ItS JuST mE

As CliChE as iT MaY bE, I aM wHo I aM. LovE oR hAtE Me, It DoEsN'T mAtTeR tO ME.

[andrewbelami]

[sheidalove]

Self worth

When I think about the word “self worth”, I understand it as the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem/self-respect. 

I read somewhere in an article, that self-worth should be less about measuring oneself based on external actions and more about valuing own inherent worth as a person. In other words, self-worth is about who I am, not about what I do.

Its a loaded statement and mainly a very good reminder to myself. I do not know when how why. But it happened and I am trying to find that again within myself. It is a real struggle for me but i knew it would not be impossible. 

To find my self-worth, I try to practice self-compassion which is by treating myself with the same kindness and compassion as I would treat my loved ones. Simple yet a bold statement yet not an easy feat. 

I stopped comparing my life with others and start to appreciate mine more. Today I read a line from my sisters social media page- she said “I’ve got nothing to show off but I have a lot to thank for”. That resonates deep within me for I could relate so much to it. Acting on principles, in ways that ones respect, is another important quality to foster as one develop a higher level of self-worth. “Make a concerted effort to maintain personal integrity in your life by insisting that your actions correspond to your words”. 

That I’ll try, always have and always will(Inshaa allah). Never give up, love who I am, be generous, be kind, believe in my self-worth. Just as my loved ones believed in mine. 

[sheidalove]

#SelfieUpdated

[sheidalove]

Realization

I realised this morning life is unfair but never should it dictates how u should live it. It may be cruel but it strengthens u. I was upset and I walk away. I expect a further blowout but instead I found compromise and ceasefire. I guess its really how u handle it and adapt that will determine ur fate. It never fails to surprise me how one positivity could change ur day.. Patience is a virtue and alternatives can never mean bad . It could only mean the better choice whether or not u plan it or like it. Maybe when I start changing my outlook on things and be more positive I will be happier.  Never know..but I could start trying…

[sheidalove]

[sheidalove]

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may before my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments d scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley - Invictus

[sheidalove]

Messed up

I have so many things on my mind right now.. so many needed to be accomplished. .my minds a lil raw in the morning and my hearts a mess! My brain is still shut down my heart is yet overwhelmed. . I need distraction. . Some happy pills perhaps.. major repair required-STAT. Dear god please give the signs and strengths I need to be where I wanna be..

[sheidalove]

No one owns my heart more than me myself.. no one breaks me more than I could hurt myself. No one could satisfy me as much as music does to myself.. My life is in the music I listens to.. a key to my soul..

[sheidalove]

Missing my bff...

[sheidalove]

Hujan berteman hati...

Hari ini hari jadi suami Ku. Sepatutnyer harus ia menjadi hari yang terbahagia buat suami Dan isteri ... Dgn setidaknya Kita bergaduh ....itu lah terjadi Pade hari Tiga yang berturut... Ader Kah aku yang bersalah semenangnyer aku hanya ingin merasakan diri sendiri dihargai disygi oleh suami sendiri... Ader Kah aku yang bersalah jikalau aku sekadar ingin merasa kan bahawa aku boleh luahkan perasaan duka cita Ku Susah senang dgn mengharapkan sembarang ejekkan ataupun komen yang negatif darinya... Ader kah aku ker yang punca disebalik pergaduhan Atau ini memang dua2 yang Samer bersalah ... Seandainya aku tidak mampu bertahan menangis di Dlm hati Dan mengeringkan air mata Ku lagi... Dan Aku tidak mampu lagi dpt mempertahankan keadamaian rumah tangga Ku... kerana suami Ku tidak menunjukkan Dia mahu Turut bersamer...Bismillah hirahmannirahhim , Ya Allah ya tuhanku seandainya Engkau lah yang maha mengetahui segale isi hati hambu itu ... Kau lembutkan lah hati nya buat menerima aku dgn seadanyer ... Kau bukakkan lah hati Nya untuk menyayangi Ku seikhlas Dan sepenuhnyer... Kau berikan lah aku ketabahan di hati Dan Kuat kan lah iman Ku seandainya aku tahu ini ader lah ujian Dari mu ya Allah... Amin Amin rabbal Alamin.....

[sheidalove]

Cake nutella made by MIL.. Delicious!! – View on Path.

[sheidalove]

Beach hunk on the loose?!? 😝

[sheidalove]

What's marriage life?

Its been about 4mths since I got married~ and it has been a roller coaster... Theres many new things I learn about my partner. One thing for sure I'm a more freaky OCD-like compared to him. Tot he cleans well but he only decorates well but I clean way better! Hahahaa! As much as we querral when we settle down and be happy it is always the best feeling ever~ some times I do question myself why things the way they are.. But again I'm thankful to be where I am now.. Life's hardship isn't meant to discourage people, it is to lift people up, to tell em good things doesn't come easy. Lifelong happiness isn't easy to keep either. We work hard for it. We push for it..we have to earn it. Marriage changes my perspective and yet create new ones. I didn't realized the heavy responsibility of being a wife and a daughter next to bein a daughter in law until I was officially mrs Haridz. Hopefully with perseverance and faith and patience, I will become the best wife I could ever be and hopefully the wonderful mother I can be in future~

[sheidalove]

Bull-shit

Seriously I am tired of adek kesiankan adek dier yang sering sekali malas! Asal siak kesian kesian kesian! Dier yang pemalas per malas nak carik Keje mls nak ader income betol2! Keje event ader duit abh pulak ckp tak tahu nak buat aper ngan duit tu?!??? Siak ah!! Carik Keje lah sak!! Cukop time takde duit pandai nak mintak2 walaupun not from me. Amik lesen motor lah kire .. Tak salah ! Tapi kau tu belum Keje Erik jgn Cepat sgt spend gitu mcm .. Keje betol2 dulu! Nak easy way out jer .. Aku bingit it's always money issue laziness issue and kesian kesian kesian!! Kalau abg and kakak aku manjekan aku mcm macam maner adek manjekan, confirm aku pun jadi pemalas Jgk! Common lah sampai biler?!!! GO AND GET A JOB LAH EVERYONE!! Idup memang Susah kalau MALAS!!! Bingit betol sal aku ngan org carik alasan lebih!!

[sheidalove]

[sheidalove]

I miss Vegas too!!

[sheidalove]

I miss California!!