Incorrect Blackpink Quotes

Totally completely absolutely true things blackpink says

[shitblackpinksays]

Jennie: *pointing at a broken coffee machine* So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Rose: . . .

Lisa: . . .

Jisoo: . . .

Rose: . . .

Rose: I did. I broke it.

Jennie: No. No, you didn’t. Jisoo?

Jisoo: Don’t look at me. Look at Lisa!

Lisa: What?! I didn’t break it!

Jisoo: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Lisa: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Jisoo: Suspicious.

Lisa: No, it’s not!

Lisa: YOU were the last one to use it.

Jisoo: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Lisa: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Jisoo: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that!

Rose: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Jennie Unnie.

Jennie: No. Who broke it?

*In the back ten minutes later as the others continue to argue*

Jennie: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Jennie: cannibalism

Rose: *innocent, confused chewing noises*

[shitblackpinksays]

Lisa: What’s the word for horny but not in, like, a sexual way, like, I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin, you feel?

Jennie: I think the word you’re looking for is “excited”.

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Jennie: I’m a knife.

Jisoo, from across the room: She’s a little spoon.

[shitblackpinksays]

Jisoo: Lisa, you look like you’re about to pass out. Sit down and rest!

Lisa: I’m fine, I just pushed too hard in practice. I’m Lalisa Manoban, I push through the pain and show no signs of weakness!

Jisoo: Just yesterday you had to sit for ten minutes because you saw Jennie scratch her nose.

Lisa: She looked like a kitten!! What was I supposed to do, just collapse on the spot?!?

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: Just be yourself!

Lisa: Be myself? Rose, I have just one day to win over your parents. How long did it take before you started liking me?

Rose: Couple of weeks.

Jisoo: Six months.

Jennie: Jury’s still out.

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: A private company is looking for people who want to go to Mars and not come back.

Jisoo: I would do it.

Lisa: You would not! You say stuff like this all the time; "My retirement plan's a shotgun". You will never shoot yourself with a shotgun. You will never go to Mars and not come back. Bullshit. I call bullshit.

Jisoo: I will do it just to spite you. I will go to Mars out of spite, motherfucker! I will leave the planet and the whole time I'll just be like *Crosses arms* "I showed her".

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: Lisa, I’m so happy I could kiss you!

Lisa: *Nervous gay laughter* Umm... Neat!

[Later]

Lisa: *Lying face down on her bed* I can’t believe I said "Neat", Jennie. "Neat." Nobody says neat anymore! It’s the goddamn 21st century! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I'm a huge loser!

Jennie: *Idly turns magazine page* Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Jisoo confessed to me?

Lisa: Didn’t you like, thanked her?

Jennie: *Closes magazine to stare at the ceiling* I thanked her.

[shitblackpinksays]

Lisa: *finger guns* Hey, cool beans, how are you?

Rose: *whispers* She’s so cool.

Jennie: You have such low standards.

[shitblackpinksays]

Lisa: Every now and then I like to do as I'm told. Just to confuse people.

[shitblackpinksays]

Rose: Okay, would you rather be feared? Or loved?

Jennie: Both.

Rose: What? Why?

Jennie: I want people to be AFRAID of how much they LOVE me.

Rose: …That’s not how that wor-

Jennie: *aggressively but cutely* ITS HOW IT WORKS WHEN YOURE ME

[shitblackpinksays]

Jisoo: How do tall people like you sleep if your legs are longer than the blanket?

Rose: Jisoo… its 4 AM…

Jisoo: So you can’t sleep huh?

Jisoo: … Is it because of the blanket?

[shitblackpinksays]

​I just hit 1000 followers, I can’t believe so many people share my stupid sense of humour! Thank you all!

[shitblackpinksays]

Jennie, to the Maknae line: When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy porn or cigarettes because you can. No. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a damn sword. A big knife is also okay.

[shitblackpinksays]

Interviewer: What are your three best qualities?

Rose: I'm gay, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

[shitblackpinksays]

Jennie: Look, um, Lisa… I want to apologize for everything I said. For what it’s worth, I really like having you around.

Lisa: No you don’t.

Jennie: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

[shitblackpinksays]

Lisa: whats wrong with Jennie? she's been laying on the floor for like 30 minutes.

Rose: she's just a little overwhelmed right now.

Lisa: why?

Rose: Jisoo smiled.