Dark Thoughts

Anything by xcarly is me

[shortstoriesx]

I used to want to be awake, now I'm happier when I sleep. It's funny how much I want to sleep yet I still can't get any

-xcarly

[shortstoriesx]

It's 2:37 am, I'm awake in bed. All I can think about is all the things I regret. All I can do is replay my every move. All I can think about is how much I'm missing you. I'm not even tired despite the fact I've been up till 3 am for the past week

Xcarly

[shortstoriesx]

Guitar

It was silent. Other thank the quick cool strums of his electric guitar. Yes it was silent but not awkwardly. He was focused heavily on getting all the chords right. You were lying on the bed across from him and where reading. Until you gave up you're book and just watched him try. You never said a word just watched. He didn't say anything either. But that was the magic, you never felt obligated to say something because it wasn't awkward. It was like home

[shortstoriesx]

The beach

it’s too dark to see the details on his face. But light enough to see the wide grin. The one he has when he’s seeing something amazing. The warm breeze that lifts up the ends of your hair just a bit. The crashing waves that sound much more restless under the moon. The sand getting stuck between your toes but you can’t care because your having fun. Running into the cold water and feeling a small wave crash on to your ankles. First the feeling of the sand being released than the freezing water hit you and you let out a laugh and a shiver. Why did you run into the water? No reason other than boredom and many movie scenes that have convinced you that you have to do this. You just stand for a moment looking at the small helicopter quietly glide through the sky until it fades into silence. It’s not silence really but it felt silent. It seemed like a small bubble was over them. As they looked from the boardwalk and rushing city across from them and the endless sea across from them. Still freezing water crashing on to their ankles. Car and city lights flashing from above giving you quick glances of the others face. You reach out and grab there hand and the warm touch makes you chuckle a bit at the sillyness of this moment because it brings you back to reality. You run out of the water on to the sand. Never letting go of his hand. Ryan’s hand. Until he picks you up and threatens to throw you in the water. Even though you are sending small pleas through gentle laughs you keep a firm grasp on his neck and know he would never throw you in. Once you grow tired of your small game you crash on to the sand in the same way as the waves and lie down still slightly recovering from your laughing fit. Not caring about the sand in your hair you just calm and look at his face . You look at eachother and take a moment. It’s silent but there is so much love there that they didn’t need to tell each other to sit up and lean against each other like a routine. You just sit there for a bit. It isn’t cold it’s a warm summer night. Not burning like the day had been but not cold and you are still getting that breeze. You almost want to sleep there. Or capture the moment forever. But you can’t so you sit for what seems as hours but is just a few moments until you make light conversation and jokes. Nothing you will remember in the long run but in that moment it’s the most important conversation ever. Small laughs keeping a grin on your face . You smell the ocean and wish you could make this scent in to a candle. When you exchange this thought he laughs you off . You laugh too but you know that you might buy a beach candle and you both will love it. When you decide to leave it’s much after midnight. And the silent walk back to the house is silent mostly but not awkward just nice. Humming along to a song you heard this morning. Him teasing you for the repeated humming from you. But you don’t care and just break out into song . Who cares what the time is. Once you are home you almost immediately fall asleep. Because nothing else is needed out of this night. Just the warmth of his body

[shortstoriesx]

Some days Days like today I feel so dead Almost like a corpse I feel so dead Maybe because I so desperately want to be

xcarly

[shortstoriesx]

I could be a galaxy If only you would Open your eyes And look up

xcarly

[shortstoriesx]

“Music is for people who can’t handle their own thoughts”

-Matty Healy (via shortstoriesx)

[shortstoriesx]

"There's always that fear of your own head and what you're going to think"

-Tyler Joseph

[shortstoriesx]

"Music is for people who can't handle their own thoughts"

-Matty Healy

[shortstoriesx]

it's better to burn out than to fade away

kurt cobain