For a second — okay, maybe a few seconds, close to a minute — Ruggie is pretty sure he's going to pass the fuck out. Not because he's unhappy; the opposite, if anything. He's so stupidly, incandescently happy that his body isn't sure how to tolerate it, his body that's been beaten down to expect less, to trust nobody, to accept — but never forgive — the way others saw him and his loved ones as lesser. A starving man at a feast. He laughs, bright and nervous, just to ease the pressure, just to let some of the joy out. He's not getting enough air, he knows. You'll always have me. As long as you want me, you'll have me.
Through his laughter, and the tears he's barely fighting anymore, he gasps, "Good, 'cause if you think I was a jackass about my crush disappearing, you should see how deranged I'd be about my fiancé up and leaving." Saying the word out loud makes him dizzy, head spinning, heart racing. Sora's his fiancé. He's Sora's! Everyone back at NRC is never going to let him live this down. His family is going to be insufferable. His grandma is going to lecture him and cry. He can't wait to tell everyone he knows.
He can't wait tell everyone he knows that the best boy in the world — in all of them — chose Ruggie, and let Ruggie choose him.
A starving man at a feast. A boy who was raised selfish, who had no choice. It's frightening, how greedy, how selfish Ruggie can be. It's frightening, how much he thinks he'd give for Sora in this moment. He thinks, again, of Sora's death for his friends, and he thinks of how, prior to knowing Sora, he'd never understood loving anyone that much. Giving — selfish. Sora wants to be Ruggie's. Ruggie wants to take all of him and give all of himself in return.
"An' I'll be —— you'll have me, too." It's so easy to be selfish with Sora — who is growing into his own selfishness, the kind that feels so intuitive to Ruggie — and so his hand reaches, takes the side of Sora's face and tugs him closer for a kiss. It's hungry, almost possessive, if still loving, gentle. A way to hide, to ease the shock and embarrassment and dizziness before the combination kills him. When Ruggie pulls away, he huffs out an airless laugh. "This is so — fuckin' dumb. We always end up doin' romance shit in the stupidest way possible."