十月想的事

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

It's a bad habit something I should quit

If that were easy why call it habit

These fingers wander with thoughts half-aware

Until it's too late and skin breaks through wear

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

There is a quiet stirring going on

Within the council room right before dawn

A serpent's advice licking at my ears

Body held hostage by bodiless fears

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

A pot of random soup in cold weather

The list of dishes we'd make together

The warm light of the microwave at night

And sounds of contentment with every bite

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

It's simple talking to strangers and friends

Good mornings hellos thank yous to no ends

Ingrained instincts from social override

Compared to home where my words feel all dried

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

I don't really remember a street's name

Or where exactly it is to no shame

Houses mark roads and there's guides when I roam

A part of the freeway signals near home

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

There's a pile of them folded in squares

Sticky designs cracked into little tears

With names and dates taking up all the space

None I wear once past the time and place

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

Summer vacations used to last so long

And now ninety some days just flash along

And now there's no break just merely summer

And nothing's achieved as days grow glummer

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

There was a time when I wrote about him

In essays where he's hero's synonym

Truth is I was never given the space

To look past his views and find my own place

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

The shore never feels like its too far

The bottom deep as if diving towards stars

Yet never forget that water's the same

Bound or not it never frees its claim

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

If a house does not always mean a home

What do they search for gazing at the dome

Of paint-marked plaster yawning high above

Testifying here will teach you to love

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

I don't have experience with these things

Students gathered at night tugging at strings

Following the same path others once took

Struggling to replicate what's in the book

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

There are things I would one day like to see

But if I don't it's not that sad for me

Out loud they're trivial and pretty small

That I sometimes forget they're there at all

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

Add-ons in coffee don't faze me any

Even with honey and toppings many

But a drop of milk that clouds amber brews

Makes a whole 'nother drink this I accuse

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

They sigh about frogs down in deep stone wells

And crabs pulling legs like funeral bells

From this circle of sky they are but rubes

Yet who threw them down to struggle in tubes

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

There are days where I wish I hear no words

See no whispers taste no whistle of birds

Sharpness is meaningless to a numbed nose

Today the dusk burns the color of rose

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

A fascination with the fanciful

A child's world once all fantastical

With myths and legends stretched awe-fully tall

When did reality become so small

[shiyuexiangdeshi]

if you know me avert your perception

take in my self without recognition

an actor who masks in a stranger's name

briefly alive while playing the game