live body+soul

[shellyrudolph-blog]

AUGUST MOONSONG

August moon, melts my heart How long I have waited, for this final thaw August moon, spills me out In a pool of sonnets, while the breeze cools on by Just you and I, August moon.

Take my heart, such as it is Pieced together, with winters we won’t mention Take my song, to your lips Broken and parched, such as it is Such as it is... Just you and I, August moon

Lift me up Please, just drink me in Gulp me or sip me whatever you choose There’s nothing but this game of me to lose

Once I was lost, now am found Or tonight I believe That all is this is true

For you and I, August moon For you and I, August moon Just you and I, Just you and I Now let us kiss.

[shellyrudolph-blog]

Slowly I Go (excerpt)

This is an excerpt of a new song I am working on. I'm sharing it in it's raw, work in progress state because I hope it brings some peace and love to your swe...

DAY 1: THE POWER OF MUSIC I was taking my own medicine this morning, meaning: singing this song in hopes of centering, of calming my anxious  body-mind when it hit me: going slowly is like a whole body, whole being prayer. Rushing about, I ignore the truth that every little molecule, every little morsel of life - this sink, this toothbrush, this monkey mind - is pure love, pure magic, truly a gift. I can try to make myself see and feel this truth by adding a gratitude mantra to my already overloaded list of self-help to-do's OR I can simply hum this song and suddenly... I am breathing and smiling, living and loving true. Ahhh the power of poetry and song!! So delicious.

That's why I'm committed to "following my passion," and traveling this rocky path of being an artist. It's not my flame that keeps me burning, it's the flame of The Soul, which ignites us all. May your souls shine bright today lovelies! Thank you for listening. xoxo

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DAY 1. FIGHTING LIONS WITH FEATHERS 

How to Keep It All Together in "Times Like These" The only way I know is to not.

Rather, to let it all go.Let the heart break over and over

To reveal that it can never truly be broken. Let the soul fall down, dig deep

To unearth the shards of fear, of shame, of doubt, of fury

And then invite the world wholly in Invite the world to melt in

To finally and holy dissolve in

To the sweet amber core of our heart's treasure Where we are all one. Hold me gentle close, won't you?

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DAY 39: FEAR AS ALLY "Do one thing everyday that scares you." Well maybe not everyday! But yes, more often then not. Why? Well, I'm finding more and more that what I dream of doing with my life, what I feel called to do by Life, is also what terrifies me. As if fear is at the threshold of "following my bliss." I do not think that this arrangement is by accident nor is it some sort of twisted joke played on us little humans. Fear lurks at the "threshold of bliss" because we will do all we must to get through to the other side, to answer this call of our soul. We will meet fear head on because we have no alternative and in this true meeting we will discover that fear is an ally. Fear, like everything, is made of love. Fear wants to be transformed into love, to be sent home to love. Fear invites us to grow, to stretch, to love that which we have called unlovable. What power we reclaim in this alliance! So. Here is to following your soul siren's call to a heroic adventure of wild love and bliss! See you on the other side ;) Xoxox

[shellyrudolph-blog]

All At Once

This exquisite fullness

This preciously painful awareness

Of the sweetness that is All

 So tenuous so strenuous to pretend otherwise

This piercing heartbreak of beauty

Leaves dancing, mouths lying

Humanity

Trying, trying, trying

 All calls me to tears to laughter to furrowed brow

To the lure of wine, to the most sublime heartbreak

 As the beloved, in its mysterious guises, pieces me back together

This human heart mends in the most crucial places

Ready to fall again, already falling

Already following the call

 Of blossoming rocks

Of silent singing

Of echoless bewilderment

 How can it all be at once?

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DAY 33: HULLABOO Is this where we are? Day 33? In my non-sequential journey here? Who knew keeping the numbers straight would be the biggest challenge for me? Well, I should have know that I suppose. Straight lines are surely not my strong suit. Thank you Wild lovelies for being here with me on this meandering leap towards love and connection. More to come as we circle 'round to Day 40, always buzzing about Love's sweet HULLABOO. Xoxo !

[shellyrudolph-blog]

TRUTH BE TOLD Today I find myself Lost Searching for faith Pawing through my bags of promise Searching for tricks to tame the mind, to soothe the soul but Truth Be Told I just want to lose it all I just want to dance all night, drink too much and fall in loose inappropriate love Again and again and again. Yes. I just want to lose it all Because Keeping It Together is much too hard And how can it be so hard when I should/could be blessing every moment that I am free to walk my own self down this great good luck garden path life of mine Oh Yes. I know that I should know what I know I know the foolishness of squandering any -every moment of This. I know the shame of drowning in a sea of my own making. I know by heart the story of the mermaid who forgot how to swim. And yet And yet Today I find myself sinking. Grasping for my Mary Poppins remedies and they just ain't working no mo' no mo' I just want. I just want to lose it all At the hands of an over-perfumed, over-endowed languid lover who knows how to lead.

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The promise of spring...

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DAY 27: The Sky's Soft Skirt "Awake awhile. It does not have to be forever. Right now. One step on the sky's soft skirt would be enough. Awake awhile. Just one True moment of Love will last for days." - Hafiz Good morning blue sky lovelies! So grateful for you all sweet hearts. Enjoy enjoy xoxox

[shellyrudolph-blog]

MORNING SONG Morning song Sparrow sonnets Spirits shimmer free Winter fog Dreamtime lingers Nestled in stillness Tree mantras Guide us inward Soaring on leafy wings Bursting with love at the seams I've outgrown my worry coats I've shed these fear gloves Tenderly I yell Skirts above my knees Hooray for this day! Blowing kisses at the mud colored prophet birds Opening the door Everything is more and nonetheless there is nothing that I need Sparrow sonnets Color my day silver blue Held in life's endless embrace And why not And why not And why not Sing too?

[shellyrudolph-blog]

DAY 21: WILD PRECIOUS YOU

I woke up this morning with this iconic Mary Oliver poem on my lips. Walked downstairs to see "my" sweet sparrow at her post on the gate, singing full voice to the shimmering branches. Yes. I say. Today is the day to live (and love) large. xoxo!

THE SUMMER DAY - Mary Oliver Who made the world?Who made the swan, and the black bear?Who made the grasshopper?This grasshopper, I mean--the one who has flung herself out of the grass,the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down --who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.I don't know exactly what a prayer is.I do know how to pay attention, how to fall downinto the grass, how to kneel in the grass,how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fieldswhich is what I have been doing all day.Tell me, what else should I have done?Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?Tell me, what is it you plan to doWith your one wild and precious life?

[shellyrudolph-blog]

Cupid’s Breath

February, then suddenly

Your sunshine face with my name on your lips The plum blossom gathers its wings inside my heart where I am shy.

[shellyrudolph-blog]

One Day

One day she left it all.

For the mere scent of a gardenia.

No man attached. No plan attached.

She just up and left. For her body could no longer bear Winter or tights Or the all too infrequent and oddly jagged dance of the Western world.

Even lilac wine could not keep her here. No.

Thick air Unabashedly seeped in perfume and sweat and dirt. Air too full to move. Her body Her soul Her life Required this.

What will become of her? One day.

[shellyrudolph-blog]

The Way We Love

Infinity’s pastries we are   Buttery layered lovers of God   Some crunchy, some bittersweet   All of us nutty in our embrace  

The Divine’s sweet tooth propels us Towards   Imploring: Bite in!   Use both hands!   Lick your plate.  

Now is no time to diet   Nor for reducing the fat in your secret-recipes   Love large!   Love as only You can.  

Drench yourself in honey   Roll around in the violets   Scoop yourself up with a sugar-coated spoon   And serve.   We are all hungry for the taste only you can give.  

Please! Do not worry about the crumbs you might leave   In your lover’s beard   Or if your batter is free of lumps.   There is no time to waste!   There is no right way to kiss   All lips open the Beloved’s door.  

“This is how I love” whispers your tongue   So why not open wide and belt it out?   The trees are already humming along   Shamelessly draping their embrace   Over the earth for all these years   And what do you think those insects buzz on about?   Stirred as they are by the sun’s sweaty song  

Or the waxy gardenias   Luxuriating in their own luscious scent   Listen: This is the way I love.   This is the way,   Love.

[shellyrudolph-blog]

SOUL COMFORT

How do we live in love, stay on path in times like these? How do we comfort our souls, how do we comfort our beloveds, our neighbors, our unmet selves? How do we nurture and soothe our love-magma cores so that we are free to shine bright once more... fueled by this unlimited source power that we truly are? I don't know, but I'm working on it.

As usual, I turn to poetry-medicine to take me Home, to re-align myself body + soul. Hope it helps guide you there too. I love all you sweeties so much. xoxo

 This exquisite fullness,

This piercing heartbreak of beauty

Leaves dancing

Mouths lying

Humanity trying, trying, trying

Blossoming rocks

Silent singing

Echoless bewilderment

How can it be all at once?

[shellyrudolph-blog]

DAY 8: FAITH

[shellyrudolph-blog]

WINTER BREAKS

Winter breaks And my heart too   Soft and tender shoots Bursting, thirsting towards the shining And even the snow delights in the melting Of this meeting   While inside The mountains sigh As their winter coat is lifted And their silent song is carried By the birds once more   The river smooths her gown For the heron’s landing And we are all folded in The silence of her silvery charms Content in our yearning   Easy to be Gathering mossy poems To nest in quiet branches Gentle and safe Like the arms of a sweet-lipped lover   Spring calls.