jesus christ, i'm alone again.

my name is matison.

[missingvibrance]

one of the greatest tragedies in life is that you will always be loved more than you will ever know. someone in class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you’ve only ever exchanged a few words with them—maybe none at all. someone on the street loves your smile and it gets them down the next few streets. someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. someone you used to be friends with five years ago would give anything to be in the same room as you today. someone who regularly comes into work is disappointed when you aren’t there to brighten their day. someone missed you today. someone noticed you were gone. someone loves you when you’re there; someone loves you when you’re nowhere to be found at all. you think you have always disappeared when you’re no longer in the picture, but you’ve never left the frame.

[cuteness--overload]

[weltenwellen]

Mary Oliver, from “Hum Hum”, A Thousand Mornings

[leftoverluck]

oh! this resonates with me!

[eggsdoodz]

the orange by wendy cope 🍊

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Perdues dans New York (Jean Rollin, 1989)

[prinz-myshkin]

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

[typewriter-worries]

It’s all for you; everything I do. 

Gabriela Mistral, from a letter to Doris Dana ( @liriostigre ) Strawberry Blond, Mitski (art by @fridayiminlovemp3 ) | A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara ( @hjarta ) | Untitled, @8bitfiction | The House of Love, Adonis ( @angesirene​ )

[mildmayfoxe]

writing down “had a frozen lasagna for dinner. it was subpar” in my diary and thinking smugly about how i’m recording the common lives of 2024 for future anthropologists

[steamandcream]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[primulaceas]

Vincent van Gogh, from a letter to Wil van Gogh. May 1889. The Illustrated Provence Letters of van Gogh selected and edited by Martin Bailey

[ashstfu]

someone said we had more fun in childhood because we didnt have any past memories to linger on and it has stuck with me ever since

[ashstfu]

[heavensghost]

[happifying-things]

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

Invitation, Mary Oliver

[stckwll]

To Zion // Lauryn Hill

[stckwll]

‘4/23′ by Trista Mateer, in The Dogs I Have Kissed