Yahtzee Out Of Context

The fast talking Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw handles The Escapist's Zero Punctuation feature and says some pretty interesting things from time to time.

[lvkesprite-deactivated20120720]

what old joke are we going to bring back next

[greysoldblog-blog]

[sarahsoldblogwoah-blog]

NO

[greysoldblog-blog]

[knightarcana]

MY FAVORITE

[watchhowidinosaur-deactivated20]

you forgot one

[shityahtzeesays]

There is no middle finger big enough!

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Zelda? More like Smellda.... Fart.... I Smellda fart..

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Did her hooters dispense soft serve ice cream?

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Gonna have to play the new Thief with a lobster on each bollock

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Shut up or fuck off, ideally both in either order

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

But then, most people don't understand why I like putting lettuce around my cock and hiding it in other peoples salad.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Maybe all gaming is pointless, just toying with the gravel on the big road of life. But hey, at leader there’s violence and tits!

Benjamin. “Yahtzee” Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

The console wars are all ultimately futile because the best game ever, Fantasy World Dizzy for the Commodore 64 has already been made.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

There was a sudden snap, and a massive burst of sweet-smelling flame roared briefly into life like Satan's first morning fart

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

I thought it was very odd for the game to end with Gwen Stacy fisting Peter Parker with a handful of baby grasshoppers.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Now Timmy, we can only get you an xbox with 5 games for Christmas this year because you did blow torch your initials into your sister..

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Crabs were giving me a lot of trouble.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

Pirate themed Ugandan child slavery

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

I refuse to use the word "Blog" because it sounds like something that lives on the riverbed and communicates through farts.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

So its back into the winklepickers of Ezio Audacity the Refrigerator.

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw

[shityahtzeesays]

FAFF AND THE WORLD FAFFS WITH YOU!

Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw