She Has Issue Problems

An Executive Assistant for a 100 something person company with corporate problems, pains & wins by day and a raging vodka drinker by night (not really- more like a house wife for two men as roommates) speaking out on the voice inside her head.

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Backyard chillin. #downtownlivin #nofilter (Taken with Instagram)

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You Did What?! With The Boss?

First dilemma of the day and it's only been 39 minutes... note to self: when mentioning boyfriend's name - be sure to make it clear it's not the boss of the company. Joy of having a boyfriend and a CEO with the same name. It's fabulous. *palm to forehead*

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My Cube Neighbor is a Cow.

We all have that co-worker who chomps like a damn cow. I happen to sit right next to one. I should not have to resort to putting in my headphones and me STILL hear your chomping on a bag of chips... HOW BIG IS THAT BAG OF CHIPS.

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It's Just Toilet Paper

I live in a very lavish apartment on a river in the middle of a pretty dang large city in a Midwest state where it can be 4 seasons in 16.7 hours.. Sounds fabulous right? It is! One detail, I live there with two young men. They're both in college, 4+ years for both. One happens to be my other half of over 5 years and the other is basically my long lost twin separated at birth (obviously the male version of myself... if I were the boy my dad secretly wished for - but now I'm daddy's not so little girl drinking partner). If you've ever watched that one show with the chick who lives in a nice apartment with all men, I basically live that... in real life (and since I can not remember the name of the show - it clearly was not worthy... maybe my living situation isn't as great as I feel it is). OH! and definitely not as dramatic.

Thankfully, the male species I live with are clean semi-clean guys, they were raised by wonderful loving families (you know the ones that are completely nuts and get toasted at family gatherings and it's a blast), where the mother threatened you by putting soap in your mouth if you left the seat up on the toilet (I wouldn't know that part but urrrr this is how I picture it to be).  Well at least THAT has been beaten into them, never a seat up in this household ::angels appear in bright lights *hallelujah*:: 

However, I can't seem to get them to put a new roll of TP onto the TP holder... EVER. And of course ladies know exactly what I'm talking about. You go over to a guys house and the toilet paper just happens to be sitting on the sink next to you or on the back of the toilet.  Or worst of all - NO TOILET PAPER, what so ever! WHY can't guys just put the damn toilet paper roll onto it's holder?! They were put there for a damn reason! USE IT.

Then I realize, if this is really the only major complaint I have about living with two males - I'm possibly the luckiest straight female in the entire world (except when the one night stands -not classy ladies - and gaming fests are happening in my living room). You women are thinking "What about when they hog the TV on Football Sunday?" Truth be told: I encourage football parties and playoff parties of any kind - mostly because A. I am that woman who would rather watch sports than say, Jersey Shore Wives Now On The Bachelor's Sister's Big Fat Survivor Show (too much? probably ::lost 7 followers::) and B. I'm such a sucker for Taco Salad Dip and beer... and shots when your team scores.

All I'm saying is, I guess not all guys are filthy jackasses and I suppose there are more than two good guys on this place we call earth... who put the toilet seat down, clean up after themselves (most of the time), treat you with respect (except when your roommate brings home dirty skanky whores) and are there to bring you up when you are down...

Ladies - I think we need to be more thankful for the men in our lives. If the worst part of my day was coming home to the toilet paper roll not where it's suppose to be, then by golly, I had a swell day. Not all dudes are assholes and jackasses. If you keep getting stuck with them, I will assume you just have awful taste!

Who knew the topic of toilet paper could make me be so thankful for the men in my life... Only because they kill spiders for me and can reach things in high places. #shehasissueproblems

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Good news! Tomorrow is Friday... not Tuesday, despite the two Monday's we had this week

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On days like today... I regret working for a company with a support department full of middle aged men who play games like Call of War Jedi's and Zombie's who come in smelling like hot dogs, cheese and last weeks laundry.

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Man-ram

"...I was about to man-ram these fans in their no fly zones...." - Nameless Co-worker

This will be my blog in a very tiny nutshell.