time and that was such an odd experience. I feel like such a guest in my own home. I no longer have the room I used to have. It’s an office and I have no bed. Of course, I knew they were going to do this but it still feels off. It was hard to shake the feeling of feeling like an outsider whenever I woke in the morning. I looked around and nothing felt the same. Everything looked the same but nothing felt the same. Nothing had changed at home but I was not the same person I was when I was in that room three months ago. There was just a lot of reflection going on during those few days. 

I opened my first checking account which was pretty important for me. I suck at managing money and my recent purchases and spending history these last few weeks prove that. I’m hoping it will make me more responsible. I’ve never had a debit card of my own so I’m hoping this will teach me some responsibility. 

Another probably not so good choice I made and hopefully it was the last was deciding to lie to my parents about a certain guy I’ve been sort of seeing. He happens to be an upperclassman and I wasn’t quite sure how to tell her that so I lied. Obviously, I feel bad otherwise I wouldn’t be making a big deal out of this. I just don’t want her to worry even though I know she will. I have no idea how to bring it up to her again. I know I need to be honest and upfront but it’s hard. I’m so private about things like this. However, I dug myself in this hole so now I have to be a big girl and face whatever comes with the choice I made. 

This is such a long post but I’ll cut it short right here. It’s actually been kind of fun running this blog. It’s nice to look back and see the things I’ve gone through during the semester and see how much I’ve grown until now. So I’m going sign off now but not without doing some honorable mentions. Some may be kind of vague for certain purposes.

Hiking the ski trails with Peyton and getting lost 

The weekend before Thanksgiving break 

The second to last open mic night 

Working phonathon: most nights were pretty fun

The second weekend of November 

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this week’s shenanigans 🤪

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Week 11/10/19 - 11/17/19

This week was eventful. Registering for classes for the next semester really put into place for me the career path I want to take. I feel more drawn to doing stuff in PR than I do in journalism. I want to make a difference of course but I believe this field will help me do that. The stress of registering for classes is no joke and I swear I almost had a meltdown but it was all resolved. You’ll be seeing me again first thing in the morning Mr. Beckman :)

The weekend was even more eventful. Of course there are some things I can’t mention however just know that I was safe and if I could go into more detail I would. I went up to go sing at open mic night which was cool. I’ve never sung in front of a crowd before even if was just for a joke. I had lots of fun and I enjoyed doing it with friends. My relationship with the guy that I’ve been seeing and getting close to was really solified this weekend. I’m not gonna get super mushy but I don’t regret agreeing to go on that date when he asked me. I was apprehensive about it but I see now that it was probably one of the best choices I’ve made all semester.

I find that I’m really truly enjoying my time here and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I was a little homesick earlier after eating dinner with the Brothers on Thursday. Something about a home cooked meal really made me miss my home and my family. I can’t wait to see them again but I also know that I’ll miss Mary’s while I’m away. I’ve come to realize it as a home for me too.

I’ve gotten so much closer to all my friends and I keep continuing to make new friends and the experiences they bring about are ones that I don’t regret. They help teach me lessons and show me what to do next if I ever get in a situation like that again. I’ve never been so incredibly grateful for the group of people I’ve decided to befriend.

I wish I could report more but the details of some things have to remain hidden 😂. This week was great and I’m hoping that I can say the same for next week :)

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Open mic night part 1.

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Week 11/03/19 - 11/10/19

This week was eventful. A lot of firsts happened to me this week. Some I can’t mention and some I can. The things I can mention were amazing and I don’t regret the decisions I made to get to that point. I find that I enjoy my time the more I tell myself not to think about what could go wrong so much. I find that I like myself more when I’m not in my head so much. It’s exhausting having to agonize over every little detail and what could go wrong. I’m learning that sometimes it’s good to just roll with the punches. 

As I get further into the month of November I realize that my first semester of college is nearly coming to a close. For me, that’s pretty exciting. It doesn’t feel like it’s been the longest semester of my life as I’ve heard others describe it as. I’ve had some ups and downs but I can’t bring myself to regret any of the choices I’ve made during this semester. There’s so much I’ve experienced here and so much more that I have yet to experience. 

This post is probably the shortest I’ve written but that’s mostly because I can’t remember half of my week, which says something about the state of my memory lol. This week was pretty good I’m glad to say. I hope I get to say the same about next week :) 

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Blue Angel and time with friends was probably the highlight of my week

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went to my first college play!!! It was super good

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Week 10/27/19 - 11/03/19

I’ve only had to make one adult decision this week that I viewed as really important. I decided to change me major. As much as I love journalism and wanting to keep people informed, I believe I can still do that but do it in a different way. I still want to pursue it but I want to bring light to issues in a different way than we’re doing now. I thought about it long and hard and really looked at every option and decided that this was the best course for me.

This week was okay. I was busy for the first few days of the week but deciding the classes I wanted to take was a struggle because I really didn’t know what I wanted to do but now I do. I’m excited now that I know or have a more solid idea.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on myself and that’s what I seem to be doing a lot these days. It’s good for me. I’m a reflective person, it’s how I function and process things. I’ve decided that I’m in my head too much. I overthink things and it hinders me from doing what I want to do. I don’t know how to not overthink but I’m going to actively work on it.

This week was not as good as the last but I’m hoping next week I can say something different :)

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Week 10/20/19 - 10/27-19

I have made so many adult decisions this week. I’m kind of proud of myself though for making these decisions. I probably should have made much sooner but I think it’s cool that I came to make these all on my own.

I’ve been having a bit of money issues lately. I won’t go too much info detail but money I truly beginning understand the financial struggles of a college student. I barely have any money to do anything. I have a job but the hours that I work aren’t enough. And even so I can’t really spend any of it for myself it all goes towards making sure I have enough money to pay for my installment fee. Also I didn’t even have a debit card for my account to actually access my money.

It’s been a very stressful situation because I realized I should’ve been planning more during the summer. I should’ve already have gotten my debit card before I left for school and worked more hours at work so I wouldn’t have to worry about my installation fees so much.

At least I know what to do for next semester and the following years so I think it’s good that I opened my eyes to that.

I actually agreed to go out on a date with this guy instead of continuing to mope about the state of my love life. We are hitting it off really well so I’m happy that I actually made that decision to hang out.

The pressures of school is sort of getting to me. I have so much to do and I feel like I have so little time to do it. I was assigned to watch a movie on Thursday and write a 3-4 paged paper on it due on Tuesday. This is stressful for so many reason because, I had a super busy weekend with the BSA gala and other things that I can only afford to begin watching it on Sunday. Even so it’ll take me forever to write this paper because I have work Monday night 6-9 so that just adds more to my stress of having it done on time .

Despite all that, the week was good. I made new friends, went to my first hockey game, enjoyed a photoshoot with my friends, and met a really nice guy. I honestly can’t complain too much about the week.

I hope the next week will be just as good or even better than this week :)

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family photo shoot fun

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some pics from the humane society

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Week 10/13/19-10/17/19

This week has been so... filled. I always had things to do which was a change from the recent weeks where I felt like I really had nothing to do. I went from spending my weekends looking for something to do to being out all weekend.

I’ve connected with friends more than I have any other week and that felt good. It felt really good. The week itself may have been shaky but it was a good week. I did so many things. I spent the night at a friends dorm and spent so much time away from my own room. I even went to the humane society and met the cutest animals.

I feel like I really needed this weekend to reconnect with myself after what happened. I still don’t really know how to process the situation since I’ve never had it happen to me but this week has really helped me remember who I am and who I will continue to be. I feel a lot better about myself now but it still feels weird to say I’m completely blameless. I know I didn’t know anything but I still feel terrible and I need to come to terms with that. I’m not a home wrecker. I’m not that person and I never will be that person.

Everything just feels all weird to me now. It’s not a bad weird but it’s not a good weird either. It’s just weird lol. I’m glad that I can say this week was a good week and I hope I can continue to say that all the following weeks will be just as good.

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cupcake decorating was a blast. Thank you Kylie Jenner I’m ready to Rhise and Shine

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I really do miss Empire on the Sun :(

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10/6/19-10/14/19

This week has been an emotionally taxing week. I don’t know what it was but I was just down in the dumps all day everyday. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what was making me feel this way. Maybe the weather, maybe it was because I was preparing for a weekend alone. I thought I was going to value having this time alone which is true I still do but things have complicated it now.

Guys have complicated it now. It’s funny talking about my personal issues on a school assignment but it’s important for the nature of this blog that I’m honest about what’s going on my life and how I’m dealing with it as an adult.

I kind of knew that the famous lines “ I’m not looking for a relationship” were coming. I mean I saw all the signs for once. I never saw them in high school but now I actually saw them and I just didn’t know what to do. I truly didn’t know what to do. I knew deep down in my heart of heart that whatever was going on between us wasn’t really something that was going to go anywhere. I think I accepted that fact a long time ago. I think the moment I started to question his behavior around me in public and how he would respond to some of things I said, I knew. I think all the sulking I did this week was because I knew it was coming. I’ve had this feeling all week in my gut that fun times were coming to an end. Plus I’ve shamelessly been looking at my horoscopes and they were kind of hinting at it.

Despite all that being said, I do feel a bit better now that I know. I can’t act as I used to in high school whenever something I wanted didn’t happen. Being cold and passive towards him isn’t something I want to do because that’s just not me anymore. I still think that he’s a nice person and we can get along despite whatever happened between us. I have to accept the fact that it wasn’t meant to happen and that it is what it is.

That saying “ it is what it is” has carried me through a lot of things. I’ve adopted that mentality a long time ago and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. It makes me seem so unresponsive sometimes but it’s my way of showing that I cared about it enough to think about it. I thought about it and I know that I can’t change what happened so it is what it is.

On another note, I’ve survived the first half of the first semester. I feel very accomplished. It’s hard out here and I’ve already made some big decisions but I don’t regret them... yet. Work is okay. I’m still trying to warm up to it, the people are great like I said but the work isn’t fun.

Hopefully next weekend will be better :)

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Fun times at Walgreens :)

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Week 09/29-10/06

This week has been one of most stressful weeks on campus to date. I began my first on campus job and I’m going to be honest here and say that I don’t like it. The people I work with are really cool and they’re super helpful and supportive but the work itself is something I don’t know if I can get used to. I’m hoping that over the next few weeks I’ll grow into it but I don’t know.

My boy problems haven’t really died down. We hung out and it was good, everything went great but I can’t shake this feeling I’m having. If he’s not interested I still want to be friends since I feel like it’s an adult thing to do. I have to be mature about the whole thing. He’s a good person and we get on really well but I have to put on my big girl pants if I don’t get my way and that sucks. It’s a harsh reality but it’s what I have to accept.

School has been kicking my butt for some reason. I don’t usually let the pressures of school get to me but this week I’ve been really down and out and it completely ruined my Friday night. I nearly gave myself an ulcer stressing over a test in my anchor course because I honestly knew that going into that test that my performance was going to be bad. I missed my 8am on Wednesday because overslept and I felt terrible. I didn’t really know what to do. The week before midterms and the week of midterms is one of the worst weeks I’m beginning to see. The amount of assignments and papers and tests I have is making me crazy.

I believe the main thing that kind of ruined my week is making the decision to stay here during fall break. Of course I don’t want to but I had to make the adult decision and do what’s best for me. My rides are unreliable and I can’t afford the gas money it takes to have people tote me around in a car. I’ve never been on my own to this extent. I’d have to actually take care of myself, making sure I eat and sleep and actually do something productive with myself within those days instead of laying in bed all day and binge watching Love Island.

Overall this week sucked and was not my greatest week but I’m hoping next week will be better.