it weighs as it should.

i thought i heard the shuffle of angel's feet.

[shothell]

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a private, low-activity blog for nicholas d. wolfwood of trigun. exploring themes of righteousness, change, and love. mixed canon. triggering content present. 18+.

i. this blog is private and low activity. i have other commitments outside of tumblr. i am often low on spoons and have a hard time interacting with people unless we're close out of character. your patience is appreciated, and will absolutely be returned. my discord and twitter are available on request.

ii. i format a little, but nothing too wild. i don't use icons. i use the beta editor, so please keep this in mind when writing with me. i don't care how you format, but i do ask that rapidly fluctuating text sizes and "fancy" fonts not be used with me.

iii. i tag triggers with trigger /. i won't be tagging topics of religion on this blog. i have no triggers that need tagged, but would appreciate nsfw images being tagged with something simple.

iv. i write wolfwood as bisexual with a strong preference for men. my main ship on this blog is written with shotheaven's vash. i am not really open to other ships unless it's with close friends. in the event that we do have a ship, i practice ship exclusivity and i prefer it to be mutual.

v. i draw influences from both trigun maximum and trigun stampede for my portrayal, with a little bit of '98 sprinkled in. eventually, i'll write out the intricacies of my portrayal, but in the meantime, feel free to ask me about it. i also rely heavily on headcanons, and the one that will most prominently be featured here is that wolfwood is a trans man.

vi. plantcest shippers will be blocked. minors will be blocked. i'm not duplicate friendly - this is nothing against other wolfwoods, of course, but i like to curate my own space to my comfort level.

portrayal notes. these are notes important to how i write wolfwood, and his blog's canon. please read to get a general idea of how i navigate things!

watch this space i'll write stuff here eventually.

name. nicholas d. wolfwood. age. appears to be roughly 28 years old. height. 6'1. gender. trans man (he/they). orientation. bisexual. eyes. deep brown. hair. black, tastefully disheveled. miscellaneous details. slightly elongated teeth, specifically in his canines. this is a result of the eye of michael's serum altering his body.

[shothell]

hey

[shothell]

what do y'all know about wolfwood

[shothell]

his cross is laid down, somewhere near the entrance to the orphanage. if nicholas had had it is his way, he would've buried it, left the punisher in the past where it belonged. but miss melanie, livio, and every single child who's life had been spared insisted it as a symbol. a beacon. proof that saviors are real and not just written in black and white by some men from a lifetime before. it had taken time to rebuild. the orphanage, his body, remnants of a life that he had never been able to live before. but it had rebuilt, and flowers had bloomed, and sometimes, it's still more than nicholas feels he deserves.

the morning sun filters in through the window and reflects off the gold band resting on the counter. nicholas looks down to his hand and tilts it this way and that, inspecting the matching ring on his own finger. this little luxury is something he had never pictured for himself. but then, there are a lot of things he'd never pictured — putting the punisher aside and simply being nicholas again. retirement, or something like it. a wedding band and a marriage bed and more than half a dozen kids who have taken to calling he and vash papa. most shocking though was this morning, when he'd caught a glimpse of his reflection and the pure black of his hair was marred by a streak of grey, just at his temple. he'd laughed, because he hadn't known what else to do. @shotheaven had kissed him senseless and nicholas had let it happen, because it was something they both deserved.

dark eyes lift from the golden band around his finger to study his husband. vash is beautiful. vash is everything nicholas could've ever wanted. his brow raises slightly when vash begins to speak, but he waits patiently for him to continue. the pause between words feels like nothing now, not when they have all the time in the world.

vash finishes speaking, and nicholas can't quite stop the way his mouth hangs open. for a moment, he remains dumbfounded. and then, he smiles. shifts and moves in close til he can wrap his arms around vash. leans in and rests his head against his lover's shoulder.

❝ y'think so? ❞ he makes it a point to keep vash's past kept under lock and key, waiting instead for vash to bring it to light. he thinks now, it might be easier since he no longer has to run. to fight. easier, now, that he has his brother too. next week, there will be a family dinner. knives and livio over for dinner as their nieces and nephews cause a new kind of chaos when they think their dads aren't looking. he gives a gentle squeeze around vash's waist. ❝ you should tell me more about her. someday. whenever yer ready. ❞ cont.

[ohisms]

↪     𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑫 ᶜᵘʳᶤᵒˢᶤᵗʸ .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted question prompts .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   will  be  updated  frequently .  )

are you kidding me ?

[ name ] ,  what just happened ?

hey !  what’d you do that for ?

did you plan on ever telling me ?

do you want to tell me the truth ,  this time ?

you seriously think i could’ve done this ?

did you know about this ?

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?!

can we talk ?  alone ?

why are you doing all of this ?

it can’t be that bad ,  right ?

haven’t you heard the stories ?

who did this to you ?

what are you insinuating ?

what did you think was gonna happen ?!

you think i could do something like that ?

who do you think you are ?

why won’t you let me help you ?

do you have any evidence of that ?

can we put away our differences for a second ?

where have you been ? 

is that  …  blood ?

what’s your problem ?

are you real ?

where’s your sense of adventure ?

would you kill for me ?

you’re  [ name ] ,  aren’t you ?

why can’t you just let it go ?

do you want me to stay ?

what if we left  …  ran away ?

what else was i supposed to do ?

how did you get this scar ?

could you give me a hand with this ?

do you ever stop talking ?

you’ve never done this before ,  have you ?

where do you think you’re going ?

how many fingers am i holding up ?

what can i say to make it better ?

why can’t we all just get along ?

can i stay the night ?

what’s that supposed to mean ?

where did your common sense go ?

you seriously don’t believe me ?

what aren’t you telling me ?

do you have a minute ?

why are you lying ?

you’re gonna walk away from this ?

where am i supposed to go ?

can we stop and think about this rationally ?

how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

why can’t we be civil about this ?

what makes you so special ?

where is all of this coming from ?

how are we gonna get out of here ?

you’ll never leave me ,  right ?

were you in on this ?

care to join me for a bit ?

shows what you know ,  doesn’t it ?

do you want to get out of here ?

what were you expecting to happen ?

what are you working on ?

i can tell you’re upset ,  what happened ?

when can i see you again ?

where do we go from here ?

can you sit up for me ?

how long have you been awake ?

what are you getting out of this ?

can we put this behind us ?

where are you ?  nobody’s heard from you .

how can i make this go away ?

were you following me ?

where does it hurt ?  show me .

[ name ] ,  what the hell ?

hey  …  can i ask you something ?

you’re not gonna tell me where we’re going ?

really ?  you’re gonna do that right here ?

are you even listening to me ?

we can help each other ,  right ?

hey  …  did you hear that ?

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

how long have you known ?

what exactly are you asking me to do ?

how was i supposed to know that ?

are you new around here ?

can you stop and listen to me for a second ?

do you think there’s something wrong with me ?

what ,  you think i’m not qualified ?

why did you help me ?

can you just look at me ,  please ?

what can i do to convince you ?

where did we go wrong ?

oh my god ,  are you bleeding ?

why the long face ?

are you trying to get yourself killed ?

what do you make of this ?

how much do you wanna bet ?

you’re sure this will work ?

why are you so concerned about me ?

what are you trying to prove ?

did you ever care about me ?

are you drunk ?

isn’t this amazing ?

how long have you been standing there ?

what are you suggesting ?

why are you such a pessimist ?

did you know them ?

can we call it a day ?

where did you come from ?

[ryneacle]

she couldn't be sure of just how long they'd been walking -- midgar was bigger (and louder) than she'd anticipated, and while ungrateful was the last thing she wanted to come off as, it was almost too much to bear. almost. if not for her guide, for the chance at freedom, she might have given up hours ago. "is it much farther? the leaf house, i mean?" once, she might have doubted such a place existed. but aerith had been so steady in her belief that it was the best place for her that it'd been hard to refuse the offer. and...well, here they were now.

@shothell

[shothell]

❝ nah. not too much. y'gettin' tired or somethin', pumpkin? ❞ he inclines his head towards her with the question, a brow lifting as he glances at her over his sunglasses. really, the leaf house isn't that far. but it's felt like a journey he was ill-prepared for in their time traveling. the girl is good company, at least; of course, he'd still do this even if she was bad company. no one should be in a situation like hers, and well, since aerith had asked... he'd be hard-pressed to say no. ❝ or just excited? s'nice. i think you'll like it there. sure beats the hell outta- well. y'know where. ❞ he tries not to think about how his head could be gotten for this. he tries not to think about much other than each step he takes. ❝ could give you a piggyback ride if yer tired, though. ❞

[shothell]

no offense but when vash told wolfwood "if you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d see a man forcing himself to play the devil while his own heart cries out." yeah

[altades]

Let this kiss be a prayer to the innocence we stole from you

gotta repost all the art wrongfully banished to the shadow realm

[shothell]

i changed my grandfather's browser homepage to your blog and now he refuses to go on the internet

OLD MAN! if you're reading this! i am going to GET YOU

[heartslight]

okay, but this guy can’t just say that the weapon was kinda heavy and then manhandle it as if it weighed less than paper. it only worked to make sora curious; surely, it couldn’t actually be that heavy. he could probably pick it up himself if he really tried. but he won’t, because it’s not his weapon and it’s not polite to touch things that don’t belong to you! ❛ there's something dangerous about your cross? ❜ now the curiosity was really starting to flare up, head tilted to the side as if that was going to help in seeing something hidden within the cloth. ❛ what, is it like a big sheath? do you have a sword in there? or some kind of little creature? you can’t just say something like that and not give an explanation! ❜ there's no helping the snort that leaves at the ‘ too young ’ comment, sora fighting the urge to roll his eyes. instead, he’ll just laugh before throwing some familiar words right back at him. ❛ go ahead and try me. after all, what you see isn’t always what you’re gonna get. who knows, my definition of dangerous might be different than yours, old man. ❜

[shothell]

❝ old man? how the hell old d'ya think i am? ❞ okay, well. really, that's fair, he supposes. he could do without his own words being tossed right back in his face, but... fair is fair. wolfwood should know better than most to never underestimate a kid — even if that kid is kinda goofy looking. ❝ told ya i can't show ya, but i guess if i were to tell ya it couldn't hurt too much... ❞ it could, actually. but maybe he wants to be a show off; or maybe he wants to prove his point. really, does it matter? it's dangerous, whether he proves it or not. especially in the wrong hands. he braces the cross more securely, and thinks a moment. then, a lightbulb moment; he'll offer a deal. surely, it's a good enough one that can't be refused. he knows he wouldn't have been able to refuse it, when he was a child (in fact, this had sweetened the pot for him!). ❝ how 'bout you try an' pick her up, huh? if y'can do that easy enough, i'll take her binding off. show ya what she's got inside. isn't a sword, an' definitely not a creature, but if ya can lift 'er even a little, i'll show ya what she's all about. rocket launcher and all. ❞

[shothell]

stop being mean to my cat

tell your cat to stop being mean to me or else he can open his own can of food.

[ryneacle]

"i don't think this is a very good idea."

@shothell / sc.

[shothell]

❝ 'course it's a good idea, pumpkin. all of my ideas are good ones. y'just gotta trust me. ❞

[vashtaylor]

// GUNSMOKE

[heartslight]

it was one of his positive aspects; the way sora could find common ground with anyone, the way his heart could stretch beyond the breaking point and connect with whoever comes into contact. sometimes, it didn’t even take all that much! ❛ is it really heavy? it looks like it should be. ❜ there still wasn’t a weapon that could top the ridiculous - ness of the keyblade.. but seeing @shothell with a big plus sign came pretty close! ❛ how do you fight with it? it looks like it’s uncomfortable to hold. ❜ / ( starter call. )

[shothell]

❝ s'kinda heavy, but y'get used to the weight of it. ❞ the punisher is held by its carrying strap, hooked around two fingers and carried over his shoulder. this image is the perfect contradiction of his words — with great ease, wolfwood brings the cross around, and sets it against the soft dirt with a heavy thud. ❝ can't tell ya all my secrets, kiddo. but i can tell ya what y'see isn't always what yer gonna get. but i don't just swing it around, if that's what yer wonderin'. not all the time, anyways. ❞ he taps at one of the straps securing the cloth binding and grins, cigarette clamped between his teeth. ❝ if i were to undo these right now, you'd see this ain't just any ol' cross. it's a special cross. but i think yer a lil' too young to be seein' all of that. it's dangerous. ❞

[shothell]

finally! a moment alone. just him, the sounds of the night, and the pack of cigarettes that has been burning a hole in his pocket since his arrival at the gainsborough home. he's sat at the table, still wary of stepping outside with all of the flora — the pollen has left his sinuses in agony, and he's not keen on sneezing the night away. a window is cracked all the same, the sound of water and crickets filling the room with their calming melody. he'd double-checked, and then triple-checked, to be certain he could smoke in peace without stepping out.

satisfied with his inspection, wolfwood reaches for his lighter. places a cigarette between his lips and even without lighting it, he almost feels a sense of relief. eyes close, and he flicks the lighter to life. is just about to touch it to the end of the cigarette, and—

❝ don't even think about it. ❞ @dawnmantle's voice cuts through the cricket's song and the silence of the house. wolfwood's eyes shoot open and when his gaze lands on elmyra, his expression drops. the flame dies out and he sets the lighter down. spits the cigarette out on the table and he'll deny pouting later.

❝ damn it. ❞ it's muttered under his breath, before he clears his throat. straightens up and recollects the items that will probably seal his fate, one way or another. ❝ sorry, mrs. g. ❞ he says, and to his credit, he does sound vaguely apologetic. he tucks his lighter away. pushes himself to his feet and nods towards the door. the very thought of stepping outside with all of that flora makes him uneasy. one misplaced petal and nicholas knows he'll sneeze himself into an early grave.

❝ i'll step out. thought y'ladies were asleep already. ❞

[royalarms-a]

❛ you sure this is the place ? ❜

HAND FALLS CASUALLY TO HIS HIP , STANCE GUARDED & DOUBTFUL . he sighs & shakes his head slightly , the tiniest bits of hairs brushing against his eyes .

| @shothell . . . ♥

[shothell]

❝ 'course i'm sure, drowsy. ❞ wolfwood gestures; a wide sweep of his arm to showcase the grandeur of their destination. frankly, there's nothing grand about it. he grins all the same. ❝ y'gonna question yer trusty guide? i'm offended. ❞

[soaringstill-moved]

"been a while." times changed, bars didn't -- matter of fact, they still had that hole in the wall from the last time someone had been smashed enough to start a fight. people changed too, the way he walked in was evidence enough that he was carrying a heavier cross than usual. but that could wait -- for now, she could start off by doing her job. "--still a whiskey, right?"

@shothell hi

[shothell]

he leaves his cross at the door — literally, and metaphorically. the bar is empty enough he doesn't worry that it might go missing. the lot around here likely aren't strong enough to carry it, anyway. sunglasses are lifted to rest atop his head, and wolfwood offers her a smile. ❝ heya, firecracker. ❞ he greets, and no exhaustion in the world could mask the genuine delight at seeing her. he takes a seat at the bar, and leans forward, arms crossed on the counter. ❝ still a whiskey. maybe a water too, if you can spare it. had a long trip. ❞