I Run The Hell

'm not a writer, I'm the epitome of half forgotten ringing hearts that have left the lines in my hands that once held words

[m-l-rio]

There’s something masochistic about writing. Watch me break my own heart over and over again while I try to find the most effective way to break yours.

[princessdanhowell]

people are always like “are you a morning person or a night person” and I’m just like buddy I’m barely even a person

[lesbianeurydices]

Things overheard in my ap classes:

“Dude. I’m going to get so hammered this weekend.”

“I have to read crime and punishment by Monday- I’ll just do it all Sunday night" 

“If you could get full ride to any college by killing a man, would you do it?” “In a second.”

[A guy showing a girl how to put notes into a calculator in order to cheat on the AP calc BC test]  “My morals have crashed like the Russian economy after the collapse of the USSR.”

“What class is this?” “AP FIGHT CLUB”

“What if we all just didn’t show up for graduation?”

 “It is my unalienable right to not be here right now. I’m entitled to the pursuit of happiness and this isn’t it.” 

“I’ll pay you $15 to do my physics homework.” “Shit, I’ll do it for free if you do my lit homework.”

[1st hour AP Human Geo: A girl pours a bottle of mountain dew and a can of monster into a thermos, shakes it up, and drinks it in one go.] “I have tests in every hour today and I got 15 minutes of sleep. Desperate times, ya know?”

“But if you’re valedictorian, and she’s salutoriain, and the six of us are top 2%, then who’s driving the bus?”

“so. did anyone do the calc homework?” *chorus of no’s* “you know, i don’t know why I even asked.”

“maybe if we all pretend we don’t know what we’re doing, he’ll move the calculus test.” “Honey, I don’t even need to pretend.”

[w-i-t-c-h-e-r-y]

[w-i-t-c-h-e-r-y]

[shipped-gold-standards]

Hey yo CA here! I'm heading off to college tomorrow and after months of longing I've realized my guy was a DICK. Like honestly looking back I'm wondering why I wasted all that time and effort on him, not worth it at all. I'm glad we're still on friendly terms although I haven't spoken to him all summer but we're goin different places and I appreciated what we had while we had it. I felt obligated to wrap ends up for you lol :) hope you're doing well and all is good! Stay happy and smiling! Byeee

And they say happy endings aren't real.... I think this might be one of my favorite one actually.I'm sorry he turned out to be an absolute dick but at least it worked out for the best.Best of luck at college and hopefully you get everything you want out of it and more and always feel free to drop by no matter what and I'll always be glad to respond!

[prekrasnoe-mgnovenie]

[onetiredotter]

One of the best out takes from any television show, ever. 

[probablynappingtbh]

HE FUCKING STRAIGHT-FACED THAT

[kimpossibooty]

This man is a guardian of the galaxy

[jykinturah]

you can just see the split second where everyone is processing what he said

[strongbowdarkfruit]

this is so funny 

[strongbowdarkfruit]

terrible puns i’ve heard so far:

william bakespeare

william shakespliff 

much ado about puffing

a midsummer night’s weed 

please add to the list 

[sexyleftistsantaclause]

hamlit

[bushybrowboy-deactivated2015041]

My goal is to be that rich single aunt that flies everywhere and wears designer clothing and brings expensive gifts to her less successful family members

[hartwintrashcan]

[alphaqueer-blog]

None of this is wrong.

[blowfob-inactive]

◦

[bearzerky]

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

[imthejesusofsuburbia]

Fall out boy going over song lyrics to “sugar we’re going down”

[thatsthat24]

Stewie’s First Words 💬 (Feat. Vincent Marcus)

[kaleissi]

IM SCREAMING

[felicitycaitlin]

[queeranne]

I’ll never not reblog this

[mickeysphilharmagic]

From now on I am only accepting sexts in Dr. Seuss rhyme form

[mickeysphilharmagic]

“What’re you up to?” His simple text said. “Just eating cereal and lying in bed.” “What if I was with you?” he responded with ease, “I guess I’d get more cereal if I please.” And that’s when he said it, that simpering lad, that stupid response that makes all of us mad. My mind filled with dread, with a twist in my gut, I picked up my phone and read: “Haha, and then what ;)”

[satan-senpie]

A Guitar/Glockenspiel Duet With Myself

[shinierchrystal]

The best 7 second song there is

[donkeyvicks]

i watched this for like 10 minutes before reblogging