- Zaïnab El Meziani
Perhaps it's my own fault, for giving my whole heart, to people who leave and tear it apart.
am I to blame? © All Rights Reserved — Jai
"Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, just to feel the happiness that comes with childhood."
──── ୨୧ ────
"On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous": A 2019 debut novel by Ocean Vuong // Quote by Alain de Botton // Quote by Ryan O'Connell // "I Remember, I Remember": A poem by Thomas Hood // Scar tissue from "Scar tissue": A book by Charles Wright // The Society of Dead poets on Instagram // Quote by Louise Gluck // The Wanderer on Instagram // "A Nostalgic Life": A book by Cyril Connolly// "Noggin": A book by John Corey Whaley.
Coming Up for Air
A fist-sized stone
deep in the Earth
is on the edge of becoming magma.
It has been underground
for billions of years,
in darkness since before life awoke.
It will rise,
touch sunlight,
taste rain and cool,
erode into soil,
become new, green grass,
nourish a mother deer,
be born into a wildflower meadow.
The stone will take its first breath.
[From the poetry collection Leaf Litter by Jarod K. Anderson]
── Carmen Berzatto
content: short oneshot / slowburn / Carmy x fem!reader
Eyes don’t lie
Living under Carmy’s gaze was a guaranteed, constant state of stress.
It wasn't because he was demanding, annoying, or rude; it was the fact that, even without realizing it, his eyes were glued to you at all times—no matter how many times you caught him doing it.
Perhaps judging you.
The fact that he watched you all the time made you feel... restless. Not only that, but also the way he closed the distance between you when you spoke, or how he subconsciously brushed against you whenever he passed by.
Your relationship had always been strictly professional. You never tried to approach him in any other way, not even to strike up a friendship. He knew it, and he didn't judge you for it; he knew how difficult he could be to deal with, or how distant he could get with people. He kept it professional too, even though, deep down, the only thing he truly needed was to get closer.
That was why he sought out situations like this one. Moments where he could step close enough to your side that you could feel the fabric of his navy-blue apron brush against your bare forearms. "Subconsciously"—in very heavy quotation marks—he rested his hand on the stainless-steel table, innocently cornering you, just watching. His nose brushed against your hair, and for a moment, he could almost catch the scent of your shampoo.
"You can't use the same amount of force for all vegetables when you're chopping," he explained in that soft, incredibly calm voice he always used—the same one that sent a shiver down your spine every time he uttered a sentence right behind you.
He leaned in beside you, looking into your eyes with that same intensity for a few seconds that felt like hours to you. You shifted timidly to let him correct you, but he gripped your arm firmly, keeping you in place. He didn’t hesitate for a second to take both of your hands to show you how to do it. "You need to learn how to do it right, or you'll hurt yourself," he murmured flatly, drily, with no double meaning at the end of his sentence. You could feel the warmth of his fingers over yours, guiding his hands on top of yours over the knife, dicing a carrot with expert precision and a surprising amount of gentleness.
You could almost hear Carmy swallow hard once the lesson was over. It took him a few seconds to pull away, freezing completely behind you. His hand rose to rest on your hip, and with a gentle squeeze, he finally stepped back, turning his back to you to walk away—but not before giving you a quick nod and heading back to his own station.
(maybe i should consider extend this)
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