By choice or chance;

I am Xehanort from the most distant past. My future self gave me a task— to visit the splintered versions of myself in many worlds, and ensure they gathered here today. [Independent Young Master Xehanort roleplay blog. Formerly aleapthroughtime.]

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buxom-badass replied to your post

//don’t restrain.

GURL PLS.

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redheadedflame replied to your post

[I hope you get better soon. :c]

[Aaah thanks! ;w; I'm now on meds and such, but I'm pretty worn out a lot of the time haha. ^^; Nice to meetcha, by the way. c:]

[kyliekingdom-deactivated2014042]

Visit Original Link

Mashup of Dark Impetus + 8-bit style.

Requested by anonymous

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"Is it over..?"

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He listens without interruption, absorbing the information, eyes lowered slightly, but watching him all the same. It was almost hard to digest, that he’d gotten so close to someone only to near-completely forget them. He supposed it was a testament to his own feelings that despite whatever had decided he had to forget, it had failed, if only a small amount. 

It was the sincerity of the other’s words that touched him the deepest though. It made his head spin and his stomach twist. Was it the feelings he’d once had for this teenager that had subconsciously opened him up to the idea of being in a relationship with Xemnas? That had warmed him and allowed him the idea that Xemnas might not have been as bad as he’d seemed?

He takes a slow, shaky breath.

"I may have forgotten everything, but… I don’t think… I don’t think my heart did. Not completely. I don’t know why I forgot. But I know it wasn’t what I wanted. And I know… that what happened between us, even if I forgot it, part of it still guided me along.”

He slowly lets go of one of the other’s wrists to put his hand on his head—lightly petting silver strands.

"You’re not a monster," and it makes that hateful part of him writhe, the part that wanted someone to blame for everything bad. And here was someone who was already putting the blame on himself—and he just couldn’t do it. His heart wouldn’t let him.

"You can’t be blamed for what your future self does."

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"Look at you," Xehanort began, frustrated with how readily the redhead seemed to brush aside his responsibility for the things that would happen in the future. "Look at what's become of you. You're telling me that I can't be blamed for it?"

Even he himself didn't believe that. At some point in time, he would do all of these terrible things... Worst of all, he'd do it all willingly. This was the work of his own two hands, and he was desperately ashamed of every horrid act that he was supposed to commit, along with any others that he likely hadn't been made aware of.

Just where had it all gone so wrong? He was distant and strange much of the time - but never did he think he was capable of such cruelty.

"How the hell can you be so nice to me? I've ruined your life!" It was at that point that he finally broke down. The boy lifted his free hand and wept straight into it, chest heaving as he did his best to fight off the flood of emotion that swept in.

"God-- I'm going to be that man someday, and I cannot bear it!"

[buxom-badass-deactivated2016080]

shortynorty replied to your post:"Don’t make me beg.” [uvu heh heh heh]

[oH]

//Don’t get excited

you don’t kisses either, Hayley.

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He looks away but doesn’t let go. It hurt to hear that, and while he knew it shouldn’t get to him—but considering what the other said… perhaps there was a reason for that pain. He looks back as the other tries to claw away from him, but his gloves and coat protect him from the worst of it, and he doesn’t let go. He lets him wear out that will to struggle. He grunts at the dead weight, thin frame nearly yanked over by it, so he grabs for the other wrist, pulls the younger closer to him.

He drops his gaze, a rather wounded expression on his features. What had he forgotten? Surely it was something important by Xehanort’s reaction—and the way his own heart felt like it was squeezing itself into a ball.

"I’m sorry," he says softly "I’m sorry—I just can’t remember. And I don’t know why, but I know—” He sighs, shakily “I don’t like the idea of forgetting something—” he breaks off and then continues, quieter “..someone. Let alone someone I was apparently close to.”

He knew they had to have been—there was no other explanation for Xehanort’s reaction and the way his own heart was aching. And he knew it was bad to go searching through the memories of his heart. Disconnected though they may have been, he knew that somewhere deep inside was the knowledge and memory he needed. But he had such near perfect memory too— it was strange for him to forget something so important. So why did this familiarity seem like something out of a dream he couldn’t quite remember?

"Just—what was I to you?”

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"I-- I don't know. On my journey to collect my other selves, I wound up in the old Radiant Garden.The version of myself that I encountered there wasn't yet fit for purpose, and as I contemplated leaving... I ran into you."

A wistful smile appeared upon his lips, his expression a mixture of fondness and deep sadness all at once. "I never wanted to get too involved with anyone from the future... But you were such a stubborn boy, dead set upon befriending me no matter what. Before I knew it, I came to enjoy the company of another person for the first time in what felt like an age, but I was terrified about what you would think of me when you eventually learned the truth."

Releasing a shallow breath, he stared down at the tips of his boots, clenching and unclenching his toes as a means of distracting himself from the tears that threatened to fall. "--And when you did find out, you were okay... Or at least as okay as anyone can be in that situation. You still liked me for who I was, not what I was to become in the future. You were the first and only person to treat me like I wasn't worth less than the dirt upon their shoes. You even stuck by me no matter how many times I had to leave without explanation... And I-- I think I loved you."

He wasn't sure of that, however. Not once in his life had he experienced real 'love' before now. He was still confused as to how he'd felt for the redhead, and it definitely reflected upon his features.

"Our time together was always overshadowed by the fact that I couldn't stay. When I return to my timeline, I'm supposed to forget everything about my experiences in the future so that I'd follow my correct path, but I hadn't known that other people would also forget me..." Then again, it did make sense. You could not just rewrite the events that were destined to happen, right?

If that was true, then how had Axel wound up like this? Was it, perhaps, that key events could not be changed, but there could be minor changes with the people involved in them? That would explain the existence of his female self, at least...

"All I ever wanted was for someone to remember me as I was, but that's the last thing a monster like me could possibly deserve, isn't it?"

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"...Ugh. Seems like I overslept."

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Somehow—and Axel didn’t know why—he didn’t believe that. He doesn’t let go of the other’s wrist, pulling him closer if anything, leveling a stare at him that was slowly taken under an almost detached calm.

"You’re lying," he says, "I can tell." How? He didn’t know, it was the same feeling he got when Saix—Isa—lied to him. He could tell just by looking at him that he was lying to him. He wasn’t as confident about it, if only because he didn’t know how he just knew, but he could tell. 

"Tell me why you look at me like my very existence causes you… pain.”

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"--Because it does cause me pain!" Xehanort answered, unable to help but strike out verbally. He'd been cornered, unable to escape his discomfort. Any attempt at deception was quashed immediately, and-- Oh, was he ever hurting.

"You forgot me! You forgot everything!" The boy had never dealt well with vulnerability, but this was different, so raw and inescapable that all he could do was scream out and try his damnedest to pull free, spare hand scrambling to relinquish the hold upon him. He hated how weak this made him feel - despised how his chest clenched so tightly every time he looked Axel's way.

Struggling, however, did little to change the situation, and no matter how tempted he was to lash out physically, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not to him. Not to his Lea.

After a while, he grew tired of trying to wriggle free, tone dulling to a shaky and uneven whisper. "Worst of all... I-- I find you like this." He let his weight fall back, kept standing limply by the arm as he fought back every part of him that just wanted to break down and cry. Perhaps he may very well look like a sulking child, but that could easily blamed on his lack of maturity, given his young age.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. I never wanted this fate for you."

[freeshooterxig-deactivated-deac]

The smug smirk stayed plastered on his face, even as the finger prodded him right between a rib. “I’m stronger than I look,” he quipped back, the back of his hand lifting to push the master’s hand aside. “Besides, I’m no Keyslinger. Putting something like that on me would be pointless.” He was a sniper, a tactician. Brains and speed where the only things he really needed at his arsenal. To his credit, he couldn’t even remember the last time where he needed to throw a punch where one of his arrows could have done the trick.

He chuckled however, quirking a brow. “Oho. And there’s the cry of desperation for attention,” he started over a hum. “If you’re up to it, I do know of one place.”

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"If I was desperate for anyone's attention, it certainly wouldn't be yours." The young man let out an indignant huff, arms folding across his chest as he turned his back upon the elder man. He was awfully stubborn, particularly when it came to displaying any sort of dependency upon others.

Xehanort had an obligation of sorts to live up to the Master's name and refrain from tarnishing his reputation; he couldn't allow himself to become too attached to others... Though, at times, he would inadvertently present himself as little more than an angry teenager.

Despite himself, his attention slowly turned back upon his ally, lips pressed into a firm line. The offer was awfully tempting, and he was awfully bored... 

"Fine. I'll go."

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"Well - perhaps. It’s so nice of you to take initiative to tell me that it wasn’t you, so perhaps I mightn’t accuse you of making such an ignorant statement after all.”

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Leather-clad hands come together in a slow clap, the boy's features devoid of any positive expression. "Wow. I am so reassured. Please, spare me your insincerity."

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Amber eyes widen slightly at the outburst, and he narrowly contains his shock and anger at such an act. He almost takes a step back, almost, but he’s too stubborn for that. He’s always been too stubborn for that.

He almost snaps, but he barely contains himself, barely holds in the fire that was just itching to be set loose—that was getting harder some days. Darkness and fire created a destructive force that Axel still had trouble controlling sometimes. The urge to burn and ruin. To raze everything to the ground until nothing but blackness—ash and darkness—remained.

A gloved hand reaches out, snatching at a tan wrist to tug the teen to force him to stay and look at him, and amber meets a similar hue, a burning stare meeting an angry, hurt one.

"Just what’s your problem with me hmm? Stop looking at me like that. None of the other’s have bothered to spare a passing remorse for what’s happened to me—so what makes you different?”

And, silent questions— Axel was certain he didn’t remember meeting him. Not once. So why did he feel so familiar? Why did the way he was looking at him hurt so much?

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"Don't touch me." The boy huffed, desperate to release the hold upon his wrist. He was repulsed, not so much by the man before him, but at himself, and at what he'd done - intentionally or otherwise.

Just what the hell was he supposed to do? Confess?

What good would it do when Axel likely hated him already? To speak up would likely only cause the redhead further distress than he was already experiencing. In Xehanort's eyes, it was far better if he was the only one left hurting by this encounter...

This was what he deserved, wasn't it? He was the sole cause of all of this suffering. Why the hell should he make it any harder for any one of his victims to hate him any less, regardless of previous history? It didn't change what he'd done in their timeline, and what he would do in his own future.

"Nothing makes me any different, actually. If anything, I'm worse than all of the others. It's best that you remember that, and remember it well."

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"I didn’t even say it was you, but your denying it before I even mentioned any names is already…suspicious enough.”

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"Good grief. I cause a bit of mischief from time to time, so I thought that I'd say something before someone pointed the finger at me. Doesn't matter, anyway-- I'm guessing I'd be interrogated one way or another just because of my sheer immaturity, right?"

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Squints in suspicion. “Oh?”

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"Don't look at me like that. I didn't do it, damn you!"

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Reading is Boring

[perditus-vitae]

Snatched book and glanced over it. “Ok, seriously…what the Hell is this? Like…I want to go to sleep just Looking at this.”

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"That's your opinion, perhaps, but it's only because you lack the intelligence to appreciate and understand such knowledge.."

Go to sleep? Who the hell did he think he was--? 

"Now... Hand. It. Back."