sanguine

theo | 23 | he/him

[shittyteen]

eyebrow dandruff?

[shittyteen]

do i need to moisturize more or something. head and shoulders on the brows

[shittyteen]

eyebrow dandruff?

[clara-scintilla]

Fresh water fishes

Designs are open (except #5, #7, and #8) for claims! Dm if interested

[jimmyhoffathecat]

Used the flash to see what all the fucking noise was about

[wreegis]

there was an incident at work today

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

Straight people have access to an extra celebrity called “jelly roll” that the lgbtq can’t perceive

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[vitabreva]

[jimmyhoffathecat]

These boots were made for walking and that’s just what they’ll do

[shittyteen]

*the evil thoughts* what if i went back to bed for an hour………….

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[gyrovagi]

the problem with employment is it gives you money to purchase video games but it takes away your time to play video games. Mao spoke of this

[tahthetrickster]

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

[cryptidfuckery]

When doctors takes my blood they are all so impressed because I have little marajuana leaves floating around in there like glitter in a lava lamp

[whoknowswherethetimegoes]

Janis Joplin at Chelsea Hotel, 1969.

[miamaimania]

Papercraft Pig ~ Handmade (n.d.) — Paper sculpture

[bimboid]